Five Ways To Navigate Big Decisions

You know that feeling when you've got to make a big decision and it's that pit of the stomach decision. You can feel it. It's like, oh, you want to delay, you want to avoid. And you're like reaching for Netflix, or you're ringing up and trying to make connections and hang out with people, or you're booking that big vacation or you're reading that book or you're drinking that extra glass of wine. You're just avoiding the decision. Do you know that feeling? You get home from work, you've had a big ass day. It's been tough. Maybe your boss has been tough on you. Maybe some clients have dropped the ball and you're struggling and you get home and that big decision is still there at the back of your mind. And then you make dinner and you have another glass of wine and then, oh, the friends reunion is on. I better check that out. You come up with all these little micro things that kind of keep you busy. They numb the pen. They brush the big decision on under the carpet, right? We've all been there. Whether it's a big relationship decision, whether it's a financial decision, whether it might be a career decision, like, do I go this way to go that way. When am I going to quit this job? I don't really like, when am I going to go back and study, right? We all know that feeling. But what I'm going to ask you to do is think about the cost upfront, right? So the great question to ask yourself, and I find that when you are stuck going out and searching for external things doesn't help. It just delays the problem and often lets it fester. So I find that asking myself questions helped me get through it. And guys, I've had my fair share of challenges, right? And I haven't went through life. And it's been smooth sailing. You know, moving from one hemisphere to another hemisphere was a challenge. Transitioning from a job I'd been doing for 15 or so years into a totally new industry was a challenge. You know, going from employment to self employment, parting ways with my former partner, that was challenging, right? Navigating an earthquake and 7,000 aftershocks, that was challenging. So I want to just say that the thing that really has helped me was always asking myself, what's it going to cost me if I don't make this decision? And what will it cost me if I do make the decision and weigh up the costs? Because at the end of the day, it's how we feel after the decision. And those feelings Come from the consequences of the decision. Right? So I want to share five simple steps you can take to get really much more efficient at making good decisions. So first thing is get clear on all of your options. Write all of your options down. Now, if you've only got one option, well, you don't have any options. If you've got two options, you still don't really have many options. You need to have more than two options to actually have choice. Right? So come up with all the options you can think of. A, B, C, D, E, F, G. Write them all down, get them out of your head and get them onto the page. So absolutely get clear on all of your different options. Now, step number two, we've already kind of covered it, but just write them down. Right. There was a saying that really struck me. When you're in your head, you're dead. When I heard that, I was like, wow, that's pretty powerful and pretty blunt. But I needed to hear that. How many times have you been sitting with a decision in your head, oh, what should I do? What should I not do? Oh, I'm not sure. Oh, just give me some food, give me some wine, give me some distraction. And you just temporarily distract yourself from thinking about that decision. Well, look, once you put it on paper, that makes it real, it brings it to life. You can see it and it takes it out of your head. It relieves you of that stress. So I want you to think about actually writing down all of your options. Just get a piece of paper, write them down. How simple is that? Right? Step number three. So the cost of doing versus not doing. So we talked about this earlier, but I want you to actually. Action. Step it now, right? So what's it going to cost me? So here is. Here's an example, a very, very easy example. So rewind to, like 2011 and earthquakes struck Christchurch, where I live. And, well, it was pretty scary, to be very honest with you. There was a lot of anxiety I was experiencing. My former partner Lisa was experiencing the same things. It was. It was crazy. So Lisa's from Canada. So we went back to Canada at that time, and we're thinking, oh, this is pretty cool. There's no earthquakes here. This is brilliant. Should we maybe stay? And so what did we do? Got a piece of paper out and drew up the cost in our lives. The cost financially, spiritually, with career, relationship, everything of staying in Canada versus the cost of leaving Canada and coming back to New Zealand. And it became really quickly apparent that going back to New Zealand for both of Us individually was just the best thing to do. So we would have struggled to come up with that conclusion if it was in our heads, particularly when we were under stress and anxiety. Now, guys, tough decisions, they don't come without stress and anxiety. They're all part and parcel, right? So it's so important to actually get it out of your head and write it down and then write up, what is the cost of doing it? What is the cost of not doing it? That's going to help you hugely. Okay, step four seems totally obvious, but this is one that most of us avoid thinking about in detail. This is the one you got to spend the most time on. What is your desired outcome? Think about that. Well, what is it that I want to do? What does the other side look like? People talk about all, the grass is never greener on the other side. Yeah, but the grass is always greener when you water it. So when you get to the other side and you water it, what's it look like? What is your outcome with this tough decision? If you make the tough decision and it all goes swimmingly, well, beautiful outcome, what does that look like? In the perfect world, what would happen? And don't start challenging yourself with, yeah, but this person will do this and this will be the reaction from them. And that just. I want you to think of your most perfect desired outcome. So if this is a business decision, what's the perfect desired outcome for your capital, for the time spent for the client? Maybe go through that process of going, okay, I need to define with clarity what my end outcome is. Because if we don't know where we're headed, well, making that decision is not actually going to help because we've still no clue where we're going to go on the other side. So before you make the decision, get really clear on what your desired outcome is. Okay? Now step number five. Figure out where the greatest upside and the least downside exists. How do we do that? Well, we look at our list of essentially pros and cons. And those pros and cons should be emotional as well as tactical, logistical, super important. So which decision most likely? It's like an investment or a gamble here. Which decision is most likely going to give me the most upside with the least downside? So the most joy, fulfillment, best outcomes versus the least trouble, challenges, obstacles, pain. And you and I both know, like every decision we make as humans, we are either moving away from pain or moving towards pleasure. Right? That's just how we operate as when we make a decision, say, let's move away from pain or let's move towards pleasure. It's one of the two. So I want you to get to step five and actually take the time to go through those steps when you're making a tough decision. One other great thing I'm going to add in is don't talk to lots of people. It's important to talk to people, but be very careful who you connect with and ask for advice or coaching from. If you go to 20 people, friends, family, mentors and ask them the same question, you possibly might get 20 different perspectives, but it's going to be through their lens. So you want to be very careful. And if we think about constructive feedback then, or constructive criticism, you want to make sure the person you're asking has successfully constructed what they're giving you feedback on. If they've never done it or never walked the walk, then perhaps they're not the right person to be asking. But one or two people that you value and trust are in your inner circle. Ask them. Don't put it out on Facebook. Hey guys, tough decision. I'm wondering what I should do here. You know, I'm having this really tough relationship challenge. What would you do that's going to end pretty poorly for everybody involved, right? Be very selective with the advice that you seek. So guys, get out there and make those decisions. Because when you're sitting in indecision, you're going nowhere. You're building your anxiety and often that's where anxiety will derive from is indecision. What do I do? What should I do? What will happen? Start moving forward. Use that five step process to crush that anxiety and take your indecision and make it decisively move forward with conviction. So guys, get out there and live your life on purpose. I hope you have an amazing week. Looking forward to connecting with some of you guys soon. Hey guys, if you enjoyed the content today, please smash that subscribe button below. And if you want to become part of my community, I've got an amazing free Facebook group. Please come and join us. The link is in the description below. And also if you've got any questions about today's session, I'd love to know. Just comment below and I'll be sure to get back to you guys. Have the most amazing day.