“If I just push harder, I’ll be okay.”

I didn't learn how to regulate my own emotions. I didn't learn how to overcome the kind of self loathing that I had really inside me. My main strategy was, well, I'm feeling really uncomfortable. I'm just going to work harder and longer. Being in front of a crowd, or in my case, working on tv, having an audience of half a million people and going home at the end of an adrenaline fueled day where you've created something and you've connected with others and you might have done an amazing interview or been on live TV and feeling hollow inside. My mental health had deteriorated so much that I had close friends being like, you actually need to step away from this. I realized that I needed some way to stop the cycle that I was in.