Life on purpose weekly - Full interview with Anthony Trucks

Hey.

Hey, Anthony. How are you, brother?

I'm good, man. How are you doing today?

So great, man. Absolutely amazing to see you. Thank you for making the time to connect. I really appreciate it.

Hey, happy, man. Thanks for having me on, brother. It's been, it's been a fast day and it's, it's not slowing down and I'm all for it. I'm here for you, bro.

So I just shared with my viewers here. They're going to be watching this live and on replay a little bit about your background. And you've had an incredible life of ups and downs and challenges. So can I ask you please to share a little bit of your story of childhood and teenager through to making it into the NFL?

Yeah, man. NFL is a crazy monster. So it's like NFL. And I've been on TV shows and weirdness and all that stuff was not the norm. It's just before I've been talking about, I mean, statistically, if you go to America, any prison in America, 75% of the inmates are former foster kids. And 50% of our homeless population has spent time in foster care. And less than 1% of us actually graduate from college. And so somehow I beat those odds and then still played in the NFL, which is a small percentage of human beings do that. And then I had a business that I ran and sold after a decade. So a small percentage there. And a lot of it ties to an adoptive mom who, man, she loved me past my crazy. But the way even came to that was at 3 years old, my, my real mom took me and my three siblings, all four of us, and put us in the foster care system. Pretty much said, I don't want my kids anymore. And she gave us up into this crazy world that was not a very good world for us. The world did some, we'll call it damage to us as kids. And so through a lot of ups and downs and navigating identity, like I didn't know who I was or where I fit, man, at six years old, I ended up in a family. It's an all white family. So I had these dynamics of not knowing what's up, Kate, not knowing who I was and where I fit and what goes on. And then, you know, get to the point of like 14, I'm finally adopted. Life begins. But it's crazy because my mom's sick. She got diagnosed with Ms. My older brother goes in the military and I'm one of six. And he was like my rock, trying to figure out football. I'm horrible at football. And, you know, I kind of almost gave up on life at a young, young age and was going to become a statistic. And then I decided not to. Through a weird turn of events, I was like, I'm going to be great. I'm going to beat these odds. I'm going to do something amazing. And I kind of set my sights on something different. And so I decided to, like, work incredibly hard towards something that didn't make sense at the moment. There was no reason to believe that what I was trying to do was actually come to fruition, but I did. I planned out how to execute and ended up getting a scholarship. So I played football at the University of Oregon on a scholarship, got a chance to play in the NFL. Had a kid at a young age, Married my high school sweetheart. After college, I came to play in the NFL. But when I got done, I broke my life. Is the best way to explain it. You know, my marriage got shot. You know, I. Business was tanking. I was almost bankrupt in the business. I wasn't a present father. We had two more kids with three kids and just wasn't. Wasn't good, man. I didn't, I didn't like myself post football, Was not a fan of what I was living. And sure enough gets to the point where, like, I want to take my life genuinely. I was like, if this is life post football, I don't want to be here. And a lot of people who are listening to the story, it's like, cool story, bro. Right. Isn't really, you know, it's like just some guy's story and there's a lot of bad stories. But the big thing that I want to impress upon the heart of the individuals. Listen right now, and I'm talking to you, that there is a level in your life where you don't want to be in. There's two places that could feel like one is like, holy crap, this sucks. I really want to get out of here, or it doesn't hurt enough to move. The problem is both those places land you in an end result that you don't appreciate and you don't want to be in. And so right now, you might be going through life and it's just, it doesn't hurt enough. And for me, I find out, like, eventually it hurt enough. For a couple years I went to that fog of kind of like doing whatever I do, no big deal. And then I was then like, you know what? This hurts enough. I want to feel this. And when you don't want to feel it, something has to Change. I dug in. I realized that I and all of us was the common denominator in all my problems. I was the one that was always there, always, always around, we'll call it consistently, and all my problems. So I was like, I gotta figure out what this guy needs to work on. And through a turn of events, man, I figured it out. I did a lot of work. I found out that there's a process to it. There's a way to navigate it. So after three years, divorce got my marriage back together. My kids are happy and healthy. My business is thriving. I'm in good shape, you know, better shape than I was, will call it. I'm not in football shape like I used to be, but. But the big thing was there's a catalyst moment of my mom passing away. She passed from Ms. And I got to the point where I was like, I got to find some way to make this woman's investment in my life worthwhile. I got to do something to press into the world in a way that carries her message. And what it was for me was like, she unconditionally loved this little bad black kid that really had, you know, was not her blood. She had no reason to keep me. And I made her life pretty difficult. I was like, damn, if she can love me past the crazy to help me reach a full potential, what if I can unconditionally love the world in that manner? Those who don't love me, right? Those who cause problems to my life, how can I love on them and create something special for them that allows the world to be better from whatever the world I went through? And so that was kind of like the catalyst of my. My life being what it is right now. And. And yeah, man. So now in this world, I get to go back and give back messages and speeches and videos and teach things from lessons I've learned and then guide people along what I call the shift method to get to that point in.

Their own life that's truly beautiful. For those who are watching, I'm sure that you can just see that the transformation that Anthony decided to go upon was a decision and that process that you talked about, the shift method, can you please share a little bit more about that and also let us know where we can find out as viewers and people watching us, where we can find out more.

Yeah. Yes. There's a couple ways. One, if you want information, this and possibly sounds like something that resonates, have people, you can go to my inbox and Instagram. Here. You do it right now. We're on here and just type the word shift and message the word shift to me, and then I can pop and have a discussion and connect you with the people in my team. They can unpack everything. But here's what I realized. There was a stage multi, like multiple stage you must go through to get where you want to be. For me, the end result is an identity shift. And so what that means essentially is you shift into the person who has what you want, because if you were that person, you'd already have the things you want. You think a certain way, you feel a certain way. You do certain things that are easy. And the shift method goes through a concept of first see and then shift and then sustain. There's three specific stages. We don't got to go super deep unless you really want to go deep. But what I did is I took this, this look at my life and said, where did I navigate all these crazy things? Because I. I've gone through, I think we counted like 30 plus shifts that other people, when experiencing them, usually get stuck on and never come out of. But I got through a lot of them, like all of them, right? So how did I get through them? Was the question, where does neuroscience tie in? Where does psychology? And how do I make that actionable for human? Because it's all good to hear stories. We can sit here back and forth and tell stories all day, but. But, you know, Jason and mom had on here, like, they want to know how in the world you do it. Like, what was the thing? How can I take that in my life, plug it in, and actually have my life do that? And so I was like, let me figure that out. And I worked through a process. Here's what I realized that I have. I've understood from science and habits and identity your habits. What you do consistently will turn you into somebody. It just does. Unfortunately, we borrow habits from people. We see something, we read, we read an article and go, we should do that. So I do that. And I never realized that every time I'm being somebody and showing up, I'm becoming someone. So people get to midlife and go, I don't even know who I am anymore. Right. Well, it's because you just adopted the habits because the boss said to do it, or you read it in a magazine because Jennifer Lopez did it and you love her butt. Like, that's not a realistic reason. You know what I mean? So who you want to become, the big piece of it. And then what football taught me was this. You have to understand how to exit first x You. But first plan, strategize and plan at a world class level. Most people buy planners like they buy these planners with no idea how to plan. So what happens is you never get to the point of trusting the plan. And if you don't trust the plan, you never execute, Right? And so what happens is football taught me how to masterfully strategize and, and pretty much, you know, plan something that I could trust and follow. And then the execution part happens. A lot of people never actually execute. They get to the point of the moment of I got to do it, and then they procrastinate, they make excuses or they delay or they say, you know what, I'm going to do that next week. And then midway through next week, they couldn't get started. So they're like, I'll do it next week and it's always going to be next week, right? So how do you show up in those moments that you plan for and do it? And it's not just taking it one time now that I execute on a past imposter syndrome or fear of failure or fear of judgment. Because that's what happens. Most people think that it's like, oh, I just don't have the system or information. Most people have too much information. It's not a shortage of information. There's a fear dialed in somewhere, even if it's just a fear of failure, right? And so if you didn't have fear, you'd already be doing it by now. We're just being honest. If there wasn't some little fear somewhere, it would already be getting done, right? And the last piece of it is the one that's most important is are you staying consistent? Because most people, they, there's zero consistency. They'll try something this week and then it gets hard and the next week they don't do it. And then they keep not doing it and eventually nothing pans out and they wonder why there's no success. I ask people when I talk to them, let me take a look at your life. A year ago, if you had done a year ago, everything you planned yourself you were going to do and promise yourself you do, what would your life look like right now? Like, seriously, if you were to, you know, think about, I was gonna get up every day and get a workout, you'd be lighter, you know, you'd be in better shape. If I was every day gonna do a podcast, right? I would have a podcast with followers and listeners. If you're gonna launch a coaching program, you'd have clients be making Money right now. If you had to do social media, you'd have followers that could turn into something to help you support a community in a cause, right? But people get into something with no plan. If they do execute, it's short lived. So all of a sudden consistency becomes impossible because it's not who I am to do this thing. Because here's the beauty. Those things, they got to be done. Everybody who wants what you want does them. If they have it, they've been doing it, but it looks easy to them. It is easy because it's who they are. When it's like, it's just like what you do, dude, it becomes fun. So imagine if, if I wanted to take this pill and this pill, I hated taking it every day, but if I took the pill, I would lose weight. If I hated taking it every day, I would take it for a day and then I'd be like, oh, I don't want to do it, it's gross right now. Eventually I wouldn't get the result of it. But what if somebody loved popping the pill? Man, every day I'm popping it. Oh yeah, right. That person loses the weight, it's the same thing for life. It's a pill. You have to pop a specific needle. Moving actions you got to do consistently for your dream. And when you learn to do them with joy, you have the success and it looks easy. And so for a lot of people, if you just pop it on. The true thing of what I look at with the shift method is see, shift, sustain. I see what's got to be done. I craft a plan, I shift, I do the work, I execute consistently. Sustain. It's going to be over time when you can do those three things in a way that we teach in the method and we do a lot of like planning, structuring, strategizing, that it's a lot of action, action, action, action, action. Do life changes. Everything turns over. The one issue we typically run into, which is an interesting question is, you know, I'm already in this coaching program or I got this information, I read this book. When I'm done with that, then I'll go and talk to you. And it's like, oh, I think you're completely missing the point. The problem is a lot of people get information overload. They get shelf esteem. I buy it, I feel good, it goes on my shelf and I feel good and I never consume it, I never execute it. I'm the guy that gets you to go in and say, okay, what do you have access to? What information do you have, you haven't utilized. What steps do you know you should do that you're not. How do I get you to do those things and not just do them one time, but make it who you are? Because once you got that one done, that becomes easy. It's spinning. It's like riding a bike, right? You're struggling to ride the bike right now. The moment you ride the bike now, you can take something else on, Go to the newspaper, chew your gum, have a conversation. You can add more things that make you successful. So many people right now in life haven't even learned to ride the bike, so they can't go to the next thing that can give them success. So I teach you how to kind of ride the bike of your life. I just made it up. I think it makes sense.

That's epic. It makes sense to me. Let me on that bike. I want to know more. I think that's seriously phenomenal. I love the whole idea of shelf esteem and, you know, buying all the self help books, but they sit on the shelf. That's golden. So we think about parenthood, you know, I think when we as parents, we are leaders, we are role models, we're modeling for our kids. So. So a question I've got for you is, what does it mean to be a dad to you? What is the meaning behind being a dad?

It's everything, dude. For me, it's everything. And I genuinely mean that. It's not like this arbitrary, like, oh, it's everything. And I'm not the consummate, I'm not the perfect father. But it really boils down to a lot of how I look at legacy and life and my background, right? So I grew up in an environment where I did not have my real father in the picture. I didn't meet my real dad till I was 21. You know, I foster dads, and it wasn't a good, you know, one good foster daddy. Wrong. My dad, he's a good guy. He's only 12 years older than me, though. Like, I have a weird dynamic there because it was. I was young when I got adopted. He was also. So what ended up happening is I look at the world and I realize that for me, there's a moment in time when I was 20 years old, sitting in the University of Oregon locker room, and I was about to go into a workout. I get a call from my fiance because we were engaged at the time, no baby in the picture. And she calls and says, I'm pregnant and I'm 20 years old, and I'm a college student and mostly will be like, did you freak out? I had people telling me, tell her, get an abortion, dude. The moment I heard, I was like, dude, I'm excited because I now could give back to a life the way that was not provided for me. Like, I'm a college student. I'm gonna have a degree. Like, no one in my family has a degree. In my extended or my adopted family, nobody has a degree. Like, I got an opportunity. I got a fiance, you know, girl at home, she's in college too. Like, she's getting hurt her degree at the same time. And I mean, I didn't know I was going to do it, but I was like, right, well, I'm a full time student, I'm a full time athlete, but I'm also going to be a dad. So I was like, I'm a dad who plays college football. That was the identity shift I made. I'm a dad who plays college football. And as a student, right? And when I realized that, like, that came as priority, how I would be at home, I wasn't partying and hanging out like I was at home. It literally, it formed a different kind of, I guess, connection of what was important to my brain in those moments. And I now am in a place where I got three kids and my oldest is 16. And he just got us his license. Get his license, new car. The dude is an amazing human. Like, I love him even more than my son when I separate myself from being his son. Just a good human, right? And it's like, it's awesome. Able to be his dad. And that's what informs my decisions for how I show up in the world. Because I realize that whenever you go into the world, you are always someone to someone. Oregon did win. We won last night with 60.

Hey.

Well, two nights ago. So what happens is when we go into the world, we're always someone to someone. We don't even know that someone. Right. Typically. And you do things without realizing that there's going to be this base of people that see who you are. And so for me, one of the things that my kids will be able to say at all times, whenever I'm here or not here is my dad's Anthony Trucks. And he's a great man. There will be no one that can walk up to them in a private moment and say, but you didn't know this about your dad or you. He wasn't as good as you thought. And so my kids will be able to walk with their heads held high, knowing That I was their father. The way I showed up in the world, who I served, how I do these things right here, it's a living example of chasing a dream, like a dream to take my crazy and make something useful. It's a living example of how to treat humanity, the living example of how to treat your wife, how to treat your kids. So I'm a living example of these things. And I think when I say my being a dad's everything, it is who I am. It's an everything thing. It's not. It's not just Anthony floating, you know, through life. I think nobody. Even if you don't have children, it could be for your parents, it could be for your siblings, could be for your colleagues, could be your orphanage. You got to realize that when you're entering this world, there's going to be people that are going to say they know you. And for me, I want to have the people that will be introduced. Whenever they say I know them, they're met with this, oh, my gosh, that must have been great. That's a great human. So I do the things because I know that they're going to have those moments later on.

That's unbelievable. Thank you so much for sharing that. I think for those people who are watching, like, having a legacy statement or, you know, how do you want to be remembered? As a dad, as a human? Anthony just shared that with us, and that was incredible. And everything that Anthony does, it sounds like, dude, whatever you do, you're doing it with that in mind, thinking about your loved ones, your kids. That. That's truly beautiful.

100%, man. You got to. It's always got to be a driving force. And I don't think it always has to be some pie in the sky, humongous thing. Sometimes it's something simple that you just feel connected to it at a core, you know, ethical, daily process. Like, that's my little thing in the back pocket. That's why that's how I make decisions. Should I. Or, like, this morning is an interesting dynamic, but I have a speaking agent and I have a speaker that comes on, and no matter what speech I get, we have a contract that says that she gets a percentage whether I book it or she books it. And you'd think like, well, she didn't do any work on that. Why should she get any connection there? And so prior to us even signing on, I had this organization I'd sign a contract with while ago, and it was supposed to take place this year and I think April, well, opposite things Shut down. They shut it all off, canceled it. She wasn't even around at the time. And as an agent, I think was beginning like January, February this year, I started talking to. We signed on. So this company came back, said, hey, we want to, you know, have you do a virtual event in January. We're talking almost a year later, and they want to do it. She wasn't part of it. Just today I messaged her, said, hey, I just concluded a virtual presentation that's going to take place in January. This company, they don't do social. It's. It's a nonprofit. She would never know. The world wouldn't even know I'm doing it. But for my integrity purpose, I let her know, hey, I have this thing coming. You have money coming from this. She didn't know about it. Wouldn't it? And it's not so much that it has, like. I don't even know why I'm telling you, because if I wouldn't tell people this stuff. But I realized. But this, this is the integrity piece. So that if I was doing my thing and she did find out, my kids said it be like, yeah, but you know what? Years ago, your dad, I found out, he took a speech and didn't pay me. Like, that could happen. You know what I mean? And I would much rather have her get paid her percentage because she, one, deserves it. She's amazing, so. And two, because I can't live with that darkness on my heart. But also three, I never want to have that moment happen in the future where that could be a degrading aspect of my integrity. And so, like, little things like that, they teach me how to live. I want my kids to never have that moment. Which means what I do in the dark will always come to the light. And if you don't live your life in that manner, you're going to have a lot of things all of a sudden pop out of the light and darken your life.

That's unbelievable. I think, you know, looking at that from a dad perspective, not leaving crumbs, life crumbs behind where you're looking over your shoulder thinking, oh, my God, I didn't pay that person, or I did this and I wronged that person. I think it's beautiful. And to have that mentality. And for those dads and moms out there, or any human for that being that that matter, who's trying to find their purpose, how does a person go about finding their purpose or attaching passion to that purpose and being that human?

Yeah. So it's Interesting. You say attach passion because there is something to the passion. I think there's a lot of things that people will say in this manner. And this is what I have found to be true. I'll tell through a story of my life. So my first passions were football, right? So football would do my passion of football. And I was in, you know, just high school, and then I was like, oh, I can go to college. Let me try that. And then in college, I was like, wait, I can go to the NFL. Let me try that in the NFL. I lost my passion. Like, I, you know, not that I lost my passion, lost the game. So I couldn't play the game anymore unless I wanted to go out and get arrested for tackling people on the street. So I couldn't do that, you know, and so I get to this point where I'm now in a position of, like, I don't know what to do. I'm doing this gym thing, which I was passionate about, but I kind of had this, like, there's something more, right? And I didn't know my purpose just yet. But here's the thing. At every level, I was like, I'm going to retire playing football. Then it's like, oh, well, that didn't work out. I'm going to retire doing the gym thing. I sold out in a passion, in the moment. I just. I would sell out. I would do everything. I wake up early, go to bed late, learn. I do all this work. So I'm passionately chasing what resonated with my heart that didn't make sense to people. I almost went bankrupt in the gym business probably seven times, dude. But my friends and my wife, like, cancel it, close it. Just take the L, move on. Like, I'm like, no, I gotta do this, right? And so my passion led me, and then it led me to eventually, like, consulting. I'm like, oh, this consulting thing's really cool. I can talk to organizations about how to keep their people healthy to minimize strains and sprains in the industries of corporations. So I was like, all right, I'm do that. And in doing that, I was like, oh, well, you know, people actually like me talking, so I can talk. And I'm doing fitness. I'll talk about fitness. So I was talking in fitness again. A new passion came up. Let me go talk on the. This fitness, you know, kind of. We'll call it the circle, whatever, the circuit. So I started doing that, and then I was like, I like talking. And then people heard my personal story. They're like, really? Love your personal story. It's like, oh, well, I tried something like that. Happened across a guy named Brendan Burchard, teaches you how to do this stuff. I'm like, oh, interesting. So, like, let me try this. So I leaned into that passion. I've been doing that since. And I got to the point where, oddly enough, I become like, I'm a person that goes to Brennan events and weirdly, like, end up on his stage. It's a long story, but I ended up chasing the passion of, like, whatever I'm doing, I'm selling out. So I would talk and I would share, and then I got asked to volunteer. And so I volunteer, and you get to be around the people. You get to learn stuff. I eventually got to meet him, and he can. And then the things just roll. But because I'm passionate about it in the moment, that thing, I'm introduced to more. And we ended up getting, you know, he invited a bunch of guys out to this. This ranch in Wyoming, Jackson hole, Wyoming. And I'm talking about guys on a table like him and at Lewis Howes and Trent Sheldon, Russell brunson, Jeff Walker, Dean graciosi, all these amazing minds, you know, and great hearts. And we're all sitting there. One of the guys, Ethan Willis, I'm telling him my business called trust your hustle at that time. And this is where the passion links to the purpose. So he telling the story, all these guys. He goes, I don't like it. I go, what do you. Wait, what do you mean you don't like. What are you talking about? You don't like it? I'm like, this is my life's work, dude. That's what I've been building up to all my life. I've been doing this. He goes, yeah, I don't like it. I'm like, what don't you like about it? He goes, well, you know, there's a message and a messenger. He's like, the message is this thing that is a powerful mess that lands, right? But the messenger, you get the messenger connected to that. You got magic. And he's like, you know what I want to know. He's like, the hustle part sounds good. He's like, but how in the world did you get to the point where, like, you navigated past the being the foster kid? How did you navigate past losing your football identity? How did you navigate past losing your mom? How'd you get past losing your marriage? How'd you get your marriage back together? How the business keep going? How are you here? How are you in this room of all these people is like, one of those things would knock so many people off track. What did you do different? And then the conversation was like, if someone said something like Brendan Mina said something like, it's, it's kind of like an identity thing. It's who you are. I was like, interesting. He goes, yeah, I think you should look into that, look into identity. He's like, no one really talks about it. There's got to be something there. He's like, I'm listening to your story. There's a certain part of who you are different from everybody else. I know. I was like, all right. So I kind of dug into it and lo and behold, like 70% of the stuff I've been working on was already in line with the science and the study of identity. No one else in the world was really talking about it the way that I think it could be definitely talked about in a depth and how it connects to our common, you know, world. Because right now it's all habits and mindset and productivity and don't get me wrong, those things all work. But what's interesting is identity is like a burrito of all those rolled up when, when you, when you are of an identity of the person who succeeds. There's not a question about mindset. It's just who you are to do that thing. Somebody else calls it a strong mindset. You call it Tuesday morning. You know, like there's, there's the habit. Somebody else, like, you got some powerful habits. I'm like, yeah, that's how I run my morning, my morning routine. Right. You know, there's a way that I have this, you know, certain aspect of my performance. High performance. Yeah, that, that's my regular performance. You call it high. You know, like, so there's these levels when it's who you are. It's all wrapped up in your identity and it's easy. And so the more I unpack it, I was like, dude, that's where I, that's my purpose. Because my life is just a connection of crazy to get to this moment of like, I'm the guy that's navigated more forms of identity than most people have before I even knew it. As a foster kid and then adopted by an all white family, diversity. Then I got to be the kid that's, you know, a mom who's sick at Ms. I'm the one that sucks at football, great at football, the only the kid that doesn't fit in in school because I talk like this. But look like this It's a different dynamic called Oreo. I got called an Oreo back in the day a lot. I got picked on in that way. Then you get to college. I'm a guy who is a kid. Nobody has a kid in college as a football athlete or is faithful to one woman. I had teammates tell me, you're never gonna stay with that chick, bro. Get past her. She's my wife to this day, you know, like. So there's different dynamics. And I got buddies who. They'll still talk about that, some of my linebacker buddies. But there's a dynamic that's still in place. And then I get to the point of, like, losing a grandfather. And then I, you know, I lose my career in football, and I lose my marriage. I'm a bad dad, and I lose my mom, and I build it all back up and all these different pieces of my identity. And that's the thing that, for me, I think, was the purpose. But here's the answer to your question. When people are trying to get to their purpose, they're not willing to chase their passions.

That's the problem. All I did in that entire story, I kept chasing every single passion that popped up in front of me. I was like, I feel like I'm going to try that. And I chased it. My heart said, go do it. It didn't make logical sense to anybody else. But the problem is, is logic is the thing that most people are living off of when they shouldn't be, because logic is typically the norm. If you think about America and you kind of study the numbers, 53% of people are unhappy in their life or in their career. So the norm is just. The norm is being unhappy. So if I want abnormal, I have to do what they would say is abnormal. If they're saying it's cool, I know it's not the right thing to do. If the master, like, yeah, do that. I know it's not where I want to be. So I chase the thing that doesn't make sense to everybody else, but it makes sense to my heart. And I make sense of it over time by taking actions, by failing a little by little. I get met with the fork in the road. Every one of these things that. A fork in the road, it was football to a fork, to a gym to a fork, to consulting to a fork, to speaking to a fork. You know, like all these. And then, boom, here we go. We land on something. And that's where you get to the point of, like, I am now in a space where, like, this is what God created for me to do in this planet. He put me through the crazy. He got me through with a mindset and a heart and a perspective and an identity of a man who knows how to utilize that for a positive force. And so that's what I do now. This. This is like what I'm called. Called to do more than I can even imagine. And I. And I would have never known it if I didn't chase the passions. I would have robbed the world of the gift of me. The same as everybody else unfortunately, is doing right now. So many people are robbing the world of the gift, of what they were created for. And when you finally lean into that and you do that work, the world opens up for you and you get to enter it powerfully.

That's mind blowing. That's absolutely amazing. For anybody watching that, please rewind the last few minutes and just replay that. That is absolute gold. And I should take a moment, actually, Anthony, to thank Brendan Burchard. He's the reason that you and I are doing this right now at his influencer summit. You are insanely awesome, and I reached out. So a big, massive thank you to Brandon for connecting us.

Thanks, B. Appreciate you, bro. He's a good dude, man. He literally is behind the scene, so he's seen to be in the front. He's a good heart. We got these cool people on yonder. Bajos is on here, too. Florence, how you doing? You get some cool folks paying attention hanging out too?

Yeah, I love it. No, it's good to see all you guys log on. And great to see you guys commenting on this amazing, amazing story. And so I wanted to ask you one question as well. What is the connection or what do you think the connection is between leadership and fatherhood?

Oh, man. I mean, well, the thing is, there's kind of that concept. I think leadership is an aspect of we have to immediately think external. Right. I'm leading something else. And there is obviously a big piece of. You're leading an aspect. But it's funny because the word discipline has to do with some of the same stuff. And discipline is usually a personal thing. So here's what I'll call. I think leadership is the aspect of being able to be someone who is, I guess, worthy of being in front or at least worthy of guiding the direction. Right? And then someone who is able to do the thing to get people to the destination we're trying to go. So it's one thing to be like, I'm the leader and be there, but you can be a Bad leader, just like you could be a father, be a bad father. And I believe that they're one of the same, to an extent. Discipline, when I talked about that, what it is, is if you think about disciple means to follow, right? And then plan is plan, right? So to follow a plan, and typically it's your personal plan. I think what happens for a lot of people is they want to be leaders, but they're not disciplined enough to be a leader. The discipline in and of itself means, do I hold integrity at a certain level that keeps it consistent for what it is that I know needs to be done? And then do I hold everybody else down the line accountable to that by holding myself accountable? When I was in college, I was never the yelling kind of guy. I was the guy that lived it so thoroughly that you saw it had to be done. I'd mention it and you would feel bad for not doing whatever I did. I had. When I was a senior, I had 20 linebackers, and I was the sole senior over 20 linebackers. We still got things done, man. But I wasn't ever yelling. I wasn't ever cussing. I led it, I showed it. I did the work so that my discipline led to them seeing a leader do it, and then leadership became easier. So I think if somebody's getting to the point of trying to, like, be a good leader or good father, people will do what they see, not what you say. And what they see has got to be the actions. Like they say, you know, your. Your actions were so loud, I couldn't hear what you said. Right. Like, that's kind of a thing. I've always lived my life in that manner. It's not always for everybody else, but I realize that the best leaders lived it. And so I focus on leading myself. Now, if somebody wants to come into the loop and want to work with me or be around my ecosystem, my business, they want to be a client when I start teaching and telling them I can have a better outcome for their life because they are bought in. The problem with leadership is if you don't have bought in followers, they don't do the work necessary to get the outcome. And they will not buy in if you're not bought in. And they'll see it. So when people come and fall, like my kids, if I tell them to do something like, for example, my kids, I always tell them, if you kick a piece of trash on the ground, you're going to pick it up and put in the garbage. If we're out in public, I don't Care what it is. If you don't touch it, cool. It's not ours. But if you put your foot on, you kick it, or whatever it is, that means you knew it was there, you're gonna pick it up and put in the garbage. And my kids have always done this. I don't typically kick stuff because I don't want to put in the garbage. Well, one day I got out of this. The car at this track meet with my son, there's an apple, and I kicked the apple because I wanted to see it explode, and I kicked it. My son looked at me and he goes, you gonna pick it up? I go, yeah. And so I went around and picked up every little piece of the apple and put in the garbage. Now, I could easily be like, nah, I'm picking that up. It's wet and gross. I could have walked off. But what kind of leader is that? Because now every time I tell my son to do it, it trickles into the rest of the pieces. Like, yeah, dad said this, but he didn't do this. So, you know, it's a little nuances. So if I want to tell him later on, like, son, make sure you get this. This homework done, or make sure you're home at this time for the curfew, there's parts of him that aren't bought into the leadership because of, I didn't pick an apple up. You know what I mean? Like, and it's a little taken away. So as a leader, you got to know what you're going towards first. Like, we do that because I want to make sure my kids understand. Like, when you touch something, you're not part of it, you know, and the other piece is you stay consistent to integrity. They get to see that. So I tell my son, if you say you're going to do it, you got to do it whether you like it or not. It'll teach you what to say yes and what to say no to. But if I haven't led that way, then they're going to falter. So in fatherhood, I'm leading other humans, the most connected humans. I have to go out of the world. Affect your life, James. Like, they're going to affect you. They're going to talk to you. You're going to have a connection in a weird butterfly effect way, right? So I'm going to make sure my kids understand how to do it by being a good leader as a father. But as a leader in my life, they're also seeing things as well, because not everything tied to fatherhood so I'm in a long roundabout way kind of talking. But I think for me, the big thing is lead by example heavily and don't do it because you want to have them see you do something. Do it because it's who you are and it becomes easy. And then you're a natural leader. They call it a natural leader. All the natural leaders I've ever seen are fairly disciplined. Even if it's disciplined to do something stupid, right? It could be disciplined to be bad leaders. But they stay the course. They do that thing, right. So my thing is make sure you're staying dialed in and disciplined to whatever it is. And then show people by your example and by mentioning it what to do. And then big thing is celebrating. That's the one key piece is when people feel celebrated to do something. They we are humans that like connection and we like environment, like community. And so it happens whenever you do do things to show somebody the benefit of being part of that community, they want to be part of it more and they want to do a thing that stay in the community. So unfortunately happens in negativity. If you think about like the Holocaust, the community was, we do this to certain people and then you get celebrated by it by the community. I want to be accepted. I'll keep doing more of that, right? So it's a bad way of looking at it. But truthfully, it's how humanity works. So if you want to be in a space where like you, you have this cool community, like celebrate the people when they do what they're supposed to do, because you've led them to do that thing, a great job, amazing. Even if it feels funky. Most people aren't really good at giving like praise. Praise people, man. Hey, great job. Good dude. I'd like let them know and then they do more of that. Now it's easier to lead somebody who wants to do what they're supposed to do in that area.

That's amazing. Like, absolutely amazing. I've been studying in depth this year. I pick a 1 liter a year, but I go deep. So I've been studying every book I can find on Nelson Mandela. And what you just said connects. So, like, you're very Nelson Mandela esque in terms of your mindset, your leadership, your humanity. And the one thing he talked about was, you know, lead from the front. Sometimes you got to lead from the back, but lead from the front by example. And as you say, humans and kids, our little kids who are beautiful humans, they don't do what we say, they do what we do. And that's just. You've reinforced that massively. So thank you.

Yeah, very welcome, man.

Incredible. Now, I know we're going to wrap it up shortly because I know your time is precious and I really, really appreciate this. So one question here around self care. So mental health has taken a massive hit this year and it has been increasingly over the years with different stressors. But 2020 has been difficult for many. So when we look at the statistics of mental health with suicide, depression, domestic violence, largely men are the biggest statistics of the abusers, the self abusers. So do you have any advice for fathers out there, men out there, boys out there, in terms of self care, looking after yourself mentally, physically and how that connects?

Yeah, yeah, definitely. So this is, this is all of us. This is the world I live in. Here's what scares me about the time we're about to go into. I just talked about this in a live stream earlier today and I was talking about the fact that we're not only going into another lockdown, but we're going into the lockdown with a situation different from the spring and the summer. Spring and summer, you know, it's, it's daytime till, you know, 7, 8, 9 o' clock sometimes in California it's daytime. You can go outside with your dog, you can go for a walk, you can get out and experience nature if you're tucked in all day. Unfortunately, now we're about to be in because it's cold, it's dark, it's dreary, it's wet and we can't go anywhere, we can't go into a restaurant, we can't go in, you know, bowling, we can't do anything. It's about to be very scary. Like it actually gives me chills and fearful of humanity, what's about to take place because unfortunately not everybody gets to watch these things. They don't invest in this. And so one, like there's people. If you can be proactive about the people in your life you need to reach out to because you need to make sure you keep tabs on them, what they're doing, because right now they're going to need more than they know they need of support. The other part of it is sometimes you are the person to plant the seed but not water it. So there may be someone close to you that needs to have conversation, but you can't be the person to do that. You're just too close, unfortunately. So what I talk about is I tell them plant the seed water by introducing them to people that inspire you you may not be the person to inspire and change them. You may want to be, but you may not be the person may not accept you and see you there. So what you do is you plant a seed and let somebody else water the seed and introduce them to that person. Other part of it that I look at is movements big. Like you should move every morning in some capacity, some way. If you don't have an inherent level of joy, if you do, you need to find a way to spark that. Because happiness and joy, it's chemicals in our brain. We are chemical beings, right? And so if you can find ways to navigate the aspect of how do we bring joy, where it's serotonin, dopamine or epinephrine, it's these things that kind of go into the brain. So exercise movement actually increases this. It reaches something called BDNs, brain derived neurotrophic factor. And what it is, the brain protein that helps balance and normalize and build the pathways of the brain, but also normalizing these different brain chemicals. So you find joy, you find happiness through movement. It's been shown to help with depression. And so if you are not moving, you're not controlling something. I don't care if it means buying an exercise bike or going, you know, doing burpees in your house. It sucks in the moment, but then it feels good because you accomplished it and you actually feel good afterwards. So the first thing is you have to see yourself going, dark man, get up and move. It's a big, big piece of it. And then control the things you can control. I talked about this this morning also live, but control what you can control. Because one of the quickest ways to go downhill is feeling like, why do anything? You know, why even try? Like there's, you know, what's even the reason? Like it's not gonna be all feeling helpless like a leaf in the wind. A helpless helplessness is very scary because it makes you think, like, no matter what I do, it's not gonna work. So why even try? Why even? And so the biggest thing is you got to control what you can control. And it's two things. It's controlling your time, right? It's choosing to do something at a specific time in a specific manner and keeping that consistent so you feel like you have some power over something at least. And then controlling your response by planning for responses. Plan your reaction to situations. You may not have a perfect plan, nobody does. But if you can choose in a moment to say, okay, if something goes wrong, here's my first step. I'M going to sit, I'm going to breathe, I'm going to meditate for 20 minutes before I take an action. Gift yourself. 20 minutes to breathe before you do something. I say gift because it's hard to give. It's a gift. Gift yourself to release the problem for a moment. Breathe and sit, and then come back to it in a different emotional state. Because here's the crazy thing. What you choose to do becomes the experience the next moments of your life. If you make a poor choice, experience crazy. The world's a mirror. If you experience crazy, you act crazy, you get crazy back, right? So if you can choose to realize, okay, I got to control the next moments, what do I want them to be? The decision might be something that's hard to do, but. Right. And it feels a little bit difficult, but you know, it'll create a better outcome. You got to do that. But you can't act in a crazy emotional state without a plan for that reaction. Because typically what we do is we react and we can't put it back in the box. We say and do things we can't get back. And it's difficult because now it's like, damn, I gotta. I gotta commit to that now. You know, I said that, all right, I'm gonna put my feet in the ground and hold, right? And it kind of sucks because you don't have to be that way. And so I just tell people, have a plan for the reaction of situations and then breathe it out and then navigate those things delicately. And if you can do that, you can kind of come into this pandemic or whatever, or rest your life with a better. Control the situation. Because when you're the person who does this, because so few people do, let's just venture to say maybe 90% of the population doesn't do this. They just react. Look at social media, they just react. And so if you can be that top 10%, you get what the top 10% can't get, which is happiness and a joy and a different level of life.

That's simply beautiful. Thank you so much. It's amazing. And I want to say, Anthony, I hope that everyone that watches this, whether they're here live or they're watching this on the replay, I want them to connect with you. What is the best way for them? Just one more time, for those who have joined us later, what's the best way for them to connect with you and understand what you're about?

Yeah. Follow me here, man. Everything happens on Instagram and Facebook and all that fun Stuff if somebody's interested in the work I actually do, which is essentially help people create really cool futures by actually getting something done right. That's using a method that works. Tried and true, but it's really cool to see people come into my programs with, like, a little bit of, like, I don't know, imposter syndrome or lack of confidence, or they've had great success, but feel stuck and coming out in the back end, like, feeling like a monster. Like a whole different amazing human through a process that's tangible and tactical and trackable. But I've done the work in advance to realize who am I going to be. So I become that person. If they want to know that, go to the inbox or go to my. Wherever my message is, message me the word DM or shift. Sorry, DM the word shift. And then once you're in there and you hit shift, we start a conversation kind of to see if what I do might be a fit and talk to you more about the programs and the processes and the way I look at it, man, we're coming to this. I love the January timeframe. It's always this, for some reason, which I don't know why it is. People always like, I'm gonna do something great, and then they go buy something and they engage in something, and then seriously, like, statistically, within, like, two, three weeks, they're not doing it anymore. And it sucks. They float back their same way. They don't have the same flow, the same planning, same execution, same lack of consistency. And so for me, I love this window of time because this is where I get some people to change their entire life. Because they come in and they, for the first time, learn how to live their life systematically in a way that allows them to apply not only what they know, but in the future, do even more. It opens up bigger opportunities. And so that's a fun time for me. So people are like, man, I want to do something great this year. They have ambitions or they have some desire to do something great. Now's the time to reach out. I actually have one cohort that starts tomorrow. The next one's not until January. But yeah, man, if you guys want information, DM me the word shift, and I'll definitely give you guys a little insight to it.

Now, I hope that everyone that's watching this live right after this goes and joins that cohort tomorrow. Get in there and be amongst it. Anthony is the real deal. He's walked the walk. He's went through some major adversity in life. And he wants to share his identity shift and help you guys find yours. So, Anthony, thank you so much. I look forward to one day connecting with you in person on a stage or backstage.

Someday, man.

Thanks, brother. You take great care. And when the book that I'm publishing comes out, I'll be sure to send you a copy, my friend.

Thank you, man. Let me know, I'll get you on the podcast. We'll chat about it too.

That sounds awesome. I look forward to it. Thank you so much, brother.

Very welcome. Take care, everybody.

Cheers, man. See you soon. Hey guys, if you enjoyed the content today, please smash that subscribe button below. And if you want to become part of my community, like I've got an amazing free Facebook group, please come and join us. The link is in the description below. And also if you've got any questions about today's session, I'd love to know. Just comment below and I'll be sure.

To get back to you guys.

Have the most amazing day.