James Laughlin on why vulnerability matters for men raised in gang and sports cultures. He describes the physical shame of opening up, and argues that owning your story invites others to do the same, turning vulnerability into power.
In order to own your story, you have to be vulnerable. You have to be vulnerable. I'm vulnerable with every guy who sits in my chair. And when I say vulnerable, I'm vulnerable with my story first. When you're vulnerable of your story, you give permission for other people to be vulnerable in their story. And so being vulnerable is scary as hell for men, you know, in gang culture, the neighborhood that I grew up, if you're vulnerable, that's used against you, you know, and a lot of society and a lot of sports clubs. If you're vulnerable, that's used against you, especially in male culture. And so owning that and telling my story, you know, getting pushback from when I was 15, from my own boys. Don't talk about this shit. You know, it happens to all of us. But, you know, you're bringing shame, all those things. It's hard, you know, you. How it feels is, you know, shame feels like sweaty hands, you know, your stomach's rumbling like a washing machine, all those feels. But the only way through vulnerability is. The only way to get past vulnerability is to go through it. And I feel it's been my greatest power being vulnerable, owning my story.
