How to Master Your Mindset: Unlock Success and Take Control of Your Life

What's good? What's good? What's good? Welcome to the live. Welcome to the live. How y'all doing today, man? How y'all doing today? Y'all get on in here. Get on in here. Let's talk about how to master your mind. How to master your mindset. You can't master this mind. You ain't got to worry about mastering this body. If you can't control that mind, then controlling that body is out of the question. What's going on, Jeffrey? How you doing? Welcome, welcome, welcome, man. Hopefully everybody having a phenomenal day. What's going on, Mariah? How you doing? Welcome, welcome, welcome, man. Get on in here. You know for a fact, right? Let me tell you something. You could be doing, have anything you desire. Your only limit in life is your own imagination. If you could think it, you could do it. If you can't think it, you can't do it. But you can think it. Are you willing to discipline your mind? Are you willing to master your mind? If you master the mind, this will take care of itself. If you master the mind, this will take care of itself. You got to master your mind. You got to realize that your mind is not you. Your mind is a tool that you use. And sometimes we get in the habit of letting our thoughts think us. We're not even thinking our thoughts. Sometimes our thoughts thinking us. We're not choosing anxiety, we just ending up there because we're not controlling this. We're not choosing poverty, we just ending up there because we're not controlling this. We don't got goals, we don't got intentions. You gotta understand that your intentions control your attention. When you don't got any intentions, your attention is up for grabs. And I need you to get some clear goals in your life so you can start walking through life on purpose. You're not an accident. You are not an accident. You could be doing, have anything that you desire, and it's time to start living like that. It's time to start taking you serious. Nobody else ain't gonna take you serious until you take you serious. Nobody else ain't gonna take their business serious until you take that business serious. It's time to bet on you. It's time to get clear about what you want and start focusing on it on purpose. We got to learn how to control our focus. We got to quit letting our minds jump all over the place. We got to quit reacting all of the time. We got to get in the habit of getting out of bed even before we go to bed that night before Deciding what the next day is going to look like, asking yourself, what type of energy do I want to take into the next day? What type of thoughts would I like to wake up thinking? I don't got to think that way just because that's how I thought yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity to think different, to be different, to do different, to have different, unless you keep thinking the same way. Thoughts turn into things. Good and bad. Good thoughts turn into good things. Bad thoughts turn into bad things. Everything starts as a thought. What do you want? Your desire, that's a thought. The things that you want, those are thoughts. If you start sitting with them, they pick up momentum. What if I told you you don't got to try to be successful? If you start thinking in a successful way, if you start thinking in terms of success If you start focusing on success, you will start to move that way on accident. You don't got to try to be successful even more anymore than you got to try to be anxious. You ain't got to try to be confident even more than you got to try to be depressed. What you got to do is learn how to focus on things that energize you. You got to focus on things that excite you. You got to focus on things that motivate you. You got to focus on things that inspire you. Follow me. When you focus on a sad movie, you ain't got to try to feel sad. Just, just focus on the damn movie. You focus on a funny movie, you ain't got to try to laugh. Just focus on the movie. If you focus on the erotic movie, you ain't got to try to get activated. You ain't gonna try to get turned on. Just focus on the movie. Where attention goes, energy flows. Where attention goes, energy flows. Put your attention on what you want and hold it there. You got to learn how to control your focus. You got to stop getting distracted with other people's life. You got to stop getting distracted with what's going on over there. I want you so wrapped up in what's going on right here that other people's life becomes background noise. You got to be selfish with your attention. You got to be so wrapped up in what you got going on to other people's stuff just not that exciting to you. Forget reality TV. Your life is your reality TV. Focus on what you want. But hear me when I say this, you can't get what you want until you know what you want. Do you know what you want? I know you know what you don't want, but you gotta understand that knowing what you don't want is not the same thing as knowing what you would like to have. Do you know what you want? Imagine getting in a taxi and saying, hey, don't take me to the mall, I hate them all. It's too many people there. I'm not paying no $200, $300 for no one pair of shoes. Don't take me to the mall. I'm not, I'm not with— don't take me to the mall. What is the driver supposed to do with that information? Imagine just getting in the taxi and telling the driver 10 places that you don't want to go. Where you gonna end up? That's how most people walk through life. They walk through life talking about what they don't want. They walk through life describing what they don't want. I wonder why they got so much of it. You vibrationally aligned to it. You focused on it. Where attention goes, that's your body follows. Your energy follows your attention. Stop putting your attention on what you don't want. What if I told you it takes the same— it takes the same amount of energy to come up with a good idea as it takes to come up with a bad idea? Think about that. It takes the same amount of energy to come up with a bad idea as it takes to come up with a good idea. It takes the same amount of energy to get confident as it takes to get anxious. What you got to control is your focus. So you want to let your focus run wild and then try to stop the anxiety. The anxiety is not the problem. The anxiety is the symptom. If you learn how to control your focus, we can stop the anxiety before it gets started. But you want to keep focusing on the thing that's giving you anxiety and try to manage the anxiety. Stop trying to manage the anxiety. Manage your focus. Manage your attention. Get you some actionable goals written down on paper. And when you get busy working, when you get busy building, you quickly realize I ain't really got no time to be anxious. When you sitting there lost in your thoughts of what you don't want, of course you're gonna feel anxious. That's how you wired as a human. Your feelings follow your focus. When you watching a funny movie, you don't got to try to laugh. Just, just lock in. Just watch the movie. But if you get clear about what you want, put that on paper where you can see it, and do the work of convincing yourself that I can have that— when you do the work of remembering this right here, this is an oak tree. This is an oak tree. The whole oak tree is in there. I'm holding this thing in between my two fingers and it's an oak tree inside of here. If God put an oak tree inside of here, imagine what God put in me. If you start focusing on that type of stuff, If you start focusing on the fact that I used to be a sperm cell and I wanted to be here so bad, I beat out 500 million other sperm cells because I wanted to fertilize the egg. That's who I am. I'm the sperm cell that beat the other 500 million sperm cells, and here I am. I'm me. If you start focusing on the right stuff, if you start remembering who you are, you will stumble into greatness. You will stumble into great— you will find that you can't lose for winning. You just get caught up in what we call success. Then you also start to realize that it's no such thing as failure. It's just feedback. It's just information. You start to welcome the failure because you realize that's what all the information is. Killing 2 businesses taught me how to build businesses. You know how I coach the way I coach now? I've had some shit that didn't work out that I had to figure out how to fix. A lot of people call it failure and take it as a sign to quit. No, failure is a sign to adjust. Failure is a chance to evolve. Failure is a chance to go, hey, that didn't work. Let's start fresh. Failure is a reset switch, if anything. Use it as such. You gotta control your focus. Do you know what you want? Do you know what you want? A lot of people out here trying to hit a target that don't exist and wonder why they not hitting it. Imagine being in the car, you just driving. Where you going, man? I don't know. Where you going? I don't know. What you mean you don't know, man? I'm just, I'm just out here. How you gonna know when you get there? I don't know. I know where I don't want to go. But you need a destination. Do you have a destination? I need you to have a destination in your business. I need to have a destination in your marriage. I need you to have a destination in your finances. I need you to have a destination in your health. You need goals because without clear destinations You give your attention to anybody and anything. Now tap the screen for me. You could be, do, and have anything you desire, but it's going to start with you getting clear about what you desire. You can master your mindset, but mastering your mind is going to require goals. Mastering your mind is going to require you getting clear about what you desire. Mastering your mind is going to take you sitting down and getting clarity. People who come here all the time already know about my 5C process. The first C is clarity, because you can't get what you want— appreciate y'all tapping the screen— until you know what you want. It's not enough to know what you don't want. You got to learn how to look at what you don't want and ask yourself, what would I rather have? It's a lot of beauty in what you don't want. All of these inventions we got came as a result of somebody looking at something and going, I don't like that, it's too slow. I don't like that. It's too hard. I don't like it. It shouldn't take that long. What if I could have this? Every, every great thing that we have comes from somebody saying, oh, I ain't on this whole horse and carriage thing. It's getting old. What if there was some type of way we can get something on some wheels with something to propel it forward? Hmm. You got to learn how they start getting happy when you realize you done outgrew something. You got to learn how to get excited when you outgrow a friendship. Not everybody's leaving me. They don't understand. Oh, I just made room for some new people and some new opportunities. None of my friends don't understand. Oh, it's time for some news. It's not personal. It's spiritual. You didn't evolve. Law of attraction say y'all don't need to kick it together every day no more. Y'all can still be friends, but y'all like associates now. You got some new friends at this new level. You so busy trying to hang on to the old ones that you missing out on all the stuff that's going on on this new level. Open yourself up for something new. Give yourself room to change and understand just because you thought those thoughts yesterday don't mean you got to think those thoughts today. You could be doing half anything. Why would you settle for what you've been getting? Your only limit in life is your own imagination. Your only limit in life is in between your two ears. If you can get rid of the limit in here, the limit will disappear out there. The limits that you see out there are projected from in here. The limits that you see out there are projections from in here. Everything is created from the inside out. You can't have a limit out there that don't exist in here. And a lot of us, uh, we got some programming when we were little that we got to work twice as hard to have half of that, and that certain things is not— you got to delete all that shit. You could be doing, have anything, and this version of you could be doing, have anything. Not some future version of you that's 100 pounds lighter, not some future version of you once the kids go off to college, not some future version of you that's finally in the perfect relationship, or not some future version of you that's in a new city. This version of you can be doing, have anything that you desire if you're willing to start controlling your focus. You got to realize that your mind is not you. Your mind is a tool, and I need you to start using the tool on purpose. And another thing you got to realize is just because you think something don't mean it's true. And I'm gonna tell you something else, and just because something true don't mean you got to think it. Those 2 sentences will break a lot of people free. Just because you think something don't mean it's true, and just because something is true don't mean you got to think it. And if you quit thinking it and thinking about it, it ain't got to be true 6 months from now. Right now it could be your truth that you 120 pounds overweight. That can be your truth right now. But if you take your mind off of that truth and put your mind onto this desire that you have, watch how you accidentally start moving towards the desire. But where attention goes, energy flows. But so if you keep putting your attention on the truth, you're gonna stay vibrationally locked in with that truth. Now if it's a truth you want, keep focusing on it. But if it's not a truth that you want You need to take your attention off of it and ask yourself the magic question. What's the magic question? What's the magic question? For my people who've been here for for a few streams, what's the magic question? What is the magic question? I'm gonna give y'all time. I know it'd be a slight delay in between me asking the question and TikTok giving y'all the question. That's why y'all got to get in our mastermind where you can get in the Zoom rooms and come, come kick it with us live. Let's get a little bit more light in here. We're gonna get ready to take things up a notch. Yeah, we're gonna get ready to take things up a notch. The magic question is, what would I rather have? What would I rather have? It's this time of year, we're gonna start back playing this game. What is this? What is this? If any of my OGs in here, I need you to be quiet for a moment. We're gonna do something. What is this? Thanks for the taps. Keep tapping, keep tapping, keep tapping. Come on, what is this? Let's go. New people who coming into the room, what is this? For those of you who don't know, I'm Coach J. I coach bosses. If you a boss, stay. If not, keep Keep moving. But, um, what is this? Come on, we waiting. I got time. What is this? I got a wide open schedule today, and I got a 1:30, but other than that, I got a wide open schedule. What's this? We're taking our time with this. What's this? Come on, this is important. What is this? What's going on, New Era? How you doing? Welcome to the live. What is this? What's up, Sherry? Welcome to the live. What's up, Yolanda? What is this, guys? Come on, somebody answer me. What is this? What's up? What's up? What's up? How y'all doing, man? Welcome to the live. Let's get up to 5,000 likes. What's up, Sunflower? How you doing? What's up, Sick? What's up, Timothy? What is this? What is this? What's up, I Am? What's up, Cafe? What's this, guys? A seed. Okay, so let me tell y'all something. From now on, when I ask what this is, this is an acorn. Okay, we're about to condition your mind to see this as an acorn— I mean, to see this as an oak tree. We gonna become the type of people— this is what leaders are, okay? Leaders are people who see oak trees where other people see acorns. Bosses are people who see full-blown businesses where other people see ideas. Bosses are people who see healthy bodies where other people see sickness. So the people come to this line, you're a boss by default, you're a boss by association, you're a boss just by being in here. So from now on, when we ask what this is, this is a— this is an old truth because that's how bosses think. Bosses see the potential in things and align with the potential in them and extract the potential out of them. The boss don't see the re— all the reasons that the idea won't work. The boss see the reasons why that idea has to work. Okay, this is an oak tree. Don't you ever forget it. I suggest you get one of these oak trees next time you go outside and just put it where you can see it. I keep oak trees all over the house. I got one on— I got one in the cup holder in the car. I got oak trees on my desk. I have oak trees in my pocket. I love oak trees. I keep them with me. This is an oak tree. Don't you ever forget it, okay? Your desire is the thing. Let me show you something. We talk about the same stuff every day because it don't change. So somebody see that and say, "Oh, that's just the acorn." But let me tell you something: the only difference between that and this is time. The only difference between this and this is time. This is this, and this is this. This is your desire. This is your desire for the money, and this is the money. This is your desire for love, and this is the love. Do you understand that the only difference between this and this is time? Okay. I need you to start getting excited about the idea because the idea is the thing. And as you sit with the idea, it picks up momentum. But if you don't sit with the idea, it never picks up momentum. Focusing on what you want is the equivalent of planting it in the ground. Because this don't just come— this don't become this if you just sit it on the counter. This don't become this if you don't put it in soil. But when you put this in soil and you let it get planted and you let it take root, I want you to imagine it as neural pathways in your mind. But when you let those neural pathways get connected in the mind, understand that these connections underground have to happen. Like, it's gonna grow this way before it starts to grow This way. So a lot of times you might think something in your life not working, but what's happened is the desire, the seed, is getting rooted in your mind. It's altering the neuroplasticity in your mind. It's literally happening, but it's happening down here first. Now once they get a root system and they can get nutrients and they can get the support it needs, then it starts to grow up. But if you dig the seed up while it's still underground because you think it's not working, because it's not manifesting out there yet, you didn't— you didn't set yourself up for failure. A young lady that I'm coaching, not too long ago, she told me, I'm tired of— I'm tired of starting over. I said, well, shit, quit giving up. You tired of starting over? Quit giving up. Quit digging up the seed. She said, "No, you don't understand. I've started over five times." I said, "Well, that means you quit four. Stop quitting if you tired of starting over. How many y'all tired of starting over? How many y'all tired of this new me, new year, new me bullcrap? What if what if you could start this one last time and just stay the course this time? Yeah, you tired of starting over. Stop stopping. Stop quitting and understand you could take a break without quitting." I take breaks all the time. What are the 5 C's? I give them to you in a minute. I take breaks all the time. Understand, it's the difference between taking a break to reset. It's the difference between taking a break to realign this, because the work is done in here. Make no mistake about it. The work is done in here. Make no mistake about it. By the time you get to the part where my body is doing something, my body is just reflecting what's already been done in here. You got to hold your success in here before you can hold it in your hands. And if you can't hold it in here, you'll never hold it in your hands. And that's how a lot of people shoot theyself in the foot. And the 5— we're gonna have that conversation within the 5C conversation. So does everybody understand that the only difference between acorn and oak tree is time? But that time has to be spent in the proper environment. Environment is important. That's why we got a free community. Well, it's not free, it's $1 for lifetime access because we made it free. But we saw how people treated free stuff, so we made it cost $1. We got a community that costs $1 because in that community it's not about the money. It's about putting people in an environment where they can be motivated, where they can be inspired, where they can see other entrepreneurs thriving and building and having success so it could push them into action. So if you could benefit from something like that, if you could benefit from a community of actionable people who gonna inspire you to take action and keep you motivated on days where you think about hanging up, you can go hanging it up. You can go in there and say, guys, I don't know, and they gonna say you done lost your mind. See you tonight at the mastermind. But if you could benefit from something like that, click the link in my bio and you're gonna join my mastermind. $1 for lifetime access. And y'all better join quick because that $1 is, um, it's been popping up a lot in my mind. That's not going to be there for much longer. It's way too valuable to be one freaking dollar. So y'all better get in there before that. That's going up very, very soon. But anyway, let's get into the 5 C's. Where's my eraser? Who know what the first C is? Why I'm getting this erased? Who can tell me what the first C is? Because some of these names I've been seeing, we should know what the first C is. You only care about survival? I mean, I care about thrival. I, I don't— I didn't come here to survive. I came here to thrive. And the surviving is encompassed in the thriving. If you thrive, you definitely gonna survive. But if you just survive, you ain't guaranteed to thrive. But if you thrive, you guaranteed to survive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The, the surviving to take care of itself while you in the midst of thriving. Don't limit yourself. What's the first C? Y'all don't know the first C? Let's get into it. First is clarity. Gotta be clear about what I want because I can't get what I want until I know what I want. Most people don't know what they want. Let's pin that to the top, April. Most people don't know what they want, and that's their biggest problem in life. Most people don't know what they want, and that's their biggest problem in life. They think they don't got clarity when what they don't— I mean, they think they don't got confidence when what they don't got is clarity. They think they can't— they think they don't got discipline, but what they don't got is clarity. You like, how do you be disciplined in something you don't even know what it is? You're not gonna be disciplined to losing some weight. You know what you're going to be disciplined to? Losing 100 pounds, wearing a specific size shirt, wearing a specific size in your jeans, wearing a specific size dress, having stamina for adult activity. That's the type of stuff you're going to be disciplined to. You're not going to be disciplined to I need to lose some weight. I'm tired of looking like— that's not going to produce discipline. That's not going to produce confidence. You can't— you're not going to be confident in, I got to get some more money in my pocket. You're going to be confident in, I got to figure out a way to make an additional $1,500 a month. I got to figure out a way that doing something I enjoy doing— I love, I love talking, I love communicating, I love networking— I want to use that skill to make extra $1,500 a month. Discipline is going to start from something like that. Confidence is going to start from something like that. Vagueness doesn't produce confidence. Vagueness doesn't produce discipline. You got to get clear about what you want. Okay, so after you get clear about what you want, you got to calibrate to what you want. Got to calibrate to what you want. What's calibrate? Focus on it. Get under the influence of it. When you calibrate to a funny movie, you ain't got to try to laugh. Just, just calibrate to the movie. If you calibrate to a sad movie, you ain't got to try to get sad. Just calibrate to the movie. Let me get y'all tapping the screen. If you calibrate to an action movie, you ain't got to try to get excited. Just calibrate to the movie. But if you get clear about what you want, you get clarity about what you want in life, and you start focusing on it, you ain't got to try to feel motivated. You ain't got to try to feel inspired. Just calibrate to your goal. Now, when you calibrate it to what you don't I don't want. It's, it's natural that you feel like shit. It's natural that you not taking action. When you calibrate to what you don't want, it's natural that you anxious. Get clear about what you want, get calibrated to that. Now, when you remain calibrated for a period of time, you will accidentally become confident. And the only thing confident is confident It's calibrating on accident. That's what that's what confidence is. Confidence is when you don't even really got to try to calibrate. You just calibrate it so much; it's in your nature. Confidence is when you so calibrated, it don't matter what they say on CNN. I don't calibrate to CNN. I'm calibrated to my clarity. I'm so calibrated to my clarity; it don't matter who win the election. I'm still doing what I set out to do. I don't care who in the White House. I'm not calibrated to who in the White House. I'm calibrated to my clarity. Confidence is when it don't matter if it's 8 people in the room or 8,000 people in the room. I'm not calibrated to that number. I'm calibrated to my clarity. But when I don't got my own clarity to calibrate to, I end up calibrated to any and everything. My, my— throughout the day, my mood is all over the place. I'm happy when I'm looking at this, but then I put my attention over there and now I don't feel good. Then I put my attention over here and I feel all right, but then I put my attention over here. Like, I'm at the mercy of everybody around me and everything around me when I don't have my own clarity to calibrate to. So you seeing the genius of this? Get clear about what I want, get calibrated to that, get so calibrated to it that I'm confident in my calibration. So it ain't nothing you can say to knock me off my high horse because I'm not calibrated to what you think about me. Okay, so calibration takes effort, but confidence is— that's just, it's just in my state. That's just my state. That's my personality now. I practice the calibration so much that that's just who I am now. I don't care if my mom don't agree with it. I'm not calibrated to my mom. And you gotta understand, I can love you and not be calibrated to you. People, people don't like to hear that. Well, if you love me, you'll do what I say. If that's what love mean to you, keep it. I don't want it. That go for parents, children, spouses. If I got to do what you say for you to know that I love you, you can take that love and shove it. I don't want it. I don't want negot— I don't want conditional, do what else, do whatever I say or else type of love. That's not what I'm— I don't want it because I, I, I, I had clarity and I had clarity when I met you. I was calibrated to something when I met you. Now I can add you to this calibration, but I'm not going to cancel out what was already here. Even with my parents, or even with parents, you guys, I came here with desires. I came here with energy already in me. God created— God gave me a purpose before you gave me a name. And I need you to start remembering that as you dealing with people. Look, God gave me a purpose before I even knew who you was. I came here with a purpose, Mom. I came here with a purpose, Dad. And just because you can't see that purpose That ain't got nothing to do with me, but I'm calibrated to my clarity, and I've been calibrating to it for so long, I'm confident in it. And if I got to stop being confident in this for us to have relationship, I'll see you when I see you. Hope it don't come to that, but that's how calibrated I am to this. And usually when people see how calibrated you is to that, they'll fold. Now, if you one foot in, one foot out, they'll usually win you over. But when you calibrated to this They'll go, man, that's just Jay. He gonna do what he want to do. We love him to death, but that— he always been like that. Get, get clear about what you want. Get calibrated to it and get so calibrated in it that it's confidence. People can just know, like, it ain't no— it ain't no talking him out of it. Does that make sense? So this is the foundation. This is what I call the foundation of success. If you don't got this You won't be successful, and you need all 3. You can't— and, and you got to get them in order. There's nothing to calibrate to without clarity. There's nothing to be confident in without clarity. Confidence is literally your— this is what confidence is. Confidence is your belief in your ability to achieve a specific outcome. If you don't know what the specific outcome is, how do you get confidence? Confidence requires this, and you can't get the confidence without calibrating. So when you first get clear about what you want, it might feel out of reach. It might feel impossible. That means you got to do some calibrating. What does calibrating look like? For some people, look like affirmations. For some people, it look like vision boards. For some people, it looks like scripting. For some people, it looks like focus wheels. For some people, it looks like being coached by me for a few weeks. For some people, it looks like getting hypnotized by me for a session or two. For some people, it looks like visualizing. For some people, it looks like role-playing. Everybody is different. But the thing about calibrating is you got to realize if it doesn't change the way you feel, it's never going to change the way you act. Calibration is about changing the way that you feel. It's not about logic. It's not about reason. It's not about analysis. It's not about willpower. Calibration is about getting myself to feel the way that I need to feel so that I can do the things that I need to do. Calibration is not about taking another course and learning something new. Calibration is not about investing in another piece of software. Calibration is not about getting another degree. So I— calibration is about changing the way I feel so that I can accidentally change the way that I think, so I can accidentally change the way that I act. Think about it. When you calibrate it to a pissed-off state, And you feel angry, you feel disrespected, you feel betrayed, you feel like somebody's doing something to you that they know that you know for a fact you would never do to them. When you feel that way, it's very easy for you to run off at the mouth and say things that you wouldn't typically say. And then when you calibrate to another state, you go, man, I really didn't have to say all that. I really do so much, so too much sometimes. But when you was calibrated to anger, it was in your natural— it was in your nature to say those things and do those things. Imagine how your life would change if we got you calibrated to success. If we got you calibrated to the idea that I could be doing have anything I desire. My only limit in life is my own imagination, and I believe it with every fiber of my being. Now, when I'm calibrated to that so much that I become confident in it, nothing nothing is out of reach. Okay? So that's why this is the foundation. The foundation is here because once I'm calibrated to my clarity. Nothing is too hard. When I'm calibrated to my clarity, nothing is impossible. When I'm calibrated to my clarity, no means nothing to me. When I'm calibrated to my clarity, I'm going to figure this out. Okay? Now, after calibration and confidence is established, now we move to step 4. Guys, listen to me. Step 4 is step 4. Step 4 is not step 1. Step four, step four. Step four is competence, aka the doing. Okay? Now don't misquote me. I'm not saying that doing isn't important. I'm saying that doing is step four. If you come to me and say, "Hey, Coach Jay, I really want to lose 100 pounds," I'm not telling you to go to Planet Fitness tomorrow. I'm not telling you to stop eating carbs tomorrow. I'm gonna say, "Bet, tell me about it." You want to lose 100 pounds? What size shirt you want to wear? Dope, dope, dope. What size jeans you want to wear? I love that. What size dress you want to wear? Okay, when you lose this 100 pounds, are you gonna still be in the one-piece swimsuit or you're gonna be more of a two-piece swimsuit? You're gonna be in a two-piece swimsuit. What color is the first two-piece gonna be? It's gonna be like a little all black, like polka dots, like what you feeling for that first swimsuit? Okay. You got a scale in your bathroom? Yeah, I got a scale. Describe the scale to me that you got in your bathroom. Uh, it's clear and it got like a silver strip on both sides. Okay. I want you to imagine standing on that scale. Look down and tell me what number you see. 285. Look down at that scale again. Tell me what number you see. 148. And as you look at that 148, how does that feel? Now I want you to imagine your husband just walked in and you standing on this scale, you're 148, you're 148 pounds. I want you to look over and notice how How does it feel to see your husband look at you that way? It feels good, don't it? Okay, I'm gonna get you clear about what you want. I want to wear this size shirt. I want to wear this size pants. I want to wear this size dress. I want to see this number on it. I'm gonna get you clear to what you want. Then I'm gonna get you calibrated to what you want, and I'm gonna get you confident in that calibration. So calibrating is easy when you're sitting and talking to me. I'm a clinical hypnotherapist. I've been hypnotizing people for 2 decades, so it's easy for you to Be calibrated when you talking to me, and I'm using certain words and anchors and embedded commands. I'm doing all type of linguistic tricks to help you calibrate. Confidence is when you can hold on to that feeling, and you're not in my office. Confidence is when you can hang on to that feeling, and you're not on a Zoom call with me. Confidence is when you can hang on to that feeling, and somebody calling you a stupid fat bitch, and you so calibrated to this till you go, baby, you could oh just oh I wish we could just jump six months into the future because. You gonna see, and you don't even feel the need to argue with her because you calibrated to this. Okay, this is why step 4 is step 4. A lot of times, you want me to tell you the reason most big— most new businesses fail is because people do this before they do this. I'm gonna start a business, I'm gonna write a business plan. Man, this bit, man, I don't— this business plan stuff is hard. No, it's not. You just ain't got no clarity, no calibration, and confidence. So you don't know where to start. You don't got a mission statement. You don't got no core values. You don't— how you gonna build it? You don't got no, no clarity. You don't got nothing to start from, man. I went networking, they was not messing with me, bro. I think it's because I'm Black. Yeah, you think it's because you Black? Well, what do you do, man? You know, I, uh, I do a lot of stuff. Okay, like what, man? So, you know, I do tattooing on the side. I got my little lawn care service over here that I do, and I've got my clothing brand that I'm working How do I do business with this? Even if I want to invest in you. Hey, inbox me, Doc. Inbox me. How do I? How do I spend money on this? How do I invest in this? Hey, Jay, man, I be watching you. I would, man. I would love for you to mentor me. Okay, what are you trying to build, man? I'm really trying to figure it out, bro. You know how much I charge hour? You want me to sit down with you to figure out what you want to do? You can do this part on your own. If you— I'm gonna be real. If the people who I have worked with free of charge, they have came to me with clarity, calibration, and confidence already done, or maybe working on the confidence piece, but the clarity and the calibration is there. You will be surprised when you get the clarity, the calibration, and the confidence, how mentors start just falling in your life. I can remember I used to own a cleaning company. This was like, it wasn't my first business, but it was my first business that started to really pick up some traction. And, um, I had this guy, yeah, hired us a few times to clean some Airbnbs for him. But as we established a relationship, we ended up running those Airbnb properties for him. This guy's name was Simon. I was living in Spokane, Washington. He was living in California. And every time he would come down to Spokane, he would invite me out to dinner. And somebody in my family who was broke, that had no money, had told me never mix business and pleasure. So every time Simon would invite me out to dinner, I would tell him no. About the third time Simon invited me out to dinner, Simon goes, hey Jay, you know I'm a, I'm a millionaire, right? And I got offended because I'm thinking, you think just because you got some money you get to tell me that I gotta come? Like, bro, like, what the hell is going on? Who you think you are? He said, Jay, let me tell you something. When a millionaire invites you to dinner, take the meeting. You can always leave, but take the meeting. I'm gonna be at Church Hills. Church Hills is a steakhouse in Spokane. I'm gonna be at Church Hills tonight at 7 PM, and you're, you're going to be there. Are we, are we on the same page? I said, yes sir, I'll see you tonight at 7. I went to Church Hills tonight at 7. Simon had 3 of his friends that wanted to do business with me. I made $40,000 that night drinking beer and eating steak. After Simon's friends left, he said, man, Jay, I've been working with you for about 6 months now. Understand, Simon is a probably 60-year-old white guy, and at the time I'm, I'm rough around the edges. Young black dude from the projects, fresh out of the milk, like I'm rough around the edges, not polished at all. Simon go, man, I see your work ethic. I, I, I You remind me so much of myself. I just want to help you. I see the potential in you. I see where you going. But I want to tell you something. You done got as far as hard work gonna take you. Hard work. He said, what you doing right now? About 6 figures? What, $100,000, $200,000 a year? He hit it on the head. I was like at $175,000 a year. He was like, let me tell you something. You done got as far as hard work is going to take you. From this point, man, it's going to be relationships and using this. It's going to be relationships and knowing what you want. He said all this. We sitting at dinner, we chilling. Like yeah, we drinking beer in each state. But what Simon was seeing is the clarity, the calibration, and the confidence. You can't you can't do clarity, calibration, and confidence with your mouth. But when you collect, when you got the clarity, the calibration, and the confidence, it's this energy to come off of you. You ever watch Shark Tank? And sometimes the sharks would be interviewing somebody, and they don't really know their numbers. The business ideas like ah. It's decent, but it ain't perfect. But all of a sudden, one of the sharks go, I'm in. And the other sharks look at them crazy. They go, no, man, I can see something here. What they are seeing is that clarity, that calibration, and confidence. And that's why this is step 4, because when you take care of this piece, it literally begins to feel like the universe is conspiring behind your back to bring you the things that you desire. Does that make sense? So I'm not saying don't start networking. I'm saying get clarity, calibrated, and confident, and then start networking. Okay, I'm not saying don't go back to school. I'm saying get clarity, get calibrated, get confident, then go back to school. I'm saying come to life with clarity, confidence, and calibration. People gonna take you so much more serious. People gonna want to do business with you. You're gonna be a magnet to the right people and you're gonna repel the wrong people. Being clear, calibrated, and confident, it draws the right people to you and it pushes the wrong people away. My clarity, calibration, and confidence is what allows me to do sessions at the price I charge in a baseball cap and a t-shirt and some basketball shorts, because that's what I want to do. But people will see right through the alpha because the clarity, calibration, and confidence will shine through what I got on. And these days, most of my clients show up dressed like me. It's, it's the funniest thing in the world. Clarity, calibration, and confidence, and then competence. Okay, doing is important, but you end up doing all the wrong stuff when you unclear, uncalibrated, and unconfident. And I'm gonna tell you something, one calibrated, clear, confident person will outwork 100 unclear, uncalibrated, confident people. So I'm not saying don't go to the gym. You don't need to go to— you, you're going to— that's going to be a part of your weight loss journey. Working out, and you necessarily gotta go to the gym, but you're gonna be dancing, you're gonna be walking, you're gonna be doing something active. But I'm saying get clear, get calibrated, get confident, and then start doing those things. Get clear, get calibrated, get confident, and then watch how much easier it is to say no to carbs and yes to protein. But when you're not clear, when you're not calibrated, and you're not confident, and you try to cut out the carbs, it's, it's, it's a very uphill battle. Or when you clear about what you don't want, and you calibrate it to what you don't want, and you confident in what you don't want, then you try to do something that's moving in the direction of what you do want. It's not gonna work. And that's how most people run the five C's. Most people got all the clarity in the world. Don't like my job. They don't pay me enough. They overwork me. They make me work my birth. I can't stand this job. They don't pay overtime. What do you want? Because right now you're getting clear about what you don't want, and you're calibrating to what you don't want, and you confident in what you don't want. So when you get to step four and you go to another job interview, and the interviewer says, "Well, why are you leaving your current position?" You go because they don't pay me enough, and I don't like it. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. And if you think this company with this healthy culture finna bring that into this healthy culture. And you go see, I can't even get another job. Well, you can't get another job because you calibrated to what you don't want. And even if you say the right stuff, you can go, well, I think I feel like I've just outgrown that position. I feel like I'm just ready to expand and try something new. The energy is going to speak through the words. But if you get clear about what you want, get calibrated to what you want, get confident in what you want, then go to that other job interview. With that healthy culture, you're gonna feel like a vibrational match to that culture. You're gonna be somebody who they want on their team. But if you show up under the calibration of the old job, they're gonna send you back. Now go to the old job. We don't we don't need that over here. And then the fifth C is competent. I mean consistency. Consistency. You gotta understand clarity is not something that you get once. It's something that you get over and over again. And when you get the new clarity, you got to calibrate to the new clarity. And as you get calibrated to this new clarity, you're going to become confident in it. But as that confidence go up, guess what else better go up with it? That competence. Because the last thing you want is your confidence here and your competence here. But I do have the unpopular opinion of getting the confidence and then getting the competence. Most people don't agree, but I feel like the competence happens so much more easier when you feel like the type of person who could do that. Of course I can do that. Of course, of course this is coming easily to me. Of course I didn't give up. Like, sit in the confidence as you acquire the competence. To me, it gives you a leg up in the learning process. The brain is a lot more malleable when it's confident in the outcome. So I put confidence before competence. A lot of people will fight me on that, and a lot of people don't get the results that I get. So whatever. And then consistency. You got to run this over and over and over again. When you start running this on purpose over and over and over again, it creates what I call a success loop. And the success loop is when you can't lose for winning. It's this old, um, Sprite commercial where they had Larry Bird in the commercial, and in the commercial they needed him to miss a free throw. It took them 7 takes for him to miss. He kept making the shot. They're going, Larry, we need you to miss the shot. He's like, I know, I'm trying. He'll shoot it again, make the shot. Larry, we need you to miss the shot. He goes, I know, I'm trying. Can you imagine being so good at what you do that you having a hard time missing? Can you imagine being so efficient at what you do that you're having a hard time missing? It's crazy, right? So is this making sense? I need to get clear about what I want. I need to get calibrated to what I want. I need to get confident in what I want. I need to get so confident in it. Yeah, I don't, I don't care who won the election. I'm confident in what I got going on. My personal economy is going to be good. My client's personal economy is gonna be good. The people who run in 5C, your economy is gonna be good. I don't care what they say on CNN. I don't care if it's raining outside. I don't care how cold it is outside. I'm clear that I'm going to the gym Monday through Friday. I'm calibrated to that. I'm confident in that. If I wake up and it's 20 degrees, I guess I'm gonna bundle up, but I'm going to the gym because that's what I'm confident in. Now, if I wasn't confident in my calibration and I was, you know, I, I'm going to the gym every day, but I didn't take time to lay this foundation. If I wake up and it's 30 degrees, not today, man. Not today. That's why this foundation is so important. This, this foundation makes certain things non-negotiable, and it's non-negotiable at a cellular level. Like, it could be non-negotiable at a logical level, but logic is only 2% of your reasoning ability. We talk about that subconscious mind, that bottom of that iceberg, that part of you that if the subconscious mind want to cry, it don't matter how you logically feel about it. The subconscious mind wants to cry, it's going to cry. If the subconscious mind wants to laugh, it's going to laugh. It don't care how you logically feel about it. And what a lot of times what we try to do is we try to use willpower To, to control the body. That's not how you use willpower. We talk about it all the time. You use willpower to get clear about what you want. You use willpower to get calibrated to what you want. You use willpower to sit at this calibration until it becomes confidence. You can't force confidence. You got to just keep calibrating until one day you go, wait a minute, this is happening naturally now. My shoulder's naturally going back, my chest naturally going out, my head is naturally going up. All right, everybody rocking with me? How we feeling? How we feeling? Any questions? Any comments? Any concerns? Anything at all? Anything at all? What's going on, Medicine Woman? How you doing? What's going on, Paris? What's up, K-Rock? You got any questions, man? Come to the— and hey, and I'm just reading this comment. Come to the table with clarity and confidence, man. If you develop that clarity and that confidence, the table will oftentimes come to you. You develop that clarity and that confidence, oftentimes the table, the table will come to you. Like, people often quote the scripture, faith without work is dead. Right? But what if I told you the work isn't physical work? The work isn't— people here didn't think that the work is like backbreaking labor. The work is maintaining the faith. The work is maintaining the faith. The work is doing those affirmations. The work is putting your attention on what you want. The work is saying, I'm not going to think about that, I'm gonna think about this. The work is, they said that, but God told me this, and I'm sitting with this. The work is not eating the fruit off the forbidden— the work is not eating the forbidden fruit. The work is focusing on the good, not the good and the evil. If you do that work, by the time you get to the physical work, it's something that you get to do. It's not something that you got to do. I get to go live. I don't got to go live. I get to go to the gym. I don't got to go to the gym. But the reason it, it flows like that is because I did the work. I built the faith around it. Now, if I'm faithful And the idea that going to the gym is gonna make my body look how I want it to look, going to the gym is going to allow me to be at the beach with my shirt off and feel confident, going to the gym is going to give me extra stamina for adult activity. If I'm faithful in that belief, I'm ready to go to the gym. If I'm faithful that going live every day is going to keep new leads coming into my ecosystem, going live every day is going to keep my schedule full, going live every day is going to help me hit my financial— I don't got to go live, I get to go live. I want to go live because I did the work of developing the faith that this live is something important. This live is one of the steps in getting me where I want to go. Not gonna lie, I've been wavering in my confidence. It's motivating me to clarify what I want. Yeah, so the example that I use, let's say I start doing a giveaway on TikTok. Let's say every month I give away $1 million. You've been coming to the lives for about 3 months. You watch the first person win the million dollars. You witness them get their money. You watch the second person get their million dollars, you witness them get their money. You watch the third person get their million dollars, you witness them get their money. The fourth month, you win a million dollars. I say, hey, congratulations, Galen, man, you won this one. Hey, but here's the catch. You got to be in my office in Dallas, Texas by 5 PM tomorrow to get your money. Do you think you would need a motivational speech to come get your money? No. Do you think if you had a headache, you'd be like, man, I would, but I got a headache? You think if you was anxious about flying, you'd be like, don't worry about it, man, just keep it? Do you think— not at all, right? Why? Because you know exactly what's waiting for you on the other side of that trip. Now if I say, hey, Galen, come get here by 5 PM tomorrow, I'm gonna give you some money. You like some money? What, what, what is some money? Some money, it's not gonna motivate you. Million dollars gonna put a whole new spin on it. $500, you're like, Jay, it's gonna cost me that much to get there. $750, what, I'm supposed to come there for extra? I'm supposed to cancel my whole day for an extra $200? $10,000, like, maybe. $50,000, you're like, I could probably make that work. But you see how the more that number goes up, you see that our walk If I needed to. So if you've got this book in your mind, you believe that book worth a million dollars, you believe that book is a New York Times bestseller, and your laptop stopped working, that's the type of energy you're gonna have. I'll handwrite this shit if I got to. Like, your hands got cut off, you're like, I'll write it with my toes if I, if I got to. You see, you see that? You see the energy behind it? When you know exactly what you stand in the game and it's something that you actually desire, you're not thinking about, man, that's a lot to got. Like, think about if you got to get a flight booked within 24 hours, you probably got to take off work. If you got some tasks at work, you probably gotta get somebody else to handle those tasks. If you got kids, you got to find somebody to watch them. But when it's something that you really desire, you thinking about all that on the fly. You're like, well, I'm gonna be booking this As I go over here and, uh, hey Siri, text so-and-so and tell them they're gonna have to cover my shift. Not can they cover my shift, they're gonna have to cover my shift. Like, your energy changes when it's something that you actually bought into and you believe it's possible. Now imagine, Galen, if you didn't see them other 3 people win a million dollars. It was a part of you like, man, that man is not gonna give me a million dollars. I don't believe it. Now, if you didn't believe I was gonna give you the million dollars, would you still have that same attitude of I would walk if I had to? No, if you don't believe it's possible, that energy don't show up. But if you really believe it's a million dollars waiting for you, you gonna figure everything else out in the middle. Now, if you don't believe it's possible, like, why, why would you? But if you really believe you could be 100 pounds lighter, you really believe you can have that body you want and the stamina you want and the energy, if you really believe that You gonna go to the gym. But if you're like, man, look, everybody in my family big-boned, I ain't never gonna look that way, I've, I've given up on— oh, then you're not gonna go. You— the belief is the secret ingredient. I believe that belief is the secret ingredient in any successful therapy— hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, I don't care, any type of therapy. Without belief, nothing changes. Belief is the secret ingredient in prayer. Without— you could pray all day, if it ain't no belief in there It's not gonna work. The belief is where the energy comes from. The belief is where the confidence comes from. The belief is what attracts the good ideas. You got to get yourself to believe in the outcome, and that's what this foundation is about. I got to get clear on the outcome. In NLP, we call it a well-formed outcome. Once I know the well-formed outcome, I got to calibrate to the outcome. If I just keep calibrating to the outcome, eventually I'm going to become confident in the outcome. Most of the stuff you confident in, you didn't study. Most of the stuff you confident in, you didn't do no affirmations around it. Most of the stuff you confident in, you just saw it enough times that you stopped questioning it. Put your goals where you can see them. Go in your imagination often. Realize you got this part of the brain called the thalamus. It has a hard time separating things that you vividly imagine from things that you experience. All the sensory information comes in through this part of the brain, but also the things that you imagine comes in through the same part of the brain. Imagine that reality and fiction is being filtered through the same part of the brain, and the nervous system is just responding to the story that is being told. Every cell in your body is responding to the story that you tell it. I need you to get clear about what you want and start telling the cells in your body That story. I need you to stop needing to see the result before you can feel different, and if you— and realize that the feeling will create the result. Okay, we landing right there. How long we been live? Yeah, we did 55 minutes. So everybody in here needs to join the Dreams in Action community. Get in the Dreams in Action community. The link is in my bio. For people who watching on other platforms where we repost this, if you want to join the Dreams in Action community, go to dreams in the letter N. No, dreams in action dot com, and you could join the Dreams in Action community. It's one dollar, one dollar. And I'm telling you now, if you see this same video in about a week, it might not be one dollar no more. I'm getting ready to. To change it. It's big. Well, it's been too valuable, but I'm gonna get ready to throw a different price tag on. I got to talk to my business partner and see what she thinks is fair, but we're gonna get ready to crank that up. But the people already in, you're gonna be grandfathered in. We're not gonna make people who already in pay more, but that's getting ready to raise this time. Okay, but for now it's $1. Today is what, November the 7th? So if you're watching this too far out to November 7th, It's whatever price it is, I'm sure it's worth it, but, uh, you missed a dollar. But, um, yeah, anybody interested in working with me one-on-one, inbox me, Hey Coach. Inbox me, Hey Coach. Let's talk about what that looks like. I love you guys, ain't nothing you could do about it. And, uh, I'm gonna see y'all around, man. I'm finna do some work around the house. I might very well end up back on live today. I got a lighter schedule than I typically have. So, um, turn the notifications on. And anybody who needs clarity— I'm glad I thought about it— when you go to the link in my bio, there's a quiz up there you can take that'll let you know how much clarity you have. Take that clarity quiz. But I'll see y'all later, man.