Balancing Work and Family - Is It Possible?

Do you ever feel a conflict between work and family? That conflict where you're busy doing things you're passionate about at work and maybe having to go the extra mile, put in extra hours or work away from home for a bit and you're there doing it, but whilst you're there, you're guilty about, oh, my goodness, I could be with my family and I feel the guilt, but I've got to do this to provide. That's a real challenge for a lot of people. And yeah, we might look at that as a first world problem. But I'll tell you what, it is a problem. It's a real challenge that so many high performers face. People who are trying to do their best to provide, to go the extra mile. I get it, it's challenging, but is it a with or without them approach? That's my question to you right now. Look, I believe that there are opportunities for us to incorporate our work with our family. And that could be depending on what industry you're in. It could be shipped in so many different ways. But my challenge to you right now as we step in today's solo cast is to look at where could I bring my family and loved ones and friends along for the journey? You know, whether it's, hey, I work at this company, we get tickets to this sport event. Let's bring you along for that. Hey, once a year we have this amazing conference where we can bring partners or a friend and they get incredible speakers in. Can I bring some people along for that? Hey, I have to go and do some work in another town or fly to a city. Could I tag on an extra day, go and do the work on the Friday and have the weekend with the family in Sydney, Australia, right? Little things like that, that's about the with or without them mentality. Why don't we focus on what more can we do with them? And it might mean that you do three or four weeks of full intensity. That gives you then five days to do something with the family. Something recent for me that was just a really incredible experience for me was my little son Finn is 7, almost turning 8, and he wanted to know more about the podcast, right? He's like, dad, what is it all about? I want a podcast. I want to have a microphone. I was like, okay, well, let me tell you about the podcast. Here's why you don't listen to it. It's probably not for your ears just yet, but here's who I talk to and here's what I learn and here's what my listeners Enjoy. And he was fascinated and he said, dad, any chance I could come to an interview with you? I thought, well, yeah, why not? You're old enough now where, you know, you can be patient and you can sit and listen and you know, if I'm speaking to someone for an hour, you can, you can sit through it. So I thought, let's do it. So yesterday I had a day planned in the capital of New Zealand up in Wellington with the former Prime Minister New Zealand Chris Hipkins and one of our current ministers and future Deputy Prime Minister David Seymour. So I said to Fin, why don't you come along to Wellington, we'll do a lads trip. And of course the videography team comes with. Do a lads trip, we'll get a night in Wellington, we'll go and do some interviews and you can be a part of it. And look, some people would have encouraged me not to and gently did. Go on, James, this is a risk, like you're bringing your son to parliament to sit with these leaders. You've got a small window with them. Their time is precious and you're going to let them be there. I said, yeah, I am. And I'm going to let him ask some questions like James, that's as risky. Why is that risky? Well, you know, it's his first time. I said, great, we've all got a first time at speaking in public, going to school, starting a new job, blah blah, blah, right, we've all got firsts. Why not let this be his first so he can experience what interviewing is all about. So he came up with fins fast five, those quick fire questions that he could ask. And so he was feeling really nervous before we went there on the way in. But as soon as he got in, our former prime minister was incredible with him and very welcoming and very humorous. Fin felt really relaxed and he asked his questions and he enjoyed it and it was awesome. And then he went on to do it again later in the day and to me it was a moment of going, hey, I could have came up here, taken a day and a bit away from him and my family and just done my thing. But actually I was able to bring him with. And yes, he had a day off school, but he got to go to parliament and the beehive and learn what it was about to be a politician and what they're responsible for and how they think and what their fears are and what their advice is to people who are scared of not giving things a try. It was a really valuable educational day for him, but also a really awesome day for him and Ida Bond. You know, at lunchtime we went to this amazing event that was Marvel, you know, the Marvel action. That was a big exhibition of all these originals, original hand drawn cartoons and big life size models that you can interact with. It was awesome. We had a great day and we got to the airport last night and the current Prime Minister, we bumped into him, Christopher Luxon, and we had a great chat and Fin said, I cannot wait to interview you. And Chris says, yep, it's on the calendar. So we do have a plan to interview Chris soon and Finn's going to ask him questions as well. And look, it just meant so much to see little Finn build his confidence, but also heighten his awareness. And the reason I'm sharing these things with you is not to try and impress you in any way, but to impress upon you that we can bring our loved ones in and along with us on the journey. In our work, in our professional lives, there's different events, different experiences, we can actually bring them along for the journey. And there's so much richness and reward for our loved ones when they can get an insight to what we do. Look, with my dad, I got a really good insight to what he did and he's a welder. And when I was 16, he got me a summer job and I was brushing up the floors and I was doing anything around that needed to be done. A very simple job, but it gave me a deep insight to what he did and the skill set that he had and how hard his work was and the risks and the injuries. And of course, course, the banter that needed to be had between all the colleagues to keep everything, you know, balanced and all the pranks that were being pulled. I loved it. It was an insight, it informed me, it shaped me. Now, look, my mum. I still don't know in fine detail exactly what my mum's professional existence looks like, simply because I didn't go along and sit with her for a summer. And I'm sure her work is incredible and fascinating and I would learn a lot from it, but I didn't get a chance to be in amongst it. Slightly different, it's in the government sector and it's probably a bit more difficult for a young child to go along and be a part of that. But there's always a way to try and look at how do we bring our people along with us, how do we tag on things and create moments. Yesterday wasn't all about work. Yesterday was about a little bit of work, a little bit of play. A little bit of fun, a little bit of work. It was grit. And that's really what we're aiming for is this balance, this balance of going, okay, I've done too much here. I got a counterbalance back to here. Cool. The Holiday's been for 10 days now. Okay. It's time to get back to work. To me, that's what it's about. It's about trying to find that counterbalancing act so that we get done what we need to get done. We meet our professional goals and aspirations and dreams whilst still being connected with the people that we love. And look, I know Finn's going to remember that day. I haven't caught up with him yet. School is just about to finish up for the day now, but I can't wait to catch up with him at dinner tonight. Say, how did it go? What did you share with your teachers or your friends? Because there's those little learnings that our family get when they come along and get an insight into our world. So my challenge to you right now is this year or this month, even better. Where could you bring someone in your life along with you to your job or to an event or something to do with the work that you do? How can you give them an insight and say, this is not a without you thing. This is a with you thing? Because when our families get us and they understand what we do and why we're so maybe even obsessed with what we do, they can get it because they can see it and feel it and understand the motivations. You know, I know that you are striving and fighting to be the best that you can be. I know that you've got missions and goals and objectives. That's why you're listening to the podcast. People who listen to podcasts around self development and personal mastery want more. I call them strivers. We are all striving for more, striving for better, striving for a higher understanding. So that sets you in a very small percentage of people. And I really admire you for that. It's not easy. It's often highly uncomfortable because you're constantly seeking and striving and searching for that growth. But that's truly where fulfillment sits. Fulfillment doesn't sit on a couch watching Netflix. Do I watch Netflix? Yes, I do. Do I get massive fulfillment from it? No, not at all. Still do it a little bit. But where do I get it? I get it. Meeting people, being very uncomfortable in situations, asking questions that I don't know where it might. Learning, going back to Studying, that's where we grow. So this year, where can you bring people along with you and what are you doing to constantly grow? The fact that you're tuning in here every single week and listening to some of the most amazing guests that I have speaks volumes. I look forward to connecting in with you soon. And for those that didn't catch up last week, I mentioned we've opened the wait list for the HPL 2024, the High Performance Leadership Program. Once a year I open the doors to the general public. People who want to develop personal mastery, people who want to heighten their personal leadership. It's an event for a day in Christchurch. That's not Christchurch, England. Christchurch, New Zealand. Here, where incredible people come together, I share the High Performance Leadership framework. You got to go away with that full framework and apply it to your life, your business, your work, your sports. And I also bring in amazing guests. We've had in former prime ministers, former head coach of the All Blacks, former captains of the All Blacks, people who are titans of industry and philanthropy. Ton of fun. Incredible event. And I also mentioned last year it was $1,800 a ticket. We've managed to restructure it this year so that lots more people can actually access it. It's early birds. I think we're going to go for about $250 in early bird tickets. So don't miss out. It will sell out. It always does. If you want to go on the wait list, go to jjlochlin.com you'll see in there the HPL event. Just pop yourself on the waitlist. Do not miss out. But for now, please get out there and lead your life on purpose.

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