Coach Jay Shaw shows how a client stuck in a sexless marriage changed his identity from someone who doesn't get intimacy to someone who does. Three days later, intimacy improved dramatically. Jay's framework: adopt the identity of who already has what you want, then your behavior and results follow.
I had a client come in because he and his wife hadn't been intimate in months. As we talked, I could feel that he'd built an identity around it. I'm the guy who never gets it, even though I pay the bills and do this and do that. It was in his body. It was in his story. It was in his eyes, his tone, his posture. So I asked him, if you move through the house as the man who never gets any intimacy, why would your wife feel drawn to you. And he brushed that off, and he asked me if I could hypnotize him to be more influential so that he can get her in the mood. And I told him that I could, but it wouldn't work because real intimacy is mutual and it's freely chosen. And plus, I'm not a marriage counselor. But lucky for this guy, it wasn't a marriage problem. This is manifesting 101: identity, state, behavior, result. Become the man that you would be if the water park was already open. And your nervous system will stop selling this story of the water park is permanently closed. And I proceeded to hypnotize him to start showing up different. We changed his presence. We changed the way he walked down the house. We slowed down his breathing. We introduced warmth, saying good morning like he means it, with soft eyes, playing, flirting. We became the person he would be if the water park was already open. Well, his session was 3 days ago, and he just called me and said that last night Was amazing. Same marriage, new identity. Let that sink in. Same marriage, new identity. And what I really want to drive home is that this isn't just with intimacy. This is everything. The bank account, the credit score, the number on the scale. You don't get what you deserve. You get what you are aligned with. If you are aligned with waterpark closed, get ready. The waterpark will stay closed. Ask yourself, who would I be if it was already done? And act from that identity. I'm Coach Jay. I coach bosses. Click the link in my bio to get access to all our resources.
