Jess argues that most people date from a place of extraction, expecting partners to heal their wounds. No external person can do that work. Real change requires rewiring your subconscious narratives and healing your nervous system so you can show up whole.
Most people are dating from a place of extracting from the other person, meaning that you're looking to the other person to try to fill a void or soothe something within you. This is actually the model that we've been trained to relate from through societal programming, and it doesn't work because the thing is that nobody can actually heal you for you. Nobody can come in and do that deeper healing for you, no matter how amazing they are. And when we're coming to relationship from that place of needing to fill something inside of ourselves, it will never ever be enough. So the work is actually to rewire your subconscious mind, get really clear on the narratives that are not serving you, and start rewriting them, and heal your nervous system. And only then will you align with healthy Love.
