#83: Tim Storey, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, & Author, Answers Your Questions

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We are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow.

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Hi and welcome back. I'm so glad you're here. With this week being the week right after Thanksgiving, of course. Thinking a lot about gratitude and all that we, each one of us have to be grateful for. Even though it's been a a very challenging year for most everyone and a very different year with myself included. No travel for Thanksgiving. I know so many of us are staying in and trying to limit the amount of exposure that we have to others, which is super hard and definitely a bummer. But trying to focus on all of the good that is out there and all that there is to be grateful for today. So one of the things I was thinking about when I look back on this whole year 2020 is that and I didn't really realize it initially, however, I noticed it today because I was posting about I received some super thoughtful little gifts that came in from people I'd spoken for this year and I thought that was such an interesting turn of events and so different for me. Meaning when I was back in corporate America working for someone who's trying to set me up, sabotage me, and hold me back, that woman wasn't sending me nice thoughtful gift of brownies saying thank you, right? Or a picture of me with the cute card or that would have never happened, right? Clearly she fired me. She wasn't sending me thoughtful gifts. And it's not about the gift, right? These are little thoughtful things. It means so much to receive something like that unexpectedly. And basically it made me realize that a big difference for me this year was choosing whether it was conscious or subconscious to work with and for people who I really liked and respected and aligned with in a bigger picture way. So yeah, there were times this year that I spoke at a conference. I didn't really have a connection, you know, with the people or didn't know them very well. But I'll tell you, 90% of the time, I did know the people. I got to know people. I spent time on calls with them before their events and I really worked to make sure that we were on the same page with mission and purpose. And now as I'm reflecting and looking at all these really thoughtful things that people have sent me right around Thanksgiving and focusing on gratitude, I'm really grateful that this shift occurred. And I guess what I want to share with you is that when we choose people who choose Us, when we choose people who align with our morals, our purpose, our mission, things just work out so much better. You don't have to worry about someone stabbing you in the back, or did they really mean what they said? Or, gosh, I hope they're happy with my work because, you know, going in, it's all going to turn out for good because they're good people and that you're going to ask for expectations and communicate clearly with them and ask for feedback along the way so you know you'll do a good job. And that comfort and change for me is massive and I'm super proud of it. Now that I reflect back on this year and I look back on what a difference it makes to work with people that you're actually grateful for. So if you are in a situation where you are not working with people that, that you're grateful for and that aren't grateful for you, high time to get out of there. And this is also one of the ways that I'm approaching. There's a lot of new business opportunities that have very recently come into my world and people ask me a lot. You know, hey, how do you know which opportunities to go after, which ones to pass on? More and more I'm leaning to this gut feeling that I get when I meet someone and, and I'll tell you when I go against that and say, oh, but it is a good financial opportunity and I should go for it anyways, even though I've got this resistance, somehow it never turns out the way that I hoped and ends up taking more time or not coming to fruition. And I'm just Learning still at 46 years old, learning so much. But I'm learning that when I feel really good about working with people and companies, it just really turns out better in the end. So for you, when you're looking at new opportunities or thinking about partnerships and you know, who should you invest in and spend your time with? I would challenge you to say, how do you feel that first time that you met with them? How do you feel going back and sitting with them? Is it a safe situation where you know you'll be supported, where you don't have to worry about mincing words, but you just show up as yourself? And those are the partnerships I'm drawn to. Those are the partnerships I'm entering in into. And I'm definitely leading with gratitude for the remainder of this year, which we still have a whole nother month left. And for next year and beyond, it definitely is something different that I've done That's starting to pay some really positive dividends mentally, financially and professionally. So choose your partners wisely, choose your clients wisely. Don't be afraid to fire bad customers or clients because you deserve more and more. Why not now and why not today? Grateful for you. Hoping that you had a great Thanksgiving and that you're feeling the gratitude today. Hold tight, we're going to be right back.

Meet a different guest each week. Tim, can you share for the people there, probably only a few here that don't know your backstory. I mean your upbringing. And actually at our event planner expo a couple of weeks ago, there was a story you shared that I hadn't heard before about that special teacher and how that touched your life. To me, I love that story and it just made me think how I could affect somebody else through going through.

Something similar to what you did.

Thank you. I think that a lot of people say, what's the secret of what you've done? I really am a person that has had amazing mentors and so that's really like the secret. And so born in Compton, which I love that city and I still do a lot for the city. But we had seven people in a two bedroom apartment which is called cramped and crowded. And my mother had a sixth grade education. She is Spanish, Vesantita Gonzalez. My father is Cuban, black, Afro Cuban, some Afro Cuban and Spanish. He had a 10th grade education. My mother worked at a donut shop called Winchell's. My father worked at Bethlehem Steel. We were very just common. There was not a lot of like big talk going on. But later in life we moved to a all white neighborhood which was like culture shock to me. But I learned how to adjust, adapt and I was funny and that probably helped. But I had a teacher in my sixth grade teacher who asked me to stay after class one day and he said, timmy, can you stay after class? And you guys remember these days, like all the kids in the class went, ooh, he's probably in trouble. So the teacher says to me, timmy, I want to tell you something. I think you are in Marisol. I didn't know what he was going to say. I think you are a good dancer. I think you're a good basketball player. He says, I think you are brilliant. And because you're brilliant, I want to see if you want to read one of my books from my private library. So Heather had three books lined up on the desk and one was a book about the life of Michelangelo. Little did he know, by me checking out this book by him in the sixth grade, that it would change my life because it took me beyond, beyond my upbringing, beyond the low ceiling, beyond the small thinking. It took me beyond to read about this guy, Michelangelo, of how he had his own hardships, but he found a way to do brilliant things. And this teacher stuck with me. In the seventh grade, he would call me to see if I was doing well. In the eighth grade, he'd call me to see if I was doing well. In the ninth grade, he'd call me to see if I was going to doing well. This guy totally lit my fire that I really was brilliant and that I was called to do brilliant things.

You had never had someone speak to you that way before you met him or before he called on you and asked you to stay after, right?

Never in my life. Because my mother, bless her heart, she's 89 and still tough. It's like, mom, you're 89, slow down. So my mother never said big compliments to us. She was all about the work ethic. She had five children. All of us have done well in life because we have like a strong work ethic. But that's how she knew how to raise us. So I'd never heard anything positive from her, like, you're amazing. You're going to do amazing things. It was more like, you know, do the dishes, but do them better. Clean your room, but do it better. So this guy's words, man. There's power in words. He spoke me to the place I was supposed to be. He spoke me to the uncommon Tim story that I later became.

Did this happen before your father passed away or after?

Heather, you do your homework. It happened right after. So in hindsight, I think that the reason he did it is because he knew I had a need. So that was pretty cool of him because my father, who was super cool, very tall, handsome guy, he was just going through a green light, guys, at 7:30 at night. But it was in January, so in LA it was getting dark already. It was dark. You're just going through a green light. Going to get my mother food. And a man, bless his heart, ran a red light. And my father died. So what was taken when my father died is the joy, the energy, the atmosphere, because my mother did not have that. And so I think that this teacher really felt that there was probably a need. But he never said that. He just spoke into my life. And then he later, like I said, Heather called me. Could you imagine when I went to the seventh grade to eighth grade and then kept checking up on me. But later in Life. I went back and I bought him a very expensive Rolex watch, like the big, big one. And I've been a very big blessing.

To the guy's life as he was, too.

That's pretty flipping awesome.

What was the transition like to overcome so much adversity, coming from such a challenging place, going through so much loss? How did that young man become a world shaker? To me, it just. I don't understand the magic that occurred next.

Yeah. So I think that it's a principle, Heather, that, you know, I teach that in order to get the right harvest, you have to do these steps. Number one, you have to plow the ground. You got to plow. And then you have to plant the right seed. So that's what's so important. Like, I'm in this gear because my trainer just left because my gym shut down. So I just built a whole gym in my house, a really nice one. So my trainer just left. So. Every day I'm hustling and I like that song. Every day I'm hustling Every, every, every, every, every, every, every day I'm hustling. So you got to plow the ground, you got to plant the seed, but the right seed, and then you got to water the seed, which is repetition. Okay. And then you will reap a harvest. So I do not believe that mine is any form of an overnight success story. Mine is a story of I plow, I plow, I plow, I plant, I plant, I plant, I water, I water, I water, I harvest, I harvest, I harvest, I harvest. Like, my break in Hollywood was almost by accident. I was a humanitarian, been to 75 countries of the world, helping people in third world nations. A famous actress found me. I won't say her name right now, but you guys know her. She found me. Older actress, put me in front of her friends. There was 13 people there, and 10 of them were all household names. And I was only 29 years of age. Well, there it went. That was my life. All of a sudden, these guys are wanting to go to Spagos with me. They're wanting to hang out with me. They're wanting to support my nonprofit. They're wanting me to go on vacation with them. And, you know, you learn from education, observation, and conversation. I had so many great conversations with the greatest people, greatest mindsets, and they helped catapult my life into just crazy dimensions.

You never know what's going to happen next. That's why you have got to show up. That's what I always tell myself.

Yes.

Someone just asked him. You were talking earlier about sitting and settling in the problem. When you were talking about resilience, where is the moment that you decide not to settle and instead choose to become resilient?

Okay, so when you feel like you might be settling, there are steps. So if you feel like you might be settling, whether it be watch like, I guess I'll just always feel this way physically, or I got divorced and so now I feel shame and guilt, or my son's having problems, he may not get out, or my daughter's having problems, they may not get out. Or whatever you feel like you're sitting and settling in. Number one, you have to wake up. You have to wake up. You have to wake up. Secondly, you have to take inventory. That's a difficult part, guys, to take inventory and say, okay, where is my life? Like dog gone it. What happened to my joy? What happened to my peace? What happened to my creativity? So, number one, wake up. Number two, take inventory. Number three, here's where someone like Heather comes in. You got to partner with the right people, so you got to partner with power. Partner with people that have the answers that you do not have. Okay? And that will help get you out of that place of settling.

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Another great question came in this one. Back to the harvesting question. Does Tim plant multiple crops and maintain or does he focus on just one or two? And Tim I will Tell you, I typically, I'm so interested to hear what you say because I believe in the octopus strategy, that who knows what is gonna go crazy next and you have to have multiple revenue streams. But I learned that the hard way, and Jesse Itzler told me I was crazy for that strategy. He's like, you're wrong. Focus on one. So I'm so interested to hear what.

You think about that.

Okay, so, Heather, I agree with you, and I agree with Jesse. It is a hybrid. So there's a book by Keller, as you know, called the One Thing. And so I like that book, but I also see Heather's side that you can do the one thing, but then you can plant seed in multiple things. So I think you got to really master the one thing. Like, master one thing. Malcolm Gladwell, the 10,000 hours. Okay, so you want to master one thing. So I mastered becoming the best comeback coach in the world. I cannot be beat in the comeback. That's why the top sports stars come to me. Rap stars, actors, politicians. I can't be beat in that, but I can be beat in cooking. I'm not that great. Don't ask me to work on your car. Not that great. Okay. But the comeback I've mastered. So you got to master the one thing. Malcolm Gladwell. But as Heather's saying, you have to plant seed in other areas. Like, many of the stars I work with, they had an A and a B side of the record back in the day, and they've told me the B side is the one that became the hit, but they thought it was going to be the A side. So. Great thinking, Heather. Great thinking.

Yeah. It's funny that you mentioned working the.

10,000 hours to master something. And this is. As we get older, I'm 46. I know we have a lot of people here. Late 40s, 50s. You know, I mastered sales and sales leadership in corporate America. Cut to three years ago, I get fired. So I'm a master at something that now I've walked away from. However, what I like to share with people is, as an author, you need to be a badass seller. As an entrepreneur, you need to be a salesperson and a leader. So you can also master one thing and then take some of those learnings and apply. Apply them to something that you are a rookie in.

Fantastic. So as Heather's saying, what you do, this stuff that we're learning in the trenches, it feels like we don't like it. It's good for you. It's like eating spinach. Eat it. Because Then you can master and helicopter yourself, like Heather's doing. And Heather's just getting started. She's a very young, whatever age she's supposed to be. Heather, you're a star. Heather, I'm going to tell you right now, is a star. I'm around stars every other day or every day of my life. I was with one last night. Heather is a star. She can't help herself. It's not her fault. Too bad. Deal with it. So you're going to hit it in all different dynamics and places.

Thank you so much, Tim. So someone just wrote, thank you, Tim, so much. I can't believe you're here. This is amazing. How do you stay fired up during the time times where you are low so that you can then fire up your team?

Okay, so number one, I don't lead by hype. You know, I still got. I still got some Compton in me, yo. So I don't lead by hype. Like, what you see coming out of me right now is spirit. So my strength is I think I am supernaturally, like, connected. Like, I'll sit with people and I won't name drop somebody, but it was a person, you know, and they said to me the other day that said, holy crap, it's like something's coming out of you. I said, it is. So to me, I believe I could tap into a God flow. So to me, it's not like I got to hype myself up. Like, I'm on my grind. I beat the sun up. Some of these guys would say, I'm on my grind to beat the sign up. I feel like saying, you look like crap, go back to sleep. But mine is like a God flow. And so I'm just flowing, guys. I'm flowing in creativity, I'm flowing ideas. I'm constantly studying. I'm constantly talking to amazing minds like you guys. And so the way I motivate is by example. I teach by example. My guys around me, they're just watching me and I started seeing that they walk like me, they start talking like me. I lead by example.

That is such a great point. But it could not have always been that way for you, right, Tim? So going back and I do, I feel that. And I was talking to everybody earlier about when you were speaking on the event planner and you were just so chill talking. But it was pure magic and it radiates from you, which is obviously a really special gift that you have that goes back to your faith. I don't know anyone that has such strong faith. The way that you do. It's so rooted in who you are, and that is such a power of yours. But how did you get to that place? Could not have been that way forever.

Well, number one, thank you. So, to me, like, I didn't come to faith because I didn't, like, did not have something, and I needed something to fill the void. My thing was, like, if there's really this utmost God that could take me to utmost places, I want to find ways to tap into them. Because I think there's three levels of living. Almost, which means not quite most, which means there's a ceiling, and utmost, which means there's no ceiling. So I believe that an utmost God did not create almost children. So I wanted to tap into that utmost God, Heather. And so I really started to get to know God through studying research, reading books for myself. Not for religion, not to convert human beings, but just because I wanted to live this utmost life. And I'm trying to tell you, it created what I call a miracle mentality in my mind. And a miracle is a supernatural intervention into God that he helps you with things that are not supposed to happen. And so a miracle is something extraordinary. Watch. Not common, not the usual, not the regular. So this is the life that I've been able to manifest all these years. Yeah.

Tim, with so many people now becoming depressed, becoming addicted to drugs, to alcohol, more than what we would typically see in any given time, what are some of the strategies that you suggest or implement with people when you work with depressed anxiety and addiction?

Which I do every day. So I'm in the addiction space. I've been part owner of addiction Centers for the last five years. I also do a lot in the area of addiction with nonprofits. I just hosted a big summit on mental health. Number one, don't put yourself down. No matter where you are in this situation, don't put yourself down. So if you're depressed, if you're down, if you're addicted, if you're afflicted, don't put yourself down. So what we need to do is realize that what's happening to you is not working for you. I say it this way, Heather. The real you will make a demand on the you that you've become. So if you're an addict, something in you is saying, that's not you. If you're living in depression and just letting yourself be overwhelmed, you're saying, that's not really me. So in that case, as I said earlier, look, guys, you got to reach for help. I'm not afraid to reach for help. To get to where I am in life and to go beyond. I reach for help. I still have two therapists. You say, why do you have two? In case one is off. Now, are you talking to them about serious stuff? Not so much. A lot of times I just go in there and I crack them up with jokes. But I do it for accountability. And so I'm always reaching for the stronger people. So today I'm reaching for you guys. And I'm drawing strength even from the energy I'm feeling from you guys. So you guys need to take time and meditate and stop, look and listen, because the real you is talking to you. See, don't forget your dream has a voice. But some of you have turned the volume down. Meditation and prayer turns the volume up. And the real you says, get up. The real you says, you can get through this. The real you says, you're going to be a person like Heather Monahan and start touching millions of people. That's what happened to Heather. The real Heather rose up from the things you've been through and said, bam. Rise up and be who you're called to be.

I told you guys he was going to drop so much knowledge on you. I'm so excited. But, Tim, you know what's funny when you're talking about that. And obviously we all have our low moments, myself included, make poor decisions, you know, beat myself up the next day, and I've got to do better. One of the things that I've been saying to myself this year, specifically, because it's been very challenging, my son's at Zoom School at home, quarantine. All the same things that we're all dealing with. Some of the things when I have a bad day and I'm like, oh, is it five o' clock yet? Can I have a chardonnay? I'll start saying, okay, if I don't want to take that away in this moment, what could I add to my day that could help me get in a better way? Could I run? Could I put lemon in my water? Could I eat salad tonight? I start thinking, I can add or I can subtract things sometimes to help me through a rut just to get out of that bad. Because you're probably just having a bad day or whatever, hopefully. And so that's my new thing I try to do. Like, what could I add to it.

To make it better?

And what can I pull away from it right now so that either way, I'm improving my situation?

So I love that. So I call it shifting your satellite dish. So wherever you put your satellite dish, that's what you pick up. So watch. Guys, if you're in the trenches and you're working all the time, and you're working, working, working, working, working, working, that's where your satellite dish is. If you are a mother and you have like three little, little kids, that's where your satellite dish is. Okay? If you have a grumpy husband or grumpy wife, that's where your satellite dish is. So you have to on the daily, shift your satellite dish to other networks that make you feel better. Like, one of my go tos is music. So I'm really into like Stevie Wonder old stuff, Earth, Wind and Fire, Al Green. It's over with when that music comes on. Because listen, my job, I got friends in jail right now. I got people with COVID I just found out one of my buddies had just had a heart attack. He's in the hospital. So I got so much coming at Tim's story. But when I put on Stevie Wonder, looking back at when I was a little nappy headed boy man, boom, boom. Shift my satellite dish. And I'm little Timmy, who's 10 again. So you guys gotta shift your satellite dish on a daily basis. As Heather said, whether that's going for run, whether that is just going outside and bird watching, or whether that's getting up, going for a drive, going to Starbucks, drive thru, but just to get out and breathe, shift your satellite dish. Boom.

Someone just asked, what other daily habits, big or small, do you have that give you the most back in your life?

I'm really into contacting people, so I've sent out already probably 10 texts today and it's only 10:47am my time. And just encouraging people like, hey, just thinking about you, I'm excited about your new project. Or hey, wow, that was super that you got them on your podcast. Or whoa, I'm glad the NBA is coming back in December. You're gonna have a good season. I've already sent out 10. It's only 1048. So I am constantly encouraging somebody else. I'm just sowing seeds into other people. But I do that because I want to. But what I have found out is what you make happen for somebody else, life will make happen for you. You'll hear that from a lot of my male friends. They're like, Tim is unusual. Like, he sends me like all kinds of encouraging messages and calls me and sometimes even sends emojis.

We all love a good emoji. Okay, how do you serve the way that you do at the level that you do with this frequency without being discouraged. It seems like you have to give, give and give. How do you take care of yourself when you give so much of yourself to the world?

Okay, so the reality is sometimes I am discouraged, sometimes I'm disappointed, and sometimes my stuff didn't work. So I have clients that I work with that they are still very addicted and even got worse. I have marriages that I helped. I have that they look like they're going to make it. A month later they say, we just filed for divorce. So there are times I'm disappointed and discouraged. It's like being a really good running back in the NFL football. You may be a great running back, but you're still going to finish the game. And your right hip hurts and your head hurts because you got hit so much. So when you do what we do, like I know Heather's job, I don't know all your guys job, but when you do what we do, when you're in the front lines, guys, you're taking shots. So I'm taking more shots than the average person. So what I have to do watch is I have to go to what I call the holy ground to replenish myself. Because my job is the battleground. So battleground is life. Holy ground is I need to rest, I need to breathe, I need to communicate with great people. The holy ground is a place of secrets, significance, safety, seclusion, and supernatural power. I'm a pro at running to the holy ground. I say no to a lot of things. Tim, you want to go to Mastro's? No, I don't want to go. Tim, you want to go so and so. No, I don't want to go. You're such a homebody. You know what? Sometimes I am when I need it. Holy ground, battleground.

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But Tim, don't you also find that I think that you think like this too? Sometimes when you show up and you are imparting your knowledge, you walk away feeling more energized, not drawn out.

I agree. No doubt about it. There's times where I'm like so exhausted and they'll say this person really is a fan of yours and they're in the hospital and I'll go, okay, I'm gonna go to Cedars Sinai Hospital and I'm gonna go See him and I go in there, like dragging myself, and then Heather, I leave and I'm like flying. So there's really some type of supernatural energy, I think, that comes back to you. As we give, as we sow, we reap back. So no doubt about it.

Okay, this is a really interesting question, Tim, for someone who loves to serve and help others the way you do, how do you justify to yourself raising your rates without the fear of losing people that need you, that you still want to help?

I love that question.

It's a phenomenal question that took me a long time to get to. Is that, like, I am a humanitarian. I do a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of things for free. But what my peers have helped me with is, Tim, your value is high, and so you need to bring your rates up to where your value is. And so I had to literally be talked into that years ago. But what I found is that people gave me more respect when I raised my rates up. A lot of times they value what they pay for. And Heather, a lot of times it would be with famous people. I'd say, okay, we have a zoom call at 8 in the morning. I'd be waiting in front of the computer and they don't show up. But when you charge them, look at me, guys, there they are. So I have my humanitarian side, which will always be me, but I also have my business side. But thank you to my peers that picked me up and said, that's your value. Do it.

Okay, here's a really great question too. How does Tim use social media? Sounds like he is more energized by connecting with people directly versus on social media? What is his point of view on how we can use social media, which feels so impersonal and fake at times?

I think the key for all of us, the key guys, is to always be authentic. And you've heard that saying, you've been born an original, don't die a copy. So what I want from you on social media is I want you. I want you. And then if you are trying to monetize and sell something, I want you, but I want you to be you, but properly selling that product. And so that was the greatness of Johnny Carson, who's before your day, is that Johnny Carson was just laid back and he was such a good interviewer and such a good listener. So the way I use social media is I am organically Tim Story. And then I tell you about what I'm up to and what we're doing, and it's working for us. We do very, very well in our returns on social media, but I think it's because of being very authentic.

Okay, Tim, how can you help others see their value when we struggle to.

See our own value?

I think that we have to understand what's important today. I think we're so caught by the visual. The visual. The visual or the visual of they drive this car or they live in the 90210. Some of the greatest people I've met, or they have great minds or they have a great sense of humor or they have great compassion. So the idea is called soaring with your strengths. Like, I think my greatest strength is my ability to listen. I was raised by three sisters and a mother when my father passed. I am a phenomenal listener. Listening has taken Tim's story to the top. So I don't come in with, oh, I'm charismatic or oh, I'm semi handsome or oh, I've done well for a living. No, my strength is I'm a good listener and I care. That's my strength.

That comes through so clearly. And you're launching a new program to actually teach people how to coach. Can you tell us about that?

Yes. You know, I'm very excited about this, is that this is another thing that we have to pay attention to, our blind spots in the area of coaching. For probably 10 years, people have been saying, tim, you should do your own certified coaching program because you got swag. Do it Tim story style. And so I go, nah, nah. But three years ago, I decided to say yes. And I hired six psychologists, one psychiatrist. We put together a whole curriculum that's phenomenal. And I teach you how to be a life coach. So it's a seven week program, it's all online. But here's what's unheard of. For two years, I continued to coach you at the same price. So you pay one price. For two years, I continue to coach you. So every quarter I get on with all my coaches and we stay on for several hours and we talk about how to monetize, how to deal with people, how it's working for you, how to create your own curriculum. So I will tell you how well this is going. We had a call recently and we had about 111 people on the call. And 81 of the 111 showed interest to sign up. So that shows you that people want what I am doing. I can help you to become a better coach to your kids in your business, a coach to your own life. Because sometimes you have to coach yourself or to monetize your coaching business. And can I give them the website? Okay, so it's Tim story.com so t I m s t o r e-y.com I think the price is very fair, mostly for the other prices that are out there. And this could change your life. Guys. I didn't know this would make me Tim Story, life coach to the stars. I was just trying to help humans. So who knows what's going to happen with your life? So look into that because it could really help you guys.

There's no better coach out there. He is at the top of the top. He is goals to me. And I would love it if you take your computers off of mute so we can give him a round of applause for being here today because I am so freaking grateful for him and I know you are too. Guys, please show him love. I want everyone to post about Tim today on social media. Let him feel the love. And, Tim, love you so much. Thank you so much for being here.

Real friends. I'm so proud of you. Heather.

Thank you so much. You are the best. Everyone have a blessed weekend. Thank you.

I hope you loved getting to hang with my friend Tim Storey. He is amazing. He's the world shaker. He's Oprah's bestie. I mean, come on, the guy's unbelievable. And I get so excited when I.

Get the chance to.

To speak to him and be around him. Choose people that you get excited to be around. It makes your day so much brighter. Okay, so I've gotten a couple of questions that I wanted to bring up today. One is came to me from LinkedIn and it said, hey, I watch your videos and your podcast. You're an inspiration to me. Thank you. Here's my request. Will you create some content on how to balance your personal life and. And with your professional life, being a working woman and working mom? So here's the thing. And this year is so different, right? Because I'm home all the time now. My son's home all the time. So I have so much more time with my son. However, it's funny because in the old world, I was traveling a lot, but it was kind of. I would work a lot when I was gone, and then when I was home and my son wasn't in school, we would go do things together. Then when he would go to school, I would work, and then when I would travel, I'd focus on work. So it was this ebb and flow where now it's different, right, because you're working at home all the Time. So there really aren't those boundaries. And it's more trying to carve out meaningful things. If you're just home a lot with your kids and your family, you need to make, I think, more of an effort, right, because it kind of all blurs together now. So I'm trying to carve out specific things, things that we can do that are special or meaningful. Otherwise, it just starts all blending together, which is no bueno. But for me, you know, balance means taking care of yourself and your health. Really, the times I regret is when I don't sleep or I'm not working out because I lose my mind and become a stress case, which nothing good comes from. So balance for me starts there. Taking care of yourself, making sure you're doing the things that you, that you need to do so you can take care of everybody else in your life. That's when things start going a heck of a lot better. Okay, now we could just got another question. Here we go. Heather. I don't struggle with confidence, but I can't put my finger on what's happening with my social media audience. They're not responding to my messages, my conversations, or my posts. I feel like I have a network filled with men who maybe just like how I look, not an activated network of people that want to engage and have conversations around business, business, corporate and entrepreneurial work. What do you think? So here's the thing, and I've explained this a few times, but we'll explain it again. You know, we need to look at data, right? So data doesn't lie when you look at your social media posts. I use a tool on LinkedIn called Shield. I use a tool on Instagram called Iconosquare. You know, figure out what tools work for you. I don't, you know, promote or partner with any of them. Just pick what works for you and dig into the data. So for me, I noticed this year, specifically, really aggressive, more controversial posts are doing way better than they used to. And I think that's because everyone's in this heightened, you know, tense window. So I posted about some woman sent me some crazy message on my website. Heathermonahan.com I have this little bot. It's ahead of me and you can talk to it. And she wrote in there, hey, love your, your content, love your work. However, when you show your workout videos, we can see your legs and your chest, and it's really not helpful for women that you post things like this. You need to stop posting things like that and cover yourself up more. It was so ridiculous. I thought. So I posted to the woman that just sent me this note, you know, and I put the. The copy that she utilized. I said, here's the thing you do you. If you want to, you know, cover yourself up and not work out, perfect for you. That's awesome. Go. Yes. Applauding you. Congrats. However, you know, I don't work for you. You're not in charge of me. So until the social media platform I'm on tells me it's illegal to post workout videos and I work out, I'll post my workout videos, right? So I'll do me, you, do you, and rock on, cheering you on from afar. But I don't like this idea that people think they can come in and tell you what to do. Okay. So posts like that are doing really well this year. I'm seeing that in the data also. Inspirational posts are doing really well. People want that inspiration. They want to be reminded to hang on. But again, I wouldn't know that if I didn't analyze the data each week and each month to see what's resonating or what's not resonating. Now, what this woman's saying is she thinks maybe she has the wrong audience because her messages aren't resonating. I guarantee you this. There's some of her messages that are resonating. She's not digging in enough to her data and, you know, get in a little bit deeper in that data analysis so that you can start finding out. But here's the thing. If you want to grow and attract a different audience, you probably need different messaging or you need to show up in different areas. My suggestions would be a really easy way. Be a guest on podcasts, right? I did this the first two years after I got fired. I went on more podcasts. I. Every single day I went on podcasts. I don't do it anymore because I definitely feel like I did the work and built up the audiences. Now I have a different approach, and that isn't necessarily the best use of my time. But earlier on, when you're trying to establish your social media presence, it's super helpful if you choose to go that route. It really worked and helped me. So I would say if you're a woman looking to attract a female audience, go on a big female show, right? You know, expose yourself to that audience. The other thing you can do is, is follow big audiences. Big female audiences on different social media networks, like their stuff, share their stuff, respond, respond to their followers, engage in conversation, and give people a reason to follow Back to your page, right? So you want to attract that audience, find out where they are. Are they in Facebook groups, are they in LinkedIn groups, are they in networking zoom groups? Just try to figure out where those groups are and then you start showing up, shining your light, and you will attract those people to you. So instead of stopping in this idea of, oh, my messages aren't working, I have the wrong audience, take action to pull that right audience towards you, Dig into the data, start seeing what's working and lean in more to what works versus what doesn't. Okay, then I have a woman that I've been working with the past couple of months and we were on a call this week and it was such a good call. I found interesting one in that she was saying to me, I don't, you know, people are taking this time at the end of one year to start forecasting what are my big picture goals? What's my Everest? As Colin o' Brady would say for next year, what's that big thing I'm going after? And she came to this realization she wants to work for herself, but she doesn't know what that looks like. And I'm sitting there cheering because that's exactly how I felt when I got fired. I thought, okay, I want to work, work for me, but I have no idea what I would do. And I put out on social media that I needed help and I didn't know what I wanted to do. I asked for help, right? Opportunities started showing up. I'd step into the fear and go for them. That led me to the Elvis Duran show, which was the first time someone said to me, you're obviously writing a book. That was the first time I thought maybe I should write a book. And so I googled how do you write a book? And then I wrote a book and then I self published my book. Right? So I. So I didn't know I was going to do any of those things. And then when I googled how do you sell books? I found out you speak. And I didn't know speaking was a career that I could get paid a lot of money for. Hello. Had I known that, I would have quit corporate America 20 years ago and just gone into speaking. Oh my gosh, missed opportunity. But we're here now. So I guess my point is you don't need to know what it's going to look like. You need to raise your hand, put yourself, yourself out there, start having the conversations and taking the steps to move things forward, trusting that you will figure it out along the way. And I know that's the antithesis of corporate America. So it's super scary and hard at first, but over time and through discipline and showing up, you'll teach yourself that all successful people don't know the how. They just bet on themselves to figure it out along the way. And that is exactly what we're doing. Okay. And then in closing, I had another really good call this week with a gentleman that I've been working with. And he's been back and forth with his employer on his new contract agreement for 2021 and beyond. You know, when you're not in the throes of someone's life day to day, you only meet with them, you know, once a week or a couple times a month. Sometimes you can see things much more clearly than they can. Right. When you're in the 247 of it, you might not notice. Well, I asked him, I said, hey, where are we at with your contract? Did you get it done? And he says, and this is after, gosh, it must be six weeks. Four or six weeks. And he said, no, we still haven't. He said, but, you know, I guess we all have to give some and you know, everyone needs to compromise. And I said, whoop, pump the brakes. No, Number one, you over delivered for this year. Number two, the goals and expectations they have for you for next year are massive. Hang on, what if you were to leave? Stop looking at it from the company's perspective and start, start looking at it from your value perspective. They will be crazy to let you walk out that door. In fact, they need this contract down a million times more than you do. I don't think you're seeing your value or the leverage that you have. And I remember being in that similar situation thinking, oh, I want to get this done. But they're not giving in. Okay, maybe I should give in more. When the reality was they needed me and I needed to own that. And I convinced him, I said, listen, I own that. You know, they're asking you to triple revenues next year, that you killed it during a pandemic. Own that and go back to them and say, guys, I think we're all really happy with the performance this year. Correct. And get them to start saying yes, I think you're happy with my team and their performance. Correct? Yes, yes, you're doing a great job. And I think you're happy with the expectations and goals you set for me tripling revenue for 2021. Correct. Well, if you'd like me to do so, I need to get back to work and focus on delivering results. We need to get this contract wrapped up. As we've discussed. I sent you the changes that I need. I think my performance warrants it. Can we please get this done today so I can get back to work and delivering on your goals for 2021? Boom. Done. You don't need to be emotional. You don't need to argue. You don't need to fight. You just need to own your value and ask the company if you can please get back to work and stop being distracted with contract negotiations. Don't lose sight of your value. I'm not losing sight of mine anymore. And I hope that this episode left you with confidence and that you keep on creating your confidence all week. I will see you next week as I'll be creating mine right alongside of you. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're going to hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen.

No one succeeds alone.

You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it.

Come on this journey with me.