Reprogramming Your Mind for Success (How to Take Control of Your Reality)

We're talking about what we always talk about, the fact that you could be, do, and have anything you desire. The only limit in life is your own imagination. If you can think it, you can do it. Can't think it, can't do it. If you could think it, if you could focus on it, if you could put your mind on it, you can do it. You can't hold it in your mind, you ain't got to worry about holding it in your hands. And most people so busy working on the bank account that they forget to work on their mind. They're so busy working on the business that they forget to work on their mind. They're so busy working on all the stuff out there— the relationship, the job, the body, whatever it is— that they forget to work on the thing that's really driving the show: the mind. The mind tells the body what to do. You don't got to tell the body what to do. It's not your job to tell the body what to do. It's your job to tell the mind what to do. You got to kind of look at it like a chain of command. It's not your job to tell your hands what to do. It's not your job to tell your mouth what to do. It's not your job to tell your legs what to do. It's your job to tell your mind what to do. It's not your job to build this thing habit by habit, goal by goal. Your job is to build an identity that accidentally sets those habits in place. Your job is to build an identity that accidentally changes your body language. You don't use willpower. to stand in a confident manner. You don't use willpower to talk confidently. You don't use willpower to build a business. You use willpower to say, I'm going to build the type of personality, I'm going to build the type of identity that allows me to accidentally do those things. So many people think that confidence is a body language or a certain way of dressing or a certain way of showing up. Confidence is something that happens in here. Confidence is a chemical cocktail. And once you build that internal chemistry, man, you'll accidentally have the body language of a confident person. You accidentally start to pick up confident communication styles. But when you try to force all of that, all of those techniques on top of a nervous system that doesn't feel confident, you hustling backwards. Every problem is a thinking problem. Every problem is a thinking problem. I don't care if it's a I don't have enough money problem. I don't care if it's a my marriage sucks problem. I don't care if it's a I don't like my body problem. Every problem is a thinking problem. And if you change your thinking, you'll accidentally solve the problem. But if you don't change your thinking, I don't care how hard you work on that problem, that problem is going to continue to grow. That problem is going to continue to stretch. You gotta change your thinking. You do not solve a problem by working on the problem. Stop working on the problem. Stop working on the problem. Working on the problem is what's keeping you stuck. Working on the problem is what's keeping you frustrated. Working on the problem is the reason you're anxious and overwhelmed and depressed. Stop working on the problem. Well, Jay, if I don't supposed to work on the problem, what am I supposed to work on? The solution, silly. That time that you finish— the time that you're spending stressing, that time that you, you're spending analyzing, the time that you're spending complaining— start using that time to focus on the solution. Start using that time to align yourself with the solution. When you take your attention off of the problem and start to put your attention on the solution, you You're gonna accidentally start getting some good ideas. You're gonna accidentally— when you focus on the problem, you'll find people who will listen to you complain. You'll find people who will complain with you and compare stories with you. When you stop focusing on the problem, you're not gonna start— you're gonna stop finding those people, and you're gonna start finding people who help you brainstorm ideas. You're gonna start finding people who say, oh man, I went through that same thing 3 years ago. This is what I did. I read this book. I worked with this coach. I went with— I did this. If you talking about the problem, you're going to start to create an environment that's full of the problem. If you stop focusing on the problem, so to focus on your solution, you're going to accidentally build an environment that's full of the solution. You got a choice to make. Are you going to be hypnotized by the problem, or are you going to be hypnotized by the solution? You gotta understand that faith works no matter what you point it at. And I meet a lot of people who got faith, but But the faith is in the problem. You got to take your faith out of the problem and put your faith in the solution. You got to take your faith out of this isn't working for me, things never work out, and put your faith in I'm creative, I'm resourceful, I got the ability to learn, I got the ability to stretch, I got the ability to develop. If I could think my way into it, I could think my way out of it. You got to stop practicing the problem. And you got to know what you want. A lot of people, when we first start working together, they are experts in what they don't want. They'll come in, I said, how can I help you today? Oh, Coach Jay, I'm so glad that you was able to work me into the schedule. My life is a mess. Let me tell you about my job. My boss, they overwork me, they underpay me, they don't give me no vacation time. See, I haven't got a raise in 3 years and it's horrible. I don't like my co-workers and my home life ain't no better. My Me and my wife don't even sleep in the same room. My kids don't listen to me. I can't afford to get a divorce. Jay, see, my life went wrong. They experts in the problem. I let them get that off their chest. I said, okay, so what, what do you want? Oh Jay, I just want to be happy. Wait a minute, you got stories, you got emotions, you got feelings, you got entire narratives, you got entire movies about what you don't want. When I say, well, what do you want? Jay, I just want to be happy. Let's look, let's look at this like a scale. If we on the side of the scale that's talking about what you don't want, you got all of this emotion, all of this neural activity, all of this neural behavior going into the direction of what you don't want. But when we talk about what you want, it's vague, it's mystical, it's this sense of too bad it'll never happen. Why do you think your life is heavily reflecting what you don't want? That's why all your energy is— that's why all your focus is— that's why all your resources Where attention goes, energy flows. You don't got bad luck, you got bad focus. You don't got an anxiety disorder, you got a focus disorder. You are addicted to what you don't want. You are addicted to that job. You got off work hours ago and you're still talking about that damn job. You talking about that job on your off day. You talking about that job on your vacation. You waking up out your sleep thinking about that. It ain't the job, it's you not being able to control your mind. And you can go get a new job, but if you don't learn how to control your mind, you're gonna find those same types of problems. Every problem is a thinking problem.

Say that out loud.

Every problem is a thinking problem. If I say it, you might hear it, but if you say it, not only do you hear it, your neurology gets to interact with it. Words don't teach, experience does. Every problem is a thinking problem. I don't care what the presenting issue is. Everybody that steps into my office, my goal is never to change their behavior. I, I don't care about your behavior. My goal is never to change your behavior. My goal is to assist you in changing the way you think and feel, because I know that if I change the way you think and feel, you'll develop new behavior on accident. If you come to me and say, hey, hey, Coach Jay, I smoked 2 packs of cigarettes Cigarettes a day. You think I can make you quit? Absolutely. But the way that I make you quit is not by making you quit. The way that I make you quit is by getting you to think and feel different. Right now, you think cigarettes help you relax. You think cigarettes help you calm down. You think sure cigarettes help you manage stress. I don't gotta change your your relate. I don't gotta change what you do with cigarette. I just gotta remind you. Hey, every time you suck on that cigarette, you essentially sucking cancer out of a straw. You, you're sucking cancer out of a straw 20 times a day. Not only that, you spending $400 a month to suck cancer out of a straw. Man, you good at this. That's crazy. And I know they told you you addicted to nicotine, but I've been doing this for a long time. I've never met anybody that was addicted to nicotine patches. I never met anybody who was addicted to You're not addicted to nicotine gum. Nobody has ever asked me to hypnotize them because they couldn't stop chewing nicotine gum. You're not addicted to nicotine. You have a habit of sucking cancer out of a straw, and this habit of sucking cancer out of a straw right now is stronger than your love for your daughter. It's stronger than your love for your wife, and you low-key acting like a bitch that can't tell your mind what to think and tell your thoughts what to feel. But I know you, the real you. My only job is to change the way you think and feel about cigarettes. I'm not addicted to nicotine gum. If you change— if I change the way you think and feel about cigarettes, you'll accidentally stop picking up the cigarettes. No cravings, no weight gain, none of that. If it's about— it's not about changing what you do, it's about changing how you think and feel. That's the purpose of affirmations. Affirmations— the per— the purpose of affirmations is to change the way you think and feel. Purpose of a vision board is to change the way you think and feel. All these— the 369 method and like writing it out and scripting and journaling, affirmations, incantations— all of these manifesting tools, the purpose of the tool is to change the way you think and feel. So instead of asking yourself, what do I need to do? Who do I need to meet? How many times a day do I need to post? I'm not saying that that stuff isn't important. I am saying it's something that has to happen before that. How would I think and feel if I was already that version of me? How would I think and feel if my content was already viral? How would I think and feel if my brand was already a household name? How would I approach this if I already had everything I wanted? I know how you approach it when you need the money to pay your bills. I know how you approach it. But man, if I don't sell this, I'm not gonna eat. Let's say that the money wasn't an issue. You had the money thing figured out. You were secure in who you are, how would you approach it? Start learning how to sit in that energy. And as you sit in that energy, life has no choice but to respond to that energy. You gotta understand that ideas give birth to ideas that give birth to ideas. Good ideas give birth to other good ideas that give birth to other good ideas that give birth to other good ideas. Fearful ideas give birth to other fearful ideas that give birth to other fearful ideas that give birth to other fearful ideas. One good feeling, one good thought can change everything if and only if you sit with it. I'm glad you came here too. You don't got to change your life. Change your thinking. That's your goal. Your job is to change your thinking. Change your thinking. What type of thoughts do I need to be thinking so that I'll accidentally do the things that I need to do? Most people try to skip right to changing behavior, try to skip right to changing the bank account. You don't change— like, so people always— I was talking to a guy the other day, he was asking me like how soon— he wanted to be hypnotized for abundance and allowing abundance to flow. And his question was, how soon will I notice results? I said instantly. But what you got to understand is The hypnosis doesn't change your bank account. The hypnosis changes you. You're gonna start feeling more confident instantly. You're gonna start feeling more creative instantly. You're gonna start feeling valued and appreciated instantly. Now what you do is you take this confident, valuable person into the job market, and what used to seem like a lot of money to you, that don't seem like a lot of money to you. What used to seem like out of reach to you now seems in reach. Now that version of you is going to change the bank account. The hypnosis is not going to change your bank account. The hypnosis is going to change you. Then this new version of you is going to change the bank account. The hypnosis isn't going to fix your marriage. The hypnosis is going to change what's going on in here and what's going on in here. But now that something different is going on in here, now you're gonna accidentally say different stuff. Stuff that used to push you over the edge and used to make you You gonna— oh, I'm gonna control myself. I'm gonna respond different. And over the next several weeks, you're gonna make a series of different choices that the old you wouldn't have made, and your bank account has to catch up to that. Then another few weeks pass, and you're gonna make decisions in that few weeks that the old you wouldn't have made. You're gonna say things in that few weeks that the old you wouldn't have said, and the bank account is going to respond to that. The marriage is going to respond to that. The business is going to respond to that. You got to understand that the affirmation's not going to fix your bank account. The vision board was never about fixing in your bank account, the vision board, the affirmations, the exformations, the incantations, the 369 method— knock yourself out. Pick whatever tool gets you excited. The, the tool changes you in here. Like, the purpose of prayer is not to make life lighter. The purpose of prayer is to make you stronger. It was never about making life easier. It's about developing you. Self-development. It's called self-development. Development. Not let me fix my wife so I could be happy. Not let me fix my child so I can be happy. Let me fix my boss so I could be happy. Self-development. Tired of not being aware when the government controls you. Government don't control me, man. I got— I control— I got this personal economy that I'm in full control over. But it's self-development, not fix my government so I could be happy, fix my marriage so I could be happy. Happiness comes from the inside out. Confidence comes from the inside out. Everything that you want, until you learn how to hold it in here, you'll never have it out there. If you don't become rich in here, you'll never have it out there. You can win the lottery, and if you don't win the— you can win the lottery out there, but if you don't become rich in here, guess what's gonna happen? You're gonna separate yourself from that money. You gotta become rich in here. You got to become confident in here. You got to become successful in here. Before you can do successful— before you can do entrepreneurship, you gotta become an entrepreneur. I tell my athletes all the time, you don't get a trophy and then become a champion. What happens is you become a champion. You become a champion. Now, when you become a champion, your body language gonna change. The aura around you gonna change. Your— the standard you hold yourself to gonna change. You gonna— from the inside out, you're gonna say, a champ— a champion would be drinking way more water. A champion wouldn't be eating all these damn carbs. A champion would be eating way more protein. You're gonna see your teammate that happens to be your homeboy, you used to pull him in his bullshit, he gonna come to you and be like, bro, let me tell you what's going— you're gonna be like, bro, champion win. You gonna accidentally start saying stuff and doing stuff and behaving in a way that the old you wouldn't do. EFT tapping is a great modality. Put those meridians back in balance. But I say all this to say, no tool will save you. All the tools are about helping you manage what's going on in here. Jay, what's the perfect affirmation? There is no perfect affirmation. Jay, I'm using my vision board, it's not working. It's working, it's just not working out there. It's working in here. It's like when you plant a seed, You gotta understand that the seed grows downward before it grows upward. Okay, so if you plant a seed and you standing in your front yard looking at the spot where you planted the seed, you standing there going, man, it's not working. Whole time it's underground developing. It's gonna build its root structure before it starts to build branches and trunks and leaves and everything else. It starts underground. But if you look at the root system, that root system looks a lot like the neural pathways in your brain. It looks a lot like those connections that happen in your brain. That's exactly what happens when you build something. You plant a seed, it starts in here. It has to change your mind before it can change your life. It has to change your thoughts and feelings before it can change your marriage. Because what people do is they try to put techniques on top of the same thinking and feeling that created the problem. Oh, I got a new technique. This technique is going to save me. That technique is not going to save you. Only thing that technique can do for you is aid you in changing the way you think and feel. Then these— from this new place of thinking and feeling, you're gonna accidentally start to say things that you wouldn't say. You got to start thinking and feeling on purpose. If you want to be successful, you got to get in the habit of thinking and feeling on purpose. If you're already successful and you want to stay successful, you got to get in the habit of thinking and feeling on purpose. And what I notice is most people have no problem controlling Theirself in the physical. If you push me in the physical, I'm gonna push you back in the physical. If you call me stupid in the physical, I'm not you stupid. I'm gonna push— I'm gonna stand my ground in the physical. But you got the same way that you stand your ground in the physical, the same way you refuse to be bullied in the physical, you got to learn how to stand your ground emotionally. You got to learn how to stand your ground spiritually. Just because somebody offered an offense don't mean that you got to get offended. When I'm flowing, I'm in this room and we doing what we do. Trolls come here all the time, man. It's stupid. That stuff don't work. You got to learn how to look through stuff that don't align where you headed like a window. You got to learn the art of being unbothered. You got to learn the art of being unfazed. And you got to constantly be asking yourself this one question: what would I rather have? I got any photographers in here? Anybody into photography in here? Photographers understand the power of contrast. Photographers understand that contrast is necessary to get a clear picture. Contrast is necessary to make a picture pop. That contrast in your life is there to help you really define your abundance. I live the life I live today because I once was in a life with so much contrast that I had this clear Clear. Like, don't like that, don't like that, don't like— I used to be in the military. I hated being in the military. Couldn't grow my beard, couldn't wear my nose ring, couldn't grow my hair, had to wear camouflage every day, couldn't live where I wanted to live, couldn't do what I want. I had all of this contrast, and I was focused on the contrast when the purpose of the contrast is to help the main thing stand out in front. Okay, I, I want to grow my beard, I want to wear my nose ring, I want to wear my earrings, I want to grow my hair, I want to live where I want to live, I want to work where I want to— I don't want to work I don't want— I don't want people telling me what to do. I wanna get paid to do things I would do for free. Oh, I want to get paid to do things that I would do for free. If NBA players can make the type of money they make playing basketball, if NFL players can make the money— type of money they make playing football, I should be able to get paid to run my mouth. I should get paid to talk about things and read books and stand on stages and have conversations that I'm already having for When I started focusing on that, when I took my attention off of, I can't, I can't, I don't like this, I don't like this, I gotta live here, I can't do this, I can't— when I took my attention off of what I can't do and put my attention on what I would rather be doing, I accidentally started reading new books, accidentally started listening to different podcasts, accidentally started watching different stuff on YouTube. And what happened is my environment started to accidentally change. I accidentally started finding new friends. Accidentally broke up with the person I was dating at that time. They didn't like this version of me. This version of me was lame to them, and that's good because the old— that version of them was now lame to me. As I started changing what was going on inside, as I started changing what I was feeding myself, I accidentally changed my friends. I accidentally changed my environment, accidentally changed my diet, my physical diet and my mental and spiritual diet. Accidentally changed that. As I changed that, I accidentally changed my career. I accidentally changed my bank account. I accidentally changed the car I was driving and the house.

I—

but But the change started with my focus. Think about it, when you focus on a sad movie, you don't got to try to feel sad, just focus on the sad movie. If you focus on a funny movie, you don't got to try to laugh, just focus on the funny movie. If you focus on what you don't want, you don't got to try to get anxious, you don't got to try to feel overwhelmed, you don't got to try to feel stressed out and depressed, just keep focusing. On what you don't want. But when you say, I don't want that, and instead of going on a rant about why you don't want it, you say, I don't want that, I'd rather have this. Like, let's say I wanted to grow this room. I say, damn, it's only 13 people in here. Most people would go, it's only— she got a lot of people in her life because she'd be on there half naked. They'll go on a whole rant about why it's only 13 people. I'm gonna say, damn, it's only 13 people here. This content harder I want this live jumping. I want this live going. I want everybody in here tapping the screen. I want everybody in here to pick 5 people who will be benefited by what we're talking about and share the live. And when we done with the live, if y'all don't mind, if what you find in here is valuable, go on my page and like 2 or 3 videos and leave 2 or 3 comments. As I just start talking about what I want, as I just start describing what I want, it's gonna change the way I feel. And as I change the way I feel, guess what's gonna change with my feeling? My body language. My energy, my delivery, how I talk, the ideas that we talk about, the momentum that we pick up. As I change the way I feel, that number has no choice but to go with me. So we got a choice to make. You got to start asking yourself, am I gonna follow that number, or I'm— or I— am I gonna force that number to follow me? Yeah, Lake, if you want to get hypnotized, click the link in my bio and, um, fill out the, uh, the free consultation so I can talk and see exactly what you What you got going on? Does that make sense? I, I got a choice to make. The law of attraction, the law of vibration is indifferent. Its job is to align like energy. So if I see that number and I align to that number, the law of attraction say, did my job, I'm done. If I see that number, that's absolutely not— I'm not aligning to that. I'm gonna force that to align to me, and I'm gonna set the bar here, and I'm gonna hang here steady while that number catches up. It's Law of Attraction's job to go do what it does in the algorithm. It's the Law of Attraction's job to align me with the ideas and the resources and the people to get me there. It's not my job to make the number grow. My job is to hold my frequency. The Law of Attraction will grow the number. It's not your job to put the money in the bank account. It's your job to hold your frequency. It's your job to maintain the energy. It's your job to keep a good attitude. It's your job to be someone who people want to work with. It's your job to show up in a decent mood. That's your job, to not see what's going on out there and allow that to steal your joy. Like, the analogy that we've been using lately is when you think about a woman in a pregnancy. She don't got to build the baby. She's not going around with a checklist saying, I need 100 trillion cells, I need a heart, I need 2 lungs, I need a kidney, I need a liver. I'm gonna get a little— you know, I can get them. She don't got to go out and assemble a baby. What she has to do is give the baby an environment to stay in. She got to give the baby an environment to grow in. Her— all she got to do is stay pregnant. If she just stay pregnant, the baby is going to build itself. Your job is to get rich in here and in here. Your job is to get rich and just remain rich even though the bank account hasn't caught up yet. Stay rich. Get rich even though they on the news talking about tariffs and recessions and the housing market is as bad as it's ever— stay rich. Spend 6 months being rich, watch what happened to that bank account. You right, if you be rich for 3 minutes, that's not, that's not gonna, that's not gonna change much. If you be rich for 1 day but the other— spend the other 7 days, the other 6 days of the week not rich, Where energy goes, attention flows. Your job is to stay rich. And from that place of being rich, you can hear about— like, I hear about recessions on the news, man. Recession my ass. I'm rich. Why would I stop being rich to go to a recession? You gotta understand that what's going on out there is an invitation. It's a suggestion. Like, a recession is like a kickback. AJ, I'm having some people over at the house. Pull up around 7. Who all gonna be there? Yeah, I'mma pass this time, man. Love you, but yeah, I'mma pass on this one. Stop going to everything you get invited to. You don't got to go to a recession. You don't got to go to an oversaturated market. You don't got to tie into their belief system. You got to start looking at failure. You got to stop looking at all this stuff as the news said this going on. I guess I'm getting COVID. No, my immune system A1. My girl said, why you don't never get sick? Because my immune system know better. Why would I stop building this business? Why would I stop working with professional athletes? Why would I stop doing what I'm doing to go sit on my couch? And my immune system know, know better. My immune system is A1. I got Osmosis Jones in here kicking ass. My white blood cell count is exactly where it needs to be, and it's non-negotiable. You're not gonna talk me Out of it. Stop letting people talk you out of what you decided. Make a decision and sit with it. I'm rich. I don't care if my bank account going to negative right now. I'm rich and ain't a damn thing Chase can do about it. Ain't a damn thing USAA can do about it. I'm rich, and because I'm rich, I'mma be more likely to read certain books. Because I'm rich, I'mma be more likely to read certain podcasts. Because I'm rich, I'mma be in Starbucks and overhear some people talking about, "Hey man, I'm finna get ready to sell off these stocks. I just got a feeling." And such and such. I'm like, "Hey, they got." look like he know what he talking about. I'm gonna listen to him. Now, if I'm broke, I'm gonna go, of course he— of course he got money. Wall Street guys, they got all the money. That's why I don't got no money. You gotta understand, you listen from your mindset. You hear stuff from your mindset. It's somebody probably in here broke right now and they hearing this and going, well, it's easy for you to say. That's easy for you to— you gotta stop. You can't even— I know so many people who've read Think and Grow Rich and still broke. Ain't nothing wrong with it, but you gotta— the book, it's not about the book, it's about the mindset that you read the book in. They talk about in that book that secret that you're gonna discover when you discover it. Let me ruin it for you. The secret is not in the book. The secret is in you. I wish Napoleon would have spread— would have spelled it out, because I know people to this day that's still looking for the secret in the book. The secret is not in the book. The secret is in you. Affirmations won't save you. Vision boards won't save you. The 369 method won't save you. None of those manifestation journals, none of those Tools will save you. Now don't misquote me, I'm not saying you can't use those tools en route to what you want, but you gotta stop looking at the tool as the savior. You are, are the, the magic that's missing. You, your consciousness, your focus is what does the work. The affirmation is a vehicle. That, that's what it is. Not the destination, it's a vehicle. You can use it, but if you taking all of your faith out of you and putting your faith in the affirmation and expecting the affirmation to do something magical outside of you, that's why you constantly looking for a new guru, you constantly looking for a new shortcut, you constantly looking for a new cheat code. It's not— the only thing that's saving you is already here. Repeat after me: If I can think it, I can do it. I don't got to recite it 100 times a day. I can, but I don't got to. Because like a lot of people doing their affirmations from a state of not having. So what's going on is I don't got money. Let me do these affirmations so I can get this money that I don't got. So even as you doing the affirmation, you in a state of not having, and you're doing the affirmation to try to rescue yourself from this state of not having. The only thing that's going to rescue you from a state of not having is a decision that I have. To need is to energetically omit— emit that I don't have. I do have. I'm rich. I'm resourceful. I keep saying when I work with athletes, I tell them, hey, if you wait on the trophy to become a champion, these sessions not gonna save you. You can have the coldest hypnotist in the world— I am he— but I'm not gonna save you if you can't maintain a decision That I am rich. Every time you come into my office, every time you jump on a Zoom call with me, you're gonna leave my office or leave that Zoom call feeling rich, feeling resourceful, feeling like you can take the world on. But if you turn on the news and just like that the feeling is gone, you gotta wait till you see me next week to get the feeling. If you get on your timeline and see something and just like that, that something takes the feeling, you're gonna spend 6 days without the feeling until you see me. No, you're gonna— I'm gonna help you build the feeling. I'm gonna give you anchors. I'm gonna give you all types of resources to continue to create that feeling. Your job is every time fear, every time in doubt, every time anxiety tries to creep in, you consciously go back to that feeling. I call it calibrating. You, ah ah ah ah ah! The same way you stand your ground physically, you learn to start standing your ground emotionally and spiritually. The same way if somebody said you ugly, you gonna say you married. You ugly. You like I'm not you. The same way you set boundaries in the physical, you got to start setting those same types of boundaries spiritually and emotionally. Get in the habit of, before your feet hit the ground, deciding the energy you're going to take into the day. As soon as I wake up, as soon as I realize I'm awake, I say, okay, let's see, I got 3 consultations today, I got 2 recurring clients, I'm bringing on 1 new client today, I'm taking unshakable confidence into my day. I'm taking humor, I'm taking charisma into my day. I'm not asking. I treat my nervousness— one, one time not too long ago, I heard my son say something to his mom, and it's, who you— hey, come here, who, who you think you're talking to? You don't, you don't talk to her like that, are we clear? And if he would say anything besides yes sir, he would have had a, he would have had a problem. You got to learn how to be that same way. with your emotional state. Hey, I demand confidence out of you. Not let me see how— I demand confidence out of you. We got— today is a big day. We got a lot riding on today, and we're gonna walk into the day shoulders back, chest out, chin up. I am confident. Not let me see, can I— I am confident. Neville Goddard said assume the feeling, not see if you can use affirmations to create it, not stare at the vision board and hope that it comes up. Assume the abundance. Make the assumption. Put on your abundance sunglasses. The thing about sunglasses, when I put on sunglasses, these got like a little greenish-black tint to it. If I put on these sunglasses, everything I look at now has a greenish-black tint to it. If these were red, when I put these on, everything I look at is going to have a red tint to it. So from bed, what I want you doing is I want you putting on your abundant sunglasses. So you could be looking at a lackful situation, but because you got on abundant— because you got on abundant sunglasses, you're gonna see the abundance even where other people see lack. Stop letting the news, stop letting your timeline decide what type of sunglasses you put on. Hey y'all, today we wearing the right— today we wearing the Ray-Bans with the poverty lens. Okay, got it. Eggs too high, gas too high. I don't know how anybody's supposed to make No, say nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. I'm wearing the Ray-Bans with the prosperity lens. I'm wearing the Ray-Bans with the immune system. This A1. I'm wearing the unstop. Stop letting them pick your shades. You, as you wake up, before you check your weather, before you check your phone, your bank account, before you see what type of mood your spouse in, before you see how your kids acting today, I got the patience of Job. I'm unshakable. I'm him. I am him in the— I, I'm made in the image of a creative God. I am a creator. I create my circumstances. Appreciate you. I create my circumstances. When I first started saying I coach bosses, the bosses were not on the calendar. But when I declare I coach bosses, I coach bosses, icoachbosses.com, that's me. Let me get that domain. I coach bosses merch, let me go hit that. That's I coach bosses. When I made that statement, when I stood in that Guess what starts showing up on my calendar? Bosses. I got a literal astronaut on my, on my schedule. I got brain surgeons on my schedule. I got professional athletes on my schedule. But before that happened, I made a decision that I coach bosses. What I'm doing over here is bigger than quit smoking. It's bigger than weight loss. It's bigger than nail biting. I know how to do all of that stuff. I want to work with entrepreneurs. I'll help you quit smoking, but that's not what I started this work to do. If you got my money, yeah, sure, I'll help you quit smoking. But I started this work because I wanted to hypnotize Entrepreneurs. I started this work because I wanted to hypnotize executives. When did you pursue your call? I started— I fell in love with hypnosis when I was 14. Am I a real hypnotist? I think so. I, I, I think so. I think so, man. But I started— I got it. I fell in love with hypnosis when I was 14. I think so. Your thoughts are not you, okay? Your thoughts are your employees. Put them to work. Put those thoughts to work. Start thinking on purpose. Does my free hypnosis work? Yeah, all the stuff on that YouTube channel works. Now the difference between like the hypnosis that I put on like YouTube and those videos is they are made for the masses. So some people are auditory, some people are visual, some people are kinesthetic. When I do videos for the masses, I keep the language pretty neutral. Like, if I'm working with you and I know for a fact you're visual, I'll say close your eyes, visualize XYZ. But when I'm pushing out something for the masses, I'm not gonna say imagine, I'm not gonna say hear this, I'm not gonna say feel this. I'm I'm gonna say imagine this. I'm gonna use really open-ended language so that you can keep it within your system versus if I'm hypnotizing you one-on-one. Let's say I go downtown and I decide I'm gonna do entertainment hypnosis and somebody walk up to me and they say, bro, I don't feel like that shit gonna work on me. As a hypnotist, my ears perk up. They didn't say I don't see that working on me. They just say I don't think that will work on me. They didn't say that don't sound like it'll work on me. They say I don't feel like that'll work on me. So instantly, right off the bat, I know I'm dealing with a kinesthetic person, so I'm gonna take a kinesthetic approach. And I can see their eye movement, I can see how they process information, I can tell right away do they respond to direct suggestion or indirect suggestions. So that's going to be the difference between me working with you directly. I can make something that if I figure out how you build reality, it becomes really easy to help you restructure reality. But when I'm putting videos out like on YouTube, they work But something that I made specifically for you, where I'm calling you by name, where I'm saying, Jam, listen to my voice. Earlier we talked about you having a desire to allow abundance to flow. In a moment, not right now, but in a moment, I'm gonna tell you to take a real deep breath. And when I do, I want you to instantly start to think about the biggest block in your life that's been stopping you from making that money, that stuff that we talked about happening in your childhood. As you exhale, you're gonna release that. 1, 2, 3, go. So if I've talked to you And I got like your narrative, your story, your blocks, that hypnosis is going to have a whole new— it's going to go deeper because it's in your language. It's made for your systems. But the stuff that I make, that I put on YouTube, I don't hold back. I give it 150%. I give it my best effort. But that's the difference versus if you like were to sit down and work with me one-on-one. It's made specifically for you, not made for Thousands of people to listen to over the next several months. It's made specifically for you, and it's like a suit. You can go to the— you can go to JCPenney and get a suit, it'll be okay. But if you go get a tailored suit, you know, it's gonna be made for you. It's gonna be made for your shoulders, for your chest. So that's the difference. And that's, that's everybody, Jam. You just fortunate enough to see it. You need me? So the need is to not have. You don't need me because I'm right here. You got me. Click the link. Let's get— let's get you what you need. Your only limit in life is your own imagination. You gotta understand, if you can think it, you can do it. But if you can feel it, you'll do it on accident. You gotta understand that your feelings become your I Am. When you feel sleepy, you say, I'm sleepy. When you feel annoyed, you say, I'm annoyed. When you feel stressed, you say, I'm stressed. The same thing happens when you feel confident. Like, Jay, how do I become confident? You got to learn how to feel confident. When you feel confident, guess what you're gonna accidentally do? Be confident. Jay, how do I become a successful entrepreneur? Step one— not saying there's not other stuff to do, but step one is becoming a successful entrepreneur. I not— and see, to will be is to not be. I am successful beyond belief. Because you don't even got access to the thoughts that you need to get there from a place of will be. You gotta— so the subconscious mind, it only identifies right here, right now. Let's say that I wanted to step my game up as a father. I've been thinking like, hey Jay, your kids deserve more of you, man. You, you've been dropping the ball. And I say tomorrow I'm stepping it up. So today is Saturday, but the thing about the subconscious mind, when I wake up on Sunday— when I wake up on Sunday, tomorrow is now Monday. So what happened is I go through my day and go, man, I still didn't really step up. I got to do better tomorrow. When I wake up tomorrow, tomorrow is now Monday. You never catch up to tomorrow. So I can't be a better dad tomorrow. I'm, man, right here, right now, I'm making this— I'm a great dad. I'm a great dad. I find opportunities to make time for my kids. I find opportunities to go the extra mile for my kid. My kids know by the way I listen to them, by the way I look at them, by the way I give them my undivided attention. My kids are lucky to have a great father. And I sit in that identity now, and I create the evidence from within that identity. Most people wait on the evidence to give them permission. Like, they feel like they gotta earn the title before they can step in the title. The quickest way to earn the title is to just go sit in the identity. When I was moving into my new office 6 months ago, 7 months ago, I don't know how long we've been in the new office, I broke my degree. Like, it was in a frame and I ran out of nails, so I put it up with like a Command strip. And I walked in my office the next day, it was shattered on the floor. Did I become decertified because my degree was shattered? No, because the degree doesn't certify me. The degree represents I'm certified. When I first got the degree, it took them like 3 months to get the degree to me. I didn't even— I didn't have the degree, but I was certified absence of the degree, because the degree isn't what certifies me, it's what represents that I am certified. I was certified, then I got the degree. I didn't get the degree and then become certified. But it's the same way with money. I get rich and then the money shows up. The money doesn't come and then I become rich. What happens is I become rich, and when I become rich, I'll accidentally start handling the little that I have like a rich person. I accidentally start managing my time like a rich person. What you think will happen if I spent a year Managing my time like a rich person, managing my finances like a rich person, managing my savings like a rich per— what you think?

Entire year being rich, the bank account gonna catch up. Now if I spend a day being rich and 364 days being not rich, my bank account gonna reflect that. If I spend a week being rich but spend the other 51 weeks not being rich, okay, Jay, I tried that, my— and it didn't work. Stop trying shit, do it. Imagine if you pay me for a session and I try to show up. I tried that, my— and it didn't work. Stop trying shit. Do it. Imagine if you pay me for a session and I try to show up, but I try to show up. You didn't try to pay me, but I tried to show up. You gonna have a problem with it. Imagine I supposed to be in a session with you right now and you get on TikTok and I'm, I'm live and you in the chat say, hey Jay, we session? I said, oh yeah, man, I tried, but, um, I remembered I had to go live. You gonna be like, what, what you, what you mean you, you tried? Then eventually you're gonna say, well, just give me my money back. And then imagine I say, hey bro, I'm gonna try to give you your money back. Like, what you mean you're gonna try to, bro? Give me my money back. What you mean? Go on your phone, go on your laptop, log into Stripe, whatever, PayPal, whatever you use, and give me my money back. You're not gonna try to get your money back. You gonna get your money back. Okay, how do you distinguish your calling between hypnosis and motivational speaker? I don't lean into it. My goal is to remind people all over the world they could be doing have any fucking thing they desire. Like it's it's a piece of content I got. I'll pray with you. I'll manifest with you. I'll hypnotize you. I don't care what we call.

it.

I'll help you set goals. I'll be your life coach. I'll be your hypno— I don't care what we call it. All, all we got to do is change the way you think and feel, and we'll get there. If you want, if you want to call it Reiki, cool. If you want to call it therapy, cool. I don't care about the, the avenue. What I want to do is re— help people rewire. I want to help people remember who they are. Like, I don't want to teach you anything because everything we're talking about, you already know this. The reason that feeling that you feel, that's the feeling of remembering. It feels good to remember. You ever been trying to remember somebody name and it's like it's on the tip of your tongue? You can see their face, you can hear their voice, but you cannot call that person name. Then later that day you doing something else completely and then you remember, you'd be like, Jennifer! That's a— you get that burst of excitement when you remember. That's that burst of excitement that you feeling here. That's you remembering Who you are? Oh, you gotta understand. A baby is only born with two fears. A baby is born with two fears. Anything outside of those two fears is learned behavior. If you can learn it, you can unlearn. A baby is born with a fear of falling and a fear of loud noises. That's the only two ways to push a baby into fight or flight externally. Fear of falling and a fear of loud noises. You can put a baby on a stage in front of ten thousand. The baby not gonna get nervous. You can tell the baby that only 5 people showed up to his live, the baby gonna say— you can tell them, talk to the baby about COVID recessions, the price of eggs, politics. The baby hasn't learned to fear this stuff. How do you get people to open their heart to receive your message and take action? I'm a hypnotist. I'm good at it. So I, I'll tell you a little bit about my— how I approach hypnosis. I'm a firm believer that everybody is already in a trance. For some people, that trance is a religion. For some people, that trance is science. For some people, that trance is realism. My approach is I'm gonna figure out what trance you already in, and I'm gonna join you there. If you already in a trance and you— and the Bible is a book that your nervous system respects, and your nervous system bends with, let's use scripture. If the Quran is a better fit for you, let's use that. If you're an atheist, let's talk science. Let's talk about what the amygdala doing. Let's talk about what the frontal lobe is doing. Let's talk about that reptilian brain and how to shut it off. If you into the mystical and the woo-woo, let's talk manifestation. Let's talk about the 3 planes of existence. I don't got to put you in a trance. You already in a trance. I'm gonna join you in the trance that you already in, and I'm gonna use subtle reframes and start to make suggestions. And I'm gonna build report, mirror you back to you, and put you in a box where you start to go useful or not useful, not useful, stop, useful or not useful. And I'm gonna just slowly start to alter it. Like, most people try to push change way too fast.

I ain't gonna hurt—

my first session is a 2 We got time. We got time. We can talk about football, we can talk about boxing, we can talk about the dating world and how it's— we got time. But through that conversation, I'm gonna start knocking the legs from under that table of I can't do it. Like, if you came in to quit smoking, I'm gonna say, hey, what's the longest you can go without a cigarette, man? You might say, Jay, I can't go longer than 45 minutes without a cigarette. Cool. Okay, later on in that conversation, I'll be like, so you travel a lot for work? You'll be like, y'all, man, I'm constantly traveling for work. I'm like, so I like to fly on Delta. What airline are you flying on that you able to smoke a cigarette every 45 minutes, man? It was, oh man, when I'm, when I'm, when I'm traveling, I can't. It's just out of mind, out of sight. I don't even think about it. Huh, interesting. I'm not even gonna say out loud, so you can go 45 minutes. Your nervous system went, wait a minute, that's a lie. I can't go 45 minutes without nervous Cool. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. Oh, then later on they come say, I'm gonna say, man, how many how many hours do you sleep a night? Ah, I get seven, eight, sometimes even nine hours of sleep. Oh, interesting. You ever wake up at night to smoke? Now, if I wake up to go to the bathroom, I might smoke. But no, I don't never wake up just to smoke. Interesting. Your nervous system going, wait a minute. I can go nine hours without smoking. When I'm flying, I can go an entire day without smoke. That That's what it is. Like, good therapy, good change work, a lot of it is making the unconscious conscious. It's 3 things that you're constantly doing to prove yourself right. You're constantly generalizing, distorting, and deleting. Like, if you got a belief that all women are gold diggers, what's going on? Yo, one of your friends might say, bro, what about Pam? Pam not a gold digger. Pam make more money than you. You, oh, Pam like a sister. That's a distortion. Pam is not your sister. Pam don't got the same names on her birth certificate. That's, that's a distortion. What about Kimberly, man? Kimberly, you ain't even got a logical reason. You just gonna delete Kimberly because she doesn't fit your narrative. You're constantly generalizing, distorting, and deleting. What's up, Raelle? And those generalizations, distortions, and deletions, they keep you broke. They keep you stuck. They keep you small. But if we get new generalizations, distortions, and deletions, those same generalizations, that same process to keep you rich— it's some people who gonna thrive in any economy, it's some people who gonna thrive in any environment you put them in. But the same way generalizations, distortions, and deletions keep you— can keep you broke, they can also keep you rich, keep you successful. Like, I got generalizations, distortions, and deletions that serve where I'm headed. I legitimately feel bad for people who don't book with me.

Like, damn, bro, they gotta go work with the second best, third best, fourth— damn.

It's not like, oh man, I wasn't good enough. Like, my generalizations, distortions, and deletions go, oh damn, maybe they couldn't afford it, maybe they not ready yet, maybe they know it's gonna work this time. My— that's the way my generalizations, distortions, and deletions work. Uh, everything on— if you go on the YouTube channel, we put a lot of these replays on there It's a lot of rants on there. I started a podcast and I might— like, the reason I got— one of the reasons I got into entrepreneurship is because I want to do what I do, what I want to do, when I want to do it. So like, a weekly podcast don't really fit that mold. A scheduled podcast don't really fit that mold. So we, we, we settle for live streaming. Like, I didn't thought about starting a podcast. The freedom is what drew me To entrepreneurship. And the way that I like think about a podcast, it, it strips that away. So I tell people, turn the notifications on so you can catch it. When you go live? When I feel like it, when I want to. That's what excites me about entrepreneurship. We got any questions, comments, concerns? Your only limit in life is your own imagination. If you don't take nothing else out of the live, I want you to take that. And let me see where my people at. What's this, man? I've been an entrepreneur my whole life, bro. I, I used to sell CDs in elementary. I used to load up iPods and MP3 players. Oak Tree, there we go. Oak Tree. Quani know what's up. So guys, my new people, Let's, let's bring, let's bring y'all on game. This is an oak tree. This is an oak tree. If you want to become the type of person that can manifest on a dime, if you want to become the type of person that's amazing at purposely turning your thoughts into things, it will behoove you to become the type of person to see oak trees where other people see acorns, to see apple trees where other people see apple seeds. They see full-blown businesses where other people see, man, that's a good idea, too bad the economy. Nah, this, this is an oak tree. I want you to understand, like, think about this. The only difference between this and an oak tree is time spent in the proper environment. If this stay in the cup holder of my car, it'll never reach its potential. But if I put this in the proper environment It has no choice. I don't got to do eight billion affirmations for it to become an oak tree. I don't got to pray as hard as I can for it to become an oak tree. I don't got to write it down one hundred times a day. I don't got to stare at the vision board. If I put this in the proper environment, it has to become an oak tree. Desire is a seed. Every idea that you have is a seed. Now, if you put that seed, if you put that desire in the proper environment, the idea for the business is the business. The desire for the money is the money. I see so many people holding acorns and wishing for an oak tree. Man, I wish I had an oak tree. Man, I wish I had an oak tree. I'm gonna learn hypnosis I'm gonna learn how to do lashes like Jay so I can— so I can give me an oak tree. Oh, she doing lashes? I'm gonna learn how to do lashes like her so I can give me an oak tree. Damn, she got 10 oak trees. The only reason she got it is because her daddy gave it to her. If I had a rich dad, I have an oak tree too. I don't even know my dad. If you don't quit counting other people's oak trees and go plant your damn oak tree, I'ma slap you. Now physically you saying you ain't gonna slap me? I want you to learn how to do that same things spiritually and emotionally. If you won't let me slap you in the physical and get away with it, don't let me slap you in the, in the, in this, in the emotional realm and get away with it. The same way you stand your ground in the physical, I want you to start standing your ground emotionally and spiritually. If you having a good day and I call you out of your name, keep having a good day. Even if you cuss me out, get back to having your good day when you get done cussing me out. I'm not saying you gotta just let people roll all over you, but to a degree, hypnosis is about focus. If you give me your focus, you can't stop me from hypnotizing you. But that's not just me as a hypnotist, that's anybody. If you give me your focus, you giving me your most valuable asset. Your focus is more valuable than your money. Your focus is more valuable than your clothes. Your focus, your focus is more valuable than anything that you own because focus has the power of being turned into other things. So I want you to start using your attention on purpose. I'm facing challenges being on FA but not getting clients. How do I deal with real things amidst focus? So you gotta understand Understand that whatever is going on out there, it had to be in here first. It wouldn't be— if you can't hold it in your head, you can't hold it in your hands. So reality has programmed you to make, to make you think you got to wrestle that thing to the ground and then build this other thing. What you got to do is not wrestle that thing to the ground, you got to starve that thing You got to stop giving your focus. You got to stop giving your attention to it, because when you focus on those challenges, what's gonna happen is— Is hypnosis a sin? I don't think so. I think that Jesus is one of the greatest hypnotists to ever live. Like, understanding what hypnosis is, when I read about Jesus doing miracles, it was nothing more than the power of suggestion at work. In fact, Jesus couldn't even do miracles where he was raised. amazed because they was like, oh, that's Joseph, that's the carpenter's son. They didn't— it wasn't Jesus' ability that wasn't working, it was their belief in Jesus that hindered the miracles from happening. It's, it's the power of suggestion. It's the power of knowing that the— your nervous system has no choice but to follow your focus. Your autoimmune system has no choice but to follow your focus. But let me get back to your— the question we were talking about before that. That was a That's a good question. So it had caught me off guard. But no, it's, it's not a sin, not from my point of view. And to send this to Mr.— we gotta have another live and really get into that because that's gonna— I'm gonna end up on here for another 2 hours if we open that up. But you got to get out of this mindset of not getting clients because you can go learn all the techniques that you, that you want. You can learn about funnels, you can learn about following up, you can get a new CRM and set up all these automations and use AI. But if you are doing that, all of that stuff from a place of I'm doing this because I don't get enough clients, it's all it's going to do is add to the momentum of not getting enough clients. So before you learn any more processes, before you make any more changes to your website, before you go hire a new copywriter, before you get in ChatGPT and get all of this new stuff, before you start making content and going We got to take care of— we got to install a belief. I got more clients than I can handle. You better hope it's wrong for you on this schedule. I work with the best of the best. I'm in high demand. Now from that belief, you go write new copy. From that belief, you install new pricing. A lot of new entrepreneurs don't understand that your price is a part of your brand. If you're an entrepreneur, say that. Say my price is a part of my brand? If I'm, if I'm the cheapest, how the hell am I the best? And if I'm the best, how the hell am I the cheapest? Think, imagine I tell you that I'm the best hypnotist in the world. I'm the, I'm, I'm the best hypnotist in the world. Quit smoking, gone. Anxiety, gone. PTSD, gone. I can take care of all of that right now. It's only $7. You know, hold on, one of these things not true. Like, in— you want— like, in inside of you, someone go, wait, you don't want to— man, all right, that sounds good. Your price is a part of your brand. But when you setting your price from a place of I don't have clients, there's not enough clients, it's gonna be a contradiction. Number one, so-and-so Cheapest in the city, huh? No, but we got to take care of that belief that you don't got enough clients. I got more clients than I can handle. They on the way. It's people who have seen my content that have already mentally hired me. They they for whatever reason they haven't filled out the form yet. They ain't them. But it's people out there that I don't even know exist that have already hired me. I'm in high demand. I'm in high demand. Demand. And as you sit in that place of I'm in high demand, you're gonna accidentally start reading books that a high-demand person would read. You'll buy— you're gonna accidentally take on the body language of a person who's in high demand. You're gonna accidentally start to communicate like a person who's in high demand. You're gonna accidentally start managing your schedule like a person who's— hey man, we're going to play golf. Not today, man, I'm busy. Busy doing what? Being in high demand. Hey bro, you free today? Nah bro, I'm expensive every I ain't been free since like '92. I'm, I'm expensive every day. All right, that makes sense. Do I teach people how to get out of the 9 to 5? That's— so that's the thing. I can't teach you how to get out of something. I can teach you how to get into something. And I know it feels like it don't matter, and I'm not even like trying to just put you on Front Street, but I want to use this this as a teaching moment. If it's your goal to get out of the 9 to 5, that's like being in a taxi and the driver say, where you want to go? You say, I don't want to go to the mall. I hate the mall. It's too many people. Why? And it's walking around with masks on. I don't like it, man. It's expensive, bro. Last time I went to the mall, can you believe they wanted $300 for one pair of shoes? Okay, where do you want to go? Where do you want to go? So the goal is, is Like, to get out of the 9 to 5, what do you want? What do you want? And as you— as I teach you how to focus, as I teach you how to latch on to it, as I teach you how to lock on to what you want, you will accidentally find yourself out of the 9 to 5. I didn't purposely get out of the military. I had the intention of knowing one day I wanted to get out. I knew I wasn't re-enlisting. I knew that it was coming to an end, but it wasn't like a Step 1, step 2, step 3. What happened is I became an entrepreneur. I became an entrepreneur. So because I became an entrepreneur— entrepreneurs are not good soldiers, entrepreneurs are not good airmen. One day my commander, my section commander, requested me to the office. Not my first sergeant, not my shop lead. My commander called me down. He said, um, Sergeant Shaw, you don't want to be here, do you?

No.

And I thought, I'm like, is this a trick question? He said, answer the question. You don't want to be here, do you? I said, respectfully, no, sir. He said, sign this, sign this. I was civilian 2 months later. I was civilian 2 months later with all of my benefits intact. I kept keeping my GI Bill, all, all, all of my stuff. I was a civilian 2 months later because what happened is I I became entrepreneur, so I gave off this energy without even opening my mouth of I'm a leader. You don't tell me what to do.

I tell you what to do.

I can't they I can't send him on a deployment because he's so caught up in what he has going on here. What you mean you you going to do a speaking engagement this weekend? They gonna pay you eight thousand dollars to go stand on the stage for forty-five minutes, bro. He's not a so he's not a So he's a— I don't know what he is, but he's way more focused on that than what's going on here. And other people are picking up on it, and he's doing entrepreneur workshops and stuff on base, and he's teaching other people to get them out of here. Get them, get them out of here. Yo, so your job is not to get out of the 9 to 5, cuz the focus is still on the 9 to 5. And one of the tricky things about the subconscious mind is you can't tell it what not to do. You got to tell it what to do. Like, watch this. If I say, hey, hey, Young God, don't think about a pink elephant. I'm serious, do not think about a pink elephant. Young God, stop thinking about that pink— every time I say pink elephant, you're nervous and say, I know what that is. Oh, don't think about— now you wrestling with the pink elephant and you trying to push it out of your mind, but the harder you push, the harder it pushes back. The way that you stop thinking about a pink elephant You get busy thinking about a blue tiger, you get busy thinking about an orange frog. So you don't get out of the 9 to 5 by trying to get out of the 9 to 5. You get so hyper-focused on, I want to build this, um, I want to build this, and when I get it— like, I love the way my daughter asks for things. My daughter would come in, she'll say, Daddy, I just saw this dollhouse on TV, and when I get it, I'm gonna put it right beside my other dollhouse, Daddy. I'm gonna put it right beside my other dollhouse, and my other 5 Barbies, they gonna stay in the old dollhouse, but my other 7 Barbies, they gonna stay in the new one. Daddy, it's huge! It has a garage, it has a pool. And I'm like, bet. What is— where does the dollhouse at, baby? Big creator is watching his little creator create. I, I want to help. I want to help. I'm watching my little creator create. She excited. She already know where she gonna put it. Apparently my baby got some home Some homeless Barbies? Not on my watch. We're gonna go get my baby this dollhouse. Now imagine if that same little girl walked up to that same dad and went, Dad, my old dollhouse is stupid. It's not big enough. It's old. I need a new one. Now she sounds like an ungrateful little brat, and now she finna get a lecture. She finna get a talk about how there's little girls who don't even have dollhouses. She, she needs to appreciate the dollhouse she got. Only difference is her state. When the first time she was in a state of having, the second time she was in a state of not having. When she's in a state of having, I cannot say no to that little girl. When she's in a state of not having, I cannot say yes to that little girl. So people go, you spoil her, you give her whatever she want. It's not so much that I spoil her. She, she, she's in a state of having most of the time. She, she's in a state of having. Most of the— would it be easy for me to be in a state of having if my dad was— as true as that may be, if you want to get the results, I suggest you stop practicing whatever that sad-ass story is you're about to tell and start practicing your state of having. Just because you think it doesn't mean it's true, and just because it's true doesn't mean that you have to think it. Stop letting your thoughts bully you. That's be— that'd be the crazy part. You right in the story. Your dad shouldn't have did that. They shouldn't have said that to you. They shouldn't have treated you that way. They shouldn't have made you feel like that. As true as that is, the only way out is to master your state of having. You can keep practicing this state of not having, and the— and life is going to keep reflecting that to you. And you got some coaches who will let you come in their office. You got some The therapist will bring you in the office week after week. Okay, and how did that make you feel? Okay, and tell, tell me more about that. How did that make you feel? Okay, see you next week. And how did that make you feel? Not giving you no tools, not pushing no boundaries, not forcing you to take on more, not forcing you to stretch in no way. Just coddling you, charging you, and hugging you. See you next week. Okay, cool. As true as that might be, how do you want to feel? Well, Jay, you got to understand, look, We'll come back to it. I'm lying, we're not coming back to it. We'll come back to that. If I had a magic wand and I can wave in it, how would you feel? And if you just can get them focused on how they feel, they accidentally start changing their body language, they accidentally start sneaking for more. And while I got them focused on this new feeling, I'll sneak in there and hypnotically pull out whatever that old pattern is. And let me tell you something, change doesn't have to be hard. Change doesn't have to be uncomfortable. Change doesn't have to be painful. Change don't got to be slow. Now, it can be, especially if that's the narrative that you're giving yourself. Okay, the only truths are the truths that you accept subconsciously. The only truths are the truths that you accept Uh, Coy, it's a wide range. We got like recordings that I can make for you as cheap as $145 all the way up to like 6-month-long programs that cost $20,000. So anywhere between $140 all the way up to about $20,000. It just depends on how hands-on you want me to be. If you, um, do a consultation, we can talk about your exact needs, budget, and commitment to the process and figure out where you fall on that scale. Your only limit is your own imagination. If you can think it, you can do it. You're welcome. If you can't think it, you can't do it. I got some good news and I got some bad news. I'm gonna give you the good— I'm gonna give you the bad news first. Nobody is coming to save you. No process is gonna save you. Nothing is gonna fix you. Now I'm gonna give you the good news. You're not broken. You don't need saving. It's a matter of remembering who you are. It's a matter of remembering who you are and sitting in that memory while reality catches up. You gotta understand that it's always a delay between the decision and reality catching up. That, that physical world is always the last to catch up. Spiritual and emotional That can— it can happen in an instant, but the physical world always takes time to catch up to what's already happened spiritually and emotionally. But the crazy part about it is if you get it spiritually and emotionally, you're already 2/3 of the way and you just waiting on that last third to catch up. Claim your abundance, claim your new body, claim your new house, your new car, whatever it is. I don't care what you want, whatever it is, claim it spiritually and emotionally. And don't let the last one-third bully the other two-thirds. If you sit with those other two-thirds, that last third has no choice but to come up, unless you put down the other two-thirds because the last third isn't happening fast enough. You already two-thirds in the way there. If you've been sitting in this live listening, if you've been sitting in this live listening and taking this stuff in and allowing it into your And allowing it into your nervous system, you already two-thirds of the way there. Your job is to be able to see what they talking about on the news and keep that two-thirds activated. Your job is to be able to return to that job on Monday that you don't really like and still choose to keep that two-thirds activated.

And even if—

because you are human, it will be times where the old you sneak in and you put that two-thirds down— always get back, always find your way back to that two-thirds. Don't think just because you fell off for a day that, oh man, it's— No, get back to the 2/3. Choose it again. Get back on the horse. And it's your ability to get back on the horse. Pay attention to what I'm saying. It's not your ability to never mess up that's going to make it show. It's your ability to get back on the horse. If you get— if you mess up a million times, get back on a million and one times. If you mess up 10 times a day, re-decide, reaffirm 11 times today. The— your nervous system is a pattern learning machine. If you keep choosing that pattern, eventually your nervous system will start choosing that pattern for you. That's what I call confidence. Confidence is when your nervous system maintains the body language for you. Confidence is when your nervous system maintains the quality of your voice for One time me and my girl was at a talk that a friend of mine was putting on. It was a full-day event, motivational stuff, this type of stuff. I'm sitting in the crowd chilling with my girl. I get a tap on the shoulder. AJ, you think you can go up and do 20 minutes? I say, 20 minutes, man? It take me 20 minutes to— take me 20 minutes to take off. Like, I can't do nothing for 20 minutes. Can y'all give me 45? Dude walked off, came back. He said, AJ, we gonna put you last. Take as long as you want. My girl said, you just gonna be able to— you ain't got no notes, you ain't got no slide, you just gonna be able to go. My nervous system do this for me. I've chosen this so many times, I can wake up out of my sleep 3 AM and, and do this. My nerve— I don't gotta consciously do it anymore. It was a time where it took focus and it took affirming over and over and over and over. I did it so many times in my nervous system, so I said, hey, the fear trying to come Fire that anchor. Anxiety trying to kick it, fire that anchor. Like, my nervous system is, is on it. You can build that momentum. You're not gonna build it in a weekend. You're not gonna build it in one setting. You're not gonna build it in one live.

But boy, can you start it.

Boy, can you start it. And when you realize you fell off, you don't got to get mad at yourself. You don't gotta lecture yourself. You don't gotta punish yourself. I know your parents, they were well-meaning. But a lot of times they taught you that the only way you can allow a lesson to seek in is through punishment. You are an adult with a fully functioning frontal lobe. You are an adult with a fully functioning frontal lobe. You can look and say, "Oh man, I dropped the ball. Next time I'm gonna decide better," and that can be that. You are an adult with a fully functioning frontal lobe. You can say, oh man, I said that the next time this happened between me and my wife, I wasn't gonna respond that way. I didn't. I can't wait till it happened again so I can— so I can decide better next time. You don't need a— you don't need a lecture. You don't need to punish yourself for 3 days. And oh man, I dropped the ball. Next time I'mma decide better. Then you start getting excited. Oh, I can't wait till we have another argument because I'm, I'mma choose better this Oh, she upset again. This time I'm gonna listen before I talk. This time I'm gonna think before I speak. You start getting excited for the stuff that you don't like because you said, oh, next time I'm decide better, man. I said I was gonna stay live for an hour, but I got a little discouraged because only two people showed up and they weren't really really interacting. They weren't tapping the screen. So I ended my live at seven minutes. Next time I'm decide better. Oh man, it's only two people here this time too, but I'm gonna decide better this time. And you gamify the change. You would understand, hey, nobody's expecting perfection out of you except for you. Nobody is expecting perfection out of you except for you. Your children aren't expecting perfection out of you. Your spouse isn't perfect— expecting perfection out of you. And if they are, it's only because they can't find it in theyself, so they try— never mind. But nobody's expecting perfection out of you. And if they are, that's not your business, that's they business. Tell them to book session. Nobody wants perfection out of you. Incremental improvement, yes. I tell my clients, 1% better every day, baby, every day. If I'm seeing you weekly, every time I see you, I expect you to be a little bit handsomer, a little bit wiser, a little bit smarter. I expect you to smell a little bit better, sound a little bit better, have a little bit more information, and you have a few more wins on you. Every time I see you, I expect you to be better And better and better and better and better and better and better and better. Now, on the surface, 1% might not sound like much, but imagine if you spend a year getting 1% better every day. Imagine if you spend a year getting 1% better every day. What would a 365% increase look like in your finances? Even if you in the negative, a 365% increase is in your finances. Come on. What would a 365% increase look like in your marriage? Look like in your relationship? What would a 365% increase look like in your relationship with your kids? Look like in your business? Look like in your mental health? Look like in your physical health? 1% better every day. And get you a community that's gonna help you lock in with the understanding, I'm human, I will fall off. But falling off, that's where the damn clarity at. Every time I fall off, I get that much more clarity. About what I want. A few years back, it was a guy I had helped quit smoking. He had went about 3, 4 months without smoking. He called me, Jay, I just— Jay, I ruined it, man.

I had a cigarette.

I was doing so good, Jay, wasn't even thinking about a cigarette. Like, bro, I ruined it, I ruined it, I ruined it, bro. Breathe. What happened, man? Me and my wife got into it, and I don't even remember like going and getting— next thing I knew, a cigarette was in my hand. I was So I went flip back to our session notes, and we had spent all the time talking about how he used cigarettes to manage stress at work. He never smoked at home really because his wife didn't know that he smoked. So in his session, we didn't even talk about the fact of smoking at home. We talked about his workday and gave him solutions and process how to deal with, with when that urge come up at work. It was good. But when something happened at home, the area that we didn't cover And the nervous system did what the nervous system did. It found the last pattern that worked and said, hey, do this. It was as simple as, hey, come into the office, bro. Let me spend about 10 minutes with you. And we used the data from the, the screw-up, and I explained to him, hey, last time we talked about at work, we didn't cover at home. You didn't screw up, we just didn't prepare for at home. But thanks to this screw-up, we got clarity that there's some stuff we need to tighten up. At home. Let's tighten up your strategy. Let's tighten up your neural networks around how we manage stress at home. Let's take cigarettes out of the equation and look at other avenues for managing stress at home and spread you out into the wind. I mean, spread you back out. Talk to him a month later, he hadn't smoked. I ain't talked to him in 2 or 3 years at this point, but I would imagine he's still not smoking. And he paid for one of my packages where if he ever does, it's as simple as giving me a phone call. So if he had, I would imagine I would have heard from But it wasn't a screw-up, it was more clarity. Does, does that make sense? He didn't— he— Jay, I failed.

I—

no, bro, we talked about this, this, and this. We didn't arm you for that situation, but thank God it happened. Let's equip you for that situation so next time that comes up, you got a strategy at a subconscious level. Not a strategy that you got to go consciously grab. You got a strategy at a subconscious level. A lot of times the stuff you calling screw-ups, it's just data. It's just feedback that you didn't like. In NLP, one of the— the mo— one of— not the modalities, one of the principles of NLP is there's no such thing as failure. It's just, it's just feedback. Sometimes you like the feedback, sometimes you won't. But just because you don't like the feedback don't mean that you get to throw it in this frame of— it's not failure, it's feedback. Then when you start having that understanding, every argument that comes up in your relationship— oh, I got more feedback. I'm getting to know her that much better. I'm getting to understand how she tick that much better. Now the argument ain't something you run from. Bring it on. Let's have this argument. Let's, let's discuss this. I'm getting to know you that much better, and vice versa. Stop running from— it's feedback. Take the data. What can I learn from this? What can I learn from this? Oh man, so when I'm at work, I'll be sticking to my diet. I'll be on it, man. When I get home, oh man, as soon as I start watching TV, I accidentally reach for a bag of chips. That's not failure, that's feedback. Oh, so it's only when you watching TV? Okay, let's let's start playing around with this idea. Oftentimes the answer is in the stuff that you're calling failure, and you so scared to touch it that you push it down throw it. Napoleon Hill said in Think and Grow Rich, every failure brings with it the seeds of success. Not the full-blown flower, but the seeds of success. Stop throwing out your seeds with the failure. All right, we finna land. I love y'all, ain't nothing y'all could do about it. Click that link in my bio if you want to work with me, or if you want to get to the YouTube channel and see the other videos, tap in with me. If this was useful and you want to do something for Coach J, Google reviews help me in my local community. I'm in the Dallas area, so it's real competitive. Out here, Google reviews keep me at the top of the map. Yeah, we at the top of the map, but those Google reviews is what makes that possible. So if you were fed here, I don't want you to lie, all right? But if you were fed here, if you benefited from what you heard here today and you plan to use it, if you just use it as a quick little pep talk that you gonna forget about in the next twenty minutes, don't worry about it. But if you somebody who say, "Yo, I picked up some tools today that I'm finna use to save my business." I got some tools and strategies here I'm finna use to get my marriage back on track that I'm finna use to turn my fitness around. Whatever the goal is. bills. If that's you, inbox me and say I'll write you a review, and I'm gonna send you the link to write that review. All right, I love y'all. Ain't nothing y'all could do about it. It's a non-negotiable love. You can slap me, I might slap you back, but I still gonna love you. But it's a, it's a non-negotiable love. I'll see y'all next time. Turn on those notifications so y'all won't miss it, man. And you say you found it late? I put a lot of these replays on YouTube as well, so in a day or two, this replay might be one of the ones that I put up and you can go catch it too.