#390: The #1 INSIGHTS From My Journey To Success: Introducing "Who Knew In The Moment Podcast" With Phil Friedrich

What actions are you taking today to move yourself closer to that goal? Building that pipeline, building that next potential client, that next potential deal, that next potential close, that next potential opportunity. All of it happens as a result of building that momentum, and none of it happens today for tomorrow. Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, you're going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. Fasten your seat. I'm ready for my close up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back with me this week. Okay, so it's a new year, and of course I want to try something different for you. So I was recently on a podcast.

Called who Knew in the Moment with.

My friend Phil, and I thought this.

Would be a good start of the.

Year reminder to think of your pivotal moments that got you to where you are today by sharing with you some.

Of mine, starting with my very first.

Entrepreneurial decision at nine years old to start my paper route.

Just remember, you get to create the.

Life you want, the goals you want to achieve.

What do you want your next pivotal moments to be?

When you reflect again at the end.

Of this year, you've got this.

I'm rooting for you.

And for a little inspo, here's my conversation with my friend Phil.

I asked you to try to find your passion.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of who Knew in the Moment, the podcast. I'm your host, Phil Friedrich, and today I'm honored to have Heather Monahan with me. A little bit about Heather. She has quite the story, but to start with, I mean, at one point she was a C suite executive, top 50 speaker, an amazing podcast that she runs, and she's author of Overcome youe Villains. And one of the quotes that she has that I really appreciate and I think you're going to hear throughout her story is a great way to grow your confidence, is to shine the light on shame you've experienced. So, Heather, thanks so much for being on.

Thanks, Phil. You said, I am the author of one book. I am the author of two books. Do not leave out confidence. Creator. Come on.

That's on me. She's got it, though. Get both of them. No. Well, so, Heather, to start your story as a young girl, you decided, hey, I want to try and earn and make some money. And you get into delivering papers. So talk a little bit about, you know, finding that inspiration when you're young and wanting to, you know, start earning funds.

Phil, that was not inspiration. Right. So I grew up poor and so when you grow up poor, it's like a blessing and a curse. When you're in it, it sucks. You see all these other people that have these things that, you know, you just don't have access to. And at that age, you don't know the wherewithal, how to figure it out. I didn't. But my mind, the way my mind worked, thankfully, was like, oh, hang on, how do I get out of this situation? How do I get over there and get into that situation? Which P.S. we made it so we got. However I really was thinking about it at that really young age. And so the first thing I remember thinking to myself is like, go make money, Heather. And So I was 9 or 10 years old, I don't remember, and I got my first paper route that morphed into, you know, busing tables at a diner and then working fast food restaurants and then waitressing and then bartending. And then ultimately, what I didn't realize at the time is I was training, teaching and developing my skills in reverse with salesperson. Right? So by the time I graduated college and took my first sales job, I was an expert. I had done it for 20 something years. And it's so funny, I look back now, I won every award at the Gala winery. I was the youngest brand manager of the state. I mean, crazy things happened for me.

Sales.

And everyone would always say, you're so lucky. Oh, my God. Nothing about that was luck. What it was based on was I started working when I was 9 or 10 years old and I, through trial and error, taught myself how to sell.

Yes. Now, something that's intriguing to me as people have one life experience and then they're able to radically change their life experience, but they have kids. How do you instill that element as you are now a mom, when you, you know, your son has the disability to grow up in a different environment than you did, but you still want him to learn certain probably principles and things that you had to learn growing up. So how do you do that?

Wait, first I have to tell you something funny. So you just reminded me of something. When I was earlier in my speaking career, I would run things by my son. You know, like you look when, anytime. And for anyone listening, if you have a presentation, whatever, it's so helpful to, whether it be your family members or people you love, be like, hey, listen, give me 30 minutes right now, I'm going to get up and do a talk. Tell me what you think. I would do this to my child relentlessly. Dinner time was like mom's Doing a talk again tonight. So I gave a talk for him one night, and I was doing it the next day for a charity. And it was funny because in the talk was all about raising money to help inner city youth in Miami. And I was on the board of this charity, so I was trying to get real personal with the audience. So I had to bring in my own personal story, right? Because you want to get people emotionally charged about it. So I'm telling the story of how I grew up poor and what it looks like when you grow up poor and how limiting it can be, and how my son's listening to the whole thing. Listening. And at the end, I'm like, how was it? He said, I have a question. And I said, okay. And he said, am I growing poor, too? And he had no idea. And I'm like, buddy, living in a high rise in Miami beach, facing Star Island, Jake's house is hardly growing up. So I just. I'll never forget that. Like, it just falls on deaf ears when you don't know the kids have to worry about money in his life. So it is funny to your point, that's a huge concern for me, right? Because as I mentioned, growing up poor sucked in the moment. It was a blessing in the end. Right. I have this relentless drive that I can't shake to this day. I'm 49, and I've achieved a lot of success in life. And people will say, why don't you slow down? Why don't you go on vacation more? And I'm like, there's so much to be done. You know, I'm constantly driven and focused on outcomes and getting things achieved. So. And that truly, I truly believe so much of that is based in growing up with very little. So with my son, obviously, we take a different approach. I didn't know, like, you know everybody when you're a parent for the first time. I only have one child. I'm a rookie at this whole parenting thing. I research it, I talk to people. Like, what are the best ways to figure it out? And people will give you all their opinions and strategies. But for me, what I learned is living who I am and who I want him to know he has the possibility or potential to be the best way I can ever teach my kid. Phil, you know me. So, like, you know what I'm about, you know what I preach, what I speak about, what I write about, what I do, podcasts about, whatever. I truly live it. And I live it in my household. And so my son. And this is where I think it's so important to really be the authentic who you are, because your kids are be the ones who are going to pay the price as a result, positive or negative from it. And so my son sees me when I hit rock bottom. He sees me when I lose a huge deal. Like, I don't hide that stuff from him. I tell him at the dinner table, like, I'm still waiting on hearing back from these guys. I haven't gotten that deal locked up yet. You know how important this is to us. Like, I bring him along in a journey so he can celebrate the wins, but also see none of it's handed to me. It's all about, you know, what mom did. Mom sent a life size cut out of herself to them overnight. Let's see what happens when they get it today. He's like, why would you do that? I'm like, I need to be top of mind with these people. And he's like, oh, that was brilliant. So anyway, cut to. I share all the things that I go through with him. He watches what happens. He comes to my events, he sees me speak on stages, right? He comes to my book signings and sees people tell me their story of how my work changes their life. Cut to. This is a crazy story. During COVID he's a big athlete. He couldn't play sports. He was on homeschool. It was horrible for him and many children. Of course, being isolated, he didn't do well in school. He had to go to academic camp in the summer. Nightmare. So he had to fly to New Hampshire, live in a tent for a month, otherwise he was going to have to stay back. So he's like, I'm going to go do it. I'm going to get it done. I'm going to make it work, mom, don't worry. So he goes, I get a phone call one night. They're like, we're sorry to inform you your son's in the emergency room. He was playing basketball today and he broke his arm. Gotta be kidding me. So I'm jumping on the next flight possible the next morning to go get him. And I'm thinking, I'm taking him home. He can't write, he can't take a shower, he's living in a tent. And I get up there and he walks out of this tent with no bags or anything and gets in the car with me, kisses me and I say, wait a minute, where's all your stuff?

Yeah?

And he's, I'm not coming home with you. And I said, what do you mean he's like, I didn't come this far to come this far. I'm going to complete this thing, whether I have a trash bag on do errands around here with one hand tied behind my back. He said, I'm going to figure it out, mom, because I'm not a quitter, and I'm not going to give up. I lost it in that moment. I was crying my eyes out. I never thought he had that internal strength within him, but he does. He didn't have to grow up core to say, I'm not a quitter. Nothing is going to hold me down. He finished that program. He was awarded the number one writer in the camp, which was shocking because that had never been a thing for him. He came home and he got into healthy eating as a result of that experience because he met people who ate. Like, it was such a beautiful experience for him that truly shaped and developed him. And I know a lot of people would see that as a negative. You know, whether you're living in a tent, doing academic camp and it's horrible, whatever, and you break your arm. For him, it was like this incredible experience that really changed and developed him into such an incredible young man.

I love it as people, many people say more is caught than taught. Right. So there it is. You are living proof what you're doing at home. He's picking up on.

You have your moments. Well, another great one was, my son is big into the NBA. He's going to play for the NBA. And it's been this way since, I mean, he's three years old. And, you know, he's not the tallest guy in the world. He's 511, he's 16. But, like, there's kids he plays against that are 6, 4 right now in inner city Miami. Right. And so he doesn't have all the advantages some of the other people have. He has other ones. He's always said, I'm going to the NBA. I'm going to mvm. Okay, absolutely. Like, you got to make it happen. What does that look like? You better figure that out. I don't. I've gone to the NBA, so you got to figure that on your own. So I'm always just challenging him to, like, figure out, what does that roadmap look like for you? And it was so funny. One day I went into his room and I see this. Basically, it's like this vision board of going to University of Miami and playing for coach Al and him at, you know, in the NBA, and I'm like, what is this on Your wall. And he's like, oh, that's my vision board. And I said, what? He's like, I look at it every morning when I wake up and every night when I go to bed and reminds me all the things that I'm going to be achieving very soon. And I said, who taught you how to do that? Because I actually don't have a vision board. And he said, I taught myself. And I was just like, oh, my. Like, this is like, he's living it. That was a really proud moment, too, that I didn't tell him to go do that. He took an initiative and figured that out on his own and just wanted.

To go do it.

I love it. Now, talking about taking initiative, you mentioned earlier that, you know, through different jobs, you end up in a sales role with the winery. And that's going well until it's not. And then you go to a. And then you go to a chance networking event and meet the next opportunity. So talk a little bit about how seemingly something that could be super stressful, like, oh, my gosh, I can't. What am I going to do next? Turns into an amazing opportunity if you're willing to put yourself out there.

Okay, so I'll say, what happened? I was doing incredibly well. I was one of the two women on a team of 100 men, and I was number one in the country. I was. I ended up getting promoted. I was 22 years old. I get promoted to brand manager for the state. I'm killing it. And now I'm working for the head of the whole company, and he starts sexually harassing me egregiously. I didn't understand. I remember thinking, like, is this my fault? Why is this married man sending, you know, things like this me? This is crazy. I don't know what to do. And instead of. I wasn't very confident at the time. So instead of like, I'm going to go get a lawyer, I'm going to come at this guy and tell him no. I just ran away. I'm like, I'm leaving. I kept a journal because I had a great other manager when I was my year before, who was a wonderful human, wonderful man and was so committed in my success and developing me, cared about me. He was like our mutual friend, like a Jordan Montgomery. Just like a good, good person, right? And truly cared. And so I had shared with him what was going on. He's like, journal everything, document everything, and just. Just keep doing the next right thing. That was his advice, which is great advice. I took that journal. I went to the owner of the company. I said, I want you to know something. This man is unethical and horrible, and I'm leaving your company because of it. You need to do something. And he said, how much money do you want? And I said, I don't want any money. I came here because I'm leaving. I'm quitting. And I just thought you should know. And he said, what? That journal. And I said, I'm giving it to you. And I gave him that journal. It's so funny now that I think back to that day, and I'm proud of myself. I did the right thing. I'm sad that I didn't push it further because the guy didn't get fired. It took years to get fired. He did it to another person, and that's when he got fired. I'm disappointed that somebody else had to experience what I did, and I could have changed that. However, give yourself grace. I didn't have the knowledge I have now. Left that job without anywhere to go. I was living with my boyfriend at the time from college. We'd been together for years. And I was, like, moping around the house, like, what am I going to do? I got to figure something out because I'm super driven and very aggressive. He's like, oh, you'll figure it out. Don't worry. And he had an event one night, and so he and I went to this event. And one of the things I know to do is, like, walk around and introduce yourself to people. You never know you're going to meet anywhere. And so the more you do that, the more comfortable you become at it. And so I was walking around introducing myself to people, and I met this one guy, and we start chatting. He ends up sitting at our table. And so I'm chatting with him, and he said, you know what? You should work for me. I'm like, you can't afford me. And Google didn't exist this back then, by the way. Really. Give me a number. And I said, $80,000. And I was 23 at the time, and I thought that was a huge number. And he said, done, start tomorrow. And I thought, all right, so I'll start tomorrow, because I didn't have a job. Come to find out, the guy is worth millions of dollars, have private jets galore. Anyways, he ends up becoming my partner within a year, and he still, to this day, is one of my dearest friends and a close mentor.

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So talk a little bit about that, because I know you said there were certain elements of you that maybe weren't super confident yet, but yet there is an element of confidence to be able to, you know, pursue people, have conversations with folks. So talk about how one person could be confident in certain aspects of their life and yet insecure or not confident in other aspects.

Yeah. So for me, I've pretty much always been confident in business. Doesn't mean in every business situation, but in business, I know I'm going to win in the end. Because one thing I learned early on, if you outwork everybody else and you do the right thing, like, you tell the truth, you're an ethical human being. You care about the outcomes for your clients. That's really the magic to it. If you do those two things, you'll beat anybody else. So I knew I had that with me. I know I'm a good person. I know I'm gonna outwork everybody else. So I don't ever feel like, oh, I'm screwed, you know, in this situation. I just know, keep going back to that. Listen, I've learned a lot more and better strategies since then to layer on top of those. But if you have that foundation, you can feel pretty safe in that. However, doesn't mean in your relationships or in dealing with people who are supervisors or ahead of you, like, you can lose your confidence or in dating or at the gym or, you know, there's so many different ways. Confidence is not like a static thing that I hit it over here, I'm gonna nail it everywhere. It's gonna ebb and flow based upon where you're at and where you're pushing yourself to go next. And so, yes, I definitely felt confident in those type of situations where I met that man who ends up giving me that job. But when he moved me to Saginaw, Michigan, I didn't feel confident at all. And I was taking over his company and living in a new environment, in a new arena and meeting new people. Personally, that was incredibly hard for me. Right. So the funny thing is, I go back to what I did feel Confident in, which was back to work. So I would just keep, like, pushing myself back to work. Go back to work. You're really good at this. And what's interesting is the more time you spend in arenas where you are confident, you can start parlaying that confidence out to other. Like, Heather, you can figure this out. And I do talk to myself in the third person like this. And it works.

Helps.

There's actually neuroscience behind it. I did a podcast episode on this. But I'll say, heather, you know how to get here, and you know how to achieve this level of success. You can figure out how to do it over here, too. Don't sell yourself short, you know, and, like, give myself those pep talks so that I can figure out ways to build confidence in the arenas where I'm not intrinsically confident.

I love it. Now, you mentioned you get hired, and then that is going well. One day the relationship side is not going well, and you get asked to hop on a plane and go check it out.

Yeah, that was crazy. So yet again, it's not rejection, it's redirection. I had on away for a weekend. I've been living with my boyfriend for, I don't know, four years. We've been dating for seven years. I know. Long time. And so I thought we were getting married, and apparently he did not. And so I went away for a weekend. I got home, come to find out he'd had a big party and had cheated on me. And cheating is, like, not. I know for some people, it's not that big a deal. Whatever. Not in the cards for me. I don't do that. So I was out and leaving and moved in with a girlfriend of mine and never wanted to see him again. I was heartbroken. I was disaster. I went to work wearing my heart on my sleeve like, no makeup on, in tears. And my sweet mentor, boss that becomes my partner says to me, what happened to my girl? Like, who are you? Where's that? And I said, you know, I've been cheated on, and he's happily married and whatnot. And so he's like, come in my office. Come talk to me. And we sat down and talked. And he said, I'm really worried about you. I said, me too. He goes, you know what? I think a great idea would be for you. I'm like, what? He goes, hop on a plane and never come back. I'm like, yeah, that sounds great. He said, oh, no, I'm serious. And I said, well, what do you mean? What does that look like? And again, Phil, I Had never thought about leaving Worcester, Massachusetts, where I grew up, like, maybe Boston, to, you know, be in the city. But never would I. All my best friends were there. Family, major change. He said, I'm gonna offer you a partnership. I'm gonna make you a very wealthy young lady, and I am going to make sure you never have to see that man again. And that's all I. Here was the last part. Yeah, I don't. Again, that was what was driving my decision making at the time. Had he not cheated on me, I would have never, ever taken this risk or made this decision because I truly was driven by. About getting away from him and just freeing myself to move on. And so I said, okay. In that meeting, literally in that day, the next day after, I thought this guy cheated on me. And so he said, all right, pack your stuff up, but I'm not going to tell you where you're moving. And I said, okay. But I did trust him, right? Like, obviously, we had a relationship. We'd worked together for over a year. He's a wonderful person. I knew his family. And so he and I hopped on a plane. He did not tell me where we were going. He dropped me off in Saginaw, Michigan. I was 24 at this point, maybe 25. And I took. We bought a company for $25 million. And I walked in as the owner. He left, went home. And I mean, we talked on the phone 90 million times a day and advised me on what I was doing and whatnot. But I ran that company, and my job was to accelerate revenue and sell that company. And in under three years, we sold it for $55 million, which is.

Wow. Wow. So as you're growing your skills, you're growing your talents, you're growing abilities. Once again, you said, you know, being a worker is part of your driving force. So it's not as if you were going to retire from that. Right. It was time to move on to the next deal, and you find a new company. Things are going well until they're not. Talk a little bit about the new company and how everything seemingly is going well for a period of time. And then, you know, due to different circumstances, relationships just don't work out inside the firm.

Is not everyone's life like this? Like, oh, you're killing it, you're killing it, you're getting killed, you're killing it, you're killing it, you're getting killed. I don't know. It's crazy, right? So this is the theme of my life. So the company that acquired us in Saginaw, Michigan that we sold to put a non compete, non solicit on me and my partner, meaning they thought they were going to keep me living in Saginaw, Michigan after I sold this company. It was ridiculous, but we want sell, so we're like, sure, no problem. But what that meant to me was I couldn't work with my partner anymore for it was like a five year window or something. I said to him, and to your point, I'm going to work. I couldn't sit on the beach. I look back now, I'm like, why didn't. What was wrong with me? But anyhow, I couldn't at the time. And so I said to him, if I can't work with you, where should I go? Because at this point I'm maybe, what am I, 26, 27? I'm still really young, so it's not like I'm ready to go start my own company. I wanted to learn and develop more and have more experience. And he's like, you should go work for a friend of mine. And so he sent me to a publicly traded company, media company that was across the US Much bigger than his company. I interviewed with this gentleman's son who is the president of the company, and he said, I don't have anything open but a smaller role, much smaller than what you've been doing in Naples, Florida. I can't pay you anywhere near what you were making. And I said, I don't. That's not of concern to me because I'll get in and I'll show you what I can do. And then you're going to find a way for me to do something much, much. And he said, okay, great. And so I moved to Naples, Florida. I took over their operation in Naples, Florida in under six months. I turned it into the number one market in the company. And I asked him to go to lunch. We sat down for lunch. I pitched him this idea for me to be the VP of sales for the whole company. He thanked me for my efforts and said, please get back to work. You're doing so well in your role. Were not interested in that. And so I started dialing for dollars. Found another job in Boston. And I was going to go back to Boston. Now I've been gone for a while. I was over the guy. I'm like, I can go back to Boston and be at home. I gave him one more shot. I met with him. I said, have you thought about my proposal? He said, yes, I have. We're not interested. I said, great, this is my Resignation. And it's so key always go face to face with people when you have a really important discussion. And so give me a minute. He ran out of the restaurant, came back five minutes later and said, I want to offer you the newly created position of VP of Sales. And I said, where did you go? He said, I had to call my dad. And it was great reminder that even though you think, you know, that someone's an ultimate decision maker, qualify it. Never take a no from someone who can't give you a yes. And so being the VP of sales and over the next decade, I was promoted three more times. I became the chief revenue officer of the company, and during my tenure, more than double the company's revenue. We were doing hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue. I was crushing all of my goals. We were crushing our competitors. And I was named one of the most influential women in radio. And three weeks later, the end of 2017, I was fired. When the CEO I had worked for for 14 years became ill and decided to elevate his daughter to replace him. And she fired me immediately.

Talk about a roller coaster. Things are going well, right? It's not performance based. The things it wasn't.

Well, I mean, I was killing it. And I was being noticed and recognized nationally for it too.

Yeah. So when you're in that position, I think it can be really easy to lose control of emotions. Right. And to find yourself in a deep, dark spot and then not do anything about it. However, after dealing with that for a period of time, you said, I better make a post, because you know what? I just gotta let people know. And from that post, there's an interview that ends up getting to happen. So talk a little bit about that from your journey, like going through that, you know, dark spot. I mean, you know, hey, were there good mentors and friends in your life that were checking on you? Did you feel isolated in that moment in time? And then what ended up being the catalyst to actually take the risk and share that story out with the world?

Well, it happened so fast. So I was fired. I got home and I realized I went under a weighted blanket. Like I was a disaster and crying. I was very upset. And 24 hours later, I'll never forget. I remember thinking, no one's calling me. Like, I've been in this industry for two decades. I'm known. How does no one call? And I've done favors for thousands of people. Something doesn't add up. And I remember thinking, this is similar to when I got divorced. If no one knows, you're single, they're not going to ask you on a date. If nobody knows I'm available and just got fired, they're not going to call me. I need to let people know I've been fired. And I knew that was an unconventional approach, right, that most people don't do that. But I thought, if it worked with divorce, then it's going to work with this. That was just the way my mind worked. So it was 24 hours after I got fired, I decided to put up a post on LinkedIn and Facebook. I don't even know if Instagram was a thing back then. And so posted, I've just been fired. If I've ever done anything to help you, I need to hear from you now. Right? Like, I told them what happened and then I asked for help. And that post went viral. Millions of views. And when I tell you, thousands of people reached out to me to offer help. And one lesson I learned in that, number one, asking for help is something strong people do for anyone listening. Don't be afraid to ask for help. You know, people don't know you need them unless you tell them. So be deliberate and be intentional. And everyone needs help at some point in time. There's wrong with that. I'm proud of myself for doing that. But the other thing I learned and realized is when people reach out to you and extend the olive branch, they want to help you convert it in the moment. Things move so fast in our world that a week later you think like, oh, I'll get back to them in a week and maybe I can act. No, they've moved on. They have their own problems, their own. Maybe now they're asking others for help convert that opportunity in the moment when someone reaches out. So I started doing things like I was getting so many messages. How can I help? How can I help? I just started saying things like, can you leave a review on my wall of my work? Can you intro me to someone that, you know, that maybe is looking to bring a C suite exec on? Like, just random things. I would start asking for throwing, you know, just to try to convert some of these. So during this process, and this went on for a few days, I get a tweet from Froggy from the Elvis Duran show. And for anyone listening, Elvis Duran has one of the largest radio shows, millions, 10 million listeners a day or something. Huge. Astronomical. And so Froggy tweets at me because now this post is now on Twitter, which I didn't even put it there. It's on Twitter and he tweets at me, hey, if there's ever anything I can do for you, just reach out and let me know. So I tweet back, great, get me on the show. Yeah. I didn't know what I was going to say. Didn't know what we would talk about. I just knew this. If I stay in the small bubble that I've always been in, I'm going to see the same people and opportunities I've already seen. If I want opportunity beyond that and ideas and potential and contacts beyond that, I've got to break out of that bubble and get into a larger arena again. I don't know what that looks like. I don't know if it's going to work. And so he said, okay, he gets me on the show. In a month, I'm flying out to New York to go on the Elvis Duran show. I'll never forget I was at the hotel bar the night before, eating alone, sitting at the hotel bar, eating cheese and crackers. Like, what am I doing out here? What am I gonna say? I hope I don't fall walking out. Cause they have getty images. Like, it's a whole thing. And I saw a tweet from Elvis Rand, Heather Monahan's coming on the show tomorrow morning. And so I walk out on that show. I'm nervous. It's the biggest show at this point I ever done in my life. I have no media training. I was always on the back end of the business side, not on the other side.

Yeah.

And I got on that show, and he starts interviewing me, and it was amazing. And we had this amazing interview. And halfway through that interview, he says to me, you're writing a book? And I said, obviously, I'm writing a book, but I wasn't writing a book. He spoke this truth and this conviction and this vision that he had into me. And I took it and ran with it, and I held myself accountable. And I said, yeah, and it's going to be out in the next year. I was not a literary major. I'm not the smart one in my family. I'm the sales one. Like, it went against everything that I had been told I was. And I had to get rid of those labels and break those limiting beliefs. And I jumped on a plane and I Googled, how do you write a book? And it said, just write. And I thought, well, I've been fired. I have nothing else to do. I might as well start writing. And so I did.

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So there's a lot that I want to unpack here. One of them though is, you know, this is a couple of times now where I've heard you say somebody had a strong belief in me, maybe even before I believed it was possible. Right? You get dropped off in Saginaw, Michigan, and he said, all right, go run it. You're like, well, I believed in myself to be successful in business. But as for running a company, maybe I wasn't right there for it. I had somebody say, you're writing a book, of course. And you're like, yeah, sure, I'll write a book. So talk about, you know, having those people in your life that are willing to instill confidence and belief in you. Maybe before you've either recognized that that's a potential for you or before you believe that it's possible for yourself.

I definitely didn't know I could write a book. I had to Google, like, can anyone just write? Is that even legal? I had no idea. You know, these were not beliefs I build. I accepted these beliefs that were being thrust upon me by somebody that I thought was of value. And to your point, with my old boss Jeff, like, if he's confident just dropping me off here, there's got to be something to me that means I can do this. Yeah, it was huge for me. And again, people are different in regards to what they need to create confidence within themselves. For me, that validation of having someone that was ahead of me say to me, oh, clearly, like, it was so obvious to them. I decided to accept that and say, okay, that's going to be that obvious to me. Doesn't mean it always was. Right. I still struggled with it, like the self doubt, the imposter syndrome, all these things. But I would remind myself to go back that even small things like I'll never forget, maybe a Year after getting fired, when I had a book out, the book was doing well. I'd given a TED Talk, you know, some of these things were starting to happen, but I hadn't made it. I remember one of my old employees, one of my managers from the radio business, the company I got fired from, had called me, and he said, I just want to call you to say, I always knew you'd make it. Wherever you went, whatever, you'll always be successful. And I held onto that conversation for a long time because it reminded me on the tough days when things aren't going well, when you're not getting a deal with HarperCollins, when you're being told no, when so many negative things have happened, it is a roller coaster to get through those low moments. I hang on to those conversations. It's like, you know what? That kid noticed that in the long, long Friday, I got to remind myself, heather, don't forget, he sees that you can succeed. Like, I still remind myself of those, you know, the Elvis Duran conversation. So. And then it starts. That ability innately within you to foster that belief within yourself without having it triggered from the external world, I love it.

Now, in regards to that, I think something that you've clearly shown and demonstrated that you do well is you show up day and you give it your all, right? And I think that's when people will make a comment like that, like, I knew you'd have success regardless of what you ended up doing, right? And it's because they saw consistency in that. Hey, when Heather shows up, like, I don't have to worry about what version I'm getting. Like, she's here, she's going to get her job done. So maybe talk to somebody that's listening right now that they've got good days and they've got days where maybe they're slacking it, you know, and not bring it every day, but just know somebody's always watching, right? And that next promotion is based on what you're doing today. The next opportunity or door that's going to open is based on somebody viewing what you're putting forth today.

Yeah, well, I mean, it's also like. I mean, you look at numbers. Numbers doesn't lie. Data doesn't lie. Like, I always want to go back to the things that we know are factual. For me, sales is really like, that's what my real expertise in, in life is. It. I always go back to anytime I'm forecasting projections or I'm looking at revenue goals and, and, and what are attainables and pacings and whatnot. Data. To get to something, you have to go back to 90 days prior to. You have to go back to 120 days prior to one year prior to. It doesn't happen overnight. There's no difference whether you're building a personal brand or, you know, you've got quotas for this month and this quarter, it's all the same. It goes back to what actions are you taking today to move yourself closer to that goal. Building that pipeline, building that next potential client, that next potential deal, that next potential close, that next potential opportunity. And all of it happens as a result of building that momentum. And none of it happens today for tomorrow. It's the seed that you plant today is not the harvest that you're going to reap today or tomorrow. That's going to be reached. Could be seven years now. A great example of this is in 2020. Well, in 2019, I launched my podcast, had no idea what would happen. Right?

Yeah.

All I do is support other people on that show. I don't ask them for anything. They come on. I want to highlight them. I want to highlight their gifts, their books, their events, whatever they're doing. And I want to give value to my listeners. Essentially, I'm losing money on the deal at first, right? Being a producer, I'm paying to promote it, but I'm not making anything. But I'm doing it because I'm like, this is something that I feel called to do. And I feel like this is part of what I should be doing. I have Dean Graziosi on my show. He's promoting this new event him and Tony Robbins are doing. I highlight them, I promote them. We're like high fiving virtually on the thing. You know, we hit it off. Okay, bye. See you later. I don't see him for a few years and wouldn't you know, this year his team reached out to me. Hey, Dean's launched a show he'd like to have you as a guest on. Only because he met me on my show.

Right.

So here, three years later, unbeknownst to me, this is happening because of something I did back in 2019 when I launched my show 2020, when I had him on my show and promoted him and asked for nothing in return. He has me on his show and I said, you know what, tell me what you're working on. Just asking if I can help him with anything. Actually, I have another event coming up. Do you want to bring me back on your show? Like, love to have you back on. Love to Promote you help add value. He's like, you know what? There's something special about you. I'm like, oh, thanks. Well, let's talk about more the next time I see you on the next Zoom. The next Zoom we get on. He's like, heather, there's something here. I'm like, I think so too. He's like, let's set up a Zoom after this for you and me to brainstorm how we can work together. So I had him on my show to highlight him in his event with Tony Robbins. He then asked me for a meeting to how can we start working together? And that's how we've started. I just did a course for him and Tony. I've done some virtual events for them. So all these things that are happening that people see, and they're like, oh, my gosh, she's on the biggest virtual stage in the world. Millions of people watching. Yeah, it looks great. This stuff started back years ago, and I had no idea this was going to materialize in the future. That's why it's so important to keep taking those chances, keep doing that next right thing, Keep adding value to different people and not asking for things in return, but instead say, I know I'm planting the seeds today that down the road are going to yield a strong harvest for me.

Boom. I love it. Now, in regards to the speaking side, speaking started because you were good at what you were doing as a career, and so companies were like, gosh, if you can run a sales organization, you can hit these numbers. We'd love to have our team listen to you. And so you're doing things for free and. Right. You're just helping people out. And then eventually you've done a few of these, and the question of, well, what would you charge to speak? Comes up. And once again, you do some research and you throw out a number. So talk a little bit about the beginning of public speaking for you and messages you were delivering and then how that really grew and transformed to getting into the paid speaking world.

Yeah. So this is an important part for people to understand, because a lot of people look at me and say, heather got fired six years ago, and she just fel into becoming a top speaker in the world. No, that is not true. Here's what really happened. I started leading sales teams when I was 23 years old, as we talked about. So when you the sales team, at least once a week, you're standing in front of a team of people giving a talk. That's reality.

Right.

So it's your job to engage them. It's your job to add value, to train them. It's your job to deliver results and have specific outcomes, whatever they may be. I did that. I'm 49 now, right? So I've done that for decades at this point. This is what I've done. I put the reps in on the regular. Now, during that time, when I became VP of sales and EVP and Chief Revenue Officer, I started taking massive stages, not paid. You know, my company would send me, hey, there's a tech conference. They want someone from the organization to be there. We want you to represent the team. So I would start taking big stages that weren't necessarily about, you know, my teams anymore, but to add value, to teach and represent the company I work for. So I took some, you know, national association broadcaster stages, like some really thousands, thousands, thousands of people. And so I got an opportunity not only to take smaller stages and bigger stages within my organization, but now as an industry, right? So I started seeing different audiences, how I could impact different people, giving different speeches, giving different talks. And I kept getting feedback. You're a really great speaker. You're a really great speaker. And I remember thinking, gosh, I love doing this and I wish I could make money doing it. But I didn't paid because our industry didn't pay on speaking. It was expected. And the point I want people to take on this is pick your head up out of your industry. If you love doing something, start Googling it. Start talking to different people outside your industry about it and learn more. There's a way you can turn that into business. I promise you, don't give up until you figure it out. I would have left my career years prior to getting fired and just gone into the speaking business. That's what I love to do. I had enough expertise, I had enough experience to do it. I just didn't know it existed.

Right.

I didn't know it was possible for me. And so when I got fired, I wrote the book, as we know, and I googled how do you sell books?

Speak.

It said you should speak and go on podcasts. And so I started cold calling companies. Can I come in and speak for you? I'm going to help elevate your team, giving them more confidence so they can deliver more revenue, they can innovate more. Yeah, Heather, come in, come in. And then finally one day, somebody said, well, what do you charge? And I said, hold on. And I googled speaker fees. And I'll never Forget, it was 2018, Gary Vaynerchuk showed up and it was $300,000 for a 60 minute keynote for him. And I remember thinking, forget the books, I'm getting into speaking full. So that's when I made my move into really focusing on launching my speaking career.

So two things that you've said in this conversation, Ray, and I think it's very counter the way people often feel. They say, I know my worth and I want to be treated fairly. But you said first when you know you got hired after you'd sold the company, hey, I know you're not paying me what I'm probably worth today, but I'm willing to take that to prove to you and get the opportunity. Speaking engagements, I probably should be getting paid to do these, right? Or I'd like to at least, but I'm willing to do them even without getting paid for a period of time because I know I'll prove my worth, right? And eventually I could be able to do that. So somebody listening right now is saying, I'm kind of on my last straw and you know, I'm enjoying doing it, but there's no monetary value out of it, right? Haven't found a way to monetize this thing yet. What's your encouragement to them? I mean, how do they step out? How do they feel confident to ask for money, right? Hey, I've been doing it for free for so long. Can I even ask somebody to pay me at this point?

Listen, everything is a negotiation and in exchange someone's being sold. Make it the other person, not you. And when you start approaching life that way, I find it to be like entertaining. It's fun with, oh, I wonder who's going to be sold in this exchange with this person. Is Phil going to sell me to come on a show or am I going to tell him that I'm not available? So often people are like, sales is a terrible. I'm not in sales. Yes, you are. If you're a living, breathing human being, you're in sales. So why not embrace it and get strategic about it, right? So you can ask for anything that you want. It's up to the other person if they're going to be sold on it. It was funny. I had a call today with a partner of mine that I work with and someone reached out to me on LinkedIn and said, hey, was wondering if you come in and do some consulting for my company for 2024 and laid out, you know, all this huge engagement. And she and I were talking about it today because I wanted to bring her in. It's so big. I can't do it with myself and my team. I said, I think I need to bring you in on this deal. And she's like. I said, so let's go over some questions first, like what your questions are, what my questions are so I can circle back with him to see if we want to move forward. And she's so funny. She's like, well, I want to know what the budget is. I said, what do you care what a budget is? And she's like, what do you mean? That's one of my first questions. I've never asked someone what their budget is. And she said, well, why would you not ask what someone's budget is? I said, because I'm so focused on what people want to achieve if I can get a handle on what success looks like them, what their goals and vision are, and I know I can achieve that for them. Money doesn't matter because people want find money. They will pull money, they will borrow money to get it if it's that important to them. So often we just get hung up on, well, I couldn't ask for that. Well, you know what? That's not really up to you. You should ask for as much as you possibly can and begin the negotiation there. You might be shocked how often people will say if you've approached it the right way and you sold them on the idea of this vision that they gave you, they have, and all about you guaranteeing that you're going to help them achieve that, suddenly money is not an issue.

Yes. Now, you also mentioned the podcast and you mentioned Gary Vee and you found out speaking, but you did some backdoor ways to make sure that he would come on the show and be one of the first guests or the first guest on the podcast. So talk a little bit about the cleverness that was the wine company and, you know, parlaying that onto your show.

Yeah. So I just believe in go big or go home. So I thought to myself, I'm gonna do a show. Everyone's telling me it's gonna fail. Everyone's telling me I' too late to the game. I thought, well, then have the biggest guest in the world on. And so he was like the premier podcast guest at the time in 2019. And so I took a Google Alert out on him. Whenever you want to know what's going on with someone, take a Google alert out on them Tab one on yourself. Be the first one to get informed on what news is saying about you. It's super helpful. And so I was getting an alert message every day about what was going on in his life. I was also DMing him. Like, I was commenting on his post, like, listen, I do all the things I don't just try one way. Like, I spray and pray. And so I get this note that he's launched this wine company with this guy from Boston, Trouty. And so I thought, I bet trouties easier to get to than Gary Vee. I'm gonna go find Trouty, and here's what pays. That I have a personal brand and that I Show up on LinkedIn. On the regular people know I'm not a crazy lunatic. They can go to my profile and say, well, that's Heather Monahan. She's like, successful, smart, whatever. They know I'm a real person. Please invest in your personal brand on LinkedIn because it's going to pay you dividends. You cannot see it. And this did for me. So I sent him a DM from LinkedIn. I said, hey, just read an article on you that you're launching a new wine company with Gary Vee. Super excited for you. Hope it's going to do really well. Listen, I was in the wine business for a number of years. I was the youngest, you know, and I gave him some of the, like, things that I had done. I launched this brand with the success, whatever. I had success. And I said, I'd love to tell you the tips and tricks that I learned and what pitfalls to avoid that I made that definitely set me back so that you don't make the same mistakes I made. Let me know if you want to jump on a call. Nothing expected in return. Just want to help out another Bostonian. And so he writes back, yeah, can you talk today? I said, sure. So we get on a call. I give him an hour of my time. I didn't charge him. I just said, like, listen, I just want to help another person out. At the end of the call, he said, oh, my gosh, you are incredible. I can't believe you just did this for me for nothing. He said, if there's ever anything I can do for you, Heather, just name it and it's done. And I said, great. I'm launching my podcast, and I'd love to have Gary as my first guest. Can you secure this for me? And he's like, oh, my gosh, well played. Okay, let me get back to you. So the next day, he called me back. He's like, I talked to Gary. Gary wants you to make an order for the wine business. He wants you to buy some wine. I'm like, yeah, okay, fine. I'll buy some wine. So anyways, like, listen, there was more steps that had to go through it, right? It wasn't a layup, but I ended up getting him as a guest on my show. And here's the importance in the gatekeeper. Whenever I meet someone, listen, you're not going to be talking to Gary Vee every day for the rest of your life, but you might be able to talk to his assistant every day. And so I made friends with all the people that I got connected with from Trouty Trouty intro me to everybody else in the Gary universe. And I made really good friends with his. His primary assistant at the time. So when I got to New York, I walk in the office, I was excited to see Tyler, not Gary, right? Because I know Tyler, and, like, I'd send him things and he's like my guy. And so I ran over to give him a hug, and when I was up in his ear, I said, I have one question for you. Who's the ultimate decision maker to get a guest on Gary's show? And he's like, I guess it's Gary. And I said, well, then how can I pitch myself to him? And he said, okay, here's what you do. When you're on air right now and we're recording and everything is on footage and tape, ask him on air. That way he can't ever get out of it. And I said, okay, thank you. And he's like, yeah, go for it. I'm behind you. Like, you can do this. And so I had his number one guy that's with him 247 telling me how to sell him and get it done. And so at the end of my show, while the team was recording, I pitched him and said, gary, I'd love to be a guest in your show. Could I add value to your audience? Blah, blah, blah. And he's like, yeah, definitely. And we had the whole thing recorded. And so I took the clip, sent it back to my guy Tyler and said, tyler, go ahead and set this up for me. And they did.

I love it. I love it. So for you, you know, all of these worlds start really going on top of each other, right? The book is important to the speaking engagements. The speaking engagements open up doors in the podcasting. And I think for a lot of people, they view them as separate silos, right? Like, well, this is one thing. And really, when it comes to personal brand and what you're trying to accomplish, they're all interconnected, right? And they're all leveraging and Bringing the other one up. So how do you now at this point, continue to scale? Right, And I think that's probably a skill you learned as your different businesses and sales teams you ran grew. Right. Like, it's one thing to do it at this level, but it's another thing when you have events every day, right? Or all of these events. So how do you grow and how did you scale?

Well, I mean, listen, there's plenty of things you didn't see that happened that didn't come to fruition, right? So I had launched a clothing line with Perry Ellis International, multi billion dollar company. It failed. Right? Like there's a skincare line that I launched the failed. Like, there's so many. I'm constantly testing, trying, and moving forward with different ideas. I have a shoe product line that's sitting over there like, that I'm not selling right now. There's so many things I've done. People oftentimes only gravitate towards success, like the podcast and my being in my books, whatever. But there's so many other things that I have a whole third book, like outlined and ready to go, that I'm like, I look at the roi, I'm like, I'm not making my most money or my most impact right now for my books. Even though I might want to write the third book, is that really where my best time is spent? Right. Like, constantly looking at stepping back, don't be in the middle of the course, step back from it and view it and say, I know that I think that that could be good for my ego or that could be great or whatever, but is that really where my time is best spent? Or I always ask God, this God, please enlarge my territory, allow me to impact and relate to more people so I can help more people on your behalf. Right. If that's the mission of why you're here is to help more people and do more good in the world. What does that look like? So I'm constantly praying about that every single day. And I'm open to it. Doesn't have to be my way. It doesn't have to be my third book. Because I want to be a New York Times bestselling author. I started thinking myself partnership is probably a way I need to start exploring. Even though, like I said with Perry House, like, I've done some things with bigger things and it didn't work out. Just because that didn't work out doesn't mean it can't maybe partner with John Maxwell or with Tony Robbins or like some of These different people. If there's a way that I don't need to be the lead guy on it, I can come in and support and add value to other people, but then reach that many more people and help people that maybe aren't being helped yet. Like, that's an answer to me, too. Like, I'm open to it all, and I'm open to whatever God's plan is.

I love that you said that. And I think something that's interesting and, you know, I've noticed in my life, and I'm sure you're gonna be able to speak into this, and that is there's parts of your life where saying yes is probably the most important thing you can do, because you just don't have a lot of doors that are open to you when you're starting in something. But then all of a sudden, there almost becomes this pendulum shift where it's like, I shouldn't say yes to as many things as I'm saying yes to. I need to get better at saying no. But you almost have this guilt about saying no because you're like, well, I've only ever had this opportunity because I said yes to so many things. So how did you. Or how are you finding that balance of saying yes to things that are important, but yet knowing it may not be a priority? And so it might be best suited for me to actually say no to this.

Listen, desperate is so unattractive, right? And so that goes for in business and partnerships and romantic relationships, whoever is the most needy for the deal is the one that has no leverage. So, yes, to your point, when you're in your early 20s, that you're seeing us, everything, and you are desperate, right? You're like. Like, I'll take whatever. And that's par for the course. But along the way, you have to start kind of redefining that and reframing it for yourself. That, yeah, maybe it's going to be harder if I just have to build it myself. And I don't have access to Tony Robbins or, like, some of these big names, because I certainly didn't for a really long time. But you know what? I'm not going to be desperate for it either. I'm going to keep creating value, adding value, and as I do that, I'll attract those right people towards me. So the bigger your personal brand gets, the bigger territory that you can reach, and the more your reputation grow, the more results you get and garner for people. Yes. People are going to be more attracted to you and want to present you opportunities you're going to have to start saying no. You only have a limited amount of time in the day and you have to look at where is your time best spent. And that answer can be different for everybody, right? Like for me, I'm working out every day, I don't care. And I understand like that means I'm going to walk away from some partnerships, some opportunities. That's fine to me. I've learned in my life if I don't put myself first, take care of my like the most important partnership I have is with me. Listen, there's sometimes when I'm traveling like crazy and of course I'm going to say I'm in a window right here, I'm going to suck it up and I'm going to get through it. But I've learned through trial and error, I don't just let it go on and on for months at a time. I might do that for a week. I definitely put myself first and I think that's the most important partnership. And yes, you say yes to always. But then you have to constantly be reevaluating. Marketplaces change, trends change, industries change, people change, opportunities change and they can change on a dime tomorrow. Right? So the thing is what I'm learning, don't get in bed with somebody or against some long term contract unless you're like your heart so in it and you're like, I prayed about it. Like I know this is what I meant to be. This is exactly where I'm clear on it. If it's not that clear to you, don't do something that's going to lock you up because you don't know what's coming tomorrow. And I've learned that the hard way, right? Like I've locked myself up with different deals and opportunities and non competes and legal agreements that then take me out of play for other opportunities. So, so be mindful, you don't know what's coming yet. Like anticipate and expect the best thing and the biggest thing is going to come. But until then also rely on yourself that if it doesn't, you're going to continue to build and build and build and attract and do that next right thing. But just don't be desperate for it. I would always say don't be desperate for something like that. You have to have that in order to make it like go back to that number one, your number one commitment is to you, your number one partner is to you and keep doing that next right thing for you.

I love it. Now you've mentioned a Couple times. You know, faith, prayer and things like that. Has faith always been an important part of your life, or was there certain seasons of your life where that became a more important piece to you?

Yeah, I mean, definitely for me, there's seasons where I have leaned so much more into my faith and then seasons where I haven't. Like, I remember getting divorced and I was like, it was awful. Like, you're supposed to go into the Catholic Church. There's all these things that I just. I was so angry about, like, why can't they just be understanding?

And.

And I remember moving a step back my faith, thinking, like, this is, like, doesn't feel right to me. Right. So there's different. And then I remember my son came to me during COVID and said, we need to strengthen our relationship with God verbatim. He said that to me. And I'll never forget. I messaged John Gordon and I said, where do I take him? In Miami, of all places, VU Church. And it was. It was so, like, I was led to message John Gordon for that question, and immediately he's like, my friend runs v church. Go. And we've been going to Rich Wilkerson Jr. And his church VU since. And it's the most incredible spiritual, religious experience I've ever had in my life. Never was exposed to anything like this, you know, prior to. And I had been in many Christian churches before, but never anything like this. So some of it's divine timing, I feel like. And sometimes you need to not have something for a while to be so grateful for it. So I'm like, like, yeah, there's been plenty of times my faith hasn't been as strong, and I've been in the Catholic church and the more traditional. I grew up in that environment, and I'm not a part of that now. Now I'm very much a part of the Christian movement and spiritual movement, and people need to figure this stuff out for themselves. I don't like this idea that it has to be one way. And, you know, that's the only way God is going to love you. I believe God is love. And like, and. And just be open to it. And, you know, if you have questions, read the Bible. Like, go back to the one original piece of work in the world that exists. Go and read the Bible. Like, if you have questions, you don't need to listen to someone preach you or tell you. Figure it out for yourself, and you will and pray about it, you know, but don't do what people tell you you have to do. Do it like you're led or called to do. And those right people will start showing up in your those doors will open, those messages will be answered and and have faith that you'll figure your way out.

Well, Heather, you have done just that. I want to say thanks so much for sharing your journey and your story and all the amazing work you're doing. I mean, once again, between speaking your book, podcast, you're doing social media content, right? I mean, you drop good nuggets all the time. So thank you so much for coming on, sharing your story and your journey and excited to continue to watch it. And I mean, four or five years from now, we're have to do this again and highlight book number three, maybe four at that point. And who knows how many other businesses you'll have started by that.

Well, I can't wait to see what you're doing by then, Phil. It'll be exciting to watch and I'm grateful that you have me. Thank you.

Thank you.

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