#425: The Secret To Leaving When You Aren't Valued with Heather!

Come on this journey with me each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. Fasten your seatbelts. I'm ready for my close up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay. A lot going on. I hope you're doing well, first and foremost. Okay. So May, I don't know about you. Tell me what you think. I would love to hear from you. You can always get me on my website, heathermonahan.com you can, you can always send me a DM on LinkedIn on Instagram. Those are probably the two best ways to reach me other than sending a contact me form@heather monahan.com. okay. Or you can always call my clone, my digital clone, 201-897-2553. Yes, you can speak to her. You can leave messages for me there. It's a phone call. It's crazy, I know. Or you can talk to the digital clone on my website, heather monahan.com so wild AI is changing our lives for the better. Okay, so here's what I'm hyped about. In May, and it's so. Oh, my gosh, I don't know. Do you ever feel like there's a time of year in your life where you create more? You're inspired more? Think about it, right? Just think about. I don't know why it happens. Here's the thing. I look back on my life and I love connecting the dots. Looking back. Cause when you're going through it, you don't know. But when you've come through some of it, you look back and you're like, oh, my gosh, wait a minute. There's a theme here. So for me, and I want this for you, too. And it can be for you. You just need to be intentional and declare it and do it right. So for me, May is my month of creation. And let me break it down for you. And again, you never know it when it's happening, right? So the first and biggest creation of my life is my son, obviously, right? The greatest creation of all time in my life. My son is amazing. He was born mate, 31st. He's going to be 17 this May 31st. I'm so hyped and excited for him. I'm not hyped for the birthday list which he told me he's working on right now. Oh, my gosh, I cannot even imagine what that's going to look like. Okay. But here's the thing. So he's the greatest creation of all time of my life for sure. And that was May 31, 2007, quite a while ago. Cut to right. I was in corporate America. I was a C suite executive in the media business for 20 something years and my life was kind of in business. It was on autopilot pilot, so. And I say that. However, if you talk to people that worked with me, they will always call me Hurricane Heather and Change Maker Heather. And they're always saying that I was changing things and challenging everyone. But to me it didn't really feel like it, right. I was living through the confines of the known right in corporate America. Especially if you're in a traditional business with traditional folks surrounding you, AKA older people that have done something one way all the time. I was always challenging them to see things differently, grow and do things differently. Didn't mean they were always responding. And I actually somebody said to me the other day, gosh, you never belonged in corporate to begin with. And I guess I didn't. When I hear that I was always stifling my own voice, getting frustrated, getting upset that people weren't listening to my ideas that I knew were right. Do you ever feel like that you're like, oh, I know I'm right, but I can't convince them. When I look back, the construct that I was working in corporate is really more geared towards a systematic process and just staying within the lines. Maybe that's antiquated now, I don't know. Especially with technology, I would challenge that. But a lot of people see it that way, right? Definitely. The company that I used to work for saw it that way. So cut to as you know. And people get so annoyed with me talking about it. When I was 43, I ended up getting fired unexpectedly, literally a couple of weeks after I was named one of the most influential women in radio. That was a kicker. Kicker to the ego in a big way. My confidence tanked. Totally unexpected. I'm a single mom. I had an 18 month non compete. You know the drill, right? You've heard the story. Okay. So freaked out, didn't know what I was going to do. Went into like a 24 hour state of depression under a weighted blanket with a bottle of chardonnay. When I came to, I thought, nobody knows I got fired. So I posted about it, which people thought was crazy. I did not. I listened to the one voice and opinion that matters my own and moved forward anyhow. Ended up landing on the Elvis Duran show. He spoke life into me and said Listen, you're writing a book. I said, okay, I am writing a book and it's coming out right away. Well, anyhow, here's the wild thing. And this is back to May. My first book, Confidence Creator, came out in May of 2018. So this was like my second big creation, right? My son 2007 May and now confidence Creator Well, I tell you that because I didn't know that was going to happen, right? But I didn't have some master plan. I never thought I was going to be an author. I didn't even know if I could be an author, right? I wasn't like an English lit major. I was always a sales sales leadership person. Meet a different guest each week.

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I asked you to try to find your passion. So may 2018 confidence creator came out. The first week it was out it trumped Donald Trump for number one on the business biography list. Crush. Yes, I have the photos and proof for that one right? All over it. Happy to post about it again. I probably will this month because I'm so hyped about it.

So proud.

Super excited. That book killed it. What's so wild is that book has still sold more copies than my second book that I did with Harper Collins. Leadership Overcome youe Villains. Maybe it's because I didn't do it in May, right? I did it. I think I did it in November. It came out in November. Maybe I should stick with what's working. Okay, so that was my second major creation Which I was so excited about. I'm so proud of to this day. And by the way, it has three mistakes in it. Done will always be better than perfect. I hope I remind you about that a lot because that book has helped so many people. I mean, I'm still go online, look on Amazon, Read the reviews, go on Audible. Read the reviews. It's incredible, right? So that book's a game changer. It's really a roadmap on how to create confidence in any situation. So cut to 2019.

Right?

Let's go back to May again. I'm in May 2019 again. There was no master plan. Please, if you know me, you know this. I'm not like some devious person sitting around with some master plan, keeping it a secret from everyone. Nope. I'm just taking massive action all the time. Moving fast and breaking things and just following my heart, listening to my intuition, wanting to do the next right thing. I make plenty of mistakes. Oh, my gosh, that is an understatement. However, I feel so good about what.

I'm doing, what I'm building.

I'm just open to whatever's to come next because I know it's gonna be incredible. So 2019 in May, what did you create, Heather, Let me tell you, without a big plan, without some master strategy, I launched this podcast you're listening to right now in May of 2019. That means this baby is five years old today. Right? I have to find the actual date. But May of 2019, I launched this show that you're listening to right now. Back then, I launched it with podcast one, which I've changed network since then. Right. So things don't go seamlessly, I guess is my point. The other thing is, my first guest was Gary Vee that I had on the show because my whole attitude was go big or go home, which I love. And I still rock that attitude today. But what's funny is when people hear that, they always go back and listen to that episode and they're like, heather, you sucked. Apparently, I wasn't that good back then. But here's what I know. No one is great. As a beginner, I guess I wouldn't have been great at interviewing people because I hadn't done it before. Right. That wasn't my wheelhouse. I had spoken for 20 something years, so I would hope I'd be great when I took the title professional speaker. I'd been doing it for 20 years. That was a little bit different. But I hadn't been sitting down and interviewing people, so I guess I sucked. Well, as disappointing as that is, hopefully over the last five years have gotten better. The feedback's been really good. The reviews on the show. Oh, my gosh. P.S. if you haven't left a review yet, please do. And please share the show with someone that you think can benefit from it. No one succeeds alone. And that goes for your girl right here. But we have thousands of five star reviews of the show. We're killing it. And no one here would be succeeding without you listening. So I'm super, super grateful for that. And also, if you don't know, I've gotten complaints about the ads. We are launching a paid version of the show which will have zero ads. I think it's like $4 a month or something, so you don't ever have to listen to an ad again on the show. I'm hyped for that too. You just keep letting me know what you need. We're going to keep creating solutions for you. Okay? So May is my creation month, right? So first my son, then 2018, my book, Confidence Creator. Then 2019, this show, Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan. And again, the show has changed a lot. First, I was just doing interviews. Now we do one interview a week and one solo episode a week. Sometimes we do best of episodes. Like, we try to innovate and change it up to see how we can add the most value to you. And again, I say we. It is not just me, right? I've got a team. I have a podcast production team. Part of my team is writing the show notes. Part of my team is optimizing SEO. Part of my team is fielding the inbound requests that we get wanting to be on the show. Part of my team is marketing the show. There's a lot of people, a lot of effort, resources, and time that go into creating a podcast or, you know, over a five year period building anything. And I want you to know that for anyone that looks on the outside and says, like, oh, gosh, she's lucky, or that, you know, really was easy for her, I'm here to say no. We're going to debunk that myth. It wasn't easy. Cost a lot of money, took a lot of time, a lot of hard work, but here we are, we're showing up five years later. I couldn't be more proud, and I'm so grateful for you and for your support. So thank you for rolling with me. All right, so in May, I'm hyped again. Last May. So May of 2023, my newest creation, in May of 2023 was I launched my first ever mastermind. I had never done a mastermind in total transparency. I'd heard about it but didn't really know. And it was actually a friend of mine and a business colleague came to me and said, you needed to launch a mastermind. And I said, why? And she said, because people are always asking you how can they amplify their voice, how can they transition out of corporate and start their own entrepreneurial business, how can they launch a podcast, how can they take stages, how can they get their message out there? And I'm like, yeah, you're right, they do that all the time. But I thought that was just consulting or coaching and I just would do it if I had free time and if I didn't, I wouldn't do it. She's like, no, this is a big business. Solve the problem that people keep asking you for and that's something I want you to know. Whatever people keep asking you for, that's a business. Start paying attention. Right? I wasn't paying attention and I'm grateful. That woman, actually, her name's Kelly Roach, she's amazing. Check her out online. She's got a great podcast as well. Really smart woman. Anyhow, she had been in the entrepreneurial space for years longer than I had. She's a number of masterminds that she runs. I only run one. And she just saw it plain as day in me, spoke life into me and I decided to take it and run with it. So I put a post up, hey, I'm launching my first ever Mastermind. If you want to amplify your brand, be seen as a thought leader in, you know, your expertise and take your message to the next level. Apply here. We had over a thousand people apply last year, launched my mastermind. It was incredible. Over the last year I've run with this group of people. I've watched them go through so such massive growth and change. All very different. Some people, I think I mentioned this with you. One person left their spouse, one person left their job. One person started a new company, another person started a zoo, another person started a podcast, another person started writing a book. Two of my people landed TED talks. Actually three now. Right. Like so there's so much has been going on. But here's the real takeaway for me. When you run with a tribe of like minded people that support one another, challenge one another and hold you accountable because you know on the monthly you are showing up with them, not only do you not want to disappoint yourself, you don't want to disappoint them. And so the beautiful magic of this tribe has just been in that collective and the intention and the celebration. And so we are having our final event in person event in Miami. Actually not this Friday, but next Friday. I'm so pumped for it to come full circle with everyone and revisit what their goals were at the beginning, what they ended up achieving, what they're celebrating, what they're looking forward to for next year. But again, back to May being my creation month. So this May, I am launching my second ever Mastermind. If you want in, you have got to apply now@heathermonahan.com Elite Mastermind I think it is. But I'll leave the link in the show notes below for you. Apply there. Here's why. So far this year we've had, I think I've been promoting it maybe two weeks now. We've had 400 people apply. Right. It's all about getting the right people. And it's got to be people who really have good intention, have positive energy, want to go to the next level, want to put themselves out there, take risk and really want to cheer others on. The most important thing to me is to run with people with positive attitudes that want to do good in the world. Like, that's the most important lens I can look through anything. Like, are you a good person? Do you want to do good? I'm here for you. You want to make more money? Yeah. I'm right there with you. Right. Like, let's take everything to the next level. Financially, mentally, spiritually, attitude, helping others. I'm all in. But I need to make sure that others feel that same way. What's interesting is I have people from the oil and gas industry from, like I said, the zoo business, from people in the literary world, from people in corporate hr, from people, senior level execs in the medical space. Right. So it doesn't really matter what you're currently doing, what space you're in. It's just more about what headspace you're in. So if that sounds of interest to you, please apply the link below. If you look like a good fit, someone on my team will reach out to you and set up a call to meet with you live. Okay? So May is my creation month. My new creation. This month is my second ever mastermind. I am so pumped and so excited because I know magic is going to happen again this year. Now, I am not done creating it because it is beginning of May. So I just have a sense and a feeling I'm going To create something else this month. I don't know what it is yet, but I'm so open to whatever it may be. And I want to ask you this. What are you creating?

Right?

Stop thinking that other people can be creative or that you're not creative. That's a lie that other people are telling you or that you're telling yourself. That's not real. Everyone is creative. Everyone has the potential to create. And in any moment, you're creating something. Right? Both of my books were creations. This podcast is a creation. This episode is a creation. Right? Like your next idea is a creation. It didn't exist a day ago and it exists now. Right? You applying to the mastermind, that's a creation. Just understand there's creation happening 24 7, everywhere. My digital clone is a creation, right? So wild. What is possible is always changing because of technology, because of the people you're coming into contact with, because of the information you're accessing. That's different than yesterday because of the attitude you have today versus yesterday. Right? Like, everything is always changing. The possibilities are always changing. Start embracing that and start accepting you are a creator. You are here to create. I'm hyped for it. I can't wait to see what you're gonna create. I can't wait to see what I'm gonna create next. It's so exciting. And when you embrace that attitude, I don't know, again, anything's possible. So I was in church yesterday and got a really good message I wanted to share with you. It was about divine subtraction. Our pastor was talking about this idea of divine subtraction, which is really around certain people, places, things. Jobs are not meant for you. And you might not understand why, but divine guidance. God might need to subtract some of these people so they might be taking people out of your life. And at the time, you feel heartbroken. You're so sad. But that's because a better person's gonna show up. But we need that space cleared for that next person. We don't understand. God can see, and God knows that some of these people just aren't right for you. Right? And you've gotta trust God's protection. And I understand some people don't want it to be about God. You can call it whatever you'd like. I call it God, you can call it universe. You can say you do you. I'm doing me. So I do believe it's God's protection and God's redirection. It was never rejection. It was always redirection. And if you've been with me on the show, you know, a year ago I got my heart broken and I thought, like, that can't be right. But what I've seen and it's the same was just like getting fired, right? Those doors close for very good reason. You might not know what it is yet, but you will find out in time. Have trust, have faith and believe that the best is yet to come. Because it always truly is. That, my friends, is fact. And the best example for me is at 43 getting fired. And I literally had no idea what I was going to do. I stand here today having two bestselling books named top 50 keynote speaker in the world. Just got back from Saudi Arabia headlining the largest tech conference in the world. Didn't know that was gonna happen. Talking to you on my podcast, which is killing it, right? Like there's so much positive happening that would have never occurred. My board seat. I would never have a board seat if I hadn't fired my villain that day. The day she thought she fired me, I actually fired my number one villain. And when you fire your number one villain, you create space for positive people, things and places to show up for you. As my pastor said, it's divine subtraction. Meet a different guest each week.

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I asked you to try to find your passion. Okay? So that whole thing, it reminded me listening to his sermon yesterday about a story that my sales manager told me when I first got into sales. I've been in sales since birth, by the way, Since I was 9 and had a paper route. Okay. But here's the thing. I used to get frustrated. I would say, like they don't like me or they don't like what I'm selling. They're jerks. I would get mad, right? Which is rookie, rookie move. Instead, now I challenge myself. Ooh, they weren't buying what I was putting down. Okay, how can I manage that better? Where am I falling short? Like how can I fix that and how can I change my approach, right? Like, I think very differently and I love to think of it as a challenge. Cause that makes it like a game. It's so fun. I highly suggest you do that when you're selling anything. Okay. But this is a great story that not only applies to sales, it applies to business. It applies to life, personal relationships, work relationships, jobs, everything. And I want you to remember this, especially if you've never heard it before. It's a well known story, but maybe you haven't. Maybe you just need to be reminded. I need to be reminded of it. Okay? So whenever I would get discouraged, my boss would bring me in, and one day he told me a story, and this is something that stuck with me. So he tells a story, something like this. A father says to his daughter, all right, you just graduated. I'm gonna give you a car. A car I bought a long time ago. It's old, but before I give it to you, take it to the used car lot downtown and tell them that you're selling it, but you need to ask how much they'll give it to you for. You know, what are they gonna buy it for? Daughter comes home and says, dad, they offered me a grand. They said it just looks old. Okay, now go down to the pawn shop and see what they'll give you for the car. She comes back, they'll give me $100 because it's an old car. Okay? Now I want you to go to a classic car, antique car dealer and ask them how much they'll give for the car. She comes home so excited. They offered me $80,000, dad, because it's an iconic car that's sought after by collectors. I had no idea. She's hyped. She's hyped like I am in May. Okay? So the father says to the daughter, this. The right place values you the right way. If you are not valued, don't get angry. It just means you're in the wrong place. Those who know your value and those who appreciate you, those are your people. Never stay in a place where people don't see your value. Never stay. Move on. Okay? So that's a really powerful message, not only for sales, because that's all about kind of like, maybe I'm just pitching the wrong clients. Right? Which is. That's what I learned as a salesperson when my boss taught me that lesson. Heather, go pitch people. Yes. You can get better and refine your pitch and be more confident and be more successful, but sometimes you're just pitching the wrong person. It's the wrong timing, it's the wrong fit. That's okay. Those aren't your people. Right. They might not value your services at that time. Move on to the next one. That's the exact same scenario for personal relationships, for situations at work, for partnerships. It can really apply to most anything. Never stay in a place where your value is not seen and where you are not respected. That is fact. Right? So I really want you to take that message with you today. I don't want you to forget that message. It's so, so important. The right place values you the right way. If you're not valued, you don't need to get angry, you don't need to react.

Just means you're in the wrong place.

And I learned that lesson the hard way. I'd forgotten about it for a while. I remember sitting in our boardroom back when I was in the C suite in corporate America, frustrated, AF like banging my fist on the table. So frustrated, they wouldn't listen to me. And I had pitched myself for a board seat to that company for 14 years and I warranted it. I deserved it. And they needed me on it. They didn't have enough female representation. They didn't have young people that were my age. But they never said yes. And they'd always give me the run around. Yeah, yeah, we'll get back to that. You know, you're doing so great where you are right now. Let's get. We're considering it. It's on the table, right? Like these run around ploys. And instead of holding their feet to the fire, I accepted and allowed for that. Instead of me holding my feet to the fire and saying, you know what? The right place would value me the right way, and they're not valuing me, I'm gonna go ahead and leave. I didn't do that. I had to get pushed out. But two years after I got pushed out, I landed my first board seat, right? So there was always a seat at the table for me. I was just trying to. At the wrong table, right? If you are not valued, don't get angry. It just means you're at the wrong place. I was at the wrong place pitching and getting frustrated and getting angry when I should have just stood up with all of the grace and class in the world, walked out, taken a deep breath, and found the place where I was meant to be, which is ultimately what happened. Okay? God's redirection. I swear this is truth. Trust this. I promise you, it really works. And it was funny. I posted on my newsletter this morning. If you aren't signed up for my newsletter, I have two different ones. One is on LinkedIn.

Can you.

You can subscribe to that newsletter for free or you can go to my website, heathermonahan.com and get on that newsletter. Either one. I have Tons of free resources on my website. By the way, I have how to change sorry into thank you. How to stop apologizing. 30 day accountability partner program, Free ebooks. I've got a lot of stuff, tips and tricks on the site for you that are free. And you can also sign up for my website there. Okay, so here's the thing. Somebody responded to my newsletter today on LinkedIn and said, yeah, Heather, that's easy for you to say, but it's not easy for others. First of all, it wasn't easy. That's what I want to remind you. I'm not saying this was easy. It wasn't like I was, you know, rainbows and lollipops when I got fired. No, the struggle's real. Go back and listen to the beginning of the show, right? Like, it's not seamless, it's not easy. Every day, however, I have faith. Every day that I get up, I'm walking into my calling. I'm living my purpose. I'm doing good to help others. I don't have some master plan. I just continually take bold, massive action every day, knowing those right opportunities are going to show up and knowing I'm going to keep amplifying my voice and putting myself out there. And as I do that, I attract opportunity to me instead of having to chase it all down. Oh, and P.S. i know I mentioned this to you last week that my LinkedIn account had been shut down. Just want to let you know, here we are a week later, completely restored, back up and running and has been and yet again worrying for nothing, right? Like hit a hiccup, there was a problem. LinkedIn actually came back and told me they made a mistake. I was freaking out. I have over 300,000 in my community on LinkedIn and it was really freaking me out. Good reminder, have multiple ways to interface with your communities. I'm grateful for this podcast. I'm grateful for my website, I'm grateful for Instagram, I'm grateful for all the different ways to interface with with people because you don't want to be dependent on one source for income, for leads, for business, for community, or for lifeline. So that is my message for you today. I hope it hits home. Don't forget that story. And again, the right place values you the right way. If you are not valued, do not be angry. It means you are in the wrong place. Those who know your value are, those who appreciate you, those are your people. Never stay in a place where someone doesn't see your value leaving you with that. Today, check the show notes below if you want to apply for my mastermind. I would love to see you there. And until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably, something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. Come on this journey with me.