The Science Behind Planning, Morning Rituals, and Eliminating Stress with Sharran Srivatsaa

Hey guys, Jared Goetz here and welcome to The Modern Soul. In today's episode, I'm interviewing someone who came over here from India, played professional tennis, and then went on to exit 5 companies. His name is Shiran Srivatsa, and more than his accomplishments, I really admire his mindset and the tools that he uses to figure out what his days look like and how he stays on task day after day after day This guy has been waking up at 4:45 AM for 6 years straight. He runs a club called The 5 AM Club where he has 6,000 guests get on every morning for 5 minutes to start their day off right. Aside from that, we get into some really incredible topics. We talk about how we live in an age of more information than ever, so sometimes we don't know what's causing us to feel stress and anxiety. I like to call it ambient anxiety. It's a feeling that you have and you don't know where it's coming from. We talk about how we tap into that and we talk about how to stay consistent. So guys, if you think that this will benefit you, stay tuned. This is a really, really good one. Anything we're referencing, any of the resources, books, or tools will be posted below and on my website JaredGoetz.com. So stay tuned and enjoy and let me know what you think. My good friend Shiran Srivatsa How are you doing today, my friend?

Yeah, I'm so, I'm so happy to be here. I'm excited for the podcast and just want to share some value, man.

Hell yeah. And, you know, I think you said your day has been like mine. We've been on, you know, Mondays. Yeah, I try to, I try to keep my days pretty scheduled, like from 12 to 4, quality work. I think life's about balance, but Mondays I have no balance. What do you, what are your Mondays like?

Uh, mine are very similar. They're actually by design. And so Earlier this year, Jared, I— one, my coach and I worked on this idea of actually stacking the week. It's a really powerful concept where we— I, I rest well on the weekends, and so I have a very— my Mondays are my busiest days, so I stack them really hard. So my Mondays are my busiest, so my Mondays and Tuesdays are my busiest. Wednesdays get a little better, and Thursdays are— I do a lot of, um, you know, kind of creative content creation on Thursdays. And generally I call Fridays my buffer days. Fridays are off, no bookings on my calendar. So I use Fridays as creative days, buffer days to think. I almost feel like I need that day just to recapture, rethink, rebuild. That way I almost feel like I have a break Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and I can come back hard. But noon on Wednesday, I've probably accomplished everything that the week has to deliver.

It's funny, I design my weeks very similarly, like the weekends You know, Saturday I'm doing nothing. I'm spending time with my fiancée, with the dogs. I'm laying on the couch and doing all the stuff that I don't normally do. Sundays I'll play golf and get organized, but Monday is crazy like that. And then it kind of tailors off. But, Charon, you're always extremely intentional with everything that you do. I mean, I've known you for probably about 6 to 8 months now, maybe a little bit more. We've spoken a bunch of times. You've given me some really solid advice in my life. And you've had some incredible accomplishments yourself which I think being so intentional has allowed you to achieve what you have. So you're originally from India, right? And you were a pro tennis player?

Yeah. So the story, well, it's kind of, it's one of those, you're a good golfer. It's one of those never was, has been type stories. And the reason is my father, when I was growing up as a kid, in India, it's very— I was born in India, and when you're growing up as a kid, you don't really talk about a few of these things, and I didn't know what that meant. For example, I was— I'm colorblind, I'm tone deaf. Well, it doesn't matter what that is, you get kicked out of art class and music class, kind of weird. And then I'm dyslexic, I have ADD, ADHD, so I can't read. Properly, and I can't do math. So if you think about it, I can't read, I can't do math, I get kicked out of music, kicked out of art, and I was the smallest kid growing up. I didn't hit my— I'm 6 feet tall now, but I didn't hit my growth spurt until high school.

So you were destined to be a failure, dude.

Like, I was the runt. Like, I was the little piglet, right? And the interesting part is when all those things come together, one thing happens, and you said you get— you're the perfect candidate to get bullied. Because it's super easy to pick on you, right? Like, everybody— you can't hang out with the jocks, you can't hang out with the intellectuals, you can't hang out with the artists, like, you can't hang out with anybody, right? So, uh, I, I remember this story, and you'll appreciate this. There was a— from classroom to classroom, I remember going to this classroom, and I probably had to walk maybe 50 feet to go to the next classroom between classes in middle school, and I ran almost a third of the mile around campus to get to the other classroom because the lockers were in between and I would get beaten, right? And so I was like, I had much— so I had me and my backpack and I would just run. And my father realized this pretty quickly. He realized that something was wrong. I didn't have the courage to tell him that. I, I didn't know any different, uh, and I didn't have the courage to tell him. One, I remember this was my 11th birthday, I think. We're sitting on a park bench and my dad said to me, he goes, "Hey, I think that there's probably a better place for you to grow and flourish in your talents." And I'm 11 years old, right? And he goes, "I've really been thinking about, you know, maybe we can get you to Australia or to the UK or to the US." And I'm like, "You're— I'm 11, you're kicking me out of the house? Like, this is crazy." And I think my dad, who had never left India, had learned early on that something was wrong, and he felt the need to say, all right, structurally the system is not okay for my son. And Jared, I am not joking, we were sitting in front of two tennis courts. My dad said to me, he goes, we just need a skill, we need a capability to allow you to kind of launch out of here, to give you kind of the— your proverbial passport. And he looks at it, he goes, do you think you can cut it? I'm like, cut tennis? I've never hit a tennis ball in my life. And he says, well, it's an individual sport, you can still win, you're young enough to learn, you have decent hand-eye coordination for now, and whether it be you being the smallest kid doesn't matter because otherwise you play soccer, football, whatever, you being small matters. So that was the day we made academics secondary and made tennis primary in my family. So it was just— I was the only child, and so it was almost like a family accountability, a family goal of getting me to being good enough to leave the country either on a scholarship or whatever. And so, that was the entire story of like learning tennis as a means to an end to get out of India.

So, your family was kind of like, "Sharan, you know, you can't read, you're not good at math, we got to figure out something for you," and you decided on tennis. And like, how did you then just decide, "Okay, I'm going to get good at tennis"? Did you start practicing? Did you get a coach? Like, How did you get good at tennis?

Yeah, totally. Great question. So, literally, we signed up for lessons every day. And so, my dad's, one of my dad's friend was a personal trainer. So, he, my dad and I worked out together every morning. And so, I remember this and, you know, I was never an early riser or anything. There were times when my dad would literally pour like water on my face at 5 AM and saying, get up, we need to go. Like he said, this is what we promised, like literally. And I'm like, Dad, the pillow. He goes, up, let's go, right? And so we used to wake up, so I used to train in the mornings and then I used to play tennis in the evenings and every single day, 7 days a week. And, uh, it just became a— that's it. My life became just getting, just developing that skill and capability.

So then when did you actually come to the U.S.?

So when I was 13, 14 years old, I started to play on the pro tennis tour, and this is like, think of it as the, in golf, this would be like the Hooters Leagues or the, you know, kind of the, before the PGA. So in tennis, they call them the Satellites and Challengers, that's the pre-ATP, but you can still get pro points for that. And so I started playing, I played all of Southeast Asia, Um, and I, I was like not, not homeschooled but away schooled, as my mom called it. Literally, I was in school while I was traveling. And then I didn't realize that once you actually get a pro point in tennis, you are a, you're a pro. And once you turn to be, once you're pro, you can't play college tennis in the US because you can't go from pro to amateur status.

So you screwed yourself out of college tennis? I did, by getting a pro point.

I got one pro point, and then Ohio State basically said to me, hey, we saw that you got a pro point, you're, you're, you literally got, you got kicked out of, we have to rescind our offer. I'm like, this is the entire idea, this is the whole plan of doing this. And, uh, a lot of kids, what they used to do is they used to play these tournaments, which I learned later, and right, right before getting the pro point, like at the end of the qualifying round, they would actually tank and lose Wow. So they would get all the benefits of the experience, but they would not get the pro points. And that's how they would still eligible for college tennis in the US. And so I couldn't play, I couldn't play D1 or D2 tennis, but I went on an academic scholarship to play D3 tennis. And so I played D3 tennis at a small school in Iowa because the only, that's the only thing I could get to. And that was the start of my, uh, that's how I got to the US.

So you ended, you did end up going to college?

I ended up going to college on an academic scholarship. And so, I got up my grades and all of that. And then, I played Division III no-cut tennis.

And did you come to the U.S. by yourself or were you with family?

No, but my parents actually are not super well off. They were, you know, middle-class family. My dad was a professor in the local university. My mom was a nutritionist. And they sold every single thing that they had to give me one check. So they paid for a full year's worth of everything, uh, room, board, tuition, laundry.

How much money was that back then?

That was like maybe $35,000, $35,000 maybe. Like, so it was, it was a whole, you know, back, so it was everything for the first year. And my dad handed me this check and he says, hey, here's everything that we have, This is yours. It's for the first year of school. Uh, we hope you can make years 2, 3, and 4. If you can't, come back and we'll take care of you. Like, that was a really good safety net, right?

So you were just sent off and it was like, you have to figure it out because here's everything we got for you.

Correct.

Yeah, you had a, you had a lot of pressure on you.

Well, it was pressure, but it was also, um, safety net. Yeah, I was like looking for— I was like, wow, this is amazing. Like, I can go do whatever I want to do and, um in a society that will actually appreciate me, at least before I screw up or do anything stupid. And so I showed up in the U.S. with one year, with a one-year grace period, and had a chance to build a brand new life. And I have not, since then I've been back home once.

Now, now, how much culturally different was it coming from India to then going to college in the, in the U.S.?

Oh, I mean, it was night and day, right? Um, I'll tell you this— I haven't told a lot of people this— my, my first day in college, we were in the sticks in, in Iowa. My first day in college, I get into my dorm room and, um, I get a— this— so that's one, my first day. My second day, I get this call that says the president of the school and the dean want to meet with me. I was like, I've been here 24 hours, what did I do wrong that the president of the school and the dean want to meet with me? So I get— so of course I show up and they meet with me and they're like, Shiran, we take, uh, you know, multiculturalism really seriously at the school. We want to make sure you're okay about the recent incidents towards you. I was like, what recent incidents? Well, someone apparently, which I didn't even know by the way, had etched on my door, had etched on my door, "The only good Indian is a dead Indian." Oh my God. Can you imagine that?

So you're, you're pretty much by yourself in college and somebody wrote that on your door?

Yeah, and I had no— and someone saw it and like reported it because it was like a hate crime.

But you were kind of used to being bullied in your life because when you were a child you were bullied.

I thought it was a joke. I was like, that's hilarious. And it didn't faze you? No, I was not afraid at all. I was like, I don't even know what you're talking about, but this is kind of funny. And they're like, well, we picked this here. So they had this guy come down and like sand my door. And I'm like, this is totally fine. This is hilarious. But if you think about the gravity of the situation, I was, you know, talk about being in a new place, trying to do new things. And I'll give you the funniest story of all is since I didn't have money, a lot of things happened that first week. But the one thing that I'll never forget is my ability to understand English was decent because in India you actually go to school where like, you know, where they teach you in English, but you didn't have— the kids never had to talk. So I understood this.

Your accent was strong.

Yeah, it was very strong. And so I could barely speak. I couldn't speak very well, but I understood everything fine. And I needed a job because I really had to make some money for the next year. So, so I went to work study and I said, hey, how do I get a job? And they said, well, uh, what shifts do you want? And I was super embarrassed. I, I didn't know it was normal to work in the U.S. I was super embarrassed. So I said, well, can I just get the graveyard shift? They were like, okay, sure. So I spent— so I got a custodian. So I was a custodian in the science building from midnight to 6:00 a.m. Right? Because I thought that no one would see me there, and it would be like, you know, I wouldn't be embarrassed like mopping floors and cleaning bathrooms and all of that. So the first day I show up on this, uh, really, you know, this— I think that the custodian who'd been there like 20 years was like, hey kid, let me teach you the way, like, let me teach you how to mop a floor because you probably don't know. And he taught me, and I learned, not hard, but I cleaned bathrooms and mopped floors and all of that. And the This guy was like hilarious, he was super funny, and he would tell me these jokes and I would laugh so hard, and then I would try to tell him jokes that I knew, and he'd be like— so after I told him like 2 or 3 times, he'd be like, that's really funny, Shiran, like if only I could understand you, I would have laughed the first time, and so I said, well, what do I do? He goes, this is what you should do, go to the library and check out some accent tapes, like learn English, I go, oh, good idea, Jared. I show up at the library and I'm like, hey, can I get some accent tape? She goes, well, for what language? I said, English. She goes, well, just FYI, when people come here, like, they talk to other people. I have accent tapes for French and German and Spanish, but I don't have English tapes. So I said, well, what do I do? She says, well, why don't I just give you a book on tape and you can just listen to it? So she hands me a like a, like these, these CDs, um, and I had the old— I don't remember this, it was— you're too young for this.

How old are you now and how long ago was this?

I'm 40, so this was when I was 17.

Okay.

And, and so she, um, I had a little Discman, Sony Discman, and so she hands me this, you know, this, this— I don't even know what it is. She hands me a book, a stack of CDs, so I put it in And my custodian tells me, hey, you have 6 hours of mopping floors. Like, you're going to be— you're going to learn English in no time.

Yeah.

So the funny part is the book that she gave me was Tony Robbins' Personal Power.

Wow.

So the first book that I ever listened to was about personal growth. And the reason I speak the way I do, like, I generally yell when I speak. And I only know how to speak because Tony yells. Like, I have no— I thought that's how you spoke English. I had no idea. So I learned to speak I'm just screaming all the time. Like, my wife says, like, my wife's like, you need to calm down. I go, this is how I speak. Oh, I know. So, but very super fortunate that, like, when you listen to, you know, incantations and mindset stuff without even the intention of it, and that's what was being listened to and being programmed, literally, that could have been— I could have been listening to War and Peace or Tony Robbins, and by stroke of you know, universal luck. I was listening to personal growth stuff, which is what kind of started me on this. It gave me an— I probably— I think it gave me an early advantage on this.

That's the perfect example of not having any expectations and then getting led down a path that you're meant to get led down. I mean, you literally were embarrassed to mop floors, and the guy that was teaching you how to mop told you to get some tapes, and now you're force-fed self-help material that I'm assuming helped propel your career from there. So what was next in your career? Like how did you, I mean, you've exited 5 companies now. So how did you go from, you know, a kid who came from India, was getting bullied to exiting 5 companies? I'm sure it's a long story, but like—

Well, no, we can do it fast because I think that I'll tell the first I'll give you the first exit story and there's probably a lesson in there. The first one is— So, I would—

Real quick, was this your first big break in business? Because I always talk about once you get that first big break, you outperform what your limited beliefs are, which is something that Tony Robbins talks about a lot. And that first big break is kind of the thing that you can hold on to and leverage to get that second, third, fourth, fifth, and so on. So, This is your first big break.

This is my first big one. And, you know, I was very fortunate that I got the big one right out of the gate. Um, my— I, I literally will tell you my goal. My goal when I left India of coming to the U.S. was that I would get a— I was a, I was computer science math major. Um, for some reason I, I like computers a lot, and all I wanted was to get a $100,000 a year job. That is all I wanted. Like I said, if I If I can make $100 grand a year, no one— like, I have hit the jackpot. Like, this is the greatest thing that can happen to me ever. And what happened was, um, so my senior year of college, I wrote this paper, this, uh, this paper on technology, and it got chosen to present it in Berkeley at a computer science conference, like total nerd conference. So I go to present it on stage, and there's 3 judges. That are listening to my stuff. So I present my stuff and never presented anything before. I present my stuff and then I come off stage and one guy, one of the judges peels off, walks up to me and says, hey, Shiran, great presentation. By the way, you're not going to win. I was like, oh man, this sucks. He tells me straight up, you're not going to win. However, what you shared could be the missing piece to a company that I just invested in. I was like, OK. He goes, let me connect you with the founders and maybe this is of interest to you. I said, sure, I'm looking for a job anyway. Like, I need to get my $100,000 a year goal. So this was during the technology boom in the Bay Area. This was 1999, 2000. So this was— that's when everything was happening. And so they connected me with the founders. I got my first entree into technology. So I was not a— I was not a founder, but I was one of the earliest employees. So I got stock options and all of that. I got to build something from the ground up. They used my technology to incorporate as a core part of their product. So I got to build a core part of that. And the— as a business, we raised a little over $26 million in venture funding. And these are all public numbers. And the— after 3 years, the— I— now, after 3 years, that business got bought before by another public company for $550 million. And so, I had my small piece of that which I was able to pay off all student debt because I'd taken those over the years. I was able to pay back my parents. I was able to do everything that was— I was able to get completely debt-free and also give myself a 5-year runway. So, that's when I said— and I was single, so a 5-year runway was not that much money. But because if I said a 5-year runway, meaning if I didn't have rent and all of that, like, what would I do? So for 5 years, I took 5 years off, and I went and I taught tennis for 5 years. That was my way of doing— so I was in the Caribbean for a year, Dubai for a year, and on Maui for 3 years teaching tennis. And that was the— that, that time gave me, like, every day I would sit down, I would journal or write business ideas. That gave me more perspective than, than any other time. And but I remember where I, Jared, I was not equipped to build a business when I was 21 years old. I knew nothing. I knew how to write code. I had zero idea how to pitch venture capitalists. I knew nothing. I had to learn all of that on the job. I didn't even know how to do, I didn't know how to be productive. I didn't have a productivity system. I didn't know how to manage email. I didn't know how to manage my time. I didn't know how to, I literally didn't know anything. And I had to talk, I had to learn that By myself.

That's the best way to learn. I mean, I have a very similar first big win, and I may have told you about this.

It's—

I got basically approached by a company called Yik Yak, which was a startup company. They raised $10 million. They wanted to sponsor my shows, which I wasn't throwing anymore. And instead, I told them what they should do. So they were like, this could be a huge missing piece to our company. Just like you, I came on board, I implemented all the marketing I saw them raise another $62 million. It opened my eyes. I made my little exit and that was like the first big break from my beliefs of like what I thought was possible as well.

Yeah.

So, so after this, now you're like, okay, you did the $100,000 thing, you're playing tennis, you're all over the world, you're meeting cool people, uh, like what brought you your next, your next thing? Like what was the next thing you wanted to do at this point?

Yeah. So, so, uh, there's a couple things that happen in there and I'll share that with you, but there's a, there's a cool lesson here. And the lesson, like, and I keep thinking about this, is we always find people that say, well, if Jared could do it, if Sharon could do it, you can do it too. And I don't think that's accurate. That's not fair to say because you, you have a completely different set of skill set capabilities, mindset, support system, and so do I. And it's hard for me to say, well, if he can do it or she can do it, I can do it too. And I, I was like that. But here's the big lesson I've learned. I don't— people always say, well, just model Jared and you'll be fine. I'm like, no, you can't. You can't. Like, there's no way you can model Jared. He's a stud. Like, it's super hard. But I think that there is a key here. And the key is, instead of modeling the person, could we model their support system? Right? So now, instead of modeling Tiger Woods, could I model His trainer, his coach, like, what did— who did he have in place to bring out his talents? And can I get something similar and model that support system for myself that will bring out my personal, my own unique talent? And I think that a lot of times we get so fixated on the— on the— call it the Trumps or the Musks or the whomevers of the world. And we see, well, I want to be like them. But you don't realize that they are who they are because of their support systems. And so, if I've been, that's why I've been on this, on this mad dash towards saying, huh, when I talk to my mentors right now, I'm like, I want to figure out what do they like, what are their rituals, what are their routines, and what are their support systems. Once you figure that out, you quickly figure out what their beliefs are because then it shatters all your like glass ceiling beliefs, right? So, to me, when I'm talking to my mentors, I'm like, hey, so what do you, when you wake up on a Sunday, what do you do? Um, when you, when you get a really crappy email, like, how do you think about it? And if they walk you through that, you're like, oh my gosh, this is amazing. I don't have to wait 10 years to figure this out. Yeah.

And you're, you're somebody who I come to with those types of questions because you've accomplished more in your career than I have so far. So I like to— I, I totally resonate with you. It's like when you wake up in the morning, like, what's your first thought? Like, where does, where does your mind go to get you on the right track? I mean, on that note, like For you, what is that like? Like, what are your first thoughts in the morning?

Totally. So, um, I, I realized that very quickly, and I think you nailed it just by that. You just nailed it. I think what we create when we're up in the morning, we have a choice. We can either, we can either kind of be, go to a default routine of, I'm going to check my email, see what's on social, and then react to it, or I'm going to create something every morning. And, um, my mentor Walter Schneider, he, uh, He has, you know, one of my mentors in the real estate space, he has 41,000 agents around the world. He has, he owns one-third of the world in RE/MAX. I guess it's insane. Like, he, and so he told me, he goes, uh, create before you consume. Super cool thing, right? He's like, create before you consume. So what I do every morning, and if for folks, this is the truth, every morning at 5 AM is I run this thing called the 5 AM Club call. It's 5 AM Pacific time every single day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. For 5 minutes every morning. And it's just 5 minutes, it's a phone call, it's totally free. And there's one message at 5 AM. It's generally me, and we have got a couple other co-hosts that do that on the days that I'm traveling, etc. But the goal is you just— everybody gets on, I— you can hear everybody live. I mute everybody, we do one quick message, 3 to 5 minutes, and then we're off. And that's kind of their verbal espresso for the day. And so my job, like, I start my day, I wake up at 4:45, I get up, I stretch a little bit, I put my sweats on and I go to the call and I get a chance to create that one thought every morning. And so it's my personal accountability to one, serve, but to also, if I have to create that, I have to show up with energy, I have to show up with some kind of, you know, meaningfulness in the morning. And Jared, I'll tell you the days that I, there are days that I do the call and some days that I don't, I can tell a huge difference because I've been doing this every single day for the last 5, years. We have 6,000+ people on the call right now. Wow. Every single morning. And it started— and no marketing, no pay, nothing.

Just to hold yourself accountable and to make yourself create in the morning.

Yeah. And my coach came up with this thing where she said to me— she— so this was 2 years ago— she said, "Sharon, no more preparing your message the night before." So literally, I show up at 4:55 and I kind of like do a deep-centered meditation for just a minute. I know you have a great meditation practice. And I go and I'm like, okay, what was the message from yesterday that really resonated? Maybe my children, my wife, my business partner, my work. And then you're able to take that story and succinctly build it into a message and deliver it. So it's super original and—

And then you push yourself onto the path you want to be on for the day. So I'm sure a lot of people can relate and I'm a believer that your energy, especially in the morning, is very fragile. What you're served, like if you wake up and you check Instagram and you see something about politics that turns you off, you're gonna have that weird, eerie feeling for hours to come.

Yeah.

And your energy is very fragile and you don't really have control over it if you're just consuming. If you're opening your email, if you're looking at your text, you're looking at your Instagram first thing, you don't really know. Like, maybe you get something good from it that starts you off the right way, but maybe you don't. So I think that the takeaway of creating before you consume— I think anyone listening That's such a powerful little tidbit. I mean, that's something that I'm going to start thinking about even more regularly. And that's such a good way to simplify it. I mean, I'm always thinking more complex, like you need this time to yourself in the morning. And I have a non-negotiable 1 hour in my meditation room every morning.

Yeah.

Not that I'm meditating for an hour. Sometimes I'm meditating for 40 minutes, sometimes it's 10 minutes, but I'm in that room with no phone, with just music, just the sauna, just stretching. Just a notebook for an hour. And that's probably been the single biggest thing that I've implemented in my life that's had the biggest effect on my happiness, my fulfillment, and my career.

Yeah, I think you're spot on. And I'll tell you, I think all of us are very bio-individual, right? They're very different in how we're wired. Jared, I've realized I've done, since I'm up at 5, I've done a lot of different morning routines. I am actually a believer, I think there are people that have a routine in the morning and people that don't. And I think that's a big determination between your success and you're not. I'm not. So here's what I use. I've tried the whole, um, you know, uh, tai chi in the morning. I've tried the whole like, hey, I've got it, I've got it, like chug a bunch of water. I try to— I've got a journal. I've tried like, you know, I got it, I got to do P90X, I got to exercise, I got it, I got to do all of that. I just realized that's— that doesn't work for me. Like, I, I don't— it got too complex where I was like, oh, I got to do 20 minutes of this, 40 minutes of that. Yeah. And it's just, it was too much. So here's what I'll tell you.

You don't want to do anything because you're thinking, oh my God, I have to do all this stuff. So then you're like, I didn't want to do any of it.

Totally. And I'll tell you, like, literally for me, I wake up at 4:45 every single day because that's just, I have one alarm. And then my 5:00 to 6:30 AM, generally speaking, I do only one of two things. And it's super easy. I try to simplify my life significantly, and I call it the farm boy morning routine. You know, Craig Valentine talks about it too. Literally, I wake up, what does a farm boy do? He feeds chickens and the sheep, and he does the work in the morning. And I believe that it's super easy for me if I set up where, if I can just, if I want to, I write a lot. And, you know, you and I talked about content creation. For me, writing is super therapeutic. It's not, I'm not the best writer, but it helps me clarify what's in my head a lot.

Yeah.

Because my dad used to tell me this, he said, you know, fear has no place on paper. And I love that saying because if you're afraid about something, if you write about it, it labels it, it's on paper. So my favorite thing to do in the morning is only one of two things. I wake up and I normally the night before will set up what I'm going to do in the morning. Like, I'll literally pull up the document, I'll pull up the prompts, and that way when I show up, I can just grab my cup of coffee and I can just write. And by 6:30, I'm like, wow, I got so much done that it would not have been able to do any other time. And I either do that or This is crazy that I'm telling you this. I am not joking. I literally sometimes don't want to do anything. I will sit slouched on this big leather chair that I have in front of my fireplace in my house. It doesn't matter if it's 80 degrees out, like, but it's dark, it's cool in the house. I just love the crackling sound of the fire. I just love the movement, and I just sit there, lights off. I just sit there, no phone, And sometimes I'll doze off, sometimes I'll come back, and to me, that's a very kind of like drifting state, it's very therapeutic for me. I just want to be centered before I begin my day, and so to me, it's either a "How am I feeling today?" farm boy morning routine, or, you know, hang out by the fire. That way, it's super easy, and regardless, when my kids wake up at 6:45, 7:00, I'm a really good dad, like I've gotten all the crap out of my head, and I'm in a good place.

So I think a lot of people consume so much stuff because we live in an age of unlimited information. That's not necessarily wisdom, it's information. So people are learning about my morning routine, your morning routine, Tim Ferriss's morning routine, Elon Musk's morning routine, and they're like, oh my God, I have to do all this stuff to be successful. But it's like, no, you actually just need to figure out what works for you. And it's cool, you've simplified it, either the farm boy or sitting in front of a fireplace. Either one's good for you. Now I have a question for you. So you wake up every morning at 4:45. I have trouble waking up in the morning. I could wake up in the morning. There's been 6-month streaks that I've woken up at 5 o'clock every day. There's been 3-month streaks where I sleep until my eyes open up. Like, my brain— and I, I like to tell myself it's because I think I'm smart. My brain is good at convincing me of things. But it might be because I'm weak. I don't know what it is. My brain is really good at keep convincing me that I don't need to get up when I want to get up. The night before, I'm like, I'm getting up tomorrow morning. I'm doing this. I know it'll set my day the right way. But then in the morning, I'm like, yeah, you know, it's 5. I could go do that, or I could do it in an hour. I could sleep a little bit more. How do you get yourself up out of bed?

Yeah, good question. So I'll give you two— there are two answers. Um, one is for folks that have built-in accountability like me. I have 6,000 people waiting on a call, so I kind of—

that's a good one.

Yeah, but, uh, this is gonna sound super weird, but I'll walk through it. If there's any one thing that I do, and this works for me, again, very bio-individual, it's the same practice that I run every single night. And that is— that's what sets me up for the day. And, um, this goes back to a very interesting story. My I was living in India with my parents. We had a small one-bedroom apartment in the heart of the city in Chennai. And my dad, after dinner, he would sit down at— he would clear the dining table out. My dad would sit on the dining table. He would open his leather bind— kind of leather journal for the day. He would write tomorrow's date on a page. And he would just write like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, the things that he had to do for the day. And he called it, you can create tomorrow today. That was his way of— he always tell me, hey, Sharana, you got to create tomorrow today. And Jared, you do it every single night, right? Every single night. And so I didn't really understand what that meant. I was like, seems so mechanical.

Yeah.

So what I do now is the, the 2 minutes before I actually fall asleep, right when I'm ready to go to bed, I— this is gonna sound hokey, but it's super powerful— I close my eyes and I— it'll actually be faster while I do it than I tell everybody what it is, but I'll tell everybody what it is. So I close my eyes and I visualize exactly what's going to happen the next day. So here's— I'll walk you through it. I close my eyes and I see— I can hear my alarm. I can— I see myself, the alarm go off. I see myself grabbing it, turning it off, no snooze, grabbing it, turning it off, jumping out of bed, putting my sweats on, putting my hoodie on, running downstairs, grabbing my headset, going into the study, and getting ready for the call, stretching, grabbing my coffee, doing the call. Then I see myself actually, oh, it's a— tomorrow is a lazy day, no problem. I see myself going and slouching in front of the fireplace, turning, turning the fireplace on, sitting there, putting a blanket on me. Then I see myself like put on another pot of coffee. I see my timer going off, I run up, I wake up my mom, wake up my, my son and my daughter, I get them ready, I get myself ready, we do breakfast, I get to work, and I just quickly scan the work calendar in my head, and then I see myself coming back at dinner at the right time. So I've made the decision that I'm back at home by 6:15 or whatever it is. I see myself just having dinner with the family, and I see myself like finishing up the day, putting my kids to bed, and back in bed again right where I am right now. So I see it really fast.

You're extreme. So like I even said at the beginning of the call, you're extremely intentional with everything you do. So, visualize— you basically visualize your entire next day so you make it your reality before the day actually starts so that when you do what you're supposed to do the next day, it feels right as opposed to not having a plan and expecting yourself to have the discipline to stay on track, on a track that doesn't really exist except for somewhat, maybe on your calendar, maybe conceptually. You know, I'm going to do this tomorrow, but you're intentionally visualizing exactly what your day is going to look like the next day. And you think that that's a key to getting yourself up in the morning?

I think so, only because the reason that you mentioned, you just mentioned this before, you're like, hey, you know, my alarm goes up at 5, I can be like, ah, I don't need to do that today, I'll be fine, right? The reason is because you're allowing your, I think we're allowing ourselves to make the choice in the moment instead of already making the choice, right? So when I close my eyes and I visualize, I just, I pre-made the choice. So when I'm given that same situation again, that alarm going off again, I know what it's going to look like. I know what my phone's going to look like with the— I've already made that choice so that, so making that choice again seems natural, right?

And so when you say I think, but it's really like when you say I think and you're telling me about it, it's reinforcing your ideas in yourself even more. So you're going to stick to it even more in the future. So this is a good exercise. Yeah.

And the interesting part is once you do it once or twice, you can do it super fast in your head, right? And sometimes I might not have— that's why I also like right before I go to bed, I'll look at my calendar for the next day and just be super grateful for it. I'm like, hey, tomorrow I get to hang out with Jared. I haven't talked to him in a few months. Like, I'm excited about it. So I can just run through my day in my head. I've also noticed this, Jared, is that if I look to my calendar and I feel something stressful about the next day, It's, it's good to know, kind of like, that's a stressful thing coming up, because there is one or two things that are important here, which is why do we put ourselves in these stressful situations? There's no reason for it, right? So if, if I have a— if I, if I, if I'm working with a client that I don't really enjoy, but that client shows up on my calendar every third Wednesday, and I'm like, this is— there's no reason for this.

I'm stressed again. No more of this client.

Yeah, and it doesn't— and it's— we're all very bio-individual. So I think a lot of times it's like, if everything that you look at, look at your calendars, is stressful, that means that we probably have a chance to recenter and be like, hey, you know what, I should probably make a few different decisions.

And, and we don't think that we have the choice to not make those decisions, but you do. Sometimes I found myself in business ventures that were taking 80% of my energy each day and making me 0 to 10% of my income for months on end.

And I'm like, what the hell?

What am I doing this for? I'm wasting my time. I'm becoming a worse person because I'm stressed about this. And it's not even, it's not even making my life any better. So no more. And sometimes people don't think that that's okay. They think they have to keep doing what they're doing, but you have the choice.

Oh, I'll tell you, I'll give, and the interesting part is it actually happens to extremely smart and bright people more than it does to the general population. Because like you said, the extremely smart and bright people, the person that's listening right now, is super— they can convince themselves of anything, right?

Exactly. Your mind is powerful. It can convince you.

The, the— I think the reason behind that a lot of times, Jared, is that if you don't know your options, you feel like you don't have any. And, and so when I see something on my calendar—

that's a good one. Repeat that one more time.

Yeah, if you don't know your options options, you feel like you don't have any.

Wow. Yeah.

And the interesting part is, all we have to do there, you can fix it. All you have to do there is to force yourself to create options. So like, if you and I were, you know, let's say you're running a— if you and I were talking about ZenDrop, and I'd be like, you'd be like, oh man, this client. I'd be like, okay, awesome. We're gonna come up with 5 options. So, magic number, right? Yeah. Because 10 sounds like too many, 1 is not helpful. So, I'm like, hey, what is one other option? You could fire this person? Cool. What else? Oh, you could change the— cool. You could give someone else point on this? Cool. You could, you know, you could change their payment structure? Cool. You could take a break from this relationship? Cool. You could change this and give it to someone else?

Cool. If you don't proactively make those options, you won't even know you have them. It's so— the smart people listening here, which I'm sure you're smart if you're listening to this, that the takeaway is that you need to be proactive to be able to contain your mind from— basically, you have to be smarter than your mind is, and it's already smart. I think that's kind of the takeaway. And you have to be proactive in giving yourself options so that you could pick what you want to do.

So you nailed it because, you know, when you and I get to chat, it's, you know, it's super fun because, um, the, the core of this is when you're inside the bottle, it's hard to read the label, right? And so you see yourself, you know, you have enough awareness that's stressing you out, you're like, well, this sucks, it's like stressing me out, but to me, it just, I know I can give you advice because it's from, I care about you, but I'm not emotionally connected to your problem, right? And same for you, when like you're helping me out with one of my clients' e-commerce, like I have no nothing, but you care about me, but you're not emotionally connected to it, so it'd be super easy for you to do, So, that's why when I—

On that note, so you're— if I'm talking to someone that I respect and I have problems that are stressing me out, they're not stressed out by those problems so they could point them out to me. But on the same note, if you do practice meditation, if you do practice mindfulness, you can actually separate your true self from your mind that's all stressed out and you can see situations with no emotional attachment. So I think that there's a strong, um, lesson that you could actually almost be your own coach if you're good enough at being present and you can pull your, your true self away from your mind. That's a deep one to think about, but it's— but I've learned that.

No, that's so— that's so good, uh, because I, I think that very few— you— we have to— that is the joy of You know, people are like, why am I meditating? It's like swimming, right? After a while, suddenly it like, it hits and you're like, wow, I can separate, I can separate these feelings. I'll tell you, I've been meditating on and off for a long time. I can't, I'm not, I can't do that on demand.

Right.

Me being super honest, I can't, I can't do that on demand. And I have noticed that I've tried, I've tried TM, I've tried a lot of things, but I've noticed what works for me really well. And if people want to get into meditation, I'm sure Jared, you have some ideas. I use it, I use an app, and I literally, it's like, are you stressed? Yes. Are you jumping on a plane? Yes. Like, it literally, you pick situationally where you are, and it does a guided meditation for like 12 minutes. And I installed that called Buddhify.

Buddhify. All right, we'll put that in the, uh, in the show notes.

Yeah, Buddhify. It's, I think it's free. You just, you have to say, hey, I'm at work and I want a break, or I just woke up. You decide, you tell them, you tell the app where you are, and it gives you like something guided for that 10 minutes, and I instantly feel better.

Yeah. But I think also, you know, we live in a state of so much information that oftentimes we get this feeling of like ambient stress and ambient anxiety, and we don't know where it's coming from because we have so many things on our minds, on our phones.

All—

so, so, you know, sometimes when you meditate or you just sit there and you could separate yourself, the, the things that are causing those feelings just bubble up and you realize it's like, oh, it's because I have to call that person and I've been dreading it and I've been putting it off for 2 weeks. If I just did that— and I think it's, it's a consistent challenge of curing yourself of that ambient anxiety. And I don't think we've ever lived in a time like this where you're so prone and you're so inclined to having those feelings. So it's really important that people like you and I are having these discussions and spreading this word. I think it's such a powerful thing to talk about.

I am, if there's any, you know, and I think you, I like your wording way better than mine. I like the ambient stress a lot. I call it, you know, when I talk about it a lot, I call it drag. There's just—

Drag, yeah.

Right?

Same shit.

And it was, I didn't know a better word for it, but a lot of the reason, the only way that I know to mechanically relieve drag is to plan. And a lot of us think that, you know, I think our culture today has talked, you know, that promotes the hustle and grind a lot. They're like, just doesn't matter what you do, just work your face off and grind, grind, grind. And I always, you know, I say this, I said, you know, the hustle and grind will leave you tired and resentful, right? And the crazy part is I didn't hustle and grind. I got super sick, it was super painful, I almost lost my family, and that's too hard for me. So I'll tell you what I do, Jared. I literally probably spend right now 70% of my usable time, call it billable hours, 70% of my time I probably spent in some way, shape, or form planning.

But, but it's important to note that you do spend 25% of your time executing because a lot of people overplan and never make any, any action.

Yes.

So take note of that. He's still using 25% of his time.

And, and the reason also is what I think happens is, um, the, the planning is so— it's become so beautiful and joyful now that I enjoy the planning process so much that when I'm— when I jump on the phone with you, I can be like, hey, let me show— we talk about something like, let me show you how I did this, and I show you my planning, and you're like, oh cool, I got the idea, right? Because something clicked. Because you and I never— don't need to talk about execution, you know what's up. But suddenly you're like, oh, I see this strategy here that he used. And so I've actually started to do planning where either it's a mind map or it's a graphical representation, or I'm planning a lot on paper. I've gotten to the point, Jared, where I'm sharing my planning with people, and I'm like, you don't have to plan, but what about what gave you the insight from this? And whenever you're stressed, I say, whenever you're stressed, just stop and plan. Just say, hey, what I'm doing the next 24 hours.

This is, this is good stuff, but I don't, I don't want to go too much deeper yet because a lot of people listening, and myself included, are like, okay, cool, I want to plan. Where do I start? What tools do I use? Yeah, like, where do I begin? Because I actually wanted to get on a call with you and talk about— because here's the thing, you know, I get emails from you, you know, once a week, once every 2 weeks, that are jam-packed with tons of like of good valuable, not fluff, like valuable content. I see you posting high-quality content on social media. You're executing in your business. You're getting a lot of shit done. How, like, what tools do you use to plan and organize? And like, and where do you start?

Yeah, totally. Let's walk through that process because I think this is— thank you for asking— is my, my, probably my favorite thing of all is this. So 3-step process if you are listening right now. And so if Jared and I were hanging out and, you know, and we had 20 minutes, this is what I would, you know, we would, we would work on together. The first thing I would say is there is— we got to eliminate this ambient stress, which is the drag. Right? So, because it's very hard for anybody to just go into planning right away. It's super difficult because there's— our minds are kind of messy right now. So the first thing I would say is it's not a brain dump, but it's like, take a piece of paper. You have the front and back of an 8.5 by 11 paper. You can fill it as much as you want, but I want you to write down every single thing you think you need to do. It can be pay taxes, walk the dog, fix my elbow, you know, I need a better driver, whatever it may be, right? Just everything that is on your mind that you think you need to do, you should write it down. You'll probably stop in like the 3-minute mark and you'll get everything out. That's when the good stuff happens. That's when the— that's when— that's the difference between the conscious and all the unconscious drag. That's when I will force you to fill both sides of the paper with everything. So once you get all that out, you're in a very clean state. And so that would be part 1. So you're just getting everything out and but doing it all in the form of what action do I need to take because I'm trying to eliminate drag.

So step 1, once you start, they start rolling, by the way. Oh, you think of them in your head, you might come up with 10, but you start writing, you're going to write 40 or 50. I've done it.

But the best part is once you have it all, you're like, this is all I need to do. I am not as stressed about it because this is way easily accomplished. Right, on the piece of paper. Now there's a second exercise. So right after I do that, this is really good to do the second exercise. And a lot of management gurus talk about this. I really love this. It's the start, stop, continue exercise. And I love it. It's just take a piece of paper, draw 3— it's just got 3 columns: one start, one stop, one continue. And, um, I start— I, I like to do the stop first because you can't add things to your plate before you remove something off because we're all jammed anyway. So, and a lot of people like, well, Sharon, I don't want to stop, you know, I don't want to stop exercising, I don't want to stop eating meat, I don't want to stop. And I'm like, you don't have to stop forever, just would you stop for 90 days, right? That's all I'm asking. So now you're like, okay, cool, what am I going to stop for 90 days? So the column is just, what am I going to stop for 90 days? And so you'll come up with 3, 5, 7 things that she's going to say, you know what, I'm going to stop snoozing for 90 days, I'm going to stop drinking alcohol for 90 days, I'm going to stop partying for now, I'm going to stop doing Netflix for 90 days. No more than one episode of Netflix binging. Like, my— actually, I have a client that says he binges on Netflix a lot because that's his stress reliever. And I said, continue watching, but tell yourself no more than one episode per night, right? Changed his life. And I'm like, this is so crazy that that was like the most amount of advice I gave you for a lot of money that you paid me. He's like, it changed my life, right? But because we did the start, stop, continue exercise. So when you do the stop you'll realize that you now have time to add a few things. So if you say, hey, I want to go on a walk, I want to create content, I want to write— because all we tell ourselves is I need to write stuff, but you're like, where in my world am I going to fit it?

Right? Yeah, right.

So I always say 5 things that you're going to start, 5 things that you're going to stop. That way they kind of sort of match up so you don't feel like— and it's only for 90 days. And then the continue is your pat on the back. You're like, hey, you know what, I'm still meditating for an hour a day. Cool, I want to continue that. I'm still hanging out and cooking dinner with, with my fiancée. I want to hang out, do that. Whatever you do, the continue stuff is really important. That gives you the, hey, I'm doing certain things that are good, I'm going to continue that. So I call it the 555: 5 start, 5 stop, 5 continue. Gives you a little framework. So now you're like, okay, cool, what do I do with this? My favorite thing then, Jared— this is my last part— is I like to just do a 90-day plan. So in the next 90 days, I literally do, um, Month 1, month 2, month 3, what am I going to focus on? Like, what are my projects? And the hard part here is that people think that they have so much. So the original data dump that we did, that's when I literally go through each one and I do 1, 2, or 3. This is the first month, the second month, or the third month. That way, then I take each of those and I just put it in each of the months, right? That's it. So now you've taken the whole exercise where you know that, hey, I data dumped all these things I have to do. Now I know where in the months they're going to go. I literally don't have anything else to do, so I'm only going to do this. And that my 90-day plan becomes my Bible, and I only look at that. I actually have my 90-day plan hanging on my wall right now. That is all I have. I don't think about anything else. Everything else is next quarter, right?

And, and when your mind is like, oh, you should do this instead, or you should— you know that you already were intentional in what you're doing, so you got to just stick to it. So you got to have the discipline to stick to it.

That's right.

That's the missing piece.

Right. The cool part is this though, right? Once you start knocking stuff— the reason why most people are not executing on is that they feel like, I have these 41 things to do, but I don't know, should I do it now? Should I do it later? Is it important? And when you, when you just slot them in the right spots, you're like, oh cool, I don't have to worry about these things in months 2 and 3. I just have to do this in month 1. Awesome, let me get this done. And once you do one and you see the check off the list, you get traction. Jared, I think it's super hard. Like, the 1-year plans are hard because they feel so far away, but the 90 days feels long enough where I can make, I can make progress, but short enough where I can see the end. So that's— yeah.

So first of all, I think this exercise is amazing. Um, I think that there's one other thing that you need to do, that, that a lot of listeners need to do before they even start this exercise. And that's define their vision. Because a lot of people don't even know what they want their life to look like. They think they know what they want their life to look like. They think that they, you know, if they only had the car that they saw on Instagram, they would finally be happy. Or if they only, you know, were able to travel to this country like that other guy, they would finally be happy. But there's all this shit because there's so much information. There's so many, there's so much stimuli that makes you think you know what you want. So one of the things that were extreme that I would say this is the single biggest thing that's propelled my career and it was at a Tony Robbins event. It was at a UPW event.

Yeah.

It was defining my vision very vividly exactly what I wanted my home to be like, the type of person I wanted to be with, the person I wanted to be. Did I want to be more compassionate? You know, did I want to be funnier? Did I want to be more serious? You know, the, the type of car I wanted in my driveway, specific to the color, the, the type of food I want to eat regularly, the body I wanted, and, and clearly define it all. Because then when you're planning, you got to make sure that each of those plans are a little step in the direction toward your vision. Because a lot of people, if they don't know what they want, they're like, I'm going to do this, but they're, they're heading in all these different directions. So I, I think at least That defining that vision super clearly. And the problem is that like a lot of people listening might be like, okay, I'll define the vision. And they're sitting there and they're thinking and they're like, well, the vision is not coming to me. Well, it's like it's not going to just come to you. You need to get yourself in the right state first. You know? You need to get yourself at a high energy state first. Like if I just finish this podcast, okay, I'm in a good energy because we just talked. But I've been sitting here for literally 8 hours today, my body's tired, my endorphins are low. If I try to think of my vision, it's going to come out not that good. But if I go and I do a run, I drink some water, I push out some push-ups, you know, I put on some good music, I beat my chest a little bit, whatever it is, then the real— the vision of who I really want to be will come out. So for anyone listening who's like, I understand this, but I don't know how to make it happen, It does start with your body. It does start with your getting yourself in a high-energy state to define that vision. And then I think what Sharon just said is so— it sounds simple, but it is so important to do that at least once every few months because we are— so many of us are living in the state of ambient anxiety. We don't know why we feel this way. I'm sure 50 to 80% of listeners or more can relate to that feeling. Of course, I think that the exercise we just talked about is extremely practical. So thank you for sharing.

Let's people not forget, Jared, when you and I were hanging out before, I think this was over Christmas time, you did it. Like, you literally wrote down— remember, you like, you wrote down and you sent me a scan. I was like, this is insane. Like, it was 41 things. I was like, this is amazing. We can actually knock stuff off of this list.

Yeah. Oh yeah, it gave me so much clarity because listen, I'm 30 years old. I don't know everything by any means. I'm learning every single day. You know, I have, I'm running Zendrop, which is a big business. I have between Zendrop and my agency, 20-something employees now. I have, I'm a first-time homeowner. There's a leak in the roof. I have 2 dogs. I have a fiancée. We're planning a wedding. You know, I'm trying to stay healthy. Sometimes it's overwhelming. You know, and, and some people have much more overwhelming circumstances than I do. So, you know, and going through this and, and talking to you about it was super helpful to me. So anyone listening, I highly encourage you guys to take action on what we just discussed.

Yeah, man, it's awesome. It's awesome.

So, Sharon, I, I wanted to talk to you more about your career, but your, your mind is much more fascinating to me. And the only reason I would talk to you about your career is to validate you to people listening so they know you've accomplished a lot. I know you've accomplished a lot. And to me, your thought process, the different ways that you set your life to be intentional, I mean, you're an amazing father. You're overall just a high-energy, happy guy every time I talk to you. So to be able to get inside your mind is a privilege. And I appreciate that. I know we're running low on time here and I'm going to be respectful of your time. I'm going to want to have you come on here again. I'm sure other people are too, but just some closing words. Anything that you want to get out to the listeners before we wrap up?

Yeah, so, so totally. Well, first, thank you for that. Thank you for the kind words. I'd say that if you, if you took away, if you're listening and took away one thing that listening to Jared specifically that even I was making notes on is The limits of your language are the limits of your world, right? The limits of your language are the limits of your world. So when someone— when you see something written well, when you see something explained well, when you see— sometimes a— the word beautiful is not enough, it needs to be gorgeous. Sometimes, you know, the— how things are explained is super important because your mind and your vivid vision doesn't come to life without that. So take a lot of care in how you're using language well, because how you create and define that is literally how your life's going to turn out. So just remember, the limits of your language are the limits of your world.

Just another great piece of advice. Sharon, thank you so much for spending this hour with me. I'm sure everyone listening really appreciates you. You're such an amazing human being, and, you know, I look forward to having you on here again.

You got it, man. Hey, thank you for having me. A lot of people don't realize how hard all this stuff is to take to make time to produce it, to share this. So kudos to you for creating and using your platform to share this. So I appreciate, appreciate you having me on.

All about making the world a better place, and you're, uh, you're helping a lot. So thanks a lot, Sharon.

Got it, man.