Sep 16th, 2023 Divine King Self Forgiveness week 6 of 7
Jerremy Newsome leads a group through self-forgiveness work using a five-level model. Participants write down negatives about themselves and others, then list the positive impacts those people created. The group shares stories about guilt, money, relationships, and healing, with assignments like burning the negative paper and daily forgiveness exercises.
Chapters
What's interesting about that is I, I had something scheduled for today that I think we'll probably. We might put off until next week, potentially or later. But long story short, I've. I've decided to go a little bit of a different route today. And that's a perfect, perfect segue and great reminder of what I want to talk about, Rocco. So thank you. What I want to talk about today is I want to do a little bit of a self forgiveness exercise. So give me three seconds. I'm just trying to pull something up. This happened really quick last night because one of you guys texted me with a. A challenge that you're facing, Brooks. And I'm. I have. I'm pretty sure I have this book pretty close to me. If I can't find it first page, See if I can pull this up. No, that doesn't work. I wanted to see if I could read the whole thing. Eight more seconds. Sorry. Let's see if I can do this.
No.
Okay. Oh, well. So there's a book that, if you guys ever get a chance to read it, I really like it a lot.
It's, it's.
It's a little on the Christian side, if that is weird for anyone. Hey, whatever. It's a really good book. It's called Blessed and Unstoppable by Billy Alsbrooks. So this is what it looks like. Blessed and unstoppable. And you'll see what I mean when I get to page one. This is his website, blessedunstoppable.com. it's also on Amazon, all those things. And he's a really cool motivational poet and one of my dear friends and mentors. But anyway, so one of the things that he says in chapter one is that unforgiveness is voluntary mental incarceration and the quickest way to freedom is forgiveness, right? Forgiveness allows us to move through, through challenges and hurdles so quickly. So hurdles of holding on to resentment, to fear, to anger. So many hurdles, so many stressors, so many problems are in our life because of resentment, anger, and all that stems from forgiveness or lack of forgiveness. And one of the words, I'm sure you guys have all heard it before, the word disease, right? Disease means dis ease. So it's a lack of ease in your body. It's a lack of simplicity, right? So last week we talked about people being addicted to struggle, addicted to strife. And if you've only known struggle and you've only lived in it for the last five years, I was like, well, if you've lived in it every day or every week for the last five years. You're addicted to it. And if you're, if you're addicted to struggling, you know, to pay your bills, to grow your business, to live to be happy. It's like if you've lived in something for that long, that just means you're addicted to it. It's, it's okay. Not the end of the world. We can easily change it, but we, we do have to make the right adjustments and the right tweaks. So here's what I want us to do. We have a little bit of an experiment. Slash. Let me share this screen. I want to have slides for today. Stop. Share. Share sound. Okay, I got the share sound on. I'm just going to turn something on really quick. Can you, can you hear this? No.
All right.
Okay, I'll just share this and if I do this, share the whole screen. Can you guys hear this better?
Yeah.
All right. I don't know why that happens, but anyway, so here's what I would like you to do. Go ahead and get a pen and paper for those who are able. I know Paul's driving, but I want you to work on, want you to work on two things. I want you to pick two people in your life and get a piece of paper.
And.
I want you to write down all the mean things that, that, that those people have done to you. Now one of these people can be yourself, that's fine. But I want you to go ahead and spend time and this can be a new piece of paper. And we have the queen of forgiveness. So I'm having them do a self forgiveness exercise. My love, so your perfect timing.
Beautiful.
Can you fill everyone in on why forgiveness is so important?
Forgiveness liberates. Liberates you and allows to open new energy channels. To fill, to feel love, to allow the lap in, to allow divine in. Forgiveness is really the source of all healing. As a healer, when there is a physical disease, one of the first things that I go to is who needs to be forgiven and why do you need to forgive yourself? Because without self forgiveness and without forgiveness period, there is no well being. You constantly attach to that person or you constantly attach to the shadow parts of yourself that you are still holding on to and you're shaming yourself with. And therefore it's like that poisonous gas that is always there and it's just waiting to leak. It's just waiting to poison you, to poison your mind, to poison your body, to poison the loved ones. Why? Because when you are not whole within yourself, it comes out in your family, it comes out with your friends. It will come out one way or another way. It just depends on when. And so you can suppress maybe for a while that shame, the guilt, that thing that you did that you're not forgiving yourself for. But sooner or later it just about the time when it's going to happen, it will come out and will destroy and it will create either disease in your physical body or it will create disease in your mental, emotional, and therefore it will affect everyone else around you.
So what I would like us to do is really pretty basic. We're going to work on, we're going to work on two people. And again, I had someone reach out from the group who wants to remain anonymous, and that's fine, but someone who really talked about the struggle of all the, all the bad things he's done in the past. Bad things done to women, the bad things done to kids. And it's not Edmund. Evan's usually pretty vocal, but just a bad thing that he's done in life and just feels really kind of like a shitty human being. Doesn't feel like a great man, doesn't feel very accomplished, just has a lot of struggles and trials and just doesn't. Doesn't feel like he's made anything amazing in his life and he was blaming someone else as well, which is fine. But what I also want you to do is I want you guys to blame yourself for a second. So I want to do two things. Pick one person in your life. It could be anyone, it could be an ex, it can be a teacher, it can be the bully in middle school. But I want you to write one person and all the terrible things they've done to you, every mean thing they've said, every hurtful statement they've uttered, every time they've made you feel like a low life. And then I want you to also write down one about yourself, right? All the things that you've done to you. I want you to do a self forgiveness letter. So I want you to literally just write down, I can't believe I did this. I'm so stupid, I'm so dumb, I hate myself. All, all the negatives. We're gonna, and we're gonna burn this page later today. Don't worry. So this will be a new piece of paper. But for those of you here, I just want you to write down, it's an exercise of you to really just sit in it for a second and just be okay with that anger, that rage, just for a few moments to Just know that you are the most important player in your game, but you're also the one that's causing all the problems in your life. And if you want something to be better, be better, you have to realize it's just your fault. So your money, your relationships, it's. It's you, bro. So let's, let's work through forgiving yourself for a second, right? Because you do. That's something I, I worked on her the most at some stage. I worked with my wife on. It was like I just, I felt so bad about doing so many things and I was like, how do I get over this? So let's, let's go ahead and work on that for just a. Let's do 10 minutes or so. Okay. And I'll be here if you have any questions. I'm not going to go anywhere, so. All right. So go ahead and start. Start it.
Guess. After every we take Every feeling that I get but I haven't missed you yet Every roommate kept awake by every sigh and scream we make all the feelings that I get But I still don't miss you yet Only when I stop to think about it. I hate everything about you what do I love you? I hate everything about you why do I love you? Every time we lie awake after every we take every feeling that I get But I haven't missed you yet Only when I stop to think about it. I hate everything about you why do I love you? Why hate everything about you why do I love you? Only when you stop to think about but you I know Only when you start to think about me do you know. I hate everything about you why do I love you? You hate everything about me why do you love me? I hate you hate I hate you love me I hate everything about you I do I love you.
All right, we got one more, three more minutes. Get kind of meaner if you can just a little bit. Especially if you're right about yourself. All the things that you don't have in life, it's your fault. Why are you self sabotaging.
Now?
What you're mad about yourself?
Bad?
You're angry before.
Why you're so stupid. Why you're so ugly without some of the venoms. Without some of the hate. All right, pins down for a second. Let's just do a few shares from amazing powerful men that are here. Let's start with Rocco. You're writing a lot, dude. Like a novel over there.
Who me?
Yeah. Feel free to share what you what was your thoughts, what came out?
So the beginning with. It's with my ex. That person I have been really mean with and I've been in a relationship with her. Like I've known her for almost eight years, in and out of relationship, but came to the point where our relationship was very unstable. There was so much of arguments, fight. She did not realize that I love her. But at the same time she was pushing me away by the nagging, all the fighting. And I cheated on her. And during that time I disrespected her beyond. And I've said some pretty mean stuff to ourselves that I don't feel I can, I can take it back now called name calling. Do all this stuff. Yeah, I kind of for it for the things that I have said to her. I never took the time to really understand that she had childhood trauma and she couldn't really reciprocate back. She didn't know at that time. She recently discovered that. But I cannot discom the fact that the things that I have set apart and when she cheated back on me, it hurt her. And for those reasons I kind of built a wall between the relationship and I cheated back 10 times worse on her. And after this day I. I don't think I can forgive myself. I forgive her, but the blame is on me because I didn't understood exactly on today's day what she was going through. And even though to that there's still a communication barrier. That's what I should.
Well, you can forgive yourself. And that's kind of what we're doing this exercise for, right? Where it's. It's kind of the point where it's like it's already happened, it's in the past. And this is level one of forgiveness. There's usually five levels and I'll show you, I'll share them with you what they are. Team the fifth one takes a while, but the first one does the most work. So the first one is really what we're doing is being aware that there is forgiveness that needs to happen. So it's the awareness stage and then writing awareness and writing it down like, okay, I need to forgive myself. This is what I need to forgive myself for. And writing it down. So exactly what we're doing right now is level one and that takes care of 70%, 70% of all the pain and anger and frustration. So we're getting a C in class, right? We're, we're passing now. Cs get degrees. So level two is the harder part. Level two gets us to 90% and level two is reaching out to that Person, either with a phone call, with a letter, or I'll tell you guys what I did. And I'm not saying that all of you should be in this exact position or not. And I kind of shared it a little bit last week when me and Edmund, you know, Edmund was talking. But last. Last week, I kind of brought it up. But I. You all know I've been married before, and with my first wife, I cheat on her, just like you did, Rocco, with your ex. And I said venomous things to her, and I was very mean. I was alcoholic. I was emotionally abusive. I wasn't physically abusive, but I would always call her names, right? And just I would gaslight her and all the things. And I, you know, caused her to be into a pretty big depression. And this is probably whatever, six years ago, but one random day, I kind of reach out to her. I kind of call her on the phone, and I go, hey, sorry, let me. Let me make it up to you. This is, you know, long, short, short. Hey, sorry, let me make it up to you. I'm a fly to Nashville, put you up in a really nice hotel. I want to buy you dinner, and I want me and you to sit down together as humans and buy all the drinks you want, take you an Uber, whatever you want to do. And I want you to just ask me any question you want, and I will answer you very truthfully, because I lied to her a lot also. And. And she knows I did. And I told her. I was like, I will answer whatever question you asked me with 100 truth, I promise, because I want us to heal. That's what I told her. I was like, I want. I want our relationship to heal. I value as a human being, and I'm really going on a deep journey right now of awareness and growth. She said, okay. And so I bought her a plane ticket. I bought her hotel. She came to Nashville. We had dinner. We had drinks. It was a really good time. And she a little hammered, which is perfect. And she was just venomous. Boom, boom, boom. And just like Edmund did with his woman. Right, Edmund?
And, yeah, she let loose, bro.
She loved it. She loved it.
And it's a very big. Right? That's. That was a. That's a big, big one. And so that gets you 90. So that's. Level two is the other person's knowing. Now, the reason that there's level three is. Level three is if the person's not alive anymore, right? A dad, a mom, a whomever, grandparent, someone that molested you as a kid, whatever it might be the level three is you have to go into the meditation or into a meditative state and really see, be with that person and be with their ethereal body and be with who they were and have conversations with them there and forgive them there. So level two and level three are kind of similar, but level three is a little harder because also, let's say that there's absolutely no lines of communication with you and this other person. Then you can do it with level three. And then level four and level five are a lot harder. Level one through three will get you to 98%. The other ones are only people that are weirdos, you know, that do, like, weird chance and yoga for hours and weird people like my wife. And that's where you do, like, lineage forgiveness, right? Past life regression forgiveness. You'll go back into your DNA. You'll go back into your parents, you'll go back into your grandparents, your great, great, great Pam, your great, great, great parents, your past lives, all the things, whatever energies you believe in, you can start. And then you do this exercise with other people, right? You do it with God, you do it with universe, you do it with Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad, whoever you want, and you start working on the spiritual and the religious and all that stuff, and that'll heal everything. And then you become extremely elevated. And all that takes time, it takes energy, and it takes a little bit of effort and intention. But what we're doing right now will get us to the vast majority of a really great space. Because what's going to come. No, hit me.
No, I still got a question for you. All right. And this is one I struggle with. So that relationship that you were in, you know, six years ago is the same exact way that I was with my wife for a long period of time. So did I cheat? Did I around? Yes. Okay. I just don't. I can't tell her that.
Understood. Yeah. Yeah.
But what do you.
I mean, what's your. What's your take on that?
My take is you say you can't, but you can at some point.
Exclude you.
It's. It's not easy.
It's not easy. It's a tough one, man.
But should I.
Maybe not yet, maybe not like today or. Or this next few months, but at some point. And it'll be emotional. It'll be another level of healing because, dude, you up bad, bro. It's okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
That's why you're like, I need to be on a healing journey, dude. I need to go do some healing stuff.
What if both parties up, of course. But no taking responsibility. Because every time you point a finger at me for the things that I have done, I can equally do the same to you. And I feel like. Well, what I says that you're the reason for this. This is the reason for why I did what I did. And. Yeah, back and forth, and it just blew up into a big flame. And before you know it, you're calling each other names. You're telling each other it's over. You're down a bunch of. So it gets so blown out of propulsion is that you have no other. No more control. You're feeling each other's going at each other's throat.
And, well, it can Rocco. But that only happens in prince and boy energy. They'll never happen again.
Yeah. So, I mean. But do. Bro. Like, if I tell her that, like, it's gonna be over.
I understand. And again, I'm not gonna say it has to happen now. And obviously no one will hear. I'll mention anything. So I totally get it. The point is, it might have to happen at some level, to some degree. Maybe. Maybe you write her a letter, right? Maybe it's while she's out and away for a little bit. Maybe it's like, hey, I know we're going through a lot, and this is why it's happening. And this is. This is who I was. So on and so forth. Because she might not. Dude, she may. She may not. I don't know.
I got kids, though. I got kids.
I know, I know. So let's be. We'll be really cautious on that. On that. On that topic. But what you can do for right now is you can forgive yourself for doing it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can forgive yourself. You can work on that aspect, because whenever it happens and if it goes to your grave, dude, it goes your grave. But if. If it gets to a point where you go, you know what? I think we're in such a healed relationship where I feel like if I had this conversation with her, she's gotten out so much of her venom. She's gotten so much out of her anger, so much of her resentment. We've built up a lot of trust over the last three years. I feel like I'm in a space where I'll be able to tell her, and she will not react so crazy because she will not be as hurt. She won't be damaged. She won't be as. She won't be as venomous because she's already let out so much of her anger. And frustration and annoyance and rage.
You don't think that's just. You don't think it's going to start the whole thing over again?
No, I don't. Once she's healed enough, she'd be hurt for a period of time. But it'll be one of the situations where she'll be able to make a very, very conscious decision of. Yeah, this is who Edmund was. Right. Because your darkness will not scare her.
Yeah.
Can I say something? So in relation to Edmond stuff, this is how I would approach the situation. He's the only one who know her personality ways, the way she react, all of that. He's the only one who knows if he feels so scared because he has so much to lose by he disclosing all of that stuff to her right now. I would say in my opinion, don't go and do it, bro, because that's it backfire on you so far. Because if you know the way she's gonna react and you know your kids on the line, money, property, everything. You're not chicken right now. Let's establish that. Yeah, you are. The point where you're about to lose everything. It can take a mental breakdown on you and a whole lot of can go wrong. So in my opinion, build this relationship that you got right now with heart solid moving forward and forgive the past. Barry West. Barry, don't around. Don't go do. No just don't bring it up. If she make a sink out of something, bro, walk the out of the room. My apology. I'm sorry. That's what I'm doing that I meant walk out. I'm like, you know what? When you're better you can talk at a more level head will reverse the baddest conversation right now you're hot headed. Calm down. But I would not say about a. That I've done to her in the past. I'm not bringing that up because they always have in the head. They don't remember. Hey. But it remembers something happened four years ago.
Yeah, I know I'm already. I'm already. I'm already. I'm already hearing that.
Yeah. Yeah, totally. But she already knows deep downsides detail inside. Sharon knows women's intuition is very powerful.
Yeah.
So she already. She already suspects it anyway yesterday.
But I remember something happened two, three years ago.
Sure. And. And I agree with Rocco the now. Absolutely. Now is not the time. As in like anytime. Anytime in the near future.
Because it's actually starting to get better. Like things are actually starting to turn around.
Of course. And so you Know, let's just say three years from now. Like, all right. I had to put a timeline on it. Okay. Like, because this. My healing journey, dude, took me a good four or five years of. A lot of work, man. A lot of meditative practices. Like, I would say, after you've gone to a spiritual retreat. And she's done a few things too.
Right.
It's not just you. Like, she's gonna have to do a little work. Yeah. Once more your parties start to work, and more and more of this healing process goes through, then. Yeah, absolutely. Do Calvin and then Trent. Calvin. What Can't. What came up for you during this exercise? Oh, man.
So many things, or.
You've seen us do this once or twice.
Yeah, no, I've. I've seen it done, and I've done it before on the island, but, you know, every time, new comes up.
So.
Do you want me to share one about me or about someone else? Which one did you want?
Whichever one you want, brother.
So one of the ones. And this is kind of weird, but one of the ones that I've struggled with lately is it's kind of like letting go of the. My past in la. Like, when I left la, I was so sure I wanted to do it, and I was like, I got money saved. I'm gonna go to Nashville. I'm gonna become this, like, badass trader. And I left a lot of, like, relationships behind, like, friends, my bosses, everything. And then I just thought, like, I could move and, like, keep those old work relationships, like, the way they were and they weren't. And I wasn't feeling the camaraderie or the hominess like I used to. And I got really bitter about it, and I was, like, just sort of pissed off that I couldn't be. I got mad at them. I was like, why? Like. But I kind of realized it was also my fault because I was so far away. And, like, I missed my boss's wedding. And, like, they tried to convince me to stay, and, like, I didn't. And, like, when I resigned, I just wrote an email. I didn't even do it in person. And, like, I don't know, I just. It's. It's been hard. And then, like, I kind of went downhill for my finances, and then I was like, damn, like, if I had to stay. But things have been different, and it's always been something that's, like, on me. It's hard to explain, but I think about it a lot, and I don't. I don't really know where I'm going with it, but maybe you can help me out.
Well, I mean, that's. Those are things that you're working on forgiving yourself for. Like, right?
Just.
Yeah. Like, I had this whole, like, dream, I guess, of, like, I'm gonna go to Nashville and, like, get back into church and find, like, this Christian girl, and I'm gonna, like, become this badass stock trader. And, like, none of that really happened. Like, I learned. I. I learned about stocks. Like, I met you. I've learned a lot, but, like, haven't really made that, like, money. We just lost money trading, like, with some. Some exceptions, like, some certain months and stuff that were really good. I went. I got back into church, but, like, the girl I met, like, cheated on me. So then I'm like, fuck church. I'm just going to go find a girl that's, like, not Christian. And then, like, eventually I moved away from Nashville, and I'm in Florida. And sometimes I'm just. I feel lost, and I. I blame myself. I'm like, dude, like, what did you do? Like, did you. Is this just life? Like, did you give up on a dream? Like, what? Where are you right now? So it's just very. Like, sometimes it's kind of destabilizing, and I'm just trying to. I don't know. Sometimes I just get mad at myself.
Like, you're looking. You're looking for love in other places, and you need to find it in yourself.
Thank you. Perfect.
Yeah, man. You got.
You're. You're lost because you're. You're.
You're.
You're going all over the place to find love, and you need to find it within yourself. And once you truly, truly, truly love on yourself, the rest of that shit just comes, right?
And it's funny because, like, there's a lot of positives, too. Like, I was just talking to my best friend yesterday about it. I'm like, despite all that stuff happening, like, I do have a great girlfriend. I live in a nice house. We have an airbnb business. Like, she just got a new job. I'm looking for jobs right now. Like, you know, I have two beautiful animals, pets. Like, I do have friends that I stay in contact with. Like, there's a lot of positives I just sometimes dwell on. Like, the past.
You know, it's all materialistic things, though. Things that can come and go. What. What's within you that you love so much that can't just come and go. Like, the fact that you're doing this right now, the growth that you're putting into yourself the personal work that you're putting into yourself. Like, all of that shit is huge. And I'll tell you what, I didn't realize it until Savette said it to me the other day. She was like, Edmund, you're looking for love and all these things. Like, look at the growth that you have, you've come to over the last several months. And holy. Like, that made me feel really good about myself and I didn't need someone else to make me feel good about myself. Like, that was legit growth that I've witnessed in myself and it made me feel good. And like my, my wife, like, my wife was going through this battle like she was in a deep, dark hole, but she's a pretty smart woman. So she was essentially psychoanalyzed herself. Like the counselor was like, bro, I've never seen nothing like it. And the moment she, the moment she started accepting herself for who she is, she started loving on herself and was like, nothing around me is going to tear that down ever again. Including me.
Yeah, no, I. And I think that's great. Like some of the things I've done just kind of for myself, like the weight loss lately has like, felt really good. But I don't know, like, I just get. I just feel guilty sometimes, especially about. Because I was raised in such like a religious home, like Christian home, and the fact that I don't really like subscribe to that as much anymore. Like, it makes me feel guilty a lot.
Yeah.
Well, one of the exercises do with this. The one we're doing right now, Calvin, is you and God, dude.
Yeah, I just feel like. I mean, there's so much guilt that's like preached in the church, I feel like. And I.
Of course, dude, you can write. I mean, this is. You can write down pastors, you can write down elders, you can write down individually people for whoever that made you feel that guilt. Like, you can do this exercise towards them, but we're not.
Some of it's even just. But some of it's even just written in the Bible, like just certain passages and sure persons that are like, damn, man, like, am I gonna go to hell?
You know, Like, I feel like the whole God thing and the whole religion thing can drive someone nuts.
Dude, that's me.
I've been taking a closer look at that myself because I'm new at it and I'm like, do I really have to subscribe to everything that is being said in this Bible? Or can I pick and choose? Because some of this I just.
Yeah, I Hear you.
Because it. It was literally driving me mentally nuts for a little while.
Yeah.
Like I had to this perfect person possible.
Guys hard.
A couple of things. I don't like to talk about religion and politics and all that stuff I've been taught not to say. But the politics, money, religion, whenever you sit around talking to them. But I want to express something. As much as we are distance apart right now, I feel very connected to this group of men.
That's right, baby.
Yeah.
No, this group's awesome.
I love everybody in this group. Even though I'm not seeing Michael, Edmond and Paul, I still love you guys. In a Hindu home. My grandfather was a Hindu priests. I started learning Hindi and Sanskrit from the age of seven Daniel. So I used to go to temple a lot.
Yeah.
But or died. I. My parents at that age convert to Christianity. So I understand the Bible that I was raised with friends who are Muslim who. I also understand the Quran. The way when I look at it the Christian, Hindu and the Muslim dude, they speak about the same God in different contexts. Everything. But even though being in that religion they can't tell. Well, this is the right way. No, this is the right way. No, this is the right way. The Sanskrit spoke about the Bible way before the Bible was written. The Quran come from all that stuff. So the whole relative stuff in my opinion is just be love yourself love be good to people. I think you're gonna get your own identification from God. He's the only one who can judge you. Everybody else off. I don't give a. You only got to prove yourself a one man. You believe there's a God. That's all that matters. Just be spiritual. They all religious stuff is man made. They use religion in this country for tax write off guys.
Yes, yes, yes.
That's a funny perspective. Yeah.
The biggest thing I got, the biggest thing I got from the whole God piece is like the bottom line is. Is God is love.
Right?
That's it. That is it. It's just love. So like if you're. If you have to go make a decision and because we have free will, you have the option to act as the devil would act or you have the option to act as God would act. So you. If you choose love, essentially you'll win every time.
Amen.
And that's really all about it.
It's interesting you say that. I knew this guy. I'll just finish up with this. I knew this guy. It was like a great uncle of my. In my family. And he was like super, super smart guy like IQ and like the 150s, 160s, like, very successful, just a lot smarter than me. And he, we were talking about like God one time and he's like, yeah, he's like, you can experience God, you can feel God. I'm like, how? And he's like, whenever you feel love, he's like, when you feel love, you're in the presence of God. The same thing you're saying, because God is love. And I was like, that's actually really cool to think about, you know, like, even if, like you're hugging a loved one, like you're actually experiencing God in.
That moment, it's cool.
That is really great, man. Last, last week or two weeks ago, when we were in Santa Fe, we were working with Reverend Michael Beckwith and he's a very famous pastor and preacher. And he said that religion, if you guys want to write this down, it's good. Religion is people who are afraid of hell. Spirituality is people who've already been through. It's good, right? Where it's just like, you know, when we talk about. And that's why I mentioned earlier, like the very, very beginning of class when I talked about you can only ascend as high into your heaven as you're willing to go down into your personal health. I've also dealt with a lot of religious grief and a lot of religious trauma and a lot of the forgiveness exercises that we've done. We've only, we're only halfway through, by the way, this current exercise. A lot of the work that I've done was towards Bible and also my understanding of the Bible, right. Because there's some beautiful people, beautiful people who have theology degrees and who have studied all different types of, you know, religious texts. I'm like you, Rocco. I've studied Hindu Buddhism, Taoism, Taoism, Muslim Jew, Judah, Judaism. I've done a lot of studying on religious beliefs and religious texts and all, you know, all kinds of fun things. And long story short, it does kind of come down to what Edmund mentioned, is that the main tenant, the main theme is that God is love. And when we're talking about what we can do in this exercise, we can forgive our interpretation of judgment, we can forgive ourselves, we can forgive the people who taught us the, their interpretation where it's hate, hate and anger and, and, and murder and hellfire and fear, right? We can forgive them of that as well. And so if you guys think that this is a one time thing, you can just do this once and you're like, oh, I'm good forever. Your homework is to do this every day for this week and pick a new person that's going to be.
Love it.
Pick a new person. We've done you and we've done someone else. We've done two people every single day this week. Pick someone brand new and it could be an eight minute.
Like, oh man.
This one guy in seventh grade said one mean thing to me. Cool. Sounds great. So Trent, share with us man, what came up for you during this particular exercise before we hop into the next one?
Yeah, it's kind of just more of the same stuff I've been saying. I don't want to sound like a broken record, but it's more like just excuses and a lot of the guilt and shame stuff that is just super self inflicted. I think we can all kind of relate to some of that and kind of to what Calvin was saying.
A lot of my.
I always go back to like, I don't have that much to complain about. And even the people that have quote unquote, done me wrong, it's just ticky tacky like that I let happen for the most part, you know, like I, I didn't stand up for myself or I didn't just people pleasing, saying yes, doing stuff that. Doing stuff for free, you know, just basically like diminishing my value and the stuff that I'm. The services that I provide and stuff like that. And just doing a lot of stuff for free and just not charging enough and not making enough money. Like it always comes back to money. Like me and money have like this really weird relationship. I've already said that, you know, multiple ways throughout this class. But a lot of the other stuff that, you know, like a lot of stuff that money can't buy, quote, unquote, like I'm good in those categories. And that's stuff that I'm, you know, super grateful for.
And.
You know, I wrote this letter to myself and to like my excuses, which sounds stupid, but that's like what came up. And it really is just a bunch of excuses like just being soft and being weak and like not standing up for myself. And you know, like outside of that, I don't really have much to be mad about. You know, like, I don't have.
This is an anger.
A lot of bad relationships I don't have, you know, a lot of people angry at me. I don't have, you know, like me and my girl are good. Like I got great friend groups, I got great mentors. I got like, things are good. It's just money, dude. Like it's Always been like that. And it's. I, it is that boy, it's like that boy prince stuff because again it's just me and my folks and as long as I'm in their good graces and like we've made money together and there's like they got money. I technically kind of got money because it's always until I really that up which I'm not going to. So it sounds, it's that boy prince stuff that I've. That we, I mean me and you have talked about a lot, Jeremy. But like it's like I'm, I'm good though. Like all the, you know, like some of the stuff even Edmund was saying, like the possessions and the materialistic stuff and having, you know, nicer things or more things like that doesn't even really entice me that much. And I just kind of, when I step back I'm like this money stuff's gonna, it's, it's okay. Like I'm not destitute. I'm not all the way broke. I'm you know, paying my bills. I'm making money. I'm keeping this business alive. The business itself is like worth a lot. You know, it's, it's, it's, it's all relative but just like actual cash flow money in the bank stuff is always a stressor but. And again it's just excuses. Like I, I, I, as soon as I say all that stuff out loud, it's just excuses and I gotta like that's what I've, you know. And even with the walk stuff like I just kept finding myself like bringing up stupid that I was mad about. That like means nothing. Like it's some like client stuff that like was bringing me a few hundred dollars a month that I, that I'm like just stupidly holding on to and stuff. It's just like it's, it's the more the end again, like that was the main takeaway. Like a text of the group. Like just letting or letting go of that number one is then super liberating. And I catch myself all the time. Like those recurring thoughts like man, that person kind of sucks. And then I'll be like, what's the point of even like holding on to that? Like it's not worth it at all. And like giving them brain space, giving them energy and even, and even like having, having that resentment, it's just so, it's just, it doesn't do anything. And the more that, and it's just taken away from blessings coming and other stuff. That we can. That I can use to like, you know, really be focused on what matters. So that, that's. That's been the main thing. And this letter was cool. It was really just to myself and to these excuses. Like, what are you even doing? Like, this. This stuff isn't hard. I'm in the same easy. The saying easy homework has worked. Dude, that shit's fire. I'm like, dude, this is not even hard. Like, all I have to do is like, push, record for people and like get paid and like go around and like do like what God's called me to do. Like, this shit's easy. The rest of it's gonna take care of itself. And like, again, just like when the, the anger and the resentment stuff pops up, it's just like, that's not easy. That's really stupid to hold on to. So do you.
Do you beat your. Do you beat yourself up a little bit because. But maybe you're doing it because everything is so easy for you right now. Like any life has always been easy for you. And you're like, why, You're. Because people get addicted to chaos. Why isn't my life more chaotic? I'm sitting here listening to all these other guys and they got this chaotic life, and I don't have this chaotic life. Like, instead of settling in and being ease. Like, you're looking for chaos.
Yeah, bro, that. That's the, that's the. That's guilt and shame stuff I feel all the time. And I don't.
You don't need to feel it.
Yeah, I appreciate that. And I've even some of this. I mean, definitely this class. And I've also done some inner healing stuff with this like prophet guy I've gotten connected with. And he's.
He.
He coined the phrase like it was false servitude. It was like a crazy version of self sabotage and even like self annihilation. Like all stuff that doesn't.
Yep.
Like, and God's like. Or he was. He basically like channels guys. Like, God doesn't want that. Like, you're not even. Obviously God called you to serve. You know, God calls you to, you know, love people and all that and like, be there for people, but you're doing it wrong and you're like going about it the wrong way. And you're like, you're doing a version of it that's not from God damn, dude.
Like that.
That your whole entire existence.
So, yeah, you don't. You don't. You don't need to look for chaos. You're you're good. You're good right where you're at.
Yeah, I'm good at bringing peace too, man. That's something I'm like. I'm kind of like I just need to lean into that more. And like I trip more times than not when I show up, things get better. And I like, I just need to recognize that's a gift and not something I should be sorry about. It's kind of crazy.
What's your definition of you being rich?
Good one.
Damn.
Just more freedom financially, like being able to go and do more. But ultimately a lot of it's there, you know, I think a lot of it's there, but, you know, I still just. Being able to do more of the work I'm doing. Being able to do. Just being able to just have less worry of money and being able to.
You got your happiness tied to money, bro. And I can tell you exactly. Once you get it. Once you get it and you got it and it's all there, you. It does not bring happiness.
You'll be looking for chaos. You'll find it in money.
Feel like, yeah, money, money. So. So God says. God says there's no other idol but him. Right now you're idolizing money.
Bro. This is how I look at being happy. I'm happy to Edmund said. I mean, Germany said. What is happiness, people? What it is. You don't even understand how rich you are right now. You don't. And how wealthy you are mentally, emotionally, unconnected.
Yep.
The material, like Jeremy said, comes and go like the wave crashing into the ocean, bro. If you. Isn't how much you make is what you keep. And that is something you need to build on your own and see how well you can keep that. And then maybe that will synchronize with what you got right now. Your actual real wealth and your happiness with the physical attributes, which is your money. And you want to get where you want to be. Money does things and laughing games, but it's not the real thing. Look, I have friends who are the title company. They're bankers. They own their own bank. And they don't want to go home to their wives. They are miserable.
Yep.
Miserable that they're like, rocco, I trade my life with you any day. I'm like, nah.
Keep your life. Don't trade me.
What about Matt?
What about you, man? Matt, R. See you. See you looking.
What? Yeah. What?
Well, I. I guess the question I have for you is like, what's.
What's specifically to do more for you, like. And I'm not talking money, like, and that's the thing.
Like, yeah.
So the work I do is a lot of. It's basically podcasting for the most part, but just being able to kind of take this. The company's called Spread the positive. The missions bring light to what's going right. Stuff that's actually working. This group is a perfect example of all things the mission of my company. So bringing people together, talking about conversations that need to be had, like creating these shows, creating this platform. Like we got this really awesome back end system for people to like tap into and like contribute their own content to this mission and stuff. And it's. It's just. It's still just being like tiptoed around and I haven't. I know Jeremy's been pushing me to like push the mission more and I just. It's the fear and the scare. Like the fear and the doubt just keeps holding me back. And like we got everything we need. Like everything's in place to like blow this thing up. And it's. It's really cool where we're at like, like250,000 downloads across the platform. Like we produce over 30 shows on a monthly basis. You know, it's like helping people tell their story and tell their like, mission and like, like their purpose in life is something like we've really streamlined and we got really cool stuff that we're doing. And like my big dream is to just be able to do that wherever and be able to. It's basically the opposite of the news cycle, dude. Like anything you see on Pick your favorite news cycle, like we just want to talk about stuff that's working, bringing people together. It sounds cliche. It's not just a positive news outlet that doesn't work. It's more like real engagement and real like real storytelling, real content, connection and community. But yeah, man, like that. That's the big. That's the big goal. I was. Jeremy connected me with this incredible virtual assistant lady friend that he has in Italy and she's been like, she's been like really kind of cracking the whip on me to like get my together and she's helped me a lot with like just the branding and the mission and the like the one page is like so clear and concise now and like, it's just super on point. And so all this stuff that's kind of just been circulating all over in my crazy head and is like really kind of coming together and like again, the foundation that's been laid is super, super solid. The. The circle super Solid. And now it's just, like, really doing it and doing the work and really pushing the whole thing. So, like you said, I'm in a great spot, man. Like, I'm not taking anything for granted.
And.
I want to pause there for a second. Yes, I agree. I agree with everything you're saying, Trent. Keep in mind this, man, what you appreciate, appreciates.
Yeah.
And one of the things I really want you to focus on and I think what would be helpful for you, since you are a words of affirmation person. Right. You love hearing how great you are. So I want you to start saying it to yourself.
Yeah.
Do me a favor. Today, I want you to say, I am so rich with money right now. I want you to do it at least 30 times today. Because here's the truth, dude. You're waiting for something that you already have.
Yep.
You already got money. You're like, you. If you want to ask your parents for money, they would give it to you. I can't ask my parents for money. Technically, you're richer than me, Right? My dad's dead, and I pay my mom everything. Dude, my mom has no money. So it's like, I have to give my parents money. Right? That's a gift. Like, what a cool gift you have. That's amazing. Who cares if you. If you have. You get to talk to your parents about money. Like, what if they had a trust fund and they got $40 million? They want to give you $2 million to help your business grow.
Okay.
Awesome.
Right?
Take it and grow the family legacy. That's amazing. Start. Start working on and thinking and using the word money, because that's the. You mentioned and you have mentioned a few times, which is. Which is brilliant. We know that if that's your big struggle, the first way to get rich is to feel rich. There's a difference between feeling rich and being rich. Like, Rocco said, you could own your own bank and not go home to your woman. But you and your woman have a great relationship, so you have what they don't have.
Yeah, bro.
A woman that'll hug you and give you a back massage and give you kisses and, like, feed you dinner. And you love her and you actually cherish her, right?
Absolutely.
She's amazing. So I. I trade my bank account for that.
So, dude, just start telling yourself right now you're like, I'm really rich with money right now. I actually have everything I need right now. I feel like I have everything I need right now. I am extremely successful right this second. And repeat some of those Verbal affirmations to yourself out loud, Trent, for the next three or four weeks or maybe even every day. Because that's also spreading. The positive is you. You just saying to yourself, right? Because batteries have to have a negative charge and a positive charge in order to work, right? So we can have negative feelings. Awesome.
I'm good at those.
Energize those negative feelings with positive words. That's right. Because the truth is, dude, you are like, you're waiting for something that you already have. And you're just. Usually, you haven't. You have a Christmas present you've never opened. You know, Christmas morning is here. You just never unwrap the box. So here's the last part of this exercise, team. This is a fun one. The last part of the exercise. So we. What we did is we focused on the negative, right? The negative charge of the battery, right? Batteries have to have two charges of work. So we went, who am I? I'm such a piece of shit. All the things I didn't do right in my life, all the things that I failed at, all the things that I need to forgive myself for or forgive the other person for. If you wrote down two people, right, Rocco, like my ex, you stupid whore. How dare you. Blah, blah, blah, right? All the negative things. Now, what I want you to do is write down in your life everything that you would not have had you never met that person. And if again, one of those people were you, which all of it was for us, right now, I want you to write down all of the things that you would not have had you not been born. If your life did not exist, who would you be impacting? Who would you not be impacting? Sit down for a moment and let's feel how many people you've actually already touched in a positive way. And let's do that for the next 10 minutes. Go ahead and begin writing down. What would not be in your life had you never been, who would never be impacted. Rocco, your son would not be here if you were not perfect boy. Wouldn't be here if your ex wasn't in the picture had you two never met your beautiful, perfect son. Never.
All right.
You've helped so many people with their message, with their business. Your parents have received and felt so much love. They've been able to pour their blessing and their spirit onto someone creating a legacy for their family, for your family, for your family's. Your dad was probably so happy when he said, saw that he had a son, his legacy. Write down, my gentlemen, all the things that you would not have in life. You ever met yourself? Never been here. See who went nice and deep. Michael, were you able to go nice and deep, brother? What'd you get for us? Fell in love with fitness myself or been myself. I. I realized that, you know, my passion for fitness is very deep rooted within myself, and that's something that.
I.
Have a lot of passion for. I would have never had my four step children that I'm very grateful for. They've. They've given me a lot of purpose, my life, and something to fight for every single day. And not only would you not have them, but they wouldn't have you. Yeah. They wouldn't have a dad as powerful as you, man. Yeah. I take for granted, too, the place I live in right now like I would. Never lived in paradise, bro. They live in Hawaii.
Hello.
These kids have the greatest life ever, dude. They can just go outside, run on the beach, and go surfing all day because of you. What a life you gave them. It's good to feel our accomplishments, gentlemen. I mean, we've done a lot. Guys, when you sit down and go, like, wait a minute. There'd be so many people that would have so many things if I had never even shown up, if I wasn't here. And if you wrote down two people, right, Rocco, how many? How many what? Wouldn't happen if you never met your ex? She was in your. Your letter as well.
I never met, But I strive every day to be a role model in my life. And as much as she moved on with her life, she still gave me the opportunity to have a very cordial relationship, to be part of my son's life, and to move forward. And we get along very respectfully with each other. I am grateful for that.
There you go. Yeah.
One thing that I have a daughter who's 17 years right now. Smart kid. Going to NYU. Full scholarship for neurology. That my first marriage, I got. I walked out of that. I was very, very unhappy. I got married at the age of 25, so I was very lucky. And if I knew the things I know now, back then, maybe it would have been different. But I can't go back to that. But we separated, and I've been in my daughter's life from the time she opened her eyes to this world. The current. I've been there too. But I felt like the detachment come between her recently is because of her mother. Now, she's of an Indian background, of course, but they are. They have what you call like a stem family kind of relationship going on, but she puts Poison Gabby's head down. Oh, well, you're that. But knowing my ex wife, she was. She's splurging everything. See, she don't know. She don't have respect for money. She get a hundred dollars, she goes to her stuff. What I did, I stopped supporting her individually and I started doing stuff for my daughter. But she keeps telling her, I'm almost certain I'm 99. Sure, a bunch of stuff about me. Oh, that's that. She did that, all that, but she forgot to mention it. Her dad is still in her life. In it.
Yeah.
Have a good relationship. Like, we don't communicate a lot.
But.
If you weren't here, she wouldn't be here at all.
But they don't see it though.
You have to.
But I. I feel like she is in her head. She feel entitled. And honestly, she's ungrateful. I've tried my best many times to even explain to her, to teach her to show. But she got bent in that way. I guess it's a teenage thing, I don't know. But as a dad, it hurt my feeling a lot.
Sure, totally. And it's very understandable. But yes, the more you heal, the more those relationships around you heal, because it's an energy that everyone's connected. And so as you begin to continue elevating, to continue pouring into yourself, into your spirit, into your mind, your body, your soul, that'll begin to pull everyone's relationship that you've had in the past, including your daughters, to. To a completionary standpoint where everyone feels more whole. And these are. And you can also write down the forgiveness exercise for your daughter. I'm sure she's hurt you in all kinds of ways, right? I'm sure she said mean things. You hurt your feelings, made you feel abandoned, made you feel not good enough, not loved. And you can write those things down to her. And then, of course, you can write down all the things that you wouldn't have in your life had you never met your daughter. So it's this process showman that we get to do. And again, my challenge, I would love for you gentlemen to do this every day this week. Now, I'm not gonna be able to hold your hand to make you do it, but I would love for you to do it because it's a very, very powerful exercise. You can get extremely creative and it can be very quick. Right. In Trent's situation, Trent's so rich already, it's gonna take him seven seconds to be like, oh, I'm already so rich now. And I already have so much in my life. I don't even have anyone to problem. I don't have problems. I'm just so. I'm just so blessed and unstoppable. I'll come up with one thing that one person's done to me and I'll get over it because I'm just so wealthy right this second. So it'll be fast for Trent, but for the rest of us, it'll probably take like whatever, 10, 15, 25 minutes. Put on some music. Put a little bit of angry music. Write down all the things that someone did to hurt you. And then write down in a whole different letter, a whole different piece of paper, everything that you would not have in your life had that person never been met. I never met or interacted with that person. I would like you to burn the paper, the negative paper. So go ahead and throw into any fire that you want, wherever you want, you just burn. It shouldn't be that difficult to figure out how to do that. And one other small piece, we will still be meeting on Monday, and on Monday we might go through some of the slides I had intended for us today. And I'm happy to also answer any questions about stocks, investing, wealth, money. If anyone has any questions about those things. Right. Feel free to hit me up with it. But then on the side note of that, Tuesday, Tuesday we have a guest who's going to be helping us with some of questions for 30 minutes from 6:30 to 7:30 Central, 7:30 to 8:30 Eastern. I've already sent all of you the calendar invite for that. But it's this Tuesday, a different time, very special time. We've never had a class like this before, so it is a little bit unique. And we're doing this. The lady we're gonna be, we're gonna be welcoming in her name is Lauren Zoller. And I want each and every one of you to have a powerful question for one big question. Something for your soul, something that you either need healing on, you want some information on, you want some wisdom on. She's a very, very powerful healer. She has numerous degrees in somatic healing, which is the healing of the nervous system. She's an incredible person. She's the fiance of my best friend. Anyway, great woman. You'll really enjoy meeting her. And I will record that, obviously. So, gentlemen, thank you for being with me on Saturday morning. It's. It's something I look forward to. I don't know if you guys noticed or not. I'm always excited to be with this group. And I agree with what Rocco said. I love you guys. This is great group, dudes. It is. And in a month, we can all be together. So we're going to be at that KOA in October. So again, you guys all have the invites for that for Nashville, if you can make it. Feel free to. Paul has already got to experience a KOA and he's looking forward to doing another one. So I love you, gentlemen. You're the best. I'll see you Monday, and I'll see you Tuesday night.
