Coach Jay, a Dallas hypnotherapist, argues that achieving goals requires feeling like you already are the person you want to become, not just thinking about outcomes. He uses metaphors of seeds and pregnancy to explain why patience and internal focus matter more than chasing external results.
Chapters
I'm about to head to the office, but we gotta charge up a little bit. Let's get up out of here. It's your first time kicking it with us, I'm Coach Jay. I'm a clinically trained hypnotherapist, and I firmly believe, man, as, um, humans, we could be doing half anything we desire. anything. Your only limit in your life is your own imagination. If you could think it, you can do it. Can't think it, can't do it. But if you could think it, if you could put your attention on it, if you could focus on it, you can do it. And if you could focus on it to the point where you start to feel it, you'll do it on accident. You'll do it on accident. I'm trying to chew this up. Give me a second. This thing thick. I will show it to y'all. They ain't pay me no sponsorship dollars, so if you know, you know. If you don't know, you'll know when they pay me. But what were we talking about? If you could think it, you could do it. If you could feel it, you can do it on accident. So I think most people downplay the importance of creating the feeling before the result happens, because you, you get your ideas based on how you feel. Your next move is heavily influenced by how you feel at this present moment. So whenever I'm in my office, changing priority, changing behavior is never my priority. I'm always after how do I change the feelings. What do I need to say? What do I need to get them to imagine? What do I need to get them to focus on to change the feeling? Because I know if I get you feeling a certain way, you'll accidentally act a certain way. When you feel angry, you don't got to try to do angry. You do angry on accident when you feel angry. When you feel sad, you don't got to use willpower to do sad. Okay, you do sad on accident when you feel sad. So I'm always asking myself, how do I get this client to feel motivated? How do I get this client to feel inspired? How do I get them to feel like they can be doing, have anything they desire? How do I get them to feel like their only limit in life is their own imagination? How do I get them to feel successful? How do I get them to feel like the type of person that has unshakable Confidence. That's what I said. Not do how I get them to be confident. How do I get them to feel like the type of person who has confidence? If you feel like you got confidence, you're gonna accidentally throw your shoulders back. You're gonna accidentally put your chest out, your chin up. If you feel like a great orator, you'll get on that stage and accidentally give a good speech. But if you feel like that person that can't do anything right, if you feel like the type of person that can't win for losing, Then you gonna walk in lockstep with how you feel. So rather you working with me, rather you working on this with yourself, prioritize feeling the way that you would feel if you're already the version of yourself that you needed to be to do those things. Stop focusing so much on, I want this house, this car, this relationship. How would I feel if I already had that car in the garage? And I don't want you thinking about the day you get the car when you full of excitement. How would you feel like you've been driving that car every day for 6 months? You'll still be grateful for it, but you're not ecstatic. It's just— I want you to start to treat it like that purse that's in the back of your closet that you used to, um, be so excited about. No, it's just a purse. It's just a shirt. It's just a hat. Like, do I love it? Do I, do I appreciate it? Yes. But is my life shaped around having it? No. Start doing that as you work on your development, as you work on becoming. The word becoming is so important. Becoming, like, but becoming is the, is the connection between not having, having. And so often I see people interrupt the becoming to go sit back in a state of not having. Once you start becoming, you gotta, you gotta stay planted, you gotta stay rooted. You gotta understand that just because it's not finished doesn't mean that it's not happening. You gotta allow that happening to happen. Allow the happening to happen, man. Quit interrupting the becoming because somebody else getting it faster. Stop interrupting the becoming because it's not here yet. Stop interrupting your becoming because other people can't see the— it's not their vision, man. That's like a pregnant woman when she's pregnant with a baby. Just because you can't see it don't mean it's not— it's not becoming. How crazy would she be to go abort her baby simply because you can't see it? You, you'll see it in due time. You'll see it. So stop interrupting your becoming. Stop interrupting your development just because other people can't see the vision yet, man. Sometimes people got stuff going on in their own life that they can't see. How you gonna be upset and surprised that they can't see what's going on behind your scene? And then stop thinking that other people don't go through a stage of becoming. They might not post the becoming on YouTube. They might not post the becoming on TikTok. on Facebook, but everybody has to become. Everybody transitions. Everything has to grow. So don't confuse— don't think other people just arriving just because they're not posting the becoming. Embrace the becoming. And the becoming is where you get a lot of the knowledge. The reason I can coach at the caliber that I coach and can coach the type of people that I coach, because I've became through the stuff that they're becoming through. So I'm not telling you no shit I read in the book. I'm telling you what I'm coaching you, when I'm talking to you, when I'm inspiring you, when I'm pouring into you. I'm not pouring Think and Grow Rich into you. It's thousands of people who could pour Think and Grow Rich into you. I'm pouring personal life experience into you. So don't shy away from that becoming. Being that becoming is what makes you that wise grandparent. That becoming is what allows you to be that great mentor. In the future, that becoming is what allows you to become that old wise man, that old wise woman. Don't shy away from the becoming. That becoming is where you get what you get sharp at. That becoming is where you learn your strength. That becoming is where you learn that power. And because of the becoming I've endured, don't let nothing out there scare me. I know who I am. I know I'm a becomer. I got the ability to overcome. I got the ability. I can go through some stuff and I'm not tissue paper. I'm hard. I, I got control of my mind, and I'm not looking for problems, but I don't shy away from it because I trust me. And I believe one of the only— the only way to really develop true self-trust is to become, man, and be able to look back and go, wait, I overcame that. Me, I overcame it. I'm— I, I got, I got elasticity to me, man. I don't pop, I stretch. I can do this. And that's how you take that evidence and roll it into that inner dialogue, and you tie that in with a few of the other things we talked about, man. But that's like, uh, oh, instant boost to the confidence, looking back and noticing what all you overcame, man. God didn't put you out here with no resources. God didn't put you out here without instincts. God didn't put you out here without intuition. You know things. You smart. Trust yourself, man. Better yourself. Learn the difference between your good and your fear. Learn how to trust your good. Learn that everything ain't gonna make sense. Like, you got to start to look like if you want to be a person who lives a big life, a life that you proud of, a life that they talk about after you after you dead and gone, man. You got to become the type of person that can see oak trees where other people simply see acorns. You got to become the type of person to see full-blown business where other people see, that's a, that's a good idea. And now you got to be able to see the potential in things. You got to be able to say, okay, I see what it is, but you got to be able to be able to see beyond what it is and see what it could be. And then you got to learn how to do that with other people too, man. You got to learn because you only got one mind, right? You only got one mind, and the mind that you use on them is the same mind that you use on you, okay? So if you using that one mind all day to tear people down, to judge and to criticize and think nasty thoughts When you look in the mirror, that's what that mind is conditioned to do. So if you can't see, like, I don't know why they think they can do that. They're not small. They're not. They don't look. I don't know what. If that's the narrative, that's how you train your mind to work. That don't just turn off when you look in the mirror. It don't just turn off when you put you in the spotlight. Realize that how you treat other people is practice for how you treat you. You can't see the potential in others. Don't think you're gonna—it's gonna be easy for you to see the potential in you. If you can't see the ability in others, don't think it's gonna be easy for you to see the ability in you. It's a superpower to be able to see ability, to be able to see potential, and then you don't even talk to the person. You talk to the potential in the person. You're not even talking to the person. You talking straight past them into the potential. That's what I'm doing in my office when I'm motivating, when I'm inspiring, when I'm reminding people who they are. I know you might feel broke, busted, disgusted right now, like nothing is working out for you. But I'm not even talking to that version. I'm talking to the version of you that I know in there. I'm talking to the version of you that booked this appointment, because if you really believed there was no help for you, you wouldn't be on YouTube looking for a solution. If you really believed that there was no help for you, you would— you would be gone already. If you really believed that it was no other options, we wouldn't even be talking right now. So I'm talking to the version of you that booked this appointment. I'm talking to the version of you that got you dressed and drove you to this. Oh, I'm talking to that version of you. This version of you that I can't do it, I ain't even talking to him because he's not gonna be able to hear me anyway. I'm— we on 2 different frequencies. I'm talking to the inside of you. I'm talking to the God inside of you. And as we keep talking to that part, that part starts to come to the forefront, and that part starts to take charge. I don't know how we got here, but somebody needed to hear it or else we wouldn't be here. You You can be, do, and have anything you desire. Your only limit in life is your own imagination. If you can think it, you can do it. If you can feel it, you'll do it on accident. Every solution has a problem, and every problem has a solution. The bigger the problem, the bigger the solution. If you're in a season in your life where you got a big problem, if you're in a season in your life where you got a gigantic problem, that means it's a big solution. It's a gigantic solution. With your name on it. What I need you to do is take your faith out of the problem and free your faith up so you can put it into your solution. If you're using all the faith on the problem, what, what faith do you have left for the solution? If there, if there's a problem, there's a solution. Everything has 2 sides. You've never seen a one-sided sheet of paper. Never. You've never seen a one-sided slice of bread. You've never seen a one-sided situation. Everything has two sides. Everything has two sides. So focus on the side that benefits you. Focus on the side that aligns with your desired outcome. As you focus on it, I'm telling you, when you're focusing on what you want, you're gonna see ideas and opportunities that you can't see when you focus on what you don't want. When you put your attention on what you want, You gonna accidentally find yourself in the right place at the right time. People want to help you when you focus on what you want. Like, you ever meet somebody— like, you guys ever watch Shark Tank, right? And sometimes somebody might come on there, they don't know their numbers, they, they not really good at business, they marketing is— yeah, the sales not really there. But one of the sharks goes, I want to take a chance on you, I see something in you. I, I don't know, I just get this feeling I see something in you. Winners recognize winners, and when you're a winner, winning not attached to a result. This is good, we're going somewhere. Winning is not attached to a result, okay? Winning is attached to how you show up day in, day out. Michael Jordan didn't win every single game, but he won more than he lost because of how he showed up on the regular. We're not gonna say he a winner because of the game. We're not gonna say he a loser because of the games he didn't win. Because of how he overall showed up, he's an undeniable winner. Muhammad Ali wasn't undefeated, but because of how he overall showed up, he's a winner. Right now, as I'm doing this live stream, it's not 100 people in here. But because of how I'm showing up, because I'm doing what I came to do, I'm communicating what I came to communicate, I'm on the assignment that God put me on, I'm winning. Stop basing how you feel based on what's going on out there. Stop measuring your performance based on what's going on out there. Because sometimes you got to have 100 good performances, 1,000 good performances Before out there starts to give you your credit. So if you give two good performances but you quit because out there isn't patting you on the back yet, sometimes the applause take a while to catch up, man. But it don't—it's not a sign to quit. It's not. Somebody asked me just yesterday on TikTok, "Why doesn't this video have more views? It's so good. This information is so." I don't know, but I'm gonna—I'm gonna keep making content to make you ask that same question. I'm not gonna stop doing what I'm doing because. Out there hasn't caught up. Out there is always the last to catch up. We got these three planes of existence: spirit, mind, and body. Right? Body physical out there is always the last to catch up. But if you got it in spirit and you got it in mind, you two-thirds of the way. That last third gonna catch up when it catch up. But don't interrupt the momentum of the other two-thirds because the last third, the third, the third that you know to be the slowest third hasn't caught up yet. We know it's slow. We know it takes time to catch up. And let me tell you something, the bigger, the bigger the thing that you bringing into that 3rd dimension, the longer it takes. Like, it takes a human 9 months to have a baby. It takes an elephant about 18 months to have a baby. If you giving birth to something big, it got to cook inside of you longer. You got to pick up more momentum. It's going to take longer for everything to formulate. Give it time. Don't unbury it. Don't dig up the seed. Leave the seed in the ground. Because you think it's going slow in the ground, what do you think gonna happen when you dig it up? If it was going too slow for you in the ground, you gotta know it ain't gonna move at all once you take it out the ground. Leave the seed in the ground. Leave the seed in the ground, man. If you can think it, you can do it. If you can feel it, you'll do it on accident. How would I feel if I was already that version of myself? Let me get in meditation and practice that feeling. How would I feel if I already had the successful business? How would I feel if the money was already in the bank account? How would I feel if I was already to the point of the business where the new car smell was gone? How would I feel? How would I feel like I've been living this for a year already? I've been living this for 2 years already. How would I feel? Then you design the website from that feeling. You start networking from that feeling. I don't want you out networking while you becoming a successful entrepreneur. I want you to already have successful entrepreneur all over you by the time you walk into that networking meeting. They can tell by the way you walk in the room, there's something of value there. They can tell by the way you carry yourself. They can tell by the way you form your sentences. Oh, it's something there. Don't be out in public waiting on other people to give you permission to be what you desire to be. Now you do the becoming in your bedroom. You do the becoming in your recliner. You do the becoming and you get in your car on your lunch break, close your eyes and feel yourself as the person you desire to be. You don't wait on nobody else to announce you what you desire to be. You Close your eyes and become it, man. Stop waiting on them. They finicky. Yeah, you jumping through all types of holes. How you going up and down around us? Stop, stop depending on them for for confirmation, man. They can't confirm shit. Who are they to confirm, man? Get out of here. I'm talking for this hypothetical person that I'm talking to piss me off. Who are they? Who are they to confirm your greatness, man? It's your greatness. Come on. What Katt Williams say? It's self-esteem. It's esteem of your motherfucking self. What are you talking about, man? Come on here. Quit playing. Quit playing. If you could think it, you could do it. If you could feel it, you would do it on accident, man. Your only limit is you. Your only limit is you. I love y'all. Ain't a thing you could do about it. If you catch this replay, man, watch it, take notes, listen. I'm Coach Jay. I'm located in Dallas. So if you located in Dallas and you want to pull up on me, pull up. If you're not located in Dallas, we do virtual sessions, man. Hypnosis Dallas. Tx.com. And if you go down in the description or just go on our YouTube page, man, you can find whatever you need to find. Check us out on TikTok, iCoachBosses, all one word. I'm finna land this plane, man. I love y'all, ain't a thing y'all can do about it. Thanks for kicking it with me. I'll see y'all later.
