A couple talks through their therapy session, discussing what they need to feel heard and how they argue. They worry that perfectionism and catastrophizing might make them avoid conflict altogether, which could damage the relationship.
All we want, whether we're just talking normally or we're having an argument, is we just want to feel heard. So hearing someone, even when you're talking about an Excel spreadsheet, I'm hearing you. I'm listening. Right. Do I care? No.
I can see there's a disconnect. We've had a disagreement, and it's never verb. Like, never aggressive. It's never screaming. No.
Never explosive or anything. It's like a debate. It is like a presidential debate for our point of view.
Which one are you, then?
I'm Kamala. You call me Trump.
How do you then tolerate when there is discontent, the relationship without. Do you ever find yourself catastrophizing, or is that perhaps part of the reason why you withdraw? I don't want to argue because if we argue, that might mean that we're headed for failure.
Honestly, consciously, I don't think I've ever thought that. But now that you bring it up, I'm like, that could be a real thing that's happening subconsciously. I don't want to get to the point again where something that brings me so much joy and connection, which is our relationship. I don't want to get to the point where I'm, like, fanatical, and it's like, you know, we got to be perfect and we've got to win at all costs. I don't ever want get there again. It's just things that I can be.
Aware of that you can't win. There you go. Yeah. It's tricky when it's business and, like, a romantic relationship in one. How do you manage that? What are your boundaries? We.
