How to Influence Others Authentically Through Storytelling

NZ Mortgages Powering the Lead on Purpose podcast. You can check them out at nzmortgages Co nz. Would you like to have more influence over other people? Do you feel in some situations that you don't have as much power as you'd like to have? Or maybe you even feel a little bit helpless in certain situations, at work, in your career, influencing clients? Maybe it's at home, maybe it's with a relationship, maybe it's with your own health. Look, today we're going to talk about how to influence others through story. Because if you're not influencing others, then they're influencing you. And sometimes that's great. But if you don't have some level of influence with others, then you're always going to be a follower. And in business, in sales, in marketing, in life, you don't always want to be a follower. It's important that we know how to. But. But this is the Lead on Purpose podcast and it's about leading and self leadership and we've got to lead self before we lead others. The most powerful way I've found to influence others is not through manipulation, is not through power, but it's through powerful storytelling. And in recent months, for example, up in Auckland, I flew up and There was about 80 business owners and founders that came across from Australia as a group. They were with a group called the YPO Young Presidents Organization and they were there to connect and develop belonging. But they wanted me to come in and share with them how to influence other people. And I've said to them, look, whether it's presidents, prime ministers, Formula One coaches, Fortune 500 CEOs, neuroscientists, if I want to influence those people, I don't do it through mass manipulation, I do it through story. And so I want to share with you exactly the same tool that I shared with these 80 business leaders. I've also recently shared it with a multi billion dollar export company. It was the CEO and about 7 or 8 of the C level leaders in the group. And I shared exactly this same process. This applies if you want to have more influence with people in your family, in your network, clients at work, people who you report to. If you want to have more influence in life, this is a really powerful way to do it. So it's how to influence others through story. And if you're not a good storyteller, please consider working on that skill. To me, it's one of the most important skills. You think about it as a kid, the greatest storyteller in your family was someone you would sit in awe and listen and learn and be inspired. It would trigger your imagination. They had a lot of influence over you, right? It's the same when you look back over millennia and centuries. The great storytellers were the ones who often had great influence. For those people who are religious, perhaps it's the Bible and they look at someone like Jesus and the other storytellers. Those people had a great deal of influence and actually in a lot of cases still do, great authors or even the Stoic philosophers, they had so much influence in their time and still do. So I want you to consider being a storyteller. For me, it's one thing I've always loved doing. I love reading stories, I love listening to stories, and I love telling stories when I'm on stages, whether it's speaking in London, England, whether it's in North America, here in Australia, New Zealand, I'm always telling stories. And yes, often there's facts and there's some figures and some stats and research pieces, but the bulk of what I do is tell stories. Humans want to connect, and the best way to connect is through story. If we want to influence others, we need to get them out of their heads and into their hearts. So I'm about to share with you a bit of a process, exactly the same process that I've shared with others. In terms of writing your own story, creating your own stories, it should be plural. You should have multiple stories that you build on and that you share and start with people that you love. Start with maybe your family, start with friends, maybe a few work colleagues before you jump up on a stage or share it with a large group. So it's all of these. Start with the letter P. And I'm going to urge you, please write these down. Please take the time. If you're driving, obviously you can't do that. Just listen. But go back and I'll actually get the team to put this in the show. Notes what these P's are. So you can just listen and go back. But if you're sitting down, write them down. Reinforce that at a subconscious level. Number one, the first P is provenance. Provenance. What is provenance? That's your origin. Where do you come from? Who influenced you as a kid? What was your upbringing? What did you see and experience good, bad and indifferent as a child? Your origin story. Where geographically did you grow up? What did that mean to you? What were some of the cultural things that impacted your thinking? What were some of those moments in life? Maybe your parents got divorced like mine did, and for me, as a kid, that was somewhat traumatic. In fact, very traumatic. What were some of the things that impacted you? I grew up in Northern Ireland and witnessed different things of unrest and violence and bombings. That was kind of the cultural norm for me as a kid. Just knowing that that's what would be happening around me. So what were the things that shaped your origin story? That's your provenance. It's the beginning. The next P is pain. What are some of the things in your story that were painful? Now if you have no pain and you think back and you can't think of anything painful, well done. You've navigated this thing in a way that most of us can't. But most humans experience pain. Where there's love, there's pain. So for me, pain has came in different forms. Saying goodbye to people, having my grandfather pass away, traversing miscarriage, going through earthquakes. Now, those are not things that I just went through. Millions of people have traversed those same things. But my experiences going through them and how they've shaped my perspective, that's my story. That's part of what makes me me. Next is pivotal moments. What are some of the pivotal moments that shaped the direction you were maybe at a crossroads in life and going, should I go this way or that way? Maybe it was in your career, maybe it was with a relationship, Maybe it was a financial decision. What are some of the biggest pivotal moments? What did you say no to that meant you said yes to this or that? For me, my headmaster giving me a set of drumsticks instead of detention. He gave me some options. Detention or drumsticks? Detention or drumsticks. The drumsticks sent me in a direction that has transformed my life, has transformed how I see the world, transformed my ability to work with others and share my story. I was very fortunate to win seven world championship titles between the ages of, like, 13 and 23, 22. That shaped everything. That was a pivotal moment. The earthquakes. I was deciding, should we go back and live in Canada or stay here in New Zealand? And that was a pivotal moment to say, we'll stay in New Zealand. And I'm really glad it did so. Provenance, pain, pivotal moments. I want you to think about this and don't overthink it. Just a couple of little bullet points would be enough. What are some of my pivotal moments? What are some of my pains? What are some of my ideas around provenance? Don't get stuck in the weeds here. And if you're thinking about this from a company standpoint, if you're selling you need to know the company's provenance, the company's journey around pain, the company's journey around pivotal moments. We did this instead of did that. We doubled down on this instead of that. It's so important to know that stuff. If you want to build great culture and belonging in your organization or within your small team, you need to encourage people to know their story and share their story. Shared stories, shared strength. I was on stage in London very recently, and that was the whole theme was around sharing stories. I want to challenge people to share stories. When I get on to speak as a keynote speaker, I want to inspire and engage, but I also want to challenge. And that was the challenge. Challenged. Share your story. I'm challenging you with that today. The next P is possibilitarians. For many people who've been to some of my keynote speeches around the country, around the world, I often talk about possibilitarians. These are people who look at problems but see possibilities. Now, who was a possibilitarian in your life? For me, Mr. Pollock, my headmaster. He's the first possibilitarian that comes to mind. He was a person that seen something in me that gave me a chance, that opened up all these other possibilities for me. He had a big influence in my life. Who was that for you? Another one for me is our former Prime Minister, John Key. He has been a possibilitarian. He has seen possibilities in me and supported me and inspired me and connected me with so many people. These are influential people that have inspired you, and they're truly possibilitarians. Who are they? A couple for you? Next P is passions. What are your passions in life? When you share your passions, you're often passionate. What are those things? Is it hiking? Is it a hobby? Is it a sport? Is it helping others? Is it philanthropy? Is it tiddlywinks? Is it chess? Is it cycling? Is it exploring the world? What are you passionate about? A couple of bullet points there. Next, P is purpose. What do you do that brings meaning to your life? I recently was sharing a keynote around happiness. And happiness often comes about when we are in the pursuit of meaning. When we're in the pursuit of purpose. What are the things you do that bring you purpose? Passion is for you. Purpose is for others. What do you do to give back, to help others? It could be family members, friends. It could be a charitable organization. It could be helping a local community event. What is it that you do to make a difference for others? And you don't get paid, you just do it because you love it. A couple of bullet points there. Last but not least, possibilities. Yeah, we already did possibilitarians, but possibilities. What are the possibilities, the infinite possibilities that you're focused on? We can focus on the memories of our past or we can create our future, a vision of our future. So I want you to think about what you're focused on. Be a possibilitarian by looking at your possibilities. So write down there a couple of bullet points of what you're excited for in the future. For example, for me, I'm very excited to publish a book next year with HarperCollins. Very excited about that. Because the possibilities are endless around connecting with more people, helping more people, getting the message out there. I'm very passionate about that. It's purposeful for me, it brings a great deal of meaning. There's a little bit of pain in there too, because writing the book takes a lot of time and effort and cognitive thought. So there's a story in that. For me, it's just about writing the book. So what I've done is I've given you the P's required to create your story. Now you've got the foundation of being able to share your story. Now you can share that in chronological order. You could go through those P's in order. You could mix them up. You could use three of them instead of all of them. What this is is a foundation to give you reference points around telling your story. People love getting out of their heads and into their hearts. If you can master telling stories, you will have so much more influence over others. Whether that's trying to help guide people in a positive direction, whether that's trying to sell something, trying to help someone solve a major problem and you know you've got solution for it, you need to influence them enough so that they can trust you, they can engage and be curious about your product or service or your ability to serve them. Storytelling is the difference that makes the difference when it comes to influence. So if you want to influence, please tell stories. Look, as many of you will know later in the year, we've got hpl, our annual high performance leadership event. Over the years, we've had people come to the event from all backgrounds, people who've started companies, people who are athletes, educators, CEOs, people who are aspiring leaders. And they've came with this desire to learn, to grow, to be better. And high performance is about exceeding norms consistently whilst maintaining healthy relationships and wellbeing. We've had people at the event in tears, tears of joy, tears of Hope. We've had people at the event in belly laugh, in stitches, just having the greatest time, because the other people at the event are all there for the same reason. People are open and vulnerable. We have the greatest speakers in this country, if not the world, come along and speak. We've had former All Blacks, Captain Kieran Reid. We've had Sir John Key, our former Prime Minister. We've got this year, actually coming up, Sir Wayne Smith, phenomenal leader, phenomenal in so many ways. We've got Zeon Armstrong, who's the former president of Adidas North America. He's going to be there speaking. We've got a few other surprises as well. We've only got a few tickets left. If you're truly serious about leveling up, being in a room of hundreds of people who are so focused on growth and connection and influence, then grab a ticket before they sell out. You can go and check it out@jjlochlund.com.

VIP, VIP and Capitals. They'll put a link in the show notes as well. But if you want to grab one of the last tickets, this event will sell out. It always sells out. But there's just a few tickets left. Then go and grab one. We've had teams like Air New Zealand and ANZ and Fultonhagen grab 10, 15, 20 tickets for their team. So if you've got a team, if you've got some friends, feel free to bring them along. I can guarantee you you're going to have an incredible time. It's going to add a lot of value to your life, both personally and professionally. That's the HPL event in October this year at the Christchurch Town Hall. Look, for now, I want to wish you the best. I want you to consider writing your story, getting clear on it, sharing it, crafting it, and influencing others authentically. This is not manipulation, this is not mass persuasion. This is simply influencing others authentically through story. So please, for now, get out there and lead your life on purpose. NZ Mortgages powering the Lead On Purpose podcast. You can check them out at nzmortgages Co NZ.