Why You Keep Going Back to the Same Old You

Whole bunch of stuff at the same time. We gonna figure it out though. All right, we gonna move, we're gonna move this out of the way. Yeah, man, you could be doing, have anything you desire. Y'all already know how we coming. Ain't nothing you can't be, ain't nothing you can't do, ain't nothing you can't have. Your only limit is your own imagination. If you start living on purpose— not even living on purpose, thinking on purpose, getting clear about what you want on purpose, expecting on purpose. Focusing on purpose. Most people use their mind on accident and try to do their life on purpose. You got to switch it. You got to switch it. You got to start using your mind on purpose and living your life on accident. Use your mind on purpose and live your life on accident. Because what you got to understand is the body follows the mind. If I send my mind to success, my body ain't got no choice but to come with it. With it. If I build a successful identity, my body ain't got no choice but But to come with it, you gotta start living on purpose. Ain't nothing you can't be, ain't nothing you can't do, ain't nothing you can't have, but you gotta live on purpose. What's going on, Lux? What's going on, Fancy? May I get on in here? Tap the screen, share the live. Happy Thursday. Yeah, I had to look and see what day it is. Mind your business. Happy Thursday, man. Y'all get on in here. We gonna be talking about what we always talk about, the fact that you could be doing, have anything that you desire. The fact that nothing can stop you except for you. If you're someone, you've done the affirmations, you've made the vision boards, the incantations, the affirmations, you did all that stuff. You said like, coach, it ain't working. Coach, the money's still not here. The relationship's still not here. Life is still not looking the way that I want it to look. Pull up, we're gonna get you right. Pull up, we're gonna get you right. We all over the place today. We on, we on Facebook, we on YouTube, we on TikTok, we on IG, we everywhere. So as y'all come in, man, get active in this chat so that I, so I know that you're here. And I'm trying to arrange everything the way I can keep an eye on everything, so y'all bear with me. But yeah, we're gonna be talking about the fact that you could be, do, and have anything you desire. Ain't nothing you can't be, ain't nothing you can't do, ain't nothing you can't have. And throw those affirmations away. Yeah, I said it, throw them away. I, I wouldn't care if you never did another affirmation again. Throw them away. They don't work. They slowing you down. Coach, I love my affirmation. That's okay, I know. It's okay, I know you do. Do yourself a favor, throw them away. We're gonna get into it, we're gonna get into it. We got to give people time to get in here. Good to see you too. We're gonna give people time to get in here and kick it with us, and we're gonna have some fun, lots of fun. All right, so I'm gonna open this chat. I'm gonna take that out of here, get that to where it stays on the top. Then I'm gonna jump over here. Okay, got that. What's going on, CJ? I had to decide I was coming here, going to the YouTube YouTube. Either one, either one. I'm gonna be putting a new drop over there soon. Either one. Yeah, man, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, share, share, share, share, share. Let's get to it. If it's your first time here, man, I'm Coach Jay. I'm a clinically trained hypnotherapist. I'm the founder of Identity 2.0. We work with athletes, entrepreneurs, executives, founders, day traders, MMA fighters, People in sales, golfers, all types of people, man. We help them get out of their own way. We help them overcome things like imposter syndrome, second-guessing themselves, procrastination, anxiety, burnout. If you're someone who's playing small, if you're someone who's struggling with consistency, if you're someone who's accomplished a lot but feel like there's more in the tank and you're not quite sure how to access it, then you want to hang out in here. What's going on, Mick? What's going on, Jenny? How y'all doing? Welcome to the live. Welcome to the live. Let's go. I need energy, y'all. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Share, share, share, share, share. Let's go. Tap, tap, tap. Share it out. What's going on, Edward? What's going on, Eric? How you doing? I'm about to share the live out. I'm not gonna ask y'all to do nothing that I'm not doing. Give me a second so I can share this thing out. Yeah, give me a second so I can share this thing out. I'm actually starting on time today. I started early today. I started early today. Let's get started. Look at that. All right, give me a second here. Let me get this live shared out. And while I'm sharing the live out, it's a good time for y'all to do the same thing. Let's share this thing out. Let's share this thing out. If you guys got any questions, now's a great time to drop those in the chat. Drop those in the chat because you know when I start flowing, I'm gonna probably miss some of your questions and stuff. So before I really get in my bag, it's a really good time to ask questions if you got any. Really good time to ask some questions if you got any. I got some new toys for y'all too, man. We didn't— we didn't build some really cool stuff, so y'all make sure y'all stick around. Make sure y'all stick around. What's going on, dog? How you doing? Big dog in the building. Let's see, let's see, let's see. All right, yeah, let me share this live out. Share, share, share, share, share, share. So I'm flooding the chat real quick, guys. Y'all see me sharing everything out. So if your comment get washed away, just send it again. And as you guys coming in, man, let me know where you tapping in from. Let me know where you tapping in from. You already know I'm streaming out of Dallas, Texas. Gonna be talking about what we always talk about, the fact that you could be doing anything you desire, the fact that nothing can stop you. When I say nothing can stop you, I literally mean nothing can stop you. Anxiety can't stop you, depression can't stop you, getting laid off can't stop you, a divorce can't stop you. Anxiety, I already said that, but again, it can't stop you. The algorithm can't stop you. The only thing that can stop you is you. The only thing that can stop you is you. When people say, oh, so-and-so stopped me, let me tell you what they really mean. That thing didn't stop them. That's what they were focusing on when they stopped. This is a very important distinction. The thing didn't stop them. That's just the thing that they were focusing on when they stopped. COVID didn't stop you. COVID just had your attention when you stopped. The divorce didn't stop you. You just were paying attention to the divorce when you threw in the towel. Getting laid off didn't stop you. That's just a story that you was telling yourself when you You stopped it. Nothing can stop you except for you. Your only limit in any situation is you. Your only limit in any situation is you. If you could think it, you could do it. Go ahead and put that in the chat for me, my real people. If I could think it, I can do it. You need to get that through your head. If you could think it, you could do it. Now, of course you can't do it if you can't think it. Of course you can't do it if you can't think it. But if you could think it, you could do it. And the good news is you could think anything. You just got to discipline your mind. You got to get in the habit of telling your thoughts what to think and telling your feelings what to feel. You got to quit living like an accident. You are not an accident. You are not an accident. What is up? What is up? What is up? Hey, Health, I got something special for y'all that I'm gonna be dropping in the school community. Y'all think I just forgot about y'all? I didn't. I, I built y'all something. I built y'all something really lit. I'm gonna be dropping it in there today. I got, I got something special for y'all. If you could think it, you could do it. Now, if you can't think it, go sit your silly self down. Why would you be able to do something you can't even think? But you could think it. And this is what I love about thinking, guys. This is what I love about thinking. I can go lay across my bed and think. I can go sit out on my balcony and think. I can lay out by the pool and think. I can get me a cigar and think. I can get me a glass of cognac and think. I can go get in my recliner and think. I can go sit on the, um, little— what's the thing called to go between the trees? Um, what's that shit called? I mean, what's that thing called? Whatever it's called. I can go, I can go lay on that and, and think. I can, I could think on a bus. I could think on a train. I don't got to be at church to think. I don't got to be in my therapist's office to think. I don't got to be at a university to think. I can think anywhere. When you start thinking on purpose, I'm telling you, man. When you start focusing on purpose, I'm telling you. I told myself I was going to win my case, and I went into that courtroom and represented myself and won. Check you out. But notice how you held it in your mind before you held it in your reality. And I see so many people who are trying to hold things in their reality that they can't even hold in their mind. How you going to tell source what to do when you can't even tell you what to do? I tell this to like I break this down to younger hypnotists all the time. If you can't control your neurology from inside of your body, if you can't tell your thoughts where to go and your focus where to go and your feelings where to go from inside of your body, how in the hell do you expect to do it for somebody else from outside of their body? You can't talk yourself out of a bad mood, but you think you're gonna hypnotize somebody to quit smoking? You can't talk you talk yourself through a financial situation, and you think you're going to hypnotize somebody to stop biting their nails or to stop being nervous or to walk on stages with unshakable. No, if you can't like people got to stop looking at manifesting as telling source what to do and start looking at manifesting as telling me what to do, telling my thoughts where to go, telling my focus where to go, telling my feelings where to go, telling my expectations where to go, creating my internal dialogue about. Manifestation is not about telling things what to do. Manifestation is not about controlling reality. It's about controlling you. But the dope thing is, through your ability to control you, you can influence reality. You control you, you influence reality. I've told you guys a story about when the cop pulled me over 9 or 10 months ago. I passed a cop going 30 miles over the speed limit. As he's walking to the car, I'm saying, oh shit, I gotta hypnotize him. I didn't pick up a pocket watch and say, you're getting sleepy. I didn't say, look into my eye. No, as he's walking to the window, I see that he's about the same age as my Uncle Collie. I say, hey subconscious mind, that's my uncle standing outside of this window. I'm not controlling the cop, I'm controlling me. I said, hey subconscious mind, that's my uncle standing outside of this window. My subconscious mind said, I didn't know you had a white uncle. Yeah, I do now. That's my uncle. That's my uncle. So I'm saying yes, sir. No, sir. Yes, officer. No, officer. But my energy is saying, what's going on, Unc? We got the same middle name. We got the same last name. Before you had a son of your own, I was the closest thing you said you had to a son. Used to pick me up from school so you could take me to the mall so you can go pick up women. My subconscious mind is saying we know each other. My subconscious mind is saying if you give me a ticket, Granny gonna call you. And she gonna be pissed that you gave her favorite grandson a ticket. My subconscious mind is saying, if you give me a ticket, my mama, your big sister, is gonna call you. If you give me a ticket, when you get home, your wife is gonna say, why did you give my nephew a ticket? You got a lot of women to explain yourself to if you give me a ticket. Go with your move. What does he do? You can see the confusion on his face because he's trying to figure out where he knows me from. He looking and he can't figure out where he know me from because he don't— he doesn't know me. But the energetic signature that I'm pushing out says we know each other. So what does he do? He turns into a father figure in my life. He says, son, have you lost your mind? I say, sir. He said, don't sir me. Have you lost your mind? You have any idea how fast you were going? And he goes on this tangent. You know how many people I've seen die on this road doing exactly what you're doing? If I ever catch you doing this again, I'm gonna tow your car. I'm gonna take you to— he go through all this stuff he gonna do if he ever catch me do it again. He said, I'm gonna let you off with a warning this time, but you better slow down. I say, yes, sir. Yes, sir. He turned into my uncle. I guarantee you, if that was my uncle outside of that car, he would have did the same thing. He would have cussed me out, man. What the hell are you doing? I didn't control the officer. I controlled me. Put a 1 in the chat if you catch that. I didn't hypnotize him nearly as much as I hypnotized me, but through my ability to hypnotize me, I was able to influence him. You so busy trying to influence your wife that you forgot to influence you. You so busy trying to influence people to buy your stuff that you forgot to influence you. You so busy trying to make things happen out there that you skip the part where you make things happen in here. Everything happens in here first. You can't have anything out there until you have it in here. Jesus in the scripture say, nothing comes to me except unless it comes through my Father that is in heaven. Nothing comes to me unless it comes through my subconscious, the consciousness out of my awareness, the infinite. If you don't got it in the infinite, how can you have it in the limited? It's gonna be done on earth as it is in heaven. You trying to have things on earth that you don't even have in heaven. You gotta get it inside first. That's why we so big on that concept of inside out over here, not outside in, inside out. I gotta have it in me before I can have it outside of me. Coach Jay, how do I show up confident? Well, you gotta get confident. Internally first. We got to build you the neurology of a confident person. We got to get you thinking the thoughts of a confident person. We got to get you expecting what confident people expect. We got to get you noticing what confident people notice. We got to get you ignoring what confident people ignore. And as we get you running the internal identity of, of, um, confidence, it's going to spill outside of you. That's why I'm so big on that word accident. You hear me talk about on accident every day. I want you to be confident on accident. I want you to win on accident. I want you to show up boldly on accident. Coach Jay, why you want me to do it on accident? Because you weren't using willpower to lose. You weren't using willpower to play small. You weren't using willpower to let people walk all over you. You were doing that on accident. So if you was losing on accident, I want you winning on accident. Well, how crazy is it that you need willpower? You don't need willpower to lose, but you need willpower to win. No, I want— I want winning to become as natural for you as losing used to be. I want you to start winning on accident the same way you used to lose on accident. I want you to start walking in the rooms with your shoulders back and your chest out and your chin up the same way you used to accidentally walk Walk in the rooms with crappy body language and looking down at the ground while you talk to people. Yep. And, um, the 12 Dimensions niche, we call it— I— we call it attentional focus. We call that attentional focus. And successful people have really high attentional focus. So they tell their attentions where to go. Their attention don't get to jump around like a pinball machine. They tell it where to go. Their perspective and worldview is they tell it how did it, how it's going to be interpreted. My perspective and worldview, it's only 12 people in here. My perspective and worldview is going to say it's 12 people here. It's 12 people. That's 12, 12 people. That's 24 eyeballs. That's 24 ears. Oh man, we cooking. We could— my perspective and worldview is working in real time. And it— and the way that my attention and my perspective and worldview connect and work I'm gonna accidentally roll my shoulders back because of the story I'm telling myself. It ain't no reason for him to droop. Coleman, the husband of Corey B. Jakes, is facing and dealing with a staged conviction text. Hey, you should go live and talk about that officially. You should go live and talk about that. Don't come try to make my live about what you want my live to be about. You got to go live and use your platform. But yeah, man, you can be, do, and have anything you desire. Ain't nothing you can't be. Ain't nothing you can't do. Ain't nothing you Can't have. Your only limit in life is you. The economy can't stop you. The president can't stop you. A diagnosis can't stop you. A death in your family can't stop you. A divorce can't stop you. Getting laid off can't stop you. It can piss you off. It can hurt your feelings. It can distract you. It can hijack your faith, but it can't stop you. Only you can stop you. Only you can stop you. Does that make sense? There is nothing you can't be. There is nothing you can't do. There is nothing you can't have. Your only limit is you, and you got to start operating in your purpose on purpose. Like, you operating in your purpose because it's your purpose, right? But you got to start operating in your purpose on purpose, because when you living on accident, your purpose get muddy. Then when your purpose get muddy, the scriptures say that your gift should make room for you. But when you're not living on purpose, your gift don't tend to make the type of room for you that it could be making for you. It's gonna do some things for you, but it's not gonna work to its full extent till you start living on purpose. And the thing that you got to learn about purpose is people always look at purpose from this like inspirational standpoint. Purpose is inspirational, but this is the part of purpose that people ignore. Purpose is also restrictive. Purpose— purpose is not just inspirational and motivational, and now that I know my purpose, I can take over the world. Yes, but in order To take over the world through your purpose, it's got to become restrictive. I don't do that. I do this. I don't read those type of books. I read this type of book. I don't hang out in those type of vibes. I hang out in this type because of my purpose. Like your purpose puts these walls up. Your purpose puts these walls up, and what you got to do is you got to start operating within those walls. My practice took off in a very short period of time when I started realizing my purpose. My purpose is entrepreneurs, athletes, executives, founders, day traders. I work with what you call high performers. I work with what you call go get Jay. I got this pain in my shoulder. Can you help me? Yes, but that's not my purpose. Here go another hypnotist that I know. That's that's his purpose. Jay, I'm struggling with this thing. Listen, I work in self-development. My what my practice is about is getting people to a point where they can walk into any room with their shoulders back, their chest out, and their chin up. Where they can stand on any stage as if God himself put them on that stage. So if you if you're someone who's struggling with procrastination, I can think of a better person to help you. Than me. If you're someone that's struggling with overthinking, if you're an entrepreneur who can't get out of your own way, you struggle with consistency, you talk down to yourself, you're watching people less talented than you do more than you, and you've done the affirmations and the vision boards and the incantations and the medication and the therapy and it's still not working, you might want to come over here and kick it with Coach Jay. As I started putting those walls up and somebody— and understanding that just because somebody had $1,500 didn't mean that they were my customer. As I start allowing my purpose to restrict me, as I start allowing my purpose to say, "I don't do that. I don't do. I don't do that. I do this. I don't do that. I do." Oh man! My purpose started making a lot of room for me. My gift started making a lot of room for me. Understand the gift didn't get better. I just got intentional with how I used it. The gift is not that the gift got better. It's not that I know things then that I didn't know now. I'm just living on purpose now, and because I'm living on purpose, my gift is making room for me. And what you got to understand is you have a gift and you have purposes. God doesn't create without purpose. God always creates the purpose before he creates the person. All throughout the scripture, you see God creating purpose and then creating the person. The person never precedes the purpose. That's why prophecies in the, in the Old Testament were able to come about in the New Testament, because God was thinking purpose hundreds of years ahead of time. God is— he creates purpose first and then the person. You had a purpose before you had a name. You had a purpose before you had a heartbeat. You had a purpose before your dad saw your mom and decided he liked what he saw. You always had purpose. You've always had— so it's not a question of rather or not you have purpose. The question is, are you living on purpose? I'm not questioning rather or not you have— I know you got purpose. Never doubted it. Like, get in Genesis. You'll under— you'll quickly realize Adam was one of the last creations that God did. He didn't create Adam and then create his purpose. By the time God created Adam, he had an environment for Adam to exist in. He had a job for Adam to do. He had a purpose for Adam to fulfill. And as he was watching Adam fulfill that purpose and do that job, he said, wait a minute, Adam shouldn't be alone. He saw a purpose for Eve. And once he saw a purpose for Eve, he created Eve. All throughout the scripture, the purpose precedes the person. You have a purpose, but when you're living on accident, the purpose tends to get cloudy. I want you to make a vow to yourself right here in this moment— not later today, not tonight before you go to bed— right here in this moment, I want you to make a vow to yourself that you done living on accident. And you had a chapter in your life where you finna start waking up on purpose. You had a chapter in your life where you done going to bed on accident. You finna start going to bed on purpose. When you wake up in the morning, you gonna start getting outta bed on purpose. You gonna go in your closet and get dressed on purpose. You gonna start using— oh man, half of y'all think y'all using TikTok, and I swear TikTok using y'all. Half of you, you think, you swear you using ChatGPT, and I promise you ChatGPT using you. You gotta start living on purpose, man. You not an accident. Why you acting like one? You're not an accident. Why are you acting like one? A year or two ago, my son, he was getting in trouble in class and he thought I was gonna really get on him. I say, son, you're not an accident. Why are you acting like one? I walked out the room, just let him ponder on that. You're not an accident. Why are you acting like an accident? Why are you not thinking before you speak? Why are you not thinking before you do things? I understand that your prefrontal cortex is still developing, but still, son, you're not an accident. Why are you acting like an accident? You, you ponder on that. You could put— you could play your game. I'm not taking none of your stuff, but I want you to just ask yourself, why am I living on accident? Why am I acting like an accident? Why am I acting like God didn't create me on purpose? Why am I acting like I'm here for no reason? And his teacher called me like 3 or 4 days later. She said, Mr. Shaw, I don't know what you did to Ralph, but this is a new young man. I said, yeah, he living on purpose now. Like, you will accidentally start getting your life together if you just start living on purpose. I didn't say you have to fix your whole life tomorrow. Just start living on purpose. Start living on purpose. And you got to start getting crystal clear about what is it that you want. Most people who end up in my office, one of their biggest problems is that they don't know what they want. They know exactly what they don't want, and they got a long list of things that they're willing to do to get away from what they don't want. But you got to understand that that's not the same thing as knowing what you want. It gives you a major advantage when you're living life under the influence of what you want. Okay, Jay, what do you mean? Like, what, why, why is not knowing what you want not the same thing as knowing what you want? You gotta understand, not wanting to get divorced is not the same thing as wanting to build a thriving marriage that withstands the test of time. The ideas that I get when I don't want to get divorced are not the ideas that I get when I'm trying to build a marriage that withstands the test of time. You gotta understand, not wanting to go out of business is not the same thing as wanting to build a thriving business that I can one day pass down to my children. The ideas that I get when I'm building a thriving business that I intend to pass down to my children are not the ideas that I get when I'm trying not to go to business— going out of business. Trying not to go out of business sends me into fight or flight. Trying not to go out of business shuts down my prefrontal cortex, sends me to the base of the brain, and I'm thinking like a dinosaur. You know who's a horrible CEO? A dinosaur. You know who's a horrible founder? Founder, a dinosaur. Do yourself a favor and get under the influence of what you want. What do I want? What do I want? What do I want? You should be asking yourself that question hundreds of times a day. You should be asking yourself, what do I want, every single time you see something you don't like. Because like, what you got to understand is that you are a creator, and creators create. If you came to the live yesterday, you'll see I had on a sweatshirt that say creators create. If you want one, send Coach Jay $59, we'll get you one. But creators create. Creators create, okay? So you don't get an option in rather not you creating. The question is, are you creating on accident or are you creating on purpose? When you're creating on accident, one day you're gonna look around and go, where the hell did all this come from? I don't like it. Where did it come from? You created it, friend. You're gonna say, I wouldn't create this. No, you wouldn't create that on purpose. But when you creating on accident, you don't really have a say-so. But when you start creating on purpose, you start to see the beauty in what you don't like. Because the stuff that you don't like is telling you where to point your creative powers. I remember being in the military, hated being in the military. Couldn't grow my beard, couldn't wear my nose ring, couldn't braid my hair, couldn't travel the way that I wanted to travel, move the way that I wanted to move. I felt restricted. I felt small. I felt like life was passing me by, right? And for a long time, I would find other people who felt the same way, and we would compare stories. Oh man, you think that's bad? Let me tell you what my sergeant— let me, let me tell you about— they sent me on a deployment, and we would compare stories, and we would stay stuck the whole while we were comparing those stories. We kept going on deployments. We kept going on TDYs, we kept re-enlisting, we kept being in the military. One day I sat down and I got clear about what I wanted. Now what you got to understand is, as you start to get this clarity, the clarity usually shows up as what you don't like. Your clarity is usually buried in what you don't like. But one day I'm sitting down and I remembered I had 2— I had 2 kids in 2013. My son was born in May, my daughter was born in October. So this is the tail end of 2013, early 2014. I'm sitting there, I'm holding both of my babies, I'm looking at my babies, I'm going, wait a minute, I've been out here just living on accident, just ripping reckless, and even in my accidental recklessness, I created these 2 beautiful children. I'm looking at their big pretty brown eyes, these big locks of hair, this smooth brown skin. They look like they dance, they look amazing. I'm looking at my babies, I'm going, wait a minute, if I— if this is what I create when I'm living on accident, I wonder what I could do if I start living on purpose. If my accidents are this beautiful, if my accidents are this miraculous, what would it look like if I started living on purpose? And I sat down that day and I said, what do I want? And just like always, I see it in my customers all the time. When I first asked what I want, my mind went to what I didn't want. I said, what do I want, man? I'm tired of being in the military. I'm tired of wearing that damn camouflage and stupid-ass hair. Okay, cool, cool, cool. But I, I discovered this one magic question. What would I rather have? What would I rather have? And I sat there and answered that question. I want to grow my beard. I want to wear my nose ring. I want to braid my hair. I want freedom. I want choice. I want independence. You know what? I don't want to work. I want to play. I don't want to work. I want to play. I want to get paid to do things that I would do for free. And it's like when I stumbled into that, it lit something up. I don't want to work. I want to play. I want to get paid to do things that I would do for free. I don't want to work. I want to play. I want to get paid to do things that I would do for free. I want to travel, man. I want to— I don't want my money connected to my stripes. I want my money connected to my passion. I want people to see me out in the world. I want them to have a whole— like, is he working or is he playing? Is he playing or is he working? Because it's like he working. I know they paid him to be there, but he making money, but he's having a time. I want to get paid to do things I would do for free. I want to get paid to do things I would do I want to get paid to do things that I would do for free. So I just kept thinking that thought, and eventually that thought turned into, what are things that I'm already good at that I could get paid to do? And I said, man, I love hypnosis. I love NLP. I love psychology. I love human behavior. I love self-development. I love, like, success. I love finding successful people and reverse engineering how they did this. How did they become successful? You know what? I want to help successful people be even more successful. I want to be a clinically trained hypnotherapist. Hypnotherapist. I want to be a clinically trained hypnotherapist. I want to hypnotize athletes, entrepreneurs, executives, founders, day traders, MMA fighters. Yeah, yeah. Now, as I started focusing on what I wanted, I accidentally started moving in the direction of what I wanted. Understand, my body was still in camouflage. My body was still in combat boots. I still had a nameplate, a name tag that said Sergeant Shaw. Going across my— well, it said Shaw and the stripe said Sergeant, but I was still very much in the military, but my mind was going on what I wanted. And as my mind started going towards what I wanted, I accidentally started reading some really cool books that aligned with what I wanted. As my mind started going towards what I wanted, I accidentally stumbled and fell into some really good podcasts. As my mind started going where I wanted, my money started going to what I Things that I used to spend money on, man, I ain't spending my money on. I'm going to spend my money on this, man. You finna spend $1,500 to go to a— man, that's great. I'll see you when I get back. As my mind started going towards what I want, I accidentally fired some of my old friends and hired me some new friends. As my mind started going to where I wanted, my YouTube algorithm changed. TikTok wasn't around back then, I don't think, or it might have been new. My Instagram algorithm changed, my Facebook algorithms. The things that I was seeing, the things that I was consuming started to change. As I started consuming different things, my conversation started to change the way I spent my free time. I accidentally joined Toastmasters. I accidentally became a better orator. Accidentally started watching TED Talks. Accidentally met some hypnotists. Accidentally met some people who was doing the thing that I wanted to do for a living. And because my mind was already moving in that direction, I felt familiar to them. I felt familiar to them. And as I felt familiar to them, They welcomed me in with open arms because I felt familiar to them. A lot of times I see this a lot now at this chapter in my life. People will feel unfamiliar and they want you to stop what you're doing and mentor somebody who feels unfamiliar. You don't feel familiar. Notice what I said. I didn't say you don't look familiar. I didn't say you don't sound familiar. I said you don't feel familiar. I have 5 or 6 young men and I have 2 young women that I do mentor. But the people that I mentor, they didn't even have to ask me to mentor them. When I saw them, they felt familiar. I could tell that they had already been reading, they had already been studying. They wasn't asking me, Jay, can you teach me hypnosis? No, they were asking me really— they were asking me good questions. It made me slow down and think. They were asking me questions about, Jay, so I understand you went to HMI, so that means you had some Capucinian training, but I watch a lot of your work and I can see how you mix in some Ericksonian work too, but also can see you do. And they'll be, how do you decide in section which one of those bags to wear? I said, oh wow, you feel for me. Come here. You feel— you're not asking me, Jay, do— if I get a pocket watch, I don't like— bro, go get on YouTube, go get on ChatGPT. Stop asking me stuff that you can ask ChatGPT. But when you come up to me and you asking me questions that you could ask ChatGPT, but it wouldn't do you much good— you feel familiar. You don't gotta ask me to mentor you because I want to mentor you. And a lot of times you go, well, my brother-in-law could do such and such, but he ain't— you don't feel familiar. Get in the field. Stop waiting on something. Nobody's coming to save you. Nobody's coming to save you. And when you get to a point where people are coming to save you, it's going to be because you no longer need to be saved. You got to understand, to need is to not have. Needing is one frequency. Having is another frequency. When you're on a frequency of needing, you don't— you, you aren't allowed to have. Does that make sense? To need is to not have. You look at like celebrities that have A lot of money. Have a lot of resource. They have a lot of clothing brands will send them these stuff. Hey, we will pay you to wear our brand. They don't gotta buy the stuff because they don't need the stuff. Now, if you need the stuff, you can't have the stuff. To need is to not have. You gotta go ahead and have. Now, what you gotta understand about having is having is a state of being. I'm about to blow somebody's mind, and when I blow it, I want you to put a mind blown emoji in the chat. That having is a state of being. You think it goes like this: I have it, I don't have it, I have it, I don't have it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You got to understand that having happens in your nervous system. Having happens in your internal dialogue. Having happens in your reticular activation system. Think about it. Stay with me. I could be in a place where I have millions of dollars in the bank, and even in that having of million dollars, even in that physical having of million dollars, I can go hormonally and neurologically and not I go, what if my wife leave me and take it all? What if the R— what if I make a mistake on my taxes and IRS does not, and then they tie it all? What if somebody trips up all in my office and they sue me and they take it all? Even since— even in the having, I can go in a state of not having. One of the things that I always tell my clients, if it'll work in that direction, it'll work in that direction. If it'll work in that direction, it could work in that direction. If I could physically have something and go neurologically and hormonally and not have it, that means I could physically not have something and go neurologically and hormonally and have Does that make sense? If I can physically have something, I could physically have health. I can have a healthy body, but I can go, what if I get sick? I saw this stuff on the news. What if I get sick? Everything, man. Everybody's getting sick. My cousin, she's never been sick before, and she she got sick. And I was on Facebook, and the guy that I went to school with, same age as me, just died in his sleep. Like, what if that happens? I could physically have health and go hormonally and neurologically. Psychologically and not have health. So if I can be healthy and not have health, why can I be not healthy and have health? And this is how the scripture break it down. The rich will get richer and the poor will lose the little that they have. The rich will get richer and the poor will lose the little that they have. So if you somebody who feel like you in a circumstance of not enough, unless you want to lose that not enough, you better go ahead and get rich. How do you— Jay, how do I get rich? You get rich, and the rich get richer. So you get rich, man. The bank account might not look exactly like I want to look, but I got this iPhone, and this iPhone allows me to talk to people all over the world. I got, I got good ideas. I got connections. I got a mouthpiece. I got resources. I'm creative. I'm alive. I got air. Get rich. The way that you get rich is by getting rich. If you come here all the time, you've heard me say this 100 times. I work with athletes. The first conversation I have with every athlete is, hey, you don't get a trophy and then become a champion. You don't get the trophy and then become a champion. What happens is you become a champion. You become— well, Coach, how do I become a champion if I don't got a trophy yet? Oh, I'm glad you asked. You start thinking about what champions think about. You start expecting what champions expect. You start paying attention to what champions pay attention to. You start ignoring what champions ignore. You start talking to yourself the way that only a champion would talk to itself. You start giving birth to expectations that only a champion would give birth to. And as you start doing that, as you start running that identity of champion, you're gonna accidentally— listen to what I'm saying— you're going to accidentally start showing up to practice early and leaving practice late because that's what the hell champions do. As you start running the identity of champion, you're gonna accidentally start watching more film. Why? Because that's what champions do. As you start being in the identity of champion, you're gonna accidentally hold yourself to a higher standard, hold your teammates to a higher standard, because that's what champions do. You know what else champions do? Win trophies. If you just be a champion, the trophy gonna find you. The problem is that you waiting on a trophy to make you a champion, and trophies don't make champions. Champions make trophies. I'm gonna say it again. The problem is that you waiting on the trophy to make you a champion when trophies don't make champions. Champions make trophies. The problem is that you're waiting on money to make you a millionaire when money doesn't make millionaires. Millionaires make money. If you want to make money, be a millionaire. Who say, how am I supposed to be a millionaire if my bank account is in the negative? You got to understand that being happens inside of you. Being does not happen in your bank account. Being does not happen in your credit report. Being does not happen in the report that you get from the doctor. Being does not happen in your profit and loss statement. Being does not happen in the follower counting how many people in this room. Being happens in your internal dialogue. Being happens in your nervous system. Being happens in your endocrine system. Being happens in the way you use your reticular activation system. Being happens inside of you. You are a human being, not a human doing, not a human having, a human being. But the crazy thing is, as you be, you're going to accidentally do, and your having will reflect what you do. Your being gives birth to your doing, and your doing gives birth to your having. But most people, they try to skip the being and get right to the doing. And that— no, you got to be it first. You got to be it first. A week or two ago— I don't know what's going on with the algorithm. Even right now, it's only 18 people in our room. I mean, I don't care. I'm not calibrated to the number. But a few weeks ago, um, my wife said, how was the live? And it was alive like this. I was in my bathrobe, baby. It was fire. She said, I came in there, it was only like 3 or 4 people in there. I said, baby, I ain't say it was a lot of people. I said it was fire. How many people in there? That's the algorithm job. That's TikTok job. That's they've been. I I showed up and I delivered like only Coach J can deliver. I was in my bag. I didn't miss a beat. Now that algorithm shit, I suggest TikTok figure that out. I'mma I don't I'mma let them do their job, but I'm not gonna stop doing my job because they screw they that's not my business. This is my business. But what I found is over time, if I just do my job, the algorithm will figure it out. The followers will show up. The people will end up on now. But if I stop doing my job, if I stop doing my job because I'm not satisfied with the way they doing their job, when they ready to start back doing their job, it's gonna be another creator who did stay consistent and he gonna get bumped. He gonna get what was supposed to be my. My job is to do my job. I don't worry about things that aren't my job. If it's 21 people here, 21 people finna get this work. If it's 21 people here, 21 people finna get all that I got. But what I have found is because I do my job, my bank account reflects it. The things parked in my garage reflect it. My address reflects it. The vacations I take reflect— do your job. Stop trying to do other people's job. What's my job? What's my perk? Okay, I'mma do that. I'mma do that. And I didn't always show up this way. Years ago, man, I've been streaming since like 2013. Years ago, When I first like got into this, we talking about like, um, oh, what's the name of that? Periscope days. Put a 1 in the chat if you was around for the Periscope days. Y'all know what Periscope is? But anyway, I used to get on Periscope and I get 1 or 2 people in and I'll just keep it casual. And in the back of my mind, I'm like, man, as soon as we get some people here, I'm gonna blow this thing up. I'm gonna change these people. As soon as we get some people in, I'm gonna blow this thing up. As soon as we get some people here, I'm gonna take it to another level. I'm gonna stream like this soon as we get some people in here. And man, I waited for months and the people never showed up. I was waiting on the people and the people was waiting on me. But one day I was meditating and I just saw an apple tree. And this is weird, I usually don't really see things when I meditate. I usually just be a blank screen. But this apple tree showed up as I was meditating and I'm just Looking at it, and this apple tree started just making apples. I'm just watching apples grow. Apples growing and falling on the ground. Apples growing and falling on the ground. Apples growing and falling on the ground. And I don't know what it's about. I'm just looking. I try to push the apple tree out of my mind. It just come back. I try to push it out again. It just the apple tree keep. So I just get tired of pushing away. So I let the apple tree stay there. Eventually, a man shows up with a basket, and he start picking up apples. Then another man show up and he start picking up apples. Then a woman show up and she start picking up apples. Then something in the back of my mind said, what if the man would have waited until the people showed up to start growing the apples? Man, from that day forward, every time I hit a lie— what's going on, guys? Coach Jay in the building. Empty room, nobody's in the room. I just pressed go live. What's going on? Coach Jay in the building. We're going to talk about the fact that you could be doing to have anything you desire. We finna talk about the fact that the only thing that can stop you is you. You don't have any limits, and if you thought you had some limits, you're gonna leave here without. From the beginning of the room, I would come in like that, and when I started realizing those rooms started getting bigger and the rooms started getting bigger, before I knew it, we had 100,000 people on Periscope. But as long as I was waiting on the people, then I was gonna give the value once the people got— what I learned is, bro, you gotta— apple tree doesn't make apples because somebody's gonna pick them. Apple tree makes apples because he's an apple tree. An apple tree doesn't make apples because people are going to pick them. An apple tree makes apples because it's an apple tree. So I had to say, hey, are you a motivator? Yeah, I'm a motivator. Okay. Motivators don't motivate because people are clicking and because people are following them, because people— motivators motivate because God created them to motivate. Inspire us. Inspire because God created them to inspire. So my job is to inspire. And I don't care if nobody's there to pick up the inspiration. I'mma just keep inspiring. But when they do show up, like you in luck if you just found us because guess what? We got a YouTube channel that already got 900 videos on it. Now imagine if I waited till now when things were really picking up momentum to start creating a YouTube. Nah, I'll say man, this one, the last one only got seven likes, but I'm finna make a new one. Last one only got twelve views, but I'm finna make another one. The last one, but now this stuff is catching up. People got all the apples. They—you could turn on our YouTube channel and watch it for the rest of the year, and it wouldn't repeat because I just started making apples. Start making apples. Start making apples. Does that make sense? Start making apples. You apple tree. Now I don't know what your version of apples is. Start doing it, and somebody gonna see it. Somebody gonna go, "This is a good apple." You got some more of these apples? You gonna say, "Oh, absolutely, I do." Follow us over here. It's a lot of apples over here. Follow us over here too. Oh yep, we got some more apples over here. Start making apples. You gotta quit waiting on on the situation to show up. No, who would I be if I already had it? People come around here all the time. Y'all know I'm real big on what we call the twelve dimensions. You know I'm real big on what we call the twelve dimensions. Coach Shay, what's the twelve dimensions? Hold on, I'm gonna show you. The twelve dimensions, guys. I don't care about behavior. It blows my client's mind when they see that I don't care about behavior. I don't. Behavior is the output. There's a lot of things that precede behavior. Okay? So when I'm working with somebody, the questions that I'm asking, I call these the 12 dimensions of identity. I'm gonna work my way around this whole circle. What would you believe if you already had that result? What would you expect if you already had that result? What would your attentional focus look like if you already had that result? What would you pay attention to? What would you completely ignore if you already had that result? What would your emotional baseline look like if, if you already had that result? What would your inner voice be saying? What would, how would you talk to yourself inside of yourself if you already had that result? What would your perspective and worldview be if you already had that result? How would you frame that situation had you already had that result? Would you still hate your stepdad if you already had that result? Would you still be mad at your ex-wife or your ex-husband if you already had that result? Okay. What would your values hierarchy be if you already had that result? What would be priority one? What would be priority two? What would be priority three if you already had that result? How would you be behaving? How quickly would the ideas in your in your mind translate into your fingers and your legs and your body and get it did if you already had the result? Okay. What would be going on inside of your body? Would you still be carrying guilt in your gut if you already had that result? Would you still be carrying stress in your shoulders? Would you still be getting these weird Weird-ass tension headaches if you already had that result? Okay, good. What would be your temporal orientation if you already had the result? How would you exist in time if you already had the result? Would you still spend so much time in the past? Would you spend all this time anxious in the future if you already had the result? Okay, we're gonna start to handle time like that. What— how would you show up relationally if you already had that result? Not just romantically, but in friendship, but, but in parenting, in professional relationship. How would you show up relationally if you already had the result? And what would your identity resilience be if you already had that result? That's how I look at change. Not, Jay, I want to be an amazing public speaker. I'm not going to hypnotize you and say you will walk on stages and speak boldly. Nah. What would you believe if you was already amazing? Tell me some speakers that you admire. Tell me some speakers that you look up to. What do you think they believe? What do you think they focus on when they prepare for a speech? I don't want the result. I want the recipe. And this right here is what I call the recipe, guys. These 12 dimensions of identity is what I call the recipe. I don't want the result, I want the recipe. Imagine you at my house, right? And, um, I give you one of the best slices of cake you ever had. You say, Jay, where you get this cake from? I say, man, my wife made it. You say, oh Jay, can I have another piece? I say, I tell you what, you can have another slice of cake or I can give you the recipe. Which one you want? Put a 1 in the chat if you're gonna say, Coach Jay, I want the cake. Put a 2 in the chat if you say, Coach Jay, I want the recipe. Put a one in the chat if you say Coach Jay. Just give me that the next slice of cake. Put a two in the chat if you say Coach. Forget about that cake. Give me that recipe. Give me the recipe. Too fly. You want the cake? You want that recipe, right? If I give you the cake, you gonna eat that. That's gone. You want the recipe. That's how I look at identity. That's how I look at identity. For sure, enjoy your cake. If it work, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Enjoy your cake. But this is how I look at identity. When I see another content creator and they're doing something that I want to do, they moving in a way that I like, they getting a result that I like, I don't say, man, how do they get their result? I go right to, man, I wonder what they was believing en route to that result. I wonder what they were expecting en route to that result. What were they paying attention to en route to their result? Now I'm gonna hypnotize the hell out of myself, but I'm not gonna hypnotize myself To have the result, I'm gonna hypnotize myself so that all twelve of these things align in a way that gives that result no choice but to show up. We're already talking about cake, so let's keep talking about cake. Like let's say you hired me and you say Coach Jay, I really want you to help me manifest the cake. That's what Coach Jay gonna say. You're not gonna like this. I'm gonna say fuck the cake. You're gonna say the cake? Yeah, fuck the cake. But Coach Jay, I want the cake. I know, and you so distracted by the cake that right now you'll never have it. Forget about the cake for a second. I want you to go manifest a bowl. You gonna say, coach, I don't want a bowl, I want a cake. I'm gonna say, go manifest a bowl, a big one please. You gonna say, coach, I don't want a bowl, I want a cake. I'm gonna say, you trust me? You gonna say, yeah, coach, I come to the live every morning. I'm gonna say, if you trust me, go get a bowl. Here go the dope part. When you decide to go get the bowl, you ain't got to do no affirmations, you ain't got to make no vision board, you ain't got to do no incantations, you ain't got to do none of that. No scripting, no journaling, nothing. You ain't got to wait on the moon to come out or whatever. I don't know, whatever the hell y'all be doing. You don't gotta do none of that. When you decide to come get a bowl, you gonna be gone maybe seven seconds. You gonna say, "Okay, coach, I got the bowl, my guy. Let's go." You say, "Coach, can I have some cake now?" I'm gonna say, "Not quite. I need you to go manifest some flour." You ain't gotta go do no affirmations. You ain't gotta make no vision board. You ain't got. You can you can go grab flour right now. You ain't gotta in no lag time. Even if it ain't none in your kitchen, you know exactly where to go get some flour from. What we gonna do is we going to gather the ingredients. For the cake. Put a 1 in the chat if you with me, because we finna get ready to drive this thing home. We gonna put— we gonna gather the ingredients for the cake. We gonna gather the identity of the cake, okay? We gonna gather the identity of the cake. Then this is where it gets interesting. We gonna stir the identity up. We gonna stir the ingredients up, and we gonna put the ingredients in the oven. We not even gonna make the cake. We gonna put the ingredients in an environment where they have no choice but to become cake. Now, once I put the cake in the oven, once I put the ingredients in the oven, I don't gotta do no affirmations. I don't gotta go print out a picture of cake and put it on a vision board. I don't gotta pray for a cake. I don't gotta ask ChatGPT, um, why isn't my cake here yet? And why, why do they have cake and I don't? I just gotta put the ingredients in an environment where they have no choice but to become cake. And if I put the ingredients in an environment where they have no choice but to become cake, and I leave them there, before too long I will have cake. Now where my bakers at? Where my people who be baking? I don't bake. I barbecue a little bit. I barbecue and I might cook a little breakfast food, but other than that, you're not gonna find me in the kitchen. Where my people at who bake? Yeah, where my— I know we got at least one or two bakers in here. I'm not the baker, I can tell you that. You don't want to eat nothing I bake. But my bakers, this in here. What happens if you— what happens if you open the oven too early while your cake is baking? What happens if you open the oven too early? It will fall. Coach J, why don't I have it yet? Your ass keep opening the oven. Or Some of y'all ain't even open the oven. You haven't even gathered the ingredients and put them in the oven. Coach Jay, why won't my TikTok room grow? Because you won't stop opening the oven. Coach Jay, what oven? You won't stop watching the follower count. You won't stop paying attention to the analytics. You won't stop over— you won't stop opening the oven. Put the shit in the oven and leave the door closed. Put the shit in the oven and leave the door closed. This is another reason I don't like affirmations. I don't like affirmation. You only affirm shit that you don't believe. You have never, never, ever, ever, ever, ever. I don't care if you're 100 years old and 100 years of living. You have never put a cup of water in the freezer and shut the doors and said, "I'm so thankful and grateful that the water is frozen. I'm so thankful and grateful that the water is frozen. Let me go put some ice cubes on my vision board. Let me get my journal and write now that the ice you you ain't never did it. Why? Because you trust the freezer, and you know that you've put the water in an environment where it has no choice but." to become ice. You know that there is no point in affirming because you've put the environments in a— and you put the ingredients in an environment where they have no choice but to become ice. You've never put a pot of water on the stove and said, I'm so thankful and grateful that the water is boiling. I'm so thankful and grateful. You never did it. You know why you never did it? Because you trust the stove to do its job. I want you to start looking at identity I want you to start looking at these 12 things. Can you have the money right now? No, but you can go grab the belief architecture right now. You can grab the expectation pack right now. You can have the intentional focus right now. Come, come spend 60 days with Coach Jay. You ain't got to spend 60. Come spend 30 days with Coach Jay and we'll line it— line that identity up. Like, you gotta understand, God didn't give things dominion over you. God gave Gave you dominion over things. God did not give things dominion over you. God gave you dominion over things. Why are you chasing things that you have dominion over? Why are you chasing things that you have dominion over? Imagine, imagine how you would feel if you bought your child a dog. Let's say you bought your son a dog, right? And one day you look in the backyard and the dog is walking up on his hind legs and it got the leash in its mouth and a collar around your baby's neck, and you see the dog walking your baby around the backyard, how would you feel? I don't know about you, that dog gotta get the— that dog ain't get to help out my house. That dog gotta go. I ain't a dog person to begin with, but this dog really gotta go, man. How would you feel if you saw the dog that you bought for your baby walking your dog? I mean, walking your baby. That's what it looked like when you following a bank account. You shouldn't be following a bank account. A bank account should be following you. You shouldn't be following your credit report. Your credit report is supposed to be following you. You shouldn't be following that number. At the top of your of your lot, that number should be following you. And when you following the number, you look like that Spider-Man, that Spider-Man mean y'all pointing at each other because what you got to understand is that everything out there has always been a reflection of you. I can look at the bank account and I can I can guess what you've been thinking about, what you've been focusing on, what you've been believing, what you've been expecting. I can look at the number on the scale and I can tell what you've been believing, what you've been expecting, what you've been paying attention to. You don't got to change the number on the scale. You got to change what's going on in here. You don't got to change the bank balance. You got to change what's going on in here. You don't got to change the TikTok following. You got to change what's going on in here. Put a 1 in the chat if it makes sense. Put a 2 in the chat if you saying, Coach Jay, get out my business. But hey, this is how change happens. Change does not happen outside of you. Change happens inside of you. People who come around here all the time, y'all know I'm real big on this concept that I call inside out. Real confidence is built from the inside out. Real self-esteem is built from the inside out. A real entrepreneur is built from the inside out. Be, do, have. This is why I'm not a fan of willpower. If you come here, you know it's three things that it's three things that I'm I'm not gonna say they never important, but it's three things that if you're relying on these things as the center of your of your practice, as the center of your self-development practice, I'm not surprised that you fail. Okay, and those three things are willpower, affirmations, and motivation. If those three things are the engine that's driving your success, I'm not surprised that you struggle. Let's talk about willpower. First off, you only need willpower when you're going against who you be. You only need willpower when you're going against who you be. Think about it. When you be angry, when you be angry, check me out. Hold on. Let me let me pull this back up. Look, because we finna bring this all full circle. I gotta keep an eye on time. I gotta get out of here in a second. When you be angry, when you believe in what angry people believe, when you expecting what angry people expect, when you paying attention to what angry people pay attention to, you don't need willpower to stomp your feet. You need willpower not to stomp your feet. You don't need willpower to slam the damn door. You need willpower not to slam the door. You don't need willpower to raise your voice. You need willpower to lower your voice. When you be angry, you don't need willpower to do angry. When you be hungry, you don't need willpower to go eat. When you be sleepy, you don't need no willpower to go to sleep. Just be still. Watch what happens when you be successful. You don't need willpower to read books that successful people read. You don't need willpower to listen to podcasts that successful people listen to. You don't need willpower to work on your business plan. Now, when you be a failure, when you be the person that things never work work out for. When you be poor me and I've been through this horrible— when you being there, yeah, you need a lot of willpower. But you only need willpower when you going against who you be. How do you go live every morning? How do you make yourself go live? Make myself go live? It's nothing else I would rather be doing. I don't use willpower to go live. It's a voice going on inside of my head that want to get on here and spread this message. It's feelings in my body that want to get on here and spread this message. You got to realize, real high performers, Real go-getters, they don't run off of willpower. Real high performers, real go-getters, they don't run off of willpower. You outta your mind if you think that Kobe Bryant was running off of willpower. You are outta your mind if you think that Kobe Bryant was running off of willpower. Kobe Bryant wasn't running off of willpower. He had an identity that kicked him into gear. Like he wasn't using willpower to get outta his bed at 4:00 AM. He had an identity to where staying in bed felt like self- Katie, you see that difference? He wasn't using willpower to get out of bed. He had an identity to where staying in bed felt like suffocating. Put a 1 in the chat if that just woke something up in you. Talk to me. That hit home, didn't it? How do I make myself— no, make— why would you make yourself No. Who do I need to become so that I accidentally do that type of stuff? Like people— Jay, well, they said take 21 days to make a habit. Let me tell you what's gonna happen if you spend 21 days to force yourself going— 21 days forcing yourself to go to the gym. You gonna get good at forcing yourself to go to the gym, but that's not what you want. You just built the habit of forcing yourself to go to the gym. Okay, I know how to force myself to go to the gym now. That wasn't the goal. People who enjoy going to the gym, what do they believe? What do they expect? What's their self-image? How do they describe themselves? We gonna get at the identity level. We gonna get at the identity level. Not every day do I want to do the things, but that— but you don't start at the level of doing, you start at the level of being. So it's be, do, have. Be, do, have. Your being produces your doing, your doing produces your having. So you gotta look at being like the great-grandfather. You look at doing like the father. I mean, you look at being like the grandfather. You look at doing as the father, and you look at having as the son. People trying to get the father and the son, and they skipping the grandfather. Who am I being? Who am I being? Okay, when I was being a boxer, I would accidentally spend six hours a day in the gym. My friends were at the gym. My male role models was at the gym. The people that I wanted to hear was at the smells that I had grew accustomed to smelling. At the gym, the sounds that I— that, that, that jump rope sounds, the speed bag, the sounds that I wanted to hear were at the gym. I didn't have to use willpower to go to the gym. I wanted to go to the gym. Me and my wife used to have so many fights. You a married man with children, why do you think you can spend 6 hours a day at the gym? I don't know, baby, but I'll talk about it when I get back from the gym. I used to be a real asshole. But does that make sense? When my identity was boxer, I would go to the gym. Now, as my identity grew into girl dad, I didn't have to use willpower to take my daughter to the baby. Just come to the gym with me. As my daughter got like bigger and started walking and talking and her person out, baby, you can come to the gym with daddy. I'm finna go running. Let me get on Amazon and buy you a jogging stroller. Okay. Then as I got into this identity of hey man, I'm too old. For my marriage to be looking like it looking, this like this. And and as I started to get under the identity of successful entrepreneur and and good husband, my I didn't have to use willpower to go to the gym at this point. If I want to go to the gym, especially the way that I used to go to the gym, I'm gonna have to use some willpower to go to the gym. I used to go to the gym, or I'm gonna have to build me a new identity. Does that make sense? I'm never looking at behavior. I'm never looking at that. If somebody say, Jay, can you hypnotize me to quit smoking? I don't look at it as making them quit smoke. I look at it as, okay, I got to change what you believe about cigarettes. I got to change what you expect about cigarettes. I got to change the tell— change the story that you tell yourself about cigarettes. I'm getting ready to do a quit smoking session in like 2 hours or 3 hours. I'm not gonna make her quit smoking. I'm finna change her internal representation of cigarettes. Does that make sense? I'm gonna change the images to show up in her mind when she think tent cigarettes. I'm gonna change the feelings that come into her body when she think about a cigarette. As those new thoughts, those new images, those new expectations, as those new stories show up, she gonna accidentally say, why would I do that? Why would I do that? That's the work. Identity, identity, identity, identity, identity. If you someone who you tried the affirmations, you tried the vision boards, the incantations, all of that silly stuff, and it's not working, and you ready to do what works? Identity, identity, identity, identity. I meet a lot of people; they come in, and the belief architecture is through the roof. They believe it, and I can tell you've been doing your affirmations, but it only touches like a sliver of identity. Identity is not just a vague idea of how you. How you see yourself. Identity is all 12 of those dimensions working together. How do you change your identity to be— first thing you got to do, Robert, is you got to get crystal clear about what you want. Not what they've marketed to you, not what culture says you should want, not a good dad or a good mom or a good husband would do this. You got to figure out what do you want. Okay. And then as we figure out what we want, and you got to be careful Careful as we figure out what do— what you want. You got to be careful as you figure out what you want because most of the times people confuse knowing what they don't want as knowing what they want. Most of the time that the visuals are behind audio and the live is lagging. I thought it was lagging on my end, but now nobody ain't say nothing. But apparently it's good enough, it's working. But, um, once you figure out what you want, not what what society says you should want, not what they think you should— what you actually want. You got to figure out how would I feel if I had it? How would I believe if I had it? How would I expect if I had it? Then you start to work all 12 of those dimensions in that order. Now if you want to come work, working with Coach Jay, you gotta understand this is where Coach Jay really nerds out at. I love, I love identity so much that the name of my practice is literally Identity 2.0. No. So when I start to work on identity with somebody, this is how I approach identity. This is how I'm approaching identity. I get— they're going to get on a call with me, and on that call we're going to look at— so I have them take something called an identity diagnostic. Identity diagnostic costs you $99, take you about 30 minutes to take. I had them take something called an identity diagnostic, and they give me 2 or 2 days or so to Yeah. And I'm able to reverse engineer their identity and to see what's going on. And we get on the call and we talk about their identity. So this particular person, the engine runs, but nothing is pulling it. This is a person, when they first reached out to me, they say, Coach, I'm lazy. I just lay in bed all day and I do things that I know don't serve me and I just don't know how to shake it. I said, okay, cool. Take an identity diagnostic. Identity came back at 56%. Now, as I look at identity, I'm always looking for something that I call a contradiction, the core contradiction. When people need my help, there's always a contradiction. I feel like I think I can do it, but I don't feel like I can do it. Do it. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. Or I can, but when certain people in the room, I don't have access to my confidence. There's this internal civil war. They think that they're fighting the people out there, and whole time they fighting there. They got this internal civil war. Hold on a second, this has— let me fix something on here real quick. Let me see, where is it? Where is I remember turning it on and now I gotta remember how to turn it off. Okay, there it is. Oh, all right, there we go. So this person, somatic identity was 83%, behavior responses were 77%. One thing I could tell you is somebody who has studied identity for the last 20 years, that's not a lazy person. They're— they are in their body. Their behavior response is willing. It's not perfect, but at 77%, it is capable. So I told this person, you fully inhabit the person you are right now, and your action system runs directed and aligned with you, with what you actually value. When your subconscious fires a behavior, it is not fighting you. This is the platform that the work is built on, and it is the reason your plan is 8 sessions instead of 12. This isn't broken. This is not a lazy person. His problem is there's no destination wired to it. His temporal orientation was 23%, which means he has no bridge built to his future self. His future feels so far away that it's kind of like, what's the point? And his inner voice is at 40%, the way that he talks to himself. This is his problem. So what a person in this situation would typically do is they'll use more willpower, they'll buy a planner, they'll be harder on theirself, they'll set alarms, they'll go work with a coach and, um, a person who, um, keeps them an accountability partner. They would work with that. But that's not the problem. Your problem is you don't have a goal that you are excited about sitting in front of you. Okay? So behavior at 77% is not the problem. Nothing is pulling on it. This is his problem. Nothing is pulling on it. The potential is there. The energy is there. The readiness, the desire to do it is there. That's why he's sitting in my office, cuz he want to get out there and take action, but he don't understand that he's missing temporal orientation and inner voice. So we look at all 12 of its dimensions. Your temporal orientation is at 23%. This is what that means. Your inner voice is at 40%. This is what that means. Emotional baseline at 43%. This is what that means. Expectation patterns 43%. This is what that means. We go through every single one of these 12 dimensions. Now, when people talk about identity, most people are talking about this vague concept of how you view yourself. Whenever I talk about identity, know that I'm talking about all 12 I'm talking about all 12 of these, okay? All 12 of them. So we talk about it, and then we do his handwriting analysis. As I looked at his handwriting, I saw that his lower zone barely develops. When we talk about lower zone, we're talking about the loops on like the lowercase y and the lowercase g, uh, the q, and those things that extend into the lower register of the page. His lower zones were restricted. That means that there is no action, there is no force pushing through foot behavior. And if we look at the letter F, it'll give me even more information about that. A goal statement never claimed. As I looked at his writing, I saw that his goal statement was in the first person, near vertical slant, close letters. That's a person whose inner voice is kind of critical. But, and I don't, I don't tell people everything I see in the, in the handwriting diagnostic because some of it I keep for myself because I want to see if it changes on accident as we do our work. But that was what I saw in his handwriting. And then we get into his session plan. First thing we're gonna do is fix his attentional architecture. Now I want y'all to pay attention. I want you to notice when behavior comes up in his life, most people try to start with the behavior. No, I'm gonna fix his attention first. Update the subconscious attention default so focus stops being pulled away from sustained tasks. This session exists first because every other session after it depends on the subconscious holding attention. Most people would try to like, we got to change behavior. Not yet. Not if you want it to work. Not if you want it to hold. Not if you want him to do more than feel good for 2 or 3 days and slowly revert back to him, to his old self. No, you don't. We're going to fix his attentional focus first. Then we're going to fix his emotional floor first. Then we're going to fix his belief architecture. Because it's at 47%. Then we're gonna change the way that he talks to himself. We're gonna get his inner voice back online. Then we're gonna build a temporal bridge. Then we're gonna build expectation architecture. Then we're gonna make sure that it holds structurally. And in this future pace, that's when we're gonna talk about behavior. Because what you gotta understand is his behavior was never broken. His behavior is one of the only three things that's solid in his identity. He doesn't need to come sit with Coach J and talk about his behavior. Why are we talking about behavior when his belief architecture is at 47%? When his expectation patterns are at 43%? When his inner voice is at 40%? When his temporal orientation is at 23%? And that's where most people screw it up. This is not a problem that affirmations will fix. This you can make vision boards till the cows come home. This is not a vision board problem, but this is how we approach identity. Does this make sense, guys? Identity, identity, identity. Anybody who wants to take an identity diagnostic, reach out to me. I'll let you know where to get one. If you on TikTok, you can click that little orange button down there to the to the left. TikTok don't like when I just give y'all links. They get upset at me. They get upset at me. But um, if you inbox me on TikTok, I'll send you. I'll send it to you where you could purchase you an identity diagnostic. They're ninety nine bucks. Take you about thirty minutes to take, and you jump on Zoom with me anywhere from forty five minutes to an hour. We break down your identity, break down what needs to change, and we get you moving in the right direction. Anybody got any questions? Let me pull the chat up. The chat been off screen for a minute here. Let me get it where I can see it. Give me a second. Give me a second. Move this out of my way. Have to run for now. Thank you for your time. For sure. Oh, take the diagnosis, it's gonna change things. Hey, all is going good, Lucky. So are the bleefs the bowls in the recipe? They can be. It depends on the person. I guess a bleef would be the container that holds everything else. But they all play an intricate part. Like when you look in our system, I got hundreds of identity diagnostics and all of them are unique in their very own way. You'll meet some people whose belief architecture is at 100%, but it don't matter if your belief architecture is at 100%, if your internal dialogue is 20, because the beliefs got to pass through the filter of how you talk to yourself. So they all work in such a like intricate, interesting way. Yep, yep, yep. But I'm about to get ready to land. Let me check over here on my, my YouTube people, make sure y'all good. But yeah, Robert, you change identity by first off understanding it's not a behavior problem, it's, it's an identity problem, and you acknowledge that. And it starts with figuring out which one of your identity, which one of those 12 dimensions are critical What is the bottleneck in the system and what's the contradiction? Like, because your beliefs could be here, but your expectation patterns could be here. That's going to create a system where I believe I could do it, but I don't feel like I could do it. Or I think I could do it, but I don't— I think I can, but I don't feel like I can. I know I've been at this company for 12 years and I run this company. The boss hasn't been here in months. I run this company. I should be able to go out and do this on my own. Like, that makes sense to me, but I don't feel like it'll work. We got, we got some identity work to do. How much is each session after the diagnostic? It depends, Robert. We got 3 different packages that we offer. It depends on how much time you need to spend with me. And do you got one— I didn't— one dimension out of whack, or do you got something across from me? So right now it's like asking me how long is a piece of string. Like, I, I don't— I gotta see the string. I don't know. So all the bleed— okay, I read that already. Okay, cool, I'm caught up on all the comments. All right, I'll figure to get out of here in a bit. Anybody got any questions before we get out of here? TikTok, we only got 8,000 taps today. I'm expecting more tomorrow, I ain't gonna lie to y'all. I feel like a disappointed dad right now. I feel like a disappointed dad right now. We only got 8,000 taps. Come on now. I'm not disappointed. All right, all right, all right, all right. Anybody ready to grab an identity diagnostic? Put a 1 in the chat so I can be keeping a lookout on you before I get into session mode and make sure you get your login credentials. I'm ready. Is that another decision on point of major? Yeah, man, they go crazy. I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you. All right, give me a second. I'm trying to keep an eye on all these different chats. I should have hooked up a second monitor, but I was so ready to talk to y'all that I just said forget it, we'll figure it out. All right, so look, love y'all, ain't nothing y'all could do to it. Oh, I can add things to the BarraCast. I ain't know I could do that. Let me see that. I ain't know I could do that. That's cold. I gotta start playing with this stuff. I gotta start playing with this stuff. I ain't know I could do that. Yeah, that's lit. That's lit. That's lit. All right, y'all, love y'all. Ain't nothing y'all can do about it. Anybody ready to grab an identity diagnostic, you go to iCoach bosses.com. Anybody who does grab an identity diagnostic today, I gotta, I got a treat for you. I got some new stuff that I ain't even pushed out yet. Sound is out. Let me see. Can y'all hear me over here on TikTok? Testing, testing. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3. Okay, it's working over here. I'm figuring it is laying anyway, so I guess it don't really matter. I guess it don't really matter. We'll figure it out next time around. All right, guys, I'mma see y'all later. I'm landing Finnish.