Learn from Life's Lessons

A massive welcome to the show. I hope you guys are somewhere comfortable. You're out for a lovely stroll, you're driving somewhere, maybe you've got your favorite hot drink in hand. But today's session, I wanted to share something pretty special to my heart. And these are lessons that I've learned over the last 35 years. So a few days ago, I turned 35. Yep, old man. But I still feel like a kid. And just I've taken a moment to really reflect upon what did I learn in the last 35 years and who has helped me to learn those things. And these are, I guess, my insights, my principles, the guiding thoughts that help me to navigate life. And let me tell you, I've had some real awful, crap, shitty times, like all of us do, but for me, it's like, okay, can we turn those losses into lessons? And essentially, that's what I try to do, is go, you know what? Yes. I went through a separation with Finn's mother, navigated a miscarriage many years ago that most blokes don't talk about and don't talk about how difficult it is not only for the partner, but also for the other person. Navigate earthquakes and all these crazy things that come with life and loss and death. And then there's the highs, you know, winning world championship victories, of starting new amazing projects, of traveling to the most gorgeous places on earth. And I just wanted to note down 35 lessons. And these are lessons that just help guide me. And I thought, hey, they equally might support you on your journey. So let's get into it. Number one, follow your vision, not the crowd. Now I'll just repeat that. Follow your vision, not the crowd. Too many people are following a path that has been set for them by someone else. How many parents out there live vicariously through their child? They want their child to be the Olympic athlete that they never could be. They want their child to start the billion dollar business that they could never start. They wanted their child to be the virtuoso that they could never be. And that is so unhealthy. So if you're trying to live someone else's dream, that your mom, your dad, your siblings, your partner, your community, your school, your government, if somebody, one of those people wanted you to live a certain life, why live that? Live your own life, walk your own walk, You've got to develop your own vision. That takes time. Sit down and focus on what that vision looks like. And that's a process for me. I have think time. So I sit down with pen and paper Regularly and ask myself some really thought provoking questions, like what's life about? What am I here to do? What must I do? What if I was to be told I've got 12 months to live? What would I do in these next 12 months? Now, the second lesson is always endeavor to be kind. It's a pretty simple one, but man, oh man, how many of us catch ourselves saying things that are unkind or things thinking things, or criticizing or complaining? That's one that I feel that all of us should commit to for life. Endeavor to be kind. The third make your mind your friend. Now listen. Our mind has a little world of its own going on in there. It's important to befriend your mind, to talk to it, to direct it, to inspire it. But all too often we let our mind control us. And it's a muscle. We must build that muscle or it atrophies. So making your mind your friend means that you have to talk to yourself, you have to journal, you have to escape your head and get it onto a page. That's why the process of writing is really important. Or verbalizing, you know, maybe just hitting record on your phone and recording some thoughts. Really good way to make your mind your friend. Number four. Clarity breeds mastery. Now we cannot become masters of anything if we're not clear about what we're trying to become. So take the time to get clear on your career, clear on your relationships, clear on your beliefs, clear on your thoughts. Clarity takes time, but it definitely, most definitely breeds mastery. If you think of people that inspire you, that are doing great things in your community or worldwide, they're very clear about what they do, about who they are, and about where they are headed. Number five, keep good company. This is one that I remember my parents helping me with. Keeping good company is a vital part of living a life of joy, fulfillment and success. If you're hanging out with people who are doing things that you know are not good for you, then of course that's going to impact your trajectory. So if they're drinking or taking drugs or committing crimes, or you know, use language that's maybe not fitting to who you are, then ask yourself, why am I wasting time hanging out with this company? The one thing you get to create is the friend group around you. And proximity is power. So think about who are the top five that you hang out with. It could be your siblings, it could be a spouse, could be your children, could be colleagues, could be somebody that you are into hobbies with. Who are they? Write them down and ask Yourself. Are they great company? Are they lifting me up? Are they inspiring me? And if they're not, rather than ditching them because I'm not a big fan of that, just spend a little bit less time with them and put someone else in there and spend a little more time with them. It'll make such a difference to your life. Number six. Never suffer fools gladly. People with foolish opinions on religion, race, gender, war. Those types of people. Yeah. Now, I don't. I don't give them the time. I just move forward, you know, if they've got strong opinions and they're foolish opinions on gender, religion, war. No, it's not for me. It's not where I want to be at. It's not worth the fight, the struggle. There's too many other great things to be done in the world. We don't need to engage in that. So I'm a big believer. Never suffer fools gladly. 7. This one's really appropriate to me. March to the beat of your own drum. Why is that appropriate? Well, I'm a drummer, right? Been drumming since the age of nine. And it's. It's something I believe. And you got to have your own beat, your own rhythm to life, your own rhythm to your relationships, your own rhythm to your career progression. But march to the beat of your own drum, not someone else's, not some influencer on Instagram who's got all of this and that and drives this car. Who cares? That's their drum. Let them beat that. Beat your drum.

Number eight. How you do anything is how you do everything. And what I mean by that, if you get out of bed in the morning and leave your bed a mess and get on with your day, well, you're going to carry that trait into your paperwork. You're going to carry that trait into how you speak to people. You're going to carry that trait into how you drive your car or cycle your bike. You're going to be a bit messy, you're going to be a little bit haphazard. So I'm a big believer in looking at the simple things and then doing them really well. So make your bed each morning. It's a good start. It tells your mind, hey, we have order in our life. With your teeth. Take your time and brush each tooth really well with, you know, making breakfast. Take your time and prepare it beautifully. Clean your dishes afterwards. But how you do anything is how you do everything. Number nine. Your life is too important to give it to distractions, right? Think of how many minutes or even hours you spend Scrolling social media. Stop it. That's crazy, right? Throw that in the bin and move on to something more enriching. Study a course, read a book, call a dear friend, create something. Stop giving your precious life away to distractions. Really battle that. Number 10. Speaking of battles, fight for what you believe in. Stand up. You know, and if you. If you believe in something, let people know that you believe in it. People challenge it, defend it. But you've got to know what you believe in. So it could start with, hey, what's my belief about people? What's my belief about relationships? What's my belief about money? And answer those questions. Those are your global beliefs, nobody else's. Number 11, stand up and be counted. Because if you don't stand up, if you stand for nothing, you will give in to anything. So figure out what you're going to take a stand for. Whether it's equality. That could be gender equality, racial equality. No matter what it is, know what it is and stand up for it. It could be that you stand up for your loved ones. It could be that you stand up for the work that you do. It could be that you stand up for your neighbors. But stand up, take a stand. Number 12, never outstay your welcome. This is one that I learned from a young age, right? Parents and grandparents told me this one. Never outstay your welcome. If you. If you feel you're no longer welcome, turn on your heel and get out of there. Right? Your gut tells you everything. So big believer in when you think you've overstayed, just move forward. Keep moving forward. Now, number 13. What comes from the heart reaches the heart. And that's just about being authentic. That's about speaking from a place of love. And that often lands with people so much better when you are genuine. People understand that. They hear it, they feel it. So what comes from the heart reaches the heart. I firmly believe that. 14. If you weren't afraid of it, it would be done already. When you come up with excuses, oh, I'm too busy and too tired. I'm too old, I'm too young. You're afraid. You're afraid of failure. You're afraid of embarrassment. You're afraid of it being too small. Get out there and get it done. If it's not done already, it's a sign that you're holding yourself back. There's fear there.

Number 15. Your microhabits create your macro life. So the tiny things you do each day, those things add up to the food that you choose to eat, the liquid you choose to consume, the books you decide to read, the news or media you engage with. Those microhabits dictate your larger macro life. So if you're watching the news, if you're drinking, you know, sugary drinks, if you're eating unhealthy processed foods, if you're not exercising often, those micro decisions will eventually create this macro outcome, which will be ill health, which will be potential anxiety or depression. Your microhabits are so vitally important. Number 16. For some to love you, some must loathe you. Now, all of these things I've learned from people in my life. This one I learned from J.K. rowling. And this is something she said. For some to love you, some must loathe you. And that sounds horrible to feel that you would be loathed. But often when you're out in the world, putting yourself out there, doing the work, having success in any which way, there will be people who don't embrace your success, who don't celebrate you. But that's important for you to know that for people to truly love you. And there's lots of people that love you, some must loathe you. And you just have to deal with that. For me, that was a struggle. I can remember when, you know, I knew that there was people that were maybe bad mouthing me or talking poorly or wishing me ill, you know, success, you know, wishing that I would lose rather than win. And I find that really difficult. But when I read that and embraced that, I thought, wow, that makes total sense. Number 17. The opposite of negativity isn't positivity, it's action. Moving forward is the key, right? Being positive all the time. I'm going to be happy, I'm going to be rich, I'm going to be in love. That doesn't get you anywhere. It sets an intention, but you've got to take steps towards those things. So don't just think. You know, a negative mindset can be cured by just turning it into a positive mindset. It takes action. Number 18. Beneath every excuse lays a fear, right? So anytime you come up with excuse, there is a fear there and you've got to dive into that fear. What does fear stand for? False evidence that appears to be real. It's false evidence. It's created in your subconscious. You want to push through that and you want to dance with it and figure out what's going on and why you're thinking that way and how you can move forward because you can. It's all a decision. Number 19, if you don't make time for health. You'll need to make time for illness, truth, facts. That's it right there. If you don't make time to look after yourself, you better make time to be in hospital, to be on medication, to be immobile. That's it, guys. That's a simple one, but it's one of the most important ones. You need to make time for good food, good nutrition, good meditation, good exercise, good stretching, good intimacy. All those things connect together to help you with your long term health, your longevity. Right? Number 20, be the joy you be the joy you create, the joy you bring, the joy you are the damn joy, right? You have to be the joy because your community relies on you, your family relies on you, the world relies on you. We need more joy, so be it. Be the joy. Number 21, be relentless in the pursuit of excellence. Don't try and be a perfectionist. Perfect is not achievable, but excellence is a great milestone and goalpost to head towards. So be relentless. Get up every day with fire in your belly. And to have fire in your belly, you've got to know where you're headed. You've got to have something to get up for. And that's why having a vision, which was the very first lesson I shared, having a vision is so, so important.

Right? Let's take a look at number 22. Growth is uncomfortable, but inaction is painful. So when you're trying new things, often that can be a challenge and it can be scary as hell. But when you sit in, oh, I don't want to do that. What if this happens? If you sit in that muddy water of despair and confusion, well, you don't move forward and in the end, what, what happens? You end up regretting things. You regret things you didn't do. Often we don't regret things we do. We regret the things we didn't do or didn't try. So just know that growth is uncomfortable, but inaction is painful. Number 23. Small, consistent steps will result in magnificent outcomes. Take one step to the today, take one more the next day. Don't try and run the marathon in an hour. Run it in five years. One step at a time. But small, consistent action is the key. I've been writing a book for a long time now, but I'm Small consistent steps each week I put a little bit of time aside and I focus on it. A little bit of time, I focus on it. Could I have just taken two months off and done it? Yes. Did I want to do that? No. But did I want to Complete the book. Yes. So I've been working with former world leaders, politicians, athletes, world champions, billionaires, and talking to them about fatherhood and leadership. I'm doing this really amazing book around fatherhood and how fathers need to step up, including myself, to help the next generation, to help reduce the mental health crisis, to help reduce the over a million people a year who take their life. So this book is a real passion project. But I knew that taking those small, consistent steps would result in a great outcome. So important. Number 24, lead with love. Always lead with love. Super simple, doesn't matter whether you're leading a multi billion dollar corporation or you're leading your family, or you're leading your workplace, your community. Lead with love. So much more fun, so much more beautiful. Number 25, adversity is life's greatest teacher. Accept it, embrace it and keep moving, right? We've all had shitty moments, we've all had awful tragedies. That's the human condition. But it's about accepting it, embracing it, moving forward. You know, I think back to some of mine. One of the toughest ones was having a miscarriage and the devastation that brought and the grief that that brought, that was horrific. And I sat with that for a few weeks, maybe longer, and then started to understand and accept and move forward towards hope again, hoping that something better will come. And it did. I've got Finn. Hi. Damn lucky, am I, and I know it. I cherish being a father. I cherish being in Finn's life. I owe everything to that little rascal. So it's about embracing things, moving forward. Adversity will teach you so much more than university will teach you, I promise you that. Number 26, be there for your family when they most need you. But don't be overbearing. Sometimes we can really agitate our family members. Sometimes they really agitate us. That's sometimes because we're around them too often and we're too similar. So be there when they really need you, but give them the space to breathe. Number 27, dream big, but ensure that you take action on your ideas. We don't need more dreamers, we need more doers in this world. We need people to be able to dream, but then to take action. So if you've got an idea, a book, a product, a career change, a decision, a relationship, whatever it is that you want to move forward with and transform, make the decision, act on that dream. Take action, move forward. Number 28, lead with kindness and a smile. Always let your heart guide your soul. That one speaks for itself. Number 29. Listen between the lines. When you're with people you love or with people you work with, listen to what they're saying, listen to what they're meaning in between the words, the body language, the intonation, the silence, the energy they give off the emotions. Listen deeper. It'll lead to such a richer experience of life, it really will. But listen with depth, listen with intent. So important. Number 30, the most interested person in the room is the most interesting person in the room. Ask more questions, you know, don't be that person that goes, hey, what's your name? What do you do? Where do you live? How much do you earn? Who cares about all that stuff? Ask questions like, hey, what are you most grateful for in life right now? What a great question to ask at a party. Or hey, what are you most excited for right now that's going to elicit such a better, more meaningful conversation than what do you do for work? Where are you from? What school did you go to? Right? Get to the depth and get there quickly. So important. Be interested in other people and I promise you they will be interested in you. 31. Give, give and then give some more. Covid taught me a lot about business and that was to just give. And so over the last year, I've given away thousands and thousands of dollars worth of product and service and I've loved it. It's been incredible. And yes, it's cost me time, it's cost me money, but it's brought me back so much joy and fulfillment. So keep giving. And if you have the ability to give and you can do it. If you're holding back, ask yourself, why am I holding back? I could help someone here, I could devote some time or I could share a resource. I could give them one of my products, book a service, you know, whatever it is you do, look at where you could give a little more.

Number 32. The Morning Hour presents profound insights and opportunities for creative genius. Personally, I love getting up between 5 and 6am 6am would be a sleep in, but that time in the morning, the brain is in fetus state, it's thinking differently. There's more creativity, there's less distractions, the focus is deeper and more calm. I would urge you get your butts out of bed early or earlier and do some great work, do some deep work. Don't get on your phone, don't read the newspaper, don't put Netflix on. Think about reading a great book, think about journaling, think about developing that idea that you've been talking about. Number 33. Or as my friends in southern Ireland would say, 33.

Wanting happiness for others cannot begin until you find it for yourself. That took me years to, like, contemplate what that meant and how that actually works. But you've got to find happiness in yourself and embrace it. And happiness comes and goes. I'm a big believer that happiness is a state. Sometimes it's here, sometimes it's not, but it's about creating the state. It's about creating the conditions around you and your internal environment to match so that you experience happiness. But all too often, we want our loved ones to be happy. I just want my kids to be happy. How many parents have said that over the years? Put it into the billions. Every parent wants their kid to be happy. Well, they won't be unless you find happiness for yourself and you show them how to create that state. Because happiness is a state. It's not a car, it's not a relationship, it's not a house, it's not a university degree. It's none of those things. Right. Many of us have those, right. Some of us don't. That's okay. None of them equal happiness. It's about the external conditions matching your internal blueprint and being able to show your kids, family and loved ones how to do that. That's powerful. That's huge. Number 34. Greatness is on the other side of pain. So go get it right. Yes. You have to push through pain. Sometimes you have to put in big hours. Here's something funny. You'll think back to when I was a kid. I was maybe 11 or 12 years old, and I was preparing for the World Solo Drumming Championships. And I remember practicing four to six hours during the week each day, and then probably 10 to 16 hours on Saturday and Sunday. And I remember blisters, calluses, bleeding hands, knuckles that swollen up at that tender age, that preteen age. But to me, that was the pain that I had to go through to get to what was on the other side. And what I wanted on the other side was to become a world champion. And when I got there and I achieved that, I look back on the pain and I laughed. I was like, that was totally worth it. That wasn't even pain. That was the process. So just know that greatness is always on the other side of some form of pain. It could be a sacrifice, it could be time, it could be physical, could be emotional pain. But pain is always part of that process. Now, last one, last but not least, and this is one that my mom shared with me, Big shout out to mom. Don't know if you're listening, but if you're listening in, hope you're enjoying it. So this is number 35. And this is 35 lessons in 35 years. And this is the way I, I spent my birthday. I went out and did some fun things, went to my favorite bookstore, spent time with my partner, enjoyed time with my little boy who made me chocolate pancakes. Not healthy, but it's my birthday, right? Everyone deserves a treat. So this lesson is a beautiful lesson and thanks, mom, for this one.

Of all the things any of us have in this life, love is the greatest, truest, and most precious gift we will ever receive. How beautiful is that? I'll just read that again. Of all the things any of us have in this life, love is the greatest, truest, and most precious gift we will ever receive. And I carry that with me into my next year. And I want to carry that with me into my next decade. And if I'm fortunate enough, carry that into my 70s, 80s, 90s, and beyond. Love is the key. And when you can marry up love with purpose, wow, you're onto something special. So I just want to thank you for listening and I want you to maybe share with me and share with others what the one lesson you heard today that you resonated with that really inspires you, helps you, supports you. Share it on my social media, share on yours, tag me, send me a private message, get in touch, and I'd really appreciate if you could do one quick but simple thing. If you're listening on Apple podcasts, please, please, please leave me a rating and a review. It really helps me to grow my impact. I'd really appreciate it. And please head over and subscribe to my YouTube channel. So it's Life on Purpose with James Lachlan. And if you're on Spotify, please subscribe and download on there. I really, really appreciate it. For all of you folks who engage with me daily on Instagram ameslochlanofficial, I love you guys and I appreciate it. And also for all of my Life on Purpose group members over on Facebook, I love you guys. For any of you who want to deepen your purpose, deepen your meaning, level up in your career, your finances, your relationships, come and join us at the Purpose Club. If you want to know about the Purpose Club, send me a DM with purpose and I'm going to tell you more about it. But for now, get out there and live that life on purpose.

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