Women's Equality Celebration

Hello, hello everyone. This is Liz.

This is Andresa.

Excited to be with all of you on this very, very important and special day, right Andresa? What are we celebrating here as we jump into our Facebook Live to our Facebook community and our InvestHer community?

Today is Equality Day, Women's Equality Day, and needless to say why we are here really celebrating this day. Because we have come a long way. There is a lot of stuff that we still need to work on. But as Liz and I stand for everything else, we got to celebrate all the milestones that we have reached so far and really thankful for all the pioneers and trailblazers who came before us that really— oh, I can't even imagine what they have gone through. And sometimes we, you know, just take for granted the, the rights that we have nowadays, 2021, that not a long time ago they didn't exist, right? We didn't— it was a— on the '70s, we still had a ton of things that we were quote unquote not allowed to be part of. So it hasn't been that long, a long time.

Yeah. And we wanted to— I'm going to share some of those things because I was pretty shocked I thought I knew many of these enough. We were doing a little research and fact-finding, we didn't realize. So we're gonna share some of those things, but we really wanted to connect with all of you. So if you're here and joining us through our Facebook, please say hello. And we wanna also relate this to our mission. So for those who don't know what we're about, obviously our mission is to empower women to live a financially free and balanced life. And there's so many women the last couple of months have joined our community. So welcome to our community. Welcome to our being on this journey with us. We're so appreciative. We see so many new faces and new names in our Facebook community and those who are listening to our podcast and all that good stuff. So thank you. And why we're doing this today, 'cause it's just a momentous day as Andresa just shared so wonderfully. And we also wanted to kind of stop and celebrate and also relate this to our mission because it is connected, you know, and it's very connected. And Andresa Guidelli and I speak personally about that 'cause we had some really good realizations So as you're joining us, please, uh, please say hello. Um, I'm going to just share a couple of things that I saw. So number one, women couldn't receive an equal, um, education, which completely— think about the connection to finances, right? Financial freedom. Um, it's fascinating that they, that, that, that was the case. You couldn't adopt a baby as a single woman. Like, wow. That's like, didn't know that. And it wasn't real. I didn't realize that. Um, She couldn't become the CEO of a Fortune 500 company.

It's just crazy.

Yeah.

Catherine, right?

I mean, Katherine Graham became the first female CEO in American history of a Fortune 500 company when she took over the Washington Post in 1972. While she's— well, you know, this is the key. It wasn't illegal, right? But there was a social acceptance, right, that had to get broken through.

Wasn't that the lady from the Washington Post?

Yes.

So here's the thing, if I'm not mistaken, in her case it was just because somebody died and she had to take it over. It not— she was not like appointed or, you know, it was, you know, not taking— of course what she did, and of course just really, really amazing, but to, to see a woman nowadays You know, the CEO of Bumble, for example, going public and holding her child on her body and doing that. We have seen so many women. Sheryl Sandberg is just leadership from head to toe that is really remarkable. So all those women.

Yeah, it's amazing. And we want to have all those women on our podcast. But here's the thing, or here's the deal, as Andresa famously has coined that phrase. It's interesting, right, Andresa? You think about equality, and we think about it's out there, right? We have the right to vote. There's so many things that we take for granted now that so many women couldn't do, right? Open a bank account. I mean, make the long list.

Mm-hmm.

Um, that wasn't that long ago. So, okay, let's check that off. Let's celebrate. And then we close it out. But that's not what Andresa and I wanted to do today because we're all about creating more financial freedom in our own lives and all the women's lives that we're looking to touch globally. And there's parts of like this topic of equality that are still getting missed, right? In our own lives. And it's very subtle and very. It's not like this, women can't come here type of thing. What is it? But it's very subtle. And I think about that for my own life. And I'm just going to speak personally because that's what we're all about is like, how do we take the content that we're learning, whether it's a how-to from business, real estate investing, or self-care and balance and make it real for ourselves? Because we're all kind of like looking to create our own best life. So for me, I see a lot, what I hear of a lot of women in our community, Andresa, I don't know if you have the same experience, but it's really about almost demanding what you're due, whether that's with a contractor, whether that's with a lender, whether that's negotiating terms of a real estate deal. I mean, you think about how much we just take what we're given. And I think so many women, and I'm part of that, I don't say I'm not part of that, 'cause there's times that I'm like, I could have asked, for what I wanted a little bit better. I didn't because I just kind of took what I got. I took whatever they wanted to give me. You could say, is that a woman thing? Is that a man? I don't— I just know I'm speaking from a personal perspective is that I see a lot of women in particular take from the situation and go, oh, OK, this is the terms I'm being given. Meanwhile, someone else negotiated terms. So I think women are amazing, can be amazing negotiators. And I know for my own life, I just need to— I want to do a better job at that. Really asking for what— and it comes from asking for what we want and knowing what you want, whether it's terms, whether it's that seller financing opportunity, whether it's just, hey, I think, um, I think this is a better opportunity versus, oh, they want to give me this, I'll just take it.

So we have that feeling inside, you kind of like something is kind of a little off, but sometimes we don't know what that—

yeah. And I think it's conditioning. Maybe it's personality, it's conditioning, it's society, it's who Who cares what it is? But it's the reality of keeping the peace, right? Keeping— being grateful for what you get. And all that's really important. I don't mean to not be peaceful or combative in your relationships. But I think it's subtle. And I think equality in today's world comes out in that way, where a lot of women just take what they're given. And we don't demand more. We don't demand— think about pay raises. Statistically, that's shown in corporate America that men ask for pay raises more than women and get them more. And I think that has to stop, right? And I think what we related to investing is we have to ask for what we want and even know that's possible. So I don't know what you think of that, but that's where I think this topic of equality comes up every day in our investing world.

Yeah. And the word equality, right? It's sometimes a subject that you can go different ways. Many people say this is BS because I— do you want to be equal to men and then you're gonna do your own stuff? We're not talking about that. We're talking about basic rights, rights to choose, rights to be able to— I'll give an exac— very clear example, right? And sometimes it's not even like about me or about Liz. When we see conferences where the speakers have the same gender, the same color, the same age range, the same background, is the same perspective, right? And we, 2 years ago, we went to a, to a conference, 2 or 3 years with the pandemic, kind of like Big, um, big. And we're listening to, to this person on stage. Don't take his credit, okay? But it was like nothing new, nothing exciting, not a different perspective that I was like, whoa, wait a minute. And then I looked to my side, this amazing investor, and I was like, you should be there. And sometimes we don't value everything that we have on our bags, and we look and say, do I qualify? Do I qualify to be on a podcast? Do I qualify to be speaking? And I am telling you guys, yes, you do qualify, and I'll be tagging you because we are calling people out now in different conferences in the sense of, listen, Here, here's the deal. We have a ton of competent, experienced women in real estate that can bring a different flavor, a different perspective to your, your conference. And it's impossible for all those conferences to continue being this, like, closed-off way of being. The folks that are organizing those conferences, they are either mindful or they will get an email from us saying, hey, by the way, what's going on over here? Would— do you need support offering other speakers? We have plenty to recommend to you. And we are having those tough conversations behind the scenes with podcasts, with other things. It's not comfortable, and we're not like, yeah, pick me, or pick Liz. We were like, pick her, her, her, her, her. Yeah, we have so many different, different things, but it's just a way of being right now that even though it's not comfortable, we feel that is needed.

Agreed. I love that. And, and, you know, I got a couple of— they preach on that lack of diversity problem. Please, um, I know it's just like Facebook user, um, we're shifting some things up, so we'll see everyone's name. But, um, so true. Got some, some some claps. Um, please say hello too. We always like to see who's, who's joining us. That's why we're doing this live. We didn't pre-record this. This is literally 1 o'clock Eastern time. Um, so, um, you know, when it comes to, when it comes to your, um, you know, your own life or your own, you know, path, right? Journey, if you will, in terms of financial freedom. Where do you see like the need for— not, I don't want to say demanding in a bad way, but it's almost like we do need to be asking for, demanding for these things more, um, because it's on the platter in some ways. And that's what people would say, well, if you want this, go get it. But it's, it's twofold, right? Giving opportunities. It's also— that's why you and I are so committed, and we were 3 years ago, to say we need a podcast where we literally interview just women. We, you know, we have a voice. I get, I get, I get inquiries all the time of like a bunch of guys who want to be on our podcast.

I'm like, it's called the Real Estate The folks who book other podcast folks, they're like, I'm following up, is he a not good fit? I was like, oh my God, listen to our podcast, otherwise you would know why.

I want to put them in a headlock, but that's another story. Um, so for you and your own journey of financial freedom and relating this like big topic of like, you know, equality and just basic rights, to your point, where do you see this kind of playing out, the women you're talking to, your own life? Like, where can we— how can we relate this to our own life and make it real and make it very— and take away something from this momentous day and not just be like, yeah, I can vote still, and that's awesome, and thumbs up to all the women that came before me. No, like, how do we take it to another level? How do we take it to another level for my daughter and all the daughters of the women in our community?

I think it starts with first having awareness that this is happening, that you start seeing it across the board. And the second thing I would say is really standing and speaking up about it, um, you know, of course in a kind way, but it's really like, quote unquote, demanding it. Listen, you, you just can't play this way anymore, not nowadays. And, and it's just I feel that the woman is just like, okay, you're not gonna allow me to play in your stage, I'm gonna create a stage, or I'm gonna go in other stage until you look and you're like, oh, let me invite you. And then they don't have the time to, to deal with you, right? So it's just a way that we can bring awareness. There's no other way that we can have those, those conversations without communicating.

I think what's really powerful with what you're saying, Andresa, and what you did a couple years ago. So a couple years ago, Andresa was speaking in front of a real estate investing— I wasn't there, but I'm just gonna give the highlights of what I do understand. And I think this is really important for the women in our community to hear. And I think it's really important for us to do more of. To your point, and this is where it shows up in our world of investing. Okay. So, she was speaking in front of probably what, about 100 people, men, women?

150, 200 people.

150 people. It's a REIA group, you know? So, it was a host of— you were talking about construction, you were talking about, you know, and you were at the end of the point, end of the presentation, and you asked for questions. And a gentleman got up. And didn't have a question. And I don't know how many times he did this. I think he did it a few times, right?

Yeah, he—

But what happened and what did you do? Because that's important. And I want the women in our community to hear this and to say, where can I be doing this more in my own life? In the PTA meeting or in the XYZ meeting or in my investing business or at that title company. I don't know, but it happens. It happens all the time and we need to speak up more and do what you did.

Absolutely. So a lady stood up and she asked a question, very, very valid question. And then I shared my opinion. And then the gentleman stood up and I was like, do you have a question? And then he's like, no, I just want to address her question. And he started speaking. And then I was like, hold on, sir. And then I took a deep breath and you have those like 30-second moment that you're like, should I just crush him here? Or how can I address the situation in a way that still powerful, and it was being recorded. So like, God, that's going to be for a long period of time here. And I say, sir, with all the respect, okay, you're not going to address her at this moment. First of all, she didn't ask your opinion, and you don't know if she wants your opinion on this. So if you want to approach her and ask her that question, if she wants your suggestions, your recommendations, feel free to do so. After the meeting, but right now I'm speaking. Like, I'm speaking right now. And then I took a deep breath and I was like, should I address the crowd? Because then I, I always try to, uh, manage the energy, right? You want to be dynamic and everything. And I felt this—

you have like a teaching point, you like a teaching moment there.

Yeah, this like cloud coming through, and I didn't want to use it. I say, shall we address the elephant in the room. And we have a ton of investors there, they're like, yes, let's do that. I was like, listen ladies, this situation here would not have happened. I've never seen this happen as often, right, as I see with women, right? When men come after women, it can be on Facebook posts, for example, and compliment the, the answer as if the answer is not full and complete, or add, oh, you are correct, or try to correct you and your experience and make it their, their experience more valid or more valuable. It's— I see it across the board, not just in, in conference, but, you know, social media, coming back and then validating that as if it's not valid. Right, so we, we address it, we address it there. I got into like a little blurb because I don't remember. I, I went for drinks with the ladies, like, what did I say? Was he— was it appropriate? It's like, no, no, it was appropriate. And then the feedback is the most important thing, right? When men come to me after that and say, I appreciate what, what you did, um, it's valuable. I have a wife, I have a daughter, they don't feel comfortable coming here because it's just not— they feel like, I don't belong here. So thanks for everything that you guys been doing, because then it's relatable. Other women can see it. So that's one of the situations that happened.

I think what's really powerful is what you did, Andresa, and you did it, what I understand, is in a kind way. But I think we need to speak up. And not just for all women, but for yourself, literally, in a situation. And I think it's just so subtle, and it's so easy not to say anything.

It is, because it is uncomfortable, right? You don't want to create a drama, but we got to say, listen, this is no longer appropriate, or it's not sounding— I'm getting uncomfortable here, and that is more than enough. To, to say, listen, let's cut it out here. Yeah, it's just, you know, and, uh, in, in the man's defense, right, sometimes they, they're not doing it intentionally. They're not doing it to hurt or, or anything like that. It's just a way of being, and there's no awareness. So I come from that approach when I have conversations with men, and I work with a ton of them. I come from that, that approach that is like, listen, let's have this conversation here So you, you, you see how— and, and the allies, if you, you are in that situation, you want your allies around you, men and women, to back you up. That's the most, I think, validated situation, because then you are not feeling like by yourself. So think about the women that you surround yourself with in those situations, and the men too. Right? When those— when shit hits the fan, are your allies backing you up? Because their behavior, you're gonna be looking like, what the hell is going on here, right? Am I by myself here? So it's, it's also important. And I— at least you and I have been through so many, many things that we, we bounce out of each other with our personality to make the situation You can speak about the same things that I'm speaking now in a completely different way that are also super, super valid. And we are day in and day out looking for more equality in our lives and simple, simple things. So, Liz, now your turn. Yeah, no, I mean, I have a question for you.

Okay.

When you think about equality, right, I am divorced. You, Liz, you have— you're married with Matt. In your— a lot of the ladies that are listening here have work with their spouse, right? And it's a challenge in a nutshell. And we want to put, you know, the marriage on top of anything else. How do you— how do you— is there a secret sauce, or is there a— what has been working for you guys in terms of that piece, or what I just want to get that perspective. I can give that perspective, ladies.

When it comes to even from like a, like a, well, you know, equality. Okay. So taking equality on a micro level of like a marriage, right? That's a big topic. You know, I don't know if I'm the expert necessarily, but I, I'm the expert in what I know and how I've lived life, um, my own life so far. Right. So, you know, I think it. It takes a lot of communication.

Yeah.

And it takes a lot of like knowing where you shine in a relationship. Um, I think it also, you know, whether it's, um, um, a straight couple, gay couple, doesn't matter, but they're typically knowing like where you're coming from, from a femininity and a masculinity perspective. And I'm getting granular, but I think that is important in, in— so like, uh, for example, me working with Matt You know, me being more dominant and saying, hey, where are you at with this? And that, that didn't work for him in our relationship, right? And you can stem it from like femininity, masculinity, not saying— and I think femininity is such power. There's such strength in femininity. And women who are in our world, in our, in our community, are like, I don't want to do that. I want to be this way so I can take control and make it happen. As a balance in all of it, especially in a relationship. Yeah, so, um, I know I'm kind of getting deep, but I, I don't know how else to answer that if I don't. Um, so I think, I think knowing where one another are, what's important to each other, communicating, and then constantly saying like, you know, what, where do I need to adapt? Like, for example, sometimes in the relationship, for me working with my husband, I just say, yes, do this, go for it, go for it, go for it. And I'm like a cheerleader, and he's, he's a cheerleader to me too. Um, but then like once he does all those things, then in my head I'm very resentful, you know, in working together. Or here you're going off and looking at this deal or that deal and it's supporting our greater good, but now in my head I'm like almost like creating a check mark in my, my head, and it's not good either, right? You want to be able to like, you know, not be resentful. So I think that comes up a lot when you're working together. There's a lot of that. Are you communicating openly? Are you Are you not just— are you asking for support? Are you demanding support? And I'm not saying demanding like, give me support. Like, no one's going to even listen to you, right? I don't mean demand in that sense. I mean demand in a philosophical sense of like, here's what's coming up for me. Here's what's working. Here's what's not working. Here's what I need from you. And that's a constant thing that I've needed to learn how to do that, right? Because I had an amazing mom who modeled for me in a relationship to be very service-oriented. And that's who I am. So by default, if I don't watch, I forget what I even need, and then I don't even know what I need. And then I know I'm annoyed, and then I— but that's not helpful, right? If that person doesn't, you know, if you don't express that. So, um, that's just relationship one-on-one, but especially when working together, I think it really has a lot to do with balancing the personal and the professional. And, and where you don't feel like there's equality You know, it may be different for every relationship. Um, I know for me, I take care of a lot of other things around our house, and I have to remind my husband, um, which annoys me sometimes, right? But I need to be— you know, we need to communicate more and say, hey, this is what I need you to do more, this is what I need from you, what do you need from me? Yeah, it's different, you know?

And I think it's funny when people say like this equality as if things are 50/50 across the board. It, it isn't. It isn't, right? I think that in a relationship, both need to be 100%, 100%, 100%. But in certain, certain projects, they go by project, or I don't know the divisions of it. Sometimes it's 80/20, sometimes it's whatever that situation, whatever works for, for, for your relationship and for your partnership, right? Because you extend this to real estate and you're like, yeah, we are partners, we are 50/50. Let me tell you something, describe what that is on your contract because I understand the profit is 50/50, but you know, to get the project from A to Z, that's a good point. You know, you— how you can measure that. So make sure that you really have this like marriage contract that it's laid out. And as Lee is saying, the communication is really, really the key. And sometimes you are going to take more over here or you're going to take less in another project. It really varies. And there's not like this formula that fits all.

No, no, no, absolutely not. I mean, even with children in the mix, right? I think there is a parent that tends to be the, the, the first one in line, if you will. I mean, you're both parents, you know, but there tends to be one person if it's a, if it's a couple that tends to take the lead. And I think that the idea of like ownership and leads in different areas. I know couples that the, the, the husband is the lead with the kids. I see, you know, in our relationship, I'm probably more the lead, you know, and we've said that. It doesn't mean that I'm always with our children, um, but I think it's important to establish different things. Um, uh, if we want to start, you know, lending more money out and being lenders, I've taken the lead on that. That doesn't mean Matt's not involved, right? But he's— but I'm the, the person who's gonna run with that. So I think that's, um, our apartment syndications. I am involved. I'm not leading it though. We're, we're very clear with that. Not because I can't or I don't know enough. That's not why. Same thing with investor. I just professionally and time-wise, I, I'm putting my energy in different things. I've chosen to do that, right? So it's, I think it's the constant, like, what's working, what's not, and not just delineating roles basis of anything more than what people want and what people are good at, and also what the, the family needs, what the business needs, and, and what you need. And all those things are important. Um, so I, you know, I, I think, I think we do serve everyone. A lot of women serve everyone else and put ourselves last, and I think that has to end because we're not serving anyone by doing that, you know.

So it's just creating a I keep thinking, like, what am I modeling to my son? I don't have a daughter as of now, but what am I modeling to my son? Right. If he decides to date a woman in the future, what is the bar? How do I want him to treat his other first grade classmate? What's going on there? I think that that's like a very, very deep mission in terms of like, what can I show him? We are very grateful for all the rights, the equal rights that we have now, and I choose to use them. I choose to execute and to use my vote. I choose to take advantage of all the rights. And really fight for other women that have not had that opportunity right now. Liz and I think are thinking globally, and other women unfortunately around the world don't have the right for same education. So we have a long— we have work to do. We have work to do in our, our investor community. We have a couple of things that we're aiming in the future to really support women worldwide and give them the, the opportunity. We We have the charity event, right, Liz, for the Women International, that it, it's focused on the education on those countries there, the information about finance, because that's where it starts, right?

And it starts that way with our kids. So like, what's the modeling for our children, you know? And there's a guest we had on who does children's books based on like entrepreneurs. I got that. I got her a set of books, Andresa.

You did?

Great. 'Cause one day my daughter said to me, I said, "What do you wanna be when you're older?" She's 4, she's like, "I wanna be a princess." I'm like, she loves princesses. And I, you know, hey, she wants to be a princess, that's awesome. But I'm like, I'm like, I gotta order those books. So I've been reading them to her, like Sierra the Real Estate Investor. And they basically have like basic books about a real estate investor, a woman who like owns a salon, a woman who owns a franchise. And you know, so I've been reading those every night to her. So when I ask her in like 6 months, hopefully she'll be like, I want to own a franchise, you know, like, you know, but, but here's the thing, it's like, it's the subtle things, right? It's a, it's the subtle messaging. And, and, and, um, it's just interesting. And so it's a mindfulness for our children, but it's a mindfulness for ourselves when we're dealing with all these different vendors and these contractors. I mean, ask for what you believe you deserve and then some, because if you don't do it they're not going to give it out. Oh, do you want a lower percentage? It's just not going to happen. So we do have to demand it. And I think that's my big takeaway.

Practice. Practice. That's what it is. You create a muscle. You create a muscle. And that's what it is. And we are here to support all of you. Right. We want to hear about your journey. This is a safe place for you to really share what's going on and get the support you need. Quit this, this mentality that you need to figure out everything on your own. I know you're capable. We all know, right? We're not talking about that. We're talking about how can you really get there by using somebody else's shortcut so you can really live the life, uh, on your own terms.

That is our mission. And all of our content from, from our our free membership to our paid membership to all of our events that we're planning have 3, our podcast interviews, everything we're doing, we have 3 pillars of like investing is obviously the vehicle that many of us have chosen, right? For creating financial freedom, financial security. But then it's like business of like, how do you create something bigger than yourself? So, you're not the one doing it all. You're the one implementing something. And this whole idea of self-care, right? Of how do we do it in a way that we are true to ourselves, we're true to our families, we're not, rugging ourselves ragged, um, which is easy for a lot of ambitious women, quite honestly. Andresa and I know we are, we are the women on our community. We're not saying that because we've never been there. It's just we're, we're looking at always growing and getting better, and we're doing that with all of you. So that's what our community is all about. Um, if you know any women in, in your life that would benefit from what we're doing, tell them to join these, these free things. We'd love to support more women and empower them and, and all that good stuff. So we appreciate you, um, being part of this. I know this was a you know, different, um, theme. But I think this is important, right? Because it's all connected to financial freedom. Uh, so, uh, with that, we'll see you around the community. Um, and anything else, Andresa?

No, that's all. Let's celebrate today and feel free to share where you're aiming for more equality in your life and let us know how can we support you.

Yeah, put that in the comment section even after this video goes live. That'd be great. So thanks for being with us today. Appreciate you.

Bye.