#366: BANISH Negativity & Welcome In Trust: A Tim Castle Show Conversation With Heather!

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Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back with me this week. Okay, so this is a public service announcement. No matter what things look like on social media, I want you to know this. Things are not what they appear to be. They are not what they seem. And let me give you a little insight into my life in the last week to why that is. I had so many things going on this week, it was insane. However, what people don't know because I didn't post about it. I haven't been public about this. My son got Covid a week ago and couldn't leave the house. Was in quarantine, Was so sick, by the way. Not like people like, oh, Covid, no big deal anymore. No, my son was so sick. We were at the hospital. It was a disaster. I mean, the poor kid, it was awful. And for any moms out there or any dads, I mean, you know how horrible it is when your kid's suffering high fevers, throwing up stomach pains. I mean, it was awful, Right? So again, first world problems. I get it. I'm lucky. I have a healthy child. And I knew that ultimately he would get better. But it was scary, you know, And I didn't want to get sick. I knew if I need to take care of my kid, I have to be healthy, I need to work. I had so many commitments and it was this really stressful window of time. Okay, so people don't know that, right? Well, my people, you know that, but the rest of the world doesn't know it. So when you look on social media, it looks like everything was incredible over the last week. And I had so many amazing speaking engagements and interviewed so many incredible people for the show. And you know, I'm doing these deals with these huge partners and big names, and I'm so blessed and lucky. Oh, gosh, let me tell you, that is not the real reality we're living. So my son again, with COVID quarantined in his room, I'm petrified the whole week. Cause I don't want to get sick. And then I wasn't sleeping at night. Cause I was afraid, you know, he was waking up, throwing up and his fever was spiking and it was not good, Right? So there was like five days there. It was really, really bad. But you can't let that interfere with your work commitments and the commitments that you've made. So it was a tough week, bottom line. All right, so now you know that. And again, I remind myself, this, too shall pass. This is not as bad as 2020, when it was a heck of a lot worse. I can get through this, right? Like, I'm constantly reminding myself of those things, but when you're exhausted and not sleeping and your kid's really sick and, you know, whatever, it's just. It's stressful. So then one of these days this week, I don't remember what day it was anymore. Everything ran together over the last week, but one of these days, over the last week, I had this huge Zoom meeting, which I was anticipating to go one way. And again, this is a partnership that I've been working on now for months. We've been literally. We've had so many meetings over the last few months, and we're going through negotiations, and you never know what's going to happen in a negotiation. And I'm on very little sleep. I'm super stressed out. I'm trying to put a pin in everything when I launch the Zoom for this meeting. But obviously, you know, your life is gonna creep into different places. You're not gonna respond with the grace that you would like to always, which is okay. And that happens. And again, things are far from perfect, right? So I was served up a curveball in this meeting, and there's moments in my life where I'm so proud of myself. I'm like, oh, I knocked that out of the park. Like, way to go, Heather.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm so impressed with me. But this was not one of them, right? Like, I definitely didn't handle it as eloquently as I could if I had been rested and not so stressed out. And so, you know.

And again, give yourself grace, right?

That happens. Nobody's perfect. Live and learn. And I'm definitely a flawed human. Well, the other thing I forgot to mention to you is, during all of this, my building, which is literally the most peaceful building in the world. It's like, we never have a problem. They decide that it's gonna be the annual fire alarm testing scenario this week. So every single day, they were setting off fire alarms randomly, like, no rhyme or reason, which, to me, is even more stressful than just knowing it's going to be happening all day. So you could just be on a Zoom, and then all of a sudden, and it would go off for, like, seven minutes, and you just have to sit there and wait and can't really hear anything. So I'm on this huge zoom. I'm already stressed out, lack of sleep. Things were going in an unexpected direction I hadn't planned for, so I was like, off kilter. And I was trying to figure out how to manage it and negotiate it. And all of a sudden the fire alarm starts going off, right? And there's nothing I can do. You just gotta turn it over. Let go out of my control Again, not the most professional situation, but it's one that I have no control over. Wouldn't you know, this is how crazy life is at the same time. And I'm on this huge zoom, super, super important, huge deal that I've been working on for months. Someone's banging at my front door. My kid is sick in quarantine in his bedroom, passed out, sleeping with a high fever, on all this medication. All of a sudden, the fire alarms start going off. I'm on this super important negotiation on zoom. And now someone's banging on my front door. Literally, this stuff never happens. It was. Oh, my gosh. Anything that could go wrong would. In this moment. And I just had to laugh, like, what. What are you going to do when everything's hitting the fan and this is the stuff that nobody sees, right? I w. I had a film crew that was here filming this last week because that's how chaotic and crazy it was. People would not believe. So I just had to start laughing. I just start laughing. I'm in this negotiation. I hear my son now because he's been woken up. Mom, Mom. Like he feels sick, right?

Oh, my gosh.

All of a sudden, the front door opens. It's security at my building, which I didn't know this, and this was my own fault. Cause I didn't read the email, but I guess they had sent out an email a week ago saying during the fire alarm process, we will need to enter each unit during the week to actually test the different fire alarms within the different condo units. Be prepared to answer your door when security comes. If there's certain days you can't do it, you know, blah, blah, blah, let us know. I saw the email and I just ran through it because I'm like, oh, fire alarm testing, whatever. Nothing I can do. Move on. So unbeknownst to me, they were there to check my alarms. I didn't answer. And they have access if they need it. They always have access to enter my unit.

So they entered.

I'm on the zoom in the middle of the super important negotiation. All the fire Alarms are going off now. Security's entering my unit. There's four of them. It looks like I'm a criminal or something. And my son's starting to scream because he just got woken up out of his Covid sleep because the fire alarms are going off and people are banging at the doors.

Yeah.

So that's my first world problem. So anyhow, so the point is this. You might see things on my social media and be like, oh, Heather is killing it and good for her. I'm here to tell you. No, no. Things are never what they seem. There's so much chaos and insanity that could be going on in any given moment. And then, of course, there are weeks where things go seamlessly. And I'm super grateful and thankful. This week was a tougher one. And then with everything going on in the Middle east, there's so much hatred and fighting amongst everyone. It's crazy. And the news and the negativity and the sadness and the heartbreak and it's just, oh, my gosh, I don't know about you. I just feel myself at any given moment, I could cry. I feel so sad for humanity, so sad for everyone in the Middle east, so sad for everyone afraid, everyone struggling, everyone in the middle of this war. I just praying for peace. And it has been a tough window, and I'm sure it has been for you, too. So I'm praying for you. I'm praying for Middle East. I'm praying for healing. I'm praying for safety for all. I'm praying for people to treat one another with respect and kindness and love. And I'm not okay with violence, and I hope you're not either. It's that time of year again.

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Share that things just aren't what they seem on social media because I Did a quick insta story about this. I did not give anywhere near the color I just gave you, but I just did a quick like 30 second story. Like, listen, things are not what they seem. I was just on a meeting with fire alarms going off, my kid's sick at the other room, whatever. And a good friend of mine, who I think the world of, who's killing it, who I always think is just incredible, sent me a DM and said, thanks so much for saying that. I'm literally having the worst week. Heather, you have no idea what's going on. Pure hell. And just went on and on about how awful his life was and I had no idea. You never know what's going on in someone else's life, regardless of what their social media might look like, regardless of what it looks like. If you walk by them down the street and it looks like they're killing it, you just never know what's really happening. Have empathy for others, kindness for others, love for others, prayers for others. It's just, gosh, you never really know what's happening. But one thing's for sure, it's not what it looks like on the outside. That much I know. That is for sure. So hope that message lands with you and resonates with you and at least reminds you that the struggle is real for all of us. And in any given moment, it can turn on a dime. Because guess what? My son was cleared yesterday to leave the house and to resume activity. And it was so funny getting to see his face that first day he woke up that he wasn't throwing up, that the fever had broken, just to see that happiness on his face. What a gift it was. And he felt so blessed, right? Like these things that we just take for granted every day to be able to leave your bedroom, you know, he was in quarantine for a week and so to be able to leave his bedroom was such a gift. To be able to get up and not throw up was such a gift. And he was so grateful and happy and joyful and it just, gosh, it reminded me that's how we need to lead our lives every day. That we're lucky we're not sick, we're lucky that we're healthy, that, you know, we're getting to face these first world problems that we face day in and day out. It's what a gift and a blessing. And it was just so fun to get him see, to leave the house and see his face. You know, he's like, there's a whole world out there, Bob. And he was so excited. It brought me so much joy. So, again, our job is to find the joy in any moment and celebrate it and be grateful for it and look for more. Because it's out there. We just have to open our eyes to it. And this kid definitely opened my eyes to the joy of just leaving a house and having that freedom to do that is such a beautiful thing. So, okay, so there's that. Now this episode's going to be a little different because I did a show a week ago or two weeks ago. No, because it was before my son had Covid. So maybe it was a week and a half or two weeks ago for Tim Castle, Tim Castle's podcast. And here's why I'm gonna explain it to you for those of you that think success comes easy. Eh, it doesn't, right? Success was easy. Everybody would have it. You gotta put the work in, you gotta put the reps in. And you don't stop when, oh, you're like, okay, my show's doing well. I'm getting big. No, you gotta keep going. You gotta keep expanding your reach, enlarging your territory and allowing more people to access your show by showing up and allowing them to find you. And the way that you do that is you go and you become a guest on other shows, right? But that's an hour out of your day every time you do it. And it's work that needs to be put in, and it's work that people might not always see, but it's always happening behind the scenes. And another example of that, during this week, the COVID week with the fire alarms, I had Jim Kwik on my show, and it was funny. He's an incredible guest. He's an incredible human, incredible person. Does so much work for charity to give back. So successful, so beyond ahead of me, like, guy is killing it. He's light years ahead of me. And you know what was so cool is that he has a new book that is coming out right now. And that's why I was interviewing him on the show, is to help him promote his book, which is all for charity, by the way. And it was so interesting. We turned the zoom on, fire alarms are going off. There's pure chaos in my house, Covid's in my house, all this insanity. I just act like everything's fine. However, we might have some issues with.

The fire alarm, Jim.

So I'm gonna put me on mute when I'm not talking, right? Trying to downplay it. There may be security running in and out and a child With COVID running around in the background. Who knows? That's actually didn't happen. But so I get on with Jim. I tell him real quickly about the fire alarm. Then I ask him, hey, how are you doing? Like, where are you? What's happening in your life? And he's like, heather, I just got off stage. He said, I'm in a hotel right now. And I said, oh, my God. Like, here's this guy who just killed his freaking speech. He's in. I think he was in Chicago, like, traveling. Just got off the stage, was still all amped up, and I'm like, listen, do you want to take 20 minutes to, like, go get a glass of water and calm down and check your email? And he's like, you know what? No, I'm amped up. I'm ready. Like, let's go. And it just reminded me, if success was easy, everyone would have it. Yeah, it would be way easier for him to clear his day and not do any more work after you give a big speech. Because let me tell you, when you kill a speech like that, you're exhausted when you come off, right? Like, you left it all out on the court. Like, you're tired and drained. And I'm sure he was out there shaking hands with people and meeting people. It's a lot. But no, this guy went and killed it on the speech, got off the speech stage, ran up to the hotel room, flipped on zoom, and was like, camera ready. Let's go. Hit me with the interview questions. It just reminded me that things aren't always what they appear to be on the outside. To become successful takes work. And just because someone's super successful doesn't mean that they've, like, hit that tipping point. They're not working hard anymore. I look to Jim Quick, who's light years ahead of me, and he's working so hard. So just wanted to leave you with that reminder back to where we're going next. Okay, So I do a lot of podcasts. I'm a guest on a lot of different shows. I do that to enlarge my show. By the way, if you've left me a review on the show, thank you so much. If you haven't, please do so today. It means the world to me. It really helps so much. And when you share the show, oh, my gosh. Even with just one person that you think can benefit from it, it helps immensely. No one succeeds alone. And that for sure goes for me too. I so need your help, and I so, so, so appreciate it. So if you could share the show with somebody that you think would enjoy it or benefit from it. It would mean the world to me. If you could post on your Insta story or on any social media you're on, Tag me. I will always repost and reshare. That helps huge too. And if you could leave a review, it would help so much. So I was a guest on Tim Castle show and like I said, I do a lot of these different shows, but for whatever reason, this one was different. This conversation was different, right? 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And you are in for a treat. Today we talk to Heather Monahan. She's top 50 keynote speaker in the world. She used to be a CRO in advertising and media. She fired her villain and she went out and she took courageous action as well as going deeper into faith and the grace of God. God she was able to get more abundance and move through her life in the last five years have transformed. She's now best selling author of two books. She has her own remarkable podcast Creating Confidence which is phenomenal. I recommend you listen to and she's out in the world speaking with love, with joy, with enthusiasm. Creating Confidence as she goes like this is her purpose and she's out there touching lives. This conversation that we had, though, it's all about removing negligence, negativity from your life and replacing it with abundance. This could be anything. It could be struggling financially, it could be at work and you're being bullied. It could be just you're showing up and you're feeling inauthentic to yourself and you know that you're coping with anxiety. You seem to be coping with life rather than proactively going after life and filling yourself with life. If this resonates, I suggest you sit down, keep get a pen and paper, get a cup of tea and just put this on and let it flow. Let the words that resonate with you flow through. We talk about how to surrender. We talk about intuition, trusting your gut. We talk about how to actually take control of your life in a way that will build you up and build your vision and life on solid ground and just the speed of it. And Heather's the perfect person to just walk through how small of these examples of change in our own life. In the space of five years. They're going from now, best selling author, top 50 keynote speaker in the world, to having this whole mission and purpose that is leading how to change people's lives and leading people into the future, giving them what they need, which is how to create confidence and trust themselves. Trust yourself. So believe, believe, believe that you can do it. So that says. And let's get into this episode. Take it away, Heather. Welcome to the Tim Castle show where I sit down with courageous people doing inspirational things around the world. My journey so far as a best selling author of Be the Lion, the Art of Negotiation, Momentum, Sales Model and the art of Decision making has taken me to some very interesting places. I truly believe that their stories that we have locked up inside of us can help other people. And through those stories, we can transform the world. I'm sure you're ambitious, hungry, a go getter, and you're looking for the latest strategies in how to become a high achiever and maintain that success and keep expanding if that's you and that resonates. Sign up for my newsletter, the School of Success newsletter and I'll hit you with actionable ideas that you can put into play right away every single week. Let's go. Let's get into the episode. Okay. Heather Monahan, welcome to the Tim Castle Show.

Thanks for having me, Tim.

Thank you so much for coming on. You're a professional speaker, best selling author, host of the Amazing Confidence Podcast, number one Expert in the world in creating confidence. Now, you used to be a former CRO for a number of years in advertising and media and you were recently named a top 50 keynote speaker in the world. You've got two books, overcome your Villains and Confidence Creator. And I'm so, so happy to have you on the show because I know that you're going to help the listeners today with creating confidence and overcoming those self defeating blockers and toxic workplaces and really the challenges that we all face going out into the world today. So thank you so much again for coming on and sharing your wisdom.

Yeah, happy to be here.

So I want to start at the beginning with your story and before we get into kind of how to create confidence and the tips and like, where did this all start for you and how did you get here today to become the world's leading expert on creating confidence?

So I grew up poor and I remember as a kid, you know, you only know your own circumstances in your own situation. So I remember thinking some people had great lives out there. You know, mine was just not the greatest and kind of just thought it is what it is until I realized my mom struggled so much financially, I thought maybe I should just go out and get a job. And I started to paper route it age nine, bussing tables at age 12, you know, working in the restaurant industry and moving my way up to waitress and bartender. And really ultimately that whole entire time I was struggling with my confidence massively. But I was so much more focused on generating revenue to find a way out just to, you know, get income that it ended up being this great blessing for me that I had all these years of ultimately sales experience. So, you know, kind of turning this really negative situation into a positive one for, for me, by the time I graduated college, I had had 15 years of sales experience. So I got into the wine industry in sales immediately after I graduated. My strategy was focus on who has the nicest cars and whoever they are, that's who I want to go emulate because that means there's a lot of money there. And so that was a strategy behind why I got into the wine business. And you know, it was interesting the whole time on the outside looking in at me because I was a hustler because I worked so hard, I succeeded. By the way, everyone listening right now, that is the most baseline, basic strategy out there. And it works so, you know, as long as you can outwork everybody, you're going to win in the end. Just don't give up. And that was sort of my strategy. So it had worked really well for me, but I never really dealt with the idea that, wow, I'm struggling with who I am, I'm struggling with shame, I'm struggling with the idea that I doubt myself. I just kept masking that without working everyone. And, and on the outside looking at it looked like it was working. So I really, you're not forced to deal with a lot of those issues until life gets you to take a second look. So through a series of different events, whether it be my divorce, getting fired, you know, in corporate America, a number of different things throwing my back out, you know, there was all these different issues that had come up in my life that made me start thinking, wait a minute, what's off here? Something's wrong. And in the end, ultimately, in the beginning, actually the end being when I got fired, it was that moment to say, okay, I just lost everything. Well, I thought I had lost everything. You know, how do I rebuild? And looking back across my life and realizing, wait a minute, I've been in low moments before, I've been in tough times before. Here's how I rebuild. And that whole situation and an outcome of really realization about myself and self awareness is what made me realize, wait a minute, it's self doubt that's plagued me my whole life. It's lack of confidence that's really been a problem for me and in many ways drove me to work hard and outwork others and find all this financial success and business success. But imagine if I could create a life where I have ultimate confidence, I am a hard worker, and I bring all these things together. I think things will be so much better. And, and that's where, where I am today.

That's so inspiring. It's truly inspiring. So at that pivotal moment, I mean, it really was a pivot for you because you went into that, that boardroom and you, you met your villain. And then obviously as it unfolded, like she gave you two statements to sign, you signed neither. You empowered yourself, like, this is, this is really bold stuff. But at the same time, like in there, like you were saying, you had all this shame and anxiety and all this other stuff. Like, for you, how did you then implement the strategy? Because then you went on and obviously created Boston Heels, You, CEO of your own company. Like, your career has obviously taken a completely new turn and you're an author, you have an amazing podcast, like, you're a speaker. Like, it's gone through the roof. Like, at what point did you know you were going to take that bold decision and empower yourself? Was it in the room or you just did it in the moment and then how did you kind of. What was the strategy to go? Right now we're doing Boston Heels now we're going all out on confidence.

Yeah. For everyone listening that doesn't know my story, I'll give you a little background into what Tim's describing. So I had worked for the same company for 14 years. I had worked for the same CEO for 14 years. He was a man much older than I was and he was the founder of the company. He had elevated me three different times. I was now in the C suite media, which there was less than a handful of women in the C suite media. I was just named one of the most influential women in radio. I was greatly overachieving my goals. I was doing a phenomenal job. Like every review was off the charts. You know, I was winning all these different awards and really feeling like I had my business and career on lock. I mean, I did, I was killing it. And unexpectedly, the CEO I worked for for 14 years became ill.

Right.

Totally out of your control. You have no idea this is happening. This could happen to anyone. So I really, please listen to this. You know, he became ill. He chose his daughter to replace him. And immediately my arch nemesis, the one person at work that hated me my entire career, became my boss overnight. And so I got received an email that said, heather, the new CEO would like you to come to her office and meet with her. So I had to drive three hours over from Miami to Naples to, to meet with her. And when I walked in, she was all smiles, hands on her hips, standing up. And this woman never smiled at me. So I knew from the word go something was wrong. And you know, walking into that situation, I didn't know what to expect. She was very intelligent woman. She didn't like me, but she was intelligent. So I thought to myself, she's not going to fire me because she's smart. Like it would be such a poor business decision. So I was logically rationalizing my mind. By the way, when people are dealing from a place of emotion, jealousy, anger, threat, they're not coming from a place of logic, right? They're coming from a place of emotion. And she was threatened by me. And I, and I shouldn't have thought about it the way that I did because I was wrong. The minute I walked in, there was clear she was firing me. And I had seen many of these meetings before, they always want you to sign a non disparaging agreement which basically would get you to sign away your Right. To ever discuss anything that ever happened or transpired in your experiences at the company and never say a negative word about the company. Basically, they buy your silence. And many corporations do this. And it was really her being all smiley and excited to see me. And I'm a single mother and I have major bills to pay. And I say I have golden handcuffs. Right. I'm, I didn't come from a wealthy family. I didn't have something to fall back on. It was me working. And a lot of people don't know this. I had an 18 month non compete. So I had to leave the industry that I had created myself as an expert in over 20 years and start over somewhere as a rookie. You're not. Who's starting over as a rookie and making millions of dollars? No one that I know. Right. So there was all of this pressure, financial pressure and, and life pressure on me. But in that moment, her nasty phase, I just thought to myself, oh, heck no. This lady's bullied me way too long. I'm not, I'm not going for it today. And I didn't sign the deal. I said. She handed me two memos. One said, heather Monahan's been fired. She was appealing to my ego. And the other one said, heather Monahan, amazing employee that we've always loved, 14 years, grew the company, blah blah blah, has chosen to leave. And she said, which one would you like to sign? If I wanted the beautiful memo to go out, I'd get a big check, a parting gift which would help me find my way over the next year, you know, year and a half until my non compete ran out. But I just saw her smile and I thought, no, I'm not going to be bullied any longer. This is, I'm not buying my silent like this is crazy. And I smiled back at her and with all the grace and class I had within me, I stood up and said, you have nothing else to say? I have nothing else to say. I didn't write either one of these memos. I'm not signing either.

I'll be on my way.

And I walked out and I was so proud of myself in that moment. I wish so badly, Tim, that I had video of that. Oh my gosh. And this will be a movie one day and I can't wait until the day it is. And Reese Witherspoon better play me. But I've been putting that out there for years, by the way. So the thing is, is that I got to my car, I started bawling my eyes out because I Couldn't even process that I had just done that, right? Because I wanted the money and I want that big check. But I was just so sick of being treated poorly. And for me, it was one of those crazy moments in life that you don't know. I had no idea what was ahead of me. Right? I'm clueless. I think I have nothing. I think I've lost everything. However, that was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. And trust your gut, trust your intuition, I put myself first and I respected myself. Even though I didn't know how the math would work, even though I didn't know what that road ahead would look like. And for short term, it looked horrible. I went under a weighted blanket, I drank a bottle of Chardonnay, not a glass. Like I was a train wreck. Until 24 hours later I woke up and I'm like, nobody's calling me. No one's coming to hear what happened. She's keeping this quiet. And I posted on social media, I've just been fired. And if I've ever helped you, I need to hear from you now. And that post went viral, landing me on the Elvis Duran show. And that's where he spoke this truth and this conviction and this belief into me that I was writing a book and I wasn't. And you know, never hold back your words or your beliefs. You can literally individually change the course of somebod else's life by speaking your truth into them. And that man did that day. And it changed the whole trajectory of my life, my business and my confidence.

That's so powerful. That's so powerful and there's so much in that. Like, I love how you're. Even within that answer, you're also manifesting the next steps of your life. With Reese Witherspoon playing you in the movie of this. Like I get it. Like I was smiling throughout all of that. Like it's just, it's brilliant. So in that moment you chose you. Yeah, it like society or the way it's, the way it's framed is like, hey, this is a dumb decision. You've got money here, you've got a kid, you've got, you've built everything for this. If you've. And I didn't, you've got an 18 month non compete in an industry where you're a CRO, suddenly you're going to move. But yeah, you're right. Like you're literally walking away from not only that check but also that career. And therefore that's scary. Like that takes like, was it that moment then that because you chose you. You actually ultimately chose confidence. You chose to empower that confidence. And that unleashed the awareness that you were talking about in the first answer around self awareness and being able to kind of tap into who you really were and not. Not lead with anxiety.

Yes. However, the anxiety didn't disappear. Right. However, the other that I did that was a byproduct of this decision was I fired my number one villain from my life. I didn't realize it in the moment. Again, I had no idea. I can. You can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only do that looking back. So it's so clear to me now. I needed to eradicate that woman, this negative person from my life. Because when I did that, remember I mentioned Elvis Strand, all these positive people started showing up. They weren't in my life before. Right. All this opportunity started coming to me, but it only happened as a byproduct of removing the most negative person from my life. So for anyone listening right now, fire your villains, overcome your bills, get them out of your life. The minute you do, you open that door to all these positive opportunities and positive people to come in. And that's really what changes the dynamic. That's really what starts building the confidence for you, right?

You. You created that space that was filled with a villain, filled with negativity. And you said, no longer is this acceptable. We're not having this. And that's when you could receive all of it. And so what happened with that experience? And so you went on the show and then he spoke faith and confidence into you. You'd already taken that step to tr. So you were like, I'm doing this. I'm all in. Like, how did that feel?

I mean, confusing, because I'm saying, how do you write a book? So I googled how do you write a book? And it's funny. People always ask me that, how do you become a bestselling author? Must be so hard. I'm like, no, you Google it and then you do what it tells you, right? Like, it's. It's just funny to me. And a young person said to me the other day, oh, my gosh, you didn't even have chat GPT. Oh, my God. And I still figured it out, right? It's just about put the work and take the chance on yourself, decide that done is better than perfect. I thought to myself, okay, I don't know if this book is good enough, but I published it. And you know what? There's three errors in It. And I'm always going to be the person that has this amazing book out in the world with three errors that's helped thousands of people that I get amazing DMs and reviews from. And I'm grateful for that. I'd always rather be that person that has the book with the three errors, then kept that perfect book inside of me. So take the chance. Like write the book. You know, just go for it and, and watch how it all unfolds.

I love that, that trusting your gut and not striving for perfection, but like, actually, like you said, the answers are there. Whether you want to then trust your gut and follow them is the next step. So just do what it says, get out there and then create that space. Let, let the good stuff come in and just go for it and don't be held back by, I'm not good enough. Like, it just seems. This is beautiful. It's going to help lots of people because there's tons of people listening to this right now who a, have a villain and they can identify them in the head as they're listening to this. And then secondly, they know what they need to do because you, you are literally telling them the next steps to do and they have that idea of what they would love to do and go do it. Like then, then I would say, what about financial anxiety? So bills, money, all of the logic comes in around that. Like, how do we deal with that?

Listen, I grew up in a family of scarcity, scarcity mindset, never enough. You know, always struggle. We, we were on food stamps at different points in time in my childhood. So. And remember my strategy was just work harder than anyone and everyone you like, work yourself to death. It's so fun. I'm 49 now and I realized, gosh, I worked so much harder. I didn't have to work that hard. I could have worked smarter. I was just so scared to take my foot off the gas pedal because of the way I grew up. So it's. For me, it's been a lot of mindset work around. Wait a minute, not only trusting myself, but trusting God, trusting the universe, whatever it is, that higher power, that higher self that you may have, however you want to see it, I see it as God. But that faith and that, that trust that I'm going to be okay. And the more, oh my gosh, it's so crazy what's happening in my life right now more than ever, I've moved towards my faith and my trust in, in God and the higher power that the more you Move to that. The more you see that abundance and opportunity just comes flooding into your life. I wish I had known these things. And the funny thing is it's so interesting because someone sent me some work around Jose Silva, who's this incredible person who's know the Silva Method, like is no longer here on this planet. However, he's trained many people and his teachings are being taught all the time. And had sent me a YouTube video of this man. This is like I think back in the 60s or seven, like so long ago, right. It's all these teachings have always been out there and it's just interesting. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I'm sure many people had approached me in my life and said hey, you might want to work on your scarcity minds. I'm sure someone said that to me at some point and I couldn't hear it for whatever reason. So you know, when you're ready, that teacher will appear and hopefully we can be that teacher today. Tim, for people, it just. You never know what day when you're ready for that message. The information is out there. I guarantee it to you. Like it's all in the Bible. It's residing there. It's been there forever. We just have to tap into it or maybe be open to receiving it from that right person coming at us with that right frequency and message at the right timing.

I love that you mentioned frequency then like you're wearing purple as well. Which is the highest vibrating color, the frequency it's all about. Purple is all. It's the most closest to God color. So I was really happy that yeah, it's. It's the most enlightened color. So as a frequency within that. So that's.

I would learn something new every day. I had no idea. Now just we rock more and more.

Purple.

No, I love this and I do think it's very important that people like I also believe in God and a higher power. And I've seen the effects in my life. And when you lean into that, when you trust and you have faith like it is the speed at which things can happen and the miraculousness is just. It blows your mind, right? It's.

It is so shocking to me and I don't talk about this often, but about two years ago I'm looking. So I'm looking at my old condo.

I used to own.

I sold my condo and the way the whole situation transpired was all based in God. And. And when I look back, it's so clear now and all of these events like massive Events that have occurred in my life in the past couple of years have all been since my son and I really stepped into our faith and our journey with faith and our journey in a relationship with God which is a hundred percent a result and thank I'm thankful for my son is the one that said to me we need to work on our relationship with God and strengthen our faith. He said literally verbalize that to me. That's all a mother needs to hear. And suddenly I'm calling everyone I know that got strong religion game and I'm like what do I do? What do I and they're like get into a church in Miami and they told me the church to go to and and all of these things now when I look back completely transformed our lives and to your point the speed at which once figure out what your purpose is, you know why you're here and you you surrendered to this idea of God's plan for you and how can you make a difference in the world and how can. And that you are worthy of abundance and you are worthy of opportunity and you know you are favored by God and and loved by God and you're worthy. As you step into all of this and start receiving it and accepting it, watch out because the opportunities and things that you've been praying for are going to start coming into your life so rapidly. It's. It's incredible. I'm so, so grateful for that knowledge now.

It's.

It's life changing.

Massive. Massive. Yeah, this. There's a lot of words that you said in that as well like the word surrender and words that seem like their ultimate freedom effectively once you actually surrender and once and, and part of what we're talking about here with the scarcity mindset, it's almost surrendering to the fact that the abundance, the money is all there, the everything, the opportunity is all there. Just you blocking it with your old programming. And then when you build up your self worth and you have that idea that you can receive and you are worthy to receive, suddenly you unlock all of those possibilities.

And do you know what Tim? This is and I'm interested to hear your opinion. It what tricked me for a long time is I was around people without faith who were super successful, who didn't do good in the world, made millions and millions of dollars. I made a lot of money when I was just strong arming it and I wasn't So I had seen financial success one way so then to imagine that it was possible this way I was like oh no, that's not Real, that just can't be real.

So it's almost.

It tricks you when you see people who have found all this success and you're like that's got to be the only way. Because logically that's what I see. I just hadn't been exposed to people living in this other way which now that I rid myself of those type of people and instead surround myself with face based people who have success, who are joyful, who are happy, who are doing good. And I see that isn't the only way to create success. And true real success is created this way over here because you are doing good and then you truly are favored and then things are just easy, easier. It's just, it's such a better way of living.

Oh, this taps into another question I was going to ask you yet this is so perfect that you brought this up because I think this does link to like one, the environment you're in and looking at that and going hey, something feels off within me. I have to pretend to be this person. And I know that in on the inside I don't want to be this kind of person but I, I see what they have and like yeah, you're right, you went down double down on where the best cars were and that was led you to that career. And you're like yeah, I see what they've got and I want that. So this is how they behave and I need to be like them to get it. And when you go on this other way and this other journey through the self awareness and through this path of enlightenment, it's the ease, it's the flow, it's the actual feeling like yourself, right? And then getting more. You're like this is great, this is great. And you give more, right? You can put more value out as well.

But I found just for anyone who's listening and going, this can't be real. I'm like you, I, because I had 40 something years living another way. You're like fighting against your old way of thinking. It's hard and it still is a journey and a struggle for me. I'm get it gets better over time, right? Because the more time you see, you see the proof. You're like I write, I write it down and I make myself read it every, I draw, I pull out my notes and the notes are getting thicker and thicker. I make myself read this every morning because it reminds me that's God's plan.

Wait a minute.

I, this is why my life is rooted in faith. Now I have to do the work to Remind myself every single day. And anytime some miracle shows up, my day, I, like, I either texted myself, I emailed myself, I put it in my notes, or I write it down because I've got to continue to reprogram myself that this is the way to live. Oh, yeah, Heather, you know that because you've been seeing that now for a couple of years now, since you started down this path. So don't think that miraculously, it just changes in you and then suddenly, oh, everything is fixed. That has not been the case for me. It's a daily grind, a daily work, and it's. It's worth doing.

This is super important. This is super important because that. That is another trick that's played. It's the fact that, yeah, you've got it and you've got it in motion, but then that you're not going to deviate back to your old habits, or the old way is not going to trick you into thinking that's the way. I think everybody should go on and follow Heather now on Instagram, because you post a lot of amazing posts that are showing how you are guiding that process every day. And the journaling and the pieces around, like, your message that you're putting out every day could help someone stay on that path. That's what I feel. I feel like people should go follow you now.

That's why.

That's why I read my books, that's why I create my content, and that's why I. I share it all on my podcast and give my speeches. Like, everything I do at work is to give back what I wish I had just a couple of years ago, because it's changed my life. And I hear every single day how it's changing other people's lives. So it's. It's such an incredible thing to say. This is my purpose. How does my purpose, you know, how can it drive revenue and create value for me so I can live the life that I want to live while doing good in the world, while helping others, while, like, stepping into that potential of myself scaring myself and going for more and challenging myself every day and. And finding that is like. It's like the Holy Grail.

Absolutely. Yeah. You're living in purpose. And then. But the key part here is that you're. You're training yourself as you go every day, every day, the daily grind, to stay within purpose, to stay with God, to stay with abundance, to stay with the freedom and the liberty that you've created. But. And because we do get scared, and as you're growing you're still pushing into the unknown. How even at this level of success, because you've opened many doors in the space of five, six years since you kind of had this move, like that has still taken courage and confidence. Like what's your process? And I know you've got three steps that you outline in the book, but what's your process for creating confidence or to move at speed when you're feeling doubt but you know it's the right thing to do?

Well, more than ever now, I just know fear is a green light. That means go and go faster. I know that inherently now because of my own life. I've seen it. Every single time I step into the fear, something great unlocks, something great happens, right?

So.

Or I become more confident in myself. I'm more proud of myself. That's all a win to me. So I, I just inherently know that now because it's been, you know, a little over five years that I've been living like this. So the proof has stacked up enough. I have the proof and I just remind myself of it daily. You speak about what you need to read about, right? So I constantly am talking and living in this message. I've got to live it too for people because my why is I want to help them. So in those moments I struggle for me, I do it for my son. In those moments I struggle for me, I do for that last person I got the DM from because I know they need to see me go take that next big stage even though they know I'm freaking out. Right? And the more I do that and the more I surround myself with like minded people, the more I'm encouraged to do it, I'm pushed to do it. The more it becomes natural. It's like, that's your, you're on repeat. Right? But there's plenty of things. I remember when I gave my TEDX talk, that was one of the scariest things I had ever done. And people will say why you talk all the time. It was scripted. You can't leave the red circle. It's very directive and prescriptive. That's not how I speak. So for me, it was totally out of my comfort zone. And again, don't take things on face value. People like, you'll say, oh, of course she's going to be good at no, there was no of course. I trained and practiced for months. I hired a coach, I, I invested in myself, I went to the venue ahead of time. Like these are all things I do to help me with my confidence. And I Visualized every night. I watched TED Talks ad nauseam for months so that I could put myself there so I could see myself. You know, I wrote out scripted what it was going to look like. I was going to kill it. The audience was going to go crazy. I did all of these mind priming practices for myself to train myself. I did the actual work. I went in front of countless audiences practicing my talk ahead of time, right? Like, put the reps in and, and I'll never forget the day of. I was having a panic attack. I freaked out and everything was going wrong. And I remember closing my eyes and saying, if you don't walk out there right now, you will never forgive yourself. If you go out there and blow it, I'm going to be so proud of you. And that was all I need to hear in my own head. And I walked out onto that stage. Take the pressure off of yourself. You could reach one person. You've done your job here, right? Like I always remind myself of that. Done will always be better than perfect. And I went and. And I crushed it. And the reason why I crushed it is because I practiced so much. Like, I look back because I have faith in something bigger than me. Because I know it's my purpose. I know it's why I'm supposed to be here on this planet. Like, there's so many things I had done, but I put the work in. Like, people don't want to hear that. I put the reps in. I hired a coach. Like, I practice every day. I video myself. Like, I also do the work, right? I do all the personal development, but then I actually do the reps of practicing the speech over and over and over again. And you do those things, you bring them all together. It's really, really powerful and it's highly likely you're going to succeed.

Wow, it's so cool to hear you talk about, like, how it actually went down. Because if you look and you watch that TED talk, it is, it hits home. You hit it out of the park.

You killed it. I'm like, oh my. I almost passed out before I walked out there. It's crazy.

And this is kind of building on what we were talking about before. This is the, you've, you've kept the hard work element of what you were doing, but you've combined it with faith. You've combined it with taking action. You've combined it with giving yourself permission to be vulnerable and to fail. But also, what is the purpose here? You have a purpose and you're saying, hey, if I Hit home with one person. That's good enough. That's what I want to do. Therefore, you lower that pressure and you can go deliver. But you did the work. So it's kind of like you took stuff from your old life, but you. You built it on solid ground. You built it on God's ground.

That's exactly it. Like, I. I've married two worlds together, and it's so powerful. I took, like, what made me successful in that old world with what is I'm tapping into now. That's so powerful, and I brought them together. And I'll tell you, I just started doing some work with Dean Graziosi, and my first day that I got to spend time with him in real life, I saw exactly that in him. He has this, like, massive work ethic where he just constantly works and works and puts a reps and puts work. And then he's got this feet, and he's got this belief. And I saw. And again, success leaves clues, right? Like, I didn't invent this recipe. And seeing it in him. Someone who's ahead of me, someone who's got, you know, a couple of years ahead of me on this, I was like, oh, it just modeled for me even more. This is the. This is the right partnership, like, bringing this all together. That is. Is just so incredibly powerful.

This is. And this is for anyone listening, you're putting yourself in a place where you can see people that are doing what you want. You can see it, right? There's a fact that you can see it there. But, like, when you remove the villains and say, you've got that toxic workplace going on, when you get that out of your life, when you put you forward, the right people start to come in, and then you can spot what they're doing that's blowing them up. And you're like, that's who I should be around. That's gonna add.

It's incredible. I'll tell you specific to the Dean thing, Dean is partners with Tony Robbins. I remember. This is crazy. When I was a little kid, Tony Robbins used to do these, like, nighttime. I don't even know what infomercials or. I don't know. It was something like he was selling himself. I watch those things because, remember, I had, like, no confidence. I was struggling financially, struggling. So I would watch all of these TV infomercials that he would have as a child, having no idea who he was cut to, you know. You know, my whole story. Now I'm in the workplace, and then in Netflix did a special on Him, I'm right there watching that. Like, I would always buy his stuff, like books and whatnot. And then wouldn't you know it? And nothing's happening. I'm not getting any messages from Tony Robbins or DMs or Dean Grass, Nothing, Right? And then, wouldn't you know, as this journey for me has changed now over the last five plus years, suddenly Dean Graziosi starts showing up in my life. Suddenly he's gonna be a guest on my podcast. Suddenly he wants me to be guest on his podcast. Suddenly I'm like, can we talk for.

A minute after this?

I want to speak to you about something. He's like, yeah, I don't want to talk to you too. Next. Like, just to watch the domino effect of how rapidly it's happened. And it's always been there. Like, it's been an idea to me, but I didn't know. How do you get to Tony Robbins? Like, how do you work? I have no idea. You don't need to know the how. And this is what I want people know. You don't need to know the how. You have to have the vision. Like, whatever that vision is that comes to you and you and just keep saying, I don't know how I'm going to get there, but I just have the sense that I am. And wouldn't you know, a couple years ago, I'll never forget when I'm working out is when I have a lot of vision. And vision can just be like, what you're forecasting for your future, dreaming for your future, however you want to say it. But for me, it's these visions that come to me. And I saw Tony Robbins giving me his hand to elevate me to his stage. And I'm climbing up onto a stage, and I've seen it hundreds of times since. And now the only difference is now is that Dean's there with me, standing next to me when I have the vision. Now Dean standing next to me. And now I actually know Dean, right? And it's like you're just one step closer and seeing, like now I'm. I know that's. I already know exactly what it's going to look like the day that Tony Robbins hands me his hand to pull up and get me on that stage. And I know I'm going. I don't know how it's going to happen, but, you know, it's just that much closer now.

This is so cool. This is. This is God working in life. But it's miraculous like this. But it's it is. You've got to trust those visions and they're there for a reason. Your desire is because you can achieve it. Right. It's only. It's special to you because it's actually what you're capable of. And in your best version of you, when you're doing the things and in those moments you're actually deepestly connected to it. And now it's a full circle moment for you. This is so. I'm loving this, Heather. This is great. I'm so glad that this is turning out how it is for you.

And yeah, I could available to anyone. And you know this Tim. Like, like it's available to anyone. People are saying, oh, it's just because other. No, I ran away from this stuff for years. I stayed in a job. I wasn't happy and I stayed surrounded with people who weren't respecting me. So I wasn't feeling worthy. I wasn't receiving these opportunities. I was creating a lot of them. Yeah, I was making a lot of money. Yeah, I was like grinding and winning the awards. It's so different where I am in my life right now versus where I was 10 years ago. And on the outside it doesn't look that way. And that's why I'm so like on. I want people to hear this. My life is so much better now and things come together in such a magical and incredible way that they didn't back then. Everything I was doing was forced back then. Yeah. I still force a lot of things. I'm still a person that asked Dean if he could stay after and talk to me.

Right.

Like I still raise my hand and ask for what I want and put the work in. But there's magical things that are happening now that weren't occurring before. But the difference is I put myself for. I started believing in myself. I started making better decisions. I worked on my confidence. I got rid of the negative people. I stopped doing the things that I absolutely hated with people I didn't like and started moving into, okay, I'm going to step into the fear and go for it. Something's telling me I'm being called to do this. I'm scared to death. I don't know how it's going to work, but I'm going to trust that it will. And as I've made those really hard, scary decisions which have been amazing decisions, that's when things have started taking off.

Wow. There's people listening to this right now that are hearing this message, that need to hear this message how they. You're changing Thousands of life just with this method. Like, this is important. This is important. I think just everybody should go back and watch that last minute to remember that this isn't happening to Heather, because it's Heather who is here now. It's happening because she took the action. She believed in herself. She got rid of the things that weren't working in her life. And then you just took massive steps forward, right? Because you're still saying you're raising your hand, you're still saying you're pushing forward, but it's on the right things. And I, how I'm assuming that this, it just feels different, right? You feel different. You are different in this situation because you're connecting when you're forcing in the workplace and you're like, I'm going to win. It's all, it's all great, right? It's all determination. It's sheer willpower. But this, this is different. This is, this is coming from a different place. This is like, oh, yeah.

You know what's a great movie for anyone to watch that can illustrate this better than. I'm probably articulating it and I've just seen it recently is the big George Foreman. And what, It's a true life story. I think it's on Netflix right now. It's a documentary in George Foreman's life. And I remember George Foreman when I was a kid because I remember the Foreman Grylls, right? And basically what I see when I watch that movie is a man who just through sheer determination and hard work was like strong muscling just to win and make money. He became a champ. He lost it all. And the second time he came back, he came back as a child of Christ and in faith and in God. And what happens the rest of this man's life is mind blowing and incredible and nothing. I mean, it is. So he's favored, highly favored and blessed by God. And it's just, it's so incredible to see when he decides to turn to God and doing good, how incredible he does in the ring, in his life and in everything and, and how much easier it is. So that's a great movie to check out. That kind of illustrates everything we're about talking. Talking about right now.

Nice. The main thing here is then that this is available to anyone, regardless of your situation, is available now. You've just got to ask and go with the flight, like, go with the price. Trust the process.

Absolutely. And like, for me it was asking what do I do to start this journey in faith. And I had no idea. And I had to call the people and they were like, go to this church. And. And it was like, you'll be steered to the right places and right opportunities. And yes, they're not going to be comfortable and you're gonna have no idea what's going on. And you don't need to just start trusting that, that right direction and your intuition, intuition is going to speak to.

You and it will.

Intuition. That's the word I've been looking at. This whole show is about intuition, intuition and being guided. That, that's the. I wasn't sure where we're going to go with this. I thought it was gonna be more about the. This is, this is the best thing we could have done today. Like, this is the best. Like, at what point, though? Just one last question around boundaries, because I think, think a lot of people can understand conceptually the topics that we've hit our home on here and understand that they have to do the work and do put these things into play. But boundary wise, when someone's struggling to set real boundaries in their life, what, what could they do to. To follow through on that?

Oh, my gosh. I'll give an example. I wrote about my first book, Confidence Creator. My mother hates it, but when I was getting divorced, you know, parents don't want their kids getting divorced. So my mother would keep. Every time she'd call me, she'd say, have you reconsidered? Have you reconsidered? And finally I said, listen, I am not in a solid place right now. I feel terrible about this. Like, I was the one that filed for divorce. I said, I feel terrible. I'm second guessing myself. However, I know it's the right thing to do. You've got to, like, give me space in this. I said, mom, if you keep bringing this up, and this is a great example of setting boundaries, I said, I'm going to stop talking to you. Like, there's got to be a consequence for a behavior that you're asking for someone to respect, right? And so she's like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. The next phone call, she calls me, we're talking for a few minutes. She went right for the divorce again. I said, oh, that's my cue. I got to hang up the phone. Mom, I love you. Talk to you soon. So I started showing her, even though it's what you want to talk about, I'm telling you, I'm not in a good mindset yet to address it. At some point I can talk to you about it. That time is not now. And so Very suddenly, she stopped bringing it up because she wanted to hear how my son was doing, she wanted to hear how I was doing. So she stopped bringing up the divorce until enough time had passed where I was able to come from a place of strength and speak to her about it in a calm fashion. Right. So that's just a great example of there has to be some type of a consequence. If you're setting a boundary, you can't let people keep pushing that boundary. You're disrespecting yourself and you're allowing and you're teaching those people how to treat you. So teach them. I've got a hard line here. This is what it is. It's to protect me and care for me. I'm going to respect it. I'm going to own it. I'm going to be clear. My expectations with you. I'm going to communicate clearly and calmly. Are going to react to you. Right. When you react to others, you're giving them your power. I'm going to own my power. I'm going to come from a place of grace and strength and. And pride and. And respect me. And when you do that in a calm fashion, it's really hard to challenge.

Blown out of the water. Thank you. Like, speaking of boundaries, like, this is amazing, but I know I have to respect your boundaries now with time because you are very valuable person. Think things going on. I was going to ask what's next for you, but I think we all know what's next. You've manifested it already through this show. It's. It's brilliant.

It's so big, it's so exciting. I know it's happening. And you know what? This is a great example. The same woman's been doing my makeup for. For a year. She's like, on my team. I love her. We travel together. She's just, like, also a friend. And she knows every element of my life like thickest thieves. And today it was interesting. I got a note from Dean's team about something and I said, oh, my gosh, this note, this means something. I think something really big is happening today or next week. I just have a sense right now. I think this is all coming together the way that we've kind of been thinking. And she's like, you got a bottle of Dawn Perignon, get it out right now and put it on ice, because this is happening. And that was such an important thing. Number one, it's important who you share your truth with. This is someone who has my back. This is someone who's ride or die with me. Like. Like, I know if I share with her, she's not going to say, I don't think it's going to happen like that. You got to get away from those people and you got to get with these type of people your ride or dies. Because what she forced me to do was actually forecast that this is happening now. Even though I don't have a signed contract in my hand, by putting that bottle of champagne in the fridge and declaring it, that's one more step closer to this. This is happening. It's happening now. I'm not doubting it. I'm letting it go. I'm letting God and I can't wait to celebrate. So I would encourage everyone listening, whatever it is, believe, believe, believe it to be true. And. And watch how quickly your beliefs are going to come to fruition.

I'm blessed. Blessed. We are blessed to have. Have these words that you've spoken today, like from my heart, like, this has hit me just, just having you here and just sharing in the depth that you've shared. Like about boundaries and about villains. But more than that, about moving people towards the right way and having this frequency, even the last thing you just shared on the bottle of Dom, like putting a. That's putting a statement out and a frequency out to the world saying, this is happening, there's an end that, that matters. That's. That actually goes out into the universe and comes back to you with the result. So where can people find you? How can they stay involved? What should they do next?

Yeah, I'm at Heather Monahan Everywhere. My website's heather monahan.com. my show is Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan.

Bless, bless. Blessed. Thank you so much, Heather. This has been amazing.

Thank you, Tim. I appreciate you keep doing the good work you're doing.

I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear.

Start learning and growing.

Inevitably something will happen.

No one succeeds alone.

You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it.

Come on this journey with me.