Learn How To Create Your Feelings

Before we jump into today's episode, I want to tell you about the Purpose Club. I started the Purpose Club quite some time ago so that I could coach people of all backgrounds. Not everybody has access to coaching and certainly it can be out of people's price range. So I wanted to create a community where I coach my members each month and it's incredibly affordable and I do a deep dive monthly live session and deliver my best techniques, strategies and habits. And I impart great lessons on leadership, motivation, mindset, abundance, habit, installation and you're creating a lasting legacy. There's free replays in there from all the previous live casts. There's high impact worksheets for you to take home and and actually work through. Throughout the month you'll receive weekly planning emails with actual planners to fill out your week. You'll get a weekly self evaluation email where you can evaluate yourself on all different levels. Relationship, life, business, wealth, career, everything that you want. You'll get weekly journal prompts to really get your mind tuned into that higher level thinking. And also on a monthly basis you'll get planning worksheets and reflections for your month. So if you would like to learn about it, please get in touch with me or someone in my team. You know, jump onto Instagram. Jameslocklanofficial drop me a DM or you can email me jamesjjlochlan.com or just go to the website jjlochlund.com and check it out. Enjoy the show and I hope to see some of you guys over in the Purpose.

Well folks, today I want to talk about how we create our feelings. We're talking about emotions here, right? And the big word that gets thrown around now is, you know, eq emotional quotient, emotional intelligence. Whether you're in sport, whether you're in business, whether just hanging out with a group of friends or in a community group, people talk about others lack of EQ or someone has amazing levels of emotional intelligence, but essentially they're talking about that person's ability to interact with others and how to react in a responsible and thoughtful way that fits into their narrative of what's normal. Now let's talk about emotions. Because if we want to achieve excellence, if we want to really maximize human potential, then it's essential that we look at how we think, how we react, how we respond, how we behave. Our emotions are going to drive a lot of that success or lack thereof. So how do we think and how do we react and where do these emotions all come from? Well, essentially it's really important to think about stimulus, right? So there's going to be a stimulus every moment of every day. When you think about, you know, how does a stimulus enter our mind? Well, it comes through touch, right? When we touch something, that's a stimulus. When we look at something and see it, it's another one. When we hear it, it's another one. Taste is another one, right? So we've got all these senses that we have, and that allows us to interact with the world, to understand the world. So when something happens, that triggers thought, right? So let's say you wake up in the morning, instantly there's a stimulus, right? So that stimulus can come in the way of the smell of coffee. The coffee is being, you know, put on the pot and you can smell. That's a stimulus. That's a smell right? Now, right away, once a stimulus happens, what we do without knowing it is we attach a meaning to that. So there's a meaning attached to that. So for us, could be, I could smell a coffee. So, so that meaning that we could attach subconsciously could be, ugh, gotta get up and go to work right? Now. When we think like that and we attach, the meaning of coffee means it's morning, which means I gotta go to work, which I don't enjoy, Then that triggers an emotion. And that emotion is gonna be low energy. That's gonna be maybe resentment, Maybe you're just feeling deflated, maybe you're feeling like, you know, I don't wanna go to work. I'm. I'm disappointed by that. Or it frustrates me. Or maybe it could be even hatred, right? These emotions can be really low level or they can be high level. Now once we start to feel that emotion and that feeling, then that impacts our behavior, we react in a different way. So we might get out of bed, we might then respond to the first person we see, whether that's our loved one or our child. We might respond to them in a less empowering way, maybe a little bit negative or short with them, or you don't really want to talk to them, right? So that's the cycle of what happens. But a stimulus comes in, we then attach meaning or we interpret it, and then that creates an emotion or a feeling. And then we react and behave accordingly. And it's just, It's a cycle, right? It's, it's a loop. So the great thing is that we can jump in there and we can change one of those things right? Now we can't change the stimulus often that just happens. So someone crashes into the back of us. Well, we couldn't change that. But the one thing we can change is the meaning that we attach to that stimulus. So let's say you're driving to work, you're possibly running a bit late. Someone drives into the back of you, what's the first thing you think? Crap, maybe. Maybe a different word, Maybe a stronger word than that. Right? You then attach a meaning like, why did that idiot do that? What were they doing? Could they not just focus? They were probably on their damn phone right now. That attachment, that meaning, that, that's probably pretty normal for a lot of people to think like that. Now, what's that going to do? That's going to impact the emotion. You're going to be annoyed, you might even be angry, you might be fearful, you might be aggressive, right? And then how's that going to impact how you behave? Well, you're going to talk to the person with probably a loud voice. You'll be quite rapid in how you speak. Your mind will be racing. You'll probably make poor decisions. Right? It could go downhill. What you get the opportunity to do as someone who wants to maximize their own potential is you get to jump in and change the meaning. You get to control what meaning is attached. So someone crashes into the back of you, what meaning could you attach? It's got to be a conscious decision. You got to drive that consciously because your subconscious is connected to your inbuilt negativity bias. We're born with a negativity bias, the survival mechanism, right? So you've got to jump in consciously and say, this is the meaning I want to attach to this stimulus. Someone crashes into the back of me. First situation or first meaning could be, am I okay? Yeah, yeah, I'm cool. Is everyone else in my car okay? Everyone? Yep. Cool. Great. I wonder how the person that crashed into me is. I hope they're okay. You know, I wonder what's going on in their life today that meant they were distracted and didn't see that I was there in time. Or perhaps they may have had a medical emergency, have had a heart attack, and have crashed into the back of me all of a sudden. That meaning you have consciously attached to that stimulus, that's going to totally change your emotion. You're going to be more understanding. You're probably going to be empathic. You're probably going to be thoughtful. You will ask questions rather than maybe shout abuse at this person who's crashed into the back of you. You will be calm and therefore your behavior will reflect that. Your actions, you will Be.

Calm and measured. You will be helpful, supportive, resourceful. You make sensible decisions, right? So it's really important to know that whatever's coming in and there's constant stimulus coming in all around us, you know, whether that's the smell of the coffee, whether that's, you know, the dog's got to be taken for a walk and you see the dog sitting, waiting for you first thing in the morning, it's got to be fed and take him for a walk and scoop its poop, right? You get to attach meaning to that and a lot of people go, ugh, do I have to do that? I had like four hours sleep last night. That meaning that you've attached will then obviously set an emotion, which is low level energy, which is possibly resentful, which is not empowering. Then you reluctantly take the dog for a walk, and when it poos and you have to pick up that smelly thing, you're really hesitant and you're a bit resentful about it. But if you turn it to, oh my God, look at that gorgeous dog. How lucky am I to have that animal and to cherish it and nurture it and then I get to take it for a walk and I get to pick up its poo, how lucky am I? Some of you are probably not thinking that, right? But it's all about the meaning you attach. And when you attach that empowering meaning, your emotions and your feelings will reflect that. So I want to challenge you to think about what was something that's happened in the last 24, 48 hours where you've reacted in a way that you weren't proud of, or you reacted in a way that you know you could have done it in a more resourceful and serving manner. What was that situation? I want you to think about it. Write it down. What was that situation? Was it that such and such forgot to do the dishes, Right? That's a stimulus, right? And then what meaning did you attach to that? Oh, they really don't contribute, they don't care. I do everything around here. Then how did that affect your feelings and emotions? You probably got a bit grumpy. And then how did that affect your behavior and your reactions while you were probably a little less than pleasant to that individual? So I want you to think about the situation. Then I want you to ask yourself, what meaning did you attach? And if you didn't consciously, which you probably didn't, if you didn't consciously attach a meaning, what was the subconscious meaning that may have been attached? So you may not even Know what it is, but look at what your emotions and your reactions were. And that will help you determine what that subconscious attachment of meaning you have attached there. Now let's think about what you could do to change that. So same situation comes up. What different meaning could you attach to that? To think in a different way, to filter it in a more empowering way, to really serve your emotions and to react in an amazing way that serves others around you. Now that is hard work. That's called doing the work. But that's how we reach our human potential, by reflection and by consciously taking our filter of the world and deciding what we want that filter to be like. That filter that we currently have was formed through childhood memories, good, bad and indifferent. It was formed through what we heard and what we have heard for years. Through media, social media, the government, at school, in newspapers, everywhere around us. There are different pieces of information coming in that really help us form our filter and our beliefs of the world. But we get to choose if we want to change that filter. It's not easy work, but it's incredibly powerful. And if you are a high performer and you want to be a better partner, you want to be a better business person, you want to be that athlete that maximizes their potential, well, then you've got to consciously do the work to attach empowering meaning to as many of those stimuli coming in as possible. And I want you to think about all those different stimuli that do come in. An email is a stimuli. Some people get a little bit anxious when they see 25 emails that are unread that they've got to get in and respond to, right? Why? Well, they've attached a certain meaning to that that makes them feel anxious, like, oh my God, do I have to do that? Oh my, I just can't do it. Oh my. I've got so much on my plate, I don't even know what to say to that person. And what if they don't take it? Right? Oh, maybe I should make a phone call. Oh, but that'll be a 40 minute phone call. I don't have the time for that. All of a sudden you're breathless, your mind is racing and your emotions are stirring up like in a negative way. And then you respond negatively to the other people around you. Maybe you drop the ball on some of your responsibilities. Maybe you don't help out where you could be helping out. Maybe you're a little short to your kids. So I want you to think about the power of understanding the information you've listened to today. It's so life changing when you can think about the stimulus attaching meaning that empowers you to really manage and influence your emotions when which then impact how you behave to the people around you. And if you want those job promotions, if you want those opportunities, you want the love of your life, well thinking about how you respond, react and how you are emotive that is going to have a great impact on the success in all areas of your life. So I hope you enjoyed today's short session. I just wanted to give that to you. It was on my mind. I've been talking about it with some of my one to one clients and I'm going to dive deep on it with my Purpose Club in the coming months. So if you're not a member of the Purpose Club already, do come across and check it out. So jjloughlin.com thepurposeclub I know you'll love it, but whatever you do today, let's get out there and maximize your potential. Hey guys, if you enjoyed the content today, please smash that subscribe button below. And if you want to become part of my community, I've got an amazing free Facebook group. Please come and join us. The link is in the description below. And also if you've got any questions about today's session, I'd love to know. Just comment below and I'll be sure to get back to you guys. Have the most amazing day.