#374: How I Get Through Tough Times & Find My Happiness with Heather!

Come on this journey with me each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. Fasten your seatbelt. I'm ready for my close up. Hi and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, so it's the end of the year and it's an interesting time, right? Because a lot of people are super excited for the holidays. The some people get really stressed out for the holidays. I'll tell you, being completely vulnerable with you, this is definitely a little bit of a trying time for me. If you've been with me, you're probably up to speed on this already. I lived in South beach for 17, no, 18 years. I don't even know. I owned a condo there for 18 years. Never thought about moving until all of a sudden I sold my condo and moved and I decided I wanted to rent for a year cause I didn't know if I'd like the new area. I ended up loving where I live so, so much. So I just wanted to renew the lease and stay cut to. The owner did not feel the same way. She actually wants to sell the place I live. So suddenly I found myself looking for somewhere else to live. Well, I have not found the ideal situation yet. So I just kept saying to myself, you know, you'll see the signs, Heather. Trust that the right opportunity will present itself just like it did last time. All will work out, all will be well. And I truly believe that. However, my son is a huge holiday guy. Huge, right? Like wants everything decorated is all in. All holidays, all the time. And so it's super important for me to provide an environment like that for him. The one thing he asked me was, mom, please don't have us moving around the holidays. Well, guess what? That looks like maybe the case for us right now. And so I didn't even realize it. It's been stressing me out. However, it's first world problems, right? Like of course we're gonna find somewhere to live and it's gonna work out great and everything will. But that interim period where you don't know what the outcome is going to be, you know, it's going to impact your kid in some ways in a negative way because it's going to be around the holidays and maybe I'm not going to have the tree up when I normally would, you know, all these like little first world problems, it's been draining me and I didn't really, I guess I didn't Think it wasn't like I threw my back out or there was some horrible thing happening. Right. I'm really ill. That I would understand that is draining and upsetting. But this is something that I guess I just didn't notice. I haven't been sleeping great. Which cut to if you are not sleeping great, forget it. Everything kind of just falls apart from there, right? Because then you don't look your best, you don't have the energy you typically would have. You don't have that spring in your step.

Right?

Like there's such a domino effect. Oh, gosh. Getting great sleep is priority number one. And so all these little things were kind of adding up. I wasn't recognizing it. And finally last week I started noticing I'm off. I'm just not. I don't have my energy the same. Like I'm not as excited as I typically am. And I'm telling you this because I think sometimes people see other people and think, oh, they're always positive, they always have it together. Everything's always going seamlessly. I'm here to tell you that is not my case. That is not true, frankly, it's not true for anyone. It's definitely not true for me. So I don't know. I've just been on this a couple weeks not sleeping great. I've been worried about the situation. Typically, if there's a situation ahead of me that I say okay, I identify a challenge, I see the timeline, I'm going to get ahead of it, I'm going to take massive action. But this isn't one of those things because we want to stay in the building that we're in. Part of it is having to wait and see what becomes available. And you can't control that. You can't knock somebody out of their condo or force them to rent to you. Sometimes you have to wait. And for me, waiting and being patient is not my superpower. Right. How about you? I don't know. It's definitely a challenge. And what's funny is yesterday I was in church. We're obsessed, my son and I, with our church and our pastor's amazing. And he was talking about it's the eight year anniversary of the church. And he sat us down and talked about how he and his wife had started the church eight years earlier in his apartment with a vision, just a simple vision he had, never knowing if it would come to fruition. And then he walked us all through what's transpired and what's happened over the last eight years, which is nothing short of Incredible, right? By the way. However, in any one moment, it doesn't seem incredible, but when you connect it all together, it's massive. And it's. What they've done is just. It's unbelievable. However, he shared with us how many times he's had to wait. He's had this vision and just had to sit with it that, you know, he did the work, he planted the seeds, he found the right people, but then things would come to a halt. And he even shared with us that right now they're trying to build a new location and they just didn't get approved again. And so he was so frustrated and upset. And I so felt his pain. And I want to share it with you today because again, on the outside looking in, he could have left it at how incredible they've done in eight years, because it is incredible that they sat with a vision, had no idea how it was going to come to fruition, and truly have above and beyond surpass that vision in eight years and help so many people raise millions of dollars. Impacted Lives are building a fourth church now. Like, it's incredible what they've done. It's a huge movement, far exceeding, I bet, whatever vision initially they had. But he shared that yet again this week, he just had another major disappointment and found out that yet again, he was going to have to wait on something he worked so hard for and knew was coming to not only be a vision, but materialize. And it didn't. And just how discouraging that can be. But the key is to pray about it, to let go, let God and wait. And when your vision is worth the wait, it will all be worth it in the end. So I guess it was comforting for me in some ways to hear that, to know that I'm not alone. So I want you to know you're not alone. If you've been waiting for something and you don't have that answer yet, keep the faith, keep doing the next right thing. And sometimes the next right thing, maybe it's just going for a run, maybe it's meditating, maybe it's helping someone else having nothing to do with that thing you're waiting on. And I will tell you, that's one of my keys for sure. As last week was going and I just started realizing, wow, I'm drained. I'm not feeling like myself. I'm tired. Oh, wow. This whole moving thing and not knowing where I'm going to put my son is starting to stress me out and it's sucking energy out of me. Okay, this is A problem. I've got to find a solution here. When I realized that, I thought, you know what? I don't have a solution for that today. Maybe I just need to go help somebody else. And so wouldn't you know, I got into my website, heathermonahan.com you can always inquire about anything, working with me, having me speak, whatever, at the website. That day, I received an email to my website, an inquiry, and it was a teacher, and he's so sweet, and wrote the nicest, kindest thing to me about his kids. And it was elementary school, and I'd never spoken for an elementary school at this point when I received this note. And the youngest I'd ever spoken for was high school. And that was. Gosh, that was interesting. Not what you would think it would be. These kids don't say a word. They don't give you much to work with because they're so concerned what everybody else thinks about them. So it was just a bizarre experience the last time I spoke for younger kids, and this time it was fifth graders. And so I'm thinking, oh, gosh, I don't know how I could add value to fifth graders, right? I don't know. But I saw that the man, it was pretty clear he was asking me to do it pro bono. He had described some of the challenging situations that these kids have, and it tugged on my heart, and I just thought to myself, you know what? I might not be able to fix my problem right now, but maybe there's something I could do to bring light or positivity or inspire these kids in some small way. I have no idea, because I had never spoken for young children. As I mentioned before, however, I am a mother, and I have raised a child through that age. And so I thought I could tell some stories and share some things that worked for him, and maybe they could help somebody in this class. And so, anyhow, I ended up. I said yes. I got on a call with the guy, I said, and you know what? Let's do it this week. Because I was leaving for a board. Board meeting, and I was gonna be gone for a couple of days, and I just thought, let's just get this done. I don't want to pile up more things that on my list of to do that, you know, I'm gonna have to figure out when I get back. Let's just do it this week. So he said, all right, let's do it. And I found out from him about the kids, what challenges they were facing, and I ended up doing a zoom with them. It's that time of year again.

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I was super proud of myself and I was also just proud of making time to help other people. Listen, got a lot of time. I get it. We're all so busy and spinning in circles. But I also know that when I make time to help others, I feel better about me. So selfishly, even though I'm doing something like pro bono speaking, you know, and not charging, I feel better about who I am after. And it's funny because I speak for incredible companies. I'm speaking for an incredible, huge company today. I'm so grateful and they pay me a lot of money to do it and really value my expertise and abilities and I'm so grateful for that. Without them, I wouldn't be able to do the pro bono work. However, I will say doing that speech for these fifth graders meant more to me than, gosh, any speech I can think of over the last year. I had a hard time keeping it together. I wanted to cry. I could see how excited, how special they felt. Like what a small thing for me to make time, whatever it was, an hour on Zoom and to see how it could impact others. So what small thing could you do that could impact others that selfishly is going to let you feel so much better about yourself? Because I promise you there's some way you can add value that can make a difference in somebody's life that's going to make you feel really great about who you are. Okay, so then I got this feedback from the teacher after which I just put up on my website, actually, because I'm so flipping proud of it and it meant so much to me. It says Heather and all caps with all these exclamation points. That was perfect. Thank you so much. The kids couldn't stop raving about you. How kind you are, how passionate, how contagious your excitement is, how inviting you are. It was great. One of the kids even said, you can tell she really cares. Heather, truly. Thank you. They were so touched by that. Okay, so bottom line is this. I got this amazing feedback from the fifth graders. Look how happy I am about it. I got amazing feedback from fifth graders, and I'm going crazy. Get it together, Monahan. Okay, so I just felt so grateful, so touched. I was so emotional. And it just reminded me, yes, things are not perfect in my life right now. Far from it. And sometimes it feels really hard, and sometimes I handle it well, and sometimes I don't. Right. Sometimes I'm not sleeping at night and I'm exhausted and I'm stressed out and worrying. And then other days, I'm in church and feeling super grateful and so appreciative for all that I have. And I'm trying to, you know, give back and do right and help others. So, like you, in some moments, things are going great. Other moments are not. But one of the keys I found that is super helpful is making time to help others. It really does make you feel better. And now I have that review to read on the moments when I'm not feeling so great. When things, you know, when you hit a rough patch because we're all going to do it. So put those reviews, put those feedback notes and moments of kindness into a file called Fam Love. That's what I do. And anytime I'm having a tough day, I go look at it and just remind myself, hey, there are great people out there, and you make a difference and you matter and you can help others. And when you step into that and own that, gosh, it's just like, I don't know, just reminds you the world's a great place and we can make it a better place by the choices that we make. Happiness is a choice. It's funny. I have a friend who's going through a tough time right now, and she sent me a text saying, hey, I'm always talking about me. How are you doing? And I'm like, I'm great. Thank you so much for asking it.

Things are great.

And she's like, wow, things are just always so great for you. You're just always so happy. And I wrote back, what? No, happiness is a choice. She had to take a moment to think about it. Because it's true. No, things aren't always great and flawless. However, I choose 99% of the time to find the win in the moment, to find the happiness, to find the review that I can go read to remind me that there are good people out there and that we can make a difference. So happiness is a choice. Choose happiness today. And in those moments that are rough, surround yourself by people that lift you up. Surround yourself with people that encourage you and remind you of other tough times that you faced and how you overcame them. So, okay, so I wanted to share with you a couple of different things. One, I just saw a post from my friend Melanie Borden. You know, Melanie and I have been doing a masterclass together. Our next one is December 2nd. We came out with a December 2nd event because so many people were locked out of our last event. We did. They didn't make it in time. Go to the link in my show notes for the masterclass. Sign up now. There's payment plans. It's one day only this time. Cause we heard two days was too long for some people. Last time we condensed everything into one day. This class is incredible. It is going to set you up for an incredible 2024. Don't wait for 2024 to make a change in your life. Set yourself up for success now and start making a difference now. While the rest of the world is out eating too much turkey, you can start creating the strategy, plan and implementing that strategy and plan to set you apart from all of your competitors and own a white space so that you can set yourself up to take off in 2024. Okay. I just saw my friend Melanie posted on social media that for the last year she had really been committed to her health and, and changing how she runs, her workout, her food, her sleep, everything. And oh my gosh, she's lost like £50. She looks incredible. She's got so much energy. The girl's killing it, right? But it didn't happen by chance. It happened because of change. Now here's this. Listen to this one. So the first, I think eight months, she did it all herself, right? She just said, I'm going to be disciplined. I'm going to count calories or, you know, whatever. I'm going to eat vegetables and eat healthy and not eat fast food or whatever, right? And stop eating out. You know, just basic changes. And start running. She incorporated running into her routine, which was huge for her. She lost all this weight. She, like, was very disciplined about her bedtime and getting eight hours of sleep a night. Just incredible, like, really smart choices. And it worked. Then she hit a plateau. We all can so feel this and understand this. We've all been there. Here's what she did differently, though. Instead of accepting it and saying, well, I've already lost a lot and I do feel better, she said, no, there's got to be someone out there that knows how to get over a plateau, that has expertise in some regard that can help me get through this. And so she found a woman who specializes in women with high stressful jobs in corporate America and tapped this woman. She had great expertise in it, had a track record of success, and started working with this woman. Now, this woman added 6am weightlifting to her routine, which completely transformed her body and kickstarted her weight loss again. She also taught her something I had no idea about, which is when you are a high stress individual with a high stress job, your body will fight to hang on to the fat because it's in fight or flight all the time. So she taught her that an important element for her was to learn to relax and to let go of stress. And the more she would do that, the weight would just come off. Incredible, right? Like, I wouldn't know that. I'm not an expert in weight loss, so why would I know that? But the key is you want to hire for and invest in things that are important to you and do it with people that actually know what they're talking about. And this is why I'm sharing this with you right now about Melanie, because she does it herself. I did it when I was writing a book proposal. I hired Peter Economy, right, and invested in him. He had written hundreds of book proposals. Go to people that know what they're talking about. Go to people that have been the places that you want to go, right? So for Melanie and I had this masterclass, not only are we teaching you how to brand yourself, how to own your brand, how to own and dominate on LinkedIn, but how to sell yourself, how to speak up, how to own your voice, right? To really step into your power. These are all things that we have done and done successfully and coach people on successfully. The reviews are all over the website. Go check it out. Check the link in show notes below. I promise you this is a masterclass you don't want to miss. Frankly, you can't afford to miss unless you're already dominating on LinkedIn, know how to sell yourself and are great with speaking up in meetings, giving presentations and rocking the mic wherever you are. If you're already doing that, then kudos to you. You are my people.

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Things that I am asked about all of the time is about my skin. Yes, I'm 49 years old, and yes, I do care a lot about how I look. I'm not gonna sugarcoat that. I'm just gonna let you know it's true. Right. In some ways, when you look better, this is just me on the outside, you feel better internally. Right? Like, that does put a spring in my step when I love the dress that I'm wearing or my hair came out good that day. But really, when my skin looks great, I mean, the world seems a little bit brighter. Well, wouldn't you know, I started working with One Skin as a partner. I guess it's about six months ago now. And what's interesting is this. First of all, I've never partnered with a skin company before. I exclusively use these products, by the way. This is truth, truth. Like, I swear to you, One Skin is the product in the line that I use exclusively, and it works. And what's funny is, my girlfriends were saying to me before I started this partnership, oh, my gosh, the skin on my legs, it looks creepy. It's starting to look different. The skin on my chest, it's, like, thinner. Something's not right. Like, what the heck is happening? And we're all in our late 40s, right? And some of my friends are in their early 50s. And suddenly your skin's just looking a little differently. Well, I don't know how old you are, but let me tell you, if you have any concerns about your skin and wanting to reverse the aging process. Yes, this is the only product that research shows reverses the aging process. It's incredible. And I am just a living testimonial, but I've been using it now, I guess about six months. There is no crepiness on this girl right here. 49 years old doesn't exist. One skin gets rid of it. That was the thing that I noticed the fastest, was actually the skin on my body changed the fastest. And I think because I wasn't so deliberate and intentional, previously with using any type of product regularly until I committed to the one skin routine. And then of course, the peptide that they have, their proprietary science is incredible and reverses the aging process. So I had a benefit. Within the first couple of weeks, I knew this was working. It was incredible. Now over time, I saw it on my face everywhere. Like it's, it's, it's a game changer. And I'm sharing it with you because I feel like it's my job to tell you the good, the bad and the ugly. Like this is a hack that's gonna set you up for success. Now you don't need to listen to me about it. Actually, this is so interesting. One skin shares lots of success stories with me just so that I can be up to speed on what's going on. Well, wouldn't you know, this is one that just came out. Seven year age reversal with oso One Face. And that's the peptide in one Skin. A validated approach to skin health. There's a biohacker out there. There's a lot of these guys, but this is one Nick Enger. I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing his last name correctly, but anyways, he's a biohacker, a founder of a longevity blog. And he dives into scientific topics to help people build personalized and affordable approaches to wellness. There's a lot of people that do these things. But here's what I like about what Nick did. He conducted his own experiment saying that like, obviously there's tons of research out there that oneskin's put out that you can see it's science backed up. Check out the link in show notes below. You'll see the before and afters. It's all oneskin's research. This guy was like, I'm gonna go do it myself and I'm here for it. So he does, he does before and after pictures. He's questioning does it really reverse the aging process? And wouldn't you know, he did a visia scanner. V I S I. A scanner which is allows you to I guess really dig into the technology and show if there are quantifiable metrics, pore size, skin redness, texture, you know, goes into like at a clinical level, what's happening with your skin. And he went before he started using the product line and then five months after using it, and in this self experiment he found that it turned back his age seven years in five months. And I truly believe it. Like, I'm not questioning it because I've been Using the product line for six months. What did he find? Shockingly, according to the scanner, OneSkin OS01 reduced his aesthetic age by seven years. Most valuably, the scanning unit was not within our direct justification for the drastic improvement. We're going to look into the details and what changed. Okay, so this is so interesting. It literally gets into wrinkles, texture, spots, UV spots, and reversing these things. So it says, does the scan agree?

Yes.

In the before image, a significant number of individual smaller wrinkles around the eyes were detected. In the after image, Nick's skin is unwrinkled around his eyes. While there was likely an impact on the wrinkle algorithm from change in angles, it's very unlikely this is a source of such dramatic improvement. I mean, this gets into the nitty gritty in regards to the before and after, but I mean, you'll see in the before and after pictures, it's so clear. I am telling you, I'm living it, right? So here's what I'm doing for you today. Click the link below. You're gonna get my 15% off discount. I highly encourage you to do the subscription. I'm on the subscription for every product that they have, and there's not a lot of them. There's a face wash, an eye cream, a face cream and a body. That's it. Well, now they just came out actually with their sunscreen product, which is amazing too, so I'm using that as well. But I mean, this peptide is a game changer if you're not happy with your skin, if you want to reverse the aging process and like Nick, turn it back seven years, literally. This is a guy went out on his own, paid for this experiment on his own and found out it reversed the aging process seven years. Look at the science, look at the research. It's the only product out there that is scientifically proven to reverse your biological age. That's crazy. That's game changing. I want you to have your best year yet in 2024. Why not start it now with the best skin that you've had in seven years? Click the link in show notes below. You're going to get my 15% off when you do that. I highly suggest signing up for the subscription when you do. You can cancel anytime, but that way you get the 15% off forever. Yes, you're welcome. Okay, real quick, I want to get into just a quick note and then I'm going to let you go because I can see that I am going way too long today. But this was something that I wanted to share with you years ago, when I used to work in corporate America, I really wanted to be on the board of directors at that company. And I would pitch myself all the time, ad nauseam. Right. I knew in my heart of hearts, I'm like, I should have a seat at that table. Well, number one, there's so few women on board seats, it's disgusting in our country. But I knew I warranted one, not only because I was a woman, but because I had such in depth knowledge of the company, the marketplace, the industry we were in. I had a unique perspective because I was in the marketplace, I was doing the work, I was executing, I was leading the team, and I had been doing it for so long, I knew I could add value and I knew that board needed my voice. There was way too many old white men sitting at that table who were disconnected from the day to day that business. And I knew that if I could get a seat at that table, I could help impact the shareholders in a really incredible way. I was so passionate about it and I was so sure. Cut to. I never got the nod and I'd always get the runaround. Oh, Heather, you're doing so great. And what you're, you know, we don't want to distract you or. Yeah, great idea. We'll bring that up next time.

Sure.

Next quarter we'll re evaluate. It was just a runaround. I was getting blown off. And the more I would get blown off, the more frustrated I would get. The more frustrated I would get, the more impacted my confidence because I was allowing someone to brush me off, blow me off. When I knew I deserve more. I knew I deserved to see that table. Well, wouldn't you know, Cut to. Now that that woman ended up getting promoted and she ended up firing me, I realized she was blocking me all these years, but I didn't know it at the time. I should have left that company years earlier. I would be years ahead of where I am today had I done that. So live and learn, right? When your gut's telling you something's wrong, listen to your intuition. You know, you know what's right, you know what's wrong. I knew I was getting the run around, but I allowed it to continue to go on. Well, cut to. I started my own company, as you know, in 2018, and things were going great. I had a new book out, Confidence Creator at Trump Trump for number one on the business biography list. I googled how to sell books and it said speak. And I was speaking all over the country. I delivered my TEDx that got promoted to TED. I interviewed Sarah Blakely live on stage in front of thousands of people that went incredibly well. Like, my speaking business was taking off. And then the pandemic hit and everything stopped overnight. And that's when I launched my coaching program. Wouldn't you know, one of the individuals who was in my coaching program actually had reached out to me because he wanted to mentor me, but I had flipped him a link to say, no, I have a coaching program. If you want to get in, get in. And he taught me a great lesson, which is, anyone can switch between being the mentor or being the mentee. The most talented and confident people can. You should be able to allow yourself to be coached or to be the coach in any moment. And so he was humble enough to say, okay, I'll come into your coaching program. And he did. We developed a great friendship over the years. And wouldn't you know what he was actually doing in some ways was interviewing me for a seat on the board of the company he was the CFO of. And over time, he let me know that. And then over time, he let me meet the CEO, and then over time, he let me meet the other board members. And then over time, I was nominated to that board. And now I'm on the board of HealthLink Corporation. And I'm so grateful for that opportunity. So after all these years, back in the old days, that I wanted to be on the board, I knew I warranted that job. I was pushing and pushing and pushing. I was getting the run around and crickets. It never happened. I walked up from that table where nobody wanted me, and a table found me that is full of people who are excited for me to be there. And so anyway, last week was our board dinner, our board meeting, and it was such an incredible event, and it went so well. And I'm so grateful for the people that I get to sit on the board with. And the work that we do is incredible. Well, I got to ride back with my friend, and he's a board member as well. And we were talking about how we had met years prior and how much our relationship has changed over the last few years and how close we are now and what great friends we are, and now that we've served together on this board for almost three years, it's incredible. And the difference and the changes we've seen and the impact in this company and how excited we are for the future, the best is yet to come, because it is. And we were laughing about how it all started, and then he made A comment to me, he said, you know, you've position yourself to be one of the most valuable board members that we have. Heather, I was so grateful for that compliment, number one. Number two, I didn't see myself that way. I see myself as adding value for sure. I work really hard to make sure I do that and help any way that I can. But I also see the other board members and what was funny is I always saw the value and maybe you see yourself this way. Like we see how we add value. Other people see you through a lens that could be a little bit different. And you know, I always see the value add that I can bring to the table around sales and sales leadership. And that's, you know, what I did for 25 years for him. He said, yes, it's great and we so appreciate that you bring that unique perspective to our board. He said, but also the people that you introduce us to. My network was the thing of value to him which I really took for granted. So you may be missing a really important part of the value others see in you. Be open to that. Be open to putting those rose colored glasses on because I certainly did. My friend George basically gave me his rose colored glasses and I looked in the mirror with them on and thought, wow, I don't need to be one dimensional. I don't need to be just one thing. Maybe there's many different ways that you add value and you're just not seeing, seeing it from that perspective right now. Put on the rose colored glasses that somebody else sees you through and you're going to enjoy the view a lot more. So I was super grateful for that perspective that he gave me, for that compliment that he gave me. I received it with gratitude and it's just wild how much things can change when you're sitting at the right table. Surround yourself with people that encourage you and are champions for you, not that want to hold you back. Life is far too short for that and this year is almost over. So if you don't want to find yourself stuck in the same place you are right now, choose to make a difference. Choose to invest in yourself. Choose to get rid of negative people. Choose to surround yourself with people who are all about going to that next level. I of course I'm going to suggest my masterclass December 2nd. Click the link in show notes below. Check out the site, look at the reviews. It's 100% money back guarantee. That's how much I stand behind this course. You want to change the game for your 2024? This is the event you need to attend. Just go to the link and see what other attendees have said. Until next week. Keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're going to hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. Come on this journey with me.