Coach Jay explains why your brain obsesses over problems: you've built detailed neural patterns around what you don't want, while your actual goals stay vague. Your nervous system gets hijacked by negative focus. The fix is making your desired outcomes as specific and concrete as your fears.
So when you was talking about what you didn't want, you had stories, you had evidence, you had hand gestures, you had facial expressions, you had data, you had examples, you had proof, you had all of this neural activity around what you didn't want. When we started talking about what you do want— Coach Jay, I just want to be happy. If you were your nervous system, which way would you go? If you were your endocrine system, what type of hormones would you be releasing into your bloodstream? If you were your reticular activation system, what type of things would you be allowing into your awareness? The problem is you got all of this data, all of this stamina, all of this energy cooked up around what you don't want, and what you do want is vague.
