#438: Unleashing Your Full Potential: Overcoming Complacency with Rick Arce, Partner at Perlman, Bajandas, Yevoli, & Albright, P.L.

Complacency is set in by, by comfort. You get comfortable with what you're doing. So if you're putting yourselves in positions where it's for your own development, but you're a little scared or you're a little apprehensive because you're not sure, it's an uncomfortable environment, good. That's how you know you're not being complacent.

Come on this journey with me each week when you join me, you're going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay. As you know, I love testing and trying different and new things. That's the only way that we can innovate, get better and see what we like. So I can serve you best ways possible. All right, so today. This is crazy. We've never done it before. I never have friends on my show ever. I think I've done it like once or twice, maybe in five years. But today, so interesting. One of my best friends in the world, I've got her hubby today on the show and I'm going to tell you there's a reason why. And you know this because I tell you this all the time. I always feel like I get messages during my week, wherever I'm at. And it hits me, oh, my gosh, you guys would love this. This would add value to your life. This would be powerful for you. So the other night, I'm at my great friend Rick's 50th birthday party. Yeah, shout out. He'd be turning 50 people. And I'm at his birthday party and he and I are just catching up, talking, and he starts telling me this incredible story. It was so, so powerful. And the takeaway was just so wow. It hit me right between the eyes. And it got me thinking. I had to have him on the show. I needed you guys to hear from this man. Incredibly successful, wonderful human being. Like I said, he's married to one of my best friends in the world. He's a commercial business litigator and a partner at his new firm, which you're going to hear in one moment. Rick Arcey, I'm so grateful to have you here today.

Thank you, Heather. It is great to be on. Finally. We're making it happen.

We make it happen. Never give up. We will find a way in a day. And today is that day. All right, Rick, so for everyone listening right now, can you take us back to that story that you shared with me that knocked me over and that I just saw so much value in. When we were catching up at your birthday.

Sure, sure. So what we were talking about was, know, my journey from living in Miami my whole life. And, you know, everyone has their trials and tribulations. And it was. It's just the perfect moment for me to tell you about what was happening with my life at the time and some new developments in my life, like going into Big Brothers, Big Sisters, becoming a board member of Big Brothers, Big Sisters. And so part of that was kind of looking inside and having some thoughts, thoughts about how I handled things in the past and some of the obstacles that I needed to overcome. One of them was, and I explained this to you was, you know, my relationship with my father. Right. It was a horrible relationship initially. I do want to also preface that we reconciled and we became amazing friends towards the end of his life. He's now since passed 10 years ago. But there was a point in time where I was lost, didn't know what I was doing. I had actually dropped out of school, out of high school, because I needed to get the hell out of my house. It was a situation like that. So I was kind of troubled, not figuring out where I was going to go, what direction. And so the story I mentioned to you was I was living in Miami beach and I was dating this girl, and she was a great person, but she had all these issues, none of her own, you know, doing, but they were just as a result of, you know, her family, her siblings were in trouble and her mother had some issues and so all these type of problems. And she's talking to me and she's telling me, you know, I don't know what to do. And she's obviously very bothered about that, and I'm trying to console her. So I tell her, listen, these things are not of your own making, and you've got to move on. You've got to forgive all of these things and all these people, part of your family, that have hurt you or have done things to you. And you can't let that just rot inside that corrosion, okay? That's just going to hurt you at the end. And I'm so. I'm telling her all these things, and they sound really nice. And then I realize, wait, hold on. Like, I should be practicing what I preach here. This is ex. I'm telling her what I should be. Someone should be telling me. It was truly one of the light bulb moments in my life that was like, that inflection point, like, it was a turning point. It was probably the next day, or, like, very shortly after that moment, I went to my house where my parents were living. I was in my 20s. And I told my dad. I'm like, dad, you know what? I forgive you. I forgive you. And he was working in a desk, and I came up to him, and he just kind of looked up, and he was like, yeah, what do you got? And I told him that. He's like, oh, okay. He didn't have an idea as to the impact that was going to have, and quite frankly, neither did I. But I made it a point to say, you know what? This is the moment in time where I am no longer gonna blame things that have happened in my life. I was no longer become a victim. You know, I think it's very easy to just realize that things have happened to you and, you know, always had that victim mentality. Well, it's just because these things have happened because my circumstances are what they are. I can't change them. No, no. That was the moment in time where I said, you know what? I'm not blaming you for my problems anymore. Everything from here on out, it's on my shoulders. Whatever's happened, I have to deal with it, and that's that. And so then from that point on, it was just kind of like trying to fix things. I went back to school, changed everything around, and ultimately became a lawyer. And, yes, you alluded to. I'm at a new firm. The firm is Perlman, behind the Jubilee and Albright. We're in Core Gables. And, yes, I'm one of the litigation partners here. So that, to me, was a moment where it was just. It totally changed everything around for me. And it was an internal mindset. You had to have that mindset and discipline to say, you know what? I don't care what has happened in the past. Your past doesn't define your future.

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I asked you to try to find your passion. Were you afraid going in there? Because when I'm hearing you tell a story, were you afraid to not know your dad's response, what he was going to say? I mean it seemed like he didn't have a major response in the moment, but were you nervous about that?

You know it wasn't for him. It was for me. It was for me at the end that meeting, all it did was it kind of memorialized what I was doing. I needed to have some type of symbolic act where I'm saying, you know, I'm walking past this plane from here on out, things are going to be different. And so I didn't expect him because I knew how he was going to react. I didn't think he was going to be like, oh, really? Thank you. I feel so good. Thank you for forgiving me. He was probably thinking in his mind, wait, you're forgiving me? Like, you should be asking me for forgiveness, you know. And so it was rather, you know, anticlimactic. It wasn't, you know, anything special. But for me, that's all I needed. That's what I needed to do, is have that symbolic moment where it was the end at one point and the beginning of a new phase.

And when you started this new phase, I mean, it's so seismically different than how you were living, right? To go from a victim mentality to I'm taking radical ownership of everything. Moving forward, did you ever have moments where you would fall back to the old way of thinking? Or it literally was like you closed that door and now this was just a new way you were living.

You know, there were occasional temptations in life, as life happens, to always reflect back and have regrets about the past and say, you know, had this not happened, I would be in a different spot now. But, you know, you can't change it. You can't change anything. All you can do is change the future and move forward. So, yes, there was that temptation. I think that temptation lies with a lot of people, not just me, with a lot of people. For different circumstances that may happen. It's always an easy thing to say, well, it's because of this. That's the reason why I'm in this position. Everyone needs to take accountability. Even if it's not your fault, it's your situation, it's your reality. Are you going to let reality just overcome you and succumb to being a victim of your circumstance? Or are you going to take control and say, no, I'm not going to allow this to be my life? Because, you know, at that time, it was a perfect moment because I was not in a right state of mind. I knew things were not well, it's not what I had expected of my life. And so I needed to have that change. And again, it was that light bulb moment. It was just that perfect timing. Literally the Next day or the following, shortly after, I went to go see my dad about that. And from that moment on, things changed. It took time to obviously I had to go to law school. I had to do a lot of things to fix some of the things that had happened in the past because I wasn't a very good student while I was trying to go to school. So I had to really, when I went back to school, I literally had to get like all A's in my classes because I actually transferred into uf. But because when I was much younger, I took some classes in Miami Dade and I wasn't really focused on it and I got poor grades. I really wanted to transfer into the University of Florida. And so I really, for the classes that I needed to transfer in, I needed to get like all eight. And so I did. That's what I did. I just put my focus on doing what I needed to do. I kind of reversed engineer things and say, okay, what do I need to do? This is what I need to do. And you get all A's. Fine. How do I do that? Put my time into studying and just get it done. That was really the mentality. And so finished UF and then went to St. Thomas for law school. Finished it in two years. And then I'm a gluttony for punishment. So I went an extra year for master's in Taxation and Law at the University of Miami, but I ended up being a litigation attorney. I've been doing this for about 15 years now.

Thank you for sharing that because I think that's going to help a lot of people today. And if we put into practice what Rick is sharing with us, it can be life changing for you, just like it was for Rick. So take radical accountability. Forgive those in your life and do it not for them, but like Rick said, when you do it for yourself, you don't have expectations of the other person. Thank you for that. All right, so cut to the other night. We're out celebrating. You just started as a partner at a new firm. You made a huge change in your life. And for everyone you know that's been there and you know I've been there. When you've been at one job for a long time, you've been at one company, you can't even fathom the idea of leaving. But sometimes you've got that itch and you're thinking, you're thinking. And if you're someone right now listening and you're not feeling fulfilled, you're not happy and excited every day when you get up. Oh, my gosh. This story is so for you. I love what Rick shared with me the other night. He's going to share with you now. Rick, take us back a little bit to your previous situation and how you were feeling and how you ended up making this leap and really taking a chance to change your life yet again.

Yeah. So after law school, I essentially was working primarily, for the most part, at one firm. And it was a firm that was comprised of some partners that I had gone to school with and some really, you know, dear friends, really. And one of them is a very good friend, one that I've been going surfing with since we were kids. So these are friends that I've known for a very long time, went to school with. And it was just an easy choice. And, you know, initially things were going in the upward trajectory, and, you know, but eventually what ended up happening that led to my decision to move was really the realization that, you know, I was becoming complacent. You know, I always look at my progression as, like, a graph, as, like a chart. And I needed to constantly be on the up, you know, in an upward trajectory. And I wasn't feeling that. And so complacency is. Is really the devil. And I was comfortable. I wasn't necessarily happy with some of the cases I was dealing with or. Or where I was at that point, despite being with friends. It was a tough thing. You know, it can be scary for some. You know, these guys were friends. It was very comfortable. I was one of the partners there, so it was very easy. But, you know, sometimes you need to have that change. And so I needed to take the bull by the horns, as they say. And I hired a business coach.

Is that something you'd ever done before? Hired a coach?

No, because, you know, I think, like I did at the time, and like many people probably think they're successful, not that I'm calling myself, like, this uber successful guy. I didn't think I needed one. You know, what is a coach going to do? How is she going to help me, or he's going to help me? And I got to tell you, she helped me tremendously. She's an amazing person. She really opened my eyes to a lot of things that I just wasn't. The complacency was kind of clouding my vision and preventing me from accomplishing that upward, positive trajectory that I was so seeking to do and to accomplish. And so she got me out of that comfort zone. And it's been amazing. It's been an amazing experience, you know, since then, I've, like I mentioned earlier, I've joined the board of Big Brothers Big Sisters, which is a tremendous organization, and the people there are just wonderful. They give their time to the kids of our community. And there's no better way in my book to really give back personal. Because it's one thing. And always, you know, money is. Is needed to run these organizations. Sure. But it's someone's time. It's someone's time that is almost, you know, it's invaluable to a child when you're giving that time and you're serving as their mentor.

So wouldn't you also agree that when you do that, which, first of all, I just want to walk you guys through this again. He knew he was getting complacent. He knew he should do something. He didn't know what to do. So, number one, he hired a coach. He invested in himself. Right. Did something he had never done before. So that's, number one, getting outside perspective, outside support and outside expertise. Two, that led him to go join the board of Big Brothers Big Sisters to give back, to put himself in a different arena, put himself in a different environment around different people, helping and serving others, which gave you this tremendous sense of value, give back purpose. So you start really feeling better about yourself and feeling like you're contributing in a bigger way, which I've got to think is changing the way you think.

Absolutely. That was another pivotal moment, hiring my coach, and it's enabled me to get to where I am now. She gave me the confidence essentially to say, you know what? You deserve to fulfill your goals and to do what's right for you. And so, yeah, I had to take that leap and say, you know, guys, I love you, but I need to move on. And that's what it was. And now I'm at my new firm and I'm.

Wait a minute. I want to interrupt that for a second. Were you afraid or concerned how they were going to respond negatively? Were you going to lose the friendship? What if you made the leap and you didn't like it? Tell me if all these fears came into your head or no.

They all did. They all did. I mean, I think the biggest fear is always because you're in a position where you're comfortable, and I was comfortable, and I had friends there, and it was a good environment. The fear is always, am I making a mistake? Because these are like, you know, it's an irreversible type of decision. I'm not going to go back. So it's like I hope where I'm moving to is going to be a better environment. And so, yeah, of course you have to vet it out as much as you possibly can, but there's going to be a component there where it is a leap of faith. And thankfully, I've been here now for a few weeks and everyone's great, fabulous attorneys, it's a great firm. And so, you know, everything's been paying off so far. But, you know, you got to take that leap of faith and sometimes it's scary, but you got to do it. If you want to continue to progress, sometimes you need that change.

Well, I remember one thing that you said to me that hit home for me is you said, I'm asking myself now, why didn't I do this years ago?

Yeah, yeah. And that's, that's the complacency. The complacency would just keep you there and it serves as a wall to your progression. And like I said, sometimes you need that change in order to move forward, even though you're comfortable where you are. I was comfortable where I was, and it was just for me personally, I wasn't going to grow. I wasn't going to continue to grow where I was. And I needed to. I needed to move, I needed to make that change. And it is scary, but absolutely, those are the things that go through your mind, whether you're making the right decision, all the second guessing, but you've got to do it in order to make change. And if it doesn't work, then you continue to move forward, but you got to move forward, take control. You know, again, it goes to that point where you control your destiny. And, you know, if you make a mistake or if it's not the right choice, then you know you can still fix it and do what you can so that you can try to fulfill your goals. And that's what I've been trying to do. And thankfully, I think I've landed in a great spot with great attorneys, and so I'm excited about it.

But none of that would have happened if you hadn't started this domino effect to really crush complacency. Hiring the coach, joining the board of the nonprofit, giving back to charity, starting to see the potential of the life outside of the life you had been living. How do you move forward now? Or how do you set yourself up to make sure you don't get complacent again?

I've just got to keep doing what I am doing. You know, it was all of those things you've described, hiring the coach, those were things that were breaking out of the complexity. And sometimes it's putting yourself in positions where maybe you're not that comfortable because complacency is set in by by comfort. You get comfortable with what you're doing. So if you're putting yourselves in positions where it's for your own development, but you're a little scared or you're a little apprehensive because you're not sure, it's an uncomfortable environment, good. That's how you know you're not being complacent. You're challenging yourself and you're pushing the limits of what your of your comfort zone. Once you get into those comfort zones, then that's when you know, okay, you know what, complacency is settling in. So you got to keep pushing yourself to the point where you feel just maybe a little bit uncomfortable.

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I asked you to try to find your passion so you're reminding me. This is so funny. Years ago I was in my old corporate job, probably much like you. I was just complacent, right? I didn't love what I was doing. It wasn't horrible. It was fine. I'm making great money. It looks great. On paper, everyone thinks I'm super happy. But I felt like what you're describing. I didn't feel like I was growing. I didn't feel like I was getting better. I was just going through life and that is no, that's not living, people. That is not living. And so I remember sharing this with a friend and he said to me, you know what you need to do? And I said, tell me. And he said, you need to take a stand up comedy class. And I said, what? No way. And he said, oh, see that reaction? I said, yeah. He goes, now you absolutely have to do it.

I said, why?

He said, because you feel so uncomfortable about the idea that connected with me, the fact that he said that. I said, you're right. I had a visceral reaction that I absolutely won't do it, but there's no real reason why I can't. Right.

Okay.

Just because I'm so afraid of it, I'm gonna go do it. And it's so funny, when I look back at my life right now, that was a pivotal moment for me. I had no idea. I thought it was the weirdest experience ever, but it taught me about a gift that I had to be able to speak on stages, that I've been speaking on stages for a lifetime, and I never realized it was like something special. I just thought it was something everyone could do. I remember one night at Stand Up Comedy, they said, everyone's just going to take the mic and speak for eight minutes and then we're going to give feedback. And when it was my turn, I was just speaking and speaking, and they had to finally said, oh, you're way over. And I was the only person that went over time. My point is this. I put myself in a different arena around different people, around different coaches, and they pointed to me and said, that's something special that you have there. That's a gift. You should start using it more. And I went home that night thinking, oh, my gosh, I never knew my speaking thing that I did was special. That's so cool. But I wouldn't have known if I didn't put myself in that weird situation to begin with.

That's right. Yeah. That's an amazing story.

But I think back to what you're saying. We have to keep putting ourselves in these environments that are a little uncomfortable.

Sure. That's how you know you're not falling into the trap of complacency.

Well, I'll make a deal with you, my friend. I'll make sure to ask you every time I see you, are you getting uncomfortable this week? Please tell me you're challenging yourself to be uncomfortable and you can do the same for me.

Yep, I will.

All right, Rick, what parting words do you want to leave with the audience? Anyone that is in a situation where they're harboring animosity, anger towards somebody else, they're holding themselves back, or they're sitting in complacency.

Well, on those two issues, I would just say, you know, for me, forgiveness. Forgive what has happened. Forgive your circumstances. If you feel that you have circumstances that are holding you back, you gotta let go. You can't harbor this feeling of resentment because that will only just keep you down. It will only keep you down. So once you release that, you will feel liberated and then you'll be able to go ahead and pursue your, your dreams and your goals. And then when it comes to, you know, complacency, you know, again, it's just you can't feel comfortable. Always push yourself because that's how you know how far you're going to be able to go.

And the world needs everybody living to their potential so that we can make this place a better place for our kids that are coming up before you know it.

Oh. As you know, I got an 8 year old, so yes. Amen to that.

Amen to that. All right, Rick, how can everybody find you, keep up with you and connect with you?

Well, I'm on LinkedIn. That's my professional page. I have Instagram. You can find me there. Rick rc, I think is my handle. Or you can look me up on Instagram, on LinkedIn, @ricardo rc. You'll see my bio, see my expertise and hit me up.

Hit up Rick RC on LinkedIn. Keep coming back next week. We're going to be working with you, creating more confidence in your life. Take some action from this episode today. Find somebody in your life that you can forgive and find some way today that you can challenge yourself. Rick, thank you so much for being here.

Thank you for having me, Heather.

All right, guys, until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone.

You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it.

Come on this journey with me.