Full Interview with Richard Brindley

Hey, Richard, thank you so much for joining me. And a very happy New Year.

Hello. Happy New Year to you, too.

How's things going across there in the uk?

Yeah, things are good. Obviously, it's difficult at the moment with COVID At the moment, it's a little bit of start and stop.

But nevertheless, you know, we're just trying to stay positive and hopefully this will all be done soon.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, hey, I just want to say it's so exciting to connect with you. You're living the dream that most young boys who think about, you know, when their kids playing soccer and playing football around the world, they want to make it into a professional team. You're living that dream. So where did that passion for football begin?

I'd say it begun at the age of four. For me, it was a bit unusual and perhaps a bit unexpected for my family because I've got three older brothers that my dad wanted them to become a professional footballer. It was his dream, so to speak. So, you know, we'd be at the park, and with my three older brothers, my dad was determined to get them to that level that he wanted to get to. And unfortunately, they didn't make it.

And my dad got to the point where working with myself and, well, you know, bonding with myself at that age, he didn't want to put any pressure on me at all and also didn't expect it would be possible. So I remember my dad, you know, kind of not putting as much pressure on me, you could say. And funnily enough, one football game I watched, I had no interest in football at that time. I even remember just throwing stones in the park. I was four years old, years of age, and I had no interest in sports. And my brothers would ask me to kick the ball and give me the ball, and I'd be just not interested at all. So that weird dynamic for me was the unexpected situation for me was more so watching football. I think we watched the World cup, and we was watching the Brazilian Ronaldo, and I remember he had an unbelievable tournament. And it's just crazy. Like I said, I was four years of age and I can still remember it today. And watching the game, at the end of the game, they obviously were talking about how good he was and unbelievable display that he put on, and it was like a light switch. And I said to my dad, after watching that game, I said.

I want to be like him. I want to become a professional footballer. And he laughed at me, and he's like, okay, well, it's totally up to you. And with no expectations. After trying to push my older brothers and, yeah, from four years on, four years of age, I kind of pushed on from there. And, yeah, at age six, I then joined a football academy and then a professional football club. And I was.

I didn't really have a chance to almost take it all in back then because it happened so quickly from just making a decision to become a footballer at four. At then six, a lot of teams were interested and desperate to sign me, and I went from being just a lad playing in the park to then playing against many big teams in many different countries and tournaments at a very young age.

That's amazing. Is that going back to. Because I remember Ronaldo, it would have been France, like, 98 or something like that.

Yes, it was indeed.

I remember that. He was so inspirational. That's cool that one individual had the power to inspire you. And I hope that one day he finds out and his family finds out that he was your inspiration. That's seriously cool. And your dad, obviously, he's been an integral part of your career. So talk me through the support and the guidance that he has imparted upon you as you've grown into this professional career.

I think the biggest part that my father played was just simply being there and being present in terms of training.

Whether that's training in the park.

Training with the academies, he'd be there, he'd be watching the training. And you get a lot of parents that might go home, you know, because obviously my mum will be at home and got dinner to make and all of this stuff, all these responsibilities. And my dad almost, you know, not getting paid to do it and having other responsibilities as a man and a father would prioritize and sacrifice his time and money to kind of just be there just to watch me and support me.

And that perhaps played a massive part in terms of getting that feedback after training, after games, even just being in the park, you know, just talking about, you know, well done or things you even could improve on and things you. You want to work on. You know, my dad was very strict with me to a certain extent in terms of saying, you need to work on your left foot. My weaker foot. And he said, it needs improving. You can't just rely on one foot and you need to be able to shift it on both sides of your feet. You need to be able to pass. You need to be able to shoot just short, long distance. You need to be able to dribble with both feet and the expectations, you know, at a very young age, because I was enjoying it the pressure wasn't there. So, you know, my dad had a good way of.

Setting these targets without perhaps, you know, pressurizing me in, so to speak. And I think it was the case of, you know, go and express yourself and a bit of guidance and what you can do. And I just simply, simply done that. So, yeah, he played a massive, massive part in terms of the communication and just simply being present.

That's amazing. And, like, I've done quite a bit of research around dads and their involvement, particularly with their kids that are boys, and just the trajectory that young boys can take. And, you know, in teenagehood, I reflect back in my teenager and, boy, oh, boy, I had the opportunity to go in so many directions that were not good, and sometimes I started heading that direction and. And my dad was one of those key people who was able to like, pull my head in and set the boundaries and enforce the disciplines. And it sounds like your dad had a passion for soccer himself, for football. We're in New Zealand, so people call it soccer here, but it's football.

So he had that passion, but he knew that if he was to force it upon you, you might actually push back. So he waited for you to come to the game and set up and say, hey, Ronaldo's my inspiration, dad, I'm ready to do it at four. You knew at four that you wanted to do it.

I mean, it was, like I say, very unexpected for everyone.

And don't get me wrong, I had the natural ability, and obviously, when I made that decision to kind of commit to playing football, everyone could see that from a very, very young age. And, you know, I'd be playing with my friends at school and just finding it so easy to play the game and pick up skills very, very quickly. And, you know, like I say, my dad, if I'd been in the back garden, I'd find ways to test myself and challenge myself and improve myself and improve my left foot. You know, my mum would be very upset. I'd be bouncing things off her fences and whatnot and breaking things. But I was improving and I was finding efficient ways to improve every single day. And I think the most important thing that when I look back at it, you know, little things like being in the back garden, I appreciated having my father there to watch me when he could watch me, because, you know, having him, you know, I think as a boy, you look up to your dad and you want to, you know, you want to do well for your dad and impress them and make them feel proud of you. So watch having him watch me, you know, I think helps, but important thing that I perhaps obtained at a young age was the self motivation and consistency to do it even when no one was watching. Because I knew in the back of my mind I had to do it for myself and I had to take. I had to make extra time to do it. And if I needed, if something wasn't right, then perhaps it just put part of my personality. If something wasn't right and wasn't at the level that I wanted it to be at and I wasn't doing it. You know, when I look back at Ronaldo and the flashbacks and I watch football and I think I'm not doing it as well as him, although that's a very, very high bar. That high bar perhaps pushed me even when I had no one there to push me. Having that psychologically and in the back of my mind massively helped me.

That's huge. I love that. And what I hear there and I've heard I've sat down with some former world leaders and high performers and one thing that you've said that keeps coming up in interviews is that you had this intrinsic drive. It wasn't all external, like I'm doing it for other people, I'm doing it for awards or achievements. It was actually internal, like I'm doing it because I want to do it.

Indeed.

That for me was probably the biggest. Without that, I don't think I would have made it to this stage. So, you know, now I look back at it, I realize how important it is to have that.

It's amazing. I think with anything, whether it's a business goal, a life goal, relationship goal, hobby goal, having that vision, having that passion for it, so important.

I love that. And what about obstacles? So do you look back and be like, I had some major setbacks? What was one of your big challenges or setbacks that you thought this could be the end of where I'm headed and professional sport might not be where I'm headed. Was there any major setbacks and you thought, wow, I got to try and overcome this?

Yes. I think it's really hard to just highlight one. I had so many, you know, I funnily enough, at the age of 16, I wanted to quit football.

I wanted to go into. There was other things that I was good at.

Music was one of them. And I really wanted to really enjoy that and was curious about that.

And I wanted to quit football at the age of 16 because I simply wasn't enjoying it as much as I used to. And. And it became More of a, you know, I was preparing to do a professional job. This is, you know, my job that I'm doing day in, day out.

It's what I rely on to look after myself and my family. So, you know, it well and truly felt more and more like that. With all the strict rules and the demands that were in it, I wasn't necessarily enjoying it as much. And I kind of hit a crossroads. And at that point, I had to make a decision. I had to really think, you know, at 16 years of age, you don't really look at where you will be and think too deeply in terms of your 30s and whatnot. But I had to really figure that out for myself and really understand.

The skill that I have and where it can take me. So that was a major crossroads within myself that I had to decide on.

I'd say that the physical battle that really.

Affected me was.

An injury that I experienced at the age of 18, 19. I was out for about four months, and it was just before I was signing my first professional contract.

And I was playing for Norwich City, who were in the premiership at the time, on the verge of getting promoted to the premiership. So you're looking at the best league in the world, the highest league in the English football game. And I was going to represent a club that was, you know, in that position. So.

Having an injury before your contract is about to end and having a serious injury that people look at and say, okay, well, is he going to be the same player after this? Is he going to be able to recover and push on from here, or is this going to hinder his performances and hinder his career? That was a question mark that was highlighted with the injury that I had.

And like I say, I was out for three to four months. So being out at that time pretty much decided a new path that I was then going to experience. And I went from very nearly being given, well, already, so to speak.

Planning on being offered a professional contract to then the injury, then changing the conditions slightly for the club, just for their own best interest as a business, they made a different decision on that. So that kind of paid me down a completely new path with football, in which I then was. Then when I did get back, fortunately, and I signed a new contract.

A professional contract, unfortunately I wasn't anywhere near playing for the first team.

And a lot of players at my age experience that. And you're waiting for that chance to play on the big stage. And you're there, but you're not quite there.

Which is probably the hardest position to be in. Because the fine lines of that are well and truly what I experienced next, which was not playing at that stage and not playing for the professional first team to then when my contract ran out the following year, I then had no real first team experience coming into 1920, where.

In this sport it's a short career. And at 1920, although you have, you know, 10, 15 years ahead of you in the football career, this age is almost a critical age that lays you on a path of what position and what level you're going to be at in football. And I very much so had to start after that right at the bottom. So I went from being in a premiership club to being in a club that I think was maybe six tiers down.

So yeah, I think it's a sixth tier in football.

So I ended up dropping pretty much to a level that was in part time football, semi professional football. And like I say, the fine lines of being at professional club that's in the premiership and nearly playing for the first team on a regular basis and getting into that, stamping my authority and getting my foot in the door there to then within a space of a couple of months being at the very bottom playing with players that are.

Semi professional and they have two jobs. And that really hit home for me. That was a reality check of how quick things change in football, but also.

How difficult it was going to be to not only get in that position, but also stay in that position.

And from a mindset point of view, that must have been difficult because as a young man you have this idea, you have this pathway and you're working towards, all of a sudden an injury kind of removes that possibility. What was the impact on your mindset?

The impact mentally broke me. It broke me down completely. Where, you know, I come from a background that has very little money.

You know, my parents worked exceptionally hard to.

Keep us healthy and supported as well as they possibly could. But the bottom line is we didn't have a lot of money and we. The struggle was that the reality was that.

Trying to.

Step into adulthood and become a man and also dealing with the responsibilities, you know, I had to look after myself, I had to fund myself and unfortunately my parents were unable to fund me at that point. So not only did I have the uncertainty of my football career, I had to really think about how I was going to get that next paycheck and how was I going to pay for my car.

And pay for food and all of that stuff. And my parents moved away.

When I was actually 16 years of age. So I was fortunate whilst I was playing at that club from 16 to 18, 19, because I was. I was looked after where the club put me in a home to stay at during that period. But once that contract ended, you know, I had no home and I had to find. I had to find a home. I had to find these little things that, you know, you really need. And I massively, massively struggled with that because it was almost as if had been dropped into the deep end, not only with my football career, but with my personal life. So the mental struggle for me was getting through that period. And I think it went on. That period was about six months where I had no paycheck and I had. You know, I remember probably shouldn't be saying this, but I was driving, you know, my car uninsured, and I was taking risks in little areas that knew I shouldn't have done, and I knew I wasn't supposed to be doing, but just to get by and to get places, you know, I had to do it. So I was very, very lucky. I remember staying with.

A very good friend that, you know, I would ask them to provide me petrol just so I could stay with them and travel and be in places and take chances on my football career. And I think that's a part that a lot of people don't know. And they perhaps look at me now and, you know, say I'm very, very lucky. And, you know, because others haven't. So many of us haven't made it. And it's funny, now I understand it more so today when people say overnight success. And I just simply, you know, will say that terminology of, you know, I'm just another overnight success, where they don't see really the struggles mentally that you have to go through, not only physically, but mentally. And I think mentally is the. Perhaps.

The most difficult part of success for me. I think that is possibly the biggest lesson that I've ever learned in that transitional period that I experienced from going and being in a good position to being in a very, very bad, dark place. So, yeah, the mental side of things is critical.

Thank you for sharing that, Richard. That's so vulnerable and so open. And I think that so many people, and I know so many people that watch professional athletes, whether it's football, rugby, cricket, and they look at them, put them on a pedestal and be like, wow, they just became successful and their lives are beautiful. They don't have any adversity. But actually, it's beautiful to hear your struggle as well as your success, because your struggle helps you define Your success, that's just amazing. Well done. And so what did you do mentally to get through that and push through and get to where you are today?

I'd say.

During that time I had to have a lot of faith. I had to have.

My belief system had to be, had to be corrected.

And you know, if I'm being completely honest and I think it's important to help others.

Although, you know, for example, my father was unbelievable in terms of support with a football situation and getting me to the place that I was as a man. And on a personal level I didn't really get much parental guidance and the support there was lacking. And I think a lot of people experience that getting through that. I had to really work out, you know, how am I going, how am I going to help myself because no one else is going to help me.

And I, you know, I was well and truly in a position where I had to, had to find a way by all means necessary. And I remember, you know, my older brothers would get in contact with me, we didn't live together at the time. I was living with my friend.

And you know, my brothers would contact me and say, you know, maybe you should look to get a normal job and maybe work at, you know, we had a local co op which was like a small grocery store, so maybe you should look to get a job there and you know, call it a day because the longer this goes on, you know, you need a job, you've got to accept reality, so to speak.

And you know, I didn't get.

I didn't get the support of, you can do this and you will do this and don't worry, it will happen in time. And you know, that that's nothing against my family dynamic and all of that stuff. That's. That for me perhaps made the difference in terms of where I was going to go for the rest of my life. Because what I had to find was this inner grit that.

I didn't even know I had that I was searching for where I was. You know, be sitting, be up 3am on my own thinking, what am I going to do? And desperate for a phone call of a football club to help me and to give me a chance.

And like I said, eventually the sixth tier, I believe it was, that I eventually got that chance. But even then the sixth tier was, you know, I was taking.

Eventually I started taking a small paycheck which was literally just, just cash in hand and it might have been just 50, 50 pound a week or something like that. And that lasted me maybe 10 days, if I'm lucky and I've got to pay for fuel, this, that and the other.

The hardest part of that was the reality of it. Knowing that no one's going to save me. I'm on my own here. And if I don't find an answer soon, I really, well and truly, I'm going to have to give up. And for me, giving up wasn't an option. And that's what made it even more painful, was perhaps it would have felt easier and I would have felt better about myself if I was able to say I give up and I don't want to, I don't want to push through this anymore because it hurts too much. Whereas I didn't. And going through that barrier, it hurt. It really, really hurt because you were pushing with something that just seemed impossible.

And that's, you know, where I had to really learn about the mental side of things and how important the transition in your mind to work out solutions, your self talk, your belief systems.

You know, at that time, quite naturally being in a dark place, I think you'll find.

You know, your mood, your energy, your fatigue, all of this drops and you feel lethargic and you're not getting up and doing the things you want to be doing and you, you know, not having a job, just little things like that make all the difference. And trying to find a solution, but you don't have any contacts, you're getting told no, they're getting more and more no, you're running out of options.

You.

Know, you're going to have to take even if you get a chance. It could be the worst case scenario of being million miles away from your family, your friends or whatever it may be. And then you've got to try and find, you know, being able to support yourself within this job. How am I even going to support myself? Never mind get my foot in the door of being somewhere, how am I going to be happy doing this and actually be able to maintain a living? So it was so, so difficult. But like I say, the most important thing for me was.

Being able to find that inner grit, being able to find that positive headspace. Although it wasn't positive at the time, it couldn't have been further from it. You had to, you had to see that, you had to envision it. I felt silly. I felt like, why am I picturing things? You know, I desperately need these things. I'm picturing these things and these things are not happening. And that's when I then really understood.

How important it is to picture these things. To vision these things, to.

Not listen to what your brain might be telling you on a mental side of things that give up. And this is too difficult, too painful. You're not winning, you're losing, you keep losing, you lose confidence, your morale drops. All of these things goes completely other way and you have to work against that. So I'd say, you know, within that whole dynamic, it set me up in a point now where I mentally so aware of.

My self talk, my belief systems, my decision making and how to achieve things, how to turn things around. Because life is full of ups and downs 100%.

That was amazing. Like I can't wait to rewind that myself and just take notes on what you said. Like the power of visualizing your desired outcome, not focusing on what your brain, the limited beliefs that your brain, your mind are telling so cool.

Is amazing. Honestly, it's, it might sound crazy to some people when we talk about, you know, the law of attraction and you know, your, how your brain thinks and deals with, deals with problems.

I, you know, I'm at a point, at that point I had to work out, I had to get better at solving problems and solving that problem, the biggest problem, that was virtually impossible. I somehow found a way and it was just simply the case of, like I say, that that persistence and that just.

You put yourself in that mental state of well, experiencing that. Now we may talk on this more, but I'm able to now put myself in that headspace where achieving more and more as I've gone along. Put yourself in the headspace of understanding. I know it sounds crazy, but almost a life or death and almost a difference between failure and success and being able to channel that and not feel the resistance and being able to use that to your advantage.

You know, now I've been able to understand on a deeper level and execute and build a habit within that. So it's, yeah, it's, it's really interesting stuff to learn and understand.

I love that like that stuff. It's right up my alley. The whole idea of law of attraction, your reticular activating system, honing in on what you're channeling in there, that's, that's amazing. On the field. Like let's say you're on the field, high pressure situation, it's getting close to full time. You've got an opportunity to do something pretty cool to get the score where it needs to be. You're under a lot of pressure. How do you handle that on field pressure?

When I'm in that position and I'm in that situation of dealing with high pressure, football is very much so a results business. And I think as the years have gone by, now it's very much so a business in itself. It's people's jobs. And.

Literally not only for the people, the staff, the players, but also the fans, you know, it's their livelihood that they invest in this. And football changes so quickly in terms of simply having a job to not having a job. In the space of a week, two weeks, a month, you get three bad losses on the trot and the manager can lose his job. And that's how quickly things can change in football. So when you really understand how the dynamic and that sit, obviously being in the industry, you can see what's at stake.

And being able to see that and experience that and feel that in the environment is a heavy demand on your shoulders. But I think for me.

You'Ve got to really have that installed in you somewhere. And a lot of people say you either got it, you haven't. And that may well be true.

But when we go back to talking about your mental side of things and seeing things from the right perspective, you have to be able to channel things in the right area. So when I'm in them, situations of a high pressure position of, you know, winning and losing, I simply think about what I want and what I'm going to create. It's not the case of what if it's not the case of.

Things not going my way and things going bad? Because I understand that doesn't solve anything. And I understand that if it's not, I'm not going to take this opportunity. And if I do lose, if we as a team lose or I fail on the pitch, on this one game, that doesn't define me. But also there's no point me in my mental state not believing and seeing it that is possible. There's no point me feeling that way and then losing anyway. I might as well give myself the best possible chance in my own head. And the way that I do that is just simply seeing that, seeing the positives and being optimistic in every single situation. And if I lose, then you say you've done everything you possibly can, but you know full well that you're going to win again. If you have that headspace, if you and you have that mentality, you'll win the next one. So it's not being hung up too much on those things, because when you look at it in a bigger picture, it's loads of little details and loads of little decisions on the pitch every Single for the whole 90 minutes. You have to make a decision and be aware for that whole game. And you're constantly making the right decision or making the wrong decision. And you're having to be able to build a habit of dealing with that and being able to execute more good decisions than bad. So I think again, all starts in your mentality and how you view things. And for me, I thrive off the pressure when I'm in that headspace, I enjoy it. And I think when you get into that momentum and that habit of feeling good going into it, and also remembering why you're doing it and when you have your whys, I think it changes everything because you. The pressure almost relieves itself because you understand exactly why you're doing it. Not why things might go wrong or why you might fail or what's at stake. It's just simply understanding and reminding yourself, why am I doing this? I'm doing this because I enjoy it. I'm doing this because I want to win. I'm doing this because we want promotion as a team. And when you put yourself in that headspace, your brain all of a sudden takes that signal and understands, okay, well, this is why we're doing it, so let's go and do it. It's almost like it needs. Your brain needs that reassurance that needs that constant self talk. And your body goes and does it. Nine times out of 10, you'll go and execute it. So that's my. In detail, my way of executing and dealing with. Dealing with the pressure on the football pitch.

That's amazing. Thank you so much for sharing that because I think there's so many people listening. Some will be into sports, some will be into business, entrepreneurship, different things that's applicable to everything. Like the way you talked about the micro. Like essentially a micro decision or a micro habit. Each day, each game, each minute, focus on that rather than the what ifs.

Definitely.

It's amazing. Hey, I got a question for you. So what's your definition of living a life of purpose?

My definition of living life on a purpose? I think that having a purpose is everything. And when we talk about having your whys and understanding your whys.

It becomes a lot clearer to you in terms of what your purpose is in life. And I think we all have a purpose.

On this earth. It's just a case of finding what that purpose is. And.

Some people get confused with a purpose meaning that you are making lots of money or having lots of success. Purpose for me is being able to. And again, just to break down the detail when, when you explain to someone that life is about ups and downs. It's not about winning all the time. It's not about making lots of money and being successful and being happy always, because that's not a part of life. And that's not how we as humans work. Not only humans, we look at.

Animals. Whatever the case, we all experience some point in our life, whether it's Monday or, or Tuesday or next week or next month, we will experience a point where things don't go our way.

And the purpose for me is.

How you.

How you approach things. How do you feel towards something? You wake up tomorrow and you are going to your job. Do you want to do that? Are you enjoying it even when it's difficult? Are you still wanting to do it? Are you still happy? Are you still grateful for the position that you're in?

So for me, purpose is about that, but also how you respond to things and your reaction and how you deal with things. I think you can look at the answer and find the answer within that, how you feel and how you react to things. And if you're able to see things in the right aspect and if you're able to, like I say, have the right habits in the mental states of being, being positive and grateful and understanding your whys, you will find your purpose. But a purpose for me is defined not so much by what you have, but what you don't have and whether you're still happy in that place. So, you know, some people might disagree on that, but for me, you know, I'm a bit. I love football, but I'm a bit of an entrepreneur, and I love to create things and curate different things in life and create opportunities and. And try new things. But.

It'S very important that I understand it's not always going to be easy and enjoyable. But as long as I'm.

Doing something that I'm grateful to be doing, and as long as I'm happy that I'm doing it, even when things ain't great, then I know I'm on the correct path. So I think that's a really good way of finding that purpose as a person. And we all have different purposes in life that are for so many different things. And one purpose I really, really enjoy and really appreciate and admire in someone is being able to make someone else better or giving someone else an opportunity or helping someone else grow. That, for me, is priceless, you know, so having a purpose is so, so important in life. And it's most definitely not about.

The materialistic or the.

Success of it all.

That'S not part of life. That doesn't make life enjoyable for me.

That's incredible. Like, what an amazing perspective on purpose. And, you know, you talked about inspiring others and helping others as part of your purpose. So Ronaldo did that for you as a young boy. And now, unbeknownst to you, you're probably doing that for many of your fans that are coming along week after week to see you. And now you're living your purpose. You're living your dharma, and I think that's incredibly beautiful. So for people that are listening, that want to follow your journey as you continue forward as a football player, as an entrepreneur, as a human, where can they connect with you? What's the best place?

I'd say the best place to connect with me is on Instagram. They can contact me via that. And, you know, I get messages all the time, and my direct messages of people asking me.

You know, how. How do you become a footballer? What does it take and what do you have to do? And I don't always respond to them all because you get a lot of the same questions and. And it's difficult to keep up with it all. But, you know, if I have time, I do try and help people there. And I think social media today is.

You know, it's spoken about its negatives a lot, and I understand. I can see the negatives in terms of the mental health and whatnot and all of that stuff, but there are. There are a lot of positives, and if we're able to use it for the right things, it can really help people. So, you know, Instagram, I try and use, and I will perhaps be a little bit more active on Instagram now and build.

Build my following so that I can help people as much as I possibly can. And, you know, that that will probably be the best place to catch me up.

I love it. Well, for folks who are watching or listening, please do go and follow Richard and I'll put your details in under the podcast and in under the YouTube description as well, so people can go and follow you directly. But I want to thank you so much for taking the time to share your story and your insights. You're an incredible human. You're an amazing athlete. So please continue on with your amazing journey.

I will, and I appreciate your time. It's been an enjoyable chat.

Hey, guys, if you enjoyed the content today, please smash that subscribe button below. And if you want to become part of my community, I've got an amazing free Facebook group. Please come and join us. The link is in the description below. And also, if you've got any questions about today's session, I'd love to know. Just comment below and I'll be sure to get back to you guys. Have the most amazing day.