7 Dark Psychology Secrets That Create Instant Respect

Most people believe respect is earned by being nice or even being loud. Respect isn't loud, it's controlled. And that's why they never get what they want in their life. Trying to please everyone doesn't make people listen to you. It makes you predictable. Back in college, I majored in behavioral science and I specialized in neuropsychology, which is shaped by three giants. Sigmund Freud, identity framing. People do who they believe they are. Milton Erickson, the father of hypnotherapy. He made people want to change themselves. And Nicola Machiavelli, the misunderstood genius. Persuasion. What I'm about to share with you is the core. The one thing that allowed me to go from being below average in sales to making multiple seven figures every year as a rep working for a company. No person that's ever talked to you about sales has any background in human behavior and psychology. Or if they do by chance know it, they want to keep it to themselves. I'm going to give you seven secrets that create instant respect. So let's begin. Number one, command silence. Speak surgically. You see, respect doesn't go to the one who talks the most. It goes to the one who talks the least and asks the most. But with the right precision. Here's a rule. No over explaining. No nervous laughter. No. Does that make sense? Silence builds tension. Tension commands attention, and attention becomes respect. So if you're in a conversation, answer a question with the question at the end to take control of the conversation, the frame. I'm going to show you some examples. Number two, own the frame with the first question. High status doesn't start with a statement. It starts with a question that sets the agenda. In any pq, we call this stage framing. Let me give you an example of how this might work. Let's say you're in sales. You have a meeting. They've already been talking to their team. You come into the room, you could start with this. Okay, so just so I don't go over things that you might have already talked about with my team, maybe you could give me your thoughts around kind of what you've talked about so far and then maybe what you'd like to cover. That way we could focus on you and what you guys might be looking for. What did I do there? I just flipped the frame back to them. Okay. Now they start to tell me and qualify to me what they might be looking for. And now I know where to take the conversation. I just controlled the destination. Everyone's answers flow to me. See how that works? Number three, Status. Preserving no. Low status says yes to avoid discomfort. They say yes to everything. High status says no without apology. You could use this exact line depending on the context. I'm not quite sure that would work for me, but I can give you two options that would. Would that help you more? No defensiveness. No biography of explaining why they wouldn't work. Just options. Now, why does that work? Why is that important for you? Because it shows that you have boundaries which create value. Scarcity creates respect. So here's what I want you to do. Say one clean no today and replace it with two acceptable alternatives. Number four. Gaze, pace and blink. Control your eyes and pace. Telegraph status. Slow blink rate. Still head measured delivery. When you're about to say something really important, you want to lower your volume slightly and slow down. Or you want to say one word really fast and then slow down. I could say something like this. Here's the part you're going to want to pay attention to. Or listen, this is important to you. See the difference? Listen, this is important to you. See the difference in the tone. Why do I do that? Because it interrupts the pattern. That's called a pattern interrupt. Humans will follow calm. Calm equals control. So here's what I'm going to have you do today. Record a 60 second voice note, cut your speed down, slow down by 30 or 40%. And on the strongest sentence you want them to focus on, drop your volume, lengthen the pause. That's called verbal pausing. Number five. Strategic scarcity of access. Being everywhere is cheap. Being selective. That means status. Let's say a friend is pressuring you for your time, like they want to go out with you or something. You don't want to go out with them. You can say, hey, send me the details and I'll get back to you to see if I'm going to be available on that. I'm not quite sure. Okay, you can keep that vague. You can keep that where you're not always available. Scarcity raises perceived value in your friend's mind. People respect what they can't constantly have access to. People disrespect what is easily available. Number six. Don't react. A jab, a snarky comment, a public challenge in front of people. What would most people do? They would react. But that's not you. You're going to observe three steps to do that. You're going to breathe once, pause for a second, and you can label calmly. Depending on the conversation, you can say sounds like you have a concern. Then you're going to redirect to the question, what outcome are you hoping to get from this? Now? Why does that work? Because you just converted an attack into information. Attackers lose power when they have to explain themselves. Now they're on the defensive, not you. So here's what I'm going to do. When challenged, ask one neutralizing question to lower the person's guard before you answer at all. Number seven, calibrated praise. Random compliments signal neediness. Calibrated praise raises identity. And then you can channel it. So I'm going to give you an example. Let's say that you're in a meeting and a lot of people there and you want somebody to do something for you. You could lean over and say, hey, you seem like the type of person who thinks fast. I noticed that when we met today. And your boss, they're lucky to have somebody like you. That is that forward thinking and willing to help out. Because, you know, I talk to a lot of people in here and you'd be surprised how many of them, they're just here to collect a check. They could care less about going that extra mile and helping out now, even if they're not willing to help, even if they're not forward thinking, no one's going to argue with that identity. They're like, yeah, that's me, right? And then did you see what I said in the negative identity part, the second part of that frame? I simply said, I talk to a lot of people and you'd be surprised how many of them, they're just here to collect a check. They're not even willing to help anybody out. You know what I mean? Nobody wants to be that person, that negative identity. And then to strengthen that identity at the end, what did I say? I said for you, like being that willing to help out, is that something you were born with or something you had to learn? No. No matter what they say, yes, I've always been that way, or no, I had to learn. See how they're now buying into that identity of the person who's willing to help out. So at the end of that, I could then come back and say, if I wanted him to do something, to say, hey, by the way, would you mind helping me out with something? More than likely they're going to say, what? No, of course. They'll be like, yeah, sure, because you're building them into that identity of the person who's willing to help. That's what's called an NEPQ identity frame. All we're doing is we're building them into the identity of the person who wants to help, they're buying into that new identity. So what do I want you to do? I want you to start using this. So remember, people act in ways that protect the identity that you've just elevated. So here's what I'm going to have you do. Give one specific trait based compliment. Immediately connect it to an action. That's it. That's all you have to do. So in closing, remember, discipline over dominance. These seven levers aren't about being louder, they're about being inevitable. Silence instead of scrambling. Silence instead of winging it. Questions instead of over explaining or speeches. Boundaries instead of apologies. Certainty over uncertainty. Calm instead of fireworks. Use them today and you're going to notice the shift very, very quickly. Conversations slow down around you. It's like you're in the matrix. People will measure your words. Rooms will wait for your take before they even move. This isn't luck. This is skill. This is psychology. And yes, a little Machiavelli. Now, would you want the exact languaging that creates this effect? You want this book? Then this is called the NEPQ Black Book of Questions 273 Science Back. Questions and phrases that are going to elevate your status, lower people's guard and make people follow your lead without you ever having to force anything. Click the link in the description. My team will get it right over to you and thanks for watching.