The 1 Thing Most People Learn Too Late In Life

NZ Mortgages is the proud sponsor of the Lead on Purpose podcast. You can check them out at nzmortgages Co nz. Imagine waking up one day with the shocking realization that you've wasted the one thing you'll never get back. Your time. What if it's already too late to fix? Before that moment arrives, there's something you need to understand right now. I'm James Laughlin and on this channel we unlock your full potential through proven habits and strategies for personal mastery. Take a moment to join Growth Weekly. It's my weekly newsletter I send out each and every Thursday where you get the insights from the best selling authors in leadership, self help, health, wellness, mindset. Every week I send a short email. It's full of gold from these amazing people I have on the show and I also give away a ton of incredible books. Often they are signed by the authors themselves from the greats like Daniel Pink, Jefferson, James Clear, Robin Sharma. And the list goes on. So please go and join the list if you're not already on the weekly newsletter. The link is in the show notes. Most people spend their lives chasing wealth, success and approval. But there's one thing that they often overlook and it costs them everything. Time. Time is the one thing. Now you know that. I know that. We know how precious time is, but often we let it fritter away. We do meaningless tasks. We say yes to things we don't really want to be at. We sign up for things that are like, not meaningful at all. We sometimes go down career paths that we don't particularly love. We read a book because a friend suggested we read it, but we're two chapters in and it's absolute rubbish. But we read it anyway because we know they're going to ask us how the book went. Time is so precious. It's very finite. I'm yet to meet anyone who has, you know, lived past 107, 108. You know, in essence we don't have forever. So this is the only thing. This moment, right now is the only thing that exists that's important time. Be really clear on what it means to you. Get absolute certainty around where you want to spend it, how you want to spend it, who you want to spend it with. I've personally spent time and look back on it and think, God, I wasted that. One of the places that I know that I spent way too much time in my late teens and twenties was at the pub. Way too much time. And I know there's so many great things that can happen in restaurants and Bars and pubs and connection and all that stuff. But I spent way too much time just drinking. And I go back and go, my God, if I could have that time back, I would use it so differently. I'd get out in nature, I'd be biking, I'd be reading, I'd be getting around cool people who challenge my thinking. I was at a pub talking nonsense, most likely, and there was nothing that I can look back on from those moments that have added richness to my life. But I can't dwell on that time that I've lost. I've now got to use that experience and go, how do I want it to inform the next thing? Another example that comes to mind is I was like 18 just before I moved to New Zealand and thought, I need to get qualified in something. I scraped through high school. Well, I don't really want to go to uni because I want to go to New Zealand. What could I do? Say, oh, I'll get a diploma in computer engineering. Me? Yeah, computer engineering. What was I thinking? I'd just seen it somewhere, advertised in a newspaper, rang the guy. Clearly a very good salesman he was. Signed me up, spent way too much money all up front, did it for three months, then quit. Then those three months were waste of time. I never used any of that information and I was never retaining it because I wasn't interested in it at all. There was zero passion. So I share that with you because I think all of us have done things that we look back on and go, that was time not well spent. But we're at this stage in our lives now with that knowledge going well, let's make sure we're very intentional about where we say yes, where we say yes to activities, studies, learning, people, opportunities. It's so crucial that we just get conscious around. What does it mean if I say yes to that? When you say yes to one thing, you know that you're saying no to many other things. Research shows that in the end, people regret not spending more time with family, pursuing what they truly care about and living more intentionally. That research is from real humans who are on their deathbeds. Spending time with family, doing things that you're passionate about, and living more intentionally and actually investing the time and stuff you care about. You have full control over that today. You and me, we don't need to wait till we're 60, 70, 80. We can do it right now. Getting really intentional with what today is about. Hopefully you and I get to live to 100, 110 healthily with mobility Hopefully. But that all comes down to what are we doing today? If we're not in some freakish accident that shortens our life, then we get to live that long life. But will it be healthy? Will it be mobile? Will it be conscious? So it comes down to what habits do we have now? Who are we spending our time with that is enriching us and not stressing us out? Another trap many of us fall into is trying to meet other people's expectations. We spend our time living for other people, whether it's parents, bosses, or even society's expectations. You know, the great book the five Regrets of the Dying or the Top Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware was phenomenal. This was one of the things that come up. We spend so much time making decisions and spending our time in places based upon what we think other people think we should do, and that's just such a waste. You know, this book that you should buy it and I'll make sure the team puts it in the show notes. The top regrets of the dying. You know, these people that were on their final days or weeks really regretted making decisions based upon what their parents thought they should do, their loved ones, their friends, their neighbors, and wish they had just done the things that mattered most to the them. Do you ever get into the swing of making decisions based upon others? I'm sure you do if you're like me or other humans. We often make decisions based upon what other people expect of us. So can I challenge you today? Can you do one thing today because you want to do it and you don't care what anyone else thinks about you doing it? Go and do that thing. Spend the time doing that thing. Go meditate at lunch. Go. Go and pray. Go and work out. Go to the cinema and, you know, finish work early today. Do what you want to do, not what other people expect of you. Just today, give it a try. Think about it. Every second, minute or hour you spend is an investment. Are you investing in things that bring you meaning, or are you spending it, you know, just getting through, calling it in? You know, think about it. We are so distracted. We have so many distractions right now. You might have just got distracted by a ding, a ping, a car going by, a notification, a little buzz on your watch. You know, we are just so distracted. And when you're distracted, you're not investing in your future self. You're literally frittering away that time. Whether it be binging on Netflix. That's distraction. Whether it's sleeping in needlessly distraction Going to the pub instead of a family dinner or that run that you've committed to for your upcoming half marathon. Those distractions have a price. There's an ROI when you invest in yourself. That return on investment comes as better health, better mindset, probably better wealth, you know, better connection, better career experiences. But try to be really conscious where you're spending time in a distracted state. It could be right now, most people, when they're listening to podcasts or watching YouTube, are doing so whilst doing something else. If you can, try and focus in as much as you can on the one thing that you know is going to bring you a great return. You know, too few people know how to manage their focus, but when you dilute your focus, you dilute your results. So monomaniacally focusing on what's most important, wmi, that is going to have massive returns. Most people come to the realization way too late, around time, around what it means and how important it actually is, and they look back in their lives and wish they had spent more time with family, explored their passions more, or simply lived with more intentionality. Are you going to be that person? I don't think you are. The fact that you listen to this podcast and probably other great shows and podcasts says to me that you're invested in yourself of being better, of incremental improvements and gains in your mindset, your health, your connections. You're a 1 percenter in my mind. Steve Jobs once said, your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Are you living your life on your terms? Are you making decisions for your career on your terms? Are you reading the books and making the time for that stuff on your terms? You know, I don't want you to wait till it's too late before you realize it. I would love today to be that day, this moment where you go, today's the day. I'm taking it, I'm seizing it. I'm getting clear on what's most important for me. So how do you reclaim your time now? Let's get down. I'm going to share a couple of tactics, few tactics with you that might support you on that journey. First up, prioritize meaningful moments. I call them the magic moments. Often when I'm texting a friend, I'm like, enjoy the magic moment today. You know, I've got a client heading out on the field to the quarterfinals or whatever it might be. Enjoy the magic moment. If I have a client who's switched off or a friend who's going on holiday with their people. Enjoy the magic moment, right? But prioritize these magic moments, these meaningful moments. Focus on experiences that enrich your life, right? And, you know, not just ones that look good on paper. Oh, I did the degree and then I did a master's and then I did an mba and then I was a doctor. That's awesome if that's your passion. But are you doing it because it looks good when you know your next book comes out and your Dr. Joe blogs? Are you doing it because you want to prove something to someone? Hey, I did this. Nobody else in the family has done it. Ask yourself why you do what you do. Try and do things because they're meaningful, not from a place of proving someone wrong. Proving yourself right in spite of any of those things are not good enough reasons to spend time wisely. Always prioritize meaningful moments. It could be a walk on the beach, but by yourself. Could be a sunrise with a loved one. It could be being at the graduation rather than being at some big business event Friend of mine recently posted. It was his daughter's year six or grade six graduation or he had the opportunity to go to SpaceX. Elon Musk's SpaceX. He decided to go to the year six graduation. Of course he did. Legend and he said there will never be another year six graduation for my daughter. But I'm pretty sure there will be another opportunity to go to SpaceX. Brilliant decision. Would you have made that decision? So good? Number two Nurture relationships. Spend time with loved ones, not just people who you work with. You know, someone once said to me, james, you're on a train and this train keeps moving through. Life starts at your birth and ends at your death. And as you're going on the train, certain people join you on the journey. Now at birth, you've got your birth family. Most people will have their birth family or their adopted family and they're on that train with you until the end. And along the way you pick up some school friends and then they get off at graduation often and go and do their own thing. One or two might stay around in the neighborhood, some still on the on the train. Then you get into your career. You're in your 20s, 20, mid 20s, early 30s, and all of a sudden there's all these career people on the train with you and they become a priority and you spend a massive amount of time with them and you're thinking about work and you're doing work and you're showing up early and staying late. And while you're doing that the other people on the train, which are your family, your loved ones, your kids, even grandparents, parents, sometimes they don't get to see you much. Sometimes they get neglected, they get the short end of the stick, they might get grumpy, you tired you, and everyone else gets positive you, driven you at work. Well, I've been reminded that as that train keeps moving and you get to 60, 65, 70, all the work people tend to get off at that station. They retire, they maybe move somewhere sunnier, they maybe pass on. But that train keeps moving, your life keeps moving forward. And when you look around you and you've stopped working and you forgot to nurture the relationships that matter most and use your time intentionally, well, those people that are supposed to be there with you and love you might have had enough of you by that stage. And it could be quite a lonely last part of the journey on that train. So nurture the people that matter most. Some of those people might be colleagues. That's great if it is, but most of them will be very close family members. They will be mums, dads, brothers, sisters, kids, aunties, uncles, etc. But think about the train that you're on. And remember, work is just a portion of this life. It's not. It's not your life. You are not your work. It's just a really cool part of your existence. It could be a passion for you. I hope it is. But let's chat about the third thing I think you could do right now. Pursue your passions. You know, don't wait until retirement for the right moment to do the thing. Get after it right now. Start small, but get started. Make the time to do what you love most. What gets scheduled, gets done. Get it on the calendar. Going to try skydiving. I'm going to run that half marathon. I'm going to do the Machu Picchu next year rather than when I'm 66. Because when you're 66, maybe you won't have the health or the wealth or the world might have changed and Machu Picchu might not be reachable. Prioritize your passions today and through life. My experience anyway is that you pick up different passions and you set down other ones, older ones, along the way. I no longer play drums. That was a massive part of my existence since I was 8 or 9. I did it endlessly and loved it, but it got to a point where I didn't really love it as much and I became a dad and I actually got way more joy and passion from being a dad. And I personally didn't see the space in the room for me to do both. I wanted to be a passionate dad. And then I thought, well, I've given up drums in terms of competing, so what else could I do? I became passionate about growing people and high performance and leadership. So in 10 years, my passions might be different again. And I want to encourage you to think about what you're passionate about right now. Is there something you're dying to try? Is there something you want to do a bit more of? Is there a great hike or walk that you need to go on? Get it scheduled today? Is there a trip you want to go on? Book the flights today. You know, don't wait. Tomorrow is not guaranteed for any of us. Time is not guaranteed. The only time that's real is this second, this moment. So really block it out and be conscious of it. Time is your most precious asset. Spend it wisely, because once it's gone, you don't get it back. Starting today, what are you going to choose to spend your time on? Your future self is going to thank you for it. If this episode was valuable to you, please do me one small favor. Forward it to one person. Let one person know about this episode. Please send it to them. But for now, please get out there and lead your life on purpose. NZ Mortgages is the proud sponsor of the Lead on Purpose podcast. You can check them out at nzmortgages.co nz.