#423: STOP Worrying: Don’t Let Your Brain Trick You Into Fear with Heather!

Come on this journey with me each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay. This has been a week and I'm sharing this behind the scenes with you because it's super important that people understand you don't always see everything clearly from social media or, you know, what things appear like on the outside for a number of different reasons.

Right.

Number one, not everyone wants to share the challenges that they're having. And I get it. It's personal, right. And depends where you're at in your life and you know, what you're called to do. So I completely understand that. And some people are just, frankly, more private than others.

Right.

Sometimes it has to do with your work and your job and your family and there's things you're just not comfortable sharing. But I want to share this with you because I don't think people talk about this stuff often enough. And what's crazy is I can post about this stuff on social media, but only a percentage of my audience will see it. And Gary Vee taught me this a few years ago when he had me on his show. He was saying he wanted me to post like eight times a day. And I said, that's crazy, it's overkill. And he said no, because only a small percentage of anyone's posts ever reach their real audience. Right. So just because you don't see it doesn't mean it didn't happen, doesn't mean I didn't post. It just means you didn't see it. And that stinks. So that, that's why I'm bringing it to the show today, to make sure that everyone listening hears, you know, the challenges are real again, they're first world challenges. But things aren't always going seamlessly the way that it probably looks on the outside. Maybe it doesn't look that way, but I don't know. I just. It's important to me that I share this with you. Okay. I have a pretty big following on LinkedIn. I think it's 300,000 something people in my community. I've been posting on LinkedIn consistently for six years.

Right.

I've invested hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not more in my team in creating content and photo shoots and hiring photographers to come to events to film me. Right. Creating content is not an inexpensive initiative. Right. It costs a lot of time, money Resources, effort, energy, thought. And if everything was easy, I'm sure it really wouldn't be worth much and everyone would just do it, so it wouldn't be a big deal. But anyway, the reason why I tell you this is it's been a big investment of my time, my life, my resources over the last six years to show up daily creating content on LinkedIn. It's worked, right? I've got this great community of over 300,000 people. So now when I have products and services, I can sell to my community without having to go out and run ads, right? That's sort of part of the benefit of having a community. And that's how so many people now drive. Drive their business. And that's how I'm able to afford my business. That's how I'm able to afford how to do a podcast, right? Because a podcast is a ton of money, time, resources, a team, right? Like promotion. All of these things cost money. And I think it's. Sometimes people forget that on the outside looking in, especially, like if you're in a corporate job or whatever. I'm sure it never crossed my mind when I was back in corporate, when I saw Gary Vee stuff, I probably never even thought, oh, my gosh, the amount of effort, time, resources, team that this guy has to have to do. This is incredible because I was just consuming it, I wasn't creating it, right? So I'm just sharing that with you so you understand anyone that you see showing up on the daily is giving a lot towards that, especially if they're doing that for an extended period of time, for years at a time. It takes a lot, a lot of resources, a lot of time, a lot of effort, and a lot of people, okay? So to that end, this past week, all of a sudden, one day, I start getting pings from people. Hey, did you block me? Some of these pings were saying. And I'm like, what are you talking? Did I block you? No, I didn't block you. What are you talking about? And then I get another one, hey, did you or your team block me? I can't see your profile on LinkedIn. Then some people started pinging me, hey, is everything okay? I can't find your profile. Let me know if you need anything. Which, first of all, I just want to stop there and say, it's so interesting, and it says a lot about what's going on in people's minds and their lives based upon how they receive. Everyone had the same experience. They couldn't find me on LinkedIn, right? I disappeared, I guess. And people were looking for me to tag me, to send me a message, whatever it was, to consume my content, and it wasn't there. Half of the people, actually more than half of the people pinged me and said, you blocked me. Why did you block me? Why are you mad at me? Why are you cutting me out? Which is super interesting, because I hadn't. The other percentage of people were asking if they could help because they couldn't find me. So take a minute right there and just ask yourself, like, which person are you? And maybe it changes based upon the day that you're having, what's happening in your life. That's probably more accurate, right? If someone's having a horrible day and they're looking for some uplifting content and they can't find it, maybe then they're thinking they were blocked. But it's just interesting to think, like, where is your mindset at today? You know, and how can you improve it or flip it? Because the reality is this, I hadn't blocked anyone. LinkedIn had taken my profile down and had restricted my profile. Unbeknownst to me. I had no idea this was going on, right? I didn't get any information on it. I didn't have any communication on it. I was just gone. And so I just get these messages and I'm saying, that's weird. People think I'm blocking them. Why are people asking if they can help me? So I went down the rabbit hole and found out that my account had been restricted, right? After six years of creating content daily and all this money, time, effort I've put into it, now I'll say this, this has happened before. So it's happened on two other occasions over the last six years that my account was restricted. And listen, people, there's plenty of theories on why this happens, but the bottom line is this. LinkedIn is a company, just like Facebook is a company. These are platforms and companies. They can kick anyone off whenever they want. And that's why it's important that you own your own audience. Meaning for me, it's always a reminder. I need to migrate my audience from LinkedIn to my Mailchimp, from LinkedIn to my text programs, from LinkedIn to my email list to my podcast, to the things I own. And that's a reminder for you as you build community, as you build connections, if you go on other people's podcasts, if you get featured in Entrepreneur magazine, whatever, drive them to something you own. Not to your social media profiles, because you don't own those. And Those can be taken away from you. Right. Which I'm living right now. Okay. So that's just a good reminder. Drive people to in your community to.

Something that you own.

Your text list, your email list, your podcast. Meet a different guest each week. It's that time of year again.

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I asked you to try to find your passion so I'm grateful you're here. No one can take my podcast away. In fact we're actually launching an ad free version because I've heard so much feedback that people want an ad free version so there will be a paid option available for everyone with no ads. Psyched for that. So so so excited for that. Cause I heard you. I heard you don't want the ads anymore so you are going to have a solution. It should be out I think in the next two weeks. Okay, stay tuned for that one. There'll be a link in the show notes the minute it's live so that you can sign up and subscribe for that one. Okay, so interesting that there was this difference in thought, right? That some people thought they had been targeted for a negative reason. And interesting that some people are reaching out to help me. Just says a lot to me about where people are at mentally in their situation, in their lives, how they interpreted the exact same scenario, right? It's just, it's so wild. Okay. Some people couldn't find me, they immediately thought I blocked them. Some people couldn't find me, they immediately contacted me Worried and wanting to know how they can help me. Interesting. I find it so interesting. Okay, who are you? Which one would you be? How would you respond? So, based upon my history with LinkedIn and because I had been restricted twice prior to this, my mind went to, oh, I know what's gonna happen. Thinking that the past was going to repeat itself, right? Don't we do that often? Do you ever do that? Like a situation comes up and you're like, oh, I've seen this movie, I know exactly what's gonna happen. You know, blah, blah, blah, here's how it's gonna roll out. So in my mind I thought, okay, I'm restricted, seen this movie twice. Okay, here's what happens. I'll end up, I'll get an email, it's going to tell me something, you know, went wrong or whatever. Then it's going to tell me it needs to review. Then it's going to tell me I have my account back. Then it's going to tell me it was an error. That's what happened last time. It's going to take a little while to restore your community. I'll probably be offline for at least a week and probably won't have my community back for two weeks, right? So in my mind I kind of was like, all right, this is okay, this is this, it just is, right? There's nothing I can do about it. However, I'm a big believer in taking action. And you know that if you've read my second book, overcome your villains, my three step process is beliefs, action, knowledge. Action is the big one, right? Like you gotta take action. So I did reach out to two people I know that work at LinkedIn, just asking for help, saying, hey, here's where I'm at, don't know what's going on, haven't received communication, need some help. In talks with some of my friends offline, they said, hey, let's file some tickets. There are support tickets that you can file. And so let's start having people, anytime someone reaches out to you, Heather, have them file a support ticket. The more people we can get asking to have your account reinstated, probably the sooner they're going to address it, right? Which I think makes a lot of sense. Super smart. Again, I didn't know to do that. So a friend of mine told me. So then from that point on, every time I got any type of an email or message saying, hey, what's going on? Your account's gone on LinkedIn, I want to help you, I would say, please file a support ticket Complaining that you want the Heather Monahan account back, and that will help. Eventually, I end up getting communication from LinkedIn, right? And it comes back and it says, we're looking into it. We'll get back with you. So to say that I was discouraged is an understatement, right? And I'm a big fan of saying, wait to worry. Don't start worrying before something terrible happens. But in this minute, you're kind of in it, right? Like, this is my business. 90% of my business comes from LinkedIn. 90% of my speeches that I'm hired for come from LinkedIn. 90% of my mastermind clients all come from LinkedIn. And we're in the window right now where we're bringing all these people on to consider who we're going to put in the mastermind. And suddenly I'm not able to communicate with them, right? So it's just one of those frustrating things that. It's like my mastermind happens once a year. And in the window of the six weeks that the doors are open for people to apply, I disappear from LinkedIn. And in my mind, I'm going to be gone for a couple of weeks. Okay. I remind you that because I want you to change your perspective in case something like this happens to you. We don't always know how things are gonna go based upon the past. The past is sometimes just in the past, right? We don't know. And we need to approach situations with an open mind, hopeful expectations, which I was not doing. I was being super negative. My son, oh, my gosh. If you could have seen us in the house Friday night when I was making him dinner and I was in the worst mood and I'm saying to him, I just, I'm reaching out to people, trying to get help, and I'm so frustrated, and I don't know why they would do this to me. And my son was saying, mom, just let it go. Everything's gonna be fine. This has happened before. You get it back, everything. You didn't do anything wrong. Don't worry. So he was right, I was wrong, and I was being negative Nelly and tail spinning. Because I just was frustrated, especially about the timing of this happening. Cut to. So I reached out to a few people. I had anyone that was asking how they could help. I was asking them to file a ticket. So there were some things happening behind the scenes, but at the same time, now this is Friday night, right? So, you know, there's not going to be a lot of people working. Make a long story longer. I wake up in the morning and I get an email and it says, we escalated your issue to the highest level possible. It turns out your account was shut off in error. Okay, so this is different than what happened last time. Last time it took like a week before they even responded to me like this, right? So I was wrong. I was predicating everything on the past, which was wrong. I shouldn't have done that. I should have been more hopeful, right? I should have said, no, this will be a better outcome, better experience. That way I wouldn't have had to spend my Friday worrying and getting so upset and eating bad food because I was miserable. Do you ever do that? It's a terrible habit. Okay, so anyhow, I read this email and it says we were wrong. You didn't do anything wrong. In fact, here's what it told me. I had used a third party link to shorten a link. It's called Bitly, right? And you do that just so it looks visually better to drive people to whatever link I was. Maybe it's the podcast, right? Whatever it was that I'm driving them to, I had used a Bitly link, or my team had. We've done that forever. Well, turns out the algorithm has changed. They don't like that. And that triggered the LinkedIn algorithm to say that I was doing something wrong. So they told me in this email, I'm sharing this with you. Don't use a Bitly link. Use your own long link. And LinkedIn automatically shortens it for you. Okay? So that's just a tip from your girl so that you don't have to deal with what I dealt with. And these are all just conversion opportunities for you. You build a community, you create content so people can get to know you. And then at some point, you're going to convert them into clients, podcast listeners, people to buy your books, people to join your masterminds, people to hire you for your keynotes, whatever it may be, right? Whatever you're doing. Okay, so I get the message and I feel so much better, obviously, because I know I didn't do anything wrong. I'm like, okay, one crisis has been averted, right? I don't have my account back yet. I don't have my community back yet. But at least I know at this point I didn't do anything wrong. Because you're always scared, like, oh, gosh, I hope I didn't break a violation, do a violation or whatever. Break a rule. Unlinked rules. I'm in LinkedIn jail. Okay, so I get the email. I'm Feeling better. The end of the email, it says, we feel badly about, you know, something to this effect. Like, we feel badly that this happened. We are in the process of restoring your account. However, it can take up to two weeks to restore your account to your full community and followers. If you have further questions, we're happy to call you and speak to you about this. So now I get this email Saturday morning. So I respond right away. I give them my cell phone. I'm like, call me anytime. Well, of course, I wasn't thinking. It's weekend, they're not working, right? So I've spent all weekend tailspinning that. Oh my gosh, I know it's coming back, but why can't it come back now? Cut to my account is back up, but my following went from 300,000 plus to 30,000. Now. I know it's coming back, right? Like, you know, okay, the positive outcome is in the future. I don't know when it's coming back. I don't know how it comes back, but I know it's coming. It's just frustrating that I'm in this window right now where, you know, it's not ideal. Here's what I know. Here's what I wish I had said to myself Friday. Just because it happened one way in the past doesn't mean it's gonna happen that way again, right? This outcome was way better than the situation last time. I didn't hear anything back for like a week. I was in the dark for a week, going crazy, right? So this was a much better outcome than I had anticipated. So I share this with you for anything you're facing right now that you think you know the outcome on turn it over to God, like, be willing to have this expectation, it's gonna turn out so much better than you think. Because for me, it did, right? This whole Bitly thing, I had no idea that was a thing. It was no big deal. They made the mistake. They said they were sorry for it, right? They're committed to reinstating things. They're willing to talk me through it. That's all good, right? Mistakes happen, right? In any business, there's going to be mistakes. And as long as people make it right, this is how we move forward, learn and get better. And so for me, it was just a learning experience that just because something happened one way in the past does not mean it has to to duplicate that today. It can be different, it can be better. There can be a more efficient, effective, faster outcome. And things can turn around in a day completely different, right. I went to bed Friday night spinning my wheels, going crazy. Saturday morning, I wake up finding out we didn't do anything wrong. They were turning my account back on. So I'm asking you to let go of whatever the past outcomes were, to step into this present moment, to live in this present moment right now where anything is possible. I never knew I was gonna get that email Saturday morning. I'm so much happier today now, even though. Okay, I can't wait for you to hear the episode next week. Cause I'll keep you updated. Or you can actually go to my LinkedIn account and see yourself. If you go to my profile, you'll be able to see how many followers I have if my community's back or not. But in a business, it's kind of a big deal to go from an audience of 30,000 to an audience of 300,000 plus. Right? That's a big, big difference. Big gap there. So I'm hopeful it's gonna be coming back soon. I know it will be coming back, which does give me peace of mind. But at the same time, I just learned a hard lesson that just because something went one way in the past does not mean it will go the same way today. And it's just something important for you, like whatever's gotten you to the place that you are today. Great. That was about the past. What are you going to do differently today and tomorrow? Right. Just because one outcome surfaced in the past doesn't mean it's going to surface today. Anything is possible. There is opportunity for anything else to happen. We need to start expecting that things are going to be great, that things are going to go better than we thought and, and start living in the present instead of living in the past. Because that's what I was doing. I needed to let go of the past, live in the possibility of the present now that things could be so much better. And that's what I want for you. So I hope that you can take that from the message today. Okay, back to. I was getting all these crazy messages, people telling me I blocked them. That was so bizarre that people immediately went to worst case scenario that if they couldn't see my account, it's because I blocked them. I didn't block anyone. So again, the next time you see something negative happen or you perceive it as negative, maybe be open minded to. Maybe it's a negative situation for the other person. Right. My account disappeared and I had no idea about it. That was a negative situation for me. It wasn't about me acting out in A negative way to them. So be open to this idea that just cause we think we see it one way doesn't mean that's actually the way. Here's another great example that happened this week. Friend of mine reached out, he's launching a book, needed some help. I connected him to a bunch of people. I introd him on text messages and people asking for favors to help him. And then he didn't respond for a day. And I was kind of frustrated thinking like, gosh, you asked me to do that. What the heck? And now you didn't reply to the people trying to help you. I was a little like, what? Scratching my head. Wouldn't you know, a day later he responds back to all that. He had a family crisis and they were at the hospital and. Right. These are the things that I wasn't thinking that I immediately was just kind of thinking like, okay, like why are you not responding to people? Hello, you asked me for help, I'm helping you. But I didn't stop to think, gosh, I hope he's okay. Right? And so often I think we all do that. Like we make it about us instead of other people and hoping. I hope they're safe, I hope they're okay. I hope nothing bad happened. Or maybe sending a note. Are you okay? I want to check in on you and make sure everything's okay. So let's think the best of other people, myself included. If for some reason you can't see my content, don't think that I blocked you. I definitely didn't. I don't block people unless they send me some crazy, sick, insane messages, which those people do exist, sadly, and they do get blocked. Okay, so that I can't wait for next week. Cause I'm sure next week my account's going to be completely fine. And this is going to be a memory from long ago and I'll be laughing about it. But it will be interesting to see what the timeline is on this one. Meet a different guest each week.

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I ask you to try to find your passion. People are asking me a lot. I have a digital clone. If you haven't checked her out yet, you can have conversations with her. She is me. They uploaded all of my books, all of my podcast episodes, all of my interviews, all of my content. I've Ever created into the brain of this digital clone. Heather Monahan, and she is me. She knows everything. So you can have a conversation with her. She'll answer your questions. It's crazy. It's so cool. It's so wild. AI is so wild. And I actually have an episode coming up soon. If you're not subscribed to the show, subscribe to the show. This interview with Daniel Priestley is incredible. The business tips and tricks he shares on the show and specific to AI what he shares about AI is incredible. I can't wait for you to hear this episode. So, so, so good. I've already gone back and listened to it myself and I just recorded recorded it the other day. It's so good. And I've already applied his teachings to my business in real time right when he and I hung up. So you're gonna love that episode. Okay, so back to the digital clone. So if you have questions, you wanna talk in real time, go to the digital clone. Well, I can also see the questions that people are asking Most often in one of the top 10 questions people are asking, how do you get testimonials for your work? This is super important. It is not hard to get testimonials for your work and we should all have them. I have tons and tons and tons of them and you should too. Here's what you do. So I'm gonna use Google as an example. I spoke for Google this past week and I did a pre call with them. Qualified what they wanted to achieve. When I gave my speech, right, we went through it twice actually. We had two pre calls. So I felt really confident and solid going in that I had asked all the right questions. Like I had them empty their glass to me. What is it that you want to achieve? What do you want people walking away saying, what does success look like, right? What does failing look like? I want to completely understand what your goals are so that I can overachieve, so that I can come back to you and ask for testimonial and do a great job. So we did a great job on the pre calls. We knew what we were walking into. Me and my team were there early, like we nailed it. We hit all of the markers that we needed to. I thought we did a great job that day. Immediately I send a follow up email and I just said, hey, thank you so much for the opportunity to speak for your team today. I really appreciate your business. Please let me know how you think it went, what you thought went well, if something didn't go well and what we could do better. Or if you need anything else from me, right, like just a follow up to make sure that we delivered the way we thought we did. I got an email back from her the next day saying, heather, great job, Everything went well, we got incredible feedback, blah, blah, blah. Thank you so much. Okay, thank you. That's your moment to ask for your testimonial. So I reply to that email, hey, thank you so much for the positive feedback. Thank you for letting me know. It would mean the world to me if you could write a testimonial that you would be okay with me sharing on my website, on social media and anywhere I'm promoting my speaking business to help further my speaking business. It really would mean a lot to me. And that's it. And I press sent. And two days later I got back a testimonial from Google saying, Heather Monahan doesn't just talk about confidence, she provides a roadmap to build it. Her speech to our women's group was filled with practical tips and exercises we could start using immediately. The feedback has been overwhelmingly positive. I highly recommend Heather for any company seeking to foster a more confident, empowered workplace. CISSY Chen Engineering Manager, Google so you have to ask, right? Like do the work on the front end, do a great job, pre qualify things, find out what success looks like, deliver, deliver and over deliver, ask if you were able to do, you know, meet their needs when you're done. And then when they say yes, that's your moment to ask, right? So anytime someone sends you a note and say, hey, I just want to say you did a great job at this event the other day. Oh, thank you so much for the feedback. I so appreciate it. Is there any chance you could actually write me a written testimonial that I could use on social media to promote my business? It would mean the world to me.

Boom, that's it.

You don't need to overthink it, you just need to ask. And here's the thing, people will say, well, I don't want to bother someone else. I'm asking for too much. No, that is not up to you to decide for somebody else. You let them decide for you. It doesn't cost them anything but two minutes out of their day to actually put the words on a piece of paper and press send. That's it, right? There's no fee for that. There's no donation you're asking for. You're asking for a free gift with purchase. You're asking for something that they asked you for that you delivered on and did a good job with that. They said you did a good job with. If they could give you a written version of that to share, that's it. So don't deny them the opportunity to help you, because the reality is they're going to feel good about sharing that positive feedback with you. You're going to be grateful and thankful that they did it. It's going to help you grow your business. They're going to feel good about that. Right. So don't deny other people the opportunity to help and support you when the reality is 99% of them want to. Right? So ask for the testimonial. You're worth it. Ask people for the feedback. Find out where you stand. But you got to raise your hand and you got to ask, right? A closed mouth doesn't get fed. Okay, so back to my digital clone. She now has a phone number. Yes, I'm going to give you her phone number right now. So if you are ever in a situation, you're stuck, you need some feedback, you need some negotiation tips. You want to know how to sell and close something. You want to know what the best podcast episode was that I've done so far this year on such and such tactic or tip, whatever it may be, you're stuck and you need some confidence boosting points. Call this number, 201-897-2553. That is your digital clone, Heather Monahan in real time. I've been calling it all weekend. It is so wild. AI and technology is completely transforming the way that we communicate and do business and listen. That is not bad. It just means there's going to be different opportunities. Right before, the only way to get my information was through my books, my podcast or my speeches or my mastermind. Now we've added another option, a digital clone. Right. So we're just expanding the opportunities to share information and to allow it to happen in a faster, more real time way, which is super cool, super exciting. And if you embrace it and lean into it, start thinking about how can you apply that to your business? Like, where could AI help and support you? And like I mentioned, the Daniel Priestley episode, we get into that. He's got some great thoughts on it that, like I said, I've been putting in real time to my business and it is moving the needle. So I want it to move the needle for you and for your business too. And maybe you're saying, hey, I'm still in a corporate job, I'm not an entrepreneur. I'm not living my best life yet. That's fine too. Well, these are ideas that if you take small action steps on now, today, tomorrow, you can start building a business for your future. That's how it starts for everybody, right? Well, for me, I got fired. That's how it started for me. But you can start it and get ahead of it, which is a much smarter, less painful experience. And I highly suggest you do that. I also suggest that you do it because everyone's got a personal brand. Why not hold the pen and dictate what that personal brand says says about you instead of allowing other people to do that for you? You've got a personal brand out there. People are talking about you when you're not in the room. That's what your brand is. Why not hold the pen and dictate it on social media? Why not hold the pen and create the website? Why not hold the pen and write the book? Why not hold the pen right? You're worth it, you're worthy. People do business with people they know, like and trust. Start elevating your name, taking those steps today. And if you don't know how to do it, join my mastermind. You can apply for my mastermind. I'll put the link in the show notes below. The doors are open right now. This only happens one time per year. That's it. Someone sent me a message the other day. They said, the timing's not right for me. I want to join in July. You can't. The doors aren't going to be open in July. You can join once a year. That's it.

May.

That's it. By the end of the May, the doors are closed. It's a wrap. The team has moved on and we are going to the next level together. And I mentioned the team that I had from this past year has been incredible. I've seen people quit their jobs. I've seen people launch their personal brands. I've seen people take massive stages. I've seen people completely reinvent themselves. I've seen someone giving a TED Talk, giving a TEDx talk. All these things happening in community this year and they happen because we're holding each other accountable. I'm giving everyone access to all of my vendors, all of my best coaches, the people that helped and elevated me. I'm giving everyone access to everything that I have in this community. If you're in a situation where you feel like you should be doing more, you should be chasing your purpose, you have a bigger message that you want to share and now is the time to do it. Don't wait. I wish that I had joined a community like this years before I got fired. Had I done that, I would have left years before they could have fired me. That would have been better, right? Leave on your own terms, but join a community of like minded people with someone who's been where you want to go. You can either take the time like I did, taking the years to figure it out, trial and error, making mistakes and trying to develop contacts, or you can leapfrog everybody else by investing in yourself and jumping in with a group of like minded people with someone who's been where you want to go. Never take direction from someone who hasn't been where you want to go. All right, so if this is for you, check the show notes. You can apply to join the wait list for my mastermind. Do it today. You are worth it. I can't wait to hear what you think of the digital clone. By the way, I'm flipping out and I can't wait to share with you the non ad version of the show. If you ask, you shall receive. All right, until next week. Keep creating your confidence. You know how I'll be. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. Come on this journey with me.