7 Ways To Outsmart Manipulators

You are being steered, you're being pressured, emotionally pulled, without even realizing it. Could be your teacher, your boss, your parents, even your girlfriend. Whatever it is, you're not losing deals, relationships or respect because you're a nice guy. You're losing because someone else is already controlling the frame and you don't even notice it's happening to you. So in this video, I'm going to give you seven ways to outsmart manipulators. In business, in relationships, everyday life. You're being framed. And not in a good way. You see, in college I majored in neuropsychology, but studying the brain, how it works with a human's nervous system. And one person we studied was Niccolo Machiavelli. The guy, the church, his entire country, the system around him, even the elite, they banned his writings. What I'm about to go over with you, it took me 18 years of high level training in the trenches of persuasion and influence. So I'm going to give it to you starting right now. Number one, pattern recognition. I want you to think about who's actually controlling this conversation. Because before you can flip the frame where you're in control, that conversation, you have to recognize patterns in human beings. Because manipulators don't usually start with big moves. You know this, right? They start with what we call micro tests or stepping over your boundaries. They might say, well, I would do this for you. And then you just do it because you're nice. So instead of trying to change their mind, what if we learned how to change their identity? How to get them into the identity of the person you want them to be. So what's the first step? Simply ask yourself, what are they actually wanting from me right now? Like, if you keep giving money to that person, you're going to end up giving way more. There's a pattern you're starting to recognize who really ends up with more control. If I keep playing along with this game, just noticing those patterns already moves you out of victim mode into observer mode. Most people don't even know that because you know how, how to recognize patterns in others. If you're in sales, for example, Prospect might have a belief system that they always have to talk to their spouse before they make a decision. That's their frame, that's their belief system. So once you see what their belief system is, we call that the frame. Remember, you then can do what's called the D frame. You want to master this? And I'm going to show you a few examples of that today, especially number six and seven. Of this training. Let's get to number two. Number two, emotional neutrality. Feel everything in private. Show almost nothing in public. A manipulator's greatest weapon is not their words. It's your emotional reaction to their words. They say hateful things. What do you do? You defend. They guilt trip you. You over explain. They flatter you. You what? You over give. We have to learn how to emotionally connect, to master influence and persuasion. To flip the frame in private. I process everything in public, around anyone I see, manipulating me. I give nothing. Maybe depending on the context, let's say someone posts a hateful video or comment about you on social media. Instead of being like everybody else, reacting because that's what they want from you. To control you, to take your time, your energy, you say nothing. Number three, time control. We're gonna slow the game down so you can actually see the game that's being played. You see, Machiavelli understood timing better than most modern CEOs. He knew this. If you react too fast, you don't see the knife until it's already in you. Manipulators use urgency to control you every single day. Hey, I need an answer right now. Or, hey, if you cared, you'd call me back tonight. Or the opportunity's gone if you don't decide by today. From now on, when you feel that pressure spike, I want you to automatically think in your mind. This kind of feels rushed. Maybe I should slow down. Or maybe this person's trying to manipulate me. This is not playing games. This is protecting your brain from being hijacked. What important information am I not seeing because I'm being rushed? When you create space, manipulators show you their cards. They switch from charm to what? Defensiveness. And they become angry. You've seen this before, right? Sometimes even soften and suddenly become understanding to reel you back in. And you can tell. All of that is intel for you to make an assessment. Now you're learning how to recognize patterns. Number four, flip the frame. Make them explain their own game. You see, most manipulators rely on you being too polite to question them. Machiavelli taught rulers to let others reveal themselves first. Maybe ask a clarifying question, like, how do you mean by sensitive? Or what's behind that comment? Or do you want me to be mean to people? Or actually kind, playful tone, depending on the context. Now what am I doing there? I'm flipping the frame, and now who's defending the manipulator? They're the ones doing what. They're the ones explaining. They're justifying. Not you, my friend. Or let's say somebody piles on fake praise to you. You're the only one who ever shows up for me. You're so amazing. Instead of soaking it up and doing anything they ask you to next, you might smile and say it's causing you to say that now more of a cautious tone. You're not aggressive. You're curious. You're cautious. Because the more they talk, the clearer their patterns to you become. And now who has control? You do. Not them. Number five. Control the praise. Stop being addicted to their approval. You see, most people don't realize how often they're being controlled by their need to feel approval from other people. Every day, without knowing it, you are negotiating your behavior against one question. Will they still like me if I don't? And manipulators know this, so they use excessive praise to stroke your ego or guilt trips to and disappointment to pull at your conscience. We're going to notice those patterns and flip that frame completely. We're going to get them to seek our approval. We make our approval the scarce resource so they desperately crave it. So you might respond like this. Just low key, detached. What would cause you to want me to come to your event? Just a simple clarifying question. No gushing? No. Oh, my gosh, thank you so much. Sure, I'd love to come. No. Automatic yes. You're sending the signal. I'm aware of my value. I don't need your praise to validate that. Or what if they maybe guilt trip you? After everything I've done for you, you can't even do this one thing. Your old response is to do what? Defend yourself over? Explain why you don't have time. Your new response, though, it's probably not going to work with my schedule. I'm pretty busy right now. No extra explanation? No. Long story. The manipulators, the ones who try to control you, it's going to escalate. They're either going to get defensive or they just drift away. And either way, you just won. You have the control. Number six. Strategic vagueness. Stop giving them a map to your mind. Manipulators. What do they need? Coordinates. Your fears. What you desperately want. The more clear and transparent you are with the wrong people, the easier it is for them to take advantage of you. So instead of oversharing, you start to use purposeful vagueness when someone pushes. Can you do XYZ for me, please? You might respond. I'm not quite sure what's behind the request. Now I'm in control. You see, I'm flipping the frame and instead of you explaining, you defending, they're explaining, they're defending. Short, calm, close the loop. Number seven, detached power. Leaving is a real option for you. And you want them to feel that. A manipulator's power, a narcissist power, dies. It's crushed the moment you actually walk away. And you mean it. There's two pieces of this. Number one, what we call the silent observer. You control the data. You study your options. Maybe in a workplace environment, you keep records of emails, maybe you keep track of performance, you build relationships. Outside that one, toxic manager. I think you're starting to notice the difference. You're noticing the patterns, right? And patterns tell you everything. Internally, you're already starting to plan your exit, my friend. Number two, the quiet exit mystery. You don't have to announce, hey, if you keep this up, I'm going to leave. In fact, that usually has no power because they don't believe you. You have a life that clearly exists outside of them. You're going places. You work on your financial independence, your network, your emotional stability, so that if or when you decide to walk, you actually can ask yourself, if I truly believed I didn't need this person, how would my tone change with them tomorrow? What would I start building today so that staying becomes a choice, not a punishment? They can't gaslight someone who's willing to exit. That's when you move from trying to survive them to deciding whether they should even have a seat in your life. So to recap, number one, pattern recognition patterns tell you everything. Number two, emotional neutrality. Number three, time control. Number four, use questions to flip the frame. Number five, control the frame. Make yours the approval they desperately seek. Number six, strategic vagueness. Number seven, detached power. That's nepq. Neuro. Emotional Persuasion questions. That's Machiavellian awareness. And that's how you stop being the one who gets played and start being the one in full control of your life. Now, you might be thinking, if I do all this, that you're saying, jeremy, everybody's going to notice. They're going to think I'm weird or something. So I'm the one giving you permission to do this so you can change your life so you don't have to live in a system where everybody controls you. You, you're going to start controlling your own life to be successful like you want to be. Whatever question you have, text me right now. 480-637-2944. And either myself or someone in my office, we'll get back to you and answer your questions. So what's your next step? Hit the subscribe button. And for God's sake, do not share this video with anyone who you feel might be manipulating you right now. Until next time.