Transcript excerpt of a speaker (Speaker A) arguing that withholding information feels dishonest because it undermines trust, even if not strictly 'lying.' The speaker gives examples (people who say they're open to feedback but react poorly) and notes that withholding often arises from worry about how information will be received and from conditioning by others.
Sometimes people say lies are withholding. Well, that's not lying. And I just didn't say anything like, come on. Have you ever experienced somebody who didn't say something that you later on wish they had said? You probably don't feel kindly towards them. You feel like, well, wait a minute, I can't trust them. So it is about building trust and it is dishonesty, but not an ethics point of view. And incidentally, we all withhold because we get worried, right? How something might come across. A good example of that is, have you ever had somebody say to you, listen, you can tell me anything. I'm really open to it. I love hearing feedback. And then say you give them some constructive criticism and then they flip out and you're like, oh, I'm not going there. I always tell people, we can all think of people where you're like, oh, I don't really go there. But it's because they trained and conditioned us to really not tell the truth.
