#401: Listener Favorite- How To Get Motivated When YOU Aren't Feeling It, with Heather!

Come on this journey with me each week when you join me. We are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. Fasten your seatbelt. I'm ready for my close up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, first of all, I just wanted to mention something that I just had this revelation myself about, which is how quickly we can forget things. It's terrible, but. So let me give you an example and hopefully you can relate to this in your own life. I threw my back out right before I got fired. I was 43 years old, right? So this is five years ago. I threw my back out. I was losing my hair, I was a hot mess. And it was because I was working alongside with someone that hated me and was making my life miserable. And I wouldn't walk away from it. So she ended up having to fire me. Cut to the point of this is, I was in so much pain when I threw my back out. It was insane. That was worse pain than having a C section and giving birth. No doubt, for sure. And it went on for a really long time. It wasn't something that healed really quickly, right? So. And I am sure anyone that's listening right now that's had back pain or back trauma understands us. It's probably. I mean, it's definitely one of the worst things, right? So to that end, I remember I had to stop working out for a while. And I am one of those people that working out for me is like my saving grace. It is what I look forward to every day. I get so excited about it, Right. That's something that really makes my day and makes me feel amazing and proud and uplifted. You need to have something like this in your life. It doesn't have to be working out, right? For you. It might be meditating or gardening or I don't know, drinking your morning. And the belt of me, it could be whatever special and resonates for you, but for me, it's working out. So I had to give it up for a while. The doctor said I could not work out at first. I could only go to pt and that was devastating. I got big time into meditation during that time. Cause I had to find some kind of other outlet, right? And then I researched every flipping way under the sun that I could heal my back faster, right? Like I was ordering every concoction on Amazon. Electrical stimulants to heal your back done overnight. It's in my house. I'm Always one of these people that's like, there's gotta be a solution. There's gotta be a hack. And there always is. P.S. okay, so let's just put it out there. There always is a hack and there always is a solution. You just haven't found it yet, right? So I found a couple of little gadgets like that that definitely help. They help get rid of some inflammation and literally found this stuff on Amazon. And then after a little while, my doctor said I could start going to yoga. And yoga totally helped in a huge way. I'm kind of disappointed in me because I have not been into yoga now for, gosh, a year and a half or maybe even more. So not good, Heather. I need to get back at it. But anyhow, so the point is this is that. So I figured out these hacks, and then I started learning new things. Like, I had not been into yoga before, and then I started loving yoga, right? All the. Like, this was all new to me. And the point is this is that there's always a solution. You just don't know what it is yet, number one. Number two, there's things out there that you're just not familiar with that you might love. Like, I loved yoga, and I'm sitting here and I literally forgotten about it. I gotta get back at it. And so it's on us to constantly be looking and learning and understanding and sometimes remembering, like, I'm remembering yoga right now, I forget about things. Cut to. All right, so it took a few months before my back healed and then I could work out again. I've never pushed myself to the level I used to work out. I used to run, like nine or ten miles a day. I mean, I was super hardcore doing, you know, boot camps. And I don't do that kind of stuff anymore just because I decided I don't ever want to go through something like that again. So I've never pushed myself to that level again. But I still work out like a madman and love it and do so many fun things, but I definitely spin more than ever because it's low impact, right? It doesn't. There's zero risk of getting injured when I'm spinning. So, again, as you get older, you make different choices. So cut to. After I was injured and took a few months off. And your body's gonna change, right? So I lost a lot of muscle during that time. And so when I got back to running after my back injury, which was probably, I don't know, eight months or a year later, the first time I ever even Ran a mile. I injured my Achilles. Not terribly, but I kind of pulled it. And so I started doing research into why did that happen. And what I learned was, it's really all about your calf muscle. But I didn't know that. I have super skinny chicken legs. They used to call me chicken legs when I was a kid. And so if I'm not aggressively working out my legs, like lifting deadlifts and lifting from my calves, they get small. So during that time when I threw my back out, my calf muscles were probably non existent. And then I go jump on a track somewhere and start running. Like, you know, I'm, you know, prepping for the Olympics. So not shocking that I injured my Achilles. And again, I didn't tear it, but it definitely I couldn't run for a while. Again, cut to. If you've been watching this show or listening to the show for a while, you know that a little over a month ago, I got hurt and I had to stop working out again for a month. Well, as I've over the last week, started working out again, the doctor said I could work out. I been spinning, of course, first, but then the other day I just said to myself, oh, my gosh, the weather's amazing in Florida right now. The thing I would love to do is go for a run. So I did, and I went for a run. And of course, the next day, my Achilles is killing me. And I had forgotten what I learned last time, which is when you take time off from working out, at least for me, I lose a lot of muscle and my calves aren't really big right now. And I look down and see exactly why I reinjured my Achilles. So all I'm trying to do is remind you, oh, my gosh, when you go through these situations, whether you get injured or you go through a hard time, remember the last time it happened to you to jog your memory about what the things are that worked and what didn't work. I wish I had done that before I went running out the door. What I would have done is for a couple weeks, lifted first for my calves, strengthened my legs so that I would be in a better position to run without any injury. And now instead, I'm sitting here icing it. But first, world problems, they're gonna get better. And of course, there always is a solution. And it's so funny. Today I found a really good video online researching the Achilles injury. How can you help heal an Achilles quickly? And I had never seen this. There's a way that you can massage your own Achilles which is supposed to help, of course, ice on and off and elevating your leg and taking it easy, low impact, of course, these things we know, but. But this whole thing about massaging my calf a certain way and doing this certain wall stretch, which I knew about to, but I didn't do. So most of it's stuff I already knew, but I just gotta put into practice, right? How often is that the case? We know what we should do, we just gotta make ourselves do it. So the minute you get the slightest injury, you're like, woot, red flag, pump the brakes. I'm going down a different route here. I am stretching, I am icing, I am not pushing myself. And I'm back on the peloton today. But that's okay because it's still amazing. And I'm so grateful. Having lost months before of working out, I still feel really grateful. And I think that's so important too. No matter what challenge you're going through, to know that it's temporary. I had a bad day the other day and my son had stayed out too late and I was on such little sleep. And I was just frustrated, you know, when you're like mad, but for nothing. You know what, he's 15 years old. When I was 15 years old, I was jumping out windows, my parents home, right? Going to parties. So I can't get mad that this kid wants to go to a party. And I let him go. And then he stays out till midnight. I'm frustrated cause I'm tired. However, c' est la vie, right? I'm glad he has great friends and he has such a fun time with his friends. So I was just frustrated the next day and feeling bad for myself and in a funk. And I couldn't go for a run because I had pulled my Achilles and the things I wanted to do, I couldn't do. And I had to stop myself and say, okay, wait a minute, this is temporary. Tomorrow you're gonna feel so much better. Cause you're gonna get a good night's sleep tonight. Number one, that is game changing, literally. So I'm gonna think more clearly. I'm gonna be in a better mindset. And you know, I need to stop this little pity party I'm having. This is helping no one. So I paused, I reminded myself this is very. It's gonna be short lived. It's one day where I'm not gonna feel great and I can get through it and I can focus on what I'm grateful for. And that's what I did. And you know, focused on my health and my healing and the fact that my son has friends and he gets to, you know, be with them and, you know, just life is so good and just like the littlest things. I love flowers. I'm always getting fresh flowers from Whole Foods and I have the most beautiful flowers right now and so I'm grateful for those. Right. Like you could be grateful for so much. It's just a choice and taking that minute to reflect upon it. So I hope today you take a minute, if you're having a hard day to remember that this is short term, it's going to pass. And there's a lot that a good night's sleep, some water, eating healthy can help you in 24 hours completely turn your day around. I promise you that. And things can change so quickly. Maybe you've forgotten some of the solutions that are available to you. Maybe you haven't researched enough to find out there's a big one out there you haven't found. Or maybe you haven't met the right person yet who's gonna give you the keys and the answer that you're looking for. So it is all out there. It's on us to find it. So I'm hoping you're looking for that next solution for you.

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Over the past couple of days I've had a bunch of interviews for the show and I'm super excited. We have some amazing episodes coming up. One of them that you're going to hear in the next couple of weeks is from the founder of Waze, who sold his company to Google for $1.1 billion. And I'm always talking about finding solutions. He's always focused on what the problem is and it was so interesting sitting down with him and hearing this reverse engineering way he approaches things. So I thought it was kind of a cool concept for all of us to apply to our lives, to our challenges, to our business situations or business concepts or platforms. How can we flip it and look at it the other way? And it's really eye opening when you do it, so I can't wait for you to hear that episode. But one of the major takeaways that he reminded me of that I hadn't thought of in forever ever was how important the first 10 to 60 seconds are when you meet someone. Literally what he Explained to me, and I'd forgotten about this. I knew it years ago when I was in my 20s. I remember it was like one of the first thing you learned in sales, right, was how you appear and present yourself and walk into a situation and smiling and hand extended and how your shoulders back and like walking in with confidence, you know, and a strong energy of who you are that is critical to hitting it off with people so much. So he shared this with me on the show, and you'll hear it. He meets with private equity and vc, venture capitalists, so PE and VC groups, people who are funding startups and entrepreneurs. And he asked them this question, which I thought was super cool. He said, you know, how quickly do you know when a company or an entrepreneur is someone that you're going to invest in? And he asked, I mean, 100 of them. He works with all of the biggest PE and VC firms. And he said, almost unequivocally, they all have the same answer by the moment they're opening the door and walking through it. As soon as they see them, they know how they hold themselves, position themselves, their smile, every, like, the confidence they have, they know immediately. And when I challenged him on that, I thought, well, that's kind of crazy. It sounds more in regards to, like, how someone's dressed or if you know how they have their hair, that's awful. And he said, wait a minute, is it? He said, no, I don't think so. He said, I think it's about gut instinct and how someone responds to initially meeting someone. And I don't think that's awful. He said, heather, I think that's factual. He said, let me ask you a question. If you're going to go on a date with a guy, and how soon is it from the minute you actually meet him in real life, do you know if you're going to like him or not? And I said, well, that's really fast. You know, right away, right? And he said, oh, you do? Okay, so what's that about? I said, I guess it's gut instinct. He said, okay, another question. How about this one? How quickly do you know if you're gonna hire someone when you're interviewing them? I said, oh, my gosh, the first minute. I know, it's very clear to me, very rarely would I unwind an answer or an opinion. If someone sat down and I loved them immediately, very rarely would I be wrong on that. And I said, okay, so that's your answer. And it just. It was a great reminder to me that the way we show up and walk into situations we've gotta be more thoughtful of. Because even that day that I had a bad day the other day, what if I had walked into a meeting all grumpy, bringing my bad attitude in some way, or having lower energy in some way than I normally do? I wouldn't be showing up as the best version of myself. So I'm challenging you for this week ahead to show up as that best, brightest version of yourself. Put in that extra effort, think about what you're gonna wear, think about getting yourself together and that smile on and feeling good about who you are. Because when you walk in the door feeling like that, people are gonna love who you are. I mean, it's just. It's naturally gonna happen that way. And to know how many people are willing to shut someone down if they don't do it, it's worth it to take the extra minute. Okay. I loved his advice on that. All right. And that was definitely one that I had forgotten about. All right, so interesting thing happened in the last week. Go check out my ig. I posted a reel about Katherine Heigl, who's an actress, very famous actress, actually, and she was being asked on an interview. And the interview's old. It was about, you know, how people say she's rude and she was defending herself? This post, it's so crazy, has more views than any post ever. By the way, it's not me in the post, it's her. Right? So it's interesting because it already has almost 5 million views in the last few days. And I just wanted to share with you if you're someone who posts on social media or maybe you're just interested in understanding social media. I'm super interested in it because it's basically free advertising for your business, and it's a way for you to build your personal brand, which is an investment in you. If you're not posting on social media, I strongly suggest you develop a strategy and start doing it. Hello, goals 2023. Let's go.

Giddy up.

So here's what I learned. And listen, the only way you're gonna figure things out is looking at other feeds, seeing what's working, trying to identify what commonalities or threads that you can pull together and then apply back to yourself. So controversy, whether you like it or not, sadly, in our world, is something that draws people in. And on some level, this is what I'm basically deducting from what I've seen on my feed, which I put a lot of positive stuff up on my feed. This was not that positive. It was a bit more controversial because it's begging the question. I said something in the actual post about, you know, I'm done with apologizing for who I am and, you know, I stand up for myself now or whatever, and I'm proud of who I am. Something like that. And people, oh, my gosh, there's over a thousand comments of people kind of really harshly having their own opinion. Some very much to one side, some to the other. Meaning some people are very much like, absolutely, you should absolutely own who you are. No apology necessary. Then just as much on the other side, people are saying, no, this woman is super negative. And it's not about the fact that she's a woman.

Right?

There's all these different threads of arguments going on where some people are arguing, saying she's only under the microscope because she's a woman. Some people are saying, no, men are put under the microscope too. No, she just actually is rude. No, she, you know, so it's just so interesting. The controversy, I guess, or the controversial element or argument allowing portion of this is what's definitely, in my opinion, made it go viral. However, thousands of people have saved it, which meant, you know, thousands of people want that reminder to stand up for themselves and not apologize. That's kind of how I took it. And thousands of people have shared it, which is interesting. And when I look at the shares, most of it is people saying, stand up for yourself. Right? So which is. It's kind of interesting. But again, the takeaway to me, because I always want to look at things from a data or an analytical standpoint, you know, what can you learn from this? Why is society so pulled into this? And it reminded me of the Meghan Markle phenomenon right now and Prince Harry phenomenon on Twitter almost every day. Those two are trending right now, right? So there's so much controversy in their lives because of their Netflix documentary, because of his book coming out, and because, you know, they moved out of the UK and left their, I guess, royal post or whatnot. There's controversy and it's very polarizing people. You're either team Harry and Meghan or you're not, or you're team, you know, OG uk, I guess. So people are literally having fights and feuds over this. But the bottom line is it's trending now when you talk about it. So of course I'm gonna post something about Meghan Markle not giving my opinion on it either way, but just putting it out there to see am I right on this. From a data standpoint, is it just the ability to have a polarizing figure so that people, they want their voice to be heard? On that, I'm not sure. I'm super curious as to what you think, so send me a DM or go to the post and leave a comment. I'll definitely see it. I'm just interested. It says a lot about our society and this interest, maybe in being heard and wanting your opinion to be heard, but then for some people, I do believe some people just wanna argue. And those are the people you do not wanna respond to. I definitely don't respond to. But it definitely got my attention this week. As when you see something go viral to that level, you gotta pause and just think, what does that mean about the community? What does it mean about people in general? And what does that say about society? And what can we learn from it? Right? Good, bad or indifferent, there's always something to be learned. Speaking of posts, I put a post up on LinkedIn actually today. And so if you are listening to this, please go back and check out my LinkedIn post. But it said something like, this Sunday reminder, you have not met all the people in your life that are going to love you yet. You just haven't. You haven't met all the friends that you're actually gonna have in this lifetime yet. And you haven't experienced all of the amazing things this has to offer you yet either. Right? And then I go on to say this is fact, and it is. Right. Cause you really haven't. And I know at different times in my life, I thought I had. Which is kind of funny, because I look back now. No, right. Every day is a gift. And every day we don't know what's about to unfold. And that is so incredibly exciting. I get so excited about that every day. A miracle can happen, a blessing can occur. And all of that is not up to us. Right? It's up to. To what's happening outside in the world and what we just might happen to walk into. So it's super exciting. I hope you feel excited about getting up today, tomorrow, you know, and every day. But to me, I made the point that I have a lot of friends and I've been blessed with a lot of friends. I also put a lot of time and effort, energy into keeping my friendships up. But, I mean, that's like one of the big blessings of my life is that I have incredible friends all over the country. And I never really thought about gaining new friends. I frankly think I have enough or too many and that I shouldn't be adding to the tribe. But when the Pandemic hit, I started meeting so many people online that I spent more time with than I normally would have because it was a pandemic and we were in lockdown and I made incredible new friends, brand new friends, Right. In my late 40s on a computer, which is so weird. And you have to have some really, I think, pretty strong chemistry to have a friendship on a computer. It's so weird. I still think it's so bizarre. Cut to after Pandemic's wrap. I am now meeting so many of these people, and I make it a priority to meet these people in real life because I want to know them and I want them to know they're important to me and I want them to know they're part of my friend tribe.

Right.

And they're unexpected, so they're blessings. I'm so lucky that I thought I was maxed on friends, and I'm not. And it also opens my eyes to you're not either. None of us are. And there's still still more friends we're going to find out there. There's still still more people that are going to love us out there that we don't know yet. And there's still more amazing days, experiences and adventures out there that we have no idea are ahead of us. It's that time of year again.

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To this point. I bring it up because this week a friend of mine I met during the pandemic was going to the breakers in Palm beach, which, if you know me, you know, that is my South Florida headquarters. I worship that place. It's incredible. And she messaged me and said, hey, my boyfriend and I are coming down. We're going to be here. These dates, is there any chance you could come up for dinner one night? Now I live in Miami, so for me to get to Palm beach, it's a little bit of a trek, right? It's like an hour and a half, or it could be two hours, depending on traffic. It could be worse. But now we have a train, Bright Line, which is amazing. Which if you haven't taken the Bright line and you're coming to South Florida, take it at the clean, beautiful, not expensive, so fast, it's incredible. And you bypass all traffic. So I said, you know what? Absolutely. The train is running again. I can definitely take the train up and then I'll take an Uber home and would love to see you. So, you know, I. It's a mission, right? I left Miami, I guess around 4:00 clock or 4:30, got there at 6:00 clock or, you know, had drinks and then dinner with them and we had the greatest time. And it was like being with some of my friends that I've been friends with my whole life. We just hit it off and had the greatest time. Anyways, I got home really late that night. I didn't get to see my son. He was already asleep by the time I got home. But I was so grateful that we had that opportunity and experience. And these are people I didn't even know two years ago, right? And now they're really good friends that we were talking about in the summer that, you know, we could meet up in Nantucket and just these different things that we have in common. And these are people I didn't even know existed two years ago. So I share this with you because there are people that are gonna come into your life that you're gonna love, that you're gonna be so excited to have as part of your tribe and you don't even know them yet. And that's so exciting. But you're gonna have to make some sacrifices to spend time with them. And sometimes it's a pain and sometimes you have to give up other things to do it. But you'll need to make those decisions if those relationships are worthwhile or not. And to me, oh my gosh, they're so worthwhile. It's so fun. It makes life worth living. To that end, the Same week, one of my biggest, best, best best friends in the world and her husband happened to be coming into town for somebody else's party for, you know, another group of people. But because they're coming into town, of course I'm making time to go over and see them. And I was so grateful to do it. You know, when you have friends like that for, you know, 20 plus years, as long as you can get an hour, an hour and a half in with them, that's all that matters. And it was just, it was incredible to see them, incredible just to have that time. And she and I were talking on the phone after and she's like, you know what's so cool is that we just always make time to see each other, even if it's only for an hour, an hour and a half. It just means the world to me and I feel the same way. So make time for those people that are special to you. It doesn't go unnoticed and it fills up your heart. You know, you just feel so connected to such great people who've been there for you through thick and thin. And it's a beautiful feeling. So remember the people that are important to you and they're going to remember you too. Okay? So I wanted to finish with what my pastor had talked about this week in church, which I thought was really interesting and super powerful. And I'm sure I won't do it any justice because he's an incredible preacher. But I like that he was talking today about instead of saying so good, you know, everyone would be like, oh, that's so good. He's saying he wants 2023 to be our year of saying it's soul good. It's good for our soul, right? Our soul good. And so if you want to check this out, I'm sure it's online. VOO church pastor Rich, he's incredible. Definitely go check it out. His sermon is so funny. He's hilarious. He's totally relevant. My son loves going to church. I have a 15 year old that loves going to church. Right? So you have to understand it's good, it's entertaining, it's a lot of fun. But there's always a great message and something really special to be taken from it. So check it out. In order to be soul good, what does that really look like? And he said it starts with having a good heart. Next it's about having a good mind, then about having a good body, then good relationships. And then ultimately, if you do those things, your soul will be good. And he breaks down Each one talking about if your heart is hardened or full of sin, or if your heart is full of love and kindness and open.

Right.

And so he got into a little bit about this. He's going to get into each one of these topics over the next few weeks in much more depth. But it was just like a great idea starter. I thought that, okay, am I leading in my life with an open heart? Just great questions to ask yourself and ponder that I'm not typically thinking about during the day. You know, am I full of love and kindness and giving, or do I just want to be right? Or these real action steps that I'm taking, you know, to ensure that I do have a good heart. It was like a great reminder, a good mind. This was a powerful one. He was talking about how our thoughts lead to feelings. And so often people forget this, right? Whatever it is you're thinking in your head. When I was thinking I was having a bad day the other day, you can take that and go down the spiral and feel so sorry for yourself and suddenly everything looks bleak. Well, guess what? Then you start feeling terrible too. And then you might start crying and, you know, your thoughts. Thoughts definitely lead to feelings. And then when you're thinking poorly and feeling badly, that's a tough one to get out of, right? So that was another great reminder that we can very easily, through training ourselves and discipline, change our thoughts so that we can create the feelings we wanna have to be excited and joyful, grateful and happy. But it's up to how we are thinking. And there's so many ways we can do that. When he talks about a good body, he's talking about what's funny saying, not being on a diet, but, you know, are you treating your body like a temple? Are you getting enough sleep every night? Are you exercising? Are you eating healthy? Right? Not just how you look, but to treat yourself as God has given us this body, how are we caring for it? How are we respecting it? And what does that actually look like? So again, another way, instead of just, I want to get into these GS or, you know, my body is a temple and am I treating it with that level of respect? And that was. I mean, that's kind of a. It's a big question to ask. Okay, then. Good relationships. So obviously your relationship with God next, your relationship with yourself, right? You can't be kind and loving to others if you're not being kind and loving to you first. And that's so important. And so many people I know in my life have looked at that as being selfish. And I think I may have as well for a bit. But I definitely understand now. Taking care of yourself first will allow you to take care of others. And so it's really, really important to make that commitment so that good relationship starts, you know, with your relationship with God or relationship, you know, with spirit, the way that you see it in your life. I'm not here to dictate that to anybody. But then next to yourself and how are you caring for yourself and then to the people around you, you know, your children, your friends, your spouse, whoever is in your circle. And then he talks about, of course, the relationships that are healthy, healing and elevating and helping you to grow. And then there might be relationships that are doing the opposite. And then how do you manage and navigate that and those choices and those decisions will make it soul good instead of just so good. So I thought that was an incredible message today. It really got me thinking. I hope it gets you thinking. Hopefully some of those points that he made can get you thinking introspectively about where you are and what potential. If, you know, we're not living up to our potential yet in any of those areas, what that potential can look like for this year, that to me is super exciting. So hopefully some of this lands with you today. If it does, please share it. Please tag me. I will always repost. I will always respond. You can get me on any social media. Eathermonahan. I'm everywhere. Check out the viral reel. Let me know what you think about the Katherine video. I'm super interested to hear. And of course I'm always showing up on LinkedIn on the regular. Send me a DM. Would love to hear from you. If you like the show, share it. That's how I know you liked it. And let me tell you, I appreciate it so much when you leave a review and share the show with someone that you care about. Until next week. I hope you keep creating your confidence. You know, I will be okay until then. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're going to hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. Come on this journey with me.