#358: The Key To Turning Tragedy Into Triumph With Heather!

Come on this journey with me each week. When you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. Fasten your seatbelts. I'm ready for my close up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back with me this week. Okay, so interesting conversation I want to have with you today. I'm going to keep it short. I'm going to try. That's really hard for me. Clearly, I like to talk too much. Is anyone with me on that one? However, I'm always like, I don't want anyone calling me on the phone. What is that? Makes absolutely no sense. Okay, I had this weird moment this week and I'll break it down for you. I think I mentioned to you last week that my son got his license and got in an accident the same day. I believe I told you about all this. Sometimes I post something and I don't know, did I tell everyone on the podcast or did I just post about it? So anyhow, it was super scary. I was out of town and I was actually giving a speech. I was a train ride away. The good news is, after this whole insane situation, my valet completely bailed out. My son totally helped me and it was one of those amazing situations where you just remember, oh, my gosh, I'm so lucky to have good people surrounding me everywhere. It's just, what a blessing, you know, Treating people with kindness and care and empathy and compassion and joy never goes out of fashion. It always pays off. And, you know, I don't even think about it that way because I see these guys every single day. But I'm just always so grateful that they're so nice to us. Wow, they really bailed me out. So never underestimate a situation that you might be in someday. I could have never forecast that I'd be in a situation with my son getting in an accident. I'm so far away and I need someone hands on to be able to help him with an adult situation. And luckily they were there. So be kind to others. If for nothing else, it truly makes a difference and makes the world a better place and may help you one day in a very big way, like it just did for me. Okay, but to that same theme. This was interesting. Okay, this week, do you have Apple Pay? I remember when Apple Pay first came out and I was like, who in the world is going to use that? I always have cash on me because cut to 20, 23. I never have a dollar on me. I literally, I haven't been to the bank in so long, and all we do is use Apple Pay at my house. I mean, I don't even. It's so weird. I go to spin in the morning with my phone, no wallet, stop at Starbucks on the way home to get Dylan something to eat. I just never even bring anything with me anymore, which is so crazy because just probably a year or two ago, I was saying, oh, that's never going to work. Who cares? Things change so fast, and I just want to draw your attention to that because I am definitely not the one that gets it in the moment, but here I am living it a very short window later. Okay, so I get a ping from my Apple Pay because I have my son set up so that he has my Apple Pay on his phone because I'm gone. And he, you know, needs to be able to take an Uber or get Uber eats or, you know, pay for something at school. So this week. And I have my Apple Pay set up, which I hope you do, too, so that I get a ping. Anytime there's a transaction, I get an email ping so I can see what these charges are. Hello. Not pulling the wool over mom's eyes. Anyhow, I got a ping, and it was from a gas station. I know you're like, why are you excited about this? It's so weird. And it's weird that I am excited about it, but I am, and I have to tell you about it. So when I saw that, it was a really big moment for me, and here's why. My son is 16 years old. We no longer live in south beach, however, we lived in South Beach. I lived there for 17, almost 18 years and had many great experiences there. South beach is gorgeous, beautiful. It's literally one of the most expensive places in the country. It's part of the reason why we left, but we had a lot of great experiences. But of course, like anyone, there were challenges as well.

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One of those challenges it must have been 2017. So this is like five, six years ago. This is a while ago. Could have even been seven years ago. My son was young, he was in elementary school and it was a Sunday morning, beautiful day. Much like today. There's a lot of beautiful days in Miami, by the way. Which is part of the reason why I absolutely love it here. I love being outside and I love the sun. Shout out to all my people that love the sun, okay? And if you're not from Miami, get on a plane and come down here because it is incredible, okay? We were heading out from our condo to go get fuel. Life is good. Like, all going well. Beautiful day. It's a Sunday, probably like 10 in the morning, 11 maybe. Busy day in South Beach. People everywhere. Just like, all is well. Thinking of nothing, I pull up to get fuel. My son is in the backseat. You know what? My son had to have been more like six because he was in the back seat. He wasn't sitting up front with me, so he must have still been young enough that he had to sit in the back. He had to be six or seven. So maybe this is ten years ago. Okay? Clearly, I've lost track in life. Bear with me, okay? But anyhow, he was small enough that he had to sit in the backseat, so I don't think he started sitting in the front seat until he was maybe 10. I jump out of the car completely unaware. Had a million things on my mind, I'm sure because I had a flight that night. That's why we're going to get fuel. I was leaving on a flight that night, so I'm sure I was going through my week, my travel for work. I was still in corporate America at the time. And I'm running through all this stuff in my mind, not paying attention to what I'm doing, okay? And I'm stressing this because I should have been and I wasn't. I learned so much, and I want you to learn from this experience, too. So I'm not paying attention. I'm just letting my mind go crazy about my week, my day ahead. I'm pumping gas, literally not paying any attention at all. Had left my keys, my phone, my wallet, everything in the. The front console. I'd gotten out, close the door. My son's in the back. I hadn't locked the doors. I was just acting like normal. You know, it's morning in south beach and there's people everywhere, and not even. I wasn't even thinking. And so I'm pumping gas on the other side of the car and not noticing what's happening on the other side. Well, wouldn't you know, a black car, I believe it was a Charger. A black Charger pulled up next to me to my door. Now I'm on the other side, right? I'm in the Back on the other side. So picture I don't see that this black car is pulling up. My little son's in the back seat, so he's not doing anything. And apparently I found out because I spoke to so many people about it, the police, so many people afterward. This is a thing, a sting like that they do. So wherever you live, just please learn from this so you don't ever have to make the mistake that I did. Anyways, I'm not paying attention. The guy opens my car door, steals my phone, my wallet, my keys, and for a moment stops and sees my son in the car. I believe he was probably going to steal the car, but he didn't. And I'm so lucky and so grateful. My son would have been taken, right? So, I mean, just what a horrible, horrible moment. Oh my gosh. So what happened was my son starts screaming in the back seat. I have tinted windows in my car, so I can't even really see what's going on. So I open up the car door to see what's going on with my child as I'm pumping gas and there's people everywhere and Dylan is screaming. And so I come running around to the other side of the car and that's when the other car took off with everything. I couldn't drive my car. They had the keys to my car. I didn't have my wallet, I didn't have my phone. Everything was gone. And I panicked. I didn't know what to do. So I just started running after the car. Like, what was I. What was I going to do? I have no idea. But you know, it's one of those moments that you just. You're not thinking. You just do. So then I realized I left my kid in the back seat of the car and I'm running down the street chasing a car that's trying to get on the highway to get away from me. So I stop because I realize I can't leave my son. So I run back to the gas station. I'm in full blown panic at this point. I can't even tell you how scary this was. I pick my son up, I go into the gas station asking for 911. Anyhow, the police come, they come back to my condo and just a complete disaster. I have no phone, nothing. I have no keys to get into my house. I mean, it was just a nightmare. My son was a wreck. Let me stop here and say this. So what I learned from this experience is anytime you pump gas anywhere, I don't care where you are, take Everything of importance. Wallet, keys, phone, anything like that with you, in your pocket or on your person. When you're pumping gas, pay attention to everything going on around you. Because actually, I didn't know this. Gas stations are a target. To steal from people, rob people. I didn't know that. And then lock your door while you're pumping the gas. Had I done any of those things, none of this would have happened. Right? Live and learn. Oh, my gosh. So it was very upsetting. I was so mad at myself. I obviously just. A lot of headaches. That whole day was spent, you know, I had to call the locksmith to break into my condo. I had to order new credit cards, order a new license, or I was supposed to be flying out that night. I had a flight for work. I mean, just complete nightmare. But the real thing that I didn't realize in the moment was it had impacted my son in such a profound way, I didn't realize it. So for years, he would not go to a gas station with me. He wouldn't go to a gas station with his father. He didn't want to go to a gas station with anybody. He was petrified of gas stations. He really got triggered. Anytime he would see a black Charger, it brought up all the feelings of he thought he was going to get kidnapped and all that emotion that he was going to be taken away. And then seeing me panic, he was triggered back to that moment so, so easily. So I had him see a therapist. I mean, it was really a bad situation. So cut to. Over the next couple years, things slowly, you know, got better. And for the most part, he stopped being triggered so much. He was growing, getting bigger. But I remember during the time thinking, is this ever gonna go away? Like, is it gonna be like this forever? This is so awful. I. I was shocked by. You just never know how much something's gonna impact somebody differently than you. I mean, I was very upset, too, but I was able to bounce back faster. Cause I had been through more hard times in my life. I was more resilient than my child. And at that time. And it just hit him a lot. He was really, really scared. And so he was scared for a couple years. Anytime we'd see a black Charger, which is so bizarre. Okay, so he went through therapy. I thought it helped a lot. He will challenge me on that if I bring it up now, but I believe it helped him a lot. So over time, he was able to start going back to gas stations. But truly, it was a couple of years. Cut to next thing Is the pandemic, right? And during the pandemic, his dog died, he lost sports, you know, for over a year. All sports were canceled in person. School was canceled for almost two years. I mean, it was not our finest time, right? And this was a prolonged period. So I had him back in therapy when that happened again because just awful situations again. I'm not saying it was in anyone's control. Everybody had to deal with this, but it was not living our best life. It was really hard. And my son, he's an only child, we were in a two bedroom condo and he was very isolated, right. So that was not a great time either. And I remember during that time thinking, oh my gosh, is this ever going to go back to normal? Like, is this the way it's going to be from now on?

This is awful.

I can't stand it. Of course I can look back now and appreciate there were some incredible moments during that time and some incredible things that happened for my business and things I learned and, you know, there were wins. But I guess what I want you to know is the suck was there. It sucked. It was awful. If I compare my life to then to now, it is so, oh my gosh, we can go anywhere. We can jump on a plane, we can go on a trip, we can go to a sporting event, we can. He goes to school every day, he plays sports every day. It's incredible. Life is incredible. And sometimes we forget that we have these really challenging times in our lives and they suck. When you're going through it and you wonder how long it's going to last and you really have no idea, Foreign.

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Well, the reason why I'm sharing all this with you is because I got that ping on my phone that he had gone to the gas station last week on his own. I remember feeling so happy when I saw it because I knew that even though it was a long time ago, right, this could have been, I don't even know what, eight years ago that we were robbed at the gas station. Over that time, he had become stronger. Over that time, he become more resilient. And now he's able to go to a gas station by himself. I never thought I would see that day. Truly, when I look back, that kid was really triggered by that experience. Not in a good way. And so it was just kind of this happy moment where something so random, like seeing a gas charge usually doesn't make me happy to see what gas costs these days, by the way. But I was really happy. I was just thinking, wow, years ago, I would have been praying for this moment. You know, I need to feel really grateful right now that this is here. And my son was able to outgrow that fear and, you know, use it as fuel and resilience and build strength within him. And I'm so proud of him. I'm. I was just so proud. And it was such a small thing, but it meant a lot to me because I never knew I'd see that day. Cut to today, actually. Cause I'm recording this on a Sunday. We go to church every Sunday. And I always drive, of course. Well, now that he has his license, he says, I want to drive to church on Sunday, which. Happy to let anybody drive in my life. I feel like I've driven so much in my life, I could care less if I never drive a car again. So I said, yeah, sure, of course you can drive. So we get in the car and we head to church and we're leaving. And he had basketball. Back to sports, you know, living his best life. After he was dropping me off at home, getting changed and going to play basketball. And he said, oh, Mom, I'm going to stop and get fuel because I don't think I'll have time to make it to my practice otherwise. I said, yeah, sure. He said, which one should I go to? And I told him, you know, the gas station I would go to, which is right near our house. And so he pulled in and it was so cute. He was trying to navigate. Oh, shoot, I'M on the wrong side. How can I get to the right side? Like, just so you know, thinking through. Because he still knew it. Driving it was so cute. And in that moment, I'm thinking, oh, my gosh. I'm at a gas station with my son. My son is the driver. He's gonna get out to pump the gas. Like, this is incredible. Now that you know the backstory, right, that my son literally couldn't go to a gas station for a few years. He was so scared, and so it was so cool. So he figures it out. He gets the car on the right side, and I'm sitting there, interested to know what he's gonna do. And he parks the car, shuts it off, and he looks at me, says, this is when I lock you in the car. Okay, Be right back. And he took the key, he took his phone, he took everything out of the console, put it in his pocket, jumped out of the car, locked the car, and started pumping the gas. And I have another Apple pay charge. But I was so happy. Wow. To watch him. Not nervous, not concerned, but intentional, aware, paying attention. Oh, my gosh. It was one of those moments that I just. I finally realized all of these challenges that we go through, all of these hardships, they suck in the time, they suck in the window. But what they do is set us up not only to be more resilient, not only to learn from our lessons, but for a better future, not only.

For ourselves, but for our kids, too.

And for anyone else that can learn from it. Right? So I'm hoping today, no matter what struggle you're going through, your family, your friends, your people close to you are going through, that you know, this, too, shall pass, and it's temporary, and things will get better. The best is yet to come. I promise you that. Have faith. I never knew I would see a day my son would be able to go to a gas station on his own, or much less drive me there and have the wherewithal, smarts and knowing to lock the car, to take everything out. He had been listening and paying attention, and he's making great decisions today. As a young man now out on his own, it was such a cool experience, and it kind of came full circle for me today, and I wanted to share that with you, that these tough moments, these challenging moments are not ideal in the moment, but sometimes, years later, it all makes sense. And I'm so grateful that he learned the lesson. I'm so grateful I learned the lesson. I hope you guys learned from it too. And more importantly, that you just have that faith and that knowing that when times are tough, they're not gonna last forever. And they might turn out to be a really big gift in the end too. So feeling so proud today, Feeling so grateful. I hope you are too. And I hope you have something really exciting to look forward to. Remember how important it is to get things on your calendar. You're excited about that you're looking forward to. I hope you're looking forward to something this week. I certainly am super excited. This week I'm super excited. Next week I'm gonna be in New York. This week I'm gonna be in Palm Beach. I've got speeches everywhere right now. I'm so grateful. I remember the days I prayed for the life that I have now and I am so thankful and grateful for it all. It certainly is not perfect, but I feel really blessed and really lucky and I hope you do too. Remember, I always want to hear from you. If you have any questions that I can answer DM me on any social media at Heather Monahan, go to heathermonahan.com you can submit a question for the show. And just so you know, I included a link in the show notes below for one skin. It's 15 off when you use the code confidence. This is the eye product, face product and body product I use every single day. All my friends are using it. It is game changing. Click the link below in the show notes. You will see the before and after pictures. It is mindboggling. It is the only skin product out there that is scientifically proven to reverse the effects of aging. That's crazy. And yes, I'm setting you up for the win. 15% off on one skin. Get the subscriptions. Get all three products because I will tell you you will thank me later. And if you like this show, the only way that I know that you do is if you leave me a review. It means the world to me and I will create more content like this. If you like the show, please send it to one person that you think can benefit from it or please share it on social media and tag me. I will always repost and re tag right back at you. Until next week, keep creating your confidence.

You know I will be.

I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're going to hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. Come on this journey with me.