Divine King - ENJOYMENT - 9 9 2023

And.

As we talked about really, last week for us gentlemen, what we're all going to be doing now is we're going to be kind of continuing to just be aware of what's available for us on the side of lightness and happiness and joy. And we'll talk a little bit more about that this week. We had some great discussions last week, some really good chats about saying no. Saying yes. Does anyone have any examples or a good story of when they were able to step into. Know when they were stepping to yes?

Yeah, Ritz was. Ritz was pressuring me to do one of our. Our podcasts on a Friday that I was feeling terrible on, so I had to tell him no.

All right. All right.

And I normally have a really hard time telling him no because that's my boy.

Sure. That's a good example, though. It is.

I have a hard time telling him no for anything because he's always there for me and hopefully vice versa. So when that Friday came, I was like, I am just not feeling it. I can't today. Like, I gotta tell him no.

Hey, well done. I still love you, bro.

I know.

Yep.

Nice. What about you, Ritz?

Any.

Any nose out there for you, Mr. Yes Man? Let me. Let me think on it. I'm. I know there's a few. I. A little groggy this morning. I need to think. Nothing's coming right to me.

Yeah, Definitely gave away. I definitely gave away more than a hundred bucks to. To, you know, like, people on the streets.

Nice. That's cool. Yeah.

So that was one of our things for this week or last week, right? Or was that the week before? I did it this awesome, man.

I love it. Heck, yeah. That was really great. Well, so, yeah. So now, gentlemen, we're just going to talk about the traits, physical traits, personality traits, internal traits of someone who lives at a. Just a different altitude of consciousness. And we're going to be discussing this divine masculine energy, just the energy that allows everyone around you to feel safe, including kids, including women, including your wife. It's a very, very good barometer of you being aware of if you are in your divine masculine, if your woman feels very safe with you, and if she doesn't, it's because you are not in divinity. Simple as that. That easy. So let's talk a little bit about intimacy. Now, intimacy means into me. You see, and this is a part where a lot of men love to skip over, because we feel that intimacy and relationships is about what we can get from the other person. Had a really good conversation Last night with our boy Paul, who's here with me and Paul, tell us a little bit about the discussion that you were having about the feelings you had towards the relationship that you were in and your realization of how you were treating that relationship from a need and comfort standpoint.

Yeah. Can you guys hear me okay?

Yep.

Yeah. So I just. Just got out of a relationship recently and definitely was in my boy energy throughout most of it. Looking, looking back on it, I stayed in it so long because it was comfortable and it filled a need when you needed it. No different than you want a snack, you go grab a snack. Like, it was just. It was there and it was available. And throughout the last several weeks, I've started to realize, like, how big of a role where I was played in our relationship and how it affected our dynamic. And as I've obviously tried to move more towards Prince and King, I've started to realize, you know, all right, well, what. Have what boyish tendencies and habits was I pushing out onto her and into the relationship that was keeping me from getting what I wanted out of it, not realizing it's not her fault, it's my fault. You're a idiot.

I'm literally going through the same thing now with my marriage.

Yep. It's fascinating, man. It's great.

It's like.

It's.

It's 100 my fault. Like, I would say. Yeah, I'm just going to take the. It's 100 my fault.

Yeah, totally.

Because I was in bully mode literally the entire time up until about, I would say, probably 90 days ago. Yeah.

Yep. And you know what was cool for you, Edmund, and also for Paul is Paul didn't realize this until he was able to get alone with his thoughts. Right. Be alone with himself. Right. Be. He didn't really. Paul specifically didn't have a problem with drinking, but he had a problem with codependency.

Yeah, I do, too. Same thing. Like, being alone is, like, one of my biggest fears.

Sure. 100%. And I love. I love what we're talking about that. Because, gentlemen, this is how you. This is how you build that intimacy with yourself. Is that aloneness? Right. Because if you cannot create intimacy with yourself, you're not gonna be able to create true intimacy with other people either. And so depression, sadness, and anxiety are your soul's calling to look deeper within yourself.

That's exactly what happened to me. Like, it was, I would say, about probably a year ago to where I'm like, okay, I have the house, I have the wife, I have the kids. I Have the cars, I have the money. Why do I still feel up inside? And it was literally my soul telling me that you. It's you internally, you are not acting at what you want to be and how you are behaving, are not in line with one another. And then I finally came to the realization. I'm like, okay, this is a you problem. This is a soul problem. Like. Like, this is your soul. This is your anxiety, all your anxiety, all your depression. It's not from alcohol. It's not from this. Although that contributed. It's an internal conflict with your higher being and how you're behaving.

Yeah, dude, that was. That's what.

That's what woke me. That's what woke me up. To legit, like, try to find the divine.

Wow.

That's what.

Wow, wow, wow. That's powerful. That's powerful. Now this one is. This one's big, gentlemen.

Right?

This one's big. And I'll tell a lot of you right now that these. When you're feeling anxious. I've. I've had actually a conversation with two or three of you as well, in text message form. You're like, man, the last two weeks, I just kind of. I kind of been feeling off. I've been feeling sad. I've been feeling a little. A little weird. Well, that's because we're transcending into unknown territory, little bitches. We've gone deep down now we're going really high. Like, we're going into territories that we haven't been into before. And so your soul's like, what's happening with this? Because even if you don't think that this is shifting, what we're doing right now is we're in a container of energy. We are thinking different things, we are pondering different things, and we have no stimulus to allow ourselves to. To not feel right.

We're.

We're not able to block it. I mean, it'd be so easy for me and Paul to have a bunch of coffee and drink a bunch of alcohol on this race that we're doing this week. It's like, it'd be so easy to. To block off some of these emotions and just to. To dampen ourselves. But that's why it's happening, is because it takes weeks to really detox the system of all chemicals. And once you have essentially a dopamine flush, scientifically, this is what allows you to start really feeling your emotions and dealing with them. Because it's a struggle.

Yeah, it's a struggle. Like, my mind will not Stop racing. And what I realized I was doing is not only will it stop racing, but I obsessed on the thoughts. And noble like I was, I would use alcohol to, to dull that, to numb that so I didn't have to feel it.

Bingo.

And then, and I just went to the doctors the other day because I was so close to getting put on like medicine. But I spoke to your wife the other day and she was like, do not do it. Like, not right now. She was like, we'll discuss medicine later. But right now.

Yeah, you don't even.

Yeah, you need to battle those thoughts.

Yeah. And here. And gentlemen, here's how we do the, here's how we do the battling. Right? I posted the link of the 12 hour walk this weekend. The way that men do this, the way that you get out of your funks, the way that you calm your mind down is you put your body and your soul in extreme scenarios for an extreme period of time. That's how you do it. These extreme scenarios can be whatever, but that's why men have become and always will be the greatest athletes in the world. The greatest, the greatest explorers in the world is because we love to put ourselves into these moments where it's extreme. So because I asked, I asked Paul last night, I was like, Paul, what's, what's the longest that you've ever meditated continuously in your life, right? And he's like minutes or hours. Walking for 12 hours is a meditative process, right? Josh has done it. Josh and our group has done it. I've done this a few times, but I would highly encourage you guys this weekend. Even if you got your family, you got your kids, you got your friends around, like find if you can, if you can't exactly this weekend than maybe Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, but go out on a 12 hour hike. And here's the best part. No phone. Don't take your phone with you. Be you fully by yourself, fully connected to yourself. Because these are the moments of enjoyment. This is actually one of my favorite quotes. I love this one. Enjoy. We enjoy, right? Because a lot of times you're there, you're just not enjoying it. You should be happy, but you're not. You have all the recipes for happiness, but you're not. So if you are not enjoying life or the things in your life, you are blocking your flow. That's just what you're doing. And you have the opportunity to enjoy the place you live, enjoy the work you do and enjoy the people you interact with. Because without divine masculine energy, this is a big Key gentleman. There's no enjoyment. You. You feel like everything is a task. You feel like everything is a chore. You feel like you're just doing everything in hopes that something happens. But when you have this type of energy, it's all awesome, Very enjoyable, very incredible, very easy, very simple. So enjoyment's a very, very big piece. Is like, am I doing this right? And you'll know, you'll know deep down if you're feeling joy or not. Right? When Paul and I had a super deep conversation last night, it was awesome. But Paul was saying, like, man, I had this relationship and I knew I should have been happy, but I wasn't. Like, I would. I would be happy for moments, minutes, 10 minutes, an hour. And then I would go back to my daily, like, how can I win at life? Type of mentality, and I would go and buckle down at work or I would go and do whatever, go to the gym or go play baseball with my friends. And it was just. It was just one chore to the next chore, one thing to do to the next thing. But there wasn't really any absolute, total joy and pleasure that was being had there.

Let me ask you this question. If you know that, if you know that's going on with your, like, for example, right now, like with my wife, like, that's pretty much a hundred percent my story. What in the hell do you do? If you've created this life together, you have assets, you have all that stuff together, and you have the most important part. Two beautiful children that you love dearly. How do you go about, like, if you feel like, okay, you're in the wrong relationship or. I don't. I don't even know if that's what it is. I don't even know if, like, if I know I'm in the wrong relationship. But like, how, like, what. What do you do in that situation? Because, like, there's kids involved and we all know what happens when divorce occurs.

Yeah, totally. Well, what. What's beautiful is earlier you said that. That the relationship was so shitty because it was 100. Your fault.

Yeah.

Remove 100 of that and then start the relationship over. Right. Get to figure out if you Want to be.

Re.

Re. Be with that person, you know? And that. That's exactly what Paul said last night.

That's what we're doing. Yeah, that's exactly what we're doing.

Yeah.

We need to hang out, bro.

Yeah, me and you need to hang out. Is that what you said? Yeah. 100.

Yeah.

Because, guys, here's. Here's the cool part, right? If you become the man that you're. That you want to be, truly like, if we, if we become him, when we become him, that man, that ultimate incredible source of love, light and energy and just positive vibes, enjoyment, love, just an awe inspiring human to be around. Any woman in the world would want.

To be with you.

And so then you get to pick. Do I want to be that man or not? And if you say yes, you can easily heal the relationship with the lady that you want to be with, or the lady that you're currently with, or whoever. It's up to you.

Gotcha.

Because. Because then she gets you again, right? That's what's happening, is it? You don't. We don't choose the lady. We should let her choose us. Does she want to still be with us? And if she says no?

Gotcha.

Then we move on.

Gotcha.

We've hurt her.

She wants to go be with someone else. Like, she deserves better. If we're an amazing human being and she wants to be with us, then fantastic. But if not, hey, whatever. But in your situation. But since you're married, this is a chance for you to redo your vows, reconnect, have different. I know you just spent time with her alone, which was awesome. A few days. How was that, by the way?

So in the beginning. So check this out. In the beginning, we. There were three, four hour trip, three and a half hours, not a single word to one another all the way down that. Do you know how uncomfortable that was for me? So I was, I was in my head the entire time, like, yeah, this relationship's over. This is done. Like, just turn this truck around, rip the band aid off, be done with this. And finally I said, okay, we got to stop at a rest stop. So I'll break the community, I'll break the silence. And I said, look, I gotta use the bathroom. Gotta pull in here. Are you good? And she's like looking at me like, yeah. And I'm like, you are? She's like, yeah, this is like really nice. And. And I'm like, huh? And she's like, yeah, the wind, the windows are down. We're listening to country music. It's quiet, it's peaceful. I'm just taking in the beautiful scenery, like, this is nice. And I'm like, that's what you're thinking in your head. And she's like, yeah. Why?

What?

What are you thinking? I'm like, oh, you don't even want to know what I'm thinking right now. I was, I was like, but you're okay? And she's like, yeah, I'm fine. Like, I'm kind of curious to see where we're going and what we're going to do for my birthday. And the whole time I'm like thinking that she's thinking that I don't want to be here. I don't want to be with him. Like, I'm not talking to him. And it was, it was the complete opposite of what I was thinking.

Yep.

Right. So then. And to keep it shorter, the first night we got there, I gave her. We had, you know, we got into the tiny home. She loved the farm. I could tell she was in her happy place. I gave her a bottle of wine. I didn't drink. She drank the whole thing. And, bro, she let loose. Like, she ripped my ass for everything, everything and anything I've ever done. And she remembers it all good. And I, I sat there like a man and I took it. I literally, I let her rip my ass. And I agreed with her. I said, listen, everything you're saying is right. There's a couple little things that I think are off, but we don't need to talk about that now. Everything you're saying is right. And she's like, she. The relief that it looked like she had on her face was unbelievable. So then the next morning we both woke up and I said, let's just go to sleep. I didn't ask for sex or anything. I said, let's just go to sleep. So we went to sleep, woke up the next morning, and I was thinking, I was like, she wants to go home. I was like, do you want to go home? She was like, nope. I said, do you want to spend a day here together or do you want to be by yourself? What do you want to do? She was like, no, let's do it together. And we spent the rest of the weekend hiking in the woods, reconnecting. At least in my opinion, right? Realizing, like, okay, we do have things in common again. And she actually taught me how to sit in peace without the phone and just enjoy nature and the peace and quiet. And I loved it. It was the first time, first time ever, I ever was able to feel like I'm at peace. And we drove back home and there was about a two hour period of silence. And I was, okay.

Wow, There we go. Dude, what a remarkable shift, Evan. Congratulations, man.

Yeah, because normally I would have gave it right back to her.

Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, that's. That's a throw down divorce type of discussion.

Yeah. And I. And I. I laid in bed and I remembered a feeling like, bro, that is GROSS Right there.

100%, man. I'm so proud of you. Like that. That's. That's king energy, my guy. That's king energy. Now here's the beautiful part. So me and Paul, I was telling last night, I literally did the same thing with my ex wife. I did the exact same thing with her before, right? I was like, hey, I got her all liquored up and I was like, go at me, whatever you want to say. Like, tell. Ask me all the questions. Let her heal. Because that's how women heal, right? Women heal through venomous words. They can't fight us. So what are they gonna. What are they gonna do?

She was destroying me.

Sure.

And it actually destroyed me to see her. To see what I did to her. It destroyed me. Like, I was like, bro, you did that to another. You made another person feel that way.

Yep.

Because I was acting in little boy mood and it was all about me. And she was an object. She wasn't an individual. Like, I was talking to her from her whole life for the last 15 years. It was never an adult to adult conversation. It was parent to child.

Wow.

I was the parent, she was the child. She complies.

Wow. Wow, wow, wow.

How crazy is it?

Incredible. Incredible. Not only crazy, but so true. Because the thing is, like, how many other men are in relationships just like that. And gentlemen, here's why this next slide is going to hit you like a ton of bricks. So be prepared. You have addictions to struggle. That's the problem, right? You don't want ease in your life.

Oh, my God, this is so funny. Your wife said to me, edmund, you're addicted to chaos. You need chaos in your life.

Y. We all do, Evan. Like you for sure, but every one of us, right? It's like we have to realize that if we're addicted to chaos, it's like we're addicted to sugar. This is why. This is why you. You had the big turning moment, is because you. You figured out the other parts of your life. You said the work, work, money, house, right? You had a foundation. But for those of us who don't have that foundation yet, for those of you who might not have it, you're still addicted to struggle. You want everything to be hard. You want everything to be a proving ground. You want everything to be a competition so that you can win, so that you finally feel like you're enough.

Jeremy Ritz. Think about this, bro. It's a big conversation.

Yeah. Guys, this is big because it can be as easy as you want it to be, Right? Things can be very simple. We don't have to compete. We can go do hard things. Trust me. That's why I put the ice barrel in here. This is 400 pounds of ice, by the way. 400 pounds of ice for 20 minutes. I had hypothermia for two days. It was great. That was really unique. But this. This. This particular day sucked. But it wasn't because I'm addicted to it. I'm actually addicted to ease. I love everything being so easy and simple and soft and beautiful and flowing. I ha. I have to go choose to do hard things. I choose to remind myself that I can be a venomous Viking. I can be a victorious hero. But I want to put myself in ease because that's. It's better for my heart. Right?

That's the struggle with me. Like, I need to. Like. Because I love chaos. I need to learn ease.

If you have. If you have a negative mindset about ease, your life will always be hard.

Yep.

How do you.

Ease is boring. That's how I have ease labeled as ease is boring.

Okay, Paul?

Yeah. So how do you get out of that mindset without just living life on like, you. You obviously still do all this hard shit. In my mind, it's like, well, if I stop that struggle and if I stop doing whatever it is that I'm doing and I stop overworking myself, then I'll just be fat and lazy and sure, I'll be happy for the first two months of that, but it's like, you can't sit on a beach forever.

Yeah, good question. So, guys, the way we do this is we change the definitions of what's going to happen to us when things are easy and simple. That's it. We change definitions because I. We have the definitions. We have the identities. We have the beliefs that you have to work hard for success. You have to work hard for money. You have to. It's like, well, look at Mark Zuckerberg. He didn't really work that hard. He did one coding for, like 18 hours one night, and now he's the richest man. You know what I'm saying? It's like, it's not that hard. If we sit down and we think for a moment, if we change the definitions of ease and simplicity and winning. Winning doesn't have to be the most outright challenging thing in the world, because, again, gentlemen, keep in mind, it can be. We get to choose. If you want to suffer and still win, you can. But if you want it to be very easy, you still can. We have to change the definition. There's a very, very good term. I like this term a lot, you guys. Have you heard the phrase you can't have your cake and eat it too? That phrase, when you start realizing that not only can you have your cake, but the cake can be made by a Michelin star chef and it can be served to you on a private island. Edmund, Jeremy, like we can enjoy these absolutely spellbinding life experiences that we never would have thought happened because it just came from ease. And the way we do it is when we're in the moment, we begin to choose the word easy, simple, beautiful, luxurious. When we're in the moment, we get addicted to the. Just the calmness of simplicity because it doesn't always have to be hard. So what questions do we have about this one, guys?

Well, I was going to say that in the last couple of weeks I, I noticed myself. I don't know, it just seems like I've always had chaos. Like I always. Like I'm addicted to it. But like in the last couple of weeks it seems like that I've had this shift, this mind shift of, of make things just being easy. And for example, like I had it with, with trading. My, my trading. I noticed that I was just trying to make things difficult. And like right now I'm trying to fund some accounts and I was trying to just put more obstacles in front of myself instead of making it easy. And in the last week I, I've. It. It's just come so much easier. Like I, I don't know, it was just like the mind shift. And I'm at a conference this weekend for real estate. And the first night I was here, I was, I was struggling and I just had. I, you know, I was just going through things and realized that, you know, I just need to let go and, and, and, and let it, Let it be what it is. And like yesterday it was so much easier for me to just engage and, and be present with people. So it's kind of cool.

Amazing realization. Matt, that's awesome, man. Yeah, well done. Well done. Because team we are. We're addicted to struggle. That's all it is. We, we need. We're trying to prove something to someone. I don't know who it is. It could be, it could. You could be proving it to yourself. It doesn't have to be your dad, doesn't have to be your mom. You could be proving to yourself that you're worthy. But here's the Truth. The truth is, you do need to prove something to yourself.

So your wife brought this up yesterday when I met with her. She was like. She was like, okay, you're a words of affirmation person, right? So. Or not words of affirmation, but you need, like, other people to tell you they love you. You need other people to tell you, you know, hey, you're doing a great job. You need other people to tell you, like, all these positive things about you, right? She was like that. She was like, that's the problem. You're seeking it from other people. And what you need to do is seek it within yourself. Tell yourself, like, bro, look at your growth. Like, bro, look at your. Like, I love this new change about you. Like, it's. It's got to come from within, because if you're going to seek it from everywhere else, you may not find it. And it has to come from what has to come from within.

There we go, gentlemen. That's the secret to life said by Edmund. The secret to life. That is it. That's what we have to do. That's how we let go of the addiction of struggle. That's how we make things easy. As Brittany Turner says, the words that you use create the world that you live in. We need to say the things to ourselves. If most of you said to me what you say to yourself in your mind, we wouldn't be friends.

No, not at all. It's. It's bad. Like, the. That I. The that I've been saying to myself not only. Not only over the years, but like, within, like, these last couple months. Like, that scene, like, the damage that I caused in my relationship. I'm like, you're a piece of. Like, you're like, you just might as well suck on the barrel of a gun. Like, this is, like, terrible. Like, look what you did to another human. Like, you suck.

Yeah.

Yep.

And so if Edmund started saying that to me, like, we wouldn't be friends very long, right?

Nope.

So, guys, it's like, think. Think about that for a moment. You are saying those things to yourself all the time. All the time. So start changing that inner dialogue. Start changing the inner dialogue to, dude, you're doing amazing, man. Like, look how far you've come. Look what you've accomplished today. Look what you've accomplished this week. And trust me, this is always easier said than done. Everything is. Everything is. If you want to go prove yourself and you want to go struggle, choose it, pick it, be mindful of it and go enjoy the struggle. But use that struggle As a representation that you can go do anything else that you want to in life. Which if you guys think a 12 hour walk is particularly easy, it's not.

No.

Because you're going to end up doing around 33 miles.

Yeah.

You know, so, so I'm really happy for Paul because he finally gets to experience a week of challenge this week because we're gonna. I don't know if you guys know this, but we're riding across Tennessee on a bicycle. So we're not doing the entire state. The way it works is we're staying at one campground and we're just doing the equivalent. So we're going where it's like an out and back. So it's gonna be about a hundred miles a day on average. Which it's, which a lot. It's a lot on a bike. I think being that an Ironman is only 114 miles one day, it's like we're going to do 100, we're going to do that every day. So it's, it's going to be relatively challenging. In three days from now. Paul's not going to be happy, but he's going to get to know, hey, I chose this. This is a characteristic of me winning. This is how I can pick me winning. This can be my struggle so that everything else in my life can be super easy, super simple and I can get to choose. Can I push past the pain when I have to? Because I get to, I get to do this. This is a gift. Does that make sense? Shown. Is it making sense? Calvin, do you have any questions on this brother?

No, it makes sense.

Okay. All right. So this is a really great time to do this. So, so I'm gonna turn my camera on for just a quick second. I've noticed some of you do this before. I've actually seen you do it. I love telling people certain things about themselves, like how rich they are, how strong or how happy or how tall or whatever. Learn to receive with ease. This has been so challenging for me, guys. It's, it's really, really difficult. I'm not a great receiver, but the reason I turn my camera on, many, many, many of you, if you get complimented by, let's just say me or anyone else, you'll do this physically with your body. You'll go, ah, no, no, no, not, not me.

Yeah, your hugs are a little awkward.

You guys will literally, you'll literally brush, you'll brush compliments away. I've seen, I've seen people do this all the time. They'll they'll take their hand and they'll, like. They'll, like, stiff arm the compliment, right? They'll put their hand over their heart, they'll stiff arm and they'll go, no, no, no, no, not me. Like, I'm not that great. Have you guys seen that happen before? You'll see.

Never. Never. I've never done that.

Just.

Not at all.

Never.

That's right. And it's a really, really interesting thing for us to go, like, wait a minute. I'm bad at receiving. Holy shit. Like, this is a big one. Because if you have a hard time receiving, guess what? You have a hard time receiving everything. Everything that you're trying to be given. Because you guys don't know what's crazy, this one was a tough one for me. Right here. Practice receiving from other people. Pleasure in the bedroom. Now, when I say receiving, I think you guys all know what I'm talking about. That state where you're like, you're asking for something, or you're just sitting back and letting it happen, and you're not doing anything but just enjoying yourself. And you're not in the. You're not in your brain thinking, how can I make this about me? Or how can I make this about her? It's neither one of those things. It's a. It's a literal mind shift of, I am actually receiving this. I am. I am going to take this energy that someone else is giving me and keep it. Because. Especially for my stock traders or my investors or my day traders or my people who out there who have a tr. Who have a struggle with money. This is what you're struggling with right here. You have a really hard time of keeping people's energy because money is energy. So you have to begin to feel worthy of your dream life and all of your desires.

See, I feel like I do this one pretty good.

Yeah, that's fine.

But.

But, Evan, do you struggle with money?

No.

No. That's why. Right? So you're good. You can receive well. So the last slide, you're like, oh, yep, that's me. It's like, well, this is a whole other piece. Because these are all traits of a king. A divine king can do all of these things very well. He can receive well. He's. He doesn't have addictions to struggle. He can be in enjoyment all the time. Extremely often. These are all traits. So this is something that I've practiced, man. Like receiving gifts, like when I get gifts. You know, I used to think the first time I. When I started getting Gifts, and people would give me something. I'll go, how much does this cost? That's what my brain was.

Or what do you really want?

Yeah. Oh, a good one. It's like, oh, you're giving me, like.

Okay, you're giving me a gift. What do you want?

Wow, dude, that's big. That's real big. So be. Be looking for when you start to receive things, right? Compliments, gift, love, care, pleasure in the bedroom. Fully receive it, own it. Let it come into your soul. Take it, have it. It's yours.

Talk more to the pleasure in the bedroom. What do you mean by that? Like, so. So here's. Here's the thing. The one thing that's confusing the out of me. Me and my wife are having all these problems, right? But we still have sex. And like, if I'm like, babe, can't get a bj, it's like, okay. And I'm like, what the is going on? Like, we're having all these problems. Like, even on our birthday weekend. Like, I mean, like, I asked. I was like, you know, like, can we do this? She's like, yeah. And I'm like, what the is going on?

Like, why.

If. If she hates me the way that I saw her hate me on Saturday, you know, that night, why is she still sleeping with me?

Well, because she knows that that's your number one love. Language, dude. That's it. She does care about you. She knows if. If I don't do this, he's definitely gonna leave me.

Okay?

He will go and cheat on me.

And. Yeah, I mean, I. And here's the up thing is, like, I made that abundantly clear over the years.

Well, there you go, bro. There you go.

So. So basically that does mean that if she's doing those things, that she does love me.

Of course. Yes, absolutely. But here's. Here's the best part. You ready for a mine grenade? Receiving is not asking when you get a Christmas present, right? You didn't generally ask for that thing. I never asked for Christmas. Like, pleasure in the bedroom is you're getting it, but you didn't ask for it. She just knows to give it to you.

Okay, so how many men in here actually experience that besides you, Jeremy Newsome? Like, because I've been in relationship, like, you know, if you talk to people, they're like, okay, eventually that. Like, eventually that kind of goes away, right? Like, you gotta kind of create the mood. You got to do all that stuff, right? Like, I don't know any woman that. That just gets up in the. And Wants to give that, you know, just wants to do those things.

Sure. But here, but here's the thing is like she, she does, she wants to, but she does need to know that every, like everything is okay, everything is safe, everything is secure. So here's, here's an example of a transactional sex. If I, if my brain goes, let me go give this girl a massage so she feels good so that we can have sex, right? That's transactional. If I go, let me give this woman pleasure so that she can just fully receive it and have it and enjoy it and expect nothing in return. It's a, it's a practice, showman. Trust me, it's a practice. And when you begin to get on the level of, I'm just giving you this gift, I'm giving you energy, enjoy it, sit back, relax, I don't need anything else. Because remember, you are now in control of your sexual drive. The whole world changes because then she will crave pleasing you. She will actually be mad that she doesn't. It's the coolest thing ever, right? You'll no longer have to ask. She'll just know. She'll just start to know.

And. Yeah, so give an example. Give an example of like, like what can, like, give an example of like what can a guy do? So like my wife, like her love language is all right, so full transparency, right? I'm just going to put it out there so everyone can help me understand this. So like recent, recently it's, it's been brought to my attention by the clinician basically that my wife could possibly be on the spectrum but at a very high functioning level. Okay. So he doesn't want to put a label on it. He doesn't want to do any of that. Right. Like she's kind of having a hard time accepting it. But like the, the clinician is like, it is what it is, right? Like, not going to change. This is what it is. And he was like. And with someone with a neurodivergent brain is what he calls it, he was like, they are very simple people and a lot of the time the way that they think is like, Edmund, you think with emotion, she thinks with extreme logic. So when you're trying to play mind games with her, she doesn't understand the mind games because what you're looking for is an emotion. You're trying to get her to read your emotions and she can't. So if you're mad, you have to tell her, like, honey, I'm upset right now because of this. Don't Play head games with her and try to get her. Like, don't play head games with her and try to make her cry so you feel like she loves you because she's showing emotion because she's crying. So if she's crying, that means she must love you. Right? Because you were playing all those head games for years. But I didn't have that information. So I was always wondering, like, what the is her problem? Like, why is she not communicating with other people? Why does she not want to have a bunch of friends? Why does she always want to be by herself? Like, she doesn't want to, you know, like, all of that. So, like, with her, what basically he's saying is, you actually have the perfect wife. And I'm like, what do you mean by that? He was like, it is very simple. You ask, you receive. She loves you. If she's allowing you in her space. Yeah, she loves you.

I totally agree.

Yeah. If she's out enjoying nature with you and actually going on trips, she loves you. She goes. When you need to worry is when she goes silent and she no longer wants you in her space, then you're. He was like, but if she's allowing all of the other stuff, then you need to just accept it as simplicity, which I have a hard time doing. Ease, right?

Yeah.

And say, this is actually what it is. She does care for me. She does love me. And he was like, pretty much. If you ask and you receive and you get that is. It's that simple. And don't treat her with disrespect or play the mind games anymore because that's confusing to her. And I'm like, holy shit. Like, could it really be that simple? So with that information being put out there, how do I go about doing? Because she doesn't really like physical touch, like massages. No way. She'll never accept a massage.

Right.

Any of those things. Like, she just does not like them.

Sure.

So how do I go about giving. Giving to her without expecting anything in return? Like, what would be an example in my situation?

Yeah, it's a. It's a small practice, man. It's an active practice. It's nothing that you would think of, but we. You have to sit down. Like you said, think and do exactly what you're doing right now. Ask people that have been in these similar situations. Because my wife is Russian, so might as well be on the spectrum. You know, it's like whole different characterization of, like, traits and like, beliefs and upbringing. Like, it's just a fascinating thing. So an example for Me would be. Let's. Let's not even use sexual activities. Let's just say, for me, it will be. If I know her car is dirty and has no gas, I'll go put gas in it and go get it cleaned and detailed.

Wow. Okay, so this is. Goes right in line with what, like, my therapist was saying. He was like, she is an act of service person.

Oh, dude, that's it.

So the more acts of service that you perform for her, you are showing her love. Yes. You're showing her love by doing the dishes. You're showing her love by making sure the house is straightened up. You're showing her love by. Hey, I know your job is important to you. Do you want to work a couple extra hours this week?

Yep.

I know you love your job and you love what you do. You're showing her love by, you know, like, okay, I know you need your alone time. I will watch the kids. If you want to go on a hike by yourself, Boom.

Dude, that's. You're nailing it right now. Everything you said it correct. Everything you're saying. Because here's the thing, guys. What? Edmund posted this. I think it was, like, week two or three, but he was talking about love languages. What. What's hard for most men. Not all men, but what's hard for most men is we can't understand how anyone else's love language could be other. Anything other than sex. We don't. We're like, what? This doesn't make.

Why would you.

This doesn't make any sense to me. Well, I was like, bro, that's just how they. That's just how they feel. Like you love them. As simple as that. It's just how. Yeah, literally how they feel. That.

Yeah, my girl's the same way. Like. Like, it's the little things, too. Like, if I'm about to go to bed and I'm gonna, like, take a melatonin and I don't offer her one, or if, like, I grab a drink out of the fridge, like, maybe we get, like, a new kombucha flavor, and I open it and take a sip, and I don't. I'm not. And I. And I don't offer her, hey, here, you want to try it? Or if I don't. Or maybe we're at the gas station, she's, hey, can you grab me this? Like, you know, drink from inside, and if I don't bring it back to the car and. And put it in the cup holder right by her and open it for her, like, just Those little things like, you know, or taking out the trash or whatever. Like, she just. That, like, if, if I'm not being, like, if I'm just being selfish and thinking about myself all the time and never, like, doing little gestures like our sex life just goes to. Because it's like that. Like, she, she's told me, she goes, I don't always bring it up that it bothered me, but, like, I'll be thinking about it at night when, like, we're trying to, like, get in the mood. And then it's just, like, blocked. And I'm like, damn. And thankfully, you know, she has a pretty good reset button. Like, she's not going to hold like, a grudge about something little the whole week. But every day like that timer resets and it's like they expect you to, like, just put in an effort.

Yeah. They expect. You show them love. They expect. Yeah. Crazy thought. Exactly. And guys, go ahead. Yeah. It's something that we're not wired to do.

No.

At all. So it takes, it does take a concerted effort. And you could put a reminder on your phone. So for me, I've told my wife, listen, babe, like, I'm probably on the spectrum. I'm sure I've never been tested, but it's like I need to be told exactly what to do 99.9% of the time. Otherwise I'm not going to just magically show up with a flying carpet and do the things that you expect do. Like, I don't know that you want me to do those things, but the things that I do for you, those are my acts of service, aka, you know, write her a poem or, or, or do things that she didn't think of, like help her with her tag renewal or, you know, do her. Help her with her taxes or send her va some information. She, you know, like, I, I. The services that I will do for her. I think of her, I think of. But if her brain says, oh, he didn't take out the trash today, it's like, well, I. That's because I was doing four other things for you. I didn't think about doing the trash.

Listen to this. Listen to this mind game that I was getting ready to play this morning. So glad I came down here and had this conversation because I was so ready to do it. I was going to ask, like, my love language is physical touch. So obviously sex, right? Like, that's how I know I'm loved. Right? Is if the person is having sex with me. Like, if the woman's like, that's how I feel loved. So what I was. If she was. Because I have a feeling that her therapist at some point is going to tell her that, like, you know, say the word no one time and see how he responds, right? See how he acts. And if she was going to. I was going to ask this morning, and if she was. If she would have said no, I was going to come downstairs, I was going to rate her half of the bills and say, okay, well, look, here's the deal, right? Like, you have needs. I have needs. I have sexual needs. You have financial needs, right? So here's half of the bills. If you need to go to work, start paying them. Here you go. Because here's what our bills come to. And like, you. You want. You want your independence.

You.

You want all of that. So here you go. Here's 50% of the bills. Start paying. Now how. Like, that was my thought process, and that's what I was getting ready to do. How up is that?

Yeah, it's just. I'm glad you didn't do that.

Yeah, okay, I didn't do that, too. So now what I can do to retrain my brain if I really want sex tonight is to go up there, give her breakfast, and say, hey, I got the kids today.

I.

Why don't you. It's a beautiful day. Why don't you go for a walk by yourself?

Bang. What a retraining. Yeah.

Yeah. That is a legit retraining.

Well done.

And guys, it's interesting. Sorry, I was gonna say it's interesting because I think a lot of guys think that. They think, oh, if I. If I just come to the table with a bunch of money, then the girl's gonna love me.

Yes.

But in my experience, like, I mean, yes, women, I. I don't think women actually like money. They just, like that you have the ability to, like, take care of them. So that taking care of part, if that, like, even. Even if you have the big house and the cars and all that, if you're not doing the taking care of part, none of that matters.

I mean, she flat out said she was like, I got to the point to where I was like, you and your money, I don't care. Like, you don't. You're not treating me the way that I need to be treated, and that's more important to me than the money, the house, the car, like, all that, like, all your financial stability. So if you can't treat me with love and respect, like, I'm out, I'm out the door, and that was the transition. She, I caught her right at that transition that I started with myself six, eight months prior to that. Right? So like, internally it was happen. So the way I look at it was like, oh my God, Like God has prepared you, the divine has prepared you for this moment, right? Like literally is prepared because this was going to go down at some point and if you weren't at your higher level, you wouldn't have been able to recognize it, you would have drank it off and you would have destroyed your family. So now that you're operating on this higher level, you can acknowledge it, you can interpret it, and you can handle it because this is what I really have in store for you is for your family to be together.

Well done. Well done.

Am I interpreting that right?

Nailed it. 100%, dude. 100%. That's it. That's it, gentlemen. And what I was going to say earlier is we can set a, we can set phone remind. If you guys don't think I set phone reminders to remind myself to do acts of service for my wife, you're insane. I have to be reminded, okay? And I remind myself so she doesn't have to remind me, but I remind myself. Birthdays, anniversaries, special little dates, special little things. I have a reminder every three and a half months to write a poem to my wife, which I'll help, I'll have chat. GPT help me with sometimes.

Yeah, buddy. That works.

It works, guys, okay? It's like, listen, I, I, I set reminders to remind myself to calm down, to be. Because it's not natural for us. It's okay. But these are all the things that we're doing, right? These are the traits of this divinity. The person, the man that we can become is just so elevated. It's just a totally different consciousness level. Right? This higher love, the, these are traits of higher love. These. Acceptance, allowing, kindness, gentleness, grace. Right? What, what Edmund was about to do was none of those things.

Yeah, right.

It wasn't gentleness, it wasn't grace. Like, he wouldn't do that with his, with a baby girl.

No. And like what your wife basically said is every time you're getting ready to act and have one of those thoughts, ask yourself, is this what the divine would do?

Yep.

And I'm like, holy now precisely because.

A lot of times we, we want to be, we want to be venomous. And, and guys, trust me, like, when it happens, it's going to happen once every two years, hopefully, right? That's, that's usually the timeline. Like once you start working on this level of. This level of a playing field, you'll up. And when you do, you go, hey, listen, I'm really sorry. I apologize. I don't know why I was doing this. I was angry. I was whatever. Right. I've done that a few times, especially in the rv. There was a day or two I had to do that in the rv. I was like, I am sorry.

I'm really sad.

What's up?

What did you say? You did what, in the RV?

Yeah, I snapped one night. Yeah. After 19 hours of driving, and no one's saying thank you ever.

Yeah. Yes.

Yes. So I was like. But she knew, dude. She knew real quick why I was mad also. And so what Edmund said a moment ago, right. Is like, would. Would God do this if you were hanging out with Jesus? Would Jesus do what you just did? Or would he be like, hey, good job, Edmund. Well done. Like, would he give you a high five? Like, try that. That's the state, gentlemen, that I want you to be thinking is, like, that. That awareness of, like, would I really be able to do this in. In a way that someone else would respect and admire someone that I really care about? God, universe, whoever.

So before I decide. Because, like, it was getting to the point and Jeremy, Brits. And like, we talked about this a million times. Like, it was getting to the point where I'm like, all right, I'm ready to call it quits. So. But what I haven't really done yet, and here's the one thing my wife said when she got, you know, she drank her bottle of wine, she goes, you know what? You want praise and all this because you got 90 days. Your 90 days. Your 90 days. Your 90 days don't mean yet. Because I went through years and years and years of this basically my little boy attitude. And you want to be praised for 90 days? She was like, yeah, you got a lot longer than 90 days. So, like, she's. This is going to be brutal. Like, this is going to be extremely difficult. I'm going. And, like, I want everything fixed now.

Yeah.

Which is extremely difficult for me. So, like, what I'm going to have to do, like, if I really want this relationship to work and if I really want to do this, like, I'm going to have to, one, be patient to understand, ease. And three, everything she throws at me, I'm going. Because she's going to test the fuck out of me.

Oh, yeah.

Everything she throws at me, I have to respond in love and not hate.

Yeah. As many as you can as, as soon. Many as you can. 99% of them.

Yeah.

Every now and then she might step out of line. You got to put her back in line.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Like, and I, and I, like, I know that. Like, okay, if she gets, if she gets out of. Like, yeah, she gets out of line. Like, you're not walking all over me. That's for sure. Like, I love you, but no one's walking. I'm not some rug that you're going to walk on. And I, I have no problem telling her that, and I just need to do it in a nicer way. But she'll. She'll do. Understand.

Yeah, of course. She gets it. They, they. The ladies get it. They understand. But that's, that's, that's part of the boundaries that we talked about. Right? It's like, I have absolutely said this. Yo, who you think you're talking to?

Yeah, that was.

I did not. That tone of voice was not for me. Yeah. And she looks at me like big wide eyes and like, oh, boy.

That.

Yeah, okay. Got it. Because. Yeah, that's exactly right. Women are always going to test us, but we, but we test them, too.

Absolutely.

We test them. But our tests are just like, they always fail our tests. And so, like, because, like, we don't give them a chance. We don't give them a choice.

So give an example of that, like, where they always fail our test. Given. What do you mean by example?

Literally, what you said earlier, like, the whole, like, the bill thing. Right. Like, that would have been a test that she would have failed.

Yes, she would have failed it.

There's no right answer. Like, what does she say? No? Or she says, yes, either way isn't going to be good.

Yeah.

Really, at the end of the day.

Yeah. Because if she would say, okay, give me my half of the bills, I'd be like, oh, well, you just up. Because now you're going to show her that she can do it on her own first.

Right, Exactly. So that's an example. Like when, when guys. Because we're all stupid, so we don't think through anything long enough for us actually to be really good at it. Women will sit there and think for years on how to fuck us over. Like, we think for like 18 seconds, you know? So that's why most women murderers never get caught.

Oh, great.

Yeah.

But anyway, the. These are all traits, right, guys? Like, courage. Courage is a big one. Courage is a big one. And I like this quote a lot that my. This is. My wife says, like, you don't step into courage. Crawl into it. That's why I do bear crawls. That's why we do bear crawls, gentlemen, is because courage is not something you just, like, one day wake up and you're like, oh, I'm courageous now. It's like, it's this. It's this body crawling across the ground. Fear that you rise up and you do something really, really powerful. Really, really courageous, really exceptional. Something that you may not have ever done before and you might have been scared to do. But this is a humongous trait of your divinity. Another one more of them. Routines, right? Begin to delegate your day to people. Begin to teach individuals. Do what you love, right? Everyone has routines, but a king will choose his routine. So start developing some routines. Whereas it's not always just this random sporadic thing. My wife makes me the exact same thing for breakfast every day because I freaking love it. It's so perfect. Such a perfect breakfast. That's a routine for me, you know? And I really, really enjoy it. And I chose it. I told her this is what I want, and she knows that's one of the ways that she can show me love. Like, that is definitely an act of service. I hope you all men know that when a woman's cooking for you and you're eating her food, that's an act of service. It's not physical touch. It's literally an act of service. So make sure that you. You respect that. You understand that. You admire that. You think that.

You want to know what I used to do? So, guys, so listen to this gentleman. So, like, she would. Because she knew I was trying to lose weight, so I asked her if she could, like, because she's a healthy eater. I was like, do you mind cooking for me? And, like, I need your help with losing weight. And like, she was like, yeah, sure, like, I'll cook. And she would cook. Now, here's the thing. Because of, like, some of her traits, she would like to cook the same thing over and over and over and over again. And here's my response. What the is this? When are you going to cook something different? Like, I can't eat the same every week. Like, can you please think of something different? And then the cooking stops, and I'm like. And then I'll respond like, babe, like, I do this, this, this, and like, you can't even cook for me. Like, what the. Right. Like, what is the. You know, like, what. I mean, that's the kind of mentality that I had. And it was so wrong and so inappropriate and so up that I can't believe that she's even still here, honestly.

True. Yeah. That's a big one, man. That's a really. That's a. A wild realization because I think we can all sit in hindsight and go, that's probably not the best way to put it, but at the time you thought that was the way it should have been.

Oh, yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

And you couldn't have told me otherwise. Like, I was like, no, that, like, I do this, this, this and this. Like, she can't, like, think of a different meal to cook for me. Like this.

Like.

And that's exactly. And it just, it made me feel. It made me feel like she didn't put enough effort or thought into it and she didn't love me. So I'm like, well, this then that's awesome, right?

Yeah.

It's so crazy. This is such an eye opening thing, dude.

I love it, man. I love it. I love, I love it. It's really powerful.

Guys, you probably think I'm a complete. But if on. The only way people are going to change is if I'm honest about my story.

No, dude, you're not. I, I've been even just this last week, I've been so selfish so many times. Like, it's crazy.

Yeah. No, man, we. We. That's the thing. I mean, we all do that, right? Men, these are. That's why men are men. That's why we are here. That's why there's very. There's not really many groups like this that I'm aware of. There might be a couple, but it's like the ability just to openly talk about these things allows us to not only heal, but to also realize, wait a minute. I'm not the only savage in the world. That's just an.

Yeah.

Oh, wow. Thank God. Because then it also, it also allows you to go, okay, I. Even though I'm not the only person, I can still fix this. I can still make shifts if I want to. And the, and the people that are here, the people, my men, who are spending the most time doing this, you guys want to fix this because you want to be better, you want to elevate, you want to spend time around amazing people. You want this in your life, that prosperity, right? The intimate relationships, the friendships, the acquaintances, more travel, more education, more life. All of the, all of this prosperity will and does absolutely come from you being in your higher self, being your king, being in your king energy. Everything that you want is going to come from that.

How do you heal? Trust, like so here's an example. So here's what I did and here was a toxic behavior and it sent me spiraling. So I obviously have trust issues with women like for the longest. Like it's just I have in my head that all women are bad. You can't trust any of them. And that has played a massive part in like why I treat. Treated my wife the way that I did. So like now that I'm in this higher version of myself, like I read this book, played. I read this book called the Games We Play. And her cell phone was on the table and she was upstairs reading. And I'm like, this just happened the other day. The little boy in me was like, yeah, now's the time. Go check her phone, go check it out. Hurry up, go grab it. Go snoop through her messages. And I did. And in the messages one of her girlfriends was beating me up. Like she was just not really trying. Like she was, she, she wasn't beating me up, but she was just. Was not being that she was being supportive of Stephanie and pretty much like him do therapy for yourself. Him sort of thing. So that was like, that sent me in a terrible spiral the other day to where I'm like, she's allowing other girls like her friend because she didn't respond. She was just like lol. Haha. Right. But she, and she didn't respond back. But, and, but that sent me in such like a negative fucking spiral to where when she got home I was ready, I was going to. It was close, I didn't. But I was ready to fudgeing. Give her the business like, bitch, how the fuck do you let some of your friends. Yeah, I checked your phone because I don't fudgeing. Trust you. And this is what's going on. Like our relationships fucked up. I don't trust you. I don't. I think something's going on. I'm searching your phone and this is what I find. And you're going to let your girlfriend. And no wonder you don't want you, you know, like I don't want you going to hang out with this fucking girl. Because this is how she talks about me, right? And in my mind like I'm like, I had to spend hours by myself talking myself through that whole situation. Saying one you're wrong. You check their phone. This is your problem, your insecurity, your trust issue, not hers. To how many of your friends have said something like that to you? In supportive of you? Yeah, right, you. And you want to give her the business when she gets home. Because of your insecurities, your trust issues, your. And one, you should have never checked their phone. And this was the game that you played, and this was the response that you get. So, yes, you ruined your own day by doing that. And I didn't say a word to her.

Well, that's about it. What's interesting is that, number one again, congrats for making such huge growth where you didn't again terrorize her soul with. With that. With the.

With the.

With the thoughts that you had. But the trust, man. Like, that is how you rebuild the trust. Because, Edmond, what you're doing now, when you're having this conversation, you can probably think back and go, that was the most harmless comment of all time. Who gives a right. Just her friend being a supportive friend. Like, she doesn't know what to say. Like, she's not gonna say, oh, but Edmund's a great.

She doesn't know.

Exactly, dude. She's just saying whatever, you know, it's like, I'll say the same thing about what I.

Whatever.

Jeremy's wife. Your wife, whatever. Like, if you. If you. If you need me to say something to just make you feel better, you know, of course.

And then the other thing. Go ahead. Sorry.

So that's exactly it, man. You're 100, right? Like, the rebuilding the trust is. I have absolutely snooped through my wife's phone twice. Twice. And both times, absolutely nothing. I went on Instagram, I went text messages. Nothing. I was like, you know, whatever, Right? That's how you. That's how you rebuild the trust. And if there was something that was really concerning, it was actually there, then you can have that discussion with it, and you can have that discussion in a. In a king.

Energy.

Right? It's. It's the. It's the energy in which you have the discussions that help you rebuild the trust.

So. Okay, gotcha. So doing those kind of. So, like, your wife was like, follow your intuition. It's. It's not okay to keep doing that all the time. Don't obsess over it. Don't do it every day.

Yeah.

It's like, follow your intuition now, right? And then. And then she goes. Instead of snooping, say, hey, I have. My intuition is telling me there's something going on. I need to see your phone. And if she's like, absolutely. No. No way. Like, you know, and then that's a problem. You know what I mean? Like, sure.

But your wife wouldn't. She would just give you your phone.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. So like, yeah. And like, here's the other thing. It's called projecting.

Yeah.

All the. That I have done in my life, in my relationship over the years, Y. I think that, okay, we're having problems. Edmund, I know what you would be doing right now because we're having problems if you were having problems. I bet she's out doing the same thing. So I'm projecting all my. That I would do onto her, thinking that she's doing it and thinking that she's thinking like I am. In reality. It's the complete opposite. None of it's happening. Yep.

Yep, exactly. That's all it is. Which is. Okay, nothing wrong with that.

I mean, is that fair? Is that like. Does that. Is that common? Like men do that?

Very common. Very common. Oh, women do.

So.

So, Edmund, I mean, I'm just let you know that everything that you're saying and talking about I relate with. But in terms of the cell phone thing, right before, you know, I finalized my divorce and left, I checked my wife's phone and there was nothing like. Yeah, I expected there was going to be something and there was nothing. I've just blew my mind.

Yeah, I've. I've checked multiple times and there's nothing.

But that's.

That's.

Dude, like that you. You now have to just go, like, why? It's you that you don't trust dude.

Yes, it's me that.

So you, like, you were projecting, you know, know you were thinking like that. That she would, you know, there would be something there and there's nothing. Yeah, it was the same thing with me. It was like it blew me away to, you know.

It's a good realization, Matt. Great realization. Great discussion, boys. Great discussion. So here's some of your homework. I want you to continue work, right? Each day, twice a day. Let's make sure we get some crawls in this week or this weekend or the next few days. Right. Crawl. Crawl into courage. Also, do this for me. Clean up your life a little bit. If you got a bunch of random just laying around, if you got a bunch of drawers that are filled to the brim with like bags and old books and things that you've never opened and start throwing some away, cleaning it up, because this is the season for it. We're about to come into the fall equinox. This is just a really, really good season of cleansing. So good time to just get some old out of your life that you don't need. Clean out your closets or find items that bring you joy. But here's A good one. When we're talking about, I want you to practice this a second when we're talking about using the word ease and struggle, right? Let's, let's, let's, let's practice to stop using the word work and use the word easy as often as possible. Do those two things for me over the next couple of days and couple weeks and just let me, let me know if there's any instance where you, you really felt or saw a magnificent shift of some kind.

Right? So, so give me an example of, of stop using the word work. So give me an example of that.

So a lot of people go like, hey, I gotta go to work today. So instead of think like that, you're like, hey, I get to go play with some friends today. I gotta go, I gotta go experience. I'm gonna hop on this zoom call to chat with Michael Lush, right? Instead of saying I'm hop on the zoom call for work, right? Just choose different words. Be a little more unique and intentional about the things that you're saying. Because work is one of those fun words that everyone else is going to use. And those. That's a struggle word. It's a chaos word. So just, just practice it. Practice saying, just don't say that word at all.

And then what about seven? Use the word easy everywhere the word easy.

Yeah. So if someone's like, hey, how was that, how was that experience you did two days ago? How was this? What's your, how was cooking that thing? I was cleaning the garage. That was easy. Super easy. Yeah. Yeah. How was, yeah, how was getting out of that speeding ticket? That was easy. You know, whatever. Because a lot of people like, oh, it was hard, man. Right? Oh, it was tough. Like, oh, it was really a struggle. Or you'll start to see, you'll start to sense that. You'll see that more and more and more. And, and Paul's going to experience this over the next two, three days. But he'll hear me say a lot like, oh, man, I love tall hills. Look at this, look at the steep. Look at this steep ass hill that we're about to climb.

Like, oh, you're in a bad spot, bro.

I guess it's not.

You're supposed to, you're supposed to respond, this is easy.

He's going to, he's going to, right? Because that's the thing is like, hey, this is gonna be so easy, man. Like, what an easy hill. Like what a nice easy hill. And, and our brains is like, come on, dude, this is going to suck. But it's it's fun to say that because imagine, imagine you say that enough, what's going to happen? Your body will start to believe it. That's what's fantastic. Everything will start to shift.

Well, does that create flow? Is that what's, what's happening then in terms.

Yep, exactly, Matt. It creates flow. When you start talking about how easy trading is all the time. I mean, how, how many times have you heard me say that? Like training is so easy, guys. Yeah, because it is.

I don't think you ever said that.

Because yeah, it's just like this, this thing is just like, oh, here's the math. It's really simple. And when we tell ourselves that over and over and over and over and over, it does, it starts to really, really shape everything around us. So, guys, what a great discussion this morning. Thank you for spending time with me again as always. Our next meeting will be Monday night. I sent the calendar invite for everyone Monday evening where everyone's done with work and it's nice and late. We'll get to hang out. Me and Paul will be 300 miles in. It's going to be a really, really enjoyable experience. I'll pop on the camera really quick just because I didn't use a lot of the camera because we, you know, I'm on my hot spot. So. Gentlemen, thanks so much for being in my life. I really appreciate you all have a great weekend. Enjoy your 12 hour walk. Let me know if you have any questions, if anyone needs anything. Always here for you. Always available for you. This is part of the container as this group is. I'm happy to help you all any way I can. So you guys are amazing. Enjoy your weekend. Take care.

See you.

Good luck, Paul.

Thanks, brother. We'll need it.