Coach J teaches the 5C Success Strategy: Clarity, Calibration, Confidence, Competence, and Consistency. He argues thoughts generate feelings that shape actions, so willpower should discipline the mind, not the body. Hydration, protein, and sleep are essential for mental clarity.
Chapters
Good, what's good? How y'all doing, man? Welcome to the live, welcome to the live. Coach J in the building. I coach bosses, so if you a boss, you in the right spot. If not, keep fucking scrolling. What is up, what is up, what is up, man? As y'all get in here, I need you tapping the screen, I need you sharing the live. Let's go, let's run it up. I'm about to invite some people in. What's going on, Jerry? How you doing? Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Now we on 2 different platforms, so we got a lot of stuff going on. I'm gonna engage with everybody the best we can. What's going on, Demond? How you doing? What's going on, Pastor David? Welcome to the live. Welcome to the live. So guys, you could be doing how anything you desire. Your only limit in life is your own imagination. You think you can do it. You can't think it, you can't do it. The good news is you can think it. But you might have to use some willpower to condition yourself into thinking a new way. If you want to continue getting what you always got, then keep thinking like you always been thinking. But if you want something new, you got to start thinking something different. Now, I didn't say doing nothing different. I say you got to start thinking something different. You got to realize your thoughts give birth To your feelings, and your feelings give birth to your thoughts, and they start to work in this pattern. Your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your thoughts, your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your thoughts, and eventually they produce an action. Now what most people do is when they want something different, they try to change this. But you can't change this without changing this. You got to change your thoughts and your feelings. When you feel different and you think different, you'll act different on accident. Makes sense? When you feel different and think different, you ain't got no choice but to act different. When you're trying to do new action, when you're trying to use willpower to create a new action, but you're still thinking and feeling the same, it's not going to work. You got to change the way you feel so you can change the way you think so you can change the way you act. Think about it. When you watch a TV— when you watch a funny TV show, you ain't got to try to laugh. Just watch a TV show. As you give your attention to it, you're gonna start to think in line with the TV show. When something funny happened, you ain't got to try to laugh. You already paying attention to it, so you automatically going to laugh. You watch a scary movie, you ain't got to try to get scared. The movie is directing your thoughts and your feelings, so it's natural for your heart to beat fast. It's natural for your palms to sweat. Your body follows the mind. Where the mind goes, the body follows. So what we got to do if we're gonna be successful is we got to start sending our mind to places on purpose. We got to start thinking on purpose. You got to realize that your mind is not you. Your mind is a tool that you use. Just because you think it don't mean it's true, and just because it's true don't mean you got to think it. I'ma say it again, just because you think it don't mean it's true, and just because it's true don't mean you got to think it. The reason that it's true is because enough people have thought about it consistently. If you want something different to be true in your life, you got to start thinking about that. If your current bank balance is not the bank balance you would like to see, you got to start thinking in terms of the banking balance you would like to see. So at any moment, you got the choice to focus on the negative, the unwanted, or this— you gonna give you a neutral face— or you can focus on What you want. Now, when you focus on what you want, that's gonna give you thoughts and feelings that align with what you want. But when you think about what you don't want, let's see, that's also gonna give you thoughts and feelings. But the difference is these thoughts and feelings gonna align with what you don't want. These thoughts and feelings gonna give you dopamine. These thoughts and feelings gonna give you cortisol. Cortisol is a stress hormone, inflammatory hormone, cause you to age quicker, think slower, messes with your memory. It has no positive effects. But you got to start thinking on purpose. You got to get in the habit of telling your thoughts what to think and telling your feelings what to feel. Just because you thought it yesterday don't mean that you got to think it today. And the best time to get ahead of your thinking is in the morning, right off, before you check the weather, before you check your bank account, before you look at the scale, before you look in the mirror to see how ugly you is or how pretty you is today. Take care of your thinking. Decide what type of day you want to have. I need you to stop living like an accident. You are not an accident. What's going on? You are not an accident. You have a purpose, and I need you to start walking in your purpose on purpose. You got to get clear about what you want because you can't get what you want until you know what you want. One of the examples that I like to use is imagine if you Get inside of a taxi. That's a taxi. Imagine if you get inside of a taxi and instead of telling the driver where you want to go, you start telling the driver, don't take me to the mall, don't take me to church, don't take me to the post office, don't take me to the park. You don't ever tell the driver where you want to go. You just start giving the driver a list of places where you don't want to go. What is the driver supposed to do with that information? What is the driver supposed to do with this list of places that you don't want to go? But let's look at that compared to life. This is you, and you know that you don't like your job. You know that they don't pay you enough. You know that you don't got the relationship you want. You don't got the body you want. You're not making the amount of money that you want. What do you want? What do you desire? I know you know what you don't want, but knowing what you don't want is not going to get you what you would rather have. In order to get what you want, you got to start thinking about what you want. And I see it time and time again in sessions. I ask somebody, okay, you told me about what you don't want. I need you guys tapping the screen. We got zero taps. That's crazy. I need you guys tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. And if I got any entrepreneurs in here, If I got any entrepreneurs in here, I need y'all to drop an emoji. I got something special for my entrepreneurs that we gonna get to later in the live. But you gotta start thinking on purpose. You gotta start thinking in terms of what you want. You could be doing, have anything you desire, but you gotta start thinking about it. You gotta start thinking about what you want. What's going on? What's going on? So I want to teach you guys the 5C success strategy. Strategy that I teach entrepreneurs, the strategy that I teach professional athletes, strategy that I teach to high performers. With this strategy, you'll find yourself stumbling into success. With this strategy, you'll find yourself being successful on accident. Now we got 5 seeds, okay? We got 5 seeds. Let me scoot this over here. We got five C's. Now the first C is clarity. Clarity. You can't get what you want until you know what you want. Okay? Gotta get clear about what you want. And I'm gonna give you each other five C's, and then I'm gonna show you how most people run the five C's in the wrong direction. Need you guys tapping the screen. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. So we got clarity. The next C is calibration. After you get clear, you got to calibrate to what you desire. What's up? What's up? What's up? Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Appreciate you. So we get clarity, we calibrate. After we calibrate, the next C is confidence. Okay, confidence. The next C is competence. The last C is consistency. So let's talk about how these work. First, I'm gonna show you how not to run 5C. When I first start working with people, it's usually how people be running 5C. So usually when I meet somebody, we first start working together, they have clarity about what they don't want. I don't want this, I don't want that, I don't want that. I said, what do you— well, what would you rather have? They look at me crazy. They don't know. They never even thought to ask theyself what they'd rather have. They spend all day talking about what they don't want. They spend all day thinking about what they don't want. They get on the phone with their friend and talk about what they don't want. They got clarity, but they got clarity about what they don't want. And because that's where the clarity goes, that's what they are calibrated to. When you watch TV, if you watch a funny movie, you ain't got to try to laugh. Just watch the movie. You watch a sad movie, you ain't got to try to get sad. Just watch the movie. You want to be depressed, you want to be stuck, you want to be procrastinating, just keep thinking about what you don't want. And you ain't got to try to procrastinate, you ain't got to try to get anxious, just keep watching what you watching. But that's what most people do. And the crazy thing is, step 3 is to get really good at step— at step, um, 2. So they get really calibrated. That's what we call confidence. You're so calibrated that you no longer question it. You know it's never gonna change. That's the way it's always been. It was like that for your mom. It was like that for your aunties and them. It was like that for your grandma. It's like that for everybody. You get confident in your clarity, okay? And because you confident in your clarity, step 4 is about the doing, competence. Instead of taking action, you procrastinate. Instead of getting excited about what you want, you down. You're not moving forward. You anxious about it. The doing follows the foundation. These first three C's is what we call the foundation: clarity, calibration, and confidence. That's what we call the foundation. And then you do this consistently. So you run these four C's over and over again, and that's what we call the consistency piece. So you continue to get what you don't want year after year after year after year after year after year after year. Let's talk about how to do it on purpose. Let's talk about how to do it the right way. That's what most people do just by default. Now let's talk about how to turn this reverse. Yeah, let's hit this with a Uno reverse. So now we're gonna run this, but we're gonna run it the right way this time. Oh, we're gonna use a different marker. Can't see that one. Let's see, we'll use this one. So we're gonna get clarity about what we want. We're gonna get calibrated to the clarity. Calibrated. Calibrated to the clarity. We're gonna get confident in the calibration, then the competence is going to follow the foundation, and we're gonna do this consistently. So usually we notice something we don't like, okay? That you're not doing anything wrong by noticing what you don't like. You are a creator. You came here to create, and your inner being knows that you, you deserve some level of respect. Your inner being knows that you weren't sent here to be treated any kind of way. So when you notice something you don't like, what you got to do is notice it, but instead of getting hypnotized by it, you look at it and go, hmm, I don't like that. What would I rather have? What would I rather have? Then what you would rather have is usually the opposite of this. When you feel disrespected, you ain't got to try to want to be respected. It's natural. When you feel disrespect, you want to be respected. When you look at your bank account and you see not enough money, it's in your nature to desire more money. It's usually not that hard to figure out what you would rather have, but you got to pose the question, what would I rather have? Then when you figure out what would you rather have, that's what we call clarity. So we get clear on what we want. That's step one. That's simple, right? It ain't nothing here that that's impossible. Ain't nothing here that's hard. It's just gonna take thinking different. It's gonna take doing something you never did before so you can have something you never had before. Okay, so simple. I'mma get clear about what I want. I'm not gonna get hypnotized by what I don't want. I'm done getting on the phone talking about what I don't want. I'm done watching TikTok videos about what I don't want. I'm done joining forums and hanging out with other people who don't want the same thing that I don't want. And we, we talk, oh, you think that's bad? Well, let me tell you what happened to me. And it's like this weird little race to the bottom, like nobody wins. Why are we doing it? We're gonna start hanging out with people who want what we want. We're gonna start having conversations with people who talk about stuff that we desire. And what that's gonna do is force us to start calibrating to what we want. So then we start getting calibrated to what we want. It's just like a movie. When I calibrate to a scary movie, I don't got to try to get scared, just watch the movie. If I calibrate to an action movie, I ain't got to try to get excited, just watch the movie. If I calibrate to an erotic movie, I ain't got to try to get aroused, just watch the movie. If you calibrate to your goal, you don't got to try to get inspired, you don't got to try to get motivated, you ain't got to try to get hyped, you ain't got to try to move towards it, just watch the goal. Just calibrate to the goal. Okay. Now, when you focus on it over and over and over again, and you start putting the repetition on it, and you start talking about it and thinking about it and vision boards about it, and maybe working with a hypnotist, and you really start getting that pushed into your subconscious mind, you become confident on accident. Like, a lot of times people call me and they think they don't got confidence, when what they really don't got is clarity. You got to think about it. Confidence is literally Your belief in your ability to achieve a specific outcome. But if you don't have the specific outcome, how can you have confidence in your ability to achieve what you don't even know what it is? When you know what you don't want, you don't got anything clear to put your confidence in. So a lot of times people think they don't have confidence when you— what you gotta understand is you always confident in something. When your attention on what you don't want, you confident in what you don't want. Your confidence is in your failure. So we got to get clear about what we want so we can get calibrated to it and we can put our confidence in what we'd like to have. Everybody got confidence. Everybody got confidence. The piece that you'll be missing is, is clarity. And you're looking for a certain breathing technique to do. You're looking for a certain technique to do. A technique not gonna give you clarity. Breathing a certain way is not gonna give you clarity. You can do all the deep breathing, you can do all the power poses, you can do all the focus wheels you want. Without clarity, the confidence is not going to show up. Okay, now in our 5C Inner Circle, we go real deep into this calibration piece because if we get into the endocrine system and the, um, your arousal levels and different things and talk about how all of that ties into it. But we're gonna just keep moving through it right now. So confidence— now this is what I call the foundation. Step 4 is where we start doing the doing. And I want you to keep in mind that step 4 is not step 1. Step 4 is not step 1. If you reach out to me and go, hey, Coach Jay, I want to lose 100 pounds. I'm not going to send you to Planet Fitness tomorrow. First thing I'm gonna do is get you clarity. You want to lose 100 pounds? Okay, what size shirt you want to wear? What size pants you want to wear? What size dress you want to wear? You got a scale in your bathroom? Describe your scale to me. Okay, it's an all-white scale, they got red digital letters. I want you to imagine standing on that scale. I want you to feel the texture of that scale under your feet. Look down. What number do you see? Damn. Wrong answer. What number do you see? How do you feel seeing that number on that scale? I'm gonna get you clear about what you want, and I'm gonna get you calibrated to what you want, and I'm gonna get you confident in the calibration. Then I'm gonna send you to Planet Fitness. If I— if we jump right here and I send you to Planet Fitness with no clarity, no calibration, and no confidence, the first excuse you get to, to leave, you gonna leave. The first time you catch somebody looking at you and they make a face, you're gonna go, they judging me. That's why I don't work out. That's why I didn't want to do it anyway. I'm leaving. When really, their headphones died. They trying to figure out why their music stopped mid-workout. They're not even thinking about you. You invisible to them because they got clarity, calibration, and confidence. But when you show up in environments without clarity, calibration, and confidence, you tend to feel judged. You tend to feel insecure. You tend to feel not enough. And it's easy to blame it on the environment. It's easy where they don't appreciate what I got. The market oversaturated. It's easy I see the blaming on stuff out there, but the problem is you don't got clarity, calibration, and confidence. I know a lot of people with all the credentials I got, all the schooling I got, all the education I got, but the clarity, the calibration, and the confidence, it hit different over here. I'm so clear, calibrated, and confident. We don't do recessions. You have all the recessions you want with this clarity, with this calibration, and this confidence. We recession-proof over here. You, you can have all the disasters you want with this clarity, with this calibration, with this confidence. We not budging. We not budging. But that's why I want you to get that foundation, that clarity, that calibration, and that confidence before you start doing the doing. If you want to start a business, that's cool. Before you build that website, I want you to get clarity, calibration, and confidence. If you want to lose weight, I want you to start working out. I want you to start eating different. But first, I want you to get clarity, calibration, and confidence. If you're going through a divorce and you want to eventually start back dating, you can put Tinder on your phone. You can go out. You can mix and you can mingle. But before Before you do that, I want you to get clarity, calibration, and confidence. I don't care what area you, you working on your life in. The foundation is clarity, calibration, and confidence. You got to realize that every problem is a thinking problem. Every problem is a thinking problem. I don't care if you want to make more money. I don't care if you want your body to look different. I don't care if you want your marriage to look different. I don't care if you want your relationship with your children to look different. If you start thinking different, you're gonna start doing different on accident. If you stop thinking about what you don't want, Start thinking about what you do want. It's gonna accidentally change the way you feel. And when you change the way you feel, you ain't got no choice but to act different. Think about it. When you pissed off, when you feel some type of way, when somebody done really pissed you off, it's very easy for you to mouth off, put people back in their place, and say what you got to say and not feel bad about it. But then when you feeling better, then when you in a better mood and you feeling good again, you go, why did I say that? I really be wilding sometimes. I really got to work on my attitude. Why did I say that? But when you felt pissed off, when you felt angry, That behavior just flew out of you. But imagine what happened if, despite what's in your bank account, you start feeling successful. Despite your calendar being empty, you feel successful. Despite not looking at the scale and seeing the number that you want to see, or looking in the mirror and seeing the body that you want to see, you feel sexy right now. You feel energized right now. You feel like you worthy right now. You're gonna show up to the gym different. You're gonna show up to the dating pool different. You're gonna show up to your business different. You're gonna show up to your consultations different. I don't care what you facing. I need you to quit facing what you facing. I need you to start facing what you would rather have. I'm gonna say that again. I don't care what you facing. I don't care what you facing. I need you to quit thinking about what you facing, and I need you to understand that working on a problem is not the same thing as building a solution. You got a choice. The problem went that way, the solution went that way. Which way are you going? Are you gonna follow the problem or are you gonna follow the solution? My well-researched, educated opinion is that you follow the solution. Follow the solution. Let the problem do what it does, because let me tell you something, really big problems have really big solutions. The bigger the problem, the bigger the solution. But if you hypnotized by the problem, your attention is captivated and you can't find a solution. The bigger the problem, the bigger the solution. Really big problems got really big obvious solutions. If you got a big problem like cancer, it's— you got a real big desire to be free of it. Really big problems have really big solutions. So I suggest you get from under the influence of the really big problem and get under the influence of the really big solution. Is that making sense? Really big problems have really big solutions. You should get excited when you see a big problem because that means it's a big solution right there. If you just turn 180 degrees, you're gonna be fake— you're gonna be face to face with a big solution. You're gonna be face to face with a solution. But in order to face the solution, you got to take your attention off the problem. You got to realize one of the things about the subconscious mind is you can't tell it what not to do. Whatever. Watch this. Whatever you do, don't think about a purple elephant. Whatever you do, don't— I don't want nobody in here thinking about a purple elephant. Do not think about a purple elephant. Every time I say don't think about a purple elephant, what, what pops up in your mind? A purple elephant. So until— instead of telling yourself not to think about the purple elephant, you got to tell yourself what to think about. You got to tell yourself what to think about. I remember my sister's old house. She had white carpet in her living room. And her baby walked in there with some red juice on top of her white carpet, and she go, you better not waste that juice on my— by the time she said waste that juice, that baby had dropped that cup. She said, I'm feeling— I said, you're not gonna do nothing to that baby, you hypnotized. She said, I told her not to waste the juice. That's not how the subconscious mind works. That's not how the subconscious mind works. You ever woke up in the middle of the night and decided you was gonna go get a little snack or something out the kitchen? And everybody else sleep. So you telling yourself, don't be loud, don't be loud. Next thing you know, you knocking over shit that you wouldn't typically knock over. You, you making noise that you wouldn't typically be making. What's happening is the subconscious mind saying, don't be loud. Oh, sorry, already did. Don't loud. Yeah, I know what that is. You can't tell it what not to do. You got to tell it what to do. Instead of telling yourself don't be nervous, tell yourself show up confident. Put this— put those shoulders back, put that chest out, put that head up. Tell yourself what to do. Tell yourself what to do. Another thing that you got to understand about the subconscious mind is the subconscious mind knows that the word try implies failure. The word try implies failure. If you pay me for a session and I try to show up, you're gonna have a problem with it. Let's say we had a schedule, a session scheduled for right now, and you sitting in my Zoom room or you sitting in my office and you get on TikTok, you go hit He on TikTok. You get in the comments, you say, hey, AJ, what's up, man? We had a session. I go, oh, my bad, man. I tried, but then I remembered I had to go live. You're gonna say, oh, uh, okay, um, send me my money back. Then imagine this. Imagine if I tell you I'ma try to give you your money back. How you gonna feel about that if I, if I try to give you your money back? And my sessions ain't cheap neither, man. So how you gonna feel if I, if I try To give you your money back. You're gonna have a problem with that, right? So why are you trying to lose weight? Why are you trying to quit smoking? Why are you trying to start a bit— you're gonna start the business or not? You're gonna lose the weight or not? You're gonna quit smoking or not? You're gonna be upset, real upset, right? But I want you to get equally upset when you trying to get something that you really, really want. I want you to hold you accountable the same way you would hold me accountable. Don't try. Like, you're like, what you mean you gonna try? What you mean? I want you to— I want you to have that same type of energy when it's time to turn it inward. That's the superpower. When people find out I'm a hypnotist, they usually say one of two things: either don't hypnotize me, or can you teach me how to hypnotize people? The question that they should be asking is, can you teach me how to hypnotize me? Because when I know how to influence me, I don't need nobody else for anything else. When I know how to make me stay consistent and go to the gym, I don't need you to do a certain thing. When I know how to make me eat a certain way, when I know how to make me focus a certain way, when I know how to control my mind, I don't need to mind control you. Mind controlling me is a full-time job. We got to turn that attention inward. You got to realize what other people think about you don't matter. What other people think about you don't matter. Now, what you think about what they think about you, that matters a whole lot. But what you think about me, until I put my consciousness on— consciousness on it, it means nothing. You could think I'm ugly, but if I don't think about you thinking me ugly, it has zero effect on me. Now, if I sit there and go, why you think I'm ugly? You think I'm— what? Now, now it's affecting me. But if I never put my attention on it, it can't affect me. Stop putting your attention on stuff that don't matter. That's where this calibration piece comes in. Comes in. I want you so calibrated to your goal. I want you so locked in on where you headed that you ain't got no focus left for anything that's distracting you from that. You don't care what they say on CNN. You're not calibrated to CNN. You don't care what they say on MSNBC. You're not calibrated to MSNBC. I'm so calibrated to my goal of coaching high performers and entrepreneurs and athletes. I don't care if it's 9 people in here or 9,000 in here. I'm not calibrated to that number. I'm calibrated to my goal. I'm calibrated to being the best me that I can be. I'm calibrated to what I set out to do. I don't care how nobody in here feels about it. People say things in the comments, that's stupid. I don't— I'm not calibrated to what you say. And then you can't, you can't, you can't calibrate to the good or the bad because people will, man, people are finicky. People will turn on you. Somebody be your biggest supporter on Monday and not be able to stand you on Tuesday. So you can't let them control you with the cheers. You can't let them control you with the boos. You got to be motivated, inspired, and captivated by what you desire. Now, if you meet somebody who willing to support you and be in lockstep with you, good. I'm not saying you don't— you can't be in a relationship. You could be in a relationship, but you just can't let that relationship be what you calibrate to. It's not your partner's job to make you happy. It's not your partner's job to make you successful. It's your job to get clarity about what you want and calibrate to that. And you got to quit blaming not having what you desire on other people. If you see in your mind, your body has no choice but to follow. You got to discipline your thinking. You got to stop using willpower to do things and start using willpower to discipline your mind. Willpower is not designed to control the body. Willpower is designed to control the mind. I done worked up a whole sweat. Keep tapping the screen, y'all. Keep tapping, I keep talking. Willpower is not designed to control the body. The purpose of willpower is to discipline the mind. The Bible said don't be conformed to the ways of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of what? Your mind. Stop trying to control your flesh. You don't got to control your flesh. Control your mind. About 20 minutes ago, my flesh did not want to go live. I sent my mind to live, and the flesh had no choice but to follow. When I end this live, depending if I end early enough, we got a workshop tonight. But when I end this live, so at some point tonight before I go to sleep, I'm going to the gym. I'm not getting in a negotiation with my body about whether or not I'm going to the gym. I'm sending my mind to the gym and my body has no choice but to follow. And when you start controlling your mind and you start, um, because these, these are pieces that a lot of people miss. You need water in your body. You need protein in your body. You need a decent amount of sleep. Those are 3 big pieces of mental health that a lot of people just not talking about. I need you drinking water. I need you getting some sleep. I need you getting some protein in your body. That little piece right there is actually what we call the foundation of mind control. Like, people hear hypnosis and they think mind control. Mind control is way easier than hypnosis. Deprive somebody of protein, deprive somebody of sleep, take away the people that they seek advice from, and give them something to fear. That's the recipe for mind control. I'm not telling you that so you can mind control people. I'm telling you that so you can take care of yourself. Keep some water in your body, keep some protein in your body, get some sleep. It's impossible for you to think clearly when you don't got protein, you don't got sleep, and you dehydrate. A lot of times you might think you got a willpower problem, you might think you got a follow-through problem, You thirsty, you hungry, you tired, and it's easier to watch Netflix than to do anything else because you thirsty, you hungry, and you tired. Take care of yourself. Take care of yourself. You could be, do, and have anything you desire. You could be, do, and have anything you desire. Your only limit in life is your own imagination. If you can think it, you could do it. I'm here to tell you, you can think it. You can think it. I don't care if you ain't been thinking it. I hate when they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. You absolutely can. Now, the old dog gotta have the desire for the new trick, but you absolutely can. You could be, do, and have anything you desire, but you got to take time to desire it, and you got to spend more time— like, listen to the internet. You could be, do, and have— I didn't say you could be, do, and have anything. I said you could be, do, and have anything you desire. Appreciate y'all. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Makes sense. I didn't say you could be doing, have anything. I said you could be doing, have anything you desire. But when you thinking about what you don't want, you're not desiring. When you living in fear and anxiety, you're not desiring. When you on the phone talking about what you don't want with your sister and your friend and anybody else who will listen, you're not talking about what you're not desiring. You fearing, you running from knowing what you don't want. It's not the same thing of knowing what you do want. I want you to get in the habit of asking yourself, what would I rather have? I don't care if you're in a fight with your spouse. What would I rather have? And just by answering that question, your mind will start to go that way on accident. If your spouse says something slick to you, before you say something back, ask yourself, what would I rather have? Then respond. I'm teaching you hypnosis 101. I gotta influence me before I got any chance of influencing you. If I can't influence me, I don't stand a chance with influencing you. You gotta control your thinking. You gotta control your mind. You gotta control your mind. Before I discipline my kids, I gotta get under the— like, imagine this. If I'm in my office working with a client, Ralph's teacher calls me once. I sent her the voicemail. She called right back. I go, oh man, something must be wrong. I say, excuse me, I'm sorry, I gotta, I gotta take this. I get on the phone and she say, can you talk to Raphael? He will not sit down. He won't be still. He's jumping up and down. He's speaking out of turn. I told him I was gonna call you. He act like he didn't even care. Can you talk to him? I'm gonna be aggravated. I'm gonna be pissed off. I'm gonna be annoyed. But before I discipline Ralph, I got to get under the influence of what I want. I don't want your teacher calling me. I don't want to be interrupted while I'm, while I'm working. I don't want my, my day being mixed up. But, but if I go in to discipline him under the influence of what I don't want, guess what we're going to talk about? We're gonna talk about why your teacher calling me while I'm trying to work. We're not talking about what happened at school. We talking about what I'm under the influence of. We talking about my day getting interrupted. We talking about I'm trying to work with a client, you know how unprofessional it is for me to have to take a call in the middle of a session because you don't know how that— we not fixing the problem. I'm getting off my chest what I'm under the influence of. But it's like this in every area of life. Before I get out of debt, I got to get from under the influence of being in debt. Before I find myself in a happy marriage, I got to get from under the influence of the marriage that I didn't like. Before I find myself running a successful business, I got to get from under the influence of the L's I took last year and the year before and the year before. I got to get calibrated to what I want. I got to get under the desire of what I want. And let me tell you something, I'm never going to have what I want until I get under the desire of it. And even if I accidentally win the lottery, And I get it physically in riches. If I don't get my mind calibrated to those riches, give me a year. I might not even need a year. Give me 6 months. I can find myself in a happy relationship. If I don't get calibrated to this happy relationship that I'm in, give me, give me 6 months to run this person off. They could be the nicest, most well-meaning, most patient person. If I don't get calibrated To this relationship. The— where the mind goes, the body follows. The mind doesn't follow the body, the body follows the mind. And it's impossible for you to remain physically where you can't hang out mentally. I'm gonna say that again. It's impossible for you to hang out physically where you can't hang out mentally. I don't care if your best friend dragged you there, you're gonna get out of there. I don't care if you got to get sick and throw up and Get a headache, get a mic. Your your body is gonna find a way to get out of there. You could be doing have anything you desire. You could be doing have anything you think about. You could be doing have anything you calibrate to. And with that being said, I don't know why it came up. Somebody needs to hear this. Your power isn't in your ability to be doing have anything you desire. Okay, hear me when I say this. I know that you, you good at this and you're good at that too, and you're good at this and you're good at this too, and you're kind of good at this and you're good at that, and you— but your power isn't in your ability to do all of this. Your power is to say, you know what, 2025 is about this. I'm leaning into this for 2025. Because what happened is when you're trying to do all of that, you're gonna see 10% of your results over here, 4% of your results over here, 3% of your results over here, then you look around and go, nothing ain't working. My coaching business is not working. My therapy business is not working. I wrote a book, it's not doing nothing. I get on my lot. I need you to pick. I'm not saying you can't ever come back to these. I got the— I got the therapy business popping first, then the therapy business was on autopilot. You say, no, you know what, I want to start coaching. Coaching business on autopilot. I say, you know what, I want to start another group where I'm teaching entrepreneurs in bulk. That started working. I said, you know what, I'm gonna buy a software and I'm gonna sell that software to entrepreneurs. I built every last one of my streams of income one at a time, and I didn't even have to build them. It was like one thing spit the next thing out, and then that spit the next thing out. I need you to stop spreading your greatness out and start concentrating your greatness. You got to learn how to focus. You got to figure out what you want and focus on it and not unplant yourself just because it got a little bit hard, just because it got uncomfortable. Let's talk about another analogy that I like to use. Okay, so I need you to understand that this is equal to this. If you got this, you got this. The only thing, the only difference between this acorn and this oak tree is time. Only difference between this acorn and this oak tree is time. I need you to realize that this acorn is the idea, this business I mean, this oak tree is the business. I need you to realize that this acorn is the desire. This oak tree is the relationship. The only thing— the only difference between this and this is time. This is inside of this. This is inside of this. But let's talk about what has to happen during that time. During that time, that acorn has to go in the ground, right? And the acorn is going to start to grow this way before it starts to go that way. It's going to grow down before it grows up. So if you standing On the ground and you trusting in these eyes right here— let's get our little person in here. So if you standing on the ground and you trusting in these eyes right here, you gonna go, oh, it's not working, when the whole time it's getting rooted. The whole time it's getting— oh, and it's 3 of you. Clarity, calibration, confidence. Then step 4 starts to happen— competence. Okay, a few weeks ago I was working with a lady. She had did her first session with me and she asked, well, how do I know it's working? I sat and I thought about it for a moment. I said, how do you know the wind is blowing? She said, I see the leaves blowing, I see the trees moving, I see a flag move, I might see a paper bag fly by. So that's how you're gonna know it's working. You're gonna see yourself taking steps that you wouldn't have took a week ago. You're gonna see yourself thinking thoughts that you wouldn't have thought. Well, you're not gonna see it working, but you're gonna see the results of it working. You don't see it, you see the results of it. If you believe in God, how do you know God exists? You can't see God. You see the— you see the mountains, you see the sunset, you see that you used to be a sperm cell and now you a whole human being. You see the results. And when you looking for it, you convince yourself that it's not working. Don't look for it, look for the results of it. Is this making sense? Y'all getting this? Y'all with me? Oh, we up to 8,000 likes! Y'all ran it up quick. I appreciate y'all. Take it on up to 10. You could be, do, and have anything you desire, but you gotta understand it's gonna grow down before it grows up. It's going to grow down before it grows up. But this acorn, one thing that it can't do That you can do is this acorn cannot unplant itself. The acorn can't go, you know what, this taking too long, I'm going, I'm going to dig myself out of here and go try somewhere else. The acorn has no choice but to stay put. We was playing a trivia game the other day and I think it said something like, um, an acorn, an oak tree don't produce, don't start producing acorns for like 10 years, 20 years. It was some crazy number. It, it'd be like 10 years. I'm on my phone, I can't use it to look it up. I was gonna look it up, but I ain't gonna take the time to log into my computer. But the difference is the acorn can't unroot itself. It ain't got no choice but to stay put. But you can sit here, pay attention to this not working, and you can go, this not working. I knew it wasn't gonna work before I even started. I don't know why I let Jay talk that into me anyway. I, I don't— this don't never work. My grandmama didn't have nothing. My mama didn't have nothing. Stuff never worked out for us. This is not for us. And you can get distracted by this. The acorn can't get distracted. I need you to use willpower to not get distracted. I need you to use willpower to go, God wouldn't give me this desire without the means to carry it through. If I got the idea, I got the means. I could do this. I'm getting better and better every day. I'm getting better and better. If I could think it, I could do it. I need you to use willpower to keep adding positive associations. If you ever been in here when I take you guys through theory of mind, you know what I'm talking about when I say positive associations. You use willpower to pick this and X out this. And you ain't got to X this out because I don't want you fighting this. I just want you focusing on this. You ever heard that they say if you got 2 lions in a village You got an evil line and you got a good line. Which line is going to get bigger? You got 2 lines in a village. You got an evil line and you got a good line. Which line is going to get bigger? I know we got a slight lag, so I'm gonna wait on y'all. I'm gonna give y'all time. Thanks for the follow, Shaw. Whichever one you feed, whichever one you feed. That's exactly right. The lion is gonna get the biggest is which one you feed. If you feed the evil lion, he gonna get bigger. But if you starve that evil lion— you ain't gotta fight him, just starve him. You ain't gotta kill him, just don't give him food. Just don't give him attention. You don't gotta kill your negative thinking. You don't gotta wrestle that problem to the ground. You just gotta quit thinking about it. You just gotta quit giving it your undivided attention. You just gotta spend way more time over here than you spend over here. And sometimes you gotta understand that no thought is easier than a positive thought. Sometimes you might find yourself in a situation where the best manifestation tool you can use is a nap. Sometimes you might find yourself in a situation where the best manifestation tool you can use is to turn something funny on TV and just let it go. We'll reset tomorrow. Sometimes things have picked up so much momentum and they so out of control that it's like you jumped out of a plane and forgot the parachute. Ain't no amount of affirmations, ain't no amount of vision boards, ain't no amount of focus wheels, and no other tool Gonna get you back on track. You gonna eat, man. You gotta— oh, don't worry, it's gonna be over in just a little while. Sometimes you just gotta crash and burn and start fresh tomorrow. Sometimes you just gotta say, hey, I didn't let my thinking get to a point where I couldn't stop it if I wanted it— if I wanted to. I'ma just let it go. I'm gonna stop trying to fix it. And in the military, we used to say this stuff was— what was the word we used? I think it was elf Fuck up beyond repair. And like, hey, put another— it ain't— we could troubleshoot that all day long, replace it. Sometimes you just gotta let it crash and burn and go, tomorrow I'm gonna get control of my thinking early. Tomorrow I'm gonna get in charge of my mood early. Tomorrow I'm gonna make sure I drink more water. I'm gonna make sure I actually get some protein in my body. I'm gonna get to sleep at a decent time tonight, and I'm gonna give myself a chance at this tomorrow. And the relief that comes with, I'm not touching it for today. Sometimes you'll wake up tomorrow and find that that thing took care of itself. You are human. You got consciousness. Consciousness is a powerful thing. Consciousness is a powerful thing. So I didn't say give up. I just said sometimes you just gotta clock back in tomorrow. Look, I love y'all. Ain't nothing y'all could do about it, man. We finna get ready to land. I got a Workshop coming up in about an hour and a half. I want to actually have some voice for that. If any of y'all not in the community— are any of y'all in my own mastermind, my Dreams in Action mastermind? Y'all need to get into Dreams in Action mastermind if anybody want to be in, because I'm working on my, um, my link in my bio right now. I'm putting some new stuff on there. But if anybody wants to come to the meeting that we're about to have at 6 7 o'clock Central Standard Time. If anybody want to come to that meeting, inbox me and say me or something, and I'll send you the link to get signed up in the community. Or actually, send me your email address and I'll get you added into the community. And if I got any entrepreneurs in here, I gotta, um, we got a software that we use called the Dream Engine, and we run all our stuff through the Dream Engine. So if you trying to grow, If you're trying to build your mailing list, you're trying to build your audience and make some real money in 2025, we're giving out free trials of the Dream Image. Anybody interested in checking out any of that, tap in with me, let me know. But I love y'all, ain't nothing y'all can do about it. I'm about to land, man. Thank y'all for the taps, thank y'all for the time, thank y'all for the energy. I'll see y'all next time.
