#9: A Compass of Fear & Faith with Chantelle Anderson

Thank you for listening to this Podcast 1 production available on Apple Podcasts and Podcast 1.

Each week. When you join me here, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. Come on this journey with me. Hi and welcome back, back to Creating Confidence. I'm so excited you're back here with me at it again this week. Before we get started, I need to talk to you about investing in yourself and creating knowledge for yourself. It's so important. In order to stay open and prepared for new possibilities, we need to keep learning and developing and we've got all of those opportunities at our fingertips. That's what the Great Courses plus is all about. I love this streaming service. It's founded on the idea that education should be accessible to everyone, not just to the people that go to Harvard. Right? I mean, they have professors from the best universities in the world, of course. Harvard, Yale, Stanford, all of the greatest schools. There are people from National Geographic, the Smithsonian. It's college level learning, but. But without a student loan, without the pressure of homework. And the Great Courses plus app makes it possible to watch or listen to any lecture anytime you choose. I recommend checking out their course. Mastering life's most powerful skill. I mean, what could be more important than being influential? Who knew you could actually learn it? Well, you can. It's on the Great Courses plus. You can up your game in any way that you want to write. Right now, they're giving my people, my listeners, a special limited time offer. A free month of unlimited access to the entire library. But to get this offer, you need to sign up now through my special URL. To start your free month today, go to greatcoursesplus.com confidence that's thegreatcoursesplus.com/confidence. You're gonna love it. So I'm so excited to hear what you think. So this week I wanted to do something a little different. I always want to mix things up and I'm interested to hear what you think about this. But I thought it would be kind of cool if I read one of my chapters from my book Confidence Creator to you. It's the chapter I chose is really important to me because it's about claiming your superpower. And this is something Gary Vee talked about when he was on the show, is that he never talks about what he doesn't know.

He.

He spends his time where he feels most confident. I call that spending time in your superpower. Right. If you are a creative person and you love painting and art, then you're going to be suffering if you're sitting at a desk working accounting or. I met this makeup artist that actually was working as a teller at a bank, and he was miserable. He was not confident, he was not happy. And ultimately, he took an opportunity and a chance to be an assistant, not get paid a lot, take a major pay cut, but to find his superpower, which is makeup and that creative outlet. So it's so critical to our core competence to finding out what is our superpower, where should we be spending our time, and how can we make that happen? Because the sooner that we do that, the better off we are going to be. I promise you that. So let's dig in right now to my book.

Oh, my gosh.

Confidence Creator. And by the way, I narrate it on audible so, you know, we can hang together while you listen to my book. Yay. All right, so here we go. It's chapter four. Claim your superpower. A few years ago, I took a trip to the doctor for a yoga retreat. Stop for a minute. Now with all the news on the doctor, it's kind of crazy. I forgot about this. Okay, back to the book. That was a great experience because I was able to meet a lot of very different people. But the person who made the biggest impression on me was a woman named Sharon. We had landed at the airport together and somehow wound up in the same van to the hotel. So we began chatting. I noticed that she was insecure and a bit lost, but she was also so kind and sweet. I fell in love with her right away. When she told me that she hated her marketing job and didn't know what she wanted to do with her life other than to get married and have kids, it began to make sense. I understood exactly where she was coming from. Over the course of the trip, it became clear that yoga was what Sharon enjoyed, and she was great at it. When we returned home, we stayed in touch on Facebook and through friends, we. Only a few months later, I saw where she resigned from her job and completed a teacher training course in yoga. She even started teaching a class in Miami beach, where I live. I hadn't seen her since the trip, so I decided to take one of her classes and support her. When I walked in the door, I almost did not recognize this girl. She commanded the room, but moved in a sweet and delicate way that was inviting and allowed everyone to feel comfortable. She didn't seem awkward anymore, and she didn't seem nervous either. She seemed at home. It was so clear that she had found her calling over the past few years, she has traveled the world teaching yoga. Sharon had the courage to follow her heart and it not only built her confidence, it changed her life. Sharon had found what I call her superpower and she'd inspired me to find mine. I was stuck in a rut. I told my friend Todd how it felt like I was floating through life without realizing my potential. I had no idea how to get myself where I needed to be. Do something you've never done before, he told me. I laughed at first because it sounded so generic, but he was serious. Get out of your comfort zone. See what you can learn from an experience. Okay, why not? Todd suggested I take a stand up comedy class. What the heck? At first, it was the craziest idea I'd ever heard. I did not want to be a stand up comic. I didn't have any free time and I definitely didn't think I was funny enough. But the one thing that struck me was how much I didn't want to do it. So I knew it would be a good confidence builder trying something new that I was nervous about. I was willing to give it a try, but there was no way that I was going to do it alone. So I convinced my friend Sherry to sign up with me.

Wingman.

We worked together and had high pressure management jobs in radio. We also both had kids the same age, so our time was very limited. I convinced her to tag along by saying that if I can find the time to invest in me, she can do the same. It worked and she was all in. There was no way to sugarcoat it. The class was painful, the people different, maybe even a little strange. They were definitely not the type of people who I was used to surrounding myself with. They were mostly introverts who wanted to come out of their shell. But it made me appreciate my own individuality and how different I was from them. We did strange breathing exercises. We had to grunt. Some nights we would crawl around on the ground and act like animals. And no, I'm not kidding, that was about as far outside my comfort zone as I could get. A few weeks into class, we all had to take turns standing up on stage alone and speaking for a full five minutes. I saw it was very stressful for some, but it gave us a chance to support and encourage one another, which was really great. When it was my turn, I didn't feel stressed or worried at all. I easily used all of my time and talked about some crazy thing that happened to me after a speaking event. It felt really easy. I realized that I had the ability to speak and tell stories. I guess I already knew that I could do it, but that class allowed me to see that I was able to do it in a way that came more naturally to me than it did for others. That was one of my superpowers, and I had been downplaying it for years by telling myself that I wasn't as good as everyone else when it came to storytelling. If anything, I spent time actually avoiding my superpower because I thought it might be frivolous or irresponsible to indulge in something that I actually enjoyed when I should be chasing a paycheck. It took decades for me to realize how wrong I was. The funny thing is that I never would have known that had I not taken that comedy class. So how do you find your superpower? Like with most everything, there is not just one single way everyone's unique. But the answer is already inside you. You just have to fish it out. One technique that could help is journaling. I've mentioned it before, and I will keep mentioning it because journaling has proven to be an invaluable tool in my life. Journaling can help you chart your progress, see how much you've grown, but it can also help you identify your superpower. When looking back over what you've written, try reading in between the lines. Look for patterns. Those patterns will reveal when you're your happiest, your best. Those are the keys that can help point you in the direction of your superpower. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Ask friends and family, because they are the people who know you best. A few years ago, I was honored to be the recipient of the Glass Ceiling Award. It was given to Florida business women who highlight and mentor and advance others. I was told that I needed to speak on my unique value proposition. At the time, I wasn't really sure what to say, so I reached out to people in my personal and professional life and asked them what they thought. The responses I received were fascinating. I was able to see myself through the eyes of others so clearly, and I loved that feeling. Learning what others found unique about me was priceless and also incredibly uplifting. We all know that person who absolutely shines when they are at work, the person who loves getting up every morning. Why can't that be us? Why can't we put ourselves in a situation where we are using our superpowers and enjoy ourselves every day? The majority of our time is spent at work, so why suffer through that? Take the time to find your superpower. It's different for everyone. And no one's superpower is better than the other. Invest in yourself. Once you find a way to hone your superpower, it will make you more confident, productive, and give you that invaluable feeling of self worth and success. Discover where you should really be and chase after it as if your life depended on it. Because in a way, it really does. Okay, that was chapter four of my book. I hope you liked it. That's Confidence Creator coming at you. I wonder if it actually sounds the same in the audible version now. But enough of that. I need to get you up to speed on a major opportunity for you. Would you like to get paid to shop?

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Thank you so much. I'm excited to be here.

I am too. You know, you're reading your bio and learning about you. I feel we have such similar paths. However, I just don't have the professional sports background. I mean what's up with that? I need a little WNBA in my life.

I mean you are a rock star all in yourself. So not needed. But yes, I do say that the WNBA and basketball in general really prepared me in every way for what I'm doing now.

So I'm sure, I'm sure, I mean that getting on any massive platform in the world, whether it be through sports or speaking or anything, really gets you to that next level. So to that point, I always love to ask my guests what was your biggest confidence building opportunity and or your confidence low moment?

Oh my gosh. That, that. So I did not grow up confident. I was very insecure as a kid. Your audience.

Yeah, I can't believe that. I mean people always say that.

But you know what, like your audience can't see me, but I'm six foot six. I'm athletically built. I had glasses that took up my whole face. I was on the math team which took me out of the cool club immediately. Right. I did not have a lot going for me. I was not somebody that was thought of to be pretty at all growing up. And so it's kind of a late bloomer. I got bullied and made fun of a ton and so I was very insecure and did not have the best home life either. But I would say the moment that changed my life was after I had felt like I built confidence in my basketball career. I retired from the WNBA and my confidence crashed and I had zero confidence. Like so many athletes, I didn't know what else I had to offer the world other than my basketball and athletic talents. And I realized that at that moment I had built confidence in what I did instead of who I was as.

A person that's so interesting for me. My parallel moment to that is I built confidence through my paycheck and my title in corporate America. And when I was fired and that went missing, suddenly you have to say, how can I rebuild it from an authentic level that can't be taken away anymore?

Exactly. And that's what I had to do. I was like, okay, if I build confidence in what I do, you know, either our careers, our paychecks, our image, whatever, if I build confidence in that, it can be taken away. But if I build confidence in me and things that bigger than me, then it can't be taken away. And I can take that confidence then to anything else I do and apply it.

That's the most powerful thing in my belief anyone can do for themselves. However, it's elusive to so many because you and I both grew up having not the most ideal, you know, situations as kids and not feeling good about ourselves for various reasons. And when you're in that place, you don't know how to build confidence. In fact, I. A few years ago, I just Googled, how do you build confidence? Yeah, there's not a lot of direction that's readily available out there. So how did you discover how to make that authentic confidence for yourself?

That's so funny. I googled it too. And they tell you things like, do a power pose and wear perfume, and you're like, yeah, yeah, okay, thank you. But nothing really meaningful. Right. For me. After I retired from the wnba, I took a year off and I said, okay, I have to figure this out. And I asked myself the hard questions and I did the inside work. And I don't think a lot of people don't know how. And some people are not willing to actually go in their head and heart and mind because it's messy in there and search around and ask the hard questions. And so I did that, and I listened to the answers that I got, and then I took action to resolve them to fix whatever I needed to fix and to take action to fix it.

What are some of those hard questions that you had to ask yourself?

Yeah, so one of the things I talk about. So there's seven questions. I broke it down into seven parts of confidence. And the first one is your relationship with fear. So I talk about, how do you see fear and what do you do with it? And one of the things I realized was in the moments that I was so confident was when I was chasing fear, when I was going after fear. But when I was not living confidently were those times that I was really running away from fear and not looking it in the face. And I hear so many people talk about be fearless. I'm fearless. It's like no one's fearless.

No, that's bs. I completely agree with you.

Right.

Anyone who set their fearless is lying.

They're full of it. And they're actually really insecure because they're trying to hide the truth that they are paralyzed by fear.

Exactly. We all feel fear for sure. And so what I had to learn and what I teach my clients and help them do is to really use fear as a compass. Knowing that fear hangs out with anything worth doing. You're not going to go to the next level or do anything great without fear. And so it's about using it as a compass instead of something to run away from.

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I couldn't agree more. And hearing you talk this reminds me something so funny. Our talent director came to me about you as a guest on my show and she said, is this too close to home, Heather? Is she too much of a competitor for you? And I said I'm, I'm so happy you asked me that question. I don't believe I truly mean this today. From a very real standpoint, I don't believe there's competition for me or competition for you. You know, I believe that we are all our own unique person and we come from things. Yes, you and I might talk about things similarly. I talk a lot about fear as a Green light, you talk. Fear is a compass, and I love to hear that from you. But we're coming at things from our own past experience, our own vision for our future and our own goals that they're not the same. And it's so important for people to know that. That women can work together, anyone can work together, even focus on. Yes, you and I both want to help people achieve confidence, but we can do it collaboratively instead of competitively. And I really like that about you because I see that in.

I so much agree. And here's the thing. Somebody could write the same exact script for us and put it in front of both of us, and we could sit in front of a camera or sit in front of a microphone and say the exact same thing. And there's going to be someone out there that's going to look at you and be like, oh, my gosh, I love her. And then going to look at me saying the exact same thing and be like, no, she's not for me. And vice versa.

Absolutely.

You are made to relate and appeal to a certain audience, and I am made to relate and appeal to a different audience. And they might overlap, but at the end of the day, we're gonna reach who we wanna reach. It's not about competition. And I think that the more we really embrace that, the higher we're all gonna go, and the more people, more importantly, the more people we can impact.

It's so important and in society. And you and I are both competitive people. I know that from your background. I just know that from my psychotic self. So here's the thing. You know, there's been different times in my life where I am intimidated by people that I felt like this is competition for me. Or she could take my boyfriend or my job, or I've thought a million of those different things. It's a seismic shift to go from seeing others as a competitor, seeing others as potential for us or what we can be, or to applaud and clap them on. So how do you make that, that difference in your life and in your vision?

Well, I honestly have a confession to make. When I walked up, I saw you walking down the hallway, and I was like, oh, my gosh, is that Heather? She is stunning. And I went to the bathroom and I was like, okay, Chantel, you're beautiful, too. It's okay. And it's so funny because I talk a lot about being your own, being beautiful in your lane.

Yes, right.

And being confident in who you are in your lane. We look totally different. Right. And so I don't have to be your type of beautiful to be beautiful.

Right.

And that's what we have to remind ourselves is somebody can be great at what they do, but they're not you. You have the responsibility to be great at being you. And then when you are confident in the fact that you are you, you will not be threatened by somebody else who is great at being them. Exactly. That is the most important thing, is to own your lane, work in your lane, and realize that that's okay and that's enough.

It is. And what you did, you know, going into the bathroom to remind yourself, oh, hey, don't forget who you are. You know, you've got this and you rock. I am such a believer in that. And we. I write notes on the bottom of my shoes, like, I can. I am. I love me. You know, I do this. But we all need to pick ourselves up once in a while. And then, like, you know, when you came in here and met me, you said to me, you know, you're so pretty. And I said, oh, my God, do you know how much work this is? The reality is we look at everything for face value, all of us, myself included, right? And I'm like, oh, this girl has it all together, and she's younger than me and she's ahead of work. We can all get into that mindset so easily. However, we can pump the brakes and stop it real quick, too, and say, let's keep it real. Come on. Like, you know, I didn't wake up like this. Let's put it out.

None of us did. Let's.

We didn't. But I think it's important for our listeners to know that, because when they see pics of us on Instagram, you know, this is after I get hair and makeup, and I want people to know I didn't roll out of bed like this. Occasionally, I'll post a picture of me rolling out of bed. Not that often I'll do it. But, you know, we just live in this world where it's not real all the time, and then we compare ourselves to these unreal ideations of where we want to be or we think we should be, and it's not fair to us.

Yeah, it's totally not. And I think Instagram has been great because it has given a platform to all different types of beauty. Whereas before, we were prisoner to what the networks wanted to show us or what, you know, media. But. But now we can have all different kinds of beauty. But the other thing Instagram has done is paint that picture of Perfection. And for us, we have to know that they didn't wake up like this. And then we have to switch it and be like, you know what? I'm not going to do that to that other woman where I'm not sitting out there putting out this picture of perfection. I'm gonna keep it real so that it makes it easier for her in. In her own confidence journey.

I know, but, Chantel, that's hard sometimes.

It is hard. It is very hard because the other day I cut my hair, and I. I mean, I'm black woman. I wear wigs. I change my hair often, right? And so I cut my hair. I changed it to short, and somebody came in my DMs and. And said, please don't cut your hair. I don't like seeing you like that. And I was like, hold on a second.

Do you want to poll out there if you liked my hair?

First of all, who are you? Right? Like, who are you? And why would I care? Right? And so the thing is, it is vulnerable. It is hard putting ourselves out there, because then we're opening ourselves up for fire, for criticism, for all of these things. But at the end of the day, and this is where confidence comes from. And really, validation, What I have had to learn is that if my validation comes from me and from the God I have faith in, faith is a big part of my life. So if that is where my validation comes from, then when somebody tries to hurt me outside of that, then, yeah, I'm gonna. I may have to give myself a pep talk a little bit. I may have to encourage myself a little bit. But at the end of the day, it doesn't rock the found of my validation. And that's so important for us each to build that and build that intentionally, which is why we both talk about confidence.

It's so important. And that we didn't have this information when we were younger to know. I didn't even know the confidence was a choice when I was a kid.

Me neither. I felt like certain people were confident, and then I was not one of them.

And that was just the way it was going to be. And it's so not the case. You know, I talk a lot about. In every moment, you're either creating confidence or chipping away at it. Right. And one of the reasons why I say that is I remind myself, like, how you did today. If I'm really getting nervous going into a situation, I say, I can run from the situation right now. I will be chipping away at my confidence or I can walk in and give it my best shot and hope it goes for the best. And no matter what the outcome with that choice, I just created confidence, and that's what I want people to know, because it doesn't happen in an instant. It happens through each choice and each step and showing up each time.

Yes. I always compare confidence to a workout plan.

Yes.

You're not gonna go to the gym for a month and be like, yes, I'm in shape for the rest of my life. No, that's never gonna happen. You go to the gym every single day, and you build a little bit more strength and endurance. And it's the same with confidence. You may have that one moment where you walk on stage and you kill it. And in that moment, you are absolutely confident. But then there's gonna be something else that you have a choice to act confidently, to live confidently, or to not. And confidence is that workout plan. It's building it step by step and consistently building it and maintaining it. So I love. I love what you said, and I'm totally on board with it.

That's every day. You're so right. So you just brought up speaking. So I'm super interested in this, and I know my listeners are too, because we both hear a lot people want to know about speaking. How did you get into that? You've gone through this successful career in college, successful career in the wnba, but each time you leave that, you take that leap of faith into that next step. Scary zone. Right? Like, I'm a rookie now. You know, you go to be a rookie in wnba now you're a year off on your own after wnba, how do you pivot from that life to the speaking career and becoming an entrepreneur?

Yeah. So after the wnba, I got into coaching basketball, but that's still in the sports industry. Then I got in medical device sales, and that was, for me, the biggest leap of faith was, oh, my gosh, I'm going into a completely new arena. I've never done this before. I don't know how to. But what I say is transferable skills always transfer. And so when you are going from one area to another area, you have to break down the skills that you have built in that initial area in that first area and say, okay, how can I use what I already do well in this new arena? And that's what I did for med sales, and so was successful in medical device sales. And I realized I'd always wanted to be an entrepreneur, and I realized that I was doing the same exact thing for my company that I would need to be doing for myself as an entrepreneur. And I was making them a lot of money and I needed to apply those same skills to my own business.

But how do you get the confidence or courage, like, what was the moment or catalyst that got you to jump from that safe space to this new space?

I was actually working out one day and I connected two things. I said, number one, I am in a capital sales job, which is crazy in itself because capital sales is like a 6 to 18 month sales cycle. It's super long and you're making 100% commission. And entrepreneurship is 100%. Yeah, it's eat what you kill. Right. And so when I connected that, I was like, oh my gosh, I might be able to do this. And then I had a conversation with myself where I said, okay, if. What happens if I fail? If I don't do this, I'm going to be working for someone else for the rest of my life. And I'm going to always wonder if I could have done it. But if I do it and I fail, then I'm going to be working for someone for the rest of my life. But at least I will get rid of the what if.

Oh, it's the same outcome. That was a great way to view it. You're right. You would just go back and work for somebody else again.

Yeah, I can always get a job. And so that it was like, it was a no lose situation for me. I'm going to go try my dreams. I'm going to jump on a try to make this happen. And if it doesn't happen, then you know what? There's a lot of people who didn't have the guts to try in the first place that are going to judge you. But who cares? They're going to judge you from sitting behind a desk that they've been at the whole time while you went and chased your dreams. And at the end of the day, you're gonna live with the peace and. And the confidence. Yes. To know that I tried it and it didn't work, but I gave it my best shot.

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So from basketball, it's competition, it's showing up every day, it's denying yourself. So when you don't want to go to practice and you're tired and you get up and go anyway, that is something you apply to entrepreneurship all the time. You know when When I was a basketball player, it didn't matter if I was crying five minutes before game. When the lights came on, I had to show up and perform, put my feelings away. Right. We do that the same. Same time. If we're nervous before the game or before walking on stage or before walking into somewhere, you know, we put those away and show up. And so those are all things that I learned from basketball, from coaching, and also from medical advice, sales. I learned how to manage the territory. I learned how to keep everything in order. I learned how to build relationships, turn strangers into friends, into business relationships. And yeah, so a lot of that interpersonal. Those interpersonal skills I learned and honed in sales. And so all of those I put together. And that is exactly what I do every day, depending on the day for myself and my business.

Do you believe that everyone is in sales?

Yeah, we're all selling something, but we were created to all sell something. If we find someone you love, you find a nail technician that you love or a hair stylist that you love, you are gonna go and tell your friends. We were all created to be that way. It's all about finding that thing that you love and then turning it into your job, because then you can sell what you love, and it's completely natural.

I talk about this a lot, but so many people, myself having been one of them. You don't sound like someone that ever really got stuck in this where you're in a comfortable spot and it's just, you know, you're afraid to get out of it. And, well, you know, it's the devil I know versus the devil I don't know.

Yeah, no, I was in that position in medical device sales, so I knew that I wanted to leave after two years, but it was really good money and it was a really good company, and I didn't leave until four years. And so I had a conversation with one of my friends and I had moved. I left my other job because I didn't have the time, freedom to build my business on the side. So when I got into medical device sales, I started building my business on the side because I had more time, freedom, and. But I wasn't doing anything with it because I was. I was okay. I was comfortable, and I was having a conversation with him, and he said, okay, so let me get this straight. So you moved to chase your dreams and to build your business, but you're not doing that? How does. How does that make any sense? And I was like, huh? You just totally called me out. But that's a good. That's a good question. Let me think about that.

That's a good friend.

Yeah, it was a really good friend.

We need those people that say, you have broccoli in your teeth. And that's what he just told you. I mean, you know, you had to pull the trigger.

Oh, yeah. And that's one thing I talk about a lot in confidence building. You have to have people around you that are going to make you feel valuable as you are, but at the same time inspire you and help you to be better. And they don't make you feel worthless as you are. They make you feel valuable and worthy and great and amazing and all that stuff, but they still challenge you. And that is such a difference, just to surround yourself with those kind of people.

Have you always had that great team of people with you around these different journeys that you've been on?

No, I wish I would have, but no. It took me a while. And I go back to, you know, there's a quote that says, we accept the type of love we think we deserve. Sure. And when I really started to go after my own confidence and then to go after my own faith and my own worthiness and, you know, just really believing that I deserved that love. And then also getting to the point where peace was more important than excitement, because this was the thing. There is a group of people, and we've all had them, that they're fun and they're exciting and they make us feel great and, you know, all that stuff. But at the end of the day, they're not really going to have our back. They're not loyal. They're not challenging us to be better. They're. They're not giving us that peace that we need to really be our best selves and to chase our best lives. And so for me, I had to decide. I had to stop putting myself in those situations that were pure excitement and decide that I was worth the type of love and relationships and experiences that were going to give me peace and push me to be better.

Oh, my gosh. That sounds more like romantic relationships to me. What you just described.

It was. It is romantic relationships, but it's.

But it's also friendship.

It's also friendships. It's. It's friendships. It's business partnerships, it's romantic relationship. It's every type of interaction that you have with people. Think of. I think of when I went. When I got to college, I. I went out all the time. I partied all the time. I definitely had my wild rebellious phase that lasted a While. But yeah, so you did pretty well while you were there too. Oh, my God. It was pretty fun. But I realized that when I started getting a little bit of a name for myself and I started hearing stories about, oh, I was with Chantal Anderson last night and we went to this club and we drank this. And I'm like, wait, what? And these were not romantic relationships. These were girlfriends. These were people I considered friends. Right. And at that point I was like, wow, that weekend of excitement was great. It was fun. We had a blast. But at the end of the day, like, do I want to surround myself with those type of people who are just there for the, for the first and last name gossip stories? No. So at that point, the people I surrounded myself with became a lot more important and just it continued to build from there. And then when I left basketball, that was another thing. Like, I can no longer hang out with athletes that are not looking past what they are doing on the court. No, I have to look, I have to hang out with people that want to make a legacy off of the court as well and that want to be known as more than an athlete and want to pursue being a whole person. And so there's different levels, but we have to choose different circles for different levels. And hopefully you pick people who can come with you to the next level. But sometimes you don't.

Sometimes they can't go.

Yeah, sometimes they can't go. And that's hard. You have to say no to sentimentality, but it's hard. And it doesn't mean you can't still think, stay in contact. But your inner circle is, is one that has to. To serve both you as a person. Serve. I don't mean wait on, but it has to benefit you as a person. And where you're trying to go, better choices, better results.

And it just. You explained that you made better choices on the people that you picked to have in your life.

Yep.

And it took you to the next level, helped you to get to that next level. How did you get to that speaking level?

So after leaving, and this is. Mentorship is so important. And when I was leaving Stryker, the president of Stryker Medical, his name is Brad Saar, he's amazing. And he was one of my supporters while I was Stryker. He was great, gave me advice all the time. He said, you know, Chantel, I know you're trying. I know you're going to start doing the online course thing and you know, you want to do the online business thing, but there are people. You have a message and you have A presence. And there are people in the corporate arena that need to hear what you have to say. And so I would. I would start speaking. And I was. I was like, oh, my gosh. Because speaking is something that people have told me I needed to do forever. They're like, you're a natural. You need to do it. And it was always something I was scared to do.

But I want to make a point and highlight what you just said. When you're hearing something over and over again from people in different people, stop and start listening, because there is a message there.

Oh, for sure, for sure. And I didn't realize that it was still something I was scared to do. And so this was March of 2017, and in January of 2017, I had made it my New Year's resolution to do everything I was afraid of that whole year of 2017. I said, okay, I'm gonna do every single thing I'm afraid of.

That's ballsy.

I tell people to do this all the time. And I started it. I jumped out of a plane. I went skydiving on December 26th of 2016. And then that was my kickoff of my New Year's resolution of doing everything I was afraid of all 2017. So that was there. And then Brad told me at the end of February when I was getting ready to leave that I needed to speak. And I realized that it was still something I was scared of. So, you know, I was like, shoot, I gotta do it. I gotta do it. And so I was like, okay. So I put myself out there. I started researching speaking engagements and conferences and all that stuff, put myself out there, and it ended up booking six national speaking engagements in the next two.

To three months for our listeners. This does not happen to most people, just FYI. But I'm very impressed.

Thank you. So it was. I mean, I wasn't on six stages, but they were booked in the next two to three months. So for the next year, I spoke, and this is where you have to invest in yourself, because they were not all paid speaking engagements. But if someone had a big enough audience and they were willing to put me on their stage, I was going to go and I was going to.

It's what you have to do to build that business and build the ability.

Yeah, for sure. And so I did that for the rest of 2017. And then I said, okay, now. Now I'm charging. And so from that, from that kind of speaking tour, I had built up enough corporate contacts, so then I just started reaching out and pitching them. And from there, I was able to for the next year 2018 build a roster of speaking engagements that were then allowed me to to support myself full time.

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Wow, that's still pretty fast. Building that entire business in a year's time.

Oh, thank you.

That's very impressive.

I mean, glory to God. I definitely. There were times where I was like, oh, my gosh, I don't know how this is gonna happen. But it all worked out and I'm. I'm very grateful. I'm very, very grateful for it.

Where's your faith come from?

My faith. So I was raised in the church, but I had a point in time where I said, you know, I don't feel like God is real. I've seen a lot in the church, and, you know, it really hurt my faith. And so I'm gonna. I'm gonna leave. And I went and lived my life for a good part of time. And then from basketball, I ended up getting injured. I tore my Achilles, and it was the second major injury in eight months. And at that point, I had done everything I knew to be successful, to be happy. I had just gone through a. A really tough breakup publicly, and that was not fun. And so I said, man, I've done everything I know to be successful, happy, married, maybe, you know, rich, all of this stuff. And here I am in a hospital in Turkey, injured again. I am single, heartbroken, and don't know what is coming next. And at that point, it was like somebody had taken the veil off my eyes and was like, I realized I am not in control. And if I am not in control, I need to follow the one who is. And so in that moment, in a hospital bed in Turkey, I decided, okay, I'm gonna do life God's way. I have no idea what that looks like. I don't know what that even means right now. But I. I'm not in control, and I need to follow the one who is. And so from that point, it just kind of grew and grew and grew. And then, you know, I found a great community of, like, faith based community who really, like, focuses on living it out, because that's so important to me. I'm an athlete, we're both competitive, we both have very high standards for ourselves. And so if I was Gonna do this faith thing. I wanted to do it for real, and I wanted to be surrounded by people who are gonna do it for real too. And then just got plugged in and, you know, started. Started from scratch, started from the bottom. I did not mean to quote that, but I just thought of. And now I'm here.

I love that song. I love that Drake song. That's my theme song. I love that thing. No, but you've done a lot of meaningful work, which I think is worth mentioning. Even the work you were doing in Miami.

Oh, thank you. Yeah. You're referencing. So I lived in Houston for four years. That was when I went in, was in med device sales. And then my church that I was part of asked me to move to Miami and plant a new church there. We plant about four to six churches a year. And so they asked me to plant the church in Miami. And so I moved to Miami for eight to nine months and started a church there. And then we were talking before, but I got a call to move to LA again because they were rebuilding a ministry for creatives and athletes called the ams, and it stands for arts, media, Sports. And so they said, hey, we're rebuilding the ams, and we want you to come out here and be a part of that. I said, whoa, what? Okay, I just moved, but all right. And then my family was already out in California. I'm originally from California, so it was perfect fit.

So is this the time in your life when you look back on everything and say, this is really the height of it. This is where I'm supposed to be. This is my passion and purpose?

Absolutely. This is. I am the happiest and the most myself I have ever been. Even more than when I was playing basketball, because I. I'm. Like I said, I'm 6 foot 6. I'm. I'm an athlete. Right. I was created to. To play and to do something athletic. But this, what I'm doing now, helping women find more confidence and more God and more intentional living, though, that is. That is the essence of who I am. I really believe that that is what I was created for. And I genuinely believe that everyone deserves to live a life that they love and that they can. Can do that. And I just. I want to help them do that.

That's such a beautiful thing. And. And that you're able to make a living, you know, out of it. I think it's so important to join Passion, purpose, as well as your value and your worth and be able to get paid for that. It's really important to connect those dots. And so many of us don't know how to connect it. But you just kept moving and taking action and taking chances to move forward, and it's paid off. And your newest initiative, Design youn Happy. Tell me about that.

Yeah. Design youn're Happy is about what I talked about, about my belief that every woman can and should love the life she has. And so nothing is built without doing it intentionally. And so for me, my sister and I grew up chasing what we called the have it all plan. And we wanted to have it all and get everything we wanted. And so what I did, when I was trying to figure out what this life looked like that I wanted to build after basketball, I went through a process back. I reverse engineered our have it all plan. I was like, okay, how did I do this? And I put together 10 steps that basically helped me take my vision and put it on paper. I say a vision board on paper, right? This is what I want. Okay, now how am I going to build it? And so I put together a life design plan and then I put it in a journal because I'm a huge fan of writing things down. And you know, and yes, and so I. At the front of my journal is the current have it all plan that I am working on. And then notes along the way.

What is your have It All Plan?

You know, it's so funny because I feel like the business I built, I was telling you a little bit about this, the speaking business I built. And, you know, having time and location freedom and being with my family, I'm like, what better does it get? Like, how much better does it get? So I really had to sit down. I was like, wow, I'm living the life I wanted. Now what do I want? You know? And glory to God, that's a good place to be.

Amazing problems to have, right?

But I want to continue building confidently his because so the corporate speaking business is visible confidence. And that is the confidence and leadership curriculum that I wrote that I take into corporations, right? Then I took that curriculum and I underlined it with faith principles. And now I teach it as a faith and confidence curriculum. And so to continue, like you said, I built the speaking side and the corporate side and continue to do that. But to continue to build the confidently his side into more meaningful interactions that do include faith and confidence, personal, like a. Like an event series. I'm planning my first conference. I have a meeting tomorrow to secure an event space in la and just. Just things like that. And then I'm single, so I do plan on or hope to get married at some point.

We're putting it out there right now.

Who knows?

Some great guys. We need some great guys up in.

Here, you know, but at the end of the day, I'm so satisfied with my life. I'm not really looking. I'm kind of just open to it, you know, And I'm like, okay, God, whenever your timing is, you know, you have done a much better job of choreographing my life that I have.

But what, you know, one of the big takeaways that I'm getting from speaking with you is that when basketball ended, you didn't end. Your happiness didn't end. In fact, it started this process to you finding your real happiness, which is greater than what the outside world might have thought the WNBA would have been. And that's really eye opening to me and parallels for anyone out there, that's getting out of a relationship and feeling like everything's over. Get you just lost a job, didn't get the promotion you wanted. That might be that pivotal moment that's steering you where you're actually meant to go.

Oh, yes, yes. I heard a quote. I don't know who said it. I wish I could give credit, but it's like every beginning came from another beginning's end. And we can sit here and we can be sad about something ending, or we can be excited about the new beginning that it is going to give birth to. And when you say that about the ending of the wnba, I agree because I look at people and they've had amazing basketball careers and. And God bless them for that. I personally, at that point, I wished I could have played, you know, five more years or whatever. But I look at that, I'm like, wow, I know who I am so much more now. When I retired from basketball, I had no idea the things that I was talented at. And now people look at me and they're like, well, duh. And I'm like, no, it wasn't that obvious for me. And a lot of people didn't see it. Most people don't see.

See that what that I call the unique value proposition. Your superpower, what that is. Most people don't see it. And it takes other people shining that light to say, this is pretty special what you've got here.

Yes, it takes other people. And sometimes it takes being put in a situation where what you thought it was is no longer it. Because if you would have asked me what my. You called it your unique value proposition. If you would have asked me That I said, well, I'm a basketball player. I'm, you know, I'm a good teammate. I'm good in locker room. As far as getting people fired up, all that stuff. I wouldn't have said I'm a speaker. I wouldn't have said I am good at influencing people to do what is in their best interests.

You didn't see beyond the game at that time.

No, but it took me having the game taken away to then see what else I had to offer.

That's it right there. It's so powerful for people to hear that because I mean, to me, especially with professional sports, it's such that in our mind that epitome of success and what do you do after that? But in fact, you showed us that was one of the rungs on the ladder. But you just kept going up from there. And that's a really amazing story. So thank you for sharing it with us today.

Oh, thank you. Yeah, of course.

So your website, Confidently his as well as Design youn happy your journals are available there?

Yes, the journals are available on Confidently his dot com. Also the My Confidently course that I do teach in corporate, but the confidence and faith course is on there as well.

You got to check her out because Chantel's got a great message, a unique message around building your confidence and doing it with mission and purpose. And she's living it. And I'm so proud of you.

Oh, thank you so much. And you're amazing. Thank you for having me on.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you for being here. I'm so excited.

Yes.

All right, thanks. And we'll be right back. Welcome back. I hope you enjoyed meeting meeting Chantel and we're inspired by her bounce back. It's really amazing what we're all capable of and how important it is to find our passion. It's important to find some other things too. So I just have to mention to you my new obsession, which is FabFitFun box. I mean, please tell me that you're subscribed. You've gotta get it. The 2019 FabFitFun Summer Box is on now and I'm loving it. Do you love discovering new products? Are you a beauty and fashion maven who's on the hunt for the next best thing? If you see my bathroom, you will know that that is definitely me. So FabFitFun is literally like Christmas morning four times a year. I'm so excited to open up that box. If you're stumped on a gift idea, FabFitFun is such a great gift to give to yourself or a loved one. You could surprise your mom or a family member. Maybe it's a college graduation present. But I have to tell you that FabFitFun's amazing because this month I opened up and I got the most luxurious new body cream and rose face spray and so many different face masks that I had never even heard of or knew about. And my skin is literally glowing. And I'm getting the greatest compliments. But I wouldn't know about these products or how to even find them if it wasn't for FabFitFun. Thank you for doing your homework and sending me the best of the best, greatest products that now I'm obsessed with. You know, FabFitFun seasonal, right? So it's four times a year. It's full size beauty, fashion, home fitness, and wellness products for only 49.99 a box. Full size products, no samples. Seriously, I wish I could have samples of them too, because I love the products that much. I want them with me everywhere. The retail value for the 2019 summer box is $269 to $467. And you're getting it for $49. Fantastic value. So many products that just. It blows me away. And it's gonna blow you away too. It's great for discovering new brands, new products, and if you want to figure out what's the best stuff out there that you don't know about, you need to get FabFitFun. I mean, it's just. It really. I didn't even know that there were these scrunchies that don't wrinkle your hair. Got one in my FabFitFun box. I mean, it. You're just gonna open your eyes to how much more is out there that you're not aware of. Sign up for FabFitFun today. These boxes always sell out. Use my code confidence and you get $10 off your first box. Go to FabFitFun.com sign up, start getting the box for a life well lived. Use promo code confidence to get $10 off your first box. That's over 200 for only 39.99. Go to FabFitFun.com and use my code CONFIDENCE to get $10 off your first fabfitfun box. I'm telling you, you're gonna love it. If you're like me and love products, which I gotta think you are.

Right?

Okay, so now I want to answer my Q and A and I actually wanted to share a quick story before I started that part, I've got a Facebook group. It's a closed group called Confidence Creator Crew and I saw this awesome post in there. I wanted to share. Ask and you shall receive. I've always been afraid to ask for what I want or need, but today I stepped out of my comfort zone. This afternoon I had a meeting with the owner of the company to go over some new software that I've been working on for implementation company wide. After we were done discussing the software, I took a deep breath and decided to ask for my own offer office. I'm currently working out of a cube in a noisy bullpen and it's making work pretty difficult to say the least. I said, after everything we have talked about, you can see how far I've come. Here are my goals for the future. Working on this project has been such a joy, but being able to focus in my current environment is very difficult. Over the past month I've noticed that there are several empty offices. Which one is available for me to move into next week?

Boom.

At first he laughed and looked at me as if I wasn't serious. So I said, I know that it's an odd request, but having my own space will help me concentrate and finish this project ahead of time. He then realized I was being serious and he said, you can have the corner office with the window. We will have it cleaned and ready for you next week. I'm so glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone and put myself first now to decide on my decorations. I thought that was so cool. So definitely you have to jump out of your comfort zone in order to take that next step and get to that next level. It's on you and I promise you the risk is worth it. There is no major reward out there unless you're willing to take a major risk. And honestly, that was not a huge risk. It was an ask what's the worst that's going to happen? Okay. Wanted to answer a couple of questions that I got. Okay, the first one is this. How do you present a simple step in a working process with a great value to your boss? You know, if you want to bring great value to your boss, first you need to get clear on what does that person deem as great. Right. We need to have some type of communication where they articulate to us what does success look like? How can I help and support you in a better way? What is meaningful to you? So you've got to have that conversation. And there is no boss in the world that Is be going to. Gonna. They're gonna be excited for that conversation. They want you to succeed. That's why you're on the team. How do you teach yourself to trust the brand or product you are selling? Now, that's an interesting question. Because if you don't already trust it, if you know, first of all, learn your product, right? You need to know your product from soup to nuts and know all the nuances. But if you've researched and done your homework and know your product and you don't trust the brand and product you're selling, you're probably selling the wrong product, right? You need to be authentic. And if you're selling something you don't believe in, that you've used, that you've seen fail time over time, probably need to join another company or sell a different product because you're never going to really reach massive success if you don't believe in it. How do I not criticize myself after every attempt to approach the customer and still want to be better? So if you're happy with the outcome that you currently have, keep doing it. Keep criticizing yourself if you are not happy with that outcome. What I would suggest is writing down what you would like to say to yourself and keep that piece of paper available so that whenever you start that negative rhetoric, you can hit up that page and start reading what it is you want to say, right? Positive affirmations work really well too. But if you want a different outcome, you need to try a different behavior that is discipline and practice and that works, you know, frequency cell. So the more we tell ourselves, I am confident, I am a smart person, I am talented, I am going to go at this again and keep trying. I am not going to give up on myself. You're going to feel stronger and stronger. Another great idea is to take a picture of a younger you or take a picture of your child or someone who's young that you love and talk to yourself the same way that you would talk to that person. That is really powerful. And I use that with my own son, actually. Whenever I am being tough on myself, which I can be at times, I think, would you ever speak to Dylan like this? Heck, no, I wouldn't. And I change my tone, I change my tune, and I change that narrative. And I talk the same way I would to my son, to me. And I say, it's okay. Everyone makes mistakes. And you know what? These mistakes don't define you. They help us get back on up, get stronger, and be better prepared for next time. So let's celebrate the losses. Let's celebrate the bumps in the road, because those things are what build character and allow us to become, you know, that potential, us for the future. So celebrate the challenges because they're bringing you to the right place where you're meant to go. Don't beat yourself up for it, because that outcome is a real negative one, and I want you to find your best self.