Excerpt from a Brené Brown YouTube talk about handling difficult or “sweaty-palm” conversations in teams. Brown emphasizes that feedback and conflict are inherently vulnerable for both giver and receiver, that people often avoid these conversations, and that vulnerability tends to elicit empathy.
Sweaty palm conversations, talking about hard things, conflict, feedback, sensitive topics. Even in the healthiest teams, even with the best relationships and the best of intentions, we're going to get pissed at each other, we're going to get frustrated, we're moving fast, and especially the bigger the team, the more that's going on, things are going to happen. The thing about giving feedback and receiving feedback, it's vulnerable on both sides of the equation. And mostly how I start every sweaty palm conversation I have, James I have to give someone some feedback, or I have to talk about something that's hard or there's some conflict, I will usually start some version of saying, I don't really want to have this conversation, or I been avoiding this conversation. Because what we know from the research on vulnerability is that the natural human response to vulnerability is empathy.
