How to Reprogram Your Mind with Hypnosis (Stop Self-Sabotage & Unlock Your Power)

Welcome to the live. If this your first time in here, I'm Coach Jay. I'm a high performance coach. I work with athletes, executives, entrepreneurs. I'm a firm believer that if you could think it, you could do it. Can't think it, can't do it. But if you could think it, if you can put your attention on it, if you could focus on it, you could do it. And if you can focus on it to the point where you start to feel it, you'll do it on accident. When you feel sad, you ain't gotta try to cry. Nah, when you feel confident, you don't got to try to put your shoulders back and your chest out. When you watch a scary movie, you ain't got to try to feel scared, just watch the movie. You watch a funny movie, you ain't got to try to laugh, just watch the movie. If you get clear about what you want and you just start watching that mental movie, you just start seeing that mental movie, you don't got to try to come up with really good ideas. Really good ideas will start to find you. You'll accidentally start listening to some different podcasts, accidentally start reading some different books, networking in some different groups. Focus, focus, focus, focus. If you— if you— everybody has been hypnotized. Hypnosis isn't what people think it is. If I offend you, I hypnotize you. I said something, you processed it, and as a result of what I said, you're in a different state. That's hypnosis. If I go in the house And I give my wife some flowers and she said, oh baby, you made my day. I just hypnotized her. I did something, she processed it, and as a result of an action I took, she's in a different state. If I piss her off, I hypnotized her. Hypnosis isn't what people think it is. When people come to me with a problem, they're usually in a trance they don't know how to escape. That trance might be smoking, that trance might be eating cabbage, that trance might be low self-esteem. But think about it. Everybody who comes in my office, nobody comes in my office saying I don't know what to do. The problem is never I don't know what to do. The problem is either I don't think I can do it or I don't feel like doing it. If you want to lose weight, you know how you know to drink more water, be more active, burn more calories than you put in, cut back on the carbs, eat more. You know that stuff. I'm not no, I'm not gonna sit down and say, all right, I want you getting ten thousand steps a day. You got to cut back on all all those complex carbs. No, you know what to do. You don't feel like doing it. You're in a trance of it's not gonna work anyway, everything is gonna fit. I love Brit. You already hypnotized, and the state of your hypnosis gives birth to your bank account. State of your hypnosis controls that number you see on the scale. The state of that hypnosis controls how you build relationships. Everybody's already hypnotized. Really what a good hypnotist does is help you snap out of the trance and remember who the hell you are. Most people aren't born addicted to nicotine. Most people aren't born with eating disorders. Most people— you can put a newborn baby in front of us, you can put a newborn baby on a stage in front of 10,000 people, that baby isn't going to get nervous. That baby isn't going to second-guess itself. You can talk to a newborn baby about recessions, COVID, divorces. The baby hasn't learned to fear those things. Every fear that you have is something that you learn. How do you— how do you differentiate between hypnotists and mindset? You don't. So hypnosis confuses a lot of people. It's hard to explain because trying to explain hypnosis is like trying to explain to a fish what water is. The fish is like, where's the water? You're like, it's right there. The fish is like, where? You're like, right there, there, there, there, there. It's, it's everywhere. It's in the marketing, it's in the music, it's in dating. Like, one of my homeboys asked me one time, he was like, hey man, you ever use hypnosis to get girls to like go out with you? I said, hey man, please don't tell me you out here being intimate with women without hypnosis. Getting consent is hypnosis. Foreplay is hypnosis. Going on dates and peeling back that layer and building rapport and getting to know that person is hypnosis. If you skip that part, that's sexual assault. Hypnosis is in everything. Everybody is a hypnotist. Some of us just choose to do it on purpose. Everybody is a hypnotist. Some of us just say, yo, I want, I want to get really good at this. I want to do this at a really high level. My daughter is one of the best hypnotists I know. One of my favorite hypnotists is a teacher named Miss Henry. I love sitting in her class. I love watching how she handles the kids. She's not doing this consciously because she's not a hypnotist, but at a subconscious level she goes, this baby is auditory, he needs to hear it. This baby's kinesthetic. He needs to feel it. He needs to work with manipulatives. He don't need to see the equation. He needs to handle the equa— that's hypnosis. Your favorite comedian is a hypnotist. Watch any, any hypnotist and watch any comedian open up a show. So do you help people realize that we already are? Yeah, all my clients understand that. You don't need me to hypnotize you. What I do is show you how you're already hypnotizing yourself. I give you some new tools to do it on purpose. You already been doing this your whole life on accident. You cut— you are constantly maintaining a self-image. You get— you got this story that you're already telling about yourself. My job is to help you alter that story on purpose. Useful, not useful. If it's useful, double down on it. If it's not useful, uninstall it right here, right now. And it's not going to take 6 months, it's not going to take a year to change it. We're going to change it right here, right now. Think about it. If you, if you go sit down to pray, you're gonna close your eyes. If you go sit down to meditate, you're gonna close your eyes. If you come in my office, I'm gonna say, hey, take a deep breath in. That's right. And as you exhale, close those eyes. And now that you've closed those eyes, allow it— you shut off that visual cortex. You get absent from the body, present with the Father. That's what hypnosis and meditation— all of these things are about taking your attention off of the 3D and going inside. To where change can happen. Change never happens out there. Everything going on out there is a reflection of what has already happened in here. I always tell my clients, if you can't think it, you can't do it. I don't care what kind of laptop you got, I don't care what kind of phone you got, I don't care what type of lighting you— if you can't think it, if you can't conceptualize it, you can't do it. If you can think it, you could do it. But if you can feel it, you'll do it on accident. Think about it, when you feel upset You will accidentally roll your eyes, stomp your feet, bark at people, and curse people out. Then when you're done feeling upset and you're back in a good mood, you say, damn, I did not have to say that. I really do too much sometimes. Now I gotta apologize. But when you felt angry, you felt justified in behaving that way. When you feel sad, you don't got to try to pout, you don't got to try to cry. You'll accidentally do that stuff. But the same thing happens over here when you feel confident. Like, people— so many people trying to Okay, let me put my shoulders back, let me put my chest out, let me put my chin— no. If you just feel confident, your body will automatically assume a confident position. But when you try to force a confident position from a feeling of inadequacy, all you're doing is looking crazy. And truly confident people can— you gotta understand, people feel you before they hear you. People feel you before they see you. You can say a whole lot without ever opening your mouth, but you got to learn how to Manage that energy that builds up inside of you in that 8-foot energy diameter around you. I don't care if you want to sell more. I don't care if you want to change the direction of your marriage. I don't care if you want to lose weight, be a better speaker. Stop trying to fix what's going on out there. Everything happening out there is a reflection of what has already happened on here. It's going to be done on earth as it is in heaven. As above, so below. Most people are so busy working on the problem that they never take time to work on it. So look, stop working on the problem. I tell my clients all the time, we don't work on problems, we starve problems. If you with me for an hour, you want to spend the hour talking about the problem, when do we talk about the solution? Well, Jay, you just don't understand. Listen, I don't want to understand. If you want— if you want to get understood, go talk to your friends. Go talk. My job is not to understand you. My job is to reprogram you, and I don't need the whole backstory to help you reprogram. And you don't understand how quick an hour goes. What attracted me to hypnosis— I got hypnotized when I was 14 at a carnival. And, um, so we were at a carnival, I was hanging out with this girl that I liked, and the hypnotist was asking for volunteers to go up on the stage. And she was like, I bet you won't go up there. And she hypnotized me. I ain't know at the time. I was like, who gonna go with you? Yes, I will. So I didn't think it was gonna work. And the guy was— we were sitting on stage and the guy was telling us that our hands were gonna start lifting and rising higher and higher. And I In my mind, I'm like, shit. Then next thing I know, my hands start creeping up, and I was like, oh man, I gotta figure out how he did that. Ever since that day, I've been studying hypnosis for the last 19 years, man. Love at first sight. As soon as I saw— hold on, he's using his words to move my body, and it's like this weird disconnect because I'm not moving my hand, but I'm seeing my hand move. And from that day forward, I was hooked. What's going on, lovely? How you doing? Welcome to the live. Welcome to the live. If you could think it, you could do it. Your only limit in life is your own imagination. The economy can't stop you. A divorce can't stop you. A disease can't stop you. A diagnosis can't stop you. None of that can stop you. Now make no mistake, you can focus on that stuff and decide to quit, but that thing didn't stop you. That's just what you was focusing on when you quit. Does that make sense? The divorce didn't stop you. That's just, that's just what had your attention when you threw in the towel. The disease didn't stop you. That's just what you was looking at when you threw in the towel. The economy, COVID— COVID didn't stop you. That's just what had your attention when you decided to quit. Let's make it clear, nobody can make you do anything. Like, it's so— when people say like, you made me mad— if I could make you do things, you wouldn't even be talking to me right now. I would make you disappear if I could make you. I can't make you do things. I can't even make my own kids do things. I can create uncomfortable conditions if they don't do the things, but I can't— even in those uncomfortable— me and my son had this conversation about maybe 2 years ago. I was saying, hey son, nobody— like, he had got in trouble at school and he was like, well, Charles did. So hey, let's get clear about something. Charles and nobody, not even me, can— I can't make you do anything. He said, yes you— yes you can, Dad. You, you make me do stuff all the time. No, son, I make it uncomfortable. And then as a result of it being uncomfortable, as a result of you not having Wi-Fi or Fortnite Or wherever else you choose that you, you want. You choose to go clean your room. You choose to adjust your tone, to, to shift your environment back to it. But make no mistake, you can be— you could be stubborn. It's gonna be really uncomfortable for you, but you can still, even in that uncomfortableness, refuse to clean your room. I don't recommend it, but that choice is on the table. How do you decide But you mentioned self-hypnosis. How did you decide you want to hypnotize others? So I was getting hypnotized and I started studying hypnosis. One, so I was a junior in high school and I was reading a book called Transformations by, um, Richard Bandler. I can't think of the other guy's name. How do I always forget his name? But the NLP guys. And, um, I was so engulfed in this book and, um, ask me then. I'm gonna come back to that, Bri. I'm gonna finish this and I'm gonna come back to that question. But I was so engulfed in this book that my teacher had called on me and I didn't even hear her talking to me. I was entranced. So she came and she took my book and told me I can get it back after class. So class goes on, and after class I go get my book. She said, what is it that you were reading that had you so engulfed that you couldn't even hear me talking to you? And I was telling her, um, it's a book about language patterns and suggestibility and how to structure sentences in a way to where they have impact. And she was like, hypnosis? What you know about hypnosis? And rule number one of being a hypnotist is you got to be a hypnotist. confidence, something in the way you carry yourself, something just the way you enter the room has to say, my words are powerful, I'm impactful. So she said, what you know about hypnosis? I said, everything. She said, everything? I want to quit smoking, do you think you can help me quit? I had never helped anybody quit smoking, but I had been reading about this stuff for about the past— shit, at this point I'm a junior. I've been reading about this stuff for 4 or 5 years, guys. I like fell in love with hypnosis at 14, so I had been reading about it. And she, um, Ask me would I help her quit smoking, and I said yeah. And I went there, my first quit smoking session that day after school. I skipped band practice to hypnotize her to quit smoking. I was nervous as hell the next day when I went to her class because I didn't know if it would work, but, um, it did. And when I realized, like, wait a minute, I used my words to help her do something that she didn't know how to do on her own, I was locked in. And I knew from that day that I'd be doing this for the rest of my life. Somebody had a question. What has been your most impactful or successful hypnosis? Oh man, it's so many. It's so many. Trichotillomania, erectile dysfunction, confidence, nail biting, man. It's, it's so many. It's too many just to, to give you one, man. I got one guy I'm literally working with his entire family. He came in for some stuff he was working with. I'm working with his 2 sons, I'm working with his wife, I'm— everybody in their whole house is coming in, they got stuff that they working on. I'm a firm believer that every problem is a thinking problem. We hypnotizing each other. You wouldn't be here if I wasn't hypnotizing you, and I wouldn't— like, hypnosis is the narrowing, it's the focus of attention. That's what hypnosis is. Hypnosis is the, the focus of attention and you getting in this state of what we call hyper-suggestibility. Humans are hypnotized. Humans are suggestible. The more intelligent you are, the more suggestible you are. Now you can choose to push away information, but it doesn't mean— like, so if I say cat, without even trying, you're going to come up with your own internal representation of cat. Dog, moose, pig. You don't have to try to create. If you— if I have your attention, your mind is going to respond to what I'm saying. There's nothing you can do about it outside of removing your attention. But if you give me or anybody else your attention, you're giving that person permission to plant seeds. Now, how skillfully they are at planting those seeds, that's— they might not be as good as me. I'm next level with this shit. But if you give me your attention, you give me the ability to plant seeds. Let's see what else we got here. I haven't smoked in a month. I've smoked for 4 years straight. That's what's up, congratulations. It's so sad to know that we have to be retaught our whole life because of programming, but it's a beautiful thing too. Like, that's what life is. Life is expansion. Life is learning and evolving and becoming. That's, that's what we're here for. That's the journey, to grow, to stretch, to look at that and say, I don't like that, what would I rather have? That's why I'm sitting in a car instead of on the back of a horse, because somebody's like, hold on, this, um, this works, but it could be better. This, like, that's, that's, that's the— for me, that's the joy of life. Hmm, how can I overcome this? How can I make this better? How can I enhance this? How can I— we are creators, and when— if there's nothing to create, we get really bored and self-destructive. I want to use these skills for my son now so he won't ever be a sheep. For sure. I'm gonna teach you something that I call the 5 C's. This is what's in the back of my mind no matter what I'm working on. And you can introduce your son to the 5 C's, it'll help a lot. Why are people who are more intelligent more suggestible? Because that learning is suggest— like, learning is your ability to take in information. I hate hypnotizing dumb people. It's, it's work. You gotta really slow down. You gotta make sure they— you know what that word mean? Like, you gotta really slow down to hypnotize somebody who's a little, a little behind, who really takes time to get concepts. But somebody who can instantly hear a concept and go, okay, got it. Somebody who can instantly embody a concept. Oh man, we can do a lot in a very short period of time. So as a hypnotist, do you have all things you want? Need? I'm not gonna say I'm content, and I'm on a trajectory of everything I want. Uh, not too long ago I was giving a talk and this guy in the crowd, he was trying to be an asshole, but he created an awesome Teaching moment. He said, well, if you know all of this, why aren't you a millionaire? I say, man, that's a great question. You talking to a dude who grew up in the projects, single mom, no dad, and I make a really good living doing something that I would do for absolutely free. And if I keep doing what I'm doing, showing up like I'm showing up, writing like I'm writing, talking like I'm talking— I got professional athletes on my schedule, I got politicians on my schedule. I got a literal astronaut on my schedule. If I keep doing what I'm doing, there's no way I don't become a millionaire. Now, if I get distracted by you and like argue with you and start defending what's going on and stop doing what I'm doing, I won't become a millionaire. But if I just keep doing what I'm doing, if I just keep developing, if I just keep showing up, the millions are inevitable. Wouldn't be surprised if I do it before 40. Like that. Like, a lot of people struggle with manifesting because they confuse not finished with not happening. They like— you gotta stop confusing not finishing with not happening. Not finished with not— like, if you go outside and plant an acorn, you don't get an oak tree right this instant, but it's still— it's, it's an oak tree inside of that acorn. If a woman is pregnant with a baby and she picks a room in her house and sets up her nursery, and she put the pictures on the wall, paint the wall blue or pink, and put the Crib together, and she walks into that room the very next day and she aborts the pregnancy because the baby isn't here yet. You like, ma'am, what do you mean? Of course it's not here yet. My son was born prematurely. It was scary. It was very touchy. You don't want it early. You, you want it— it takes time. Let it cook. Let it cook. Don't confuse not finished with not happening. Don't, don't like The Bible literally opens up with God creating things and not moving on to the next thing until he noticed that the previous thing was good. And it was good, and that was the first day. Like, God creates in order. And now when you stop— so, all right, so we done got in the Bible. God gave man dominion over the world. True or false? He gave man dominion over the world. So when you're looking at the world And go, okay, the weather's like this, I'm in this mood. The economy is like this, I'm in this mood. That's— you said this to me, now I feel this way. You, you, you supposed to have dominion. Dominion is leadership. Dominion is management. Why are you letting the thing that you're supposed to be managing lead you? Why are you letting the thing that you're supposed to be— I that I'm out of order. And if I'm out of order, my life is going to be out of order. If I'm out of order, my bank account is going to be out of order. If I'm out of order, my marriage is going to be out of order. If I'm out of order, my health is going to be out of order. Put things back in order. You should not be looking out there and letting out there tell you how to feel. You got to show up and let out there catch up to you. Whenever I'm working with athletes— Bree, you said false, tell me, tell me why. When I'm working with athletes, I always tell my athletes, you don't get a trophy and then become a champion. What happens is you become a champion When you become a champion, you're gonna accidentally start holding yourself to a different standard. When you become a champion, you're gonna accidentally start showing up early and leaving late. When you become a champion, you're gonna accidentally start behaving like a champion. And guess what champions do? Champions collect trophies. Man gave me a domain over the world, but we all do have dominion over ourselves. Okay, that's— and that's, uh, That's— it's personal belief. I believe that God gave man dominion over the world. That's why he sent Jesus as a man and didn't show up as himself. But I don't— so I always tell people, look, I will hypnotize you, I will pray for you, I will help you, help you manifest. I don't care what language, I don't care what map you use to get there, as long as you get there. I got people on my schedule who are atheists, I got people on my schedule who are Muslim, I got people on my schedule who don't— I, I don't care how we get there, as long as we get there. I believe God gave dominion and God flows through man. He'll do it through you. but he won't do it for you. He'll give you the ingredients, but he's not gonna bake the cake for you. But I do believe— that's my personal belief, and notice I said my personal belief. This is not the live where I tell you what to think. When people ask me questions, I share my thinking. Keep what works for you, throw away what doesn't. What's going on, Alicia? How you doing? But if you could think it, you could do it. Somebody in here was talking about their son and how he wanted— they want to start implementing him in these type of things at a young age. I want to give you the 5 C's. This is something that I teach to all of my clients, and I actually came up with the 5 C's at a point in my life when I was jealous of my clients. I was looking at my clients and the results they were getting and just how I was helping them, and I wasn't even really— I'm helping them, but I'm not helping them. They do all the work. I hold space for them to do the work, just not the particular— but I'm for sure, for sure. And that's the dope thing about life, you don't gotta We don't got to be in 100% agreement. In fact, if we in 100% agreement, that mean only one of us thinking. So this is not the live where you gotta agree with everything that goes on. Yeah, I don't— it's not a— it's not a cult. Like, it's, you know, take what, what worked for you and, you know, throw away the rest. But, um, we're gonna get into the 5 C's. I came up with the 5 C's in a chapter of my life when I was starting to get jealous and a little bit resentful of my client. I was looking at those results and seeing what they were doing. I'm like, wait a minute, I play a part in it. And if I'm playing a part in all this great stuff, my life is straight. But it— I just felt like my life should be better. So what I started doing is I started recording my sessions and I started reverse engineering what I was doing with my clients. Because when I tried to turn the process inward, it was weird. I couldn't. I knew how to do it to them, but I didn't know how to do it to me. So I started reverse engineering what I was doing with them. And I realized it was 5 things that we always did, always in this particular order. Never went to step 2 until we were finished with step 1. Never went to step 3 until we was finished with step 2. Step 1 is always clarity. Can't get what you want till you know what you want. Most people, when they first show up in my office, they're experts in what they don't want. They could tell me every detail about what they don't want, but they can't tell me what they would rather have. They can tell me that their boss is a micromanager and they stupid and they being overworked and underpaid and the vacation package not good enough. They can tell me everything that their, their husband or their wife is doing wrong. They can tell me everything that's wrong with the dating scene. But I said, okay, well, what do you want? Jay, I just want to be happy. What, what does that mean? Okay, so clarity. You gotta get clear about what you want. You can't get what you want until you know what you want. Knowing what you don't want is not the same thing as knowing what you want. Imagine if you get in a taxi and you say, "Hey, don't take me to the mall. I hate the mall." Driver said, "Okay, well, where do you want to go?" You said, "I hate the mall. I'm teenagers up there. Why ends up here wearing face mask and they hanging? I don't like them all. I'm not paying three hundred dollars for one pair of shoes. That's crazy. I hate. Where do you want to go?" So that's always foundation. Where do you want to go? Now don't confuse where you want to go with the checklist that you got to check to get there. We'll circle back to that. Let me give y'all the rest of the 5 C's. So clarity. Now after I know what I want, the second C is calibration. I gotta start calibrating to what I want. Think about it. When you know what you don't want and you calibrate to what you don't want, you'll get anxious on accident. When you know you don't like your job and they overworking you and they giving you too much to handle, and not only that, your partner not helping out the way they should— when you know what you don't want And you start putting your attention on what you don't want and calibrating what you don't want, you get overwhelmed on accident. You didn't have to do no affirmations to get overwhelmed. You didn't have to look at a vision board to get overwhelmed. You didn't have to read books and study over— as a result of what you were focusing on, you became anxious, you became overwhelmed, you became— it's feelings that followed your focus. When you calibrate to a funny movie, you ain't got to try to laugh. You ain't even got to want to laugh. You could be in a bad mood, but if you calibrate to a funny movie, You'll start laughing. If you calibrate to a sad movie, you could have been in a good mood when the movie started. You could have been excited when the movie started. You could be on a date and y'all went to see a sad movie. Y'all could have been on sexy time, but if both of y'all calibrate to this sad movie, guess what? You're gonna start feeling sad on accident. You didn't have to try to feel sad. You didn't have to practice feeling sad. As a result of what you were focusing on, you feel sad. When we run that first scene, we get clear about what we want. And we start calibrating to what we want, we'll start coming up with some really good ideas on accident. We'll start meeting some really cool people on accident. We'll start reading some different books, listening to some different podcasts. Your TikTok algorithm will start to change because you'll be watching more of this and less of that. You'll be commenting on this. You'll be sitting in lives. As you start calibrating to what you want, you'll accidentally start feeling different. So we got the first two C's: clear. Get clear about what I want. If somebody came to me and said, "Hey, hey, hey, Coach Jay, I gotta lose some weight." What do you want? Jay, I just told you I gotta lose some weight. What do you want? What size shirt you want to wear? What size of jeans you want to wear? What number do you want to see when you step on the scale? What do you want? And even deeper, what do you really want? What do you really want? What's that stuff that you want that you don't even— that you don't even feel comfortable saying out loud? Jay, I want— I want rock hard erections. I want them erections I used to have in my 20s. Jay, I want stamina for adult activities. I want to be able to go rounds.

I want, I want my own—

what's that stuff? What, what do you want? Like, not that surface-level politically correct. What do you want? Jay, I want that corner office. This is dude in my— it's this dude in my job that I can't stand. I want to see the look on his face when I get that promotion over him. What do you want? Your subconscious moves by feeling and emotion. So you got one mind, but your one mind has 2 aspects. You got the conscious aspect, the things that are happening in your awareness, and you got that subconscious aspect, those things that happen outside of your awareness. 98% of your life happens outside of your awareness. The other 2% is where you have your logic, reason, analysis, willpower, and decision-making. That 98% does not care about logic. That 91% does not care about your blood pressure, does not care about your A1C and your cholesterol. That 90— that, um, 98%, it runs off feeling and emotion. So one of the biggest things of clarity is clarity might start as a car, clarity might start as a house or a promotion or seeing a certain number on that scale. But under that, because this is how we influence the subconscious, if that was going to influence you, you would have it already. So people come to my office and say things like, Jay, I gotta quit smoking. My wife's— I don't care what your wife said, because if your wife said it would have made you quit, you wouldn't be sitting in my office. My doctor said— I don't care what your doctor said. If your doctor said it was gonna make you quit, you would not be sitting in my office. What do you want? Yeah, I just want my— I don't care what your wife want. What do you selfishly, independently of all of them, what do you want? Yeah, I got a 3-year-old daughter, man. She beautiful. Let me, let me show you a picture, bro. This is my baby. One day my baby gonna get married, and I refuse for another man to walk my baby down the aisle. I want to be here to give my— I'm walking my baby down the aisle. That's my baby. I wiped her nose out. I'm wiping my— I'm walking my baby here to give my— I'm walking my baby down the aisle. That's my baby. I wiped her nose out. I'm wiping my— I'm walking my baby down. Okay, now we got the leverage we need to quit. We gonna get you calibrated to that and you're gonna be a non-smoker before you know it. Yeah, let's get you— if you ain't got it here, you're gonna get hypnotized anyway, but click the link in the bio. You go to the YouTube channel, it's over 800 videos on there. You can apply to work with me directly. We got stuff for people at every budget, at every piece of the pipeline. Click that link in that bio and go crazy, knock yourself out. It's something there for everybody. But is that making sense? You get clear about what you want and understand that original version of what you want might be surface level. I want this house. Let's look at it if it was a house. Yeah, I want this house. Okay, cool. I understand you want that house, but what is it about that house? Because your conscious mind want that house. What does your subconscious mind want? Yeah, I want all my kids to have their own space. I want us to have areas where we can hang out together as a family, but I also want us to have areas where we can break off apart when everybody need their space. I want to host Thanksgiving, Jay. My sister always hosts Thanksgiving and she thinks she all that, and she really gets under my skin, and she likes to throw around the fact that her house is big enough. I want to be able to host Thanksgiving.

I now we getting the subconscious involved. Now now we getting the subconscious involved.

Thanksgiving.

I now we getting the subconscious involved. Now now we getting the subconscious involved. Your subconscious don't care about a million dollars, Jay. I want to work with who I want to work with. I want to do things that I'm excited to do. Like when I used to be in the military, I hated being in the military. And I was clear that I hated being in the military, and I was calibrated to the fact that I hated being in the military. And when I'm calibrated to hating being in the military, it's very easy for me to find other people who are calibrated to the same thing, and we would have talks about how much we hate being in the military. My whole life started to change on accident when I said, well, what do I want? I want to be my own boss. You know what, I don't even want to work. I want to play for a living. I want to get paid to do things that I would do for absolutely Yeah, I don't want my pay connected to these stripes on my shoulder. I want my pay connected to my creativity. I want my pay created to my passion. I started talking about what I wanted, and as I started talking about what I wanted, I accidentally started reading different books. As I started talking about what I wanted, I accidentally started watching different stuff on YouTube. As I started talking about what I wanted, I went, hold on, wait. The military— I don't even gotta pay to go to— the military paid for me to go to school. The problem that I was focused on is actually a piece of the solution, but I was so hypnotized by the problem that I was completely— The problem that I was focused on is actually a piece of the solution, but I was so hypnotized by the problem that I was completely starving myself. Wait a minute, yo, you know what, I'm on these deployments, I got a lot of— it's a lot of time I'm doing something that I don't want to do, but I also got a lot of downtime. I can finish my degree on this. I can— like, as I stopped focusing on the problem and start focusing on the solution, the problem kind of just died off. One day I'm sitting in the, um, little room where we used to all hang out before when we didn't have work to do, where we were just waiting on jobs to come up. They said, uh, Shaw, commander wants to see you. I'll say, the commander? Not my first sergeant, not my shop chief. The commander wants to see me? Our squadron commander wants to see me? I go report to the commander. He say, "Um, Sergeant Shaw, you don't want to be here, do you?" I say, "Sir." He said, "You don't want to be here, do you?" I thought about it. I say, "Um, respectfully, no, sir." He say, "Sign this. Sign this." I was a civilian like two months later. Honorable discharge. Got to keep my GI Bill. All all of my benefit. I was a civilian two months later. What happened was I was no longer mentally a good soldier. I had became an entrepreneur. So it was just something in the way that I walked around. You can't deploy him. He making more money out there than he's making— and the military uses money to control you. Like, they use the fact that all your income— but when you make— when you get to a point where you're making more money than your boss's boss's boss doing this thing that you would do for the military, say, hey, he not really Get him out of here. Let him go. Free him. Get he. What did he do wrong? He didn't do anything wrong. He's just. We want in the military. They want people to shut up and color and hurry up and wait. And what the journey that I was on, I was no longer a good candidate for shutting up and coloring and hurry up and wait. Don't. Oh, I got you. And we only two C's in. And you see how this already shifting. Third C. Glad you brought it up. Is confidence. Confidence. Now the thing that you got to understand about confidence is some confidence is not something that you make happen. Some confidence is something that happens as a result of. Running the first 2 C's. When you get clear about what you want and you calibrate to what you want, you keep calibrating until you accidentally become confident. Does that make sense? You get clear that this is the goal, this is what I want, then you start calibrating to that goal. You calibrate over and over and over and over and over again until one day you accidentally say something that the old version of you wouldn't say. One day somebody say something, they overstep a boundary, and you find yourself before you even know it putting them back in their spot. And just as it's coming out of your mouth, you go, wait a minute, the old me wouldn't— and you find yourself before you even know it putting them back in their spot. And just as it's coming out of your mouth, you go, wait a minute, the old me wouldn't have said— that's what confidence is. Not forced. Confidence is the natural result of calibrating over and over and over again. Clear, calibrated, and confident is what I call the foundation of success. Okay, I'm clear, calibrated, and confident in what I do. And because I'm clear, calibrated, and confident in what I do, I could be in a live stream with 2 people in it and this is how I'm gonna deliver. I could be in a live stream with 2,000 people in it and this is how I'm going to deliver. Because when I'm clear, calibrated, and confident, reality no longer has control over me. I've put things back in order. I don't follow reality, reality follows me. I'm clear, calibrated, and confident that I'm the greatest at what I do. It's other people who do what I do, but for my audience, for my sheep, it ain't nobody better who can give them this information. Nobody can outdo me in my lane. And because I'm clear, calibrated, and confident in that, I can see that they having a recession on the news. My skill set, my background, my criteria— this— I'm not stopping what I'm doing to go to no recession. Wouldn't dream of it. I hear other people in this space, Jay, people not spending money on self-development. They'll spend money on Chris Brown tickets and Beyoncé tickets, but people don't invest If I'm unclear, uncalibrated, and unconfident, I hear that and go, oh man, I guess I gotta go do something else. When you're clear, calibrated, and confident, you go, oh man, that, that sucks for you. That sucks for you. When you're clear, calibrated, and confident, your mom might say, Jay, you sure you're gonna get out of the military and you gonna be a hypnotist? Jay, you think you could feed your family? Mom, I don't think I— no, I don't. You right, Mom. I don't think I can feed my family. I know I can't. I, I, I know, I know. I don't even— I used to question it, but I kept calibrating. Every time my nervous system tried to question it, I calibrated again. Every time I saw something on the news that scared the shit out of me, I calibrated again. Every time I second-guessed myself, I calibrated again. Then I calibrated again, and I calibrated so much that my nervous system started doing it for me. And that's what I call confidence. Confidence is when you see something on the news or your friends say, I wouldn't go in that industry, and you don't even got to do it. Your nervous system say bullshit. Or as my grandma would say, the hell you preach, the devil is a lie. Your nervous system does it for you. You don't even gotta consciously set boundaries. Your nervous system say nope, absolutely not. Your nervous system, that's the job. The job I always tell my clients, you don't use willpower to control your— to change your habits. You use willpower to change your mind. And once you successfully change your mind, your nervous system will do it for you. The same way you used to accidentally get nervous, you'll start accidentally getting The same way you used to accidentally second-guess yourself, you'll start accidentally— I remember one time I was hanging out at this speaking event that some friends had invited me to. I'm sitting in the crowd chilling with my lady, and dude come tell me on the show, he said, hey Jay, you think you could do 20 minutes? One of our guys not gonna be able to go up. It was a version, an old version. We would say, oh man, 20 minutes on the spot? I don't know, I don't know, man. This version, I say, 20 minutes, bro? It take me 20 minutes to Set up. Can y'all give me— I can't do nothing with 20 minutes. Can I get 45? If I can get 45, I can work. I can't do nothing with 20 minutes. My wife, my lady said, you gonna just be able to go. What you mean am I just gonna be— do you know who you sleep beside it, man? Come on, man, move around. Like, bro say, bro, take it long. He said, take as long as you need. We gonna move you to the end. Do your thing. I was up there for an hour and a half. I was up there for an hour and a half. No, no notes, no not prepared to speak, but clear. That's what clear, calibrated, and confident look like. And you just reminded me of the Faith Affirmations book I wrote about love. Okay, that's what's up, that's what's up. We're gonna do another live where I open up a panel so I can talk to y'all, so y'all ain't got to do so much typing. I know with typing things get out of whack, and sometimes you might say something I might not see it till later. But those are the first C's: clear, calibrated, and confident. Now, clear, calibrated, and confident is all stuff that happens in here and, and in here. Step 4 is competence. This is where we take action. Repeat after me: step 4 is not step 1. Step 4 is step 4. Step 4 is not step 1. I meet so many people who damage their confidence because they think that step 4 is step 1. They go, I'm gonna start a business, and they start building a website, they start networking, they start learning about funnels and automation and AI. All this stuff. And then they go, Jay, I tried it, it didn't work. I think it's because I'm— I think it's because I'm Black. I think it's because I'm a woman. I think it's because I'm too old. I think it's because I'm not naked and this other girl, she on there, but she, she half naked. Let me tell you something, it didn't work because you was unclear, uncalibrated, and unconfident. If you networking and you unclear, uncalibrated, and unconfident, somebody asks you what you do, oh, I do a little bit of this, I do a little bit of that, I'm trying to— I'm trying to break into speaking. Nobody's hiring a speaker who's trying to break into speaking. Get clear, calibrated, and confident, and go right back in that same room. Get clear, calibrated, and confident, and then start networking. I work with a lot of entrepreneurs, and sometimes I'm looking at websites. I'm a third of the way through the website. I don't know what you do. I don't know if you're a financial advisor. I don't know if you do taxes. I don't know if you you speak. I don't I I don't know what you do. So that lets me know that when you built this website, you were unclear, uncalibrated, unconfident. You going, Jack, I got a website, but it's not converting. Of course it's not converting. You built it when you were unclear, uncalibrated, and unconfident. Get clear, calibrated, and confident, and watch what you start selling just from your TikTok page. Watch what you start selling just from your Insta. Forget about the landing page. I'm not saying that that's not important, but watch how you start accidentally selling stuff just now being clear, calibrated, and confident. I'm clear, calibrated, and confident, so I walk around with hats to say stuff like, I coach bosses. I walk around with shirts to say, ask me to hypnotize you. I would be in the bookstore and somebody say, hey, your hat, man. What what you mean you coach bosses? I go, I'm a clinically trained hypnotherapist. I work with high performers. I think every problem is a thinking problem. I don't care if it's I I can't sell problem. I don't care if it's I'm making more money than I can count, but my wife hates me problem, or my wife loves me, but I'm not making money. I don't every problem is a thinking problem. I teach people how to reprogram their thinking. I get a lot of customers just by showing up clear, calibrated, and confident. So do we understand the, like, the importance of figure out what you want? Understand you can't even book an Uber without a destination. They won't even send a car to you until you got a destination. Don't show up in my office without a destination. Don't show up in my office being an expert of where you don't want— I don't care where you don't want to go. Where you don't want to go is of no use to me. Where do you want to go?

I'm gonna be honest, I don't know.

Once we know where you want to go, we're going to calibrate to that. Okay, what, what size shirt you want to wear? What size jeans you want to wear? What number do you want to see on that scale? Okay, cool. Close your eyes. You got a scale in your bathroom?

Yeah.

Describe the scale to me that's in your bathroom. Uh, it's, it's like a glass scale, got these 2 silver strips, and it got these black digital numbers on it. Okay, imagine standing on that scale when you Feel that scale under your feet. Nod your head. This calibrating.

Yeah.

Look at the the look at those numbers. Tell me what number you see. Two hundred. Try again. What number do you see? One forty-eight. Exactly. And as you look at that one forty-eight, how does that feel?

Cool.

Now imagine your partner just walked in. You see your partner looking at you like they used to look at you. How does that feel? Seeing your partner. Look at you like that. How are you looking? This is calibrating. We're feeding it to the nervous system before it happens. Faith is not logical. Faith is emotional. Faith is an emotion. Faith is something that you feel in your nervous system, not something that you think in your brain. You gotta feel the change in your body. That's what calibrating is. And I'm not going to tell you to go to Planet Fitness. I'm not going to tell you to drink more water, eat less carbs. We gonna do all of that, but it's no point in me telling you to do that Until I get you calibrated. If I— if you're not calibrating, I say, hey, you got to cut back on them carbs. OJ, you don't understand, I love bread. Right now you calibrated to bread. Right now you can't— you calibrated. OJ, I can't do that. If I get you calibrated and then I say, hey, that bread is standing in the way of this thing that we calibrated to, and that you're gonna accidentally lose your desire for bread. Jay, I don't like the way bread— you know, now that I think about it, I feel heavy and bloated every time I eat bread. You gonna accidentally start to change your behavior. You gonna, you gonna accidentally start parking at the back of the parking lot and stop driving around for 20 minutes to find a closer spot. You gonna accidentally start finding creative ways to burn more calories and move your body. And I'm gonna see you next week. I'm gonna say, what you did this week, Jay? You know what, I just, I just remembered I love dancing. I dance 45 minutes a day. I got a little playlist I turn on and I dance. Now you, you melting away. Pound a week, 2 pounds a week just falling off. And you're not miserable. You're not sitting there going, I can't eat carbs, I can't eat carbs, I can't eat carbs, or I can't have a cigarette, I can't have a cig. No, you sitting there saying, suck cancer. I wish I would suck cancer out of a straw and I gotta go walk my daughter down and have a cigarette. I can't have a cig. No, you sitting there saying, suck cancer. I wish I would suck cancer out of a straw and I gotta go walk my daughter down this. I wish I would steal time away from my family by sucking on the damn cancer stick. That's clear, calibrated, and confident. So after we clear, calibrated, and confident, then we go do that stuff. Visualize being completed with the goal. Exactly, that's completely true, Bri. That's how I started losing weight. I would go in the mirror and imagine. If you could think it, you could do it. And if you can feel it, you'll do it on accident. Like, so many people trying to— like, how, Jay, how do I become confident? The question that you should be asking is, how do I feel confident? If you just feel confident, you accidentally be confident. Your being follows your feeling. Think about it. When you feel annoyed, you don't say, I feel annoyed. You say, I'm annoyed. When you feel angry, you don't say, I feel angry. You say, I am angry. When you feel sleepy, you don't say, I feel sleepy. I'm sleepy. If you feel confident, what you think you're gonna say? I'm confident. If you want to be an entrepreneur, I suggest you learn how Feel like an entrepreneur, and you gotta learn how to allow feeling to precede the actual result. You don't get money and then get rich. What happens is you get rich. Now when you get rich, you're gonna accidentally start pricing yourself different. When you get rich, somebody say, "Hey, can you speak at my event?" You can say, "I can," but you gotta understand, and this is your internal dialogue. I can, but you gotta understand, I'm rich now. Well, last year you did it for free. Yeah, I wasn't rich then, but this version of me. You gotta, you gotta cover the— I'm not paying for me to come speak. Like, broke me, poor me, need, needs approval me, wants to be accepted me, would have bought a plane ticket for me to come speak at your event for free. Rich me? Nah, bro, I need you to cover the travel, and I'm bringing the family, so we need a, we need a hotel room for the— Ooh, Jay, I don't know how we gonna do that. Me neither. Go get rich and come back and get rich. You gonna move different rich. You gonna value rich. You gonna— hey, bro, we having a kickback, come to the house. Oh, bro, do you know what, um You know what I could do with 5 hours? Rich you mood. Now if you get rich and you hang out in this energy of rich, the bank account gonna accidentally start responding to this. Same way broke you didn't have to read books about being broke. In debt, you didn't have to study. It was a, it was a natural result of how you felt.

Feel different.

Feel different. So let's be clear, I'm not saying don't go back to school. I'm saying get clear, calibrated, and confident, and then go back to school. I'm not saying that you can't ever date again after your divorce. I'm saying get clear, calibrated, and confident, and then start dating again. You wasting your time dating if you're calibrated to it ain't no good men in the world, it ain't no good women, all women are gold diggers. Why are you going on dates then? I suggest you we just take— let's take a little bit of time, recalibrate, and then go date. Let's get you clear, calibrated, and confident. And then, because if you— let's say you had a job that you want I mean, you got a job that you hate and you go get a new job, but you gonna show up to this new job with the same calibration that you showed up with the old job. And a very short time later you go, oh, this boss don't like me neither. They doing the same stuff. It's not them, it's you. That's what you carrying around. You got people at that same job that you at right now that'll describe that same person that you talking about different, but that's because they kiss ass and I ain't kissing no—

Calibrate different.

different. Calibrate different. Clear, calibrate, confident. And the thing you got to understand, this is a dope thing about the 5 C's, you running them already. And we got one more C to get to, we gonna get to it. You gotta understand, you running the 5 C's on accident. You just got to start running it in the opposite direction. Think about it. You clear about what you don't want. You clear about what you don't want in your relationship. You clear about what you don't want in your job. You clear about what you don't want in your body. And you calibrated to that, and you kept calibrating that to the point where you confident in there. Jay, I'm not confident. Yes, you are. I said, well, what, what if you go home today and your— what if your husband took you on a date this week? Oh, he wouldn't do that. How you know he wouldn't do that? Because that's just not— you confident in it. Well, what if your boss— what if you walked in tomorrow and your boss was there? Oh, my boss wouldn't do that. He gonna, he gonna die, asshole. You, you clear calibrated and confident in what you don't want. So guess what? Your competence is aligned to what you don't want. Get clear about what you want.

You—

like, it's such a dope thing now that I, I get how creation works, because now when I see stuff that I don't like— I'm a human, so my natural reaction is discomfort, is tension in my body, is, oh, I don't like that. But a very short time later, it's a part of me going, what would I rather have? What would I rather have? Like, so let's make it real. We got partners, we adults, we got families, we in relationships. Let's say I'm in my office at the house and I'm working and my girl come in. She go, I guess you just care about your clients way more than you care about us, and you're gonna be in here working on their problems all day like your family not out here thinking, like, like we don't matter, huh? And then she slammed the door and walk off. My first initial— my first reaction, I'm a human, is, well, you, you certainly don't mind me talking to the clients when you at Target and Starbucks swiping the damn card like it ain't no— that's my First reaction, but big me, the version of me that knows how to manifest, the version of me that knows how to get what I want. I'm gonna say, well, what do I? What would I rather have? I'm only planning on working for another hour. I would love to have some adult time tonight. I would love to have some. What do I? What would I rather have? I'm only planning on working for another hour. I would love to have some adult time tonight. I would love to have some fun adult time tonight. I want her in a good mood. I don't want her in that— now I'm gonna get calibrated to that. I'm not gonna get calibrated to what she said. I'm gonna get calibrated to what I want. I want us to have a romantic night. I want to get the kids bathed and put to bed, spend an hour or two with them. But then when we put them kids to bed, I want us to go in our room. I want us to— I'm gonna calibrate to that, and then I'm gonna get clear, calibrated, and confident in that. Then I'm gonna respond to her. Come here, Angry Bird. You want my attention? All you had to do was ask, baby. She, she trying, she trying to be mad and she can't. Now if I calibrated to her, we finna, we finna go at it. But if I say I, I refuse to calibrate today, I'm not recalibrated there. My baby want my attention. I want, I want your attention too. I'm sorry, babe. You know how people work. I get caught away sometimes. I'm trying to pay, pay for all this stuff, but let's get the kids washed up. And she like, no, go back in there and finish your, your important project. I'm done with the finish. You my project. I'm gonna work on this now. I'm gonna accidentally say the right stuff. I'm accidentally putting the right look in my eyes. I'm accidentally moving the way that I need to move to get the result I want. But if I'm calibrated to what I don't want and trying to say the right things from this calibration of what I don't want, it's not gonna work. I'm going through the motions. It's going to fall flat. Does that make sense? Does that make sense? Stop letting other people choose your calibration. Just because an offense is offered doesn't mean that you have to get offended. Let's be clear, I didn't say you weren't allowed to get offended. Uh, about a year— get offended. Let's be clear, I didn't say you weren't allowed to get offended. Uh, about a year and a half, 2 years ago, we were at my cousin's wedding and Day of celebration and have been a good day. And at some point during the reception and everything, uh, it got— it, it took a shift. And it started with the— amongst the women. The women started bickering, going back and forth. Me and my little brother over there chilling. He like, bro, you need— I'm like, bro, that's just, you know, women doing women stuff. I'm not— we, we, we having a good time. They gonna, they gonna talk through it. About 5 minutes after I said that, I look over there and this dude got his finger in my mama face doing this. I was clear, calibrated, and confident, all right? But I wasn't—

it was—

I didn't feel like meditating. I didn't feel like praying. I didn't feel like— nah, the, the hypnotherapist had clocked out. I was on buddy's ass. My little sister say, dude, I ain't seen you act like that in, in, in years. I didn't even know And guess what? Tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and recalibrate to this version of me. But in that moment, I wanted to calibrate to getting on his ass.

Go—

don't touch my mama. Talk to your wife, do whatever you— don't put your finger in my mama face. Like, so I'm not saying you're not allowed to get angry. I'm not saying you're not allowed to fly off the handle when you want, when you decide to fly off the handle. But don't let other people force your calibration. Don't let other people steal your joy. Now you can decide to sit it down and go, I'm gonna place it right here, I'm gonna be right back to get it. But don't let other people bully you emotionally. I got— I don't know if I've, if I've uploaded it yet, it might be in the pipeline to come out, but I got a piece of content where I'm talking about you've mastered controlling your back. Somebody say you stupid, you got no problem saying your mom is stupid. I'm not like— you got no problem standing up for yourself physically, but spiritually and emotionally you let people bully and manipulate you. That same pushback that you got in the physical world, you gotta learn how to have that same pushback mentally and spiritually. And you gotta stop trying to convince other people. I won't even say this, somebody need to hear it because it just jumped in my head. Stop trying to convince other people. It's a full-time job convincing you. You don't got to convince your mama. You don't got to convince your spouse. A little different because, you know, y'all, y'all intimate, y'all share a bed. It might be worthwhile convincing your spouse Case by case, we you know case by case stuff. We don't talk about case by case on a lot, but your best friend don't gotta believe in it. Your friend group don't. You don't gotta convince them. But if you do the work of convincing you, you gonna build something that they couldn't deny anyway. They'll see it when they believe it. And if you try to convince especially people who ain't ever built shit, you gonna waste a lot of time trying to convince somebody who has never built anything. Okay, they will see it. Don't try to convince them. It's a full-time job calibrating you. It's a full-time job managing your own doubt. So don't waste none of that energy on convincing and stop explaining yourself. Why you— why you need a house that big? Because I like it.

I want it.

Like when my daughter asks for things, y'all, my daughter asks for things. She, she go, Daddy, I just saw this dollhouse on, on, on TV. When I get it, I'm gonna put it right beside my other dollhouse. And 5 of my Barbies gonna stay in the other dollhouse, Daddy, and my other 7 Barbies, they gonna stay in the new one because it's huge, Daddy. Now I'm a big creator watching my little creator build subdivisions in her bedroom. You don't think I want to help? I'm going, yeah baby, where this dollhouse at? Let's get you this dollhouse. My mom going, Jay, she don't need another doll. This was never about what she needed. My baby got homeless Barbies in her room and all she needs is $200 or $300. Baby, what is dollhouse? She's in that state of habit. She's already convinced that it's hers. She said, Daddy, when I get it, I'm gonna put it right beside my other dollhouse, and five of my Barbies gonna stay in the old one. My other seven Barbies they gonna stay in the new one. It's huge, Daddy. But imagine if that same little girl walked up to that same dad with that same bag of money, and when Dad, my old dollhouse is stupid. It's not big enough. I've had it for like two years. I need another one. It's so easy for me to say no to her in that frame of mind. When she's in this state of not having, when she's in this state of poor me and complaining, it's no smile to wipe off her face. When she walking there with them big pretty brown eyes and that smile, I couldn't imagine wiping that smile off my baby's face. But when she's already wiped the smile off her own face, it, it ain't, it ain't no harm in me saying no. You already pitiful, you already sad. So It's no smile to wipe away. You gotta start smiling now. You gotta get excited now, and she gonna get it, Daddy. Kids are powerful manifestors. That's another thing. My daughter, even if I say no, she got grandparents that adore her. She got aunts and uncles that adore her. She, she, she knows how to manifest, and I started teaching her from a very early age. I'm not your— I'm not your source. God is your source. I'm one of his vessels that he uses a lot to pass resources to you, but I'm not your source. God is your source. Hypnosis isn't my source. That stage that I talk on is not my source. Those books that I— those are not my source. Those are one of infinite vessels that God can use to bless me. God can use an enemy as a vessel to bless me. Yeah, and they gonna get it. Learn how to get in that state of having. And the last C, before I forget, is consistency. You don't get clarity once. You're gonna keep getting clarity, and every time you get more clarity, you got to calibrate. You're gonna keep recognizing stuff that you don't like, and every time you recognize something you don't like, you're gonna go, okay, first is clarity. I don't like that. Hmm, what would I rather have? I remember when I first started doing what I do, my clarity was I want to be booked and busy. I that ain't what I wanted. I heard it online, and I thought it sounds good. I like yeah, I want this. I want to be booked and busy, man. I got booked and busy. I went hold on. You telling me I got to be booked and busy all day, talk to people all day, then go home and be nice and talk to someone? Nah, I don't want to be booked and busy. I want to be— I want to be reachable to people who ready to invest. And you know, I don't, I don't want to be doing therapy all, all day long. I want to work with a— I want to work with about 10 to 15 people a month, give them my undivided attention. That was my new clarity. You— so you are allowed to change your mind, but You only change your mind because you got new clarity. You don't change your mind because it's too hard. You don't change your mind because you're not sure. You change your mind because you got new clarity. So you're gonna constantly get clarity. I'm gonna give you a real life story in my life about how I use the 5 C's. I used to own a cleaning company before COVID I owned a cleaning company— well, during— I owned it during COVID but before COVID this cleaning company was making a lot of money. Like 20 grand profit was a slow month in this cleaning business. COVID hit, all of our clients fired us. They didn't want the cleaners in their house. Everybody was scared. They fired us. And right away I was calibrated. I was clear, calibrated, and confident in the problem. This isn't fair. I might have to sell my house, change my kids' school. I don't got work for my employees to do. Ah, this is— why are they showing all this stuff on the news? Why is everybody so— I was clear, calibrated, and confident to the problem. And I spent about 3 months clear, calibrated, and confident in the problem. And eventually I had to practice what I preach. All right, Jay, what do you want? And it's something about that question when you, when you calibrate it to the— when you calibrate it to the problem and somebody asks you something like, what do you want? It's gonna piss you off, man. Bro, get off, man. What you mean what I want? What you think I want? Your nervous system needs you to identify it. So we could get it. I said, man, I won't— I want to get back to being the number one cleaning company in the city. I want to have work for my cleaners to do. I got single moms that work for me. I want them to be able to feed their children. I want to keep my house. I want to make money. I, I like my lifestyle. I want to maintain my lifestyle. I got calibrated to that. I spent about 2 days calibrating to that. Now, when I finally got confident in that A good idea found me. I wasn't trying to find a good idea, a good idea found me. Stop marketing the cleaning service as a luxury cleaning service, start marketing the cleaning service as a disinfectant service. People are scared of bacteria. When you walk in the store, it's no disinfectant wipes, it's no Clorox. They've bought all the cleaning stuff. You know who got garages and storage rooms all over town full of storage, full of cleaning supplies?

I do.

You know who got a group of people who anxious to go work?

I do.

It was as simple as changing our Google Ads, changing the tag on the website, retraining our cleaners. Hey, we're no longer— we no longer do, um, high-end cleaning services. We are a disinfectant service now. This is peroxide. We're going to be adding it to all of our cleaners. We're gonna— these are how we're gonna be mixing stuff. And retrained them. A week later, we got a waiting list. Went from no clients to a waiting list. Went from no clients to I'm doing a hiring event and I'm literally hiring people on the spot. Can you start today? Can you can you start today?

Can you start?

The cleaning company did so well in that short period of time that I was able to sell it. It was really profitable on paper. I was able to get out and go focus on what I really want to do full time. But that was on it was a problem that created that scenario. And then I had— I was doing this. I had a little, a little practice on the side, and I was just doing this here and there, but I could no longer see my clients in person. So I— in person, because in Washington they had shut everything down. But so I took this to online, and thanks to that, I got clients literally all over the world. I got clients in the UK, I got clients in Canada, I got a client in Tokyo, I got clients everywhere. Because of this thing that presented itself as a problem. Problems become stepping stones when you throw the 5 C's at it. What do I want? Can't get what I want till I know what I want. I'm not gonna sit here and meditate on what I don't want. What do I want? And a lot of people say, well, Jay, how do I get clarity? Look at what you don't like and ask yourself, what would I rather have? Like, somebody will go, Jay, my husband, he never takes me on dates. He's not romantic. He's not gonna do this. He don't do this. He What do you want? What you mean, what do you want? I want to feel considered. I want to feel— and start having that conversation. And when you start having that conversation the way that you had an old conversation, you're gonna start— you're gonna start showing up different. You're gonna start showing up different, and you're gonna start feeling appreciated. You're gonna start feeling so appreciated that you're gonna show up to the house with your own flowers. He gonna see those flowers and go, who bought you those flowers? You gonna say, I got them. I like having flowers in the house. It makes me feel pretty. It makes me feel important.

Oh, okay.

Next, a week go by, those flowers start dying. You go get you some more flowers. He gonna say, who gave you those flowers? And it's a card on it. Oh yeah, I bought my own flowers. I wrote myself a card. He gonna say, oh, okay. Next time, he gonna beat you to the punch. You're not gonna be out flowering me. Yeah, like you, you sitting there in that state of what you don't want and you continuing to get what you don't want. Allow your feelings and your emotions to go into what you want and watch how your reality has no choice but to catch up. Your reality is following you. But when you looking at your reality and deciding how to feel based on what's going on out there, it's like a dog chasing his own tail. Reality is following you, but you following what's already happened. You gotta understand that the result of your bank account right now is the result— your banking account right now is a result of your thinking up to this point. The number that you see on the scale right now is the result of your thinking and feeling up to this point. So when you see the bank account and you allow the bank account to put a feeling in you, then the bank account look to you to say, okay, what now, boss? You say, not enough money. Bank account say, okay. Then you look at the bank account, see not enough money in the bank account. You say, what now, boss? You say, still not enough money. And the bank account waiting on you to change. You waiting on the bank account change, but the bank account waiting on you to change money. The bank account—you say what now, boss? You say still not enough money. And the bank account waiting on you to change. You waiting on the bank account change, but the bank account waiting on you to change. You on the scale to change, but the scale is waiting on you to change. You got to stop looking at that stuff out there and deciding how to feel. Close your This is why you close your eyes when you pray. This is why you close your eyes when you meditate. This is why you close your eyes when you get hypnotized because you take your attention. Off of the problem and you go in here and create a solution. The Bible literally opens up, in the beginning the earth was black void and without form. Close your eyes and tell me, what do you see? And from that black void formless place, what did God do? He started using his words to create. Go to that black void formless place and start using your words to create. Why do you think God made you in his image? That's what I think. That's what I believe. I'm, I'm a creator. My kids are made in my image. My daughter is my face, copying face. My daughter's grandmother calls her Jay's face. She said, hey, Jay, she's my daughter. She's made in my image. And she was made in somebody else's image, we would be getting a DNA test because whose image is she made in? She's she's my child. She's in my image. Whose else image would he make us in? Oh, I know. I'm saying that's why he did. Oh, I gotcha. I gotcha. I got. Oh yeah. I'll be offended if my child was made in. What you mean my child made in somebody else's? Okay. Well, take y'all. Y'all go over there with them. Yeah, but mine is in in my image. But yeah, we are creators, and as I study more. This is what I'm really starting to realize. We're not actually creators. Our real job is discovering what's already here. God created everything already. God didn't tell Adam to create anything. God said, hey Adam, I made this garden, I got these animals, I want you to come manage what I created. I didn't create I Coach Bosses. God created I Coach Bosses and he gave it to me to manage. And now that I'm— it takes a lot of the stress off me. I ain't got to create, I just got to manage. Creators create. God made that abundant living. God made that all of these streams of revenue that I got. God created them. He just gave them to me through me, me sitting down and being still. He gave them to me in the form of ideas, and I just manage all of this cool stuff that God already created. But when you stressed and you so wrapped up in the struggle, you don't you can't even recognize what's already here. We didn't create electricity; we discovered electricity. We didn't create gravity. We discovered gravity. God created gravity. God created electricity. We just got to discover what's already here. That business that you want to build, the customers, they already here. The employees, they already here. The people who need that thing that you offer, they already here. That person that you want laying beside you in the bed every night, they already here. If they're not here, they probably way too young for you. They already here. You don't got to create them. You got to hold yourself in a frequency so when you meet them, you feel like a match. I do a lot of coaching. I meet some— I meet people who go, man, I want to date somebody who's playful, I want to date somebody who's fun, I want to date somebody— but they put the playful and the pop and the fun on pause. They waiting on the person to come unlock the playfulness in them. If I'm playful and I'm fun and I meet you and you're not playful enough, I don't want to talk to you. So you can't wait on them to unlock your playful and your, your fun. You got to be playful, you got to be fun right now. So when they see you, they go, hold on, That's what, that's what I'm looking for. If you waiting on them to unlock it in you, like, y'all gonna keep missing each other. Be that now. Neville Goddard said assume the feeling, not check and see it a thousand times, not check the bank account and verify. Assume the feeling. If I was rich right now, what would my body language be like? Would I dress the same? Would I walk the same? Would I— how would I talk if I was rich right now? How would I hold space? I wouldn't be shrinking. I would be— if I was rich right now, start being that right now. Now you don't wait on the bank account. You go first. You are a leader. Leaders go first. Most people, if I say, are you a leader? Most people not gonna say no. Most people say, hell yeah, I'm a leader. Leaders go first. Leaders go first. Me and my homeboy, we ain't fall out, but we had a very tense conversation not too long ago. Because he was talking about how, man, I apologize when she apologize. I'll start doing what I'm supposed to do with her when she. Hold on, bro. My bad. I thought I thought you was a leader. Nigga, I am a leader. Like, bro, will leaders go first? Leaders go if you want your own, bro. My bad. I thought I thought you was a leader. Nigga, I am a leader. Like, bro, will leaders go first? Leaders go if you want your marriage back on track. Be a leader. Well, Jay, you can't lead a person who ain't willing to be led. That's where the law of attraction come in. That's where the law of attraction come. You don't get to decide whether or not I'm a leader. I'm a leader. Now, if you're not willing to be led, law of attraction gonna take care of that, and we gonna get you. Somebody gonna end up in your spot who wants to be led. But you don't get to— I'm not gonna look at how you behave and say I'm no longer a leader. You don't get to dictate whether or not I'm a leader. I am a leader. Leaders lead.

Leaders go first.

Stop letting— I'll be nice when they be— you are a leader. Leaders go first in the— not just in the physical. Leaders go first physically. Leaders go first spiritually. And leaders go first emotionally. Leaders go first on all 3 planes. You gotta understand that water, steam, and ice are all H2O. It's just H2O at different rates of vibration. It's all the same stuff at different rates of vibration. Yo, I— the, the acorn is the oak tree. I keep acorns. I give acorns to my clients, and I train my clients to look at this and see an oak tree. What's this? No, it's not an acorn. It's an oak tree. What's this? It's oak tree. This is an oak tree. I got an oak tree in between my 2 fingers. That's how powerful I am. I got an oak tree inside of my 2 fingers. That's how powerful I— if God can fit an oak tree inside of this, you don't think God can fit a business inside of me? You don't think God can fit a book inside of me? You don't think God could fit a business inside of me? You don't think God could fit a legacy inside of me? If God can stuff an oak tree inside of here Just imagine what God can fit inside of you. Next time you go outside, I encourage you to find you an oak— find you an oak tree. Don't you ever call this an acorn again. This is an oak tree. If you're gonna be a high performer— that's what I coach. The people I coach, I call them high performers. If you want to join those ranks, you got to become the type of— this is a requirement, it's not a suggestion. If you want to be in the ranks of what we consider high performers, you got to become the type of person To see oak trees where other people see acorns. You got to become the type of person to see full-blown business where other people see, man, that's a good idea. What you mean? The idea is the business. The desire is the relationship. If you got the idea, you got the business. If you got the oak tree, you got the acorn. If you got the acorn, you got the oak tree. I see so many people holding acorns wishing for oak trees. Man, I wish I had an oak tree. Man, I wish I had an oak tree. She got an oak tree. The only reason she got oak trees is because her daddy get— if I had a rich daddy, I have an oak tree too. You got an oak tree, you just so busy looking at other people oak trees that you ain't planted your own. The idea is the business, the desire is to be. If you got the idea, if you got it in here, you got it out there. You just gotta hold it in here until out there catches up. Out there always takes time to catch You don't have the baby the instant you get pregnant, but if you stay pregnant, if you stay pregnant, you gonna get a baby. Now, if you abort the baby, damn right you didn't have a baby. You, you terminated it. But if you stay pregnant, the baby is coming. Think about it. You've never seen a pregnant woman walking around with a checklist going, yo, I need 100 trillion cells. You know, I can get a brain. They say I need 2 lungs, a kidney. Lord, I don't know where I'm gonna get a heart from. Oh wait, this is stressing me. She don't got to build a baby. She just got to give the baby an environment to grow in. You don't got to build the the business. You got to give the business an environment to grow in. You don't got to build the relationship. You got to give the relationship an environment to grow in. You don't got to go wrestle your family trauma and the generational curses to the ground. You got to get clear about what you want and give that desire an environment to grow in. And as that desire grows in you, you're gonna accidentally start responding to your siblings different. You're gonna accidentally start talking to your mom and your, your dad. You gonna accidentally start healing your family dynamic. And then on the other side of the change, I see this with like other hypnotists all the time. Bro, how did you do that in one session, man? I could— because I study this, I could give you an elaborate answer and make it sound good. But to simplify it for you, I became the version of me that could see the version in them that they forgot was there, and I started talking to that version. If somebody come to me and say, hey, Coach Jay, I gotta quit smoking, if I decide I'm gonna work with them, my job is to already go in and see the non-smoker inside of them. And I'm gonna stop talking to that old version. I'm gonna start talking to this. So now that you're a non-smoker, what you gonna do with all that extra money that you used to spend on cancer sticks? It's my language. Gonna change on accident. The way I talk to them, like most people gonna talk to them, say, oh, they gonna meet them with it. I'm not talking to this. I'm not negotiating with this version of you. I'm talking to the non-smoker that's already inside. Jay, I gotta lose 100 pounds. My job is to get in my imagination and start to see a version of you that's already 100 pounds lighter. So in my mind, I'm going, damn girl, you, you look good. You didn't— wow, you didn't shook back fat. I'm not even talking to that version. I'm talking to the, the hundred, the version of you that's 100 pounds lighter. And as I talk to that version of you, it starts to claw its way to the front, and you accidentally start to change. But you don't need me to do that. You can do that for yourself. You don't have no healing to do, no generational curse to break. It's already done. And then you sit in that doneness, and that's what calibration is about. You gotta understand that old you That old identity, it's, it's a, it's an entity. It does. And just like you don't want to die, it doesn't want to die. This is why I always tell my clients, let's work on one, maybe two things at a time. And just like you don't want to die, it doesn't want to die. This is why I always tell my clients, let's work on one, maybe two things at a time. Because a lot of times what happened is once we start doing this work and we start rewiring your mind, that old entity doesn't want to die. So as a result, to keep you stuck, keep you scared, and keep you in line, it tends to shake up that area of your life. So if we're working on your marriage, your business, your parenting relationship, helping you quit smoking and help you lose some weight all at once, and we start building all of these new identities— you say, Jay, you're not gonna believe this, my husband just filed for divorce. Jay, you're not gonna believe this, I stepped on the scale this morning, I gained 9 pounds. I've been doing everything I'm supposed to. Jay, my daughter told me And then you got all these areas, man, work on. Even— oh, look at God. Even in scripture, God, as powerful as God was creating in an orderly fashion, one thing at a time, and he didn't go to the next thing until he noticed the previous thing was good. And it was so, and it was good. Then he went to the— Now, if God is doing one thing at a time, why are you out here trying to Why are you out here trying to do 10 things at a— pick one. What's the thing that's keeping you up at night right now? Let's work on it. Then we'll take the momentum from that and roll it into the next thing. You'll be surprised what you could do in 3 months just with one thing at a time. One thing at a time. What's your top— Well, Jay, I've been watching your content. I, I gotta lose some weight. I gotta quit smoking. I want to be more confident. I want to do this. I want to do this. I want to be a millionaire by the end of the year. I want Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. When you booked the call, what was the one thing that was really burning in your mind? Then you'll be surprised, a lot of this stuff, it tie in. So it tie in in such a lovely way. And when we started to fix that one thing, a lot of this stuff accidentally untangled itself. What's the one thing? Let's work on it. Let's work on manifesting one thing at a time. But Jay, I want this too, and I want this too. I want You acting like— like Abraham Hicks used this, this analogy that I just love. Would you want to go to a buffet right now and eat all the food that you would ever enjoy right here, right now? All the food that you'll ever try, all the stuff, all the new snacks, everything that you'll ever taste, everything. Would you want to go into a buffet and eat all of that right now?

No.

Sounds stupid. What am I gonna spend the rest? You got time. Time gonna pass anyway. What do you want? Now let's put all of that energy. With a lot of my weight loss clients, even if you gotta go like 100 pounds, yo, let's say you at— let's say you at 310. When we get to the part, the 4th C, and we start to take action, I don't want you using your energy to lose 100 pounds. I want every cell, every fiber, every attention, every parcel of focus that you got focused on moving that scale to Hell yeah, we did it! Now I want every spectacle of your attention focused on moving that scale to 308. I want every piece of your attention focused on moving that scale to 307. Jay, I lost 3 pounds this week. I know, I want it— like, losing 100 pounds is hard, but I'm saying, okay, I'm gonna see you next week, I want you to be 1 pound lighter next week. I'm gonna see you next week, I want you to be 1 pound lighter next week. And now your confidence going up and you— oh shit, I'm good at losing weight. You 10 pounds down, we having a different— all right, Jay, I'm gonna see you next week. I'm gonna be down. I'm gonna go lose my little pound. All right. And you start picking up that momentum. Then you start rolling that same momentum into your finances. Then you start rolling that same momentum into your marriage. Then you start rolling that same momentum into your business. Stop feeling like you gotta manifest the whole thing in one go. I deal my business in $5,000 increments. When I first moved to Dallas from Washington State, my first goal was, all right, we're in business, let's go, let's get this business generating $5,000 a month. Boom, we have $5,000. Let's get this business generating $10,000 a month. But my, my faith is at a point where $5,000 is not a lot of money, man. I can, I can manifest $5,000 like that. Million gonna take some time, but I can manifest— I could blink, I could damn near blink and manifest $5,000. Find an area in your life where you comfortable right now manifesting. That might be $100 for you, that might be $200 for you. If you have mastered manifesting $100, why would you try to manifest $1,000? Just manifest $100 10 times. But as you're doing it and that momentum picks up, that number gets bigger. Your faith picks up momentum and it gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. bigger. I could align with that, J-Dub. The Next Day Principle. I haven't read though, but it sounds like something I would probably thumb through. But yo, I'm gonna get ready to land. Are we good on the 5 C's? Anybody got questions, comments, concerns? Anybody interested in working with me, click the link in my bio. Anybody interested in accessing our free hypnosis audios, click the link in the bio. We got all types of resources. If this your first time here and you haven't hit the