Confidence Classic: How to Persevere, Dream Bigger, and Win at Life with Justin Prince Entrepreneur, International Speaker, & Author

Your playing small does not serve the world. If you've got a song to sing, you got to go sing it. A book to write, you got to go write it. A podcast to, you know, produce, go produce it a YouTube post, go post it. A book to write, go write it. You got to get this stuff out because these gifts, these talents, this vision, this, this unis that that's inside of you is not given to you for you. It's given to you for all of us.

Come on this journey with me each week when you join me. We are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow.

I'm Read my Closeup.

Did you know I recently celebrated having created 450 episodes of this podcast and we are still going strong.

Thank you for listening. That is a lot of topics and amazing guests.

So I thought I would put together a few of my listener favorites for the month of September as bonuses on Thursdays to help you catch up on what you may have missed so you can keep growing your confidence with these confidence classics. Let me know what you think.

Meet a different guest each week. Hi and welcome back. I'm so excited for you to meet our guest this week. Justin Prince is a global entrepreneur who's built five multi million dollar businesses that have generated more than 2 billion with a B dollars in revenue. And acclaimed keynote speaker who shared stages around the world with the likes of John Maxwell, my friend J. Jay Kern Lima, and actually all three of which have been on the show. And a heart centered husband and proud father of four. Justin's parents divorced when he was only 12. He has no college education. I love that. And began his professional career working construction, flipping pizzas and selling animated bible videos from a mall kiosk. We gotta get into that one. In fact, his very first business venture left him below zero financially and his first sliver of success came while raising his kids in a one room loft above his in laws garage. That sounds tragic. Justin. Justin's unexpected rise, proven personal development strategies and tailored success systems have moved and motivated millions of people to create, design and live an unforgettable life. In his latest book, Be the One, Justin shares the precise tools, habits and action steps to help any reader do the same. I can't wait to get into all of it. Justin, thank you for being here today.

Heather, what an honor to be with you. I was sharing with you as we were jumping on one plus one. When you get the right people together doesn't always equal two, right? If there's A synergistic effect and with what you're doing in the world, you know, I'm just super honored to get our orbits to connect because, you know, I feel like it's three or more when the right people get together.

And it's crazy how small the world is. Just the circles that we run in the stages we've been on that we've never actually crossed path in real life. So I'm super excited that we connected on social and that we're connecting here today. All right, so I love a good come up story. I love underdog story. I love people that didn't have a silver spoon in their mouth. And so you're my people and I want to get into your backstory and how you went from this person struggling like you lived in a room above your in laws home. Like that just sounds tragic to me. So I want to hear all the tragedy into the triumph.

Yeah, I mean, look, my folks got divorced when I was 12. I was my mom's oldest, so my mom, when she married my dad, he had my sister and then my brother. So they were five and four when I was born.

And.

And so when they were divorced, I was the oldest at home, the oldest with my mom. And so you kind of grew up fast. We moved 13 times in the seven years through the teenage years. School was never, you know, school was never my thing. I was just like, man, I only wanted to play sports and talk to the girls, you know, and hang out with my friends. When I got into my kind of my working career, I was working at a mall kiosk selling animated bible videos. I'm 21 years old. I have no college education. My wife and I got married when I was 22. She was 25. One year and a month later, we have our little baby, my son Isaac. He's now almost 20. It's this crazy thing. You're like, the world's coming at you fast, life's coming at you fast, you know. So at 25, I start my first business. I kind of get the courage to go for it. I'm like, man, I'm. And I wanted to make my little boy proud of me. He was a year and a half old. I want to make my wife proud of me. I was like, let's do this. And long story short, the business fails, right? So I'm at this point, I'm below zero financially, back on credit cards, back on taxes. We move my pregnant wife and are now two kids into the loft of my wife's parents garage. So My two little babies sleep in the closet. My wife and I are sleeping in the room. I have two part time jobs. So I went back and got my old Bible sales job back, Tail between my legs, went back, hey guys, can I like come back? You know, and then I went and got another job. So I had a job during the weekdays at night and then a job on the weekends, you know, and you're just hustling, you're just trying to make a dollar, you're trying to keep the family afloat, the whole thing. But I still had dreams and I still had goals and I got enough courage to start a second business. You're basically burning the candle at both ends. My wife and I had six pregnancies. We have four babies. So she had a stillborn birth and a miscarriage. She was four for four C sections. And my wife, from the moment she would get pregnant until delivery, she would have that like basically the worst version of morning sickness, but it would last the whole nine months. So that whole time, this whole journey was just like, it was just a blur. You're just grinding and trying to make it happen. And you know, it's so interesting, Heather, at the time you kind of say to yourself, man, I wish I wasn't going through this and man, this is hard and am I ever even going to get there? Like, am I crazy? Am I chasing a fake dream? Is this ever going to be real for us? Like, I know it's real for other people. Will we ever succeed? And I, my guess is some of your audience right now, they're listening, like, hey, I know Heather's successful. I know I watch so and so on social media, but I don't know if I can actually do it, you know, do I have what it takes? And I, I've asked those same questions and I look back now and I'm so grateful for the struggle. I tell people there's three sections to the journey, there's the dream, the struggle, the victory, and they're all equal. So in other words, what we want sometimes in life is I have a big dream, right? I really want to accomplish something. I want a super small struggle and then a big humongous victory. Like, I want them to be, you know, disproportionate and they're all commensurate, they're all the same size. So for those of you that have dreams in your heart, goals, these visions in your mind of like, I want to live a significant life, I want to do something, make my kids proud, make my spouse proud, like do something in the marketplace, you're signing yourself up for a struggle equal to the size of the dream and a victory equal to the size of the struggle. And I share with people, take good notes in the struggle section, because people will relate more to your struggles than they will your victory. So in other words, this is where you build some empathy. This is where you build a little bit of heart. You'll be able to look people in the eye and be like, listen, I get it. You know, I understand where you're coming from. But then I'll also share this. And Heather, you know this. Your struggle is not your story. How you overcame the struggle is a story. So don't anchor in an identity of the struggle as the story. You are not the divorce, you are not the bankruptcy, you're not the addiction, you are not the failed business, the pains you're going through. That is not who you are. We all want to hear how you made it through this thing. So you got to get back up, go again, and, you know, make it through. So the drain, the struggle, the victory. By the way, what do you do for those of you that are in the victory section? Listen, you go sign yourself up again, you have big dreams again, and you go pay the price. And you just kind of keep repeating that cycle. Like, Heather, even with all the things that you've accomplished, you're still out there freaking hustling and making it happen. And like, you know, we were talking as we were starting, like, you got 57 things happening all at once. That's what dreamers do. You know, we just sign up for a bigger struggle, right? Bigger victory. So as I look back at that, that gave me so much wisdom and perspective to go through those years of grind and years of challenge and of struggle. And people have asked me before, I said, how did you get through? Why did you not quit? And this so interesting, the simple answer is, I just kept going. I literally was like a left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, keep moving forward. Augmentino, the great book, the Greatest Sales in the World. Scroll number three says, I will persist until I succeed. My friends, the word until can guarantee your success. Most people persist until it's hard. Most people persist until the client quits. Most people persist until that business fails. Most people persist until the sister in law tells them that, you know, you're an idiot, that the holiday party, not you and I, my friends, we persist how long until we succeed? And you keep adjusting and adapting and growing and listening and learning and just persisting until you succeed and that's literally, you know, that's a man. I was just too stupid to quit. I just kind of kept persisting and, you know, eventually kind of figure it out.

Well, thank goodness. So when you were describing that three step process to success, which I totally agree with, two things came to mind for me that I wanted to get perspective from you. On One, the struggle. Everyone always says, enjoy the journey. Which, you know, a big part of the journey is the struggle, right? The journey sucks when you're in it. Reflect back on it, then it don't you feel like it's empowering or is it just me that feels like that, sister?

They used to say to me, they'd be like, enjoy the journey. If you're not happy, you're not doing it right. And I'm like, I'm not happy. This is hard and I'm getting my butt kicked. And I am like not winning. And this is not fun. And it is not easy to keep your emotional state, like the way you show up your emotional energy at a peak level when you're in that struggle section. A quick formula I'll share with you. It's the E plus R equals O. So E plus R equals O. So three quick lessons. It's the event plus the response that equals outcome. Event plus response equals outcome. Lesson number one, the event doesn't equal the outcome. The E doesn't equal the O. Why? Because we get to own the R, my friends. You get to own your response. You get to own what? Viktor Frankl, who was hauled off into the Nazi concentration camps with his family, maybe the darkest time in human history, maybe this moment, certainly one of them. And he said, no matter what the guards took from me, they couldn't take what he called the gap. And it was his response to the events. He got to own the response. So, my friends, you get to show up with that same energy, that same passion, that same enthusiasm, that same dream, even though you're not there yet. Because remember, direction's more important than destination. You don't always have to be there. As long as you're just heading the right direction, keep moving in the right direction. Right? Second lesson, the R is not react. The R is respond. So great leaders don't react. Leaders respond. So you get back up. There's two great questions, by the way, I think we need to ask ourselves as leaders and people that are trying to, you know, be change agents in the world and make things happen. The first one is how far? The second one is how long? So how far do I fall when Negativity hits and how long do I stay down? Right? So the first one is a depth question, the second one's a duration question. How far do I fall? You know, when challenges hit me and then how long do I sit down? How do I choose to respond to challenges? And you say to yourself, I'm not going to fall that far. And you know what? I'm not going to stay down that long. Tony Robbins talks about his 92nd rule. He's like, yo, I'm going to whine and complain and be ticked and stressed for 90 seconds and then I'm moving on. Right? Third lesson is this. Your R creates an E for others. So the way that you choose to respond to the events of your life will create events for other people in their life. So the way that you choose to respond, your kids are watching the way you choose to respond, your spouse is watching the way you choose to respond, your employees are watching the way you choose to respond, your team's watching, you know, the way you choose to respond, the marketplace is watching and you are creating events for other people by the way that you choose to show up to, you know, didn't respond to the events of your life. And so you want to say, Mike, am I a creating a positive event for other people when they're watching this or a negative event? Right. So I think as you go through the process, you start finding some of the gems in the struggles. In other words, take good notes. But my friends, we got to get through this section. Don't fall too far, don't stay down too long, move forward, keep going, you know, persevere and persist until you succeed. So you don't, you don't revel in just the like, oh, this sucks and I'm never going to get out of this thing. You got to kind of keep that. I'm going to show up with high energy, high vibes, even as I'm kind of in the grind section still.

And for anyone listening right now, that's saying, how do I do that? Keep listening to podcast. It's so important who you surround yourself with. And if you can't be around high energy mentors on a day to day basis, then you can choose who you follow on social media for their TED talks, what books you're reading. You are so empowered. I hear so often people say, well, I don't wake up feeling like you every day. Well, I don't wake up feeling like me either every day. Right? Like I create it. So you make great points, Justin. But for anyone listening that's saying, well, I just don't have those people around me. Make better choices during the day on what you're doing. And to your point, around responding, not reacting. I love this and it took me so, so long to get it. And I just want to add a little color. From my perspective, what I learned was when I was reacting to what was happening around me, I was giving others power over me and that I was letting someone control me. Oh, pump the brakes. No more. For me, that was a light switch moment. I'm like, we went from on to off. Like, that's not happening anymore. So I learned through discipline and failure and trials that, okay, I'm triggered. Someone's got me. I'm going to walk away from the situation for 24 hours. I'm going to cool down. Even. This is so crazy. I had a trip scheduled this week for work and yesterday I've been sitting in airports a lot lately with delays. And yesterday I said to myself, I can't fathom getting on that plane this week. And I thought, sleep on it, Heather. Like, and this is just in my own head. No one's triggering it. It's myself triggering me about thinking about airports. And I just thought, how would you handle this? If it was somebody else, I would say take 24 hours, think about it, get a good night's rest. Like drink your water, you know, focus on the things that are good in front of you and then make a better decision tomorrow when you're feeling more empowered. You know, looking at the lens through all the opportunity and what you know, the outcomes are that you're working towards and what's going to work or not work for you. It's so important to respond with all the grace, class and tact you have within you. And we all have so much available to us versus being that person that's triggered and controlled by others. Meet a different guest each week.

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I asked you to try to find your passion.

Can I ask You a question. You just did something there that I want to see. If this is something that you or hyper aware of and something you teach or if it's something that you instinctively do. You almost talk to yourself in essence as a coach or a consultant. Almost like if you were to hire yourself, hey, Heather, if you were coaching you right now, how would you tell you to show up? Because sometimes I think we. Sometimes we know the answer. We know what to do. It's just that we're not acting in our best self. Is that something that you are cognizant of? Is that something that you learned? Is that something you teach people to do? Is to almost say, hey, listen, if I hired myself and paid myself big dollars to coach me right now, what advice would I give myself? Because oftentimes we know the answer. We're just not you. It's not applying it. How did you learn that?

You know how some things you said, like intrinsically you just know to do some things or maybe because I had a very difficult childhood, I had to develop coping mechanisms not being a mentor around, not having, you know, real leadership type person in my sphere every day. I had to figure out how to be that person. And not knowing how to. I started speaking to myself outside of myself. I had no idea from a neuroscience standpoint, like now I've interviewed people, I've interviewed doctors about it, and we have. I have whole episodes about what you just brought up. So thank you for bringing that point up. But I've done it so long that I just naturally, organically, intrinsically do it. However, I now I am empowered with knowledge to know that's the right thing to do. But just through doing it so often my entire life, I continue to do it. And Justin brings up such a great point. It's literally like stepping out of your body and speaking to yourself in the third person. And there is tremendous power and there's science behind that. So when you do find yourself in a rut, step outside of you and talk to you the way that you would want your mentor to speak to you. Because you actually can have just as much impact, if not more, by being your own coach or mentor. So thank you so much for bringing that up because, no, I didn't even know that I was doing that right now.

There's so much wisdom there, my friends, because here's what I think we should all remember. You're stronger than you think. You can overcome more than you realize. You got to give yourself a little bit of credit. She talked earlier about giving yourself some Grace and saying, you know what? We sometimes think that what we need is all external. It's like out there somewhere we all have that soul and that divineness in us where it says, I've got a little bit of wisdom. Now, I'm not suggesting there's not wisdom in counsel and that we're constantly pouring positive stuff in our minds. But you say to yourself, if I was coaching me right now, what advice would I give? We typically have some really pretty doggone good advice, you know, we need to follow it and we need to, you know, implement, have the courage to move forward with our own good advice, our own good intuition.

Oh my gosh, that's so good. One of my favorite things to do after I give a keynote is to do live Q and A. And I walk away feeling like, oh, I gave such great advice today. But to your point that I think, but I'm not necessarily taking it all the time. And yes, I was doing a solo podcast episode yesterday and I was reminding all my peeps what I to be reminded of, which is that, you know, when I get down or when I get negative, I dwell on the past. I have my bad habits too, just like everybody does. And it was so funny. I was on a coaching call with someone the other day and he was explaining to me, Heather, the reason why I have so much success. And the guy's got hundreds of millions of dollars, super successful company, but he's always investing himself in hiring coaches. Not. This is not shocking people. There's a reason why he's successful, but he's explaining. He said one of the things that makes me so successful in business, although he said, I think it hurts me in my personal life is I never live in the past ever. Not for 30 seconds. He said, it's like an inability of mine. He said, I'm constantly future thinking, future casting, future visioning. He said, and it's made my company so innovative and I bought and sold so many companies because of it. He said, but I find in my personal life that's been a weakness. And I need to kind of stop and pause and say, how can I get better? And I know that you, Justin, you've been able to build huge financial success, business success, at the same time having a happy family, a great marriage, this great spiritual practice. So with you, and I know you talk about this in your book, how are you able to succeed at both? Because so many of us struggle there.

Well, first of all, I'm working on a day to day. It's a constant practice. So here's the first thing I'd share. The first thing is philosophy. So let me share with you kind of my perspective on life. I'm a highly competitive person. So, for example, if you put me in an environment, I try and figure out, in essence, how do you win at this? How do you win at this game? So that means finding out the rules. Maybe you could model some of the best players or best practices, like you're trying to learn how to win. Right? So a lot of it starts with philosophy. The philosophy would be this. I feel like there's two races. It's actually the last chapter of my book. It's kind of this farewell chapter of the book. Be the one. The concept is this. The first race is the race we think we're all running, right? We're all in, which is success and making some money and building the business and having the following on social media and adding value and having the house and the car and all stuff. By the way, I hope you guys have all of those dreams and goals that you want to hit. I'm all about it. It's good for you. Second one is your relationship with your faith, the relationship you have with your spouse, the relationship you have with your children, the relationship you have with the way that you go about doing what you do. In other words, the way you treat people. Do you stomp on them or do you lift them up? Do you push them down or do you encourage people? Just like, how are you going about what you do if you win the first race but you lose the second race? In my opinion, you actually lost the race. You lost because the real race is the second race. But here's also what I'll share with you. People say to me, sometimes, you know what? I'm not successful, but at least I'm spiritual, you know? And I say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What you are is you're hiding gifts and talents that were given to you. Because remember, your gifts and talents weren't given to you for you. Your gifts and talents were given to you for the rest of us. You're playing small does not serve the world. If you've got a song to sing, you got to go sing it. A book to write. You got to go write it. A podcast to, you know, produce. Go produce it a YouTube post, go post it. A book to write, go write it. You got to get this stuff out, because these gifts, these talents, this vision, this, this unice that that's inside of you is not given to you for you. It's given to you, for all of us. You can win both races. You can have all the Instagram f followers and make a bazillion dollars, and you can hold your life together, and you can focus on the things that actually matter. Like I tell people, there's things that matter. There's things that really matter. You can win at both races. So that's the first philosophy, perspective. Second thing is this. Once you have kind of your priorities in line from a priority perspective, Jim Collins, he's wrote Good to Great. He says, if you have more than three priorities, you don't have any priorities, right? You got to say, what's priority number one? What's priority number two? What's priority number three? Like, what am I really trying to accomplish? So once you have that in line, then, my friends, then you start to get alignment. Like, one of the things I've tried to do with my wife is we would sit with the kids, and it's what I call enlist your family. So it wasn't my business. It was like our business, like the family business. So we sit down with my wife, hey, baby, here's, you know, some things. And so we make sure we build some goals that are mutual goals, you know, mutual plans with the kids. Hey, kids, listen, here's what we're trying to accomplish. And so put some rewards. It's what's called positive expectancy. It's a really great thing for all you that have children. It's a really great thing for all of you that have, you know, your employees and building your business. Positive expectancy. What does that mean? It's what's called hope. You're basically giving them hope. There's positive expectancy. So for the kids, it could be as simple as we're going to go to ice creams. It could be as simple as we're gonna go to the park and Mom's gonna push you on the swings and we're gonna hang out with no phones, just us. But mom's got to get five more customers. Can you help me get five more customers? And the kids, you also. It's their business. But, hey, mom, mom, talk to my teacher at school. And, mom, by the way, how many you got? You got three more, mom, let's go. Get to work. You know, the kids are enlisted in the business. Not your business. It's like their business, our business. You say to the family, you say things like, you know, if we do this, we're going to Disneyland. If we do, you know, baby, we figure this out, we're going to dinner and we're going to go for a weekend getaway. Like you start to build some positive expectancy, those date nights and some different things that you can do that we can work through. This is so important. It creates hope. Hope answers a question that we all have to answer as leaders. You know, right now we're going through just literally right now is the time. We're recording this. There's global conflicts that are creating a lot of uncertainty and a lot of really dramatic stress throughout the world. We have inflation, we have recession, you know, stress. This year we'll have elections in the United States. You know, it's very volatile time that way. So hope a leader. Napoleon said that leaders are dealers in hope, my friends. What you need to be right now is a dealer in hope. You're reminding people that the best days are ahead. You're reminding people there's vision. Why the hope? And vision answers this question. This is a great question that we all have to know, which is, will it always be this way? If your marriage is struggling right now, it needs hope. It needs vision. Why? Because we need to remind our spouse, baby, it's not always going to be this way. We're going to pull through this. When you're 15 year old, struggling with addiction, right? They're just going through it and they're just not even sure and you're not sure if they're going to pull through, what do they need? They need hope and they need vision. Why? Because you got to remind them, hey, listen, it's not always going to be this way. You can get through this. We're going to do it together. When your business is struggling, you know, revenues are down and maybe you're like, you know, at the verge of some layoffs and you're like, oh, boy, what are we going to do? And you're stressed out right now. The employees need your vision. They need your hope. What is hope? Answer. It won't always be this way. We're going to pull through this. Guys, here's the plan. Here's the vision. So that's the kind of stuff that we have to be casting out right now, is more vision. Visionary leaders. You know, I teach in my book A 3D Vision, you define it. Brennan Burchard wrote high performance Habits, biggest study of high performers in history. Said you could tap a high performer on the shoulder and you could ask him, heather, what's your latest dream? What's your latest vision? A high performer can answer that question 7 to 10 seconds faster than the rest of the population. Why? Because They've defined it. It's a burning desire. Dreams in the back of your mind won't motivate you. It's got to be on the tip of your tongue. Stuff you're working on. Heather, if I literally, I just said to you, hey, what are you working on right now? It just would have been like, you know, what's your latest goal? What do you, what's your latest vision? What are you excited about?

Speak to thousands of people at the biggest tech conference in the world. And I'm the only blonde American and I'm so proud of myself and I can't wait to get out there on that stage and show women across the world they can do. I'm so excited.

By the way, what a incredible experience to go to a completely different cultured country as a blonde haired white woman and be able to pour in. Entrepreneurship and vision is really, really profound on multiple cultural levels. So you define it, then you declare it. My friends, you gotta talk about this stuff. Don't keep big visions in your heart. Now you say, my friends will make fun of me. Listen, find people that will support you. Find people that will say, hey, you got what it takes. Find encouragers, right? You declare it. Visions that you hold into your mind, you won't hold yourself accountable. Go chase those down. But when you hire a coach, when you tell a friend you don't want to see them next week, and they're like, how's it going? You're like, oh my gosh, I've made no progress. You want to be like, dude, I'm moving forward, right? And then third is you dedicate, you dedicate your life to it. You know, you go make this stuff happen. I tell people you want to be a finisher. You know, Heather, I feel like we have a lot of big talkers and not very many finishers. You know, you want to. Thomas Monson said, stick to a task until it sticks to you. Beginners or many finishers are few. Be one of the few. Be a finisher and be the kind of person that if you say you're going to do it, you go make it happen. You know, I'm saying you find a vision, you cast it out there, you define it, you declare it, and then you go dedicate yourself to go make it happen. Those patterns create hope. Those that hope and vision answers the question, will it always be this way? And you can be the kind of person that people will follow because they say, listen, you got vision. People want to follow you with vision. They want to follow you. That Says, hey, you can help me get to where I want to go.

Especially when that vision is partnered with conviction, confidence. When you are so clear and so sure of it, people will start running with you. They will start wanting to join you. I mean, it starts moving. Okay, you brought up something that I think this is interesting because there's conflicting opinions out there in the world from very successful people. And I always like to bring this up when you talked about, if you've got an idea and it's on your heart, share it with somebody. Let them hold you accountable. I believe wholeheartedly the same way. However, Sarah Blakely, one of the most famous billionaire women in the world, she's big into and her story around, tell no one. She kept Spanx a secret for two years, literally telling nobody what she was doing because she felt her dream was so fragile and she didn't want people to crush it and harm it. So she said she worked on her manifestation. She worked on in her apartment at nights and on the weekends, but she told nobody about it. What do you say to those people? Say, I'm getting conflicting information.

Great question. I want to encourage all of us to press against all the personal development advice you get. Press against it. Like, how does that hit you? Right? How does that hit your soul? Press against it. Because the goal is not to be taught what to think. The goal is to be taught to think. James Bernard shaw said that 2% of people think, 3% of people think they think, and 95% of people would rather die than think. So, my friends, you want to be a thinker. You want to think through stuff, right? So I like questions like that. I think those are good questions. So here's my thoughts. Couple quick thoughts off the top of my head as far as declaring your vision, first thing is this. We have a tendency to have cognitive dissonance. We actually talked about it earlier. It's basically like, I know what to do. I'm not doing it. I mean, I think all of us can be like, I'm guilty of that, right? Sometimes when you put yourself out there, you kind of, like, put your credibility out there. You put your reputation out there. It allows you to do things not because you know what you should do, but because you know others are watching you. And so you kind of step up because of that pull. That's one thing. I tell a story in my book, and I'll make this quick. I did a men's physique show in 2017. This would have been. What is that? Now, seven years ago, my business Was, you know, at that point, we're doing about $120 million a year in revenue. We're like, you know, business thriving, Family was doing great, kids were healthy. Like, life was great. But my health, my fitness. I remember looking in mirrors, like, what? No, what happened? You know, it was like just. It was just below my standard, right? And my body fat was higher than I wanted. I just. I just below the standard that I want to live at. So I set 17 week goal, hired a coach, hired nutritionist, the whole thing. 17 week goal. And I thought I'd made the decision. I'm in. Let's go. I'm like, Mr. Personal the bell. But I missed her decision. If I do it, I'm going to make it happen. Well, I did a, at the time, a live video on social media. I was like, yo, I'm making a big change in my life. Here's what I'm gonna do. And I told this thing, and I had however many hundreds of people on, and that took, you know, thousands of views and whatever, and I just did it because I documented the whole thing. So I was doing it more honestly. Build the brand and tell a story. And the whole thing, that's the authentic reason why. Check this out. Sunday night, my little girls, after dinner, made cookies. Made chocolate chip cookies. My little girls at the time, seven years ago, would have been seven and five. These two cute little girls, right? Make these chocolate chip cookies. Remember that night, 11:30, 11:45 at night, I'm locking up the house. Everyone's in bed, lights off, and I see the plate of cookies, you know, like the leftover cookies. I remember just looking, I was like, oh, my gosh, I could smell. I could smell, you know, the chocolate chips. And I was so proud of my little girls. And plus, your daughters made it, so you gotta eat those, Howard. Those calories don't even count because, you know, your kids made it. And I remember thinking to myself, I could eat those and, like, wash the dish, put it in the dish. No one would even know. No one would even ask. No one would even care. But do you want to know why I didn't eat the cookies? It wasn't because my willpower is so strong. I didn't eat the cookies. And this is a simplistic example. I understand, but follow me through. The reason I didn't eat the cookies was because I told the thousands of other people, yo, I'm not going to mess up on this diet. I'm going to do exactly what I'm telling you. I'm going to go do so. That declaration kept me in the game. It kept me true to myself and true to my words. That's one thing. A friend of mine sat next to former president Ronald Reagan at a national charity awards dinner in D.C. they're up on the stand next to the podium, everyone else is in the rounds in the charity. And my friend turns to President Reagan. He says, president Reagan, how did you become the two term president of the United States? And Reagan says, you know, it's interesting. He said, when I was a young boy, I wanted to play football. And he said, I told some friends I want to be a football player. And they go, ron, you're going to get crunched out there. You're just a little guy, you're going to get killed. He goes, no. He goes, I ultimately played high school football. He said, I listened to those who believed in me and I listened to those who told me that I could. When he played high school football, he told some friends, he said, I want to become an actor. Like, I want to become like a famous actor. Move to Hollywood, do the thing you know. And his friends are like, ron, you're a football player. Like, what do you know about Hollywood and becoming a famous actor? He ultimately became a famous actor. He said, I listened to those who believed in me and I listened to those who told me that I could. He said, when I was a famous actor, I told some friends, I want to become the governor of the state of California. They're like, ron, you're an actor. Like, what do you know about becoming a governor and politics and the whole thing? He ultimately became a governor of the state of California. He said, I listened to those who believed in me and I listened to those who told me that I could. When he was the governor, he told some friends, I want to become the president of the United States of America. They're like, ron, you're a governor, like, what do you know about becoming the president? Right? Running the free world, right? He said, I ultimately became a two term president, United States, he said, because I listened to those who believed in me and I listened to those who told me that I could. So here's my concluding point on this. You want to give more weight to the words of those that believe in you and less weight to the words of those that don't. So when Sarah was in that spot of like, listen, I can't take any negative right now. I just, I, I, I can't even process. I'm like doing all I can do to hang in there. I understand What I would share with you is this. Imagine if someone said to her, sarah, you got what it takes, sister, you're going to pull this thing off. You, you're, it's gonna, you're, you've like, you've just got whatever it is, you got it, you keep going. That probably would have meant a lot to her. Why not? Because of the words, because of the weight she gave to them. If you ever done a social media post and you have 18 comments and 17 say, hey, great post, you really inspired me. And one says, that's the stupidest post ever, you're a loser. And you fret and click on and worry about the post and think for a long time, what do I respond? And would you even dare say that to my face? And here we are wasting all this energy on this one versus thinking about the 17 that we impacted positively. If someone walks up to you that's three years old and says you're stupid, you're just like, whatever, dude, where's your mom? If a 33 year old walks up to you and says you're stupid, all of a sudden we put a lot of time and energy, same words. The words themselves were neutral. But what happened? You gave more weight to the 33 year old's words than you did the 3 year olds words. You gave them less weight. My friends give more weight to the words of people that. Believe me, one of the things Heather mentioned this and I just want to. Heather, I'll throw it back to you with this, but you don't have to meet Heather, you don't have to meet me to read a book or to listen to a podcast and know that we believe in you. And I know that sounds so cliche. You're like, dude, you guys don't even know me. Listen, don't you guys think it's interesting we live in a world that if I told you I hate you, it'd be normal if I came on a podcast and told you, listen, I love you and I respect you and I respect the hustle and the vision that you have in your heart and the effort you're putting in. And I have a deep love and admiration for you. That's weird to say I love you and it's normal to say I hate you. My friends, be the kind of person that leans into people that says, you've got what it takes. You are the one, as I talked about in the book. And if you take your parents, grandparents, great grandparents, great, great grandparents, last 12 generations, it was 4,094 people, 4,094 people from all over the world came together to create you. You are the one. You're the one that these folks live for and bled for and cried for and died for. You are the one and you are the one that your life matters. It has value and purpose and meaning. And the book is not called Become the One. You are the one. The book is be. In other words, step into that person today. Be the best version of yourself today. Step into that greatness that is in your soul today. Those visions you have it what it takes. Just be that one today. Be the one today. So we believe in you, my friends. It's the craziest thing. I used to listen to these tapes and audios and you know, go to events and so on and now it's podcast and I would listen to and I remember thinking, I guess I'm just going to give some weight to their words. They see something in the world that it's possible because it is possible for you to live, design and create an unforgettable life where future generations look up and say, it was her. You know it was him. He's the one that changed it for our family forever.

Meet a different guest each week.

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I asked you to try to find your passion. Oh that's so beautiful and so powerful and wow. I never heard that example that you just made. It was so spot on with everybody would believe all day long you said I hate you. But it's so hard when you hear someone say I love you, I believe in you. You question that so quickly. But the hatred part is so easy to accept. So yeah, it's on all of us to change that. So a quick story that I have to share to your point. So when I got fired back when I was 43 years old, I had a non compete for the industry I had expertise in. So after 20 years becoming an expert in the media business, I couldn't compete, I couldn't go back to work there. So for 18 months I had to work somewhere else. I put a post up, it lands me on the Elvis Duran show. Halfway through the interview, Elvis Duran, big radio host, looks at me and says, well Heather, obviously you're writing a book. But I wasn't writing a book. I didn't know what I was going to be doing, right? No idea. I just was kind of taking action and swinging and missing and I didn't know what I was doing. And he spoke this belief, to your point, this love, this belief, this confidence into me and made me think I can write a book. And I jumped on a plane and I googled how do you write a book? And all these random people showed up, they just said basically right. And so I googled who's written books. And I looked at crazy full written books and I'm like, I can do that. Then suddenly, because of this one belief he had in me, I took it on, I accepted it. And it changed the trajectory of my business, my life, everything. I wouldn't be sitting here today doing what I do. I would have waited out that non compete, I would have burned through my, you know, 401k, my whatever, until I got to the point where I could go back and compete again against the company that fired me. And I would have stayed circling the drain in this one arena that was okay, but was definitely not my life's work, was definitely not the purpose why I'm here. And I'm so grateful to Elvis Duran for having a belief in me, but not only having it, speaking it into me. And to your point, everyone has the power to do that every day. When you see something great out there, when you see something special in someone, take the 30, 60 seconds to speak that belief into them. Because you never know the impact you can have on their life.

I want to press on that story cause I want to share this. I don't want to give you a really sincere compliment, but I want to ask you a question too. I love your point that we should speak into other people. I tell three S's you see people not as they are, but as they were born to be. So in other words, they're who they really are, their real potential. Number two is you say it to them, you speak life into people and then three is you schedule time with them. So I love that Point. What I want to argue is this, though, as powerful as his words were, his words themselves were neutral. You had an identity inside of yourself where when he spoke that, you gave positive weight to the words. In other words, you're like, yo, I believe you. You accepted that because you could have also said, you know, shrunk a little bit and been like, I can't write a book. Like, so my question to you is, where did you gain the identity? Success is an identity process. Where did you have the baseline identity to say, you know what, Ellis, you're right. You know, I can write a book and I'm going to figure out how. Like that resourcefulness you tapped into, where did that come from? Because that's the true magic of that story. For me, as I hear it, the magic is the way that you responded to those words, the way that you gave weight and said, you know what, you're right, you're right, you're right. I'm going to listen to what you just said. And instead of being like, I can't, I don't know how to. Have you ever coach someone that they do that? They're like, but I. What about this? And what about. You're like, dude, get resourceful. Like, what's up? You know, where did you get that baseline identity to say, you're right, I can do it. And let me go get to work and go make it happen.

Immediately. I go back to my childhood, you know, growing up poor and, you know, getting a paper route when I was nine years old, then busing tables.

Yes.

13, 14, then waiting tables, then become a bartender, then becoming the lead bartender, then taking that bartending experience and parlaying it into sales and then becoming the number one salesperson and then like, I don't know how to do any of those things.

Yes.

And so the more I look back on my career, my whole life has been stacking those different situations and events where I didn't know how to do it, figured it out, and they were small at first. Right. And they get bigger and bigger and they look big on the outside, but it's really just repeating the same process. Actually, my second book, Overcome youe Villains, it's a three step process. Beliefs, action and knowledge. The beliefs that I hold about myself, the actions I'm going to take on the daily, and the knowledge I continue to surround myself with to keep myself going and building momentum. That's it. But here's the thing. Frequency sells. And you know this. The more you keep stepping into that and repeating that process and doing it and believing it. I didn't even understand, Justin, what you just explained to me from that conversation with Elvis until right now. You're right. But I innately do it so often. I didn't stop and process it and say, he's giving me a neutral statement right now. How am I going to respond to this? I felt like he spoke a whole life story into me in that moment and that I was just now gonna go run with it and Google it and figure out how to do it, because that's what I'd always done.

It's so powerful. So we don't see the world as the world is. We see the world as we are. You know, I was listening to an interview the other day. There was two twin brothers. The one is a Fortune 500 company, high level executive. The other one's in prison. The father was in and out of prison and strung out on drugs, abusive relationships, the whole thing. They go to the son that's in prison and they said, how did you end up here? And he said, isn't it obvious? Look at where I came from. And they went to the one that was a Fortune 500 company executive. They said, how did you end up here? He said, isn't it obvious? He said, look at where I came from. And I'm sharing this with you because is those words of positive affirmation, positive vision for Heather. Hey, Heather, you got what it. Go write a book, sister. You got this. So, Heather, you have this, like, hunger and resourcefulness from all of that stacking that you've done over the, over the years. Tell people you want to. People are like, how do I get successful? Number one, bloom where you're planted. Like, bloom where you're planted. Become the best that you could become right now, you know, become as high level at your current career as you can right now. Sweep those streets with as much perfection as you can. Make the subway sandwiches the best that anyone does at the store. Be the best executive assistant or sales professional or whatever. You know, your career, best CEO. You're the best in your profession, right?

You.

And then you start stringing wins together, because the wins you learn how to win and strings them together. I think that's so remarkable how you took that and you instantly tapped into your resourcefulness and you said, you know, watch this. And then, you know, here you are. Those statements change your life. But it really changed your life is those three words you said. How did you say? It was belief, which was your identity. Right. Two was action, which you instantly did. And then three was get into knowledge. So you are eating your own cooking. You're, like, living the principles. Your life is a. Is a reflection of the principles that you teach.

Thank you for giving me that mirror, because I've never had anyone point this out to me before. And you've been doing it since the beginning of this podcast, so thank you. I'm the one benefiting from the show today, so thank you so much for it. I so, so, so appreciate it. But I want to get into Be the One, and I want you to share with us why you wrote this book and who you wrote this book for.

Yeah, so we talked about the concept of be the one, you are the one. Success is an identity process. James Clear wrote the book Atomic Habits. And there was two boys he talks about. One boy stole the candy. And they said, Little boy said, did you steal the candy? Little boy said, I didn't steal the candy. They said to the second child, did you steal the candy? Little boy said, I don't steal. So I didn't steal. That particular candy is a piece of. Is an action. I don't steal as an identity. And over time, you'll never outperform the way you see yourself. If you see yourself as a loser, you won't show up and play like a winner. If you see yourself as a winner, you won't roll over and quit like a loser. So, my friends, when you realize you're the one, you're the 1. These 4096 people from all over the world came together to create you, and that you've never been this old before, and you'll never be this young again. And you can't always control what happens in your life, but you can always control what happens next, because you can make a new decision to be the one. Be the one that future generations look up and say, it was him. Now, you ask yourself this question. How many people does it take to break a generational curse of abuse or of addiction or even a chain of divorce? My friend, it just takes one. It just takes you. It just takes your decisions. How many people that take to change the economic future for a family where they look at me, say, the economic principles, my great, great grandma, my great, grand, great, great grandpa, he's the one that taught all this stuff to us. So the first thing is the identity, recognizing who you are. And then the second thing is, as I look at my life, you know, billions of dollars in sales and just, you know, multiple companies and holding your family together and trying to keep in good health and just the whole thing you know, having faith and just the whole thing. I look back and I'm like, heather, I know you've asked yourself these questions, like, how the heck did this even happen? You know, like, what just happened? And you almost start deconstructing because some of it's almost instinctual. So you start deconstructing the process. So I didn't write the book just to motivate, inspire. I hope it does. I hope you feel motivated and feel inspired. The word inspiring means to breathe life into. I hope it breathes life into you a little bit. But what I really hope is it teaches, gives you the formulas and the frameworks and the practical, tactical steps that you need to be the one in your life to go live and create and design an unforgettable life. You look up and you say, I'm really proud of what I just did because I. I gave it all I had. And so it's. It's a book that will teach you and train you. So I wanted to put it all onto paper. I wanted to almost write it for myself when I'm 25 years old, you know, kind of mentor myself all of the stuff that I've learned and put it into where that next generation of entrepreneurs, the next generation of leaders can hear it and say, I can instantly apply this stuff. Every single chapter stacks. So each chapter I've had people say to me, they're like, I've never read a book like this. They go, the one chapter I was like, yo. If I all read was just that. And then they go, the next one is stacked on that. And they all had the workshops and then the formula and the frameworks. They all stack with habit, stacking to where the book itself is. Literally, each chapter would change your life, you know, as you apply each chapter. But the book itself is a change your life book.

What feedback do you get from your readers? Because I know you're like me. We read all the reviews and get so excited to hear that we can impact someone. What feedback touches you the most or is having the biggest effect from the book?

I think the biggest one for me is, again, going to that identity. I just spoke at a men's retreat. The videographer, I'm looking up his text to me. He just sent this to me, like, two days ago. The videographer sent me this. We're friends. He actually used to do a bunch of my video work. We haven't worked together now for, you know, seven years or whatever it's been. But I saw him there, gave him a big hug. Oh, My gosh, bro. What's going on? So he said they did. They did basically, in essence, exit interviews because they're creating, like, video and testimonials and stuff for their retreat. He said the amount of people who said in their interview, quote, I want to be the one for their family and future generations, was really special to witness. And then he, you know, kind of continued. I think once you realize that all of these decisions matter, you know, that your life matters. You know, the word decision, it's a Latin word. Decision was to cut, and the D was off. So an incision. When they created the word cut in where a decision cut off. What does that mean? You come up to a moment in your life and you choose to go right. Guess what happened? You cut off all the possibilities going left. You're making new decisions, my friend. I want you to know something. Every decision you've ever made, your whole life, every single one, puts you listening to this discussion right now, at this moment in your life. You made an appointment to be here. And again, you've never been this old before, and you'll never be this young again. And in life, we can't always control what happens, but we can make a new decision to be the one in our lives. And so I love the one. People say, I'm the one. You know, I'm going to go be that one. For me, it's like an awareness. It's like all change starts with heightened awareness that all the decisions matter, and they all stack up and they ultimately create the story of our lives. Because I tell people, you're not what you did, but you are what you repeatedly do. We've all made mistakes. We've all haven't been our best self. We've all had the challenges and the pains, and maybe we're in, you know, in the middle of them right now, but what you did is not who you are, but what you repeatedly do over time will define who you are. And so you start living a better life when you start saying, I'm going to start making new decisions because of what my identity is. And the book is designed to teach you. You know how to do that. So you. You collapse learning curves. This is why I love podcasts like this, why I love books, I love the events, why I love the coaching is you're paying for speed. You're collapsing time, right? So something, you could accomplish it in 10 years. Most people don't have the wherewithal to smash their head against the wall for 10 years. So if you can do it in six months or three months. So in order, you just take away all that time you're paying for speed. The knowledge, that third thing that you teach, that knowledge helps you to collapse time. And that is so valuable because, you know, that's the one resource that's not renewable. It's the ultimate currency is our time.

Oh, it's so good. And thank you so much for being the one for taking the time to write this book. I so could have used this book at 43. And for everyone listening right now, you don't have to be 25 to benefit from having this mentorship and insight. It's never too late to rethink. You are not too old. You are not too late to the game. I completely changed what I did for a living and changed my entire Life at 43. Not because I signed up for it, was excited about it, because I was thrust into it. And I'm so grateful today that it happened. You don't always know in the moment that it's working out for you, but when you have a tool like this, like this book, like this is literally like having Justin coach you along the way. I wish I had had this book. Justin, where were you back seven years ago? What is going on?

Well, first of all, you look 33 now. So this 43, seven years later is whatever you're doing. We all need the nutrition, personal care routines as well.

Well, thank you. How can everybody find you? How can they find the book?

Wherever you get your favorite books, you know, whether it's Amazon or, you know, Audible, just search Be the One. Justin Prince. You know, I'm across all social platforms as well and put out a ton of content as Heather, I know you do as well, to help you to create and to design and to live an unforgettable life. And so, you know, I'd love to get connected with you guys, love to see if I can serve you and add value. But the book itself will change your life. The books are one of those ones that the people on your team need to read the book, that your kids need to read the book. Your partners need to read the book. It's one that it's a shareable story because you realize that you're the one. But they are, too, for their lineage and for their life and for their family. So you help them recognize who they really are as well.

If you have to point to one thing in your life that you think has made you so successful and you could only say one thing, what would it be?

It would be the word. Until we talked about this earlier. It's basically consistency. I just will persist until I succeed. I just, man, I don't know, I was just doggedly determined. I just didn't give up. I just kind of kept moving. And here's what I want to share. People say I'm going to beat my head against the wall, but don't worry, I'll keep going and say, no, no, no, no, no. You can adjust and adapt, too. You can go over the wall, under the wall, around, maybe find, maybe you get a team, maybe get better tools, maybe find the weak spots of the wall. You persist until you succeed. But man, you, you, you know, the strategies and the adjustments and adaption can happen as you go, but the overall identity of, like, I'm not going to fail, you know, I'm going to figure this thing out. I'm a finisher that persisting until I succeed, the word until can guarantee your success. And that's really what I would attribute mine to.

Oh, my gosh, it's so funny how small the world is. I was reading a post that our friend John Gordon wrote about John Maxwell this morning, and he was saying, he was asking, John Maxwell, what is it that. Why have you had this incredible trajectory over the last few years to literally reach icon status? And. And he said, I guess if I had to attribute it to one thing, it would be persistency and consistency. Founding effect. It's exactly what you said. Justin, thank you so much for being the one for creating this book and for being here today.

Love being with you. What a fun conversation.

All right, guys, check out the book. Be the one. Justin Prince, you can thank me later. Until next week. Keep creating your confidence. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're going to hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone.

You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it.

Come on this journey with me.