#71: John Walsh Founder of StandoutX on Standing Out to Craft A Meaningful Life

Come on this journey with me each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close up. Hi and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back with me this week. And for any of you parents that are home zoom schooling your kids, my heart goes out to you. I'm in it with you. I am the lunch lady and I burnt my hand last week and it's been a real headache. I'll tell you, being not only the parent that gets your kids ready, you know, to go off to school in the morning, but then trying to work room by room, side by side and not disturb the other one, and then make lunch in the middle of the day and then try to regroup and see how classes are going while you're trying to get your work done. And then I'm changing my schedule to make sure I'm not doing shows or interviews when he's in school because there's just no way to manage the noise. It is total and complete chaos. So if you are in it, wow, I am so feel, I feel for you and empathize with you. And I say that because someone said to me today, oh, well, you wouldn't know, you know, you have it totally together. No, I do not. And it is really trying at times. And you know, it's not about our kids. It's just, it's a complete new layer of responsibility and work and adapting with schedules and wow, it is, it's wild. So I'm with you. Okay, so to that point, actually around the coronavirus, you know, before everything happened. Let me just take it back before that. Okay. So my past life was in corporate America. I was a chief revenue officer. I was named one of the most influential women in radio. And I got fired unexpectedly when the CEO I worked for for 100 years became ill. He elevated his daughter and she fired me. So I took that opportunity to write and self publish my first book, Confidence Creator. I googled how do you sell books? And it said speak. I'd been speaking for years for free, didn't know it was a business. So I started cold calling companies and pitching myself to speak for free. And everyone said yes. And so I was super busy speaking everywhere. And then finally someone said, what's your speaker fee? And then I googled speaker fees and then I learned about speaker speaker agencies and bureaus and I started pitching myself for them. And then I got a ton of agents and then my speaking business Took off and that became my primary focus. This goes back to. You don't need to know the how, right? When I went to work for myself, I didn't know what I was going to do. And you don't need to know the how today. Just know that, okay? I did not know the how on any of this. I just kept taking action and kept getting up and swinging and going for it. And the way just started becoming more and more clear. So I was speaking a lot. I did this huge event in Boston where I got to interview Sarah Blakely and Jesse Itzler live on stage. I headlined for the WNBA in Las Vegas. I spoke for MGM Casino. I mean, I've been speaking all over this country, so many amazing events, and it's been so fun and rewarding and I've loved it. And it definitely. I was like, okay, this is what I'm meant to be doing. Finally, I got it. This is my business. I was not even a year into it. Well, maybe about a year. Maybe it was about a year in and the pandemic hit. Oh, I had given my TEDx talk. I got promoted to TED, translated to six languages. I was like, okay, things are finally starting to click. Momentum. We all need momentum, right? And then the pandemic hit. And then I jumped on my peloton and thought, what do people ask me for that I haven't had the time to deliver for them that I could charge for now? And that was mentoring and coaching, executive coaching. I had been asked for years to do this, and I would just say, no. Here is a huge mistake. Don't make this mistake when people ask you for things and you don't have time to do it. Create a spreadsheet and store their information there. I would have had a lead list of a thousand people who had reached out to me asking to hire me that I had told no to previously. I could have circled back to all of them. Easy, okay, Seamless. So don't make that mistake that I made. If people are asking you for something now, take note of it and create a leads doc, okay? Somewhere. I did not do that. That would be far too easy for me. So I've tried a million different ways to spin up pipelines because the goal is to create automation in your business, ease of your business, efficiency of your business, so you can focus on the one thing you should be doing, which in my case, in this instance would be when I'm on the phone coaching someone, right? That's. No one can replicate that. That's what they're Paying, but unfortunately I wasn't there yet. So I've had to try 9 million different ways and test different concepts and programs and fail and fail and fail and do okay and then fail and then okay and then better, better, better. It's all over the board. When you're a rookie and you're. I'm a rookie in this business. I just launched it at the end of April. So this is all going on and all the speaking engagements I had for this year were canceled. And then slowly I've been getting inquiries about virtual speaking and I've done, you know, probably 10 virtual speeches at this point now since the pandemic hit, but they don't pay as much. It's great, but it's, you know, it's not quite the same as being live on stage with people, being there with you, of course. So again, I haven't really been putting much focus, time or energy into that portion of my business because in my mind I just thought as another year away and, you know, we'll pick that back up when we get there. But right now I should focus on the executive coaching, my podcast and my new book. And wouldn't you know, I get an email from my agent saying, hey, you know, you were supposed to do this event October 14th in New York City. We canceled it because everyone canceled. And now they're looking at transferring this whole huge event into a huge virtual event. And they want to know if you're still willing to do it. So they, they connected me with the head of the event and he was super cool and so nice. And of course they're reducing my pay. And it's funny because in some instances, and I'll tell people this often, you know, don't do things for free. Don't allow your pay to be reduced because of situations outside of you. Your value did not get reduced. You're still going to deliver, you know, over the top, amazing value. Why would you shortchange yourself? And I do believe that. However, I also believe there are unique instances and you have to check in with yourself to know which ones the right ones are. I'm not saying just to do something to be nice for people, but evaluate what that longer tail opportunity may be. And I understand that can be challenging and hard. I get it. Because for a long time I was doing everything for free. When I first got fired, because I wanted to make a name for myself in these new arenas, I was entering into the new arena of author, the new arena of professional speaker, the new arena of host, whatever it was. So I started just, you know, okay, I'll do it, I'll do it. And then pretty quickly, I saw I was doing so much for free, I wasn't able to drive revenue. That's when I started pivoting, started charging, et cetera. But it is. It's a little ambiguous as to what is the time to do it. For reviews and recommendation. What is the time to do it? To charge. How do you know what to charge? That's like this gray space that it's hard to have someone tell you what to do. You kind of have to feel it out. The marketplace will determine what your value and worth is. And so that's what I sort of started thinking with this event. I thought, you know what? The marketplace will determine, obviously, if I set my pricing too high, as I had been at the live event, they're saying now they can't pay what they paid at the live event rate, which I do understand and has been consistent with everyone that I've worked with. No one that I had worked with previously is offering me live event fees for virtual. So I realized the marketplace has changed. However, I have checked in with a couple of my friends and a couple of them still landed their live event rate for virtual, which I thought was interesting, but I haven't. So anyhow, so this is a huge event, great opportunity, and would put me in front of so many decision makers in one moment, albeit virtual.

Right.

So I thought, and I just said, you know what? Something tells me, to me the guy was so cool and such a good guy and really felt my pain and shared his pain around this whole challenging time and how circumstances were really tough on everyone. And I just thought, I like doing business with good people at the end of the day. And this guy might be able to help me because he's big in the event space. You know, I was really hitting my stride on the speaking side. Now he's going to get a chance to work with me. I'll do a great job for him. And okay, so I said I would take the reduction in fee and work with him and I'll kill it for him. And wouldn't you know, I had no idea, Zero idea. He comes out with a press release the next day. This is last week, and the headline was something crazy like, you know, 75amazing speakers, including Daymond John, Heather Monahan and Kevin Harrington. Me in between these two iconic sharks. And then it goes on to say these iconic speakers are keynoting the event together. And it was the way that he. He explained it and the Proximity. He put me in with huge names and people who are years ahead of me in the speaking business. Right. Because I just got into this business a year ago. Doesn't matter. I was speaking for 20 years. Forget that. Because if you're not in the speaker circuit, you're not known or you're not realized or you're not seen as valuable. You have to establish that. And one of the ways is proximity to other major speakers. So I have spoken with other major speakers, but. But to see this come out of pandemic and out of this virtual world, I didn't expect it. I was so excited. And it was one of those, you know, kick me moments of, okay, I'm so glad that I worked with this guy. I'm so glad he was such a nice guy and willing to support and help me. And I'm so grateful they picked me to be one of the keynotes alongside the two Shark Tank Sharks. So it was just, again, one of those things. Listen, you can string together a hundred bad days, but when that one unexpected good day does show up, because you've just been putting the work in, doing the right thing and showing up every day, it is overwhelmingly exciting. And it kind of took me back to real life old days where, you know, you just never know who you're going to run into the airport or what's going to happen next. And it seemed less like that since we've been in the pandemic, because I don't go out very much at all. You know, I try to stay home a lot. My son's homeschooling with me all day long. So we are homeschooling home a lot. The majority of the time. That's not like my old life. So just by coincidence and running into people, you know, things would happen all the time before, and that's kind of gone now. So it was just a great reminder for me that just because greatness doesn't seem to be happening in every moment, sometimes it's bubbling up under the ground and you don't see it, but it's about to smash through. And when it does, it's going to give you such a amazing surprise. So that's kind of how I'm feeling right now, which is so grateful. I'm grateful for all the work I put in before the pandemic hit. Right. Cause that got me to the spot to get this opportunity and land that opportunity. I'm grateful to my agent for even reaching out to me to say, I don't know what you think about this But I want to talk to you about it. I think it's a great opportunity, you know, but however, you're going to have to hit it on your B and see what you think about that. And I'm grateful for this man that agreed to partner with me and help me any way he could. And in the end, he sure did. So surround yourself with good people, work with people that you get a good feeling about. Put in the work, keep showing up even when you don't know if the dots are gonna connect because it's in the moment you least expect it. Like being in a pandemic to get a head lining PR news release like what I got last week, it's shocking to me. So didn't see this one coming. And I'm excited for you, for all the good that's coming to you when you keep putting the work, because it's coming. Just keep going. I'll be right back. Hi and welcome back. I am so excited for you to meet my guest today, John Walsh. Thanks for being here.

Hi, Heather. It's good to be here. It's good to see you. And by the way, happy belated birthday.

Thank you. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. All right, so let's get to it. When I am pitched people all the time to come on my show, it's insane. And when I received the pitch, first of all, you and I self published with the same company scribe shout out to our boy jt. Amazing company to work with. If you're thinking of self publishing, definitely Scribe Media. But when the scribe team reached out to me and pitched me on you, I said yes immediately, which I never do. And the reason I believe I felt like that was looking not only at your success, obviously you're exceptionally successful, accomplished individual and if someone has achieved a lot of success, I want to drop that knowledge for all of our people here. But even more importantly, you had been homeless and you transitioned from being homeless to becoming a VP at Disney, a VP at msg. I mean, you've now branching out and starting your own company. I couldn't wait to sit down and have you tell me the story. Take me through. How did you make that happen?

First of all, thank you for having me and I'm glad I get to share the story. I haven't really shared the story with many people because it's something that's super personal, private. I'm not even sure my parents know that I've shared this story with a few people. So when they listen to this podcast, it's gonna Be quite interesting. And I'd like to think that there was this one moment in time, you know, people have that life changing event or whatever else. Mine just happened over time and you know, just through no one's fault but my own. You know, completely owning my own life. You know, my parents have gone through a divorce and it wasn't a great home situation at the time. My parents, poor them, I mean, dealing with three kids and teenagers and all. But I found myself homeless in high school and you know, I spent. I grew up outside of Washington D.C. in Northern Virgin, and I had no place to go. What is a senior in high school going to do? Like, where do you go? What do you do? And I would walk railroad tracks at night to try to stay warm. I slept in homes that were being built. You know, when they build homes, they construct the homes and then the first thing that goes in is the bathtub, right? And I would sneak into these construction homes and sleep in bathtubs. And I remember a family took me in once. I got fortunate once that a family took me in. I was there for about two months. I had some money saved up and I remember going to the bank once to pull out money from an atm and it took my card and there was nothing there. The family had grabbed my atm. The kid that I was going to school with had kind of looked over my shoulder, caught my pin code and they wiped me clean. They took all my money. So then I was really homeless at that point. And so I spent probably the better part of a year and a half in and out of, you know, different homes and finding places to go. So it was a real challenge back then. But I think everyone goes through adversity and that just happened to be mine at the time.

Wait a minute. I feel like you're downplaying this so much because you're a father, I'm a mother. I mean, when I hear this story, my heart is breaking. And it's so interesting to me to see who you are today and try to imagine and try to put myself in those shoes. I truly can't imagine how scary that must have been. Every single day.

It was scary. My parents, I mean, poor, they were doing the best that they could. And I was the rebellious kid. And you know, they. I forced their hand, I guess, you know, I gotta own what happened. It wasn't their fault. And just so you and everyone else knows, I love my parents to death. Everything's wonderful now. But at the time it was just difficult and it was. I didn't know When I woke up, you know where I was going to be. And I downplayed a little bit because I just recently left New York City, where I was up there with Madison Square Garden. And to me, that's true homelessness. When you see those people on the streets and just what they have, and it's heart wrenching, you know, it really, really is. And so, you know, for me, growing outside of Washington, D.C. with this Suburban. I just didn't quite have it as I just. Maybe I'm downplaying it a little bit too much. But it was difficult at that time. It really, really was. But I'll tell you, I think it's one of the things that drives me.

I really do, for sure, and I agree wholeheartedly. Our most difficult moments in our life become our fuel to success. Because even when the pandemic hit, I remember saying to myself, okay, I got through getting fired. I got through 0809 when the company, we cut a third of our employees. I got through this. I got through my childhood. If I got through those things, that is an indication I will absolute come out on top in this one, too. And when you enter into situations with that attitude and that conviction, there's very few things that can stop you.

No question about it. No question about it. And it's definitely something that fuels me. I'm a very big believer, and I write about it in my book. I'm a huge believer in your past, your present, and your future. You can be a victim of your past. Like, I know you like to talk about villain, and I think a lot of people use their past as their villain. Right? But I think your past can be fuel. So I'm a big believer in your past. I' huge believer in mindfulness and being in the present moment. And then I'm even a bigger believer. And you got to have a direction where to go. So for me, my past is connecting me to where I'm going in my future, and it's what drives me.

So how did you go from homeless to success? What, what are some of the key steps that you took to advance yourself?

I think it's a couple things. I dabbled in a number of different careers. I was going to be in the airline industry. I was going to be in the record industry. I was going to be a lawyer. And I've worked in all these different places, you know, trying to find myself, right. And I ended up for a law firm for a while, and I was there for probably I was doing like, legal research, that kind of thing. Project management. And I was there for probably eight years. And, you know, I know that you talk a lot about confidence, and I just didn't have any confidence that I was good at school. I mean, I was not a great student. I had dabbled in school a little bit, and I would sign up for classes, but never had the confidence to kind of go through it. And at one point, I had 32 credits under my belt, and I had a 0.00 GPA because I just. I didn't go to class or I just withdrew or whatever else. And so. But I don't know, I took one class, and I know you like to talk about this. You talk about you just have to do it. You just have to start it, and then you build confidence. And so I took one class and got an A, and then I took a second class and got an A. And then I'm like, hey, I might be. Might be able to do this right? And so I was working at the law firm, going to school morning and night. I was coaching AAU girls basketball, and I just got the bug. And I, like, I started getting that confidence a little bit that I could do it. And I ended up walking away from the money I was making, which at the time was pretty good. Good to go back to school. And I got into the University of Virginia, and I just worked really, really hard, and I set a goal for myself and lots of goals and everything else. And I just never wanted to go backwards. I always wanted to go forward. And so I would use the, hey, I'm 10 years later. Than, like, when most kids were going to school. I did that same thing ten years later when most kids were doing their internship. I did it 10 years later. And I always felt like I was catching up to the self that I was supposed to be. And so I just did that. I had help along the way, you know, as we all do. We all need help along the way, but I just got the bug, and I got a great job working for Disney. As I started at the lowest level. Imagine going back to school at 30 and starting all over with your career at 30. I know a lot of people are like, oh, I'm 25, or I'm 35, and I don't know, I was 30 and, like, just starting, you know? And so it just started from there.

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So you just reminded me of this episode that I did a few months back with Trevor Wad. I don't know if you know who he is, but I need to connect you to him. He tells this great story when he came on the show about, I believe it was a professional athlete and he always thought he was stupid and had no confidence in school and that wasn't for him. And he, you know, he wasn't enough. And so he would have terrible grades. And then they were transitioning him through sports to go to some school and they said, oh, you have to take this test. And he said, well, I'm not going to be able to pass anyhow. They gave him the wrong results by mistake. It was complete fluke. And he got this amazing score sent to him that he did exceptional. And from that day forward, he was killing it. And he did so well. And they find out years later it wasn't his score. And he realized and reflect back on that was the change moment of my life, is that I thought, I am smart. And once he agreed to allow himself to think, I am enough, I can do this, he never went backwards again.

I do remember that story now. I do. I love, like inspirational motivational videos. And one of them I love was. And it's a great question. It's like if you woke up from a coma today and you were told that you were a Navy seal, do you think you would act differently? And I think we can tell. Yeah, like, I think, yeah, I mean, like, we can tell. We tell ourselves these stories and, you know, so I think if you tell yourself the story and you believe it, you can actually do it. And it sounds like that's what he did. And that's certainly what I was doing. I was telling myself, I am this person. I can be this person. I know Matthew McConaughey talks about this. It's that person that he's chasing himself 10 years from now. So I always have that 10 year from now person and I have the 10 year ago person that pushing and pulling me at the same time.

So good. I love that. The 10 years before and the 10 years after. So, all right. You start at Disney at the lowest level possible. How do you go from the lowest to the highest executive level?

It's a great question. I get that all the time because I went from an intern to an executive in about nine years and I just moved very quickly and I really focused on a couple things like I didn't do. I always loved to telling people, don't do the Table stakes don't do all the things like work hard and take on the big projects and you know, all that kind of stuff. I took a little different approach of like, I'm going to make my boss look really good. I'm going to be the smartest guy in the room about the business itself. And then I'm going to somehow find skills that complement each other. Like, I'm not going to be just a great financial analyst. I'm going to be a great financial analyst that can tell stories and help drive strategy. Right? And so I was always that one. That's kind of where standout started to happen for me is I was always that one thing above. And I think it really took me to a point in my career where I got to an executive. But then the key is you have to continue to do it. And I became an executive and I stayed there at that same level for about nine years. Now imagine here's a kid who is homeless. He gets with this great company at Disney. He has this nine year career with Disney where he's just moving through the ranks and then you hit it and you plateau. Like what do you do? And I had kind of a forcing event that happened to me. And one of the things in that forcing event was to read a book. And I read this book and it was what Got yout Here Won't get you There. And it changed, like, oh my goodness. Right. And so I went back, I went deep into personal development, reinvented myself, worked so hard like to say, okay, I'm a different person coming out. And then my career has kind of taken off again from there. So it's been a great ride. I know you love to talk about journey and the journey you're on and your listeners are all on their own journey and that's sort of mine. I love being on this journey.

I totally relate to that plateau period. And it's funny. And I also believe sometimes it's okay, right? So when you push yourself so hard for a window of time, it's okay sometimes to take a break in a moment in time, a year or two years, whatever that looks like for you. For me, that was when I was having my son and you know, different things going on at home. So I've learned to take pressure off myself. However, like you, that window went on way too long. And then I became that horrible comfortable and it was my routine and I didn't really love it and I wasn't growing at all and. And I was getting frustrated and this just accelerated and accelerated to the point where inevitably for me, I ended up getting fired. And then that's when I went on my own. However, when I hear you tell your story, I look back and that resonates with me that I got into that real comfort zone for a while. So good for you that you pulled the ripcord and you said, I'm going to do the work. And this has nothing to do with the office or anything else. This is about me.

That's exactly right. I mean, you originally asked the question about what got me from one place to the other. And I think really there's two things I would share. One is you just have to take risks in life. And I took risks. I went back to school when I was older. I left Disney when I was building a wonderful 18 year career there. I've recently left my senior executive job at Madison Square Garden. So I think you have to take risks in life if you want to kind of go to that next level. And then the other one is I think what you put into yourself is what you're going to get out of yourself. And so every time when I look back in hindsight, I always look back and like, the reason I got from one point to the other in these different points in my journey is because I put something into myself. Whether it's going back to school or, you know, really investing in myself from the business perspective, or really investing in myself on a personal growth level. I think those are two really, really powerful things. And I think the third is surrounding yourself with amazing people. I mean, I know you've heard it and it's, it's so true. But you're the average of the five you spend the most time with. And I think just putting the right people around you is so critical. Right? And I think those three things, if you don't have those, it doesn't mean you can't make it. But I think that that's just, that's really important. And I think I would say one more thing, which is you have to have a focus on someone else. Like, it can't be about you. I was on a podcast earlier today and the host was talking about, you know, going through adversity and how do you come come out of diversity. And he was talking about his adversity and he talked about he's proud of himself because he's got these like, diplomas on the wall now and he has the like all these great things. And I said if you were to take all those diplomas down and you were to put up pictures and the success stories of the people that you impacted. What would your wall look like? And he went blank because he is like, I don't know. And I'm like, so you're like, so it's like you're proud of yourself and it's great. You should be. But like, don't do things for yourself. Do them for, you know, do them for other people. Right? And that's what motivates you and drive you. And that's one of the reasons why I left Madison Square Garden is because I to my own company and writing this book. Cause I firmly believe in helping other people. I know you do the same thing. That's what you know.

So you know what's so funny? You just like gave me this reflect on my own life real fast. And when I, when I was an entrepreneur and wrote the book and was doing speaking engagements, I didn't get to see a lot. I mean, I would get messages like, you know, this book was changed my life or a note here or there. However, what's different now during this crappy pandemic is that now that I'm doing the executive coaching and the mentoring program, I'm a through line in these people's lives now for months. And so I now have like when you just said, could that guy put up. I have the pictures, I have the stories. Like, it's crazy to see how. And it's cool because before, from a stage, you didn't get to follow through the journey. You hear the feedback in a moment and then you fly away. And that is one cool thing now that you just made me realize that is I have those things to put all over every wall in my house. And I'm sorry, grateful for those moments.

And that's probably when you walk out in the morning because there's some days I'm sure you like, I just don't feel like doing this or whatever else. But you look at that wall and you look at the success of the people around you, which by the way, is exactly what people are going to remember. People aren't going to remember my story. Maybe they will, but they're not going to remember me because I was an executive at Disney. And your role, you know, and Madison Square, they're not going to remember us for that. They're going to remember us because that person changed my life. I did something because of that person. And that's what they're going to talk about. And that's what fuels me. And I know a lot of the guests that you've had on have talked about that. It is so true. It's hard to practice, but it's so true.

It really is. All right, let's get into standout, and let's get into what you've done since you've made the leap into this whole new world.

Yeah. So I've launched a book. It's called the Standout Experience. And really what it is, is I've been trying to find a way to kind of codify, if you will, my journey and how did I go from one place to the other. And at the same time, I'm really focused on students and young professionals. I did a lot of recruiting in my career and I see students and young professionals coming out and they're just not ready for life after school. And there's a lot of confusion about who am I, what am I going to do? I mean, even you don't have to be a student, young professional. You could be in your mid career and be thinking about the same thing. And I know there was a lot of challenges. And then I also know that everything you want to know about personal development and career success and all that is out there, everything you need to know, you can Google it, you can take courses. I mean, your courses are fantastic, by the way. I love your courses in your mentoring program. There's so much amazing information out there, but there's no way to like, okay, so I read this book, I've gone to this class, I've done this. What does it mean? Right? And so I basically created a playbook. I looked back on my own life and said, I know how now. I went from point A to point B and I know how all this work streams together. And so I created a playbook. I created a blueprint. And it just so happens it forms the acronym of my company, Standout X. But I think if people walk through that, I think that there's an opportunity there for people to stand out, be amazing in their career and their industry, and go on to do great things. So that's where the book sort of came from and what standout is all about.

So you shared with me that just starting to standing out is that journey. And I think that's a big one to explain to people because, John, you know, some people are petrified of standing out.

I get that. When I go on speaking circuits a lot, I'm like, I ask people, you know, who wants to stand out. And some people don't want to because it's like, don't look at me, look at me, look at me. But I've said it. And I tell everybody that I coach and mentor, whatever else I said, everybody wants to stand out. Everybody. At some point, if you're going for that job or that promotion, there's on average 250 applicants for every one corporate job, right? And so you're gonna have to be that one selected. You're gonna have to stand out in order to do that, whether you want to or not. There's 8 billion people in the world, and if you want to find a husband or a wife or whatever else, then there's that one, right? There's always. There's that moment in your life where there's that one, that one time. And by the way, you're only gonna live one life. And I hope for everyone that it's a standout life. And so I like to sort of come back at people and say, you don't want to stand out, or do you really? Right. And I think it's about standing out when it matters most, not, like always. Look at me. Big celebrity, big kind of whatever else. There are moments in your life where you must stand out. If you want to get to where you want to go, what you want to do, you just have to. There's times you just have to be that one.

How do you get people to step into that, to step into that spotlight? Because you almost want to push them into it because you know they'll be great once they get out there. But something's got them locked up.

Something's got them locked up. And I think the playbook helps. We talked a little bit about it. There has to be some kind of fuel to the fire. It's, you know, sometimes we as coaches and we have to sort of help light that fire sometimes, but other times there is that fire. They just don't know how to get there. And I think that what I. What I hopefully do in this book is sort of say, okay, if you want to go from just starting to standing out, let's start at the beginning. And the beginning is taking control of your life and yourself, you know, really understanding who you are, what you want and being yourself. Because I think a lot of people struggle because they're not really living as themselves. They're unsure about where they want to go. It's so funny because I talk about when we all want to go on vacation, we do all the research. You go online, you look for the best fares, you find the place to go, you find the seats, you book everything, like what clothes I should bring, everything else you pack for it like, you get your son all ready and all the things that he needs. You guys go on a trip, you know exactly where you're going. You walk into the airport. But in the, like, airport of life, we. It's almost like walking into the airport unpacked, and, like, where do I want to go today? Right? And I think people struggle a bit because they don't know who they are, which is their point A, and they don't know where they're going, which is their point B. And if we can help people start there, then we can connect the dots for them. And I think that's what standing out is all about.

You make a great point. We don't all know where we're going. I don't know where I'm going. You know, when this, like we were saying before, when the pandemic hit, that changed everything, and you don't know where you're going all over again. One of the things that I'm starting to learn, gosh, I can't believe it's taking me this long, is that it's almost okay not to know where you're going. You just need to start going to figure that out. Would you agree with that?

I do. I totally agree with that. And in my book, I talk about, there's four end points, four destinations, if you will, for people. I call it the pinpoint. There are folks that just know exactly what they want to do. Right. I want to be an Olympic swimmer, or I'm going to start this company. And you know what? What? We plug them. Good for them. And typically, the problem is with that is once they get to that point, they don't know what happens next. Right? Look at Michael Phelps. Look at. There's people that get to that point, and then where do you go from there? So that's one. The second one is there are people that are told what they should do, and they kind of go down that path. They head down there. I call it the mistaken identity. You get to that very end point, you're like, this isn't what I'm supposed to be. And this isn't. This isn't me. Right? The third group, or the group that I call the Wanderers, they are just like, idle. I'm just kind of moving through life. They live one year. I love. Robin Sharma is one of my favorites. He talks about, you live the one year 80 times. You call it a life, right? But they're wandering. They're kind of all over the place and never really reaching a destination. And then I think the fourth group is what I call that's the standout group. And those are the folks that understand who they are, like what's important to them, their core values. And they have a general idea. It's almost like it's not a pinpoint, but at least I know generally what I want to do. Like I think if we can get people to understand that I want to help people. I don't know I'm making it up, but help people do a certain thing or I want to work outside, I love nature, I want to help young kids. Whatever else it is, there's a general idea and that's what you're talking about. You're marching towards that general idea, but you've got the flexibility to say I could actually solve it a number of different ways. But at least I'm marching towards an idea of what that is. And I'm not going to vary from that idea. I don't know exactly where it's going to land. And by the way, I might change course, but at least I have a notion of where I'm going. And I think that's what you're talking about is people heading towards more of a general idea.

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Described the number two person, the one that was on a journey and had a destination in mind and then got there and said no, that was definitely me. I remember the realization one day that I had my job and my life is Consumed with making rich people richer. That doesn't feel great. And I ended up having to spend a lot of time at nights and the weekends doing charity work because I was so disconnected from the mission, you know, and the purpose of what I was doing during the day, that I was trying to do something that I connected with, which would take more time away from my son, which would take more time away from the gym. It was so disjointed and I didn't have that realization that I could maybe merge these two entities and actually work and get paid and be living a purpose driven life. However, to get from that person to person number four that you described, which is the path that I'm on now to say I'm just going to step into unknown, I'm going to keep going, I'm going to move forward, I'm going to change, I'm going to pivot and I'm going to figure it out, but I'm going to lead a purpose driven life where I show up as my best self. That was hard because I had lived 43 years that other way.

Yeah, I tell the story, it's that I'll share the story with you. That I had that moment too. And I think a lot of us sort of kind of get there and then we have the moment. I think part of what I'm trying to do is help people identify that before they take all that time to get there and then they have to kind of re pivot. And my story is especially being this homeless kid. As I had finally made it, I did everything I was supposed to do. The senior vice president, finance and strategy for Madison Square Garden, right. Radio City Music Hall Forum in la. Like all this great, wonderful stuff. I had made it, the homeless kid had made it. And my family was living down here in central Florida and my daughter, and I'm divorced and now remarried with my beautiful wife and my daughter from a previous marriage had come up to see me in New York and it was over spring break. And, you know, I took her around, we went, we went and saw Hamilton, we did all this stuff. It was great, right? It was like, that was the greatest thing. Daddy's the vice, you know, senior vice president. I got her in backstage, it was just terrific. So I go to take her home, like put her on the plane to go see her mom and I take her to the gate. And of course, you know, they had the agent, you know, sort of take the child onto the plane and it started to snow and I'm sitting there at the window like, the proud dad watching her, you know, watching his daughter get on the plane and go and taking her flight. And it starts to snow so hard. You know, the plane goes over and it starts to de ice, and then it goes to the end of the Runway, and it starts taxing down the Runway. And by this time, the snow was so heavy that when the plane took off, it got about 15ft in the air and it disappeared. And I turned around, and I was in the middle of jfk, you know, where you're kind of in the middle and all the gates are around the side. I don't know what happened. I physically couldn't stand. I sat down in the middle of the terminal, and I started crying harder than I've ever cried in my life. And I'll tell you that comparing that moment to when I was homeless in high school, that moment was probably ten times more difficult than when I was ever homeless. And I was thinking to myself, and I kept telling myself, I even had a lady come up and say, sir, are you okay? Because I was. I'm, like, shaking, and I. I'm, like, kind of going back and forth, and I'm like, what am I doing? Like, what am I doing? I've got the title and the money, and the homeless kid has made it, but what am I doing putting my daughter on a plane, not being with them all the time? And it was at that moment where I made the decision that I'm chasing the wrong important thing, and I'm chasing that kind of point in time. That's not me. This is me. My book, the programs that I'm trying to do, helping young people, helping other people find their way before the. They go through the same thing. And I made a decision at that moment that I'm changing what's important to me. And I did the same thing that you did. I got to that point and I said, this just isn't me. It's just not. And I get teary just even thinking about that story today. And it affected me pretty deeply.

How did that change your relationship with your child? How did those next steps affect your personal life?

I didn't let her know because I have to be the strong daddy, right? And I didn't let her know, but. But I had always asked her, you know, what did she want me to do? And she said, I want you to come home. I want you to start standout X and be here all the time. And so when I. When I left my job and I remember picking her up from her mom's house, and we had just gotten a new puppy. And so the puppy was in. She was all excited. And I said, I got some really good news, sweetheart. Daddy is doing standout X. I am here full time. And she. It was the greatest moment of my life. It was amazing. So I'm here now all the time. I get to see her and. And I don't care how much money I've given up and whatever else. And I don't care if standout X doesn't make a dime if I help one person. And I'm here for my family. My definition of success right there.

Oh, that is such an amazing story. I mean, that is just un flipping believable. I'm so proud of you. What a great decision you made. And thank God you had that breakdown. Thank God she flew into that snow. Thank God all those things happened so that it could really hit you that hard. Because otherwise it's tough to leave.

It's hard.

Those golden handcuffs.

It's so hard. It's so hard. Now, the downside of that is she won't fly on a plane alone anymore because I guess it was a really bumpy ride as she was leaving. But, yeah, it was one of those things where sometimes when you're doing the wrong thing, someone, something has to tell you, you're doing the wrong thing. And that's kind of what it was, I think, for me.

Me.

Wow, that's a really, really powerful story. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. I really. That's really impactful, and I hope that it helps everyone to reflect on their life where they are right now and how committed they are to what their purpose is. Do they feel that passion? Do they feel connected to the right things and to start noticing the people that matter to you in your life.

Yeah, I think that's exactly right. I talk about this a little bit in my book. I'm a firm believer that we all have this. I know everyone's chasing their purpose, like, what am I? What's my purpose? And all. And I make the argument in the book that we all have the same purpose. And I believe this wholeheartedly. We just have to all find our individual missions to fulfill that purpose. But I believe that our purpose is simple, which is be the best that I can be with whatever I've been given, be a leader to help other people be the best that they can be and then make a difference in the world. And I approach every day everything I do with that in mind. And like, I look at being at Madison Square Garden, I Was I, I guess, being the best I could be, except I wasn't being the best dad. I was at least being the best worker. Maybe I was leading, but it really wasn't making a difference. And things were breaking down there. So I kind of. That's my model. And what's interesting about that is that we all expect that. Think about a spouse, think about an employee. When you hire an employee, what are you looking for? You're looking for someone who's going to bring the best that they can be for whatever skill they have, that they're a future leader in the organization. And then they're going to do something to make a difference in your organization, to make a difference better. Right. Our own lives are that way. We spend the first part of our lives developing into who we are. Then we eventually take on some kind of a leadership role. Maybe it's a parent or whatever else. And then later in life, we're like, what does it all mean? And what's my legacy at the end of the day? So I like to chase that sort of purpose and then just kind of help people find that mission. So I don't know. I don't know where I went off on that one, but that's kind of my.

But you know, you just brought up legacy. And I just recently lost someone very special to me, who has been a mentor to me for years. And what he imparted on me when he passed, which was a big learning moment for me. I used to think legacy meant like your book, leaving this book behind, like this roadmap behind for others. That's the legacy. But what he taught me was the legacy is what he leaves behind in me. And to carry that purpose and mission and meaning and goodness to the world. On that, you can inspire and develop people through their life and their career, and they are. Or your legacy that live on when you're no longer here.

100% correct. And I'm sure that person was not just you, but probably touched a number of lives and they're all feeling the same way. Right. And I think that's absolutely right. That is 100% right. And so I think that's just what we have to do, is we have to leave that some people make a difference where they start. Great companies, they're very well known and good for them and. But I don't think you have to always do that. I know. You know, like, I was nervous coming on your show a little bit. Cause I look at the guest list and I look at everyone on there. I'm like, gosh, I'm just, I'm like, not there. I don't have a multi billion dollar company or whatever else. But all the standout experience is all about having, making an impact and making a difference in people, people's life. And if I can share my story and it helps one person. I know you talked about that with your book. You're like, you kind of repositioned it for yourself and said, if I can get just one person to think differently or do something different, you know, that is the standout experience. And I think that's, I'll share with you just real quickly. I think we go into everything trying to do three things. It's three questions. What do you want people to think, what do you want people to do? And how do you want people to feel? And most times people go in like, I want you to hire me and start this job or I want you to date me or whatever else. But we don't focus on the feeling. And I think, you know, the standout experience, the legacy we leave is how we make others feel. Because you're probably carrying that feeling of that person inside of you. And that's what's, I'm sure the words are there and the advice and everything else, but you can tell there's a feeling inside of you, right? That that person left in you. And it's that feeling that's kind of pushing you and pulling you along. Right.

The feeling is the most powerful part of it.

That's right.

Everyone's listening right now and they want to be a standout and they don't know how, where do they go, what do they do?

I hope they get the book. Right? I think, I hope they get the standout experience book. But I think it's a lot of self reflection. And one and we talked about this before is I don't want to stand out. I was like, I think you do. There's a reason. And by the way, people around you are begging you to stand out. It could be your kid, it could be your spouse, it could be whatever. People are begging. So the minute you say, I don't want to stand out, you've lost. And I think if the minute we say I do want to stand out for other people, I think that starts the journey. And then it's what we talked about before, point A to point B. Okay, who am I now and where am I going and how do I get there? And I think if we chase this standout version of ourselves and we do it with the intent of helping Other people, you know, how great this world would be if we're all kind of chasing this sort of standout person. That's, you know, I'm kind of getting on my soapbox a little bit, but.

But it really. It really would be. And it's all about starting with each one of ourselves and, you know, and the actions that we can take. So for anyone that wants to find standout experience, where can they buy the book?

It's on Amazon, and I have a website, thestandoutmovement.com they can go there and order it through the website as. But I hope it just helps somebody. It certainly helps me. If anything else, it put my own thoughts down on paper. I followed your advice about writing a book. You just have to kind of do it. And so now it's out there, and I'm very proud of. It's two years of writing, but about 20 years of research that I put in. Wow.

Oh, my gosh. That's amazing. And did you feel really scared when you were about to launch?

Like you wouldn't believe. Like you wouldn't believe. It's super scary. It really is, you know, but just like, you know, just like you had that editor friend of yours tell you, you know, you just have to do it and just reposition your thinking. I did the same thing, and I put it out there, and you know what? Let's let it fly and we'll go from there. If anything, I put my thoughts down on paper and it's there. And I have three beautiful children, and maybe they can be proud of dad for having a book, and it just touches the three of their lives. And I'm perfectly happy.

Oh, I'm so proud of you. And I can't wait for everyone to grab the book. Standout experience. And where can they find you, John?

Through the website, but I'm pretty much on Instagram on. It's John walshstandout. And then I'm starting to get a lot more active on LinkedIn. I know you're. You're very big on LinkedIn as well, and I think that's a great platform. So I'm on LinkedIn. John Walsh as well. So LinkedIn and Instagram are the two probably best places.

All right, I'm gonna go follow you on LinkedIn now so that we can all double down on your LinkedIn. We need to create more standouts. Let's go.

That's right. Great.

John, thank you so much for being here with us today. I appreciate it.

Thank you so much. It's good to See you.

All right, hold tight, guys. We'll be right back. I asked you to try to find your passion. I hope you enjoyed meeting John as much as I did. I'm so grateful to know him. He's such an amazing guy. His book also just launched and went to number one bestseller on Amazon. I can't make this stuff up, you guys. I'm so proud of him, so excited for all that the future holds for him and just bringing more goodness to the world to shine his light, to help others and to just put good into a world that right now is definitely struggling. So check his book out, check out the reviews on Amazon, check out his ranking as a bestseller, and hopefully you will want to check him out again. Moving forward. I'm so happy I get to work with him now. Moving forward. Okay. I've received a lot of questions recently around my coaching program, and, you know, what am I doing? And so it's funny. I'll respond to people on DMs like, oh, hey, here's the link. Check it out, right? Because one of the things that's important in business is the number one most precious thing you have is your time, right? And you constantly need to be reevaluating. Where are you spending it? You know, where are you losing it? Is it an efficient use of your time? Is there an roi, return on investment on your time time? We need to always evaluate these things. And for me, when I first started my business, I did so many podcasts as a guest, which was a great use of my time because I was learning about podcasts and meeting people, expanding my network, expanding my reach. Now after the pandemic, I am so focused on driving revenue because all of my speaking business money evaporated, right? So things change, situations change, and your goals and your evaluation will change based on what's happening in your life. So constantly reevaluate those things, which I. I do. So sometimes people will get frustrated. You know, I'll say, oh, yeah, here's the link to sign up for my course. And they'll say, yeah, well, I just want to get questions and ask free advice. So I open up this opportunity. Anyone wants to ask me a question, all you have to do, shoot it to me on a DM on my site, anywhere, and I will answer it on my podcast. But I don't jump on phone calls with people to coach them. That's what I do now for a living during Pandemic. So that's, you know, a business window and opportunity for me that I don't often Offer for free, that's my time. But my podcast, I do offer for free and I'm happy to answer those questions. So here's one that came in today. One question, maybe for a future podcast, if it hasn't already been asked, would be, how did you decide to write a book and what made you feel it was the right step or going to be successful?

Ha.

I think that's funny. And you need to know this. I didn't know it was going to be successful. I didn't know it was the right step. Step. I didn't know to write a book. This is what people need to understand. And this goes back to what I was saying earlier. It's not about the how, it's about the outcome. And to me, I got fired. I rebuilt my confidence. I stepped into who I really was. I started feeling good about who I was. I had no idea what being an entrepreneur looked like. I had been in corporate America my entire life, which is so seismically different from being an entrepreneur. You're on your own, own. No one's guiding you. There's no, you know, examples before you, right? Everyone has a different path in the entrepreneurial. It's very, very different from that very constructed blueprint of corporate America. So when you're brand new at something, and frankly, I was an expert in the polar opposite, I was an expert in this well lit world of here's corporate America, here's the blueprint, here's how you succeed. Yes, I mastered that. I was an expert in that. But now I had to figure out, okay, start over at ground zero. How do you build this? I didn't know. There was no map, there was no blueprint. I just started focusing on, I have always succeeded. I will succeed. I will figure out a way. But I didn't know a way. So I just kept taking action. The first thing I did was I asked for help. That landed me on the Elvis Duran show. That's when he said to me, well, Heather, you're writing a book. And I said, of course I am. But I wasn't. I googled how do you write a book? I didn't know how to write a book. I didn't even know if people can just write a book. I had no idea, had never thought of writing a book in my life. So there was no master plan for me. And it's important for people to know that. I guess some people might act like they had some master plan. I don't buy it. If you are someone that got fired, that found yourself just sitting on the sidelines suddenly and decide to go to work for yourself. I definitely imagine you're probably similar to me, that you didn't know what to do, didn't know what you were going to do, but you were willing to bet on you. You were willing to roll the dice on you. And that is what I was willing to do. Didn't know how to write a book, Googled it and figured it out. Didn't know how to find an editor. Posted about finding an editor and trusted my gut. And then suddenly I had a book. And then suddenly people closest to me in my life told me not to release it, to pull the plot plug. And I made a very great decision and called my editor, who had written 19 books, and said, should I pull the plug? I'm scared. I don't think it's going to work. I think I'm going to get sued. All the negatives and nos and this and that. And he said, why did you write the book? Has that changed? And it hadn't. I reached out to someone who had already been where I wanted to go instead of taking advice and direction from people who had no idea about where I was going because they had never, ever been there. And that realization, for me, is so powerful. I no longer lean on people, no matter how much I love them, no matter how much they love me, for advice, if they haven't been in the ditch that I was in and they didn't dig themselves out and they aren't going in the same direction I'm going, I'm not going to consult with them on business. I'm going to consult with me. I'm going to rely on me, and I'm going to tap people. People way far ahead of me. And if I can't meet with them, I'll listen to their podcast, I'll read their book, whatever it may be. But you can tap into knowledge on social media or anywhere to help yourself access what it's like to think like someone when you want to get to where they're going, because they didn't know the how. They figured it out along the way. Was it messy? Abso freaking lutely. Is it still messy? Messy? You got it. It sure is. I was on a call today with one of my coaching clients, and she was saying to me, well, Heather, you don't understand. I have so many businesses going on at the same time, and it's hard to know, to prioritize, which one is the emerging business, which one is the right one to spend time. I'm listening to her go on and on. Mind you, I have a deal with HarperCollins leadership for my new book to come out in 2021. They just emailed me this morning for a meeting next week. That is a priority. I have this podcast, podcast which is a priority. I have my coaching business, which is my number one revenue stream, which is my brand new business I just launched and started. I need more testimonials. I need to build up a stronger pipeline. I need a more efficient and effective pipeline. I need to work less time on the discovery element and more time on what I do best, the coaching. I need to build this business out. I need to do so many different things. I need to take care of my son and his homeschooling and find a way to work out every day because that's a priority. Yes, I have a lot of things going on. No, I have none of it nailed down or figured out yet. So if you don't, don't worry about it. Nobody does. And the advice I gave her was right now you are looking for cash. Focus on revenue only opportunities and focus on the higher ticket revenue opportunities. Because the sooner you close your higher tick ticket revenue opportunities, the sooner you can re evaluate, take a breath, step back and decide what you want to work on next. Revenue fixes all problems. So that's what I'm sticking with. That's how I'm moving my business forward right now as a rookie in the executive coaching space. And that's how I encourage you to as well. You will figure it out along the way. You don't need to know the how today and until next week. Keep creating confidence in yourself. I'll be doing the same. See you then. I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone.

You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it.

Come on this journey with me.