In a candid, first‑person monologue recorded from Tokyo during his honeymoon, the speaker recounts experimenting with an AI tool as a personal coach while navigating major life decisions—marriage, a potential move to the United States, and complex tax issues. The AI generated a wealth of options and concrete solutions, but the speaker ultimately rejected it, preferring his two human coaches (a business and a personal mentor). He explains that the key difference lies not in the quality of advice but in the coaches’ presence, status, and the emotional weight they carry. Human coaches command respect and a subtle intimidation that prompts deeper reflection, whereas the AI feels like a “bitch” that can be commanded without reverence. From this experience he draws a broader lesson for coaches and consultants: their value proposition extends beyond problem‑solving to include the aura of status, respect, and even fear that keeps clients engaged and reduces churn. He advises practitioners to cultivate and protect that high‑status image in their marketing and client interactions, warning against over‑relatability or low‑status behavior that can erode perceived value.
Chapters
Good morning from Tokyo on my honeymoon. So that's what's going on. But, um, I sent an email yesterday. I started writing because, uh, you know, I get bored. So I started writing about whatever. This one was about AI, and I sent out an email kind of on a whim yesterday that resonated with a few folks. So I wanted to expand a little bit on it. So AI, is it going to replace coaches, coaching, consulting, and whatnot, or will it not, right? And I tried AI recently, specifically about coaching myself through a few of the big decisions that I'm going through right now, because I'm making a lot of decisions that are going to be permanent, or at least, you know, they're going to be for a while. Like, I'm a married man now. I am thinking of moving to the US. Well, I'm on the process of it. I'm doing the whole taxes thing because apparently it was a big mess. And I'm just doing a lot of things that at times it could get a little overwhelming. So I thought, why not try my hand at this AI thing? And I did. And honestly, it knocked it out of the park. It told me everything and it gave me great avenues, things that I haven't thought about, new options, gave me a lot of solutions. And it was lovely actually. Like it was fantastic. And yet it didn't work for me. And yet when I finished, I thought, yeah, I'm not thinking, I don't think I'm gonna do this thing again. I'm gonna keep kind of journaling and asking real humans about it. So what, what happened? What made the difference? And when I was thinking through it, what was the difference between this AI coach and my human coaches, which I currently have two, a business one and a personal one that have been extremely helpful to me. It was that AI, I could just kind of throw everything at it. You know, I just kind of voice noted it out. And it made some sense out of what I said. But to my coaches, I would never do that to them. Like, I would never voice note everything to them or kind of word vomit on them because I just consider it disrespectful, and I respect them too much to do that. No, I just, I just can't do that to them. And that means that every time I send them a message or I want to ask them about something, I have that small pause, as in I kind of know what he's going to say, and often I just delete the message. It's just their presence sometimes that makes a big difference in my life and, and their effectiveness in coaching. Sometimes they coach me just by being there, just by having that presence and having that status. So to them, to my coaches, to me, they're like my senseis, right? They're like my, you know, top guys, they're my masters, and I really learn a lot from them. But AI, it feels more like my bitch. Like, I could just command it. I could just tell it, do this, do that, don't respond to me that way, I don't like that tone. And that lack of status made me feel like, you know what, like, why am I letting my bitch coach me? If you, uh, if you make some sense out of that. So I don't think it's going to get replaced anytime soon in terms of coaching and consulting. You probably already knew that, but I feel there's a big lesson to be learned here in that part of what you sell as a coach or a consultant, it's not just answers. You're just not a problem. You're not just a problem solver. When people come to you with issues, often they want just the answer, right? But there is something else. There's something more that is in the back. It's not just answers that people want from you, it's also that status, it's also that kind of respect that they have for you. So it's not just about being loved or being helpful, in my opinion. There's also a component of it in which— there is also a component which you need to be feared and respected to a degree. To my coaches, I'm a little bit intimidated by them, which is why I respect them so much, which is why I double think, which is why I often get more from them even though they didn't say anything than from my AI coach, which is just a prompt, right? So going forward, I don't think it's something you need to be obsessed with. Don't be obsessed with status because that leads to a very empty and kind of defensive kind of life. But understand that part of the things that people buy from you is that status. If you're gonna do low status behavior, then Kind of think about it a little bit. I personally don't share many relatable things because I don't believe that being relatable sells as much as being the man. So think twice for yourself about how can I keep kind of that level with your people, not just because it's going to help you retain them for longer, which obviously it does. That's just the Machiavellian way of doing things, but also because it is really helpful. It's so helpful that I respect, and I am slightly intimidated by this guy so much that, you know, I think this is what they would say. This is what they would do. And that directs me into the right answer. You don't just sell problem solving. You're not a pump and dump in which you get a solution and then it's over. Actually, that's a one-way ticket to getting a bunch of churn. You also sell status and having that aura that, you know, people respect. So this is part of what you do. It's not just tactics and solutions, it's also a lot of emotions going on when it comes to coaching and consulting. So keep that in mind when you market, and hope you have a wonderful rest of your day.
