Coach Jay, a hypnotherapist and performance coach, teaches his 5 C's framework: Clarity, Calibration, Confidence, Competence, Consistency. He argues every problem is a thinking problem, and purposeful thinking reshapes reality. He uses the acorn-to-oak metaphor to explain how visualizing your desired outcome and rehearsing it internally creates breakthroughs.
Chapters
What's up? What's up? So I was already live and my phone just kicked me off. I don't know what happened. It just kicked me off. So we gonna do this again. We gonna do this again. What is up? What is up? What is up? What is up? Y'all get on in here. Tap the screen. Share the live. Shut the light, tap the screen. What is up? What is up? What is up? Okay, got her schedule. Got that invoice sent out. What's good? What's good? What's good? As you guys come into the room, man, let me know where you tapping in from. Chop it up with me. Keep me company. YouTube is one of the platforms that I want to start going on, going live more on. So y'all come on in, hang out with us, chop it up. Got any questions about hypnosis, about self-development, about reprogramming your subconscious? Let's talk. Let's talk. Let's talk. Let's talk. While the room pick up a little traction, I'm gonna be on here. Um, getting ready to do a Valentine's Day special, so I'm gonna be sending out those messages for that. But yeah, I'm here. We kicking it. We vibing. Hopefully we don't get kicked off this time. I'm not sure what happened last time when we got kicked off. But we back, we back, we back, we back. This your first time kicking it? I'm Coach Jay, my high performance hypnotist. I hypnotize athletes, entrepreneurs, executives, high performers. I'm a big believer that every problem is a thinking problem. If you could think it, you could do it. If you can't think it, go sit down, go sit down. But while you're sitting down, guess what? Perfect time for you to start thinking. If you just start thinking on purpose, I'm telling you, man, if you just start using your mind on purpose, you accidentally come up with some real good ideas. You accidentally change your YouTube algorithm. You accidentally listen to some new books and find some new podcasts and meet some new people, man. When I started thinking on purpose My life started changing quick. Now I'm not talking over years, I'm talking months of thinking on purpose. My life started changing quick when I started using my attention on purpose, when I started building my expectations on purpose, when I started using my focus on purpose. I'm telling you, man, you will accidentally come up with some real cool stuff when you start thinking on purpose. When you start realizing every problem is a thinking problem, and if it wasn't a problem in here, it couldn't be a problem out there. When you stop spending so much time working on what's going on out there and start working on what's going on in here, oh man, you hit the cheat code. You hit the cheat code when you start working on this. It had to happen here first. You couldn't quit out there if you didn't quit in here. You couldn't screw it up out there if you didn't screw it up in here. You gotta get it right in here. You don't gotta change your life. You don't gotta change your habits. You gotta change your mind. But if you change your mind, you accidentally change your life and your habits. What's going on, John? How you doing? Welcome to the live. If you change your mind, you accidentally change your body language. If you change your mind, you accidentally change the way you price your services. If you change your mind, you accidentally change your friends. You accidentally change your bank account. You accidentally change your health. If you change your mind— my day going good, John. What about yourself? You can be, do, and have anything you desire. Nothing can stop you. Nothing can stop you. If you can think it, you can do it. But you gotta understand that work in both directions. If you could think success, you could do success. If you could think entrepreneur, you could do entrepreneur. But if you think in fear, if you think in doubt, if you're thinking about things that make you anxious, you're gonna do that. Your body is following your thoughts. Your body is following your thoughts. You gotta think on purpose. You gotta get in the habit of telling your thoughts what to think and telling your feelings what to feel. And you gotta have a goal. You gotta have a goal. I coach a lot of people and I meet most of the people I meet, they don't have goals. Well, and then if you say, hey, so do you have a goal? They'll say, yeah. You say, okay, tell me your goal. Well, you know, no, I don't know. And you, and you don't either. You got a direction that you walking in, but you gotta have a goal, man. You, you out here grinding your ass off for a finish line that you haven't even defined. And when you don't know how long the race— you want to race, you don't know if you got 15 miles to go, 2 miles to go, 100 miles. You don't know where the finish line is. You haven't set a point to say, okay, did I achieve what I'm after? You gotta have a goal. You end up walking in circles when you don't have a goal. It's hard to get momentum when you don't have a goal. Confidence, forget about it when you don't have a goal. Confidence is literally your belief in your ability To achieve a specific outcome. If you don't got a specific outcome, how are you supposed to become confident? You think you got a confidence problem; you got a clarity problem. You don't know where you're going. It's not that you just not a confident person, but if you don't know where you're going, you don't know what to be confident in. And another thing you gotta understand about confidence: you confident in something. Like when people goes, Jay, I need to work on. I don't have confidence. Oh, you got confidence. Right now it sounds like your confidence is in your failure, but you, you confident in something. Close to Jay, I'm not— I need to be more disciplined. You disciplined in something. You're doing something religiously. I don't know if it's YouTube. I don't know if it's Netflix. I don't know if it's— you're doing something religiously. It's not that you're not disciplined. It's not that you're not focused. It's that you're not— you don't got a goal to point that focus at, to point that discipline at, so you end up being in circles. It's something you, you did religiously already. You already a very disciplined person. You already living most of your life on autopilot. We just gotta design the program on purpose. We just gotta start living on purpose. If you start living on purpose, you will be surprised what you achieve on accident. You start waking up on purpose, getting out of bed on purpose, walking out your front door in the morning on purpose. You'll be surprised what you accomplish. I actually am not. You'll be surprised at the people you start meeting and the numbers that end up in your phone, how your network start expanding and good ideas start finding you and good opportunities start finding you. You'll go from this place where you looking for good opportunities to where they just— you just in the right place at the right time saying the right stuff to the right people. But you gotta start living on purpose. You gotta understand you have a purpose. You had a purpose before you had a name. Because God just that type of creator. God is very linear when it comes to creation. He don't create out of order. He creates— he's an orderly creator. It didn't say in the beginning it was black void and without form and God said let there be Adam. If you pay attention, you'll notice that Adam was one of his last creations. By the time he created Adam, he had a place for Adam to exist and a job for Adam to do. He had a purpose for Adam to fulfill. Okay, God didn't change his order of creation when it came to you. He didn't create you and say, I don't know, we gonna, gonna figure out a purpose for you later. Nah, you had a purpose before you had a name. You had a purpose before you had a heart. You had a purpose before you had parents. But you find it hard to activate that purpose when you living on accident, man. And the purpose in you Well, like, I have my clients carry around acorns in their pocket. I want you— and I tell them, what I want you to do is I want you to get to the place where when you look at that acorn, you don't even see an acorn, you see an oak tree. Every time you look at that acorn, I want you in your mind to say, that's an oak tree. I want you to get in the habit of seeing oak trees where other people see acorns. What that's going to do is that's going to give you crazy— a crazy advantage as an entrepreneur, as an athlete, as a As a parent, as a spouse, it's gonna give you crazy advantages in every area of your life. Because when you get to the point where you can see an oak tree where other people see acorns, that means you can see a multi-billion dollar business where other people see, man, that's a good idea, too bad the economy is— nah. When you can see, when you can look at acorns and see oak trees, you could be in a stream with 2 people in it and it's not going to affect your body language, it's not gonna How you feel is not gonna affect your energy because you've trained your mind to see the potential in things. You change— you've trained your mind to say, well, duh, 2 people gotta come before 5 people can come before it can be 10. Gotta be 2 before it could be 5. It gotta be 5 before it could be 10. Duh. Yeah, it's a seed. But when you learn how to see the full-blown thing where other people see just the seed, oh man, massive cheat code in life. Do yourself a favor. Do yourself that favor. Discipline yourself to see acorns, to see oak trees where other people see acorns. Do that for yourself, man. You owe that to yourself. If you can think it, you can do it. If you can't think it, give up, man. Go sit down. But I'm not saying give up in the sense of you can't have it. What's going on, Yasmin? How you doing? I'm saying go sit down so that you can think about what you want. If you— I'm telling you, man, I'm telling you. Hope that you— I'm having an amazing day. What about yourself? Yeah, if you can think it, you can do it. If you can't think it, you can't do it, man. You got to be able to do it in your head before you can do it with your hands. If you can't hold it in your head, don't expect to hold it in your hands. You got to be able to see it in here. You can't build a business out there that you haven't built in here. For sure, you ask me. You can't build a relationship out there that you haven't even built in here. You can't create a result out there that you haven't created in here. But if you just create the result in here and you keep sitting with it, you keep spending time with it, I'm telling you, man, the ideas gonna start showing up. The opportunities gonna start showing up. The words gonna start finding their way into your mouth. Things start happening. Every— like, look around, look around wherever you sitting. I don't care if you're at work, at home, in your car, on the bus. Look around. Everything that you see— What's going on, Bessie? Everything that you see was once just an idea. Everything that you see was once just an idea in somebody's mind. YouTube was once just an idea in somebody's head. This ring light that I got off to the side was once just an idea in somebody's head. This iPhone, this MacBook, this desk, this chair was once just an idea in somebody's head. You gotta start, you gotta start appreciating your ideas. You gotta start spending time with your ideas because your ideas just as good as their ideas. They don't got no extra parts on their brain that you don't have. They ain't— they— everything they got, you got. You got to start taking your ideas serious. You got to start sitting with them. You got to start entertaining them. You got to start breathing life into them. And I want you to start looking at your ideas like a pregnancy, right? When a woman is pregnant with a baby, she doesn't have to walk around with a checklist and go collect body parts. You've never seen a pregnant woman walk around saying, hey, you know, I can get 3 trillion cells. Yeah, see, I need 3 trillion cells. I need a heart. Oh my God, where am I gonna get some lungs? She don't gotta go out and build the baby. What she has to do is give the baby an environment to grow in. She don't gotta make the baby grow. She don't gotta force the baby. She has to give the baby an environment to grow in. You don't gotta build the business. What's going on, Lux? You don't gotta build the business. What you gotta do is stop aborting the business. You gotta give the business an environment to grow in. You gotta stop what ifing it today. What if the economy? What if? What if you focus on the goal and get so distracted by the goal that all that other stuff just is outside of your awareness? What if you decide I'm doing this no matter what and lock in? I bet the ideas gonna start flowing. I bet the opportunities gonna start showing up. It's good to see you too. How you doing today? If you can think it, you can do it. If you can't think it, you can't do it. I think I'm gonna start going live a lot more overall YouTube looks. We're gonna see, we're gonna see. We're doing— we're gonna do a test run. I'm gonna get on here all of this week, see how— see how I feel about it. What I'm noticing is when I do the YouTube lives, they show up on our local Google search. So I like that, I like that, I like that, I like that. So we gonna be over here kicking it, hanging out a little bit, just seeing how it go. I'm gonna go do a few of them from my phone, then I'm gonna do some from my, um, from my computer as well, just to see, see what I like. If I got new people in here, man, say something, introduce yourself. I'm Coach Jay. I'm a clinically trained hypnotherapist. I hypnotize athletes, entrepreneurs, executives, day traders, people in sales, poker players, all types of people, man. Help them, help them get this in order. Help them get this in order. I'm thinking about how to put myself out there and differentiate myself from others in my industry. What do you do, Purple? What you do, Lux? What do you do? I had several ideas, but I didn't know how to produce them. Only to see them materialized by someone else later. For sure, bestie. And I teach something called the 5 C's. You can kind of see it back there on that board. We don't even build it until step 4. The first 3 steps happen in here. So the 5 C's are clarity, Calibration, confidence, competence. That's where we do stuff at consistency, clarity, calibration, confidence, competence, consistency. Now, in my experience, and I've coached thousands of people, in my experience, step one is you got to get clear. You can't get what you want until you know what you want. And what I see so many times is people are trying to figure out what they want, what they want to build. At the same time, they figure out how to build. That's 2 separate steps. You can't do those things at the same time. I meet a lot of my younger entrepreneurs— not even all the young, some of them are older— but I meet a lot of entrepreneurs that when you go on their website, you confused. You don't know if they want to do your taxes, if they want to keep your books, if they want to sell you life insurance. Are you a speaker? Are you a consultant? I'm confused. What, what do you do? That lets me know that you didn't do those 5 steps in order. You were building this website as you were picking out the colors, as you were writing the copy, as you were designing the pricing. You was doing everything at once. So when I look at this website, I can tell because it confuses the hell out of me. Even if I wanted to spend money with you, I don't— I'm not quite sure what to pay you for. So that's why we don't even try to figure out the how before we do the what do I want. That's step 1. Get crystal clear about what you want. Most people, when I first meet them, they are experts at what they don't want. They got clarity, but they got clarity about what they don't want. And I look at that like, that's like getting in a taxi and telling the driver where not to take you. Like, imagine if you a taxi driver, right? And you pull up to pick somebody up and they say, hey, don't take me to the mall. I hate the mall. You say, okay, cool. You hate the mall. Where do you want to go? Man, I hate the mall. It's too expensive. I'm not paying no $300 for no one pair of shoes. They lost their mind, man. Other time I was in the mall, I saw a pair of jeans, man. You're not gonna— I saw a pair of jeans that cost $175. Then you got these teenagers up here, their parents not watching them, man. You know what's wrong with this generation? What I don't know is where you want to go. That's how a lot of people go through life, clear about what they don't want, never tell you, okay, well, where, where do I want to go? So that's step one, we figure out where we want to go. Now, part 1B is we got to figure out how we feel if we already had it. What would be my internal dialogue if I was already at this place that I want to go? What would I think? What would I feel? What would I focus on? What would I expect? What would be my narrative if I was already there? Now, once we know what we want and who we would be if we had it already— oh, I love the word be. Once I know what I desire and who I would be if I had it already, we move to the second C, which is calibration, because I got to calibrate myself to become that version of myself. I've defined what I wanted. I defined who I would be if I already had it. So this is the cheat code. I'm going to become that version of myself before I even try to build it. Does that make sense? I'm going to get clear about what I want. Then I'm going to get clear about how I would feel. What would I think? What would I expect? What would be my internal dialogue? If I already had it before I go out there and try to build it, I'm gonna get calibrated to that internal dialogue. Like I'm just starting to stream on YouTube, right? So let's say oh man, let's say I look and say oh man, it's only five people here. I've been on for almost twenty minutes and it's only five people here. Man, I want a hundred people here. I really want a hundred people in the YouTube. I want a hundred people on the YouTube. I want the chat moving fast. I want people asking questions. I want people subscribing. I want 100 people on the channel. Okay, who would I be if I already had 100 people, man? If I already had 100 people in the room, I have my shoulders back, my chest out, my chin up. I'll be communicating clearly. I would have the energy up. I'll be energized. I'll be on point. Okay, I'm going to do that now. I'm going to become him now. There's no point in me trying to get the 100 people in the room and I haven't even became him. I'm gonna become him. And if I just keep showing up as him, guess what's gonna happen to that number? It's gonna steadily go up and up and up. And I did it on several platforms. But if you see, oh man, it's only 5 people in here, and you get calibrated to what's out there instead of where you headed in here, then you're gonna stay stuck right there. Does that make sense? If you latch on to what's out there, you got to understand it. What's going on out there is a result of the thinking you've done up to this But just because you just made a new decision now, out there isn't going to instantly catch up. Out there always has a time delay. You don't have the baby the day you get pregnant. You don't get the oak tree the day that you plant the acorn. Out there has a time delay. So when you first set something in here, who would I be if I already had it? Let me become that version now, and my job is to remain that version while out there catches up. I gotta remain that version of myself while out there catching stuff. That brings us to the third C, confidence. We get clear about what we want, we calibrate to what we want, and we keep calibrating, we keep calibrating, we keep becoming that version of ourselves until it becomes our personality. That's what I call confidence. Confidence is when I define what I want, I define who I would be if I already had it. I've been that person consistently over and over and over again. I'm finding opportunities in my day to be that. If I was already him, how would I walk into the room? If I was already him, how would I pose this question? If I was already him, what would I be thinking? What would I be— I ran that in my mind so much that now I'm confident in my thing that I desire. Most people are confident in what they don't want. We don't. We flip the script over here. Before we even start building it, we become confident in what we want. Then we move to step 4, which is competence. This is where we build it. But you gotta understand, this time as you build it, you're clear, calibrated, and confident. When you're clear, calibrated, and confident, your reticular activation system is allowing things into your awareness that the old you would have never saw. Your endocrine system is pushing different hormones into your bloodstream that the old you weren't getting. Your nervous system is comfortable with this thing that you ask. A lot of times we be asking for stuff that our nervous system is Afraid of because your nervous system works on familiar and unfamiliar. If it's familiar, it's good. If it's unfamiliar, it's bad. So you asking to quadruple your income, and your nervous system saying, "Man, I don't want all that money. More money, more problems." I heard that song when I was little. I know what happened when I get more money. So you're trying to force something that your nervous system like nah. But because we flipped the script, we got clear about what we want, who and who about who we would be if we already had it. Then we calibrated that target. We made that familiar. To our nervous system. Now that that's familiar to our nervous system and our nervous system is confident in this outcome, our nervous system is going to help us get it. Then and only then do we do step four, which is doing stuff. Does that make sense? And the last C is consistency. You're gonna do that over and over and over and over and over again. Like a lot of times people ask me, how long does hypnosis last? Or if I work with you and you and you know you retrain my mind, how long does it last? That's it. As long as you keep doing the things that we did to retrain your mind. I look at it like if I started working out with a trainer and this trainer is showing me how to eat and showing me how to work out and I build this body that I want, I got this six-pack and I said, all right, trainer, I've learned what I need. Thank you for helping me get my six-pack. Appreciate you. Now, if I stop doing the things that the trainer had me do in a month or two, that six-pack is gone. If I want to keep the six-pack, I got to keep doing the things that I did to get So if, if you get hypnotized to be confident and be able to walk in the rooms with your shoulders back, your chest out, and your chin up, you got to keep thinking the thoughts that produce that feeling. You got to keep focusing on the things that produce that feeling. You got to keep using this on purpose. You got to keep noticing the things that you was noticing when you felt that way. You got to keep expecting the things that you was expecting when you felt that way. Now, if you go and start using this on Using purpose, you're going to start to feel that your way. mind the same way you was using it before we met, you gonna go back into those same patterns that I found you in. Please make sure you like the live so it gets pushed through. Yeah, y'all hear Purple? Do exactly what Purple said. Do exactly what Purple said. But is this stuff making sense, man? If you can think it, you can do it. If you can't think it, sit down. Sit down. But while you're sitting down, man, great time for you to start thinking on purpose. Real good time for you to start thinking on purpose. Nothing can stop you except for you. Nothing can stop you except for you. ADD can't stop you. ADHD can't stop you. Getting laid off can't stop you. The algorithm not pushing it like you want to can't stop you. Nothing can stop you. Now, there's all sorts of stuff that you can get distracted by and quit, but don't make no mistake, that thing didn't stop you. That's just what had your attention. When you quit, that's what happens when when you quit. You tell your nervous system, "Stop giving me ideas. Stop scanning for opportunities. Stop processing and looking for ways to make this work." I quit. Keep show. Keep giving your subconscious mind flashes of that goal, flashes of that desired outcome. Watch how you start noticing things that just been there the entire time. You just didn't notice them before. Get yourself a goal. Get yourself a goal. If you could think it, you could do it. If you can't think it, you can't do it. If this is your first time here, I'm Coach Jay. I'm a high-performing psychologist. This YouTube, man, hit that subscribe button. First off, even more important than what we talking about right now, we got a vast library over here on YouTube. Over 700 videos on the YouTube channel. I don't even know when I had time to record 700 videos, but they on there. I didn't even know it was in me. One day I was on my YouTube page and it was a— it said videos. It was like drop down, it was like 735 videos. I said, who recorded all these videos? But that's what happened when you calibrate. That's what happened when you locked in and you focus on which— man, you'll put your head up one day and say, damn, I did that? When did I do it? Oh wow, okay, why I built this business, that business, that Wow, I coached him. Wow. Man, focus on what you want. Stop getting distracted by what you don't want. Put your undivided attention on what you would like to have and spend as much time as you can focusing on it. Where attention goes, energy flows. You got to stop putting so much attention on the problem. You got to stop staring at the problem, studying the problem, dreaming about the problem, writing about the problem, praying about the problem. At some point, you got to talk about your solution. Every problem has an equal opposite. Every problem has an equal opposite. You got to stop focusing on the problem and start focusing on its equal opposite. Start focusing on its equal opposite. I promise you, you're going to come up with some really good ideas. I promise you, you're going to meet some people who not only can help you but will help you. You probably know some people right now who can help you, but Unfortunately, from their frequency, you only— you're on that frequency of not having. They can't even help you. You gotta— sometimes you be so busy not having that you can't have. I have ideas and inventions but need to get them out of my mind and produce. You need to just keep thinking about them. You need to keep breathing life into them, Bessie. And you got to ask yourself, who would I be if this was already on the shelf? What type of thoughts would I be thinking if this was already being used all over the world? What type of feelings would I be feeling if people all over the world were already using this? What would be my expectation if people all over the world was already using this, this, this invention? Build that in here before you try to build that invention out there. But as you build those beliefs and those thoughts in here, it's going to change the way you see things. It's going to change your area of possibility. And as you stretch that, you're gonna start noticing that, wait, that's right here in the same city as me. Well, let me give them a call. Wait, that's all it costs? Yeah, man, I've been letting $300 stop me. Become the version of you who already has it. And I'm telling you, you— it's the— it's gonna feel different from there. Don't even try to use— I tell my people all the time, willpower cannot be the center of your self-development strategy. energy is finite. Willpower is based largely on how much sleep you got last night and how much protein you got in your body right now. Most people don't got enough of either, and willpower, it dwindles through that. You don't want willpower to be the center of your motivation strategy. You want, as Napoleon Hill would say, a burning desire to be the heart of your, of your self-development strategy. I want you to get so excited about this product being on shelves. I want you to get so excited about this product creating generational wealth for your I want you to allow your thoughts to build as if they've already happened, your expectations to shift as if they've already happened. Become that version of you, and the way you talk about it gonna change. You're gonna start talking about it in a way where people pull you to the side and say, hey, Bessie, um, I hope I'm not too late. Are you taking investors? Now, if the version of you that don't have it start talking about it, people be nice, they'll listen, but they not gonna pull All of that. But if you become the version of you that already has it, it's already on the shelf, and you start talking about from there, now people can see what you see, they can feel what you feel, and they not—they're not stupid. They—they hear a good opportunity. When people hear a good opportunity, they won't end on a good opportunity. So this version of you can't convince them. This version of you can't get the loan, can't get the funding. That's this version of you can't. But the good news is you built this version of you. And if you built this version of you, you could build another version of you. So let's build a version of you that can do it. One time I was coaching this lady and she was telling me that it took her 10 years to leave her husband. And she saw my face as she said it. She said, what? I said, it don't take 10 years to do much of anything. You can damn near become a doctor in 10. It didn't take you 10 years to leave your husband. It took you 10 years to become the version of yourself that wasn't afraid to leave. Or the version of yourself that was afraid but was going to do it anyway. It took you 10 years to become the version of yourself who said, okay, I'm going to hit the reset switch. I'm going to do this myself. I'm going to trust myself. But once you became that version of you, it took you a drive down to the courthouse to file some papers. It's not like doing it is rarely the part that screws people up. The part that's screwing people up is they got to become the version of them that can do it. it. Become the version of you that, that, that has inventions on the— become that version of you in here. You can't have it out there until you have it in here. Everything happens in here first, Bessie. Think about it. When you wake up in the morning and you get dressed, you might say, okay, it's going to be a little cool today, I'm gonna put some sleeves on, I want to be comfortable, put this— you get dressed in here, then you get dressed out there. When it's time to eat, you go
