https://www.listennotes.com/e/22207f2375a9453bb61538c6ca6e9e7f

It's beautiful to share what I've learned with other people so they can shortcut their healing.

This is your Badass Journey podcast. I am Terrienne Walsh, serial entrepreneur, growth strategist, executive leadership coach, and bestselling author. Each week, I will bring you a guest or a thought that will help you align what you love with what you do in order to build that badass life and business you dream of. Welcome, everybody, to another episode of your Badass Journey podcast. Today's guest is Natasha Dewhurst. She is an advanced, rapid transformational therapist, clinical hypnotherapist, and ILM accredited well-being coach. specializing in preventing burnout. She loves to assist women especially in making sure that they are checking in with themselves as they are doing all the things under all the pressure we're under and pretty much avoiding what happened to her, which was due to burnout. She ended up in a wheelchair. for almost three years in order to leave her house, et cetera. It basically disabled her until she started to do the inner work and solve her inner problems and find the methods for her to stand in alignment today. So I wanted to share her with you because I know some of you listening might be sitting in overwhelm, might be questioning how you're going to make it through tomorrow, or even want to make sure you're doing preventative measures as all things are happening in this remote world that we're living in to ensure that you're doing your best to be your best in it all and take care of yourself from the inside out. So let's jump into today's conversation. If you want to connect with Natasha. She's on Instagram at n a t a s h a underscore c underscore d e w h I r s t. All right, let's go and chat with Natasha. I'll see you guys at the end of the episode. Welcome, Natasha.

Thank you, Karine. Thank you for having me.

Oh, it's such a pleasure to be able to connect with you across the pond today. What I love about Natasha, she reached out to me because she wanted to make sure that we're able to support you or my listeners on preventing burnout this year. It's something that has been a constant, I think, in people's lives, but there are certain methods and ways that you can get ahead of it before it happens and creates more trauma or drama in your life trying to crawl back up from it. So before we dive into that discussion, Natasha, would you help our listeners understand a bit about your background and how you became someone who focuses on well-being of others and preventing overwhelm and burnout? to happen.

Absolutely. I'd love to. So I wish I could say it was a nice, kind of easy story to kind of work in burnout and be doing this kind of work. But nothing is that's worth having. Right. It's probably quite similar to a lot of people's stories where, you know, you go through life and you wear this kind of mask. You know, you feel that, you know, I was a working mom. I had to be superwoman for my family. I felt so grateful that I had a that I was running alongside my family and everything had to be perfect, right? And it wasn't just that I wanted things to kind of appear good or look good. I'm not a materialistic person at all. It was actually just like this deep insecurity that I didn't feel that I was good enough. So I over performed to kind of say, look, look, I am good enough. Look at me. And I did that for such a long time. I really just depleted my immunity and and, you know, my coping mechanisms. And it was a lifelong issue, right? This is not something that suddenly appeared when I was an adult. It. It had grown up from my childhood, from beliefs about myself that I had absorbed from those around me and from my experience of events. And so as an adult, burning a candle at both ends, two young children working full-time flipping houses, never giving myself a break, I remember. the weekend before I got ill so clearly on the Friday, I had a massive event for my business. And on the Saturday, I drove halfway across the country to a christening and I had flu. It's just like such a bad idea. But at the time, you're like, I can't let anybody down. I've got to do it. What will they think if I don't go? They'll think I've let them down. So I did it. I got there and I almost didn't get home again because I was just something just snapped inside me. Anyway, long, very long story. Short. I had three years then in a wheelchair. If I left the house, I couldn't even sit up and brush my hair some days. It was. It was full on.

Was it like, immediate? Like, you went home and then you were. Willed. You were like, couldn't stand anymore.

Yeah.

What exactly happened? Your body just shut down?

Yeah, it was so quick. It's. scary how quick it was. It was literally like, I managed to drive home, no idea how I was going to get home, but my kids were at home. I had to get back and I got into bed and then I don't think I got out of bed for about a month after that. Just could not have no energy. I have nothing left in me. The tank was dry. Anyway, three very, very kind of soul-searching painful years. Young children. I'm like, this can't be their life. They can't have a mother that can't leave the house. This is not, I'm not accepting this because, you know, there's always a solution, right? We're like, yeah, we can find a solution. And, you know, after about a year, it's like, no solution. After two years, no solution. And it was only really when I started looking inside. So before then, it was like snatching for a solution. You know, there's a pill where I can take, there's a course I can do, there's a therapist I can see, there's a coach, there's somebody that that would do it for me. But it was only when I started looking inside and I really started digging deep and doing a lot of research about this mind-body connection that I started getting an understanding of what had actually happened to me and why I'd ended up ill. So at the end of three years, I was better and I was back at work. I wish I could say that was the end of the story, but it took me another five years to stop dipping into burnout because those patterns of behavior and our beliefs are so ingrained in us that they don't just suddenly go and we don't just suddenly understand how we feed burnout in our behaviors, you know? So five years of kind of dipping into burnout, I'll be sitting in my car outside my office crying, thinking, I can't get through another day, but I've got to go because I've got to feed my kids.

Yeah. And.

Yeah. And it was a very long lesson, but I learned. so much. And, you know, honestly, Karine, I always say it's the best gift I've ever been given. And that's because I understand myself. I was able to reconnect with myself. I, you know, I now do that for hundreds and hundreds of women all around the world. So it's beautiful to share what I've learned with other people so they can shortcut their healing.

Yeah. Our lessons always become the best gifts. For others to, to learn from and not get as, as deep or as far into the dysfunction that can be creative because they're learning from our experience and the methods. I'm curious though, what, what are some signs of burnout or things for you? I know for each person it's different, but what did you discover that when you say you kept dipping into burnout, give us some examples of what does that mean?

Well, do you know, there's, there's key symptoms that I do think are quite, transferable in every, in everybody's situation. and for me, you know, telltale signs, my sense of humor would disappear. Nothing was funny. Yeah. Nothing was funny. People around me would be laughing and stuff and I'd be thinking, what are they laughing at? I've just got to get on with this thing, you know, it just wasn't in my radar. And then my sleep started to deteriorate. So I'd like find that I'd be just lying awake at night and I'd be so cross with myself because I had young children and I had such a busy day the next day and had this list of things that needed to do. and so that was another thing. So that, you know, the sleep and just that kind of like, you know, the enjoyment and in life started to go. It's almost like life goes from technicolor and bright to kind of really black and white quite quickly.

Yeah.

And it becomes that kind of like, well, you know, why am I doing this again? And, you know, is this ever going to change? And this is always going to be the same. So what's the point? Why am I bothering? And so that just like the, you know, the satisfaction and the joys. starts going. Yeah. For me, they were key, key ones.

Yeah, those are definitely great indicators. I. I think if for me, I definitely have an introverted side to me. So, like, I will Retreat into my cave, and there were definite years managing through more emotional trauma as my story, but then I would manifest in physical ways because the way I treated my body. like, so. And, and I like to say that now my cycle is so much shorter. Like, it's something that, yes, those triggers will show up, but then it's a matter of knowing now a new system on how to work through what's being triggered to then show up in a more aligned, fulfilling way and not ignore the truth that's actually happening in that moment. So for me, in the past, it used to be, like, months of self-sabotage and, you know, ill thinking of myself and self-loathing, you know, energy and staying in bed for longer or just, like, slothing around, as I'd like to call it. Like, that's how it felt. Like, I was just kind of slothing through life before I myself, too, faced that inner work. So I do think it is important to realize. And I also think it's. It's really important in the time we're in right now. being that we've been in so much isolation and some people don't have the tools to actually face where they are because that is all that they potentially know. And they're having to show up in a system, as I call it, we live in all so many integrated systems, right? The system of society today telling us that like we're under lockdown or we have to, you know, work from home or we can't or maybe can't even work from home. So now what, you know, and there's, new trauma showing up, that prevention of burnout and really connecting with self is becoming so much more important. So curious in this like last year and some, it's almost going to be a full year, at least here in the US, where we've been under direct order of quarantine and pandemic measures, et cetera. And I know you're in London or outside of London where it's like, total lockdown. Like they keep locking you guys down.

And then it's like, yeah, yeah.

So how have you been seeing, you know, burnout come up more so in this past, you know, year and some? What are the, what are the, some of the things you've been seeing and how have you been supporting people during this time to make sure that they are coming out of it, you know, feeling a little bit more whole?

Yeah, I mean there's so much in what you just said and you know I'll tell you about how it's kind of coming out here and it's probably quite similar with you but just before I do I just wanted to say that you know I really witnessed what you said about how you would you know get sucked into these periods of that inner critic being really loud and just you know feeling really low for a long period of time and now you these tools and this awareness which means you can move through that really quickly. And I think that point that you made is so important. It's almost like an energetic shift we made. Now what I'm trained in is very scientific so I don't talk a lot about energy but I really feel energy and I think what you explained there is like we're almost like in this victim mentality at first when things are hard and we're just like why me? This is so hard. I don't see anybody else suffering like this. And then it's only when we almost move into that place of self responsibility and self ownership that the energy shifts. And that, I think, is the key to moving through because we're always going to be human and we're always going to get those challenges. But I think that that shift is so key to recovery. So I just wanted to pick up on that.

Yeah, it's so true. And for me, I tell my listeners all the time, like, the, the self-care routine, in my opinion, has to be first thing in your day so that you fill your cup up first and set your intention for the day in order to really go after it, whatever that it is, and a much clearer mindset versus like the resentment, the, the, subpar situation or like the focus on what's not happening, you know, it, it really shifts it. So those are the tools that I've shared, but I'm looking forward to hearing the tools that, that you have.

Beautiful. And there's a beautiful tool you can just slip into that as well, which you might do as part of your self-care. But that practice in the first thing, the start of your day, of being intentional about how you want your day to go, how you want to show up, how you want to feel, is so important because we have this part of our brain at the base of the brainstem called the reticulating activating system. Sometimes it's called the RAS. for sure. But if you do that intentionally, you know, today I'm gonna have energy, today I'm gonna see some great things, I'm gonna meet with some great people today, I'm gonna, you know, really show up for myself and speak how I feel, then what happens is that part of your brain spends the whole day for looking for evidence that that is actually true, and it brings you evidence. So it's like this self-fulfilling cycle, which is beautiful. So I like to insert that in as well. And it really works well.

You know what visualization came to mind as you were talking about the Raz response is that I saw Pac-Man and it's like Pac-Man has the intention of like going through and like eating all the pellets. It's like if you set that intention and you go out through the day, the maze of your day, and they're like, oh, there's a pellet. There's the, there's that positive thing. And you grab it and you stick it in your mind. so that's like, just so funny that that's the visual that came to me as you were talking. Yeah. So that might also help some listeners realize, like, be the Pac-Man go chomp at your intentions for your day. Yeah, yeah.

But yeah, but going back to your question, I'm sorry that we digressed.

Oh, it was perfect.

Yeah. Not that sorry, but a little bit sorry.

Yeah.

You know, the burnout that we're seeing now is across all sectors. And, you know, you've got people that are working, you know, hospitals, medical staff, teaching stuff. everybody who is in work is being really stretched. You know, I've seen in my community, teachers have had to turn around an online school literally overnight, from a Monday announcement to a Tuesday morning opening. We're seeing the medical staff are being really, really stretched in hospitals. And it's not only that they're working harder, but they're actually seeing things that they think that they would see that they're not prepared for, that they haven't been trained in, that they haven't got the skills, they've got the skills to deliver, but not the skills to- It's so new.

Yeah. It's so new for everyone.

Yeah. The drama of seeing younger people dying and different pieces. So that's coming out as well. And then you've got the people that are at home. And like you say, you know, some people have suddenly woken up with no work. And not only have they got no work, but they're stuck indoors. Yeah. 24 hours a day. And that is really hard because then all of a sudden you're in a critic, you know, that's really loud and you're living with that and trying to manage that, especially if, you know, there's some berating about, oh, well, maybe I should have had a different career path and this wouldn't have happened. And all these really unhelpful things that, you know, can be created by our mind. And then you've kind of got, like, you've got, you know, families. So you've maybe got mom at home with children. You've maybe got mom and dad at home with children. They're trying to work from home. They're trying to help their children learn. And they're trying to clean and feed. So you've got every different segment of society being really stretched at the moment. And that is just, you know, really coming out. And, you know, we see those symptoms of burnout. People are really struggling. They've got no holiday book to look forward to. They can't go and see their friends and family. They may really isolated, not have anybody in their community that they can even get out and have a walk. And so, you know, we're noticing that people are particularly this time with a third lockdown in the UK. Yeah. People are really struggling at the moment with trying to stay positive. And of course, I don't know about you guys, but in the summer, in the first lockdown, it was all a little bit novel. We, you know, we didn't really know what to expect. It was unprecedented. But for us in England, the sun was shining. like it's not shined for years. It was beautiful. So people were like, well, this is really annoying and we're really worried and we're worried about people who are catching a virus. But let's get some gardening done and let's do a bit of Sunday eating. Whereas now it's raining every day, it's cold, it's bleak, it's short days. So of course, you know, people are struggling at this time of year anyway. But you put the pandemic in and It's that double whammy. And you put then being stretched in your jobs, being stretched in your families, being isolated. And all of a sudden, you can just see so many people are coming to me and saying, I can't sleep. Yeah, I just can't sleep. I'm dead tired. I can't sleep. This is children. This is children and adults, by the way. And then you're getting people with a lot of unexplained physical conditions because they're anxious. you know, we're reading the news, we're worrying about what's going on, we're worrying about our loved ones in different parts of the world. And so we're almost like red alert. And Karine, you probably know this and your readers might know this, but I'll just mention it in case anybody hasn't heard this. And it gives a bit of explanation as to why it's so damaging for our bodies and why it pushes us into burnout. But what happens is when we've got that level of worry, it's almost like our smoke detector is, like, overactive. It's looking everywhere for the smoke, you know, it must be over here or it must be over there. And it's filtering everything it hears on the news. If you go out, it's looking at everybody. And what happens is it's dumping hormones into our body. So it's dumping cortisol, adrenaline, noradrenaline. And with these kind of ravaging our bodies, we are then, you know, affecting our immunity. It's affecting our sleep. It's affecting our happiness, our well-being, our energy. And, you know, it's just tipping that scale. And we are ending up in burnout so much easier than we would have been without the pandemic going on.

Yeah, it makes, I mean, it makes total sense in that, you know, our flight or flight response is always on unless we choose to control what we're absorbing in and decide how we want to be grounded and who we are right now. That practice, if I think about my own journey of self-discovery and alignment was, thank goodness I had done the work before this time that we're in now, because I feel that if the past version of me had to deal with the pandemic of today, I'd probably be like 400 pounds and super depressed and not really wanting to connect with anyone and like a hermit in my house. Like it would have compounded because my body would have been in light or flight. So my, like you said, my cortisol levels would have been totally off. I would have probably, you know, created more like disease in my body with that former mindset. And, and it took a lot, you know, for me, I find that a key skill in when I've been, lately I've been working on the present past because I know that we're constantly evolving and there are things that even more recent as opposed to, I know you work a lot also with, you know, childhood trauma and finding the root of certain things to make sure that you're not bringing forward stories of yourself that don't serve the version of yourself you want to be today.

Exactly. Yeah.

But I do also believe there has to be a practice for the present past.

Right?

Like if you think about the frequency of this past year worldwide having been affected by something we could not explain.

And.

It has such a high contagion. And then we're fear-mongering through the news and everyone's freaking out. And now you look at everybody with worry, do they have it? Am I gonna get it? How do we connect? So already just talking about it, our energy gets heightened as in our protection mode, it's a fight or flight. Like, I want to be safe. And even in the most safest bubbles of who you think is safe is potentially a source for it. But you just don't know. The only thing you can really control is how you choose to show up in it all. That's what I heard me say that.

But it's not skills that we're taught, right? So, you know, like you say, you've. You've. You've done that deep in a while.

Oh, yeah. The work matters.

Yeah, I've done this deep inner work, but, you know, I'm, I'm nearly 50. And if, if this was me 20 years ago, like you say, I would be in front of the TV, really, you know, really unhappy and really not coping. So it's so good to talk about this because, you know, if you haven't had the opportunity to find the tools, you know, it's not something that just kind of lands on your lap. It is something needs to be in your, your, you know, your radar for you to notice. Yeah.

And you can't. Told it. Yeah. It's something you have to engage with. Like that's something that, you know, if anyone who's listening is feeling some of these, you know, even if you're starting to feel constricted just because of this conversation, like if you're, if you're finding yourself holding your breath, if you're, you know, clenching your fists, if you're shaking your head, like, yes, this is me, but I don't know what to do about it. Just take a deep breath. Like we're here with you right now. We're just, we want to help you identify that there are methods for you to get the support you need. You are not alone in it, you know, because that was the one thing that, that biggest learning after seeking out the help that I needed is that I had to realize, well, I'm not alone. I need the right, I need to learn the tools, but I had to learn how to engage in it and be okay testing out different methods. different ways of learning something new about myself or letting go of something in order to find the communication to release whatever it was that was really holding me back. And it's really critical to know that you're not alone and that there are tools out there for you, but also know that it's going to be a journey. you know, I mean, my show is called your Badass Journey because it's a freaking roller coaster almost every day, you know, like, we are.

We're human. Yeah. Yeah.

That's the life, though.

That's being human. But the thing I. The thing I'd love to just interject.

Yeah.

Okay. Is, you know, if somebody's listening right now and they're like, yeah, I feel that. I feel something racing through my body, and I can feel my heart pounding, and I can feel my palms. I'm sweating and, you know, I watch the news and I feel terrible, or I'm just kind of feeling fed up. The one thing that we all have with us that we can use instantly to kind of, you know, reverse that adrenaline, that cortisol, and actually start bringing some of the happy hormones in is our breath. And so just by taking a deep breath in, and the key here is when you breathe out, it always needs to be longer than the in-breath. So the in-breath, you know, turns on the nervous system. The out-breath is what then turns on, switches into the parasympathetic response. And it's so it's breathing in and then making sure we breathe out for longer. And that one small thing will release those chemicals and bring us back into that place of grounding. So if that's all you take from this, that's a perfect tool.

Great.

For, you know, just bringing yourself back.

I don't wonder why my exhales are so long. I'm someone that just, I mean, they last because it's like, get it all out of me. Because I find that when I'm in cerebral mode, like, if I'm, because I'm very strategic thinking, solution oriented, like, you know, my mind thrives in solving problems, but then I also have to catch myself because I hold my breath. like, you know, as I'm, like, processing sometimes. And breath work has been something I'm diving into more so now, but I do definitely notice when I do my breathing exercises that my exhale, I like, I make sure I am emptying the tank. Like, I am pushing it out as far as I can with an open. I personally like to do exhales through my mouth and inhales through my nose, and it calms me. And then I'd actually almost be, if you do it for a period of time, there's like this awesome euphoric feeling because your, your body is getting the nutrients it needs to calm down. So I love that practice.

Yeah. Breath work is phenomenal. I mean, I've trained in different modalities and I've used different modalities myself. And the thing I really like about breath work is if you get a good practitioner and you, you know, you have like a, a longer session, maybe 50 minutes, maybe an hour, and you are getting into that cycle where you also hold your breath for periods as well. You can actually process trauma without your mind. And I love that you literally don't know what you need to process until it's suddenly released and you feel this huge shift in you and you feel these huge emotions coming up and then they pass and it's absolutely beautiful.

That's so great. Well, I know you have a quiz that people can take, women can take to kind of assess, like, are they on the route to burnout so that you can actually help support them through it? So tell people about that. Like, what, what is it and, and how will it help them? Yeah.

So absolutely. Now, the reason that I did this was because what I notice with women, it's one of our things, is we almost, like, dismiss what we're going through. Yeah, it's hard, but somebody else's life is. harder. Oh, yeah, yeah, I've got a lot on my plate, but somebody else has got more. And we don't stop and go, actually, do you know what? I am managing a lot, and it is hard. And it's almost like that's been, you know, conditioned out of us. You know, don't complain. Don't be that too much woman. Don't be this. Yeah. You know, be good, be quiet. We've got all this conditioning inside us, so even when it comes to needing help, we're very dismissive of our own needs. So I thought, right, let's put something together that's really short. It only takes two minutes and it's easily accessible, but it actually shows you the key areas of burnout and you can very quickly see, you know what? Actually, yeah, you know, I didn't realize that I, you know, I've been skipping meals, I've been saying to the family, yeah, yeah, I'll eat later and then later never comes and actually I barely snack. You know, I've just lost my appetite or, you know, actually, it's been so many nights this week where I haven't connected with anyone. I've not picked up the phone, and I am really withdrawing into myself. So I like to say that I, I help women prevent, overcome and recover from burnout because they're very, three very different Journeys. Yeah. And our end goal is to support women so that we can kind of say, do you know what? I can see all of that stress that you're carrying, all of those moving pieces in your life that every single day you're juggling and showing up and managing. I see that, and I see what impact that can have on you. And I want to give you this knowledge so that you can see that impact, too, because when we can see it, we can do something about it. So even if somebody say, well, you know, I'm not in burnout. I'm not in burnout. Just being aware of what key parts of that are likely to creep in, then if they do, we know and go, ah, I know what's going on here. And I know, I remember that English woman saying she was in bed for three years and then she took another five years to repair herself properly. She said, I don't want that. I'm going to pull back now.

Yeah.

So that, you know, that was the whole kind of thought around the quiz.

It's just great. The identifiers and, and helps you. to assess really where you are today. But then if you are on that route and on the higher scale towards burnout, then you actually now are creating a connection with someone that can help you navigate what to do next, you know, and not feel so alone in it, but also feel supported through it. So I think that's a really great place to start. So anyone listening, we'll put the link in the show notes so that if you want to the burnout quiz and see where you're at. Prevent burnout, it's called, right?

Burnout, reset and recovery. Yeah.

Burnout, reset and recovery, so that you can not only connect with Natasha, but also assess, like assess where you're at. And hopefully that's a tool that will help you during this time realize where you're at and decide what kind of sport you might need. going forward, which is really great. I have a curious question. When you went through the process of this whole journey you've been on, what is one thing that you're most proud of that has come out of this time in your life?

Oh, so many things. I think, honestly, and this sounds really, I don't know, really, I won't, I won't, I won't, no judgment. Just say it. No judgment.

We're letting the judgment go. at the moment.

So in my life, at the moment, I am probably the, the most proudest of myself that I've ever been. So at the moment, I have two children and beautiful children, both with additional needs. I Foster another teenager. So I have three teenagers, right? Which is amazing. I deserve a medal for. Right. Yeah. I do that. I have two dogs. I have a full-time job where I'm in and out of my local school, offering mental health support to the young people there. And alongside that, I run my business. And I do all of that while eating well, exercising every day, walking in the forest every day, reading, you know, journaling. And that I know these sound like simple things, and people might say, oh, you I can do that. You know, I do that. What's big about journaling and fitting in a bit of exercise? But for me, that self-discipline to get to that point, to prioritize myself, my own well-being above everybody else's, because I was growing up in a Catholic family and, you know, there was a lot of guilt and we did everything for everyone else, especially being a woman as well. So to get to this point today where I've got that self-discipline and I put myself at the top of the pile, and I'm a great role model for my girls. You know, that's what I'm most proud of.

Yeah, that's huge. And I think the gifting that forward is even so commendable, you know, because so many people need to feel that every day. It's not saying that the days are not hard or challenging, it's more aligned with who you truly are and how you choose to show up in it. and you are making decisions in the moment of this works for me, this doesn't work for me. And I'm not gonna let the things that don't work for me hold me back from who I choose to be in this world. I love that. I love that. I really appreciate you sharing your story with us and your gifts. How would you like listeners to connect with you if they have questions or you know, want to just learn more and get your support in their life.

Thank you. I have obviously social media, you know, on different platforms, but the platform I like engaging most is Instagram. I just like the freedom and the creativity of that. So people can always kind of DM me on there and, you know, dip in and see there's all kinds of freebies on there, different meditations and bits and pieces that people can, can get. workbooks on there, all sorts that will help. So people are welcome to kind of use that as their way of getting hold of me, if that works for them. But I'm on LinkedIn, Facebook, everything else as well.

But yeah, on Instagram, it's Natasha underscore C underscore Dewhurst.

Yes.

That's D-E-W-H-R. H-I-R.

Yeah.

I'll put it in the notes too, guys, so that you can connect. And as always, just as a thank you for being on the show and sharing your gifts with my listeners, I would love to ask you in order to thank you for being on, if there's anything I can support you on today. So if you have a challenge in your business or a goal you're trying to hit or just any question that I can be of service with, I would love to support you today.

Thank you, Karine. I really appreciate that. That's a beautiful offer. I think, you know, for me, one of the things that I know, and this is a very vulnerable share, to be honest with you. One of the things that I've always fallen into and struggled a little bit with is just wording things to kind of get the right messages out there. And I know that that's something we all struggle with, but I grew up with very formal grandparents. and had elocution lessons when I was a child because, you know, I was, didn't speak well enough for my family. And I notice, you know, when I'm writing and trying to connect and put, put stuff out there, I can be very formal in my Approach. Right. So I'm just, especially, I work globally. I've done a lot of coaching for American coaches and worked a lot with Americans, Canadians, and Yeah, I think language and offering is something. So, you know, we call it burnout and, you know, and I'm looking at using the phrase, you know, overstretched women. And I guess, you know, I'd like your kind of experience and feedback on how these messages translate across the pond, really.

Yeah, so I think overwhelm is a really good word for that everyone can sink their teeth into because it is something that is how they describe how they're feeling. So when you're thinking about words to help people understand what you're assisting them in preventing or have solutions for, it's really thinking about what are the words that they say about it in order to identify that you and your service this is a solution for that. So I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm, I'm feeling disconnected, I think is a good word. I'm feeling depleted, like as opposed to burnout, like because it's an energy thing really that happens when we're, when we're pushing ourselves so hard in directions that don't fuel us, you know, so I think that's a good word. burnout is something that I don't think women will be comfortable saying about themselves. Like, that's just my innate, like, especially American women who are goal getters that they're pushing so hard and they're overachievers, you know, like they, they, they won't admit to burnout until they've actually crossed the line to, like, the health issue you had was, you know, became debilitated.

Right. So.

What I think is for the attractor, because you're trying to do prevention, is to really think about what could they be sitting in that's an identifier that's leading them to burnout, but they don't know that yet. And it's maybe easier for them to face it so that they would say yes to taking the quiz, for example, and saying, you know, I'm, I'm definitely feeling overwhelmed. I feel super depleted. I am frustrated. I have a high level of resentment. I am sitting in anger all the time, but I have no place to express it, you know, and almost story tell the angst that you felt at the beginning because you're on the other side of the healing and use that as like story attraction to really help people understand that you can meet them where they are and help them kind of avoid detour from the route that you ended up in. You're like, I want to help you not go this way. Yeah.

I would give anything for them not to go that way.

That's right. So if you're thinking about what words to use, and I think it's okay that it comes off more casual and connected, like you really want, like when women are sitting and when they're able to have a cup of coffee together or a glass of wine or just a lunch, like the good old days where we could just pick up the phone and be like, hey, you want to meet? And you could just like unravel together. That type of energy and attraction, I think, back into you and your business, because that's how you'll show up for them. Yes, you're a clinical studied person, and yes, you have all the credentials, but truly, you are about connecting with the other person, getting to the root of what's stopping them from feeling amazing in their day every day, and you're showing them solutions how. So think about the storytelling that is raw and real and relatable is how I would do it. And don't worry too much about the wordsmithing of it all. Like, put it out there the way you feel it or felt it or know case studies from your clients that you you know, tell stories about, but showing the emotional connection. So it's easily identified is how I would approach that.

Beautiful.

Yeah.

Thank you, Corine. There's a lot of gold in there. Thank you.

Yeah, of course. We'll go to the podcast so you can listen to it again. Exactly. Exactly.

How convenient. But, yeah, depleted. I love, you know, that's such a good descriptor, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Because. Because, you. what we don't want to sound is gimmicky because there is nothing gimmicky about this deep work. It's a hard journey that women go through. And then, you know, people go through this journey. It's hard. And we want to, you know, use the right language. It doesn't make it sound gimmicky or, you know, just unrelatable. Yeah.

I mean, that's why I called myself, like, I was Slothy. Like, I was. like a sloth through life, like. And as much as no one could. Would know it from the outside in, because I was a total high achiever and everyone else mattered before me. From the inside out, I felt like a sloth. Like, I felt like I was moving through mud, you know? And I was trying to. To really show up for so many other people before I decided to show up for myself, and it was building blocks on broken Foundation. you know, that type of imagery and, like, really connect with the, the true feelings, because that's what's going to create the. Yes, I, I, that is me. And now help me, you know? Yeah.

Those foundational pieces, you know, I think the thing, the other thing that's a bit of my kind of hobby horse that really, you know, I like to speak out on is the amount. of people that have had, like, adverse childhood experiences for whatever reason and in whatever capacity. But what happens is it's a distraction so that that child at that point doesn't get those building blocks, those foundational pieces, and we become adults without those foundational pieces. And, you know, it's not a blame game, it's just how it is. And, you know, for me, that was a big part of my journey. You know, I was missing some of these foundational pieces. I could not say no. You know, I was terrified of rejection. So I would say, yes, yes, yes, yes. And inside, I was screaming, no, I don't want to. But I couldn't. I didn't have that voice. And boundaries is another one. Right. And if we are not brought up in families where we see that modeled and, you know, we just then we become adults that can't model that and the thought of doing fight and flight again gets switched on. It's really challenging and I see the word authenticity banded around a lot. You know, you need to be authentic, you need to be authentic. But again, if you've had that adverse childhood experience, it's not safe to be authentic. You have to hide who you are.

Until you're ready to know emotion. Yeah, yeah, until you're ready to display it. Yeah, there's a lot in there to unravel in that. To me, we all start with a foundation of learning and it's generally a conformed way of thinking and it's based on the skill set of who is around us as we're being raised. And those lessons as we're in our forming stages are the beginning of storytelling, the self-storytelling. because we don't know any different. We are forming during those years. And I do believe that part of our journey is to live with that version of ourselves, but give ourselves permission to say, yes, this still works for me. No, this does not. And in that no, okay, if it doesn't work for me, do I need to replace it with something else? Or do I need to find the tools to truly move forward, let that go, and become that next version of ourselves? And it's that constant evolution A lot of the time as children, especially as women, we were told generally generationally that we had to do it all and that no man should be able to, like the whole feminist movement for our generation was so critical in the do it all, but also suck it up at the same time. Oh yeah, yeah.

And that combination, right?

Yeah, and so it was like, well, how do I belong? What if I don't want to do it all? What if I actually want to receive and be in my feminine energy and have someone else show up for me every now and again? Or what if it, you know, so there's all these dichotomies of society and the cultures we brought up in and the skill set of our parents and how they were raised. And, you know, it's a lot. But what I love about being an adult is that we have a freaking choice. Like children, unfortunately, they don't. And it's so great that you're building a family unit where you can actually show them what boundaries are. They're learning lessons from you, et cetera. Not everybody has that skill even to bring into their household. And there will be their own journey to navigate all of this, right? Themselves. But as soon as you become an adult, you have a choice to decide if you're going to get the help you need, you decide what society you want to be a part of. You could decide which job, career, whatever you want to go after, like that choice is yours. And it's something that the sooner we embody knowing that we don't have all the answers, but we're going to explore to find the answers is the energy of adulthood that I personally appreciate. Because I was like you, very much a people pleaser, had to say yes to everything, was guilted and manipulated into becoming, you know, a version of myself that was effective but highly dysfunctional. And so I kind of like rearrange it all. praise version of myself, and it's still in the process. But I'd like to say that I, I, or I like to think that I'm at a place now of a more solid foundation. It still has some cracks in it, but I can stand on it and now assist others in achieving it as well, just as you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is beautiful. I mean, obviously, we can talk more and more, and I, I have you back, and we'll figure out another topic to talk about, but. Thanks so much for being on the show today. And listeners, as you know, we love hearing your takeaways. There were some good nuggets in today. Make sure you share with us what you took away from listening today. Tag us in your posts, ask us your questions. We're here to support you and love being part of your badass journey. Wasn't that such a great episode? I know you got amazing takeaways from that. What I would love for you to do for me, if you can help me extend my reach, is go ahead and subscribe to the show so you get the latest notification and listen before anyone else. Also, if you could go ahead and post your review, your five star review will help me get other people interested in this conversation and extend my reach of impact. Most of all, I would love for you to share this with your community. It means so much to me to have you as a listener and I would love to connect with you. So if you have any questions you would like me to answer on this show, go ahead and email hello@carinewalsh.com and my team will make sure that I get your questions so we can get them answered on the show for you. Thank you so much for listening today. and I'll see you on the next episode.