Jay Shaw coaches on the difference between not wanting bad outcomes and actually wanting good ones, then walks through his 5C framework: Clarity, Calibration, Confidence, Competence, Consistency. He charges $375 for a 2-hour session and addresses chat questions on social anxiety, parenting, and business.
Chapters
What's good? What's good? What's good? Welcome to the live. Welcome to the live. Tap in. This is a live for winners. This live not for everybody, man. If you, if you not a winner, just keep strolling. If you don't desire to be a winner, keep strolling. One of the things we gonna really unpack today is not wanting to lose. It's not the same thing as wanting to win. And wanting to win is not the same thing as having a burning desire to win. What's going on hormonally, neurologically, they look completely different. It is really levels to winning, and that's what we're gonna get into today, man. What's up, Patricia? What's up, Sherman? What's up, '80s? That's what we're gonna be talking today. Not wanting to lose is not the same thing as wanting to win. What's up? And wanting to win is not the same thing as having a burning desire to win. On the surface, you might say, man, Jay, you just playing with words. You just, you, you just nitpicking. Hormonally and neurologically, they look completely different. What's going on, YP? What's up, Real? What's up, Jazz? So we, we gonna slow down a little bit, give people time to go live. I mean, give people time to go live, give people time to get in here. But that's the discussion that we getting ready to have today. So if you're a winner, hang around, get comfortable. If you're a loser, keep it moving. This live not gonna sit right with you. It's gonna aggravate your spirit. And the last thing I want to do is start your day off aggravating your spirit. So if you're a loser, do yourself a favor and just just keep strolling. Appreciate the tell, Sadie. What's going on, love? How you doing? Welcome to welcome to the room. Yeah, that's our subject matter this morning. Take some notes. This this Thought woke me up out of my sleep. I'm not even scheduled to go live until 10 a.m. It's 6:16. This thought sat me up in my bed. I was dreaming this thought, and it was so good. It was so delicious. I woke up and washed my face and went live. I was in bed 10 minutes ago, and I said, "Oh wow, that's good. That's good." So I had to get on here and and share, and I'm still unpacking this thought. during the live. So man, this is, this is so delicious though. It's so delicious I wanted to unpack it on live. What's up, C? How y'all doing this morning? What's up, Miss Lady Big Draws? That's an interesting name. How you doing? But yeah, that's what we chewing on this morning. Wanting to win is not the same thing as not wanting to lose. That's interesting, huh, ? And having a burning desire to win is not the same thing as wanting to win. That's what got me out of the bed because I was originally like, you know what, I'm gonna just talk about that at 10. Like, I'm gonna talk about that on the 10 o'clock live. Then the idea was like, yo, are you being— because last night I did a manifestation of falling to— I practice what I tell y'all all the time, falling asleep in the mindset of the man I desire desire to be, falling asleep in the mindset of the coach I desire to be, falling asleep in the mindset of the father I desire to be, falling asleep in the mindset of the streamer and the presenter that I desire to be. So I fell asleep last night in this really powerful state. And one of the things that I've been battling with— oh, we getting vulnerable this morning— one of the things that I've been really battling with is when I study the analytics and I study the data, all the data points to going live at 6:00 AM. My lifestyle and the time that I want to go to bed and the time that I want to roll in my day don't don't align with six a.m. But so this morning when this thought woke me up out of my sleep to go live, one of the things that was in the Mike Bruin subconsciously was um if it was for the ten a.m. live, I would have gave it to you at nine thirty. I gave it to you at I gave it to you at 6:00 AM for a reason. And I had to ask myself, was I wanting to be this great speaker? Was I wanting to be this great speaker? Or was I being this great speaker? And right then, being this great speaker, being this great coach, being that person that I was being when I fell asleep looked like rolling my ass up out of the bed and coming on live right now. So that's what we did. And I think this is quickly going to become one of my Mantras throughout the day when it's time to go to the gym and it's other stuff that I'd rather do. Look, look, am I wanting to be sexy or am I being sexy? Because being sexy right now looks like putting my tennis shoes on, getting in the car, and getting to the gym. Wanting to be sexy looks like watching Netflix and eating Cheetos. So am I wanting to be sexy or am I being sexy? Am I wanting to be a good father or am I being a good father? So that's what we're going to talk about today. That's what we're going to unpack. And man, it juked me out of the bed quicker than any affirmation would have. Now, everybody's neurology and motivation patterns are lined up different. You got some people that are what we call X-type motivated. Those are people who are running from something. I don't want to get fired. I don't want to be homeless. So I'm going to go to work. And you got people who are Y-type motivated. I want that corner office. I want to be in charge. I want those extra zeros on the paycheck. So I'm going to work. What's going on, cousin? What's up? What's up? How you feeling? What's up, Trey? But yeah, man, and now that I'm up— and this is the crazy thing about it— now that I'm up and I'm in that state of being, oh man, the shit is taking care of itself. Like, now, like, getting out of bed was, was hard because I was laying down, I was comfortable, I was being comfortable. But now that I'm up, being comfortable looks like keeping doing what I'm doing. I love the head, cousin. I'm gonna hit you up later. Like, like, you see what I'm saying? Who wants to— because we've all had times when we didn't want to get out of the bed, right? Because we in the bed and we comfortable. But you also had times where you knew you had to get up early, but you was maybe out hanging with friends, or you was watching a show. And when you was in the comfort of watching the show, when you was in the comfort of, of, um, hanging out with friends, then you didn't want to go to bed. You, you see what I'm saying? Like, when you get in the flow of something It's hard to stop it. So it's natural to not want to get out of bed when you in the bed, just like it's natural to not want to go to bed when you caught up in something else. But that's that's what we finna talk about right now. Let me slow down a little bit, give people time to get in here. I need you guys to tap the screen. I need you guys to shut a lie, man. I'm loving this thought. I want some pimp. Where my iPad? It's around here. Somewhere it might be in the car. Nope, here it is. Boom, boom. Let's see. And we got some battery. Yes, sir. I don't want to write because I'm gonna end up forgetting that I'm on live and it's gonna turn into an independent study session. But that's what we talking about this morning. What's going on, Britt? How you doing? Welcome to the live. Welcome to the live. Welcome to the live. But but is what I'm saying? What's these posters about? So that's what we call. So when I made these posters, it was four C's: clarity, consistency, competence, and um which one didn't I say? Clarity, confidence, competence, and consistency. But now we got five C's. We added calibration. But that's my success formula behind me. You can't get what you want till you know what you want. That's clarity. And after you get clarity, you got to calibrate to the clarity. What's going on, Coach T? And it's dope because 5C ties directly into what we talking about today. Now that you calibrate, you got to remain in that calibration even when you see stuff out there you don't like. That's what we call confidence. And then from that place, you get the competence. And then consistency is the glue that holds all of it together. You keep running those. Welcome to the live, Mo. Thanks for the follow. What's up, Kimberly? So I see a few new names in here. Let me, let me bring y'all up to speed of what we talking about today. Today we talking about not wanting to lose is not the same thing as wanting to win, and wanting to win is not the same thing as being a winner. Like when you look at, uh, Michael Jordan, Michael Jordan didn't want to win. Michael Jordan was a winner. Kobe Bryant didn't want to win. Kobe Bryant was a winner. You see what I'm saying? You know people in your life, they don't want to go to the gym. They, they are gym rats. They are people who go to the gym, like, you know what I'm saying? So my question that I'm posing to people today, do you want it or are you being it? Because wanting it, neurologically speaking, looks completely different than, than being it. What did Pinocchio— oh, that's a good one. What did Pinocchio want more than anything in the world? Clarity, calibration, competence, consistency. And what are you missing? Clarity, clarity, calibration. You missing, um, clarity, calibration. You missing confidence. What did Pinocchio want more than anything in the world? What did, what did he want? Yeah, it ain't no such thing. To your subconscious mind, ain't no such thing as next summer. to be a real boy, you feel? He, he had, he had the fingers, he had the toes, he had the nose, he had the eye. He, he looked like a boy, but he— the reason he wanted to be a boy is because he wasn't one. You, you see what I'm saying? So what is your goal? Do you want to be an entrepreneur, or are you being an entrepreneur? Do you want to be 50 pounds lighter, or are you being being 50 pounds lighter. And then one of these other real important nuances that we can't overlook is— oh man, this is good on so many levels. I'm gonna unpack this for real because I could, I could write a whole book about what we talking about. A real boy. A real boy.
Yeah.
Okay, so we gotta understand that Not wanting something is not the same thing as as wanting something. This is the reason a lot of people affirmations don't work because their affirmation is not rooted in rooted in the being; it's rooted in the thing that they don't want to be. You gotta understand that wanting to be rich is not the same thing as not wanting to be poor. Because when you don't want to be poor, neurologically you're far— you're firing up the neural pathways that represent poverty. Hormonally, you're releasing the stress hormones that represent poverty. So you could be affirming with your mouth, I am a millionaire, but even though your mouth is saying I am a millionaire, if neurologically and hormonally you manifest in lack, those hormones, those neuropeptides, like the neurochemicals in that chemical cocktail that you cooking up— what's up, Ken— is always going to outweigh what you say. The, the universe, source, God has consciousness. God is consciousness. Okay, so your spouse has consciousness, right? And imagine I say, okay baby, I love you. Fuck, like, jeez, I said I love you, but neurologically and hormonally, what was going on there? Baby, I love you. Like, what, what? I love you. I said I love you, but neurologically and hormonally, what was the affirmation? Because the baby, I love you was rooted in wanting to be left alone. It was rooted in let me tell her what she need to hear so she can leave me alone. Let me just say it. Do you think she do you think she picked up on it? What's up, Porto? What's up, Ike?
Ippy.
You see what I'm saying? So a lot of people be in the bathroom. I am confident. I, I could do anything. I am love. But hormonally and neurologically, I'm unconfident. I can't do anything right. I, I screw up everything. Opportunities never work for me. So we got to take care of the root. We got to realize that wanting to be happy is not the same thing as being happy. So when we get into like a biofeedback sense, there's only like six states of being. I wish I had a whiteboard or something up. I got a whiteboard; it's not mounted. There's only six states of being. You can break them down in all these subcategories, but between like the chemicals you release and rather you in a state of high arousal or low arousal, there's there's this circle. There's about six different places that are the major points on this circle. Now it's a circle, so it got all types of other points, but the 6 major states of being happen internally. Like, when people think about states of being and states of having, they think about the physical possession of something. Your state of being has very little to do with your physical possession, because I can be in a state of having water Physical, like I physically have the water, but neurologically I could be in a state of what if I spill it? What if I waste it? What if that guy comes over here and takes it? What if I drink it all? What if, what if, what if? Even though I physically have it, neurologically and hormonally I can be absent of it. Because what if I told you if you have the capability to hear this live right now, if you can access my voice right now, you already rich, you already abundant. That iPhone wasn't cheap. That data that's going through that phone wasn't free. The amount of technology that you hold in your hand gives you access. You have ears that work. You have eyes that work. You have a nervous system that's up and spinning. If you black like me, you got this thing called melanin. You already rich. Now, rather you gonna step into that state of being is a decision only you can make. Your pastor can't push you into that state of being. Your therapist can't therapize you into that state of being. Your spouse can't love you into that state of being. Only you can decide to step into that state of being. Are you gonna make that decision? Now, one of the things I said when I first went on the live, if you're a winner, hang out with us. If you're a loser, keep, keep streaming. This stream not for you. It's gonna aggravate you at a cellular molecular level. What's going on, um, Merritt? Yeah, if, if this not for you, it's not for you, and I'm not gonna force it to be for you, and I'm not gonna water it down to make it for you. This just ain't the live for you. Come back around 10 AM, I might be in the, in the mood to like pacify you a little bit, but right now I'm not. Not wanting something is not the same thing as wanting something, right? And wanting something is not the same thing as being something. Now, wanting it is better than not wanting whatever you don't want. But if you really want to get it, I need you to be it right here, right now. That's why they tell you don't put affirmations in the past tense. Not I will be happy. I am happy. Because I will be implies that it's not happening right now. I don't want to be something that I already am. How would I want to be rich if I'm already rich? Now I might want to step more into my richness. I might want to unpack more of it, but I can't want something that I already have. To want is to confess that I don't have. What's going on, Top Shelf Dopamine Sub? Every time you come here, I have to say your whole name because part of me a little aggravated that I didn't come up with it, but I'm happy that somebody came up with it because it was out here. But that's, that's dope. I wish I would have been the vessel that that flowed through, but I ain't gonna hate on you. That's, that's a dope name. I love that name.
I love you.
You need some merch. You need some t-shirts because I would buy— I would buy them in all colors. Not the all colors, but the ones that I know I look good in. I, I would buy them. You need some shirts. Top shelf dopamine seller. Can I be one of your subcontractors? What's going on, Asia? How you doing? Yeah, let me be one of your contractors. I want to sell some of this dopamine. I want to sell some oxytocin. I want to sell some DHEA. What's up? Rush in the building. How you doing, Asia? How you doing, Max? I'm doing amazing. I'm doing amazing now that I stepped in this state of being. When I was in bed and I was wanting to go live, oh man, I didn't have this type of energy. But when I got up and was being— got in the being, it just flows. The shirt idea been in your mind? That's, that's the confirmation. It's time to— man, listen, you, you can start selling shirts with no money out of your pocket. You can get on Canva, make you a design. It's all type of websites that'll put it on the shirt, mail it to the people when they order it. You ain't got to spend a dollar today and you can sell some shirts. Like, go, go be, go be it, go, go be it. But, um, let me reset. I see we got a few new people in here. So what we talking about right now? And guys, I want you to ask questions. I want you to push back. I want us to I want us to have a discourse. I want us to have a back and forth. That's your mission for the day. I love it. Oh yeah, a 5, right? I know all my colors. I want a burgundy one. I want like a hunter green one. I want a white one. I want a black one. But yeah, gold depending on— yeah. What's the topic? You new here? All right, Miss Sad. So the topic is Not wanting something is not the same thing as wanting something. Wanting to be rich is not the same thing as not wanting to be poor. Wanting to be fit, wanting to be healthy is not the same thing as not wanting to be sick, not wanting to be overweight. Wanting and not wanting looks different neurologically and hormonally. Now that's level one to what we talking about. Level two to what we talking about. Is wanting and being are also two different things. It's not enough to want to be a successful entrepreneur. What are the six states of being? So we can boil the six states of being down to where is my iPad? I got a graph that I can have this discussion with it to make it a little bit easier to hold. Give me a second. Let's see, where is the notes for— y'all got me sneaking into a seminar that I got coming up. Give me a second, cuz this is some of what I'mma really be unpacking on day 1 of the Dreams in Action seminar. Give me a second. Where did I say— what did I save that— those notes under? I saved them Under. Here we go. All right, I'm probably gonna have to mirror image this. Give me a second. Mirror your video. All right, y'all can read this. So y'all getting a sneak peek. I'm teaching a seminar on May 24th, 25th, and 26th, and this is some of the stuff we're going to be talking about. These 6 states of being. Now, these 6 states of being— state of being number 1 is a state of high arousal, unpleasant feeling. So when you look at this diagram up here, the up and down axis is the arousal. So up here we got high arousal, pretty much fight or flight. Down here we got low arousal. I'm trying to— this is Miriam, just confusing the hell out of me. Now here we got low arousal, which is in your parasympathetic nervous system. So up here we got sympathetic nervous system, down here we got parasympathetic nervous system. Now your sympathetic nervous system, that's fight or flight, that's high stress, high alert, it's survival. It's not thrival, it's survival. I like that thrival, but it's survival. Now you got low arousal. Low arousal is, um, your parasympathetic nervous system. That's rest and digest. That's the lion laying down, stretching out after he finished chasing the gazelle. It's already— it's where healing happens. It's where creativity happens. It's where you start aging backwards. That high arousal system will age you in double time. But that's the arousal. Then left to right, we got hormone. We got positive hormones and we got negative hormones. We got things on the positive end like DHEA, which also causes you to age backwards. Then on the On the negative hormonal side, we got cortisol. And hanging out over there, um, it takes a hit on your memory, it takes a hit on your immune system, it takes a hit on you as a whole. We're getting a little nerdy this morning. I usually don't take it this nerdy in the lives, but hell, if y'all want to go, let's go. So state number 1 is high arousal, unpleasant chemistry. So high arousal, unpleasant chemistry. That's right over here. What most people call anger, anxiety. High arousal, negative chemistry. I'm amped up and I feel bad. I want to fight. I want to destroy things. I want to, I want to get hands on. I'm active. I got all of this energy, right? Does that make sense? High arousal. I mean, high arousal, negative chemistry. Okay, now I can also have Let's go to state number 2. And these states aren't in any order. It's just the order was flowing to me as I was laying this thing out. Now, state number 2 is low arousal, unpleasant feeling. Now, I could be in a state of— this mirror image is whooping my ass. I could be in a state of low arousal and negative chemistry. That's apathy. That's sadness.
Depression, grief.
The energy isn't there. I don't want to do anything, but I'm also in a state of very negative chemistry. Makes sense. That's a state of being. Now, it's a lot of sub-things that we put in that category, but the state of being is low arousal, negative chemistry. Makes sense. Now, when we get into number 3, Where we at? Number 3, we got high arousal, pleasant feeling. So I could be in a state of high arousal. Let me see, I lost my page. We gonna get some printouts and a board that's behind me. I'mma print this out real big. I might go to Office Depot to somewhere today and print this out real big. Okay, so I could be in the state of— what was number 3? High arousal, pleasant feeling. So high arousal, but I'm least in positive chemistry. Now that's love, that's appreciation. I'm happy with where I'm at, I'm content, I'm not trying to change anything. I'm not aroused. This is the magic spot. This is where I want to put you when you come in for a hypnosis session. I want you at neutral arousal. I don't want you down. A lot of people go, I don't think it worked, I heard everything you said. I don't kill you. I don't— like, if you can't hear, if you can't feel, if you can't do anything, that's called death. You didn't pay me to kill you. You paid me to take you out of high arousal and out of negative chemistry and put you in a place where you can hear me and make change. I know you can hear me. I want you to hear me. In fact, if you fall asleep during the hypnosis session, I'm going to wake you up. Like I've had, like bro, you sleep? Hey, wake up! Because I want that bridge between the conscious and the subconscious. I wanted to take your conscious desires and make them subconscious desires. So just listen. I think I missed something. What what what happened? Just listen to what. But yeah, definitely just listen. Can you hypnotize somebody online? Oh, definitely. I spent all 2020 hypnotizing people online. If you are interested, you can click on the link in the bio and we can get you a consultation and talk in deep detail about exactly what that looks like. But definitely, I can handle any questions you got in here too that you're comfortable asking in front of the group. So when we get down into state number 4, we got low arousal, pleasant feeling. Now here we got low arousal But we got positive chemistry. That's contentment. That's serenity. That's that deep meditative state. I'm not aroused, but the chemistry that I'm releasing is very positive. Makes sense. Now, number 5, we got medium arousal, unpleasant feeling. So that's over here. That's frustration. I'm not mad enough to get up and do anything about it because I'm not high arousal, but I am releasing negative chemistry. Makes sense. Then we got the sixth state of being, which is medium arousal, pleasant feeling. Now that's where we're over here. Medium arousal, right here in the middle on the arousal, but it's very positive. Yeah, it's it's on a simmer, not not a ball. But those are your six states of being. Now happiness, excitement, motivated, and all of those different things fall within those six states. of being. But the thing that you got to understand about those 6 states of being is they're created by your neurological and your hormonal systems. They're not created by your bank account. Now, you can look at your bank account and decide where you want to sit on that circle. It's not decided by whether you're in a relationship or out of a relationship. Now, you can take note of the status of your relationship and then neurologically and hormonally relocate yourself on that circle. But being Single doesn't pick your spot on the circle. Being poor doesn't pick your spot on the circle. Not getting that promotion doesn't pick your spot on the circle. As humans, and I'm glad I opened up with this, this is not a lie for everybody. Some people not ready to hear these truths. As humans, we got a lot more control over how we feel than it feels comfortable to admit. It's so much more comfortable to blame it on my ex-husband, on my ex-wife. It's so much more comfortable to blame it on my boss. It's so much more comfortable to blame it on the devil. Oh, the devil busy. No, you not busy.
That—
oh, that's— it's not so much that the devil busy, it's that you not busy. Can I give you an example of what exactly? Um, Tiffy, bro, when people start talking about the devil busy, that's always the first thought. Yeah, is the devil busy, or are you in a state of wanting and not in a state of being? Yeah, y'all track it with me. Is what we saying making sense this morning? Not wanting something, not wanting to be poor is not the same thing as wanting to be rich. Not wanting to be fat is not the same thing as wanting to be fit or healthy. I'm hypnotizing you right now, believe it or not, Tiffy. When I'm teaching somebody hypnosis, I teach it to them in 3 phases. A, B, S. Step 1 is to get your attention. Put a 1 in the box if I got your attention. Yeah, this message woke me up out of my sleep. I'm supposed to be, be asleep for about another 3 hours, but I'm— I ain't had a cup of coffee. I ain't had none of that. Okay, so we already completed step 1 in hypnotizing y'all. I got your attention. Step 2 of hypnosis is the B. A is attention, B is Bypass the critical mind. Put a 2 in the box if I sound like I might know what I'm talking about a little bit. Put a 2 in the box if you, if you bought in, if you leaned in, if you're going, okay, that makes sense, that makes sense, that makes sense. Okay, so we completed step 2. I got your attention. I bypassed your critical mind, which means that the critical mind is open. Step 3 is to stimulate the subconscious. Put a 3 in the box if you've heard any stories or any metaphors, anything like that that resonate. Put a three in the box if you think you'll be able to leave the room and articulate what we talked about today. Put a three in the box if sometime throughout your week you think you might have a flashback of the stuff we talked about. Congratulations, you've been hypnotized. I got your attention. I bypassed your critical mind, and I stimulated your subconscious. If I if we're in a relationship and I come in the house with your favorite flower combination. And you go, oh babe, you just made my day. I hypnotized you. I did something, you processed it, you feel different. That's hypnosis. If I call you the B-word and you get offended, congratulations, I hypnotized you. I got your attention, I bypassed your critical mind, and I stimulated your subconscious. Now you feel different, now you thinking different, now you acting different as a result of what I said. If you can watch TV And you can laugh even though those comedians aren't in your living room. You could be hypnotized online. Like, it's no different. Hypnosis doesn't happen in a room. Hypnosis happens in the mind. You on track? Okay, for sure, for sure. You signed up for the seminar. I remember. Yeah, I remember seeing your name on the worksheet. You signed up for the seminar. We gonna go real deep into this. So day one of the seminar is this in terms of entrepreneurship. What's going on, Queen Key? How you doing? So, so does that make sense? That's what hypnosis is. Like, the way that I like teach it in like the workshops that are aimed at hypnosis is everybody is a hypnotist. They just don't do it as efficiently as I because I've been doing it for 20 years. But my daughter is a hypnotist. When we go to the store, my daughter do things like she'll go pick out 2 toys that she want. I mean, she gonna pick out a toy that she want, then she go find another toy, but the one that she really want is always the cheaper toy. So this is the toy she want, this toy she don't want. She come to me and she'll give me what's called a double bind. She go, Daddy, which one of these can I get? This one is $29.99, this one is $69.99. She wants the one that called $29.99, but she puts the $69.99 there just to give me An alternative other than no. That's a powerful thing. Giving somebody an alternative other than no is such a powerful thing. If I get you so busy picking between these two things, it's a good chance— no guarantee, but it's a good chance— that the option of no won't cross your mind. So if you— so if I'm working with somebody, I might say, hey, you want to go into hypnosis fast or slow? I didn't ask them did they want to be hypnotized. Ask them if they want to do it fast or slow. Somebody who's scared to be like, do it slow. Somebody who's excited to do it, but let's do it fast. But either way, I didn't give the scared person options of saying no. I gave them the option of doing it, doing it slow. That's that's hypnosis. It's not witchcraft. It's not like hypnosis is it's understand understanding the nuances of communication and understanding that words only seven percent of communication. The baby anchor my my baby is a master hypnotist. All of my kids, master hypnotists. But the reason they pick up on this stuff, I've been doing to them their whole life. Let's say they bedtime at 9 o'clock, 9:30, 9:45. I might walk in the room and go, hey, you want to go to bed now or you want 5 more minutes? What you think they gonna say without even thinking about it? 5 more minutes. Okay, set your timer on your iPad for 5 more minutes. And when that iPad go off, you know what to do, right? You're a big girl, you can handle this. Or I might do a, Daddy got to come back and check on you. I can handle it. They set their timer. Daddy walk off. Come, come back. iPad go off. It's like people want this element of control. People care about the perception of control way more than they care about actually having control. People care about the perception of control way more than they care about actually having control. Companies understand this about people. People— companies understand that people will work harder for a key to the building than they will for a pay raise. I'm not those people. You got me messed up. Bring me my money. But you— but most people, you can promote them, give them a key to the building, get them a key to the building, and they, they brag and they feel good. They calling people. No more money, lots more responsibility, but they got a key to the building. The key to the building came with, hey, can you go up there and such and such and open the door so and so? I don't know.
Keep the key.
Give me, give me the But you see what I'm saying? People care way more about the element of control, and that's one of the things that you always want to keep in mind when you hypnotizing people. Like a lot of hypnotists are coming to me like, "Hey, how I'm not getting these results?" Da da da da da. What they're doing is way too early in the session is they're taking the person's sense of control. Not always, but this is one of the things I see a lot. They the hypnotist don't watch too much TV. He want to go deep sleep, and you're under my command. You don't want to put them under your command. You want to teach them how to use their command. I'm not going to make you quit smoking. I'm going to give you the tools to quit smoking. You're going to quit smoking or you're not going to keep smoking. Either way, it's non-refundable. So I suggest you use the tools and quit smoking. Ask me, what's my success rate with quit smoking? 98%. I don't want the responsibility of making you a nonsmoker. And I think it's real important for parents to keep that same nuance with their kids. I don't want the responsibility of making you a a good human being. I'm gonna equip you to be a good human being. I'm gonna equip you to be responsible. I can't make you be responsible, baby, but I'm going to put the tools at your disposal. I'm gonna be a good example for you. And I really, really, really suggest, like, if you like, like growing, if you want to keep living the way you've been living under my roof, I really suggest you embody this stuff and let it in. Because eventually in your life, I'm going to become a source of help, but not your— eventually we're going to cut this umbilical cord. So I really, really, really suggest that neurologically and hormonally you let me impress this in you. But I can't— I'm not going to live your life for you. And I'm telling you, man, that sense of responsibility— because if I, if I know I could just blame it on somebody else, oh man, it takes all the weight off of me. And people sign these subconscious contracts early on. This marriage don't work out, I'm just blaming on— I'm blaming on them. If this job don't work out, I'm gonna just blame it on them. And the thing is, you haven't consciously said this, but subconsciously you've signed the contract. Subconscious contracts are a real thing. Like when you see entertainment hypnosis, a lot of what's going on is we sign these subconscious contracts. Could I just walk up to a person on the street and go, your feet stuck to the ground, try to unstick them? And 9 times out of 10, it won't work. If they know my work and I already got the right context set up, it's a pretty good chance I could get that to work. How does the person— how does the average person— how long does the average person take to quit? Quitting happens in an instant. How long do they— how long does it take for them to decide to quit is the real question. Like, people go, man, it took me 5 years to leave my ex-husband. No, it didn't. It took you 30 seconds to— I had a client, she was telling me how it took her 10 years to leave Her husband. No, it didn't. When you decided to leave your husband, 2 weeks later you was at your sister's house 4 states away.
You, you—
it took you 10 years to decide to leave, but once you reached that decision and you became the person that was leaving, it, it— change happens in an instant. How long does it take to make the decision is the real question. The subconscious decision, not the conscious decision, though, because what the conscious mind is, what you know. The subconscious mind is who you are. For an example, I know how to change oil. I got all the tools, got the space to do it, got everything I need to change oil, but I be taking it to the dealership. They do it so much quicker. I can go do other stuff while they do it. Knowing how to do it is not the same thing as doing it. Easily blamed but hard to accept truth because people can't handle it. And that's the thing, they can handle it, they're just not used to handling it. A lot of times what we do as humans is we mistake Familiar with feeling good. It don't feel good, it's just familiar. Like, you ever broke up with somebody that you know you should break up with? Like, you know they were doing you no good at all. The sex not even good no more. Like, it's nothing left in this relationship for you, but it feels familiar, so you have a hard time stepping away.
Some—
it sometimes don't even feel good, it's just neurologically and hormonally familiar. Just like you can get chemically addicted to alcohol and pills and other things, you can get chemically addicted to the hormones and the The neurological patterns that you fire off regularly, so it's not hard. Sometimes it's not even hard; it's just unfamiliar. You you in that first or that second stage of learning, and you got to just push through till you make it to that third stage and eventually plow through to that fourth stage. It's not hard; it's unfamiliar. But the average person takes to quit smoking. I do a lot of my quit smoking sessions in one session. Sometimes people will need reinforcement, but I help a lot of people quit smoking in just one session. How long can you change one's subconscious so they can quit? I, I don't— can you ask that question another way, Tiffy? Because I want to really make sure I'm answering what you're, what you're asking me. So I'm gonna let you ask me in another way because I'm not quite clear what, what you're asking me right now. I think you're asking me how long, like, will it, will it work? How, like, if you did a quit smoking session, are you asking like how long would it work? And that's taking us back to what we went on talking about, Miss Saj. So, okay, I got you, Tiffy. Let me, um, make this point and I'm gonna come right back to you. So we started off this live talking about how not wanting something is not the same thing as wanting something. I'm not saying I want to quit smoking.
I'm just saying I'm not wanting to smoke.
Like wanting to be rich is not the same thing as not wanting to be poor. Subconscious mind doesn't negate information. So as soon as you say, I don't want to be poor, the subconscious mind is still focused on not being poor. As soon as you try to quit smoking and you don't want to smoke, the more you try not to smoke, the more you want to smoke. So wanting and not wanting look different neurologically and hormonally. They, they are not the same thing. And then the next level up to that is Wanting and being are not the same thing. Wanting to be rich is not the same thing as being rich. And the thing about it, this will mix most people up. It has nothing to do with your bank account. Wanting to be rich and being rich, deciding to be rich doesn't have anything to do with your bank account. You got to realize that being is the input of having. Let's slow that down. Being is the input of having. Before I can have riches, I have to be rich. And if I just be rich and I get myself in a space where hormonally and neurologically I'm being rich, automatically start doing different. Now, if I spend 6 months being rich, it starts to spill over into the bank account. If I spend a year being rich, it starts to translate into the bank account. I spend 10 years being rich, it starts to spin over into the bank account. But what, what we do is we see the bank account and go, oh no, I'm poor. Poor is a state of being. Poor happens in here, it doesn't happen out there. The bank account is a reflection of what the eyes can't see. The bank— the money translates how valuable are you to the world. How valuable are you to the people around you? Not the people in your immediate house. We know you take care of them. Which of the 6 states would poor fall? It would depend on— poor is one of those, it's tricky. It depends on what's motivating the poor. Like, because you could be poor, you could be in a high arousal negative chemistry state of poor. You could be in a lower arousal, it's not even my fault I'm like this. Of course they got more, they got a 600 or 400-year head start. So poor is one of those, it can, it can sit in a few of those. It's different ways to be be poor, if that makes sense. Somebody asked a question that I don't want to get too far away from because I sure have forgot. Okay, so we was talking about how long does it work. So the thing that I always tell smokers, right, is— and this works for any example really, but let's keep it with smoking— you weren't born addicted to nicotine. In rare cases, I guess you can be, but 9 times out of 10, you weren't born addicted to nicotine. Your body rejected the hell out of the first cigarette. The first cigarette was very uncomfortable for you. You didn't smoke and go, oh, wow, that feels amazing. I'm addicted. No, you started coughing, you got sick to the stomach, you got lightheaded, but your friends were doing it, so you kept doing it. You taught yourself how to smoke. At first, your body knew that it wasn't— that didn't belong in there. It rejected it. You will leave my office with those same symptoms. You will leave my office as a nonsmoker. But just like you weren't born addicted to nicotine, just like you learned the habit of smoking, you can leave here and you can choose to learn the habit of smoking again. I suggest you don't do that. But you gotta realize, hypnosis is ABS: attention, bypass the critical mind, stimulate the subconscious. Doesn't take a hypnotist to hypnotize you. You can hypnotize at least 6 times a day. I tell new hypnotists all the time, every 90 minutes or so, a person cycles out of alpha into deep theta just to take everything they've consciously got and pass it down to the subconscious. The worst hypnotist in the world, if they understand how to spot when somebody goes into trance, they can hang out— if they hang out with you long enough, you gonna put yourself in hypnosis while you're in their presence. If they got a 2-hour session booked with you, at some point during that 2 hours, you gonna put you in hypnosis. So to answer your question is, I said, like, if you did— it's downloading, it's pushing it in there. So if you did do like a quit smoking session, I suggest you get all the things that activate ABS out of there. If the ashtray gets your attention, bypasses your critical mind, and stimulates your subconscious, throw it away. If knowing that the cigarettes are in reach in the house, they get your attention, bypass your critical mind, and stimulate your subconscious, get them out of there. Get over agoraphobia. Which one is agoraphobia? Agoraphobia is a fear of— tell me. It's so many phobias, man. I can't keep track of all of them. What's up, Sam? Going outside, I haven't worked with going outside directly, but I can already see the state of being they would be in and the state of being they need to be in. So the way that I look at hypnosis now, we got other times where there's chemical imbalances and there are other factors at play. But for a neurotypical person, the way I look at Hypnosis is like knowing how to drive. When you know how to drive, you know how to drive. You don't have to learn how to drive to the mall, then learn how to drive to the store, then learn how to drive to the lake. I know how to drive. So that's how, that's how I look at hypnosis. I— and every problem is a thinking problem. I don't care if you want to make more money. I don't care if you want your body to look different. I don't care if you want to build new habits. I don't care what you want to do. If you think different, you'll behave different on accident. Is it a fear of falling back into it? Is it a fear of falling back into what smoking? We would take care of the the fear of falling. So this is my approach to working with a non-smoker. This is exactly what I do in a quit smoking session. Any habit? No, because we properly take care of the The habit. We'll just remove all the triggers. What I do with a smoker is I don't make them quit smoking as much as I help them become a nonsmoker. It's kind of going back to what we was talking about at the beginning of the live. I don't use logic to work with a smoker. I don't say, hey, those cigarettes are killing you. That nicotine isn't good for you. Every time you puff on that cigarette, you taking time off your life. They know that already. And if the knowing that was going to make them a nonsmoker, they wouldn't be in my office. What I do is I get them to feel like a nonsmoker. When you feel like a nonsmoker, you'll think like a nonsmoker on accident. And if you're feeling like a nonsmoker and thinking like a nonsmoker, guess what? In this state of being a nonsmoker, cravings don't show up. In this state of being a nonsmoker, the thought of sucking cancer out of a straw just don't sit well with you. So what we do is we get them to sit with me for an hour, maybe 2 hours, depending on the circumstances and we get them to feel like a nonsmoker. And you got to realize that 98% of you show them tools, but it's up to them to quit. They gonna leave there as quitting. So it is very nuanced. And this is one of those situations where words don't teach, experiences teach. So I'm trying to use the words to give you the best picture of the experience I can, but it's like, okay, the metaphor that I'm getting— let's see, can I make this stick? This is the metaphor that came to my mind. You got Michael Jordan and you got Phil Jackson. Now Phil Jackson has immense basketball knowledge. He understands the game at a cellular level. He's gonna draw up a play. Michael Jordan is a great basketball player capable of running this play. Phil Jackson isn't going to run the play. He's going to draw up the play, hold Michael accountable, and hand Michael the play. And Michael, in his trusting of Phil Jackson and his respect for Phil Jackson, is going to run the play to his full capability. Phil not gonna run the play. He gonna draw it up. He gonna use his knowledge of the sport to draw up the play. But Michael is the one that's going to run the play. Kobe is going to run the play. So does that mean that anybody just could draw up the play? No, you need somebody with Phil's understanding, with Phil's depth, with Phil's— his combinations of wins and losses. It's, it's, it's a, it's a field of knowledge that brought him to the, to the ability to draw up that play. It's the best play for this situation. Michael still has to run it. So in our situation, I would be Phil. You would be Michael. Does that make sense? I'm gonna draw up a play, and this play is based in understanding of subconscious patterning and neuroscience and biofeedback and understanding what's going on internally. I need you to have the desire of a Michael Jordan. We're running this play. I don't want you to like run the play like a guy who— Like, listen, man, I made it to Like Kobe Bryant talks about how when he got to the NBA, the competition got a lot easier. He said a lot of these guys just wanted to make it to the NBA. That was their goal. So when they hit their goal, they took their foot off the gas. I didn't just want to make it to the NBA. I wanted to be the NBA. So he was like, when— if, if my goal is here and your goal is there, like, I don't care. I'm not even competing with you no more. Competing with you gonna hold me back. I'm like, I'm competing with me. What's going on, Maddie? But I think you should schedule a consultation, Miss Saj, so we can talk directly about exactly what this looks like for you. Because there's no one-size-fits-all situation for smoking. Everybody smokes for different reasons. And sometimes I even meet people and go, they're not ready to quit smoking because the smoking is Has become a defense. I met this one guy, and it was very clear that cigarettes was the only thing keeping him from abusing his kids and his wife. How about you keep smoking for a few weeks and come back and see me next week? Let's unpack some of this other stuff that's going on at home. Get you in a different state of being. Then we'll get rid of the cigarettes because right now cigarettes is keeping you out of jail. Like right now cigarettes is um. It's a coping mechanism, and I'll be— we will be crazy to take away your coping mechanism. So let's keep smoking. Is it where I want you? No. But right now it's better than where you would go if we just yanked them out of there. So, and that's what I always tell, like, newer hypnotherapists. Like, hypnosis is easy. I can teach you to be— I can teach you how to put somebody in hypnosis in a very short period of time. It's understanding the nuances of human behavior, knowing what to do when you get somebody in hypnosis, and understand just because you can do something don't mean that you should. How about disciplining your children? So just like anything else, just like all forms of communication, the conversation needs to be— the conversation, the punishment, whatever needs to be wrapped around what you want, not what you don't I mean, you have a discussion with your spouse, the conversation needs to be wrapped around what you want, the desired outcome, not the unwanted thing. So, and you're not struggling, you're learning and you're seeking more information, because struggling is a state of being, and I don't want you to sit in that state of being or struggling. So I want you to sit in this state of being a successful parent already, because you, you're a successful parent just in the fact that you asking questions, trying to figure it out. You haven't gave up yet. You haven't threw your hands up and said screw it. So Great mom. You understand? You see what I'm saying? Because every idea that you have has to pass through the filter of how you see you. So we can give you the perfect prescription. But if you go fill that prescription from a mindset of, I didn't try everything else, why would this work? Like, it's not going to work. So one of the things that I always have to do with my— and understand, Boy, I got 3 kids and they 3 different people. I can yell at Ralph and get the result that I want. I can't yell at Riley. Riley, one of those kids, if you yell at her, she just shuts down. And I don't care how hard you yell, it just brings this super stubborn— like, your best Fit with Riley is to sit down and get things. She's my child. Make it make sense to her. She'll she'll she'll hold she'll hold herself accountable. She don't she don't need you to hold her accountable. But like giving them room to be them is is everybody I hypnotize I calibrate to the person in my in in front of me. Some people I could tell oh you're not backing down from a challenge. I'm gonna say something I don't even think you. quit smoking? What makes you think you can quit smoking? Or I'll say, on a scale of 1 to 10, how, how easy do you think this is gonna be for you? And they might say a 7, and I'll say, why not a 6? And I'll make them defend the reason that it should be a 7. And here comes the waterfall. But what you have to do is you— one of the things you have to do, and understanding that parenting is It's a matter of calibrating, doing the action, and seeing that we get the result that we want. No, okay, that didn't work. Let's let's try something else. Like it's a it's a learning game. It's it ebbs and it flows. So I'm saying this before I start giving you any tips because it's a matter of calibrating, getting getting to know that person and what works and what doesn't work. But I guarantee you every parent in here has felt. Is feeling. I got people on my on my schedule that are like clinical psychologists. It's still like Jay. I think I'm screwing this up. I got people on my schedule that are MDs. They're like, hey, do you hypnotize teenagers? I don't know what to do with parenting. Is it's parenting. I don't know another job like it. I don't know another job like it. So give yourself grace. Is first off, but I'll just tell you some of the things that— some of the things I keep in mind with my kids. And I'm not saying this is the— you always got to be careful when you talk about things like parenting and marriage because every marriage is different, every child is different. So I hate when people have these conversations like, do this. Maybe, maybe not. Do I work with teens? Yeah, I do. It's not my specialty. It depends. I work with people, but you actually got people out here that specialize in working with teens. I don't specialize in working with teens. My passion is reminding adults of who the hell they are. Now, do I work with teens? Yes. I don't advertise it. It usually comes by way of I'm like working with the parent and they like, hey, my child is— I'm like, yeah, bring them in. People are people, but the thing that I'm passionate about is seeing those results, those adults who are in this 40-year-old body, but that internal dialogue of, we about to go in the store, don't touch nothing, don't ask for nothing because you ain't getting nothing, is still running full circle. That's what really cranks me up. That and entrepreneurship. Those are the two things that really crank me up. But like I say, it's like driving. If you know how to drive, you know how to drive. Yeah, we could drive around teenagers. And a lot of times when parents bring me teenagers, what you got to understand is it's a confusing age. Do y'all remember what it felt like to be 13, 14, 15? You don't know who you are. You know who you're not. Your body's changing. It's hormones. Being a teenager is hard. And I think a lot of times as parents, we forget how hard it was to be a teenager. Are you only in junior high for 2 or 3 years depending on what state you in? So you just got to a new school, you just get familiar with these surroundings, then you going into the— this other— this other school and your body's changing and hormones. And if you're a female, you got other, other things. Like, it's, it's, it's such a weird— like, my daughter is 10 right now. This is not my same little girl from Shit, even 6 months ago. Like, she's— some days she just wake up, you're like, what's wrong, Riley? She's like, nothing, I'm fine. But she look like she's about to cry. I'm like, what do you— you know, what do you do with that? You got to give them pre-K and elementary. They kicking your— how old are they? Pre-K and ele— so you got the pre-K, that's what, 4? And how old is the other one?
6.
Man, be nice to yourself. Calibrate to them and Make sure you find time to fill your cup too.
Four.
So you got one? Oh no, you saying the pre-K is four. Okay, so four to nine. Be nice to yourself. Be nice to yourself. Like my daughter's mom, one of the greatest parents on the earth. Like I, it's always the real good parents that be hard on theyself. My man, my ex-wife moms at a crazy level. My kids so happy, so lucky to have her in their life because she parent at a level that dad not even capable of tapping into. And she's constantly, hey, hey, can I talk to you for a minute? I just feel like I'm screwing this up. I'm like, are you serious? Like, come on. Like, I think a lot of that Like, it's mom guilt. I'm willing to bet you're doing a great job. I'm not there, so I can't see it. But put it like this. I never have— so my practice is 85% women because women are just more into mental health and self-development and this type of thing. But the people who come sit on my couch and they crying about being a good mom, It's usually the good moms. Bad moms not worried about— what's up, sis? Bad moms not worried about being better moms. So give yourself some grace, Asia. I'm willing to bet you doing a good job. I'm willing to bet you doing a good job. What you got going on, sis? What you got going on? Listen, if y'all in Dallas and you need a braider, that's my little sister. She braided my hair. It ain't fresh right now. I'm fresh out of bed and I slept without a tie. Go back to some of my, my content, you'll see it when it's fresh. My sister's the coldest braider in Dallas. So this is what dope about it. She been braiding since she was like 4 years old. So she 25. You 25, 26? You'll be 26 next month. Social anxiety for sure, Tiff. But she been braiding for like 20 years and she only 25. So she at this age where she young enough to know what's in style, but she got 20 years of experience. It's like the, the dopest sweet spot. Like, she, she hard though. So if any of y'all in Dallas and you need your hair braided, she'll get you right. But yeah, social anxiety. So listen, social anxiety is self-hypnosis. Your subconscious mind has picked up on this, this pattern of information. Logically, you know it don't make sense. Logically, you know it don't make no sense. I'm in this store, these people not thinking about me. Why am I? Why is my heart beating fast? Why am I sweating? Why am I da da da da? Logically, it makes no sense. But subconsciously, you're running this pattern. Excuse me. That you're having a hard time stepping outside of logically. You you hypnotizing yourself. A story has got your attention, bypassed your critical mind, and has stimulated your subconscious. And now that the subconscious is stimulated, you're having a hard time coming out of this thing that logically you know makes zero sense. That's self hypnosis. Yes, hypnosis definitely helps with that. What's going on, Dellen? Dellen Ground. Is everything we saying making sense this morning? What's going on, Mocha? What is up? What is up? What is up? So quick reset. We started this room from the premise that not wanting something is not the same thing as wanting something. Not wanting to be poor is not the same thing as wanting to be rich. Not wanting to be fat is not the same thing as wanting to be slim, fit, and healthy. Not wanting to be sick is not the same thing as wanting to be healthy. So I don't want you to mistake not wanting something for wanting something. They neurologically and hormonally, they look completely different. Grand Rising, I'm doing amazing. I'm doing amazing. Now we're going to take a step up. Wanting and being are not the same thing. Wanting to be rich is not the same thing as being rich, and it doesn't have anything to do with the bank account. Being happens internally, and if you be it consistently, the results spill out to the external. If I start being rich right now, that looks like me starting to read different books. Starting to do different things with my money. Aaron, you hilarious, man. I like it when trolls know how to troll. A lot of the trolls on here, they so boring. I'm like, bro, like that's that's what you came up with? All right, Aaron, I see you, bro. I see you. I acknowledge you. That's funny. You can hang out here. What if you're on the edge and afraid hypnosis won't work? So even the idea of being afraid that hypnosis won't work is, is what we call a suggestion. You like— hypnosis isn't something that a hypnotist does, it's something that a hypnotist is good at, but everything that you know was taught to you through hypnosis, if that makes sense. What's going on, sweet Polly? Tiffy, I think you should, uh, schedule a consultation so we can really like get into the, like, the, the nuts and bolts of exactly what's going on, on with you so that we can, we can just determine whether or not hypnosis would be a good fit for you. But based on what you said in here, I think it will be. But hypnosis is always happening. Like, anger is a trance. Happiness is a trance. Pricing a consultation, you can schedule a consultation for $20, and if you end up pricing, that goes towards the price of your initial session. And as far as like pricing for sessions with me, depending on if we working remotely or if you coming to see me in person, and just if you— we doing a package or if we doing like a one-off session, we'll talk about all of that in the consultation. But pricing is, it's It's all over the place depending on what exactly we decide we doing. Are you seeing me one-on-one or are you just gonna get signed up for one of my group trainings? It's, uh, I try to make it to where people at all different price points can get what they need. I don't ever want money to be the reason somebody can't get the help they need, but, um, it's, it's a lot of moving pieces. What's up, Tammy? Welcome to the live. Welcome to the live. But being, doing, and having are all different states of being. Being is the input of doing. Doing is the input of having. And what you find a lot of times, people will try to do the doing and the having before they do the becoming. Becoming is step one, and becoming happens internally. It doesn't happen externally. We like— these nuances are so important. Trying to get through this 16-hour shift. Good luck, good luck. You got it, you got it. But is everybody understanding this concept of the difference between wanting something and being that something? Like last night when I always tell y'all how important it is to fall asleep as the person you desire to be. The dog again? You work at a daycare center? All right, let me lock that in. Cool. You hear me but you're not really understanding me? Ask me a direct question. What, what, what, what do you need to ask me? Tell y'all what. Oh, okay, I got you, I got you, I got you. This is what we'll do. I'm gonna be live for about another 30 minutes or so. What we'll do is for the last 30 minutes, people who want to come up, you could come up and I'll let y'all talk instead of type because I think we can move this conversation along quicker through talking than typing. So just request to come up, people who want to come up. And what we'll do is I'll answer you guys' questions without you having to type. Are you guys in spots where y'all could type? I mean, where y'all could talk and come up and your background isn't like super loud? Or some of y'all might be at work. I know y'all be listening with like headphones. Oh, somebody already— let me make sure I'm turned all the way up so I can hear you. What's going on, Asia?
Good morning. I am not sure what I need to ask, but I'm not under— I'm not grasping what you're trying to explain.
Okay, between like the, the having and the not having and the states of mind?
Um, what you said earlier, I worry about being a good parent. And I don't feel like I'm being one because I'm having problems with disciplining my kids.
Okay.
And like you said, you know, it's 2 different things with worry and not, not the results. I, I focus on the results that I don't want, but I'm not getting the results that I do want. Okay.
So with, Problem solving in general. We're going to talk about it from this point of view. So one of the first things that we have to realize with solving the problem is that working on the problem is not the same thing as working on the solution. Okay, a lot of times people will be working on the problem instead of working on the solution. So let me ask you this: if you woke up tomorrow morning and you were a great mom, how would you know?
I wouldn't know.
You wouldn't? Okay, so you can't get what you want until you know what you want. Okay, so first thing we got to get clear on, if I was killing this, if this was going efficiently, how would I know? How, how would I know? So I want you to take some time and answer that question. And the thing about it is, especially early in the process, you can't measure if it's working or not by the results. Not early in the process. You, you can't like try something for a day and go, it's not working. Like, it was a day. You hear me, Asia?
Yeah, I'm here. I'm still stuck on how would I know if If it's working or not, or—
So if you go to that link in my bio, you'll see something that says need clarity, or it says something along those lines of need clarity. Where my iPad at? I'll tell you exactly what it says. We got to get you clarity so you can get what you want. Give me a second here. Let me figure out exactly what this thing says so I can tell you what to click on. I'm not sending you on a wild goose chase. All right, so if you scroll down, you'll see this thing that says, need help getting clarity? Fill out this free form to get the clarity you need. If you click on that, that's gonna take you to something called a well-formed outcome, and I want you to fill that out. Now, once you fill that out and you hit submit, what it's gonna do is it's gonna send a copy of your answers to me. And it's gonna email them to you as well. If you want to, it's going to send you a text message that gives you an option to schedule a free 15-minute meeting with me, and we can unpack the things that you put on this sheet in detail. Now, the thing about this sheet is I want you to take your time and fill it out. If I look through it and I can tell that you like didn't put the effort into really filling it out, I'm gonna cancel the 15-minute meeting because Like, this is the starting point to what we would unpack in the 15-minute meeting. So I really want you to take time. It's gonna ask you things like, what specifically do you want? Describe your desired outcome in a positive sensory-based way. And I give you examples of kind of what the answers should look like. But it's gonna really force you to get clarity because you can't get what you want until you know what you want. And the example that we always use in the live is imagine getting in the back of a taxi and saying, don't take me to the mall, I hate the mall, the price is too high. I don't know who they think paying $150 for one pair of jeans, because I'm not. Don't take me to the mall. And then, then you stop talking. Like, what is the taxi driver— you see what I'm saying?
Yeah.
And I feel like that's where we at right now. It's like, I don't want to be a bad mom, I, I don't want my kids getting in trouble, I don't want this, I don't want that, I don't want, I don't want that.
Okay, well, um, I guess I'm really basing it off my childhood and my wounding.
Mm-hmm.
I don't want them to experience what I have went through.
Okay. So what, so what's 180 degrees opposite of that? Hey baby, what's going on?
Okay. For starters, like with spanking them, I get scared that I'm gonna hurt them. And I, I guess it's based off what I experienced as a child. Okay.
So this your first— this your first time in here, Asia?
Yes. Okay, I found you through Nikki, but I never came in the live. I just followed you that one day as she brought you up in her live. Okay, I never got a chance to actually sit in here until this morning.
Okay, so one of the things that we talk about often is like we got to get under the, the influence of what we don't want. And get under the influence of what we do want. Because right now it sounds like you're, you know, you're under the influence of not wanting to handle your children the way that you were handled, right?
Yeah.
So all the ideas that you give birth to, all the inspiration that you get, is coming from under the influence of what you don't want. Does that make sense?
Yes.
When your good ideas, the things that are gonna work, they— you, you don't even got access to those ideas from under that influence. We got to get you from— we got to get you under the influence of what you do want. I want healthy communication with my children. I want them to respect me yet feel like they can tell me anything. I want them to respect themselves. Like, we got to really get a clear picture of what you want, because when you under the influence of what you don't want That that's where all the most. So you'll be asking with your with your mouth for something, but neurologically and hormonally, you manifesting in the opposite direction. And Top Shelf says, "I can tell she's a great mom by her coming up with a mindset of wanting." Exactly, Top Shelf. Like bad moms don't. Bad moms throw their hand up and go, "You know what?" Yada yada. I like the fact that you even asking these questions shows like you are a great mom. What we got to do is get you. Under the influence of what you what you want. Okay, I need you to figure out exactly what you desire, and we're gonna start practicing being that from right here right now. Then in the matter of being that, new ideas are starting to show up, new opportunities are starting to present themselves, and. I think a lot of what we got to do is, um, neurologically and hormonally shake up what happened to you and get you, get you to a state of healing. I think as you step in that state of healing, a lot of those things flow naturally. I think so. How old are you? How old are you, Asia, if you don't mind me asking?
I just made 30.
You just made 30?
Okay.
You got this. You got this. But we, we gotta, in order to get you what you want, we gotta get clear on what you want. So I want you to do a little homework assignment and fill that sheet out. And in the process of filling that sheet out, we gonna figure out what you want to help you get under the influence of it.
Okay.
For sure. For sure.
Thank you.
For sure. And I know you wanted like this magic wand, like answer. It's, it's—
I know it. I know nothing comes easy.
It's different for everybody. Like, somebody else can ask that same exact question and they'll need a different answer than the one you need. That filling out that form is gonna let me know how, how to really answer this question specifically for you. I don't want to give you no generic answer for something like parenting when it's, it's so vast. But the most important thing that's going to be— the thing that's going to be true in every circumstance is we got to get you clear on what you want. Like, I'll use myself as an example. My dad wasn't around at all. And when I first was going into parenting, one of my goals was not to be like my dad. Well, the thing about not being like my dad— hell, if I show up for one baseball game, I already checked that box. If I show up for anything at all I'm not like my dad. So it's not enough to not be like my dad. I got to figure out what type of dad I want to be so I can hit that target. Because not being like my dad is like— it's, it's, it's so vague that I can do very few things and still be able to consider it successful. Does that make sense?
Yes.
And the subconscious mind doesn't negate information. So a lot of times the things that you trying not to be like When you try not to be like it, what you do is you accidentally make it the center of focus. So all the ideas spring from this thing that you don't want to be. Like, if I say don't think about a pink elephant, first thing you're gonna do is think about a pink elephant. So it's like not wanting to be a bad mom. Like, it's like we were talking about earlier in the live, not wanting to be a bad mom is not the same thing as wanting to be a good mom. But before we can be a good mom, we got to define what that looks like. Then you measure the success by, am I hitting this, this bar that I set? Not so much the results. You gotta understand, the baby— the babies, even though they're babies, they're, they're humans. Am I stepping up to the plate and doing what I can from here?
Right.
So let's figure out exactly what a good mom looks like. And we're gonna notice that you're already doing a lot of these things on the box. But first things first, let's get it on paper and out of your head, because your head is tricky, because it's subconscious patterns running in the head that the— putting it on paper is going to force us to bypass.
Okay, that sounds—
So put that on paper, and then we'll hop on a free 15-minute call and we'll unpack some of that and talk about what it looks like making that tangible. Money with two E's. Gentle, thank you. For sure, for sure. It can be money being present and taking it one day at a time, one situation at a time. It really can. And Asia, I'm telling you, this is um, this is something that comes up with my clients, and it's not um. I promise you, you not the only one that. that feels this way, that has felt this way, that will feel this way. But it's, it's always the great, the great moms that, that feel this way. Always the great moms. What's going on, LV Trey? What's going on, Tiffy?
Yeah, hi.
Hey, talk to me.
Okay, so what I wanted to know is, um, basically just to get an idea of pricing and to see if it's something I can afford. Um, so say for instance I wanted a private session online for 2 hours.
So I always do my initial session at 2 hours. Uh, the initial session, if we're doing it virtually, would be $375, and that would be the 2-hour session. What's going on, Jackwell? Where are you located, Tiffy? What state, if you don't mind me asking? DC.
DC.
Okay, yeah, so we would definitely be doing virtual. So our initial would be $375. Okay, what's going on, Self-Made Innovations? What's up, Mida?
Also, do you help like finding people's— help people find their life purpose?
I can point. So your life purpose is— the thing about your purpose is you operating in it already, rather you know it or not. Like, apple seed can't give you nothing but an apple tree. Like, even before I was doing this for a living, my first job was at Geek Squad. When I was working at Geek Squad, it was customers that would hang out at the counter long after their computer was done because we was doing this. When I was in the military, even when I was the lowest ranking one in the room, there's times I'd be like, you know what, morale low, somebody need to tell a joke. I might get in trouble, but I'm gonna tell a joke right now because that's what needs to happen. I was the one in the room thinking about The, the mood of the room. I was the one in the room doing the hypnotizing and the influencing. I grew up playing piano in churches. I started realizing at a very early age that sitting at this piano, I could go home when I was ready to go home. I would start playing the altar call music and pastor would go, you know what, spirit moving, it's time to wrap up and get out of here. Even before I was a hypnotist and like a hypnotherapist, I've been doing this my whole life. Now I started doing it on purpose, that's when things changed. But I've always been— whatever your purpose is, I guarantee you, you already walking in it. But it is some exercises and different things we could do to help, help you discover it and get clarity on it. What's one thing that made me smile yesterday? Shit, waking up, being me, getting to play for a living, getting to do this stuff that I love. What's one thing that made you smile yesterday, KK? What's up, Queen Fit? Does that make sense, Tiffy?
Yeah, it does.
You feel like you're struggling to find your purpose? What's up, Cocoa Puff?
No, I— yes, yes, I didn't mean to say no, but, um, I thought I had my purpose, but then Something happened and things changed. I don't want to, you know, put all my business on the internet, but—
For sure. Thanks for the follow, LV. Well, you can also, if you fill out one of those things that I just had Asia fill out, though, it's called a well-formed outcome. If you go to that thing to say get clarity, it's gonna ask you some questions. It's gonna force you to dig. It's gonna force you to dig deep. If you fill one of those out, once you hit that submit button, it's going to offer you a free 15-minute coaching call with me. I say fill that out and let's just see what what you got.
Okay. Thank you.
Okay, for sure, for sure. KK playing catch with my nephew was cracking jokes trying to make me miss it. That's what's up, KK. What's going on, friend? Thanks for the follow. Thanks for the follow. So what the rest of y'all up to? What's up, MDG? What's up, what's up, what's up? So we started off the live talking about how not wanting something is not the same thing as wanting something. Not wanting to be sick is not the same thing as wanting to be healthy. Not wanting to be poor, it's not the same thing as wanting to be rich. About to clock into work. That's what's up. So on your success journey, I really want to get very clear that it's not enough to know what you don't want, right? I need you to figure out what you do want, okay? Everybody knows what they don't want. 98% of people don't know what they want. The reason that my initial session is 2 hours long, because we usually spend the first hour getting the person clarity about what they want. Because you can't get what you want until you know what you want. But once you know what you want, you already halfway there. I really need you to understand that once you know what you want, you already halfway there. Getting that clarity is— is— I ain't gonna say it's the most important part because it's other important steps, but it's definitely the launching pad. It's not enough to get in the back of the Uber and tell the driver where not to take you. For sure, for sure. But it's not enough for me to not want to be with like him. What type of dad do I want to be? Okay, I know what I don't want. What's 180 degrees opposite of that? Okay, what do I want? I want to have a relationship with my kids. I want to know my kids. I want to have fun with my kids, yet have this disrespect. Like, I want you to get detailed about what you want. And the thing about your nervous system, just by putting your focus on something, you start to move towards it on accident, okay? You start— just by knowing what you want, you start going towards it on accident. So I need you to really take time. Let's talk about 5C, because I believe 5C gonna talk about A lot of the different questions we got asked today, and it's gonna help you understand how everything ties together. So our first C— and if it's your first time in here and you've never been introduced to 5C, I suggest you get some pencil and paper. 5C is the success formula that I use in every session. It's in the back of my mind. So our first C is clarity, right? I can't get what I want until I know what I want. So clarity. Now after I get clarity, I move to the second C. The second C is calibration. Calibration. What is calibration? Calibration is getting under the influence of what I want. Most people, when they come to their initial session, what they're calibrated to is what they don't want. So the first thing we're going to do is get clarity about what they want. What we doing here? Everybody comes up, what's the first thing I ask them? Okay, what do you want? I know what you don't want. What do you want? I can't help you get what you want until I know what you want. And then the thing is, like, a lot of times people would think that what they want is common sense. You don't want me putting my, my model of living on your life. You don't want me to let you tell me what's going on and assume what you want, because my assumption could very well be wrong. You see what I'm saying? You don't want me go— you don't want to tell me, man, I lack confidence and my self-esteem just not what I would like it to be. Then I assume, okay, you want to be boastful. Okay, you want— you want bravado. You want it like— no, actually, I just— I just want to be comfortable walking into the room. Like, no, I don't want to. You see what I'm saying? Like, what? So you don't want me assuming what you want. Even Jesus, when he's helping the blind man, what is it that you want? People probably standing around like, bro, you supposed to be this master healer. Can't you see that the dude is black? What do I need you to put it in your words? What do you want? I need that new. I need that agreement from your hormonal system. I need that agreement from your your nervous system. So get clarity. That's step one. I need you to get clarity about what you want. I need you to get clarity about what you want, not what you don't want. Wanting to win. It's not the same thing as not wanting to lose. So I need you to get clarity on what you want. That's the first C. Now that you get clarity, we need to calibrate to what we want. What does calibration mean? I need you to start getting under the influence of it. How do I get under the influence of it? By giving your attention to it. When you calibrate to a funny movie, do you have to try to laugh or does it happen organically? When you calibrate to a sad movie, do you have to try to feel sad, or does it happen organically? It's the same way with your desires. When you calibrate to what you don't want, you don't got to try to procrastinate. It happens naturally. You don't got to try to feel down and uninspired. It happens naturally. But when you give your attention to what you do want, when you calibrate to what you do want, you don't got to try to feel inspired. It happens naturally. You don't got to try to feel motivated and creative. It happens naturally. One of the, um, one of the things that we use in the— one of the metaphors we use in the live all the time is if every month I did a competition where I picked one person that's been coming to the lives, that's been showing up, and that person wins a million dollars. You've been coming to the room about 3 months, you've seen 3 different people win a million dollars. Month number 4, you win $1 million. If I say, hey, congratulations, you won $1 million, the only thing you got to do to claim your money is come to my office in Dallas, Texas before 5 PM tomorrow. Do you think you will make it? Do you think you will find ways to get here? Do you think you would need a pep talk? Do you think you'd be like, well, let me talk to my therapist first? Do you think you'd be like, well, I don't got a babysitter, so I'm not gonna worry about it. I got a headache, so I'm just not gonna worry about it. Do you think you'll be able to figure out how to get in my office in Dallas, Texas by 5 PM to claim a million dollars? And it's not rhetorical, I'm asking you guys for real. You think you could figure out how to get here if you knew for a fact it was a million dollars with your name on it waiting for you? Shit, I'll walk if I had to. Yes, yes.
Okay.
Yes. Now, why is that? What if your bank account was overdrafted by $100? You think you would still figure out— you think you can still figure it out? If your bank— if your bank account was already in the negative by $100, you think you would figure it out? If you couldn't find a babysitter, you think you would figure it out? If you had a headache, worst migraine you ever had, you think you'll figure it out? You see how the ideas are? I'll walk if I had to. Front me $400. You see how you're not having to dig for the ideas? And this is a hypothetical situation. It's not even a real million dollars on the line. But you see how the ideas are flowing? Well, if I ain't have it, I, I, I get $20 from my mom, $20 from my auntie. Even if you can't go to One person to get all the money. You be like, "My mom got fifty." I know, I know, I know I can get fifty from over here. You know, you would figure it. You would figure it out. And you see how the ideas just just popping up? You're not having to go. The the ideas, the energy, everything necessary is just flowing because you are under the influence of what you desire. Now, what if this was my first time doing this competition? Because in the example I used, I said we did it three months and you were the fourth winner. But imagine now you the first winner, and you going, man, I don't know. Is this man really finna give me a million? Why would he give me a million dollars? What if I get all the way to Texas and he don't got a million dollars for me? And I spent a little bit I do got to get there. Then I got to get back. You think the ideas would flow just as easily, or do you think the ideas would slow down? You think that you had that same type of energy and that same type enthusiasm, or do you think the ideas and the enthusiasm and the energy would slow down a bit? You see what I'm saying? When you're under the influence of what you want, when you're under the influence of it's working and this is going to work out the way that I wanted to work out, The good ideas float, the inspiration flows, the creativity flows. When you introduce doubt, when you introduce that element of, man, I don't know, the ideas slow down, the energy dies down. That's what I mean when I say I want you to get calibrated to what you want, because that same excitement that you had to come get— to come to Dallas to get the million dollars, if you really believe that that book that you got in your head was going to put you on the New York Times bestsellers list and change not only your lives but your children's lives. If you really believed that book that you had on your— in, in your head was going to save somebody's life, it's going to stop some people from committing suicide, it's going to help other people find a higher quality of life. That same gusto, that same motivation, that same inspiration that you had towards I'll walk if I had to to get my million dollars You would, you would write that book. The problem is, I always tell people procrastination is not the problem. Procrastination is the symptom of the problem. And I've worked with a lot of procrastination, and people only procrastinate for one of two reasons. First reason is they don't really want it. Society says they should want it. Culture says they should want it. They saw it on the For You page. They heard it in the song. Million dollars just sound good. Like, they, they culturally, they think that they should want it, but neurologically and hormonally, and they just being honest with theyself, they don't want it. They don't want the responsibility that comes with it. They don't want to lose friends. Like, they, they don't want it. They think they want it, but they don't want it. That's the first reason we see people procrastinate. The second reason we see people procrastinate is they don't believe they can do it. These are the only two reasons people procrastinate. They they don't want it, or they don't believe they can have it. When we when we make sure it's something you want, and we convince you that you can have it, you'll start moving towards it on accident. Now, if you don't believe you can have it, you're gonna come up with ideas. You're gonna come up with excuses. The the inspiration not gonna be there. You're gonna procrastinate. And one of the things you gotta understand about the subconscious mind: appreciate them touts. Hey, y'all, y'all, yeah, y'all tap the screen. Let's run this up to 10,000 real quick. You gotta understand that the subconscious mind works in the, the now. Not believing in myself, we can fix that. Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. In the beginning was the word, the word was with God, and the word was God. Like, keep hanging out. Law of repetition. It'll, it, it, it'll get planted. Oh man, you— I wish you was at some of the other lives where we really go into this stuff. You could be, do, and have anything you desire. Your only limit in life is your own imagination. But you can't get what you want until you know what you want. And a lot of times, I know it seems like I'm like gatekeeping information. I'm never gatekeeping, but it's impossible to tell you what to do until we know what you want. Like sometimes people come here like, bro, what book should I be reading? I don't know. What do you want to do? You— if you want to do exactly what I'm doing, I'll tell you what I'm reading. But if you don't want to do exactly what I'm doing, some of the books I'm reading will help you. Some of the books that I'm reading gonna slow you down. You don't need to understand the deep structures of language to do most things in life. But if you want to do what I'm doing, understanding deep structure of language will work— would definitely help. You can't get what you want until you know what you want. And so many people go through life knowing what they don't want without ever taking the time to get clarity about what they do want. Then they see other people who are happy, and they look at their path to happiness. Go, I'm gonna try that. That's not what you want. You're not gonna be motivated. You're not gonna be inspired because it's not what you want. You want to be happy, but that's not that's not what you want. You just see somebody doing something that fulfills them, and you want that fulfillment. We got to figure out what fulfills you. Like because people see me do what I do, and they see the. The way that I do it, like a 16-hour workday ain't nothing to me because my work and my play look a lot alike. This is this is what I want to do. So a lot of times people come to the live and they they go, "Oh man, you're so smart. You're so motivated. You're so inspired. How can I be that?" I'm not this inspired. I'm not this motivated when it comes to geography. I'm not this smart. I'm not this inspired when it comes to chemistry. This is what I was sent here to do. So I can, I can study psychology all day long. I can study neuroscience all day long. Hypnosis, NLP, biofeedback— those are things that excite me. So it looks like I'm just this super motivated, inspired being, but the reason it looks like that is because I'm doing what I desire to do. I'm doing what called to do. So you can't compare what you see somebody doing in their calling, and you can't compare yourself to that when you not doing your calling. Does that make sense? Like, you see LeBron James and the way he play basketball, but you gotta understand there's some other avenues where he's not LeBron James. He, he's LeBron James in that arena. Some other avenues where he's LeBron James, but he's not LeBron James. So, and we do that a lot, especially with social media. You get on social media and see somebody walking in there calling, because the thing about this, especially like this talking stuff and like presenting, I realized early on with the presenting— now I'm gonna give them to you, Asia— that with this stuff, my 50% looked like a lot of people's 100%.
Right.
My 50% in this realm looks like a lot of other people's 100% in this realm. Okay, now it's other areas of life where my 100% looks like somebody else's 20%. Cooking is one of those areas. It don't hold my attention. It don't bore me. Like, when I cook, you can literally taste the hurry the hell up in the food. Like I have zero. Like it, it don't do it for me. This is where that clarity portion comes in. Okay, let me get y'all the rest of the seeds. Asia say she want the, she want the rest of the seeds. So clarity, get clear on what you desire. What you desire, not what society says you should want. No, none of that. What do you desire? Get clarity. Now, if you get clarity, calibrate to it. Get under the influence of it. How do I calibrate to it? By seeing it, by imagining it, by experiencing it, by closing my eyes and allowing myself to go there, by understanding that the way that I feel is based on 2 things and 2 things only: the chemicals that I'm releasing hormonally and what am I doing with my nervous system. Both of those things are controlled from the inside out, not the outside in. As humans, we got way more control than we feel comfortable admitting over how we feel. Does it take practice? Yes, but we got a lot of say-so in how we feel. Now, I'm not saying some things won't happen in life to shake you to your core, but I am saying you still got a lot of influence of what your endocrine system is doing and what your nervous system Okay, so you get clarity, you calibrate to it. Now the third C is confidence. Now when I say confidence, this is what I mean. Confidence is your ability to remain calibrated even when you see things that you don't like, even when you hear things that you don't like. So I got— okay, let's, let's, let's, let's make this tangible. Let's say I wake— let's, let's say I'm getting out of the shower one day and I look in the mirror And I see my body and go, I don't like that. I got extra stuff in places that I don't want. I don't like that. I don't like the way it makes me feel. I really don't like this. Most people would sit in that, I don't like this, and they'll go right, you know, finish drying off, get dressed, and go right to bed in that state of, I don't like this. This is where we get clarity. I don't like this. I can remember a time when this was nice and tight and trim and this wasn't here. I want to get back to this. I want, I want my biceps more toned up. You know what? I want to be a size large in shirts. I want to be a size 34 in jeans again. I'm— I want to get fit. I want to get healthy. I want to be able to run up a flight of stairs and not be— you see how the clarity is stored into to unpack? I'm not gonna harp on what I don't want. I'm gonna use what I don't want as the launching pad to what I do want. So let me get clarity. I want to weigh 175 pounds. I want to wear a large in shirts. I want to wear a 34 in jeans. I want to be fit again. That's step 1 to getting clarity. Now step 2 is me calibrating today. How do I calibrate to that? Sit back, close my eyes, and imagine getting out of the shower and seeing what I want to see. Notice we ain't did no doing. Yeah, we don't even start the doing till step 4. I'm gonna imagine myself getting out of the shower and go, there we go, that's what I'm talking about. I'm imagining myself stepping on the scale and seeing the number that I want to see. I'm imagining myself running up the flight of stairs and feeling like I could do that again if I had— if I wanted to. I'm gonna start imagining that. Did I start cutting out carbs yet?
Nope.
Did I stop going to Starbucks in the morning yet? Nope, we, we ain't there yet. What we're going to do is build the neural pathways that support the habit that we would like to build. I'm gonna get clarity about what I want. That's step 1. Step 2, I'm gonna calibrate to it. I'm gonna start seeing myself as the person doing it. I'm gonna start feeling myself as the person do it. That's calibration. Now, as I start focusing on what I want, I'm gonna start feeling different. If I focus on what I don't want, I'm my feelings gonna be motivated by what I don't want, but by putting my attention on what I want, I'm a Capricorn Tiffy. As I put my attention on what I want, that's gonna produce another set of feelings. Now from this new set of feelings is going to come new ideas. I think it was Einstein that said you can't solve a problem from the same consciousness that you created it at, right? I can't solve this. Weight problem from the same mindset that created the weight problem, because even my current weight is just a manifestation of my thinking, right? For sure, for sure. So I can't, and just just because these are examples has already been floating, I can't come up with the ideas for for good parenting from the mindset of I'm screwing this up. I don't even gotta— before I change my parenting, I gotta change the mindset. You see what I'm saying? Like, I gotta step into a new— I, I can't come up— I can't— I don't even— I can remember my cleaning company. If you come to my stream all the time, you probably heard me tell this story before. In 2020, 2021, I forget which year it was, I owned a cleaning company. And before COVID cleaning company was doing great. My cleaning company was doing a minimum of $15,000 a month. profit. Minimum $15,000 was a slow month. COVID hit, everybody canceled. We— it was one point where we literally had like 4 clients on the schedule, and I was pissed off. I was mad. This wasn't fair. How could they just fire us? And why are they running all this stuff on the news, scaring the hell out of everybody? And it was getting bad. And the angrier I got, the more upset I got, the worse it got. So what did I do? I sat down to run 5C. I wish I would have ran it sooner because I sat in this for about 2 months. The savings account was running low and I was like, all right, I gotta, gotta do something different. So I ran— I got clarity about what I want. I want my business thriving. I want my employees to have work. I, I want to be thriving. I, I got clarity about what I wanted, then I calibrated to what I wanted. I imagine myself logging into my computer and seeing all of these new bookings. I imagine myself having a waiting list again. And in the process of calibrating and allowing myself to feel different, idea just popped into my head. I got it. Let's stop marketing the cleaning service as a luxury cleaning service and let's start marketing the cleaning service as a disinfectant service. People are scared. They're worried about germs. They fired us because they were worried about us bringing bacteria in. What if we were coming in to take bacteria out? What if it was a disinfectant service?
Boom!
Change some stuff on the website, put out some new Google Ads. Within two weeks, we had a waiting list again. Now, the day that everybody canceled, I could have I could have got that idea that same day. But from my mindset of this isn't fair, how could this happen? Yada yada. From my mindset of being pissed off and upset, I didn't even have access to that idea. It was at a different frequency. So the idea wasn't coming to me. I had to raise up to the vibration of the idea. Does that make sense? Until you get calibrated to what you want, it's ideas, it's things you could do right now that's— but that's the thing, it's not even a small— it's the— it's common sense, Top Shelf. But from this place of being mad and upset and being a victim, I didn't even have access to the idea that solved the problem. And I really like— I stretch this out all the time. You can't get what you want until you know what you want. Once you know what you want, you got to get under the influence of it, because when you feel different, you'll think different on accident. And when you think— feeling different and thinking different, you— it like, it's automatic that you act different. But it was nothing stopping me from doing that two months prior. The only thing that was stopping me is the way that I was feeling. Your best ideas on the other side of feeling different. The inspiration that you want is on the other side of feeling different. Your business taking off and doing doing better is on the other side of you feeling different. You gotta learn how to feel good before anything out there changes. And that's what I'm talking about when I say calibrate. Figure out what you want, calibrate to it. Let me get through the rest of the C's. I always slow way down when we go through the 5 C's because I really want y'all to get this stuff. This stuff will change your life if you implement it. So you get clarity. You calibrate to the thing that you got clarity on. How do you calibrate to it? Giving your attention to it, focusing on it, meditating on it, thinking about it, writing about it. Calibrate to it. Okay, now confidence is thirsty. What is confidence? Confidence is being able to remain in that calibration even when things out there don't look the way that you want. I'm calibrated to— I want to be the most motivational, inspirational person in the world. I want to, I want to attract a lot of abundance as I have these types of conversations. Okay, that's what I'm calibrated to. I want to coach people all over the world and teach them you could be, do, and have anything that you desire. That's what I'm calibrated to. Now, because I'm calibrated to that, I don't care if it's 14 people in here, I don't care if it's 140 people, I don't care if it's 100,000 people in here. I'm not calibrated to that number. I'm calibrated to what I desire. I'm not calibrated to. I'm not gonna go, oh man, it's only fourteen people. I'm not calibrated to that number. I'm calibrated to what I to what I set out to do. You feel what I'm saying? I'm not calibrated to what the progress reports say. I'm calibrated to. I'm doing this, and if I got to figure out another way, I'll figure out another way. But I'm doing this. I'm calibrated to my drive. I'm calibrated to my desire. I'm not calibrated to this. You ever been out with your friends and you got that one friend that overdo it? They just drink too, too, too, too much and shit just got real. Like it's time to get serious, but they so drunk they still laughing and playing. You like, hey, I need get in the car. I ain't scared of them, bruh. Get in the car. Like, bro, push them in the car. We ain't got time to. I want you to get so under the influence of what you desire that you become the drunk friend, but not drunk on alcohol. Drunk on your goal. I'm like, I'm so calibrated to what I desire. I don't— a recession? Who? Who? I don't do recessions, bro. They say the economy is just— I'm like, I'm not, I'm not calibrated by that economy. I'm calibrated by these ideas going in. Now, do that mean I ignore the economy? No, I respect the economy. I know what's going on, but I'm not calibrated to that. That's not what moves me. That's not what— I'm not under the influence of that. I'm under the influence of my goal. So you get clarity, you calibrate to the clarity, and confidence is being able to remain in that calibration even when the bank account don't look the way that you want it to look, even when you don't see the number on the scale that you want to see, even when you really wanted a call back from that person, you don't get that call. You don't— you're not under the influence of what's going on out there. You under the influence of that thing that you got clarity on. Does that make sense? So clarity, calibration, confidence. Now the 4th C is competence. After you— after you learn how to remain confidently in the calibration, now we start the doing process. A lot of times people think doing is step one. I want to lose weight, I'm going to the gym tomorrow. That's not doing. Slow down. You got a conscious mind and you got a subconscious mind. Your conscious mind runs off logic, reason, analysis, willpower, and decision-making. Exactly. Logic, reason, analysis, willpower, and decision-making. That's what your conscious mind run off of. Your conscious mind. It's about 2% of your thinking potential. This other 98% of your thinking potential is what we call subconscious logic, reason, analysis, willpower, and decision-making. And that's what most people try to solve problems with. They try to solve problems with logic. Reason, analysis, willpower, and decision-making. But that's 2% of who you are. The subconscious, the 98%, guess what it runs off of? Feeling and emotion. 98% of you runs off of feeling and emotion. Let's talk a little bit about how powerful the subconscious mind is. You ever been in a situation where you notice something And it's a part of you going, hey, it's time to cry. And the 2% going, I don't want to cry right now. And the 2% is squinting the eyes, trying to distract itself, trying to keep those tears from falling. But if the subconscious mind say it's time to cry, guess what? Ain't nothing you can do about it. If the subconscious mind wants to cry, it's going to cry. That's the 98%. Or you ever been in a situation where maybe it's not a good time to laugh? You somewhere serious, like, or And it— but the subconscious mind say, hey, that it's time to laugh. You could try not to laugh, you could try to squint your face, but when the subconscious mind say it's time to laugh, guess what's gonna happen? You gonna laugh. And what we have to learn how to do is we have to learn how to use the subconscious mind to get what we want. You gotta understand those laws of mind, and that's where the clarity comes in. That's where the calibration comes in. That's where the confidence comes in. You guys keeping up with me? Making sense so far? And from that place— what's going on, Madison? What's up, Secret? From that place, that's where we start to implement competence. Competence. Now we get the skills. Look, I don't want you networking. I don't want you going live. I don't want you buying new MacBooks and working on your business plan. I don't want you changing your routine. I don't want you doing anything until you do these first 3 C's. I want you to get clear about what you want, get clarity. I want you to calibrate to the clarity. I want you to remain in that calibration. Then once you learn how to remain in that calibration, now I want you trying new techniques. Now I want you reading new books. Now I want you to livestream. Now I want you to network. Because the reason that everything you've tried hasn't worked up to this point is, for one, you don't got clarity. Even if it's working, how would you know? And the thing about results, sometimes you got to realize results is the last piece to the puzzle. Like, a lot of— like, we hang our success on the wrong stuff. Like, I got tons of certifications and degrees and all of this stuff. But the plaques, the degrees, the certifications—all of that is not what makes me a clinical hypnotherapist, right? My office could burn down; the the certifications, everything could burn with the office. Does that make me unqualified because the because because the certificate burnt? The certificate isn't what certifies me; it's what represents that I'm certified. The money isn't what makes me rich. It's one of the things that represents that I am rich, but it's not what makes me rich. The results don't make me successful. They represent that I am successful, but they not what make me successful. You see what I'm saying? So a lot of times we'll see the the thing. The thing is just a representation of who. You are. It's not what makes you who you are. It's a representation. It represents what the naked eye can't see, but it's not what certifies me. Does that make sense? The money don't make you rich. The money is a symptom of you being rich, but it's not what makes you rich. Being rich is a state of mind. Being a good parent is a state of mind. Being a good entrepreneur is a state of mind. And the outside takes time to catch up to the inside. Okay, if I go plant a seed today, I'm not gonna have a harvest today. But if I leave the seed planted, guess what? It has to give me— it has to— I have to reap what I sow. So I really want you to understand, especially when you got a lot of momentum going in a direction that you don't I'm gonna sow the seed today, but just because I sow it today don't mean that the result is going to show up tomorrow. But if I leave the seed planted, my result has to show up. What a lot of times what people do is they'll implement the new strategy, then get feedback. Oh, it didn't work. What you mean it didn't work? You planted it 30 seconds ago. What you mean it didn't work? It's been two weeks, ain't you? Okay, leave it planted. Leave it planted. Uh, so we I think a few lives ago we talked about um. I'm finna land in a little bit, guys. It's time for me to eat breakfast. I'm I'm getting cloudy. I can feel my I can feel my blood sugar level. So we finna get ready to wrap in a minute because I'm gonna be back live at ten a.m. So I need to take some time to eat. Yeah, I just lost my whole train of thought. Oh, we gotta talk about the role like nutrition and blood sugar levels and all of that stuff playing mental health too. People don't talk about it nearly enough. But um, yeah, I'm finna land. I done completely lost where I was. I gotta eat. I gotta eat. I wasn't even supposed to be live right now. I woke up with a real like powerful desire and the urge to go live. For sure, for sure, inbox me. I'm open, I'm open to stuff that makes sense. I was gonna run for position in union 6 days ago. I became afraid. That's what's up, Top Shelf. Hey y'all, I'm about to, uh— oh, the last C is consistency. But hey, it's, um, I'm Central Time, so it's 8:10 right here. I'm scheduled to go live for 10 AM. So I'm gonna be back live in a little bit, but I gotta take some time and and eat because I can feel myself spiraling down. So let me eat. Let me get some um some protein in my body so that the ten o'clock live can actually be good. If you go on my TikTok page, you can actually subscribe to come to the ten a.m. live so you don't miss it. But yeah, we gonna pick this conversation back up, but I gotta implement a little bit of self care. I'm gonna see y'all in a little bit. Love y'all, ain't nothing y'all can do about it, and we'll pick this same discussion right back up. I'ma see y'all soon for sure.
