What is Imposter Syndrome and How Can You Overcome it?

Do you ever feel like you're going to be found out or that you're not enough or that, hey, how did I get this role? Like, I don't actually know all the answers and eventually someone's going to catch me out here. Look, is, is a syndrome, imposter syndrome, in psychology, it's something that they look at as a spectrum. And we all sit somewhere on an imposter syndrome. Some of us it's quite intense. For others it's very low lying. Look, I'm going to share some things with you, some stats, but also some experiences. And the first thing is that in certain places in all of our lives, we experience imposter syndrome. I'm not good enough. Why am I here? Why did someone else not get this? Oh my goodness, will everyone eventually turn on the lights and see that I'm not the real deal? I've had imposter syndrome in many areas of my life. You know, as a kid on the sports field, I wasn't a great athlete. Stepping into my first job, you know, I was serving ice cream. Next job was fixing motorbikes. I know nothing about ice cream. I have no idea about cars or motorbikes. But I stepped in anyway, you know, drumming, you know, and I was competing on the world stage. Even after winning a world solo drumming title as a juvenile, I still had imposter syndrome around. Can I even play drums? And that lasted for a long time. Some people let it really smother them, hold them back. They sit in indecision, they don't step up to the plate and perform. It's so much so that they sit back and they hide. Others step forward anyway with that imposter syndrome. You know, I've sat down with many incredible leaders. You know, I sat down with a head of state at one point and after it, the first thing he said was, was that okay. So after we sat down and did an interview, he wanted to know, was it okay? Was it what I wanted? I hear that from top performing athletes. I hear that from professional speakers. Hey, did that land? You know, it's a sense of humility, but it's also a sense of, hey, was I okay today? I think having some level of imposter syndrome and being aware of it is actually a very normal function of being a human. I want to share some stats with you. I wrote these down earlier. So 30% of male and female executives experience imposter syndrome, and that's according to a study by Pecon. So if you think about it, 30% of people who are the leaders around us, maybe that's you, if you're listening or watching right now, they have some level of imposter syndrome. I was recently, over the last month or so, I met with an incredible female leader who's running a construction company. She came over to me after an event I was speaking at and said, hey, how does a female leader in the construction industry step into this and do this and get the respect that I should get? Underneath it all, there was a lot of imposter syndrome. And that is so, so normal. But it is something we can work on. Another little stat I wrote down. About 57% of Master's level counseling students reported experiencing imposter syndrome syndrome symptoms. So people who are at master's level in counseling, over half of them are experiencing, should I be doing this? Can I work with clients? You know, that's so normal. I remember when I first started, you know, drumming and teaching students. I was probably 14 when I started teaching, and I thought, what am I doing? How can I do this? Who am I to think? I'm a teacher, I'm a kid, but I just won, you know, two world solo titles, so I was capable of teaching someone. I was a couple of steps ahead of someone, you know, I remember, you know, in my career as well, stepping into my first coaching role where I was coaching leaders. Man, I was sweating with nerves, like, who am I to be doing this? That's very normal. And a sense of like, there's awareness there. Another we start for you. 70 44% of working mothers experience imposter syndrome. According to the Maven Clinic, 74% of working mothers experience imposter syndrome. Isn't it incredible just how many of us are walking around carrying is so many of us are. What do we do about it? How do we move forward if it is holding us back? How do we move forward and just let it come with us? Well, to me, there's a couple of things. One, you've got to get clear on who you are, not who you are not. Once you're abundantly clear on who you're not, it's much easier to discover who you are. So who are you not? Well, maybe you're not arrogant. Maybe you're not an athlete. Maybe you're not in a certain industry. Maybe you're not the CEO. Maybe you're not the person that stands for gender bias or sexism or racism. Find out what you're not. Maybe you're not the person that's going to be walked all over. Maybe you're not the yes person. By doing that by default, you actually then discover who you are. I'm this person. I stand for this. This is what I value. That's very clear. You've also got to get clear on, this is what I do professionally. This is what I'm all about, what I'm good at. You don't have to be perfect at it. As I've said before, perfection. If somebody says I'm a perfectionist, I'll say, okay, great, you've got no standards. What I mean by that is perfection isn't measurable. You know, I might come into a building and say, this building is perfect. Another person might come in and go, look, it's a great building. I can agree with you on that. But look at that, there's a flaw over there. I don't like how they did this. We can't measure perfection. So perfectionists, I would say, will struggle a lot with imposter syndrome. But if you can change it to good or great, I'm going to be great at leading my team. I'm going to be really good as a parent. I'm going to be a great coach, whatever it might be. Then all of a sudden you can measure it and you can actually grow towards it and even be it. That's the first thing. Get clear on what you're not. Get clear on what you are and what you stand for. Next thing is we all believe our own bs. That's right, our belief systems. Our BS sits right at the back of our subconscious mind. It sits there. You know, I was delivering a keynote just two days ago and I was asking people what they first thought of when they thought of an Irish person. And it's interesting. No matter what room I ask this in, Guinness comes up, St Patrick's Day, leprechauns, fiddle Dee Dee, potatoes, all those things come up, right? It doesn't matter where I speak in the world, those things come up. That's a belief system. So what I'm going to challenge you with, if you've got a level of imposter syndrome anywhere in your career or your life, is what beliefs are underneath the hood. I'm not good enough. I'm too young. I didn't get that qualification, so why should I get the role? I'm not a great speaker, so why would people listen to my mating? Whether it's a monthly meeting or you're standing on stage at an agm, figure out what the little self talk things are, those little doubtful moments and what we've got to do now. Is rewire those. Rewire your BS so that your belief systems set you up for success. I deserve to be here. I am safe. I am qualified. I am open to being wrong. I am learning. I am growing in the direction I want to. Those are all different beliefs that I just said. You find one that works for you, but it's about saying it regularly. It's about writing it down, it's about embodying it, actually feeling those beliefs. That's how we rewire beliefs. We say them over and over, we repeat them. They're almost mantras, but you're thinking them, you're saying them, you're writing them down, you're feeling them. That's how we start to become a different version of ourselves. That's how we suppress imposter syndrome. Not saying you're ever going to get rid of it. A healthy dose of imposter syndrome is maybe not a bad thing, but once it becomes.

Intoxicating, all encompassing, it's just too much. We end up holding ourselves back. Opportunities don't present themselves. When they do, we tend to flop. We want to suppress it or diminish it to a level where we feel in control. So we've got to get clear on who we are not and who we are. And we've got to rewire our belief systems to really support us with stepping into being a better leader, a better partner, a better parent, a better, whatever it might be, athlete. Your beliefs dictate your behaviors. I'm going to just repeat that. Your beliefs dictate your behaviors, and your behaviors are what dictate your future. If you're behaving in a negative way, low energy way, a doubtful way, of course that's going to be creating a future that reflects that. So your belief system is where it starts. Your beliefs are going to shape thoughts, thoughts shape behaviors, and behaviors dictate your future. So I'm going to just leave you with that. But I want you to think about those stats that I shared. You're in great company. There's lots of others who experience imposter syndrome. No matter who I've sat down with, 95 plus percent of them always say, was I okay today? Was that good enough? Is that what you wanted? It's an incredible sign that imposter syndrome is here with us. It's going to stay with us, but it's up to us to diminish it to a point where we can step up and grow and learn and be our best selves. So I hope you enjoyed today's show. We've got an amazing guest coming up very soon, so please stay tuned. And for those of you that I am seeing as I go around to different events, I love it when you come and say hello. I was speaking at an event just yesterday and a gentleman who runs a large car sales company come up and said, hey, I was literally just listening to your podcast on the way to this event. At the same event yesterday, someone come up and said my colleague couldn't be here and then they found out it was you and they realized you're the guy that they listen to the podcast every week. I love hearing stuff like that. Why? Because the reason I started the show was to try and help one listener connect with a great voice, a great guest that I bring on that it might help them in one area of their life. So please continue to follow along and if you want, if you feel obliged to do so, please share it with a friend. I always appreciate that. But for now, get out there and lead your life on purpose.

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