5 things I did to stop wasting my evenings after work

On Purpose podcast is sponsored by NZ Mortgages. Learn more at nzmortgages.co nz. Do you come home from work, crash on the couch and wonder where the time went? Look, let me show you how to break that cycle. I'm James Laughlin. On this channel, we unlock those high performance habits that allow you to keep moving towards personal mastery. I know what it's like. You can get home, you're a bit knackered. You maybe haven't had a chance to chill out during the day, you maybe didn't get to move your body much, maybe you didn't eat optimally. And you get home and you've good intentions of eating well, of maybe going for a run, spending time with your loved ones, reading that book, doing that course, listening to that podcast, executing or implementing on something, doing some stuff around the house, that you've got all these good intentions. But let's face it, if it's anything like my life has been, good intentions do not equal action. Good intentions don't equal good actions all of the time. So it's about going, what do we want to do? How do we want to show up? How many times have you sat in front of Netflix? Just 45 minutes, an hour, two hours pass by? Or the old doom scroll. I don't know about you, but I've done it, I've caught myself doing it, still do from time to time. Don't love it. So for me, I'm like, well, how do I actually counteract this? And so I've taken some notes around what's worked really well for me. And for me, I'm always learning from others. I get some of the most powerful thinkers on the planet to sit down with me and I ask them questions and I get nosy and curious. I want to know what they do that help them to perform at the level that they do. And over the years, I've started slowly implementing those habits. I want to share some of those habits with you now. They're really powerful. They. They do work if you work them. But I would suggest give one of them a go and see how it works for you. We're all different, right? But certainly I'm all about trying to think about how do we optimize, how do we get the most out of our time, how do we be most effective in our careers with our time, with our health, with our families, with our money? And the list goes on. Right? There's a lot to take in. So I've just made some notes and I'm going to share those with you, first things first. What gets scheduled, gets done. That's right. When you schedule something, you are way more likely to actually achieve it. I do something on a Sunday called Sunday Success Steps. Sss. All of my clients do the same thing. What is it? A very simple process. What are the simple steps and the small number of goals that I'm committing to for the week ahead? I take about 15 minutes or on a Sunday to get clear on that. Now, clarity precedes execution. Get clear, then take action. Don't take the action before you get clear. So I really love that on a Sunday for me to get clear. And my clients talk about how much more effective, accomplished and fulfilled they feel throughout the week when they've got a high level plan and when I'm talking About goals, it's 1, 2 or 3 at most. Goals that you're headed towards. Those goals should be part of a bigger picture of what you're trying to get to for the year. The other thing is on a Saturday morning, house cleaning. Doesn't that sound delightful? Well, I was starting to realize that Caroline, my partner, was doing most of the house cleaning. Not all, but vastly most. And I don't think this gender role thing works very well where, you know, females take on cooking, cleaning, the raising of children. I just don't think it needs to be that way. If that's what's wanted and desired and it works for all parties, great. However, how many people are lumped with all this crap and don't want to do it and are resentful? I was starting to realize that this was unfair on Caroline. She's incredible communicator. She made it pretty clear to me too. Hey, I'd love a bit of help with this stuff. My first thing was like, but I've got this on and this and I'm so busy and let's just hire someone to do it. But there's something really special about having a dedicated time where there's a full house clean every single week. I have learned to enjoy it. Yes, I have. You heard me say that. Scrubbing the showers, the toilets, hoovering both floors, you know, wiping down counters, tidying up things. You know, my office can get messy. So can my bedside table with 45 books on it. Like the simple stuff done well cleans things up and allows you to perform. When you've got a cluttered space that reflects a cluttered mind. If you want to take action, get results. Having a clean, tidy space is important. After we've cleaned the house together, Finn included, he's in on it, my son. We all can operate, I feel, with more ease and more conviction. So that's the first thing. Success Sunday success steps and Saturday morning cleaning. That's one thing that has freed up my evening. So I'm not cleaning a little bit every evening. It's like, no, it's like buying big, deep clean on a Saturday. Let's go. Number two. Don't let your feelings dictate your evening. Don't let your emotions drive your decisions. Take charge. Get into that analytical mind and go, I'm going to take charge of where it's going. My conscious mind will say this, we're going here. If you don't, I can definitely share my experience. But if you don't, then you're going to end up operating from a place of feelings and emotions. For me, in the evenings, did you know what that meant? Chocolate. And I mean a whole big badass bar of chocolate. Huge Cadbury, the big version, you know, that's gone like three, four or five minutes at most. Gone. The whole thing, just gorging on it. Why? Because I felt like I needed the sugar, I needed the dopamine. I wasn't taking ownership. And then I'd be binge watching TV because I don't feel like working out after eating a whole bar of chocolate. I don't feel like studying after, like just consuming this stuff and feeling a bit gross, to be fair, after it. So get the feelings out of it and get clarity of where am I headed, what action do I need to take? As I said earlier, what gets scheduled gets done. So for me, just popping something on the calendar, saying I'm going to do it and getting after it, that's so helpful. That helps me to avoid operating from a place of emotions of I'll emotionally eat or escape. Now I've got a plan to do this thing. So coming up with alternatives to just overeating, to binging, to Netflix binging as well. For me, having a course is important. Every year I'll do one or two courses, online courses, maybe from a university, maybe not from, maybe from a thought leader I really am inspired by. But I'll do that throughout the year because in the evenings it gives me something to sit down and enjoy and feel like I'm actually feeding my mind. If you want to kick back your evenings and feel like you're in control, you know, something for me that I always find was, you know, if I'm not exercising or eating healthy throughout the day, my evenings, they suffer. So I made a rule, no Chocolate throughout the week. I can have a little bit on the weekend treat. You know, you do the work, do the mahi, you get the rewards at the end. So for me, just a little simple commitment or a habit of during the week, no chocolate made all the difference. Staying hydrated during the day, you know, not overdoing the coffee. Still enjoy the coffee, but not overdoing it and staying hydrated. These simple activities throughout the day set me up for a way better evening routine. Number four, change your habit, change your life. If your habit is, I get home from work, I get in the door, I pour a glass of wine or crack a beer, I put the feet up and maybe make dinner or I order it in, watch a bit on Netflix. Look, that's the standard that you're setting for yourself. If that's a regular occurrence, 2, 3, 4 times a week, right. You're setting yourself up to be that. That's going to be your personality trait. You're going to get home and be that person. And over 5, 10, 15, 20 years, that compounds. Now, if you're happy with that, that's on you. But if you want to elevate how you show up, your energy, your output, your effectiveness, your fulfillment, I would say getting intentional with what you do when you come in the door. Important. If you're a parent, put the phone away, get in the door and hang out with your family. First five minutes, super important. Those first five minutes are crucial. What you do in those first five minutes sets the tone for how people feel around you. You know, you might want to set up a new habit of, when I get through the door, I will grab my running shoes and go for a run. Or when I go through the door, I will have two glasses of water. Or when I get in the door, I will meditate, but actually decide what your habit's going to be. And that idea of habit stacking after I walk through the door. Walking through the door is a habit. It is. It's what you do every day, Right? Those are habits. Then stacking on top of that, the new habit. After I walk through the door, I will spend five minutes intentionally focused with my loved ones. Right? You decide what it is. But committing to stacking habits on existing habits is the way we can really transform our lives. Is it easy? Hell, no. Is it achievable? Yes. Get clear on what's most important. Wmi, what's most important? Last but not least, number five. And before I do that, can you just please comment below what your evenings look like. Just one, one Little sentence. What does an evening in the life of you look like? I would really love to know. Okay, so number five is three, two, one. Three hours before bed. Endeavor to not do any work, switch off, start to down regulate the system. The nervous system needs to relax. Two hours before bed, no consumption of food or water. Allow that body to rest and digest. And one hour before bed, no screens or digital connection, full connection with nature or people or meditation or reading an old school book, writing on a real piece of paper about your day, you know, doing something around the house with your pets or your loved ones, whatever it might be, going for a cold shower or a warm shower if you prefer it. But that three, two, one evening routine essentially down regulates you one step at a time. Three hours before bed, no work, down the next step, two hours before bed, no food, no drink. Sending your body those signals, right? One hour before bed, all screens go away, including the tv. And then by the time you're ready for bed, like your system is slowly down regulated. And when you look at the neuroscience of brainwaves, they're going to be elevated and higher, much higher tempo when we're stimulating them with thoughts and work and dopamine and cortisol and food and wine and all the things or the thrilling thing you're watching on Netflix. Take charge of your evenings. Are you going to be perfect? Well, I'll tell you what I'm not for sure I don't get it right all the time, but the fact that I know these tools help me and I've studied those and looked at the feedback loops on my energy using Garmin and an Oura ring, I know they help. So I'm just saying to you, if you want to try them, I think you'll see some benefits in them. So please consider doing that. And folks, for those that would like to connect, please just know that throughout the year I do deliver keynotes and high performance training and workshops for leaders for salespeople. If you would like me to come in and work with your company, don't be shy in reaching out to find out about what I do and what I speak about. I travel the world speaking about these things, so even if you're in Timbuktu, we can chat. But anyway, for now, please get out there and lead your life on purpose. The Lead on Purpose podcast is sponsored by NZ Mortgages. Learn more at NZMortgages Co NZ.