James Laughlin argues monthly self-reflection is essential. He walks through four concrete prompts: what you learned about yourself, what you learned about others, what to do more of, and which relationship to deepen. Reflection surfaces the habits you use to avoid uncomfortable truths.
January 24, 2021.
At the end of every month (monthly).
January 2021 is almost over. How have you traversed the last month? What's happened to start your year off? Has it been great? Has it been the way that you thought it would be? Well, this is the opportunity, guys, to reflect. And this is something I do personally. This is something I do with all of my life coaching and my executive coaching clients. At the end of every month, we go through a monthly reflection. Now, reflection is hard. Sometimes it's ugly. But there's one thing that's guaranteed when you reflect. You learn. And what do you learn? You learn about yourself. You learn about those around you. You learn about what's going on inside your head and how that impacts the world around you as well. So a few questions. If you truly are a person who is really conscious, a person who is in tune with themselves, a person who's intentional about the way they live, then I'm going to urge you and challenge you to reflect. Use this last month, so January 2021 and reflect on what has been Great questions. What have I learned about myself in the last month? Right, That's a great question. Write that one down and maybe answer that. What have you learned about yourself in the last month? In fact, comment below. What? What's one thing you learned about yourself in the last month? Often when we take time to reflect on ourselves, it brings up the greatest distinctions about who we are and how we respond in tough times, good times, in different times. What's one thing you learned about yourself? Are you resourceful, caring, kind, selfish, self centered, outgoing, contributive? What's one thing you learned about yourself? Another great question to ask is what have I learned about other people around me? Think about your loved ones, your partner, maybe a colleague, maybe a politician, maybe it could be your favorite author. What's one thing you've learned about people around you? Maybe their behaviors, maybe their reactions, maybe even their needs. What's one thing you've learned about somebody else? And you thought, wow, I'm so glad that I've learned that. Now I can respond in a way that serves them even better. I can be more empathic because I understand what's driving them. So think about those two questions. What have I learned about myself? What have I learned about other people? Another great question to ask yourself at the end of a month is what should I be doing more of that I'm not currently doing? So think back this month. Is it maybe exercise? Is it nutrition? Is it journaling? Is it starting that book you've always talked about? Is it Changing Jobs? Is it Having that difficult conversation with a loved one. What's the one thing you know you need to be doing more of and you're just not doing it. Another great question at the end of the month is, what's one relationship? I need to deepen one relationship. It could be your partner. It could be a parent, a sibling, a colleague, someone you haven't really reached out to as much in the last few months. What's one relationship that I want to deepen in the next month, the month ahead? Think about that one. Because that can change the trajectory of your life. The quality of your relationships will directly impact the quality of your life as you've taken the time to actually reflect. I want to applaud you. Not everyone does that because, as I say, reflection, self reflection is a really tough task. Often things come up that we've been brushing under the carpet. Often the things that come up in self reflection, those are the things that we try to avoid. Often that's why we'll reach for the daily glass of wine or the few beers, because it numbs us a little bit, lets us escape that little, you know, that high feeling, that light feeling when we're a bit tipsy. That's beautiful because it helps us to avoid some of those underlying things, right? So not everyone drinks to do that, but a lot of people do. They have, say, smoking, drinking, drugs, promiscuity. These different things help us avoid some of the tough stuff that we're not wanting to deal with. So in reflection, it's a time to actually let those things come up, to the surface, bubble up, and then we can address them. We can go out and go, okay, well, I haven't addressed that. I need some support or resources. I need to go and see a therapist or a coach or get that book or watch that YouTube video or do that meditation. So it's a time to really honor yourself and say, hey, I've taken the time to self reflect. Here's what I've learned. Put pen to paper and maybe schedule it once a month. It's certainly something I do with all of my clients. We sit down once a month, monthly reflection. What did you learn? What do you need to get better at? What didn't you do this month? You know, where am I headed? Is that has this past month served my vision for the next year, the next three years, the next five years? Your month is a little micro step in your life. But what you do in that month, that's equivalent to what you do in your life. So if you've got the bad habits across the month, well, the chances are those probably aren't going to change unless you change them today. So what's one thing? I've got one challenge for you. What's one thing you can do to improve the quality of your life? And that's what it comes down to, guys. It's not about who's got the most cars. It's not about who's the wealthiest, who's, you know, accumulated the most collectible items, who's got the smartest kids with the best grades, playing in the best soccer teams. Nobody cares. It's all about the quality of your life. And that comes down to your relationships. That comes down to your health. It comes down to your mindset. What do all those things have in common? You're in control of all of those things. They're well within your sphere of influence. So stay within your own sphere of influence. Some people say stay in your lane, right? I would say that's a great thing. Stay in your lane. Focus on you and think about how you can respond to adversity. Think about how you can serve others. Think about where you can contribute. But stay in your lane. So, so important. And guys, before we finish up, please subscribe. Smash the subscribe button below and look down below. I've got a little gift in there in the YouTube description below where you guys can pick up a free copy of my life ebook. You're going to love it. It's going to be great for the start of the year to get kick starting. So please go and get that for yourself and enjoy it. So one last question for you. What has been your greatest distinction in the last month? What is that one thing that you've picked up, learned, discovered that's going to really help you become a better version of yourself for next month? Hey guys, if you enjoyed the content today, please smash that subscribe button below. And if you want to become part of my community, I've got an amazing free Facebook group. Please come and join us. The link is in the description below. And also if you've got any questions about today's session, I'd love to know. Just comment below and I'll be sure to get back to you guys. Have the most amazing day.
