Why Most People Never Discover Their True Purpose (And How You Can)

Doctor Gary Sanchez, I came across your work. I thought we need to connect.

What is why all about.

Knowing your why is super valuable. The first step in peak performance is self awareness. Many people have a sense of what their why is. I was making a lot of money and I could have just wrote it out. I have a great what, but I don't know my why. I hate to even say that. I started throwing up and throwing up blood and blood was kind of coming out everywhere. End up in a pool of blood, passed out on the ground. Spent nine days in the icu.

He almost died and came out the other end.

What do I want to do with my life?

I don't think I've shared this ever on air.

First step in self awareness is knowing.

Dr. Gary Sanchez, also known as Dr. Y, is a renowned author and inventor. He has uncovered the elusive nine whys and developed the innovative why operating system, otherwise known as yos, and crafted a cutting edge discovery tool that enables you to uncover your why in just five minutes. I was fascinated by this. I did the discovery tool. It was amazing, very insightful, very simple. And then I got a chance to sit with him and debrief it and talk about it. I firmly believe that when we lead a life of purpose and understanding what our why is, we have better productivity, better relationships and absolutely better outcomes. So please sit back and enjoy the show. Welcome Dr. Gary Sanchez. Today's episode is made possible by our sponsor, NZ Mortgages. You can check them out at NZMortgages Co NZ. Dr. Gary Sanchez, a huge welcome to the Lead on Purpose podcast.

James, thanks for having me, man. This is going to be exciting. I've been looking forward to this.

Yeah, me too. Look, we geek out on some very similar things and one of those things is why I think it's the best question in the world. I've got a young little son, he's just turned eight. And I've said to him, please always continue to say why question things. Be curious, seek to understand. So when I came across your work, I thought, we need to connect. This is incredible. So what is why all about and why did you come across it?

Well, let me tell you a little bit of a backstory. So I was actually a dentist. I guess maybe if you were a dentist, you always are, but I was a dentist for 32 years and. And when I got out of dental school back in 1988, I hate to even say that, but when I got out of dental school in 1988, the advice that I was given from the gurus of that time was build a great product and people will come, right? Probably your listeners have all heard that, right? Go out and do the best job you can, and people are going to naturally and mysteriously find their way to your pract because you're doing such a great job. And So I spent 20 years reaching the highest levels you could go to in dentistry, studying with the best mentors, building a beautiful practice, buying all the technology, training a great team, and still found that I blended in with everybody else who said, yeah, I'm a dentist, too. And, man, that just drove me crazy. I'd never worked so hard at something and not gotten the results that I thought I would. My practice wasn't growing. And so that's when I was so frustrated, I went out and I hired a coach. I hired a guy by the name of John Assaraf. If you've ever seen the movie the Secret, he was in that. And through him, I learned how to do websites and drip campaigns and SEO, and I learned how to tell the world all about me. The only problem was, what am I going to say? What am I going to say that separates me from everyone who does what I do? And what am I going to say that doesn't make me sound bad or desperate or like I actually needed business? So since I didn't know what to say, I just stayed quiet. Until one day I heard him interview Simon Sinek. So, James, have you seen Simon Sinek's TED Talk?

I have, yes.

So I watched that Ted talk 20, 30 times. I read his book three, four times. I said, man, that is what I'm missing. I have a great what, but I don't know my why. And so I became obsessed with discovering my why. And I called Simon. I said, simon, I need you to help me discover my why. So he and I spent about eight months together going back through my life looking for clues as to why I do what I do. And when I finally figured it out that my why is to find a better way and then share it, that's when my life started to make sense to me. I have a lot of patents and products and inventions that are all better ways of doing things. And so in my practice, we stop talking about what we do. Crowns, bridges, fillings, complete gum care, all that stuff. And we started talking about why we do what we do and what we believe. We believe that life is better when you have great teeth. In fact, it's challenging to have a good life when you have bad teeth. And that's when my practice really took off. When the right people started coming, those that believed what we believed. And so, as my practice took off, I started getting calls from other dentists that said, hey, Gary, can you help me do what you did? So I went back and figured out what Simon was trying to do, and I made it better.

I love it. Yeah.

And so I could sit down with you, James, and in about an hour, I could help you discover your why and then build your messaging and marketing and branding, all based on your why. And I did this for thousands of people for free, all over the world, on stages, on Skype at the time, and in. You know, and you remember, I'm a dentist, so I have a lot of patients coming to me, and while they're sitting there getting numb, I'm going to help them discover their why. And as I did this so many thousands of times, I started to notice patterns and trends and similarities. And I figured out that there's only nine different whys. And that was the most important thing I discovered, because once I figured that out, we actually had an endpoint. We had a place to get to. Then I could teach other people how to do what I was doing. Then I could get more data. Then I was able to develop the algorithm, create the software that you took that find your why now as and your how and your what, and build your message for you in about eight minutes. And so that's a very quick kind of bringing everybody up to speed on how all this happened. But I was in search of my own why. When I found my why, I saw what it did for me, and I became obsessed with helping other people do the same thing, and that's how all of this really came about. So your why is why you do what you do everywhere you go, why you operate the way you operate not, you know, so often, James, when I'm speaking at events around the world, I'll say something like, you know, when you know your why, what you do has more impact. And somebody will say, yeah, yeah, you know, Gary, I agree with you. In fact, they know my why. I'll say, hey, great. What is your why? And they'll take out their phone and they'll show me pictures of their kids, say, oh, this is my why. This is. This is why I'm doing what I'm doing. Or they'll show me a picture of a little red dress or something and say, I got to get in this dress for a wedding in six months. So that's why I'm working out the way I'm working out what they're Talking about is very important, but that's a short term motivation for doing things the way they're doing it. When their kids grow up or the wedding passes, they lose their why. So what we're talking about is something even more profound, which is, why does James operate the way he does everywhere he goes? Why does he take action? So I love it.

That's so powerful. Gary. I want to jump in because a couple of questions. One, why is it important that we know our why? So we'll start with that one. Then I've got a follow on from that.

Well, when you know your why.

What.

You do has more impact. And what I mean by that is, you know, so often our parents maybe told us when we were growing up, james, go find your passion. Live your passion. Oh, thanks, mom, that's great. How do I do that? Well, I'm not sure, but just go find it. Right. Well, it's not very helpful to not know how to find it when you know your why. If what you choose to do with your life is in line with your why, you will love what you're doing. You will have passion for what you're doing. And passion is the fuel that gives you the energy to pursue your dreams with passion. You persevere. Without passion, you give up. And so when you know your why, it helps you find your passion, find your purpose, find your direction, figure out what your path is, figure out where you will have energy and where you won't. It'll help you understand what to say yes to and what to say no to. So it gives you so much direction, gives you the clarity, the confidence, the certainty to actually make decisions. What do I want to do with my life? Very hard question. Very important question, right? Very hard question. What do you want? Wow, that's hard. But when you know your why, again, if what you choose to do is in line with your why, you'll love what you do. And that's when life becomes fun.

Oh, I bet. And it's interesting. So I think about why. You know, are we born with one of the nine whys, or are there certain things that happen in our lives, in our environment, in our upbringing that shape us towards a why? Is there a point in time that 13, 19, 20, where the why comes to fruition? What's your thoughts on all that?

That's funny. So imagine, James, I want your audience to imagine that you're standing in front. You're on stage, you're standing in front of an audience of 5,000 people and somebody raises their hand and asks that Exact question. And no matter how you answer it, half of the room is going to be mad at you.

Hello.

How would you answer that question? Right. So I always answer it. Yes.

Because I don't know. I have what I believe, but I don't know. And it doesn't really matter where it comes from. All that matters is that you know what it is so that you can use it in your life. And so we can get into those kinds of conversations where half the room gets upset, but it really doesn't matter. You know, I believe you're born with it, but I can't prove it. There's really no way to prove it.

Right.

Is it God given or is it environmental? I can't prove it, but it doesn't really matter.

It's the more matters is that we find it and we use it. And yes.

Yeah, it's like gravity. Whether you believe in gravity or you don't believe in gravity, it still affects everything you do. If you know about gravity, then you can use it to your advantage. Same thing with your why.

That's incredible. It's honestly something that I've thought about, journaled on a lot, read about, sought input, mentorship, coaching on, because I do believe when we're intentional with what we do, our impact is so much better. And I think to be intentional, there has to be a purpose and a why driving what we're doing. So when I got a chance to do your assessment, I was like, this is amazing. I really, I'm blown away. So can we talk through my assessment? So my why? Give me three things. So give me my why, my how and my what. So my why was contribute. So if we could start with that. I mean, when I seen the word contribute, I was like, wow, this really resonates because I love humans, I love talking to people, I love asking questions, I love connecting people and introducing them. And hey, you guys would do great work together. Go and do your thing. I used to teach drums for the first kind of 20 years of my life and seeing these kids become world champions that give me so much joy. So this contribute thing definitely really resonated. I love to quietly do stuff for charities in the background and just kind of contribute where I can. So when you've seen that come up on my assessment, what comes to mind now for you? How will I be living my life or how can I live into that why of contribute?

Great question. So the why is to contribute to a greater cause, add value, have an impact in the lives of others. And so people with this why James, with your why they want to help.

They don't have to necessarily be the focus, but they want to contribute in a meaningful way. They use their time, their money, their energy, their connections to push other people forward. They're often the glue that holds everyone else together. And like I mentioned, often they feel like they should be in the background helping others do better. But if you put somebody with the why of contribute in a leadership role, they do extremely well because they're all about making other people better. And so the most successful person I've ever worked with, both financially as well as relationship wise, was a CEO of a company called T Rowe Price. And he had. He took it from 12 billion to 565 billion. And I said, his name is Todd. I probably shouldn't give you his last name, but his name is Todd. And then I said, todd, why do you feel like you've had so much success? Because he has the why I've contributed. And he said, well, I believe the secret to my success is that I personally interviewed everyone that works for me before they started, and I have over 6,000 employees. He said, I know something about every one of them, and when I can help each one of them do just a little bit better, that's when we all do better. And that's what somebody with the why of contribute would do. That's what you would do, right, James?

I love helping others. I love connecting people. I get a kick from it. Yeah, it's amazing to do that. And honestly, that's why I run the podcast. I want to learn, and I want to not just keep it to myself behind a closed door. It's like, this has been free for all listeners for four years, and we have the best guests on the planet and they share gold nuggets. I get a kick from a random person emailing my team or me going, james, that guest you had on, my God, that changed my life. That changed my day. I love it. That's, you know, there's no money in that, but there's joy.

So let's add to that. Knowing your why is super valuable, but it's only the first step. You know, I believe that when you know your why, you're only really one third of the way there.

Once you know your why, you get to see yourself in one dimension. You go from not knowing to knowing, from unaware to aware. But when you add your how, how you bring your why to life. You get to see yourself in two dimensions. And then when you add your what, why, how, and what, what we call your YOS or your Y operating system. That's when you get to see yourself in three dimensions. And that's when things become even more clear so that you can move forward faster, have a bigger impact when you know all three. And so can we. Is it possible for me to share my screen?

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Let me do anybody that's listening on audio, we will step you through it visually. But for those on YouTube, on video, you can watch the full thing.

Okay, so we're going to bring up right now, are you able to see where it says simple yos?

Absolutely.

Okay, this is your simple yos. And so what I would normally do in taking somebody through this is just have you read it out loud. So where it's a simple yos. Just read that out loud.

Yep. So why I believe that success happens when I contribute to a greater cause.

Keep going.

My how, how I do that is by making things simple and easy to use. Ultimately, what I bring is a right way to get predictable results.

And how does that feel to you?

I feel very, very strongly aligned with that. Like high performance leadership is what I geek out on. I talk about, I think about, I train on. Like it's all about how do we simplify? And I love this kind of mantra of simplify, simplify, simplify. I was on stage yesterday and I probably said it six times, simplify, simplify, simplify. I love simplifying things because complexity kills execution. So I really felt in alignment and the what ultimately what I bring is a right way to get predictable results. So I've got a framework and the framework doesn't change based on a person's background, age, gender. It's like this thing works if you work the plan. So yeah, I really actually felt strongly in alignment and even as a parent as well, it really kind of connected.

So let's dive a little bit deeper into this.

We already talked about your why of contribute, right? Wanting to have an impact in the lives of others, wanting to help other people do better. Using your time, money, energy, connections to push other people forward. How you do that is by taking complex things, simplifying them, decreasing the complexity, breaking them down to 1, 2, 3 steps, making them doable, usable, possible. Ultimately what you bring though is the structure, the process, the systems around making things predictable, making them doable. Because you lay it out in a step by step format where follow this, you'll get results. Does that feel right?

100%.

So when you meet somebody for the first time, you and I jump on a call, a zoom call together, what we all do is we create a narrative around who we think we're talking to. We look at hairstyle, earrings, jewelry, facial hair, what they're wearing, what's in the background, glasses, and we create a narrative around what we think we see. And then that's who they are to us and that's how we treat them. And so we don't really know who they are, but if you know their yos, it'll strip away all the things that you think you see and bring forward what's really there. So what this tells us, James, is that if I had an idea that I wanted to propose to you, I better show you, and I wanted to get your buy in. I better show you how it's going to help us have a bigger impact. I better show you how it's simple and easy to use. And I better show you how there's structure and process behind making it predictable. You're not going to want it, right?

100%. I'm listening. If you want to talk about that, then I'm all ears. But when someone comes to me, they don't know what they're talking about. It's very complex or doesn't make any difference to really anyone. It's just about making money. I'm kind of like, cool. That won't work for me. I'm not interested.

So I now know exactly what words you need to hear in order to feel heard, understood, and make a decision. And if I don't use those words, you're going to do what you just said? Yeah, I understand what you're saying, but I don't think you understand me. I don't think you get me. I'm not that interested.

Yeah.

Does that feel right?

Definitely. That person will get stuck at my gatekeeper, my EA and wouldn't get past.

So what I haven't shared with you is that your yos actually goes nine levels deep.

So where you see the full yos on the screen. So for those of you that can't see it, the yos discovery, which is the software that James took to find his why, how and what actually goes a lot deeper. It goes all nine levels. So there's nine different whys. All of us have all of them. One of them is more dominant than the rest and that's the one that becomes your why. Second most dominant is your how, and third is your what. But there's still the other six left. And so what this tells us is James's top three were contribute, simplify, right way, which is what we went through his why, how and what his next three are. Trust, challenge, and make sense. So what that tells us is those three are also important to James, but maybe not quite as important. He wants things to be to create better relationships. He wants it to be different and it has to make sense. What's not so important to James is that it's better because if it contributes, it's simple and it has structure to it, it's going to be better. So he's not worried about that. He doesn't have to be clear on every single step and he doesn't have to know all the details before he's ready to begin. He can figure it out on the way. Does that feel right?

Honestly, it's brilliant. So, like in the process right now of writing a book, and by no means do I have all the answers do I know what's going on. But I start anyway, give it a crack, get going, you know.

So I.

Know when we have a meeting what I need to talk about. I know what I don't need to talk about. I know what's important to you. I know what words you need to hear. I know what you have to hear in order to make a decision and move forward. I know your decision making process. And all of that gets uncovered in about eight minutes, because it takes about eight minutes to discover your why, your how, and your what. And so I don't meet with anybody, James, on, you know, in person or on Zoom or anywhere unless I know their yos, because what are we going to talk about? What are we gonna, you know, we're gonna talk about the weather or sports teams or kids or whatever. We're not gonna, like, get down to the essence of why we're on the call. But once I know somebody's yos, then the conversation, all the kind of extra stuff slips away and we can get down to having a real conversation. How can I really help you? How can I help you move forward? I know you want to have a bigger impact. I know we want to keep this simple. I know you need structure around it. What's the best way for us to work together? All those kinds of things become very, very easy. Now, if I was coaching you, so if there are coaches that are listening to this, if you knew this about or know this about your client or prospect, you can design the programs that you work with them, that you create for them so that they will love them, so they will follow it, so they will appreciate it. That's what you can do very quickly when you know somebody's yos. Does that make sense, James?

Oh, it really does. And thank you for sharing that on the screen. For those that have been checking it out, it's really powerful. What I'm going to do as well is just ask the team to put in the show notes a link so that people can click through and actually do their own. Because it's one thing them experiencing mine, but I'm not them, so I'd love them to do that. So I'm going to put that in the show notes for them to go and do their own. And I'm just thinking I like to always look at on field and off field. So I believe high performance is about consistently exceeding norms whilst maintaining healthy relationships and wellbeing. So, yeah, we want to win at work and we want to make the sales. I get that 100%. But also we need to have health in the form of relationships and wellbeing. So let's talk about an intimate partner or a child, someone you know, maybe an adult child that you have knowing their yos. How would that impact the quality of those relationships?

Yeah, great question, great question.

You know, when we're talking about high performance. So I believe that.

The first step in peak performance is self awareness, self awareness. And the first step in self awareness is knowing your why. And so there are a lot of great tools and assessments out there on the market. Myers, Briggs, Colby, Strain finders, disc. We go on and on and on and those are really good and we like them and we use them. Those are how you take action, not why you take action. And so knowing your why in this case yos is the first step in you figuring out you. And so once you know you, then the people around you, your spouse, kids, like you said, people you work with, best friends. So often, you know, we were just talking about the narrative that you create around who they are, your spouse. Half the time, you know, most people don't know why their spouse does what they do. They have. Doesn't make any sense to me. Like, why would you come up with that? Why would you have, you know, all those things that go through our head with our kids. If you know their yos, you can then communicate to with them using the platinum rule. So let's talk about this for a minute. Everybody knows what the golden rule is, right? Treat others the way you want to be treated. But what if I don't want to be treated the way you want to be treated? And the odds are I don't want to be treated the way you do.

Then it's not that valuable. So that's when you use the platinum rule, which is treat others the way they want to be treated.

Makes more sense.

Makes more sense. And that's how you do that, using their yos, because you know the language they speak. So you can speak to your significant other, you can speak to your kids or with your kids and use the language that will resonate with them so they feel heard, they feel valued, they feel loved, they feel connected to. It helps you to make better connections faster when you use the yos. So if you have kids, would it be valuable.

For a teenage girl to know that she has a gift and what it is before she starts to date, before she picks a career, before she picks a spouse, before she goes off to school?

Right.

What kind of decisions might they make or not make if they know, that's huge. Huge. And so the earlier you can help them discover their yoshi, the earlier you can help them figure out what direction they want to go, the earlier you can help them get there. The longer the Runway they're going to have, the more of an impact they can have.

That's really powerful. And I see this as almost another way of thinking of it as a tool for empathy. And the reason I look at this is because as AI grows, we had an amazing guy, Mo Godat, on the show. So he's the former chief business officer at Google, one of the architects of AI, and he left. He left. He resigned for ethical reasons. So we're talking about AI and as it's building and growing and as the world's becoming kind of less connected socially, so what is going to be the superpower that we need to embody? And he said, james, there's one thing, and that is human connection. He said, as AI grows, the gold is going to be human connection. I see your tool as a way for us to connect way deeper and develop empathy. It's really funny. I'm going to grab my journal, and I don't think I've shared this ever on air, but I wrote this a number of years ago.

Where are we?

I'll give you the exact words.

There we go. Myself and my brand exist to help great humans become the greatest. And I wrote that many years before I did UI os.

Yes.

But I wrote down, that's my North Star. That's why I do what I do. You know, myself, my brand exist to help great humans become the greatest. And it's like when I seen that contribute come up, I was like, you're. You've been inside my mind. You've been in my journal.

Well, most, not most, many people have a sense of what their why is, but having a sense of kind of knowing, sort of knowing, maybe knowing, I think I know doesn't have a lot of power to it. Knowing has a lot of power to it, and that's what's critical. So if you're somebody listening and you think you know your why and you want to verify it, man, this is perfect. A perfect tool for you to do that. If you don't have any idea what your why is, perfect tool for you to do that. But a lot of people kind of have a sense and interestingly, typically they're not. Their why is actually their what they think their why is is actually their how.

Right?

This is how I'm, you know, doing it. And so they. But once it all becomes clear, the confidence, the certainty.

Really makes a difference in being able to make decisions, move forward faster and in the right direction.

It makes sense. It takes me back to a decision. So I've got my own decision making filter, which kind of makes me giggle because it's like, simplify. I've got the simple little matrix, right? And then it helps me make the right decision so I can sleep better. It's my what the right way. So I remember sitting in South Africa at Cape Town and this amazing opportunity came up to host, be the host, the emcee for a charity event in London at the Spotify headquarters. So it's ticking all these boxes, like you know, run a podcast, getting to Spotify headquarters. That'd be cool, helping this charity and this amazing human who's a professional athlete do their thing. Great. But I said, look, it's a yes in principle. I just need to go and check my other commitments. So I went and checked my calendar. This event was the same day as my child's first ever school play. And Finn is so into acting and dancing and singing. This was a big deal. So I thought, okay, big opportunity for school play. Let's get my decision making filter out. And so I got it out and went through and it was very simple, very quick. And I made the right decision. And it was difficult to let one party down, but it was delightful to say to my son, I can't wait to see you at your play. So these contribute simplify in right way. My why, my how, my what. Honestly, it really does resonate. So it's a powerful tool. Yeah.

Really helps you to figure out what lane to be in. If it doesn't meet that criteria, it, you know, you can do it, but you're not going to have the same level of energy and passion for it, and it's just not going to feel quite right. What also is great utilizing the yos is building your team. So as good as we are around ourselves, all of us, having the right team around you makes things even better. Right? And so when you look at what you need somebody to do, there's a big difference, James, between being able to do something and loving to do it. Right? And so if you can surround yourself with people that love doing what you have them doing, that's how you build an inspired team. That's how you can move mountains. That's how you can create a small, really high performing team where you put the right person in the right place, where you know they're going to love what they do.

And we can figure that out through their yos by going, hey, what is it? That is their zone of genius. And get them to do this. See, that's amazing.

Very, very easily, very, very. What you do is you just create a matrix that has, you know, who they are, what they do, and then what's their why, how and what. And you can very quickly see, is this going to be the right person or is it currently the right person that I have in that spot to do what I have them doing? And if not, doesn't mean you have to get rid of them. It just means let's put them in a place where they're going to love what they do. So every day is fun for them, too. What's interesting.

Sorry to interrupt, but I was just thinking about the CEO that comes to me going, I'm not sure if I've got the right people on the right seat on the bus. And I'm cool. Well, how do you figure out which is the right seat? What you're saying to me is actually this is a very simple tool to figure out who's on the seats. Are they the right seats and do we need to move them?

Exactly. It simplifies the process and gives them. So here, I'm going to use your yos. Watch this. So it'll help them have a bigger impact. It'll help you, James, have a bigger impact by simplifying this process and giving them the structure to be able to make the right decisions to put the right people in the right seats so they can build a consistent company that everybody loves what they're doing.

That's brilliant. And if that. If you were a consultant and came and said that to me, I'd be like, you're hired let's go.

Exactly.

That's.

If you're in sales, you're going to love this because it just gives you the insight instantly into who am I talking to, what is important to them, and how can I communicate to them in a way where they feel heard, they feel special, they feel like you get them because you do. And that's the power. And that's why I really don't like to meet with anybody unless I know their yoshi, because the conversation ends up being very surfacey.

That's so, so important to hear. And you know what's interesting? I love meeting new people and interviewing them and sharing their message. But I'm just thinking, imagine if every person that I sat in front of did their yos and sent it to me before we met. The conversations could go even deeper. So I'm already brainstorming here, thinking how we could implement this with our podcast guests.

Yes. I think you'll find it fascinating if you make it a, you know, this is how we do it, and you have that information. You would know what questions to ask. So my why, by the way, my, as we talked about, is to find a better way and share it. How I do that is by making things clear and understandable, first for myself and then for others. But ultimately, what I bring is a simple solution. So for me, it has to be better, has to be clear, and it has to be simple or I don't want it.

Yeah, makes sense.

And so if. If you were. If you knew that now about me and you were, let's say, a financial advisor, and you wanted to work with me, you wanted me as your client, I was now a prospect, and you wanted to show me how smart you were. You're maybe a newer financial advisor, so you kind of want to go a little bit overboard. So you send me page after page after page of stuff, 30 pages of stuff showing your expertise in this area, how do you think that's going to work for me when my what is simplify.

You're going to switch off right away, right away.

I mean, this guy doesn't get me. I don't want this. I'm not going to look at it. I wouldn't. I couldn't stand to work with that guy because he would drive me crazy.

But if you knew it and you said, hey, Gary, I know your what, and here's what's really cool about it. You don't have to be sneaky. You just say it, hey, Gary, I know your what is simplify. So, like, what does that mean to you do you want three bullet points? Do you want one page? Do you want three pages? Do you want. What do you want? That'll be simple for you. I want three bullet points. Okay, you give me three bullet points. So it's not to use deceptively, it's to use authentically.

Because now that I know your yos, I can talk to you about all those things and ask you, what does contribute mean for you? Like, what would, what would make you feel like you're having the biggest impact? What would give you that high of man? I made a difference for those people. What does it mean to you to simplify things? Like, what's the level of simplification that you like to get to? And then what does right way mean to you? Like, is this like a manual? Is this just like three steps? Tell me what it means to you. So now I know exactly what it is you're looking for in the way that it you think. But it makes given us a language to uncover it very fast. I, I wouldn't. How long would you and I have to connect or meet or have dinners or have coffee or whatever it is for me to know this about you?

This could take, if ever, yes, 100. And it's, it's interesting, that whole simplify thing. I love Apple products. Why? Because they're so simple for me to use. I don't know if they're simple for everyone, but they are for me. And so I'm a raving fan of Apple. And everything I use, whether it's a phone or a laptop or an iPad, it's Apple. It all integrates. It's all very simple. And I think it's the right way of doing things. I think it's like I'm an Apple fanatic. So again, that kind of underpins a lot of my thinking and reasoning. When I look at the Yoshi, it's very, very powerful. Where do you want to take it? Why are you taking it to the world? What's the impact that you're trying to make?

Well, James, this is not something I set out to do, wanted to do, ever thought I would do. I was trying to figure it out for myself. And when I did, I saw the impact it had for me. And then when I started helping other people see a better way, I became obsessed with showing people a better way for them to know themselves. And as I kept making it better, it became more and more valuable. And so if you remember, I was a dentist and my practice was doing very, very well, and I was working three Days a week. I had four day weekends every week. I was making a lot of money and I could have just wrote it out. But actually what happened was I went to this event in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I live in Albuquerque and there's an event called Zozobra in Santa Fe. It's kind of like a Burning man thing, but it's not like a, you know, drug infested thing. It's just a one night thing where they burn this real big statue kind of thing. But it was a buddy's birthday party and you know, we kind of ate and drank a little too much. I woke up with a headache the next morning and took a couple Advil, went back to bed. Well, one of those Advil didn't dissolve and it lodged in my GI tract and it burnt a hole right where there was an artery. And I didn't know it, just started feeling crummy and drove home about an hour away actually. Went and worked out, got home and I just wasn't feeling very good. And then I started throwing up and throwing up blood and blood was kind of coming out everywhere. Went to the hospital, they made me wait so long that my blood pressure was 60 over 30 when they, when they admitted me and lost half my blood and anyways, get up to go to the restroom and lock my, lock the door behind me because I wasn't in a private room and I pass out, hit my head on the sink, end up in a pool of blood, passed out on the, in the ground. Luckily I woke up, pushed the door open.

Somebody found me, revived me, that whole thing. Ended up going to surgery, trying to stop it. Couldn't do it, couldn't get to it. They did a CAT scan to see if I had stopped bleeding. Blew out my arm, arm fills up with blood clots. So I got blood clots in my arm, growing into my lungs and bleeding in my GI tract. Doctor says, you know, if we stop, try, we need to stop the blood clots because you're, if they get into your lungs, you're going to die. But if we try to stop the blood clots, we can't stop the bleeding because we can't get to the bleeding. And so it was a crazy time. Spent nine days in the icu. Obviously I survived. I had to go to bed one evening with an IV of heparin to stop the blood clots and it didn't make the bleeding worse. But when I got out of the hospital and I went back to my practice.

One of my patients who was in his mid-80s took me aside and he said, hey, Gary, you got a second chance on life. And he said, when you get to be my age and you look back on your time here, are you going to be glad you stayed a dentist or are you going to wish you'd taken this why thing to the world? I said, I'm going to wish that I'd taken this why thing to the world. And he said, well, then you know what you need to do. And so then I sold my practice and I walked away.

Well done.

Takes courage. Does knowing your why, how and what make your life easier? Maybe, but it might make it more challenging, but it'll sure make it more meaningful. And so that's what we want.

Right. Leading a life of purpose is about meaning and being attached to that.

Exactly. Living a life, you know, living your life on purpose is so much more rewarding than living your life because you didn't make a decision or because it's what you think you should do or what somebody told you you should do, or because you've invested so much into it. And was it scary to walk away? Yes. Did I know anything at all about what I'm doing now? Not a thing. Did I make a lot of mistakes? Yes. Did I waste a lot of money? Yes. Has it been a joy and so much fun and I have unlimited energy for it?

Yes.

So it's come a long way from those days back then, but I can tell you I had plenty of.

Rough days at the beginning all the way along, but it was so much fun.

I love that those are the times that you remember, of course, and you went through a lot, like you almost died and you come out the other end and you actually took charge. I've had a friend whose father had a major illness and looked like he was going to die and he got through, got through the other end and was given a second life, essentially. And instead of doing what you did, he turned to alcohol, self pity and ended up dying several years later because of this new lifestyle that he had adopted. So I think that we've got an option to go, hey, we have junctures in our lives to make decisions, but I think having a yos before we make a decision on those junctures, man, oh man, that's going to send us in a really positive direction that we're aligned with. It's massive. So if somebody wants to connect with you, what's the best way for them to connect in?

So the best way would be, well, you could definitely find me on LinkedIn. Feel free to Reach out and, you know, let me know that you came from James Laughlin's podcast, and I'll definitely reach back out to you. If you go to yinstitute.com, why institute.com you can see the YOS discovery there. It's not free, but it's only $97, and it's not expensive, but it is invaluable. It will answer all those questions. You know, we kid, James, that 100 million people have seen Simon Sinek's TED talk now, but maybe only 100 have ever been able to figure out what their why is. And so this will allow you to take that concept and make it useful in your life, apply it to you. And so if there's one message, James, that I want to leave everybody with, it would be make the decision to figure out who you are. Whatever way you do that, whether that's using the yos, whether that's coaching, consulting, therapy, going into the mountains, doing whatever it is, figure out who you are, because that's how you'll be able to live your life. On purpose.

I love it. Now, Gary, I want to say you're the first guest in over hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of guests. First one and only one to actually write at the end. Tell me the answer to the question I haven't even asked you. So you have just answered it in perfection. I think we're so aligned around purpose and why. So the question I always ask is this. And you're going to laugh because you've literally just answered it. The one question that's always asked is, if we were to fast forward many, many years into the future, and you were highly aware that it was your last day here on Earth, and someone very young who you cared so much about and loved, they came into the room and they said, gary, how do I lead my life? On purpose? What would you say to them? And I feel like you just answered it.

Yeah, exactly. Can I add something to that? Because I interviewed somebody today, and I asked this question that I really want to share the answer to, because hit home. And one of the last questions I always ask is, what's the best piece of advice you've ever been given? And the lady that I had on said, well, I actually asked that to one of my mentors when he was on his deathbed. Very successful man.

Didn't last much longer than this question. And I said, if you could go back and live your life again, what would you do differently? And he said, three things. I would take risks. Sooner I would dive in deeper. And I would think I would change my relationship with Fear.

Very powerful.

And when I, when she said that, I was like, I'm writing that down. I'm stealing that. I'm using that. Because that was. I would. I agree. Even at the, you know, the age I'm at now, I would have taken more risks sooner.

I agree.

I would have dive in deeper and change your relationship with fear. And what, what she meant by that is, you know, fear is that. That thing that holds you back, but if you avoid it, you don't grow. If you go through it on that other side is what you're really looking for.

100%. Absolutely. Beautifully put. And thanks for sharing that as well. A bit of an excerpt. I'll make sure that our team actually put a link in the show notes to your LinkedIn, to your site, to your podcast as well, so people can go through and check and just want to say a massive thank you, Gary. It's been a pleasure and I think it's the first of many conversations.

Yes. Thank you for having me today, James. Appreciate it.

Honor, absolute honor. Today's episode is made possible by our sponsor, NZ Mortgages. You can check them out at nzmortgages.co nz.