Life Mastery Live May 2020 Part 3

Mute. Hello, uh, welcome back to Life Mastery: Find Your Path to Success. Part 3. We've had an amazing morning of speakers so far. Thank you so much to Lubna, Natasha, and Tammy. Later on this afternoon, we have got Jenny and Hannah coming on, and they're going to be talking all stuff around motivation, and Hannah will be talking about intuitive mentoring, and, and she's actually an intuitive soul mentor, and Jenny is a high-performance coach. So we're going to have another great couple of talks with them later on this afternoon. Earlier on, if you were with us, I spoke about the bicycle effect. Which is the basic concept behind interpersonal relationship coaching. Now, during that talk, we touched on the idea of understanding yourself, and one of the reasons that I wrote the book, The People Program, was to help you to do exactly that. The People Program is a coaching book. It's a 6-part coaching book. The first part of the book will talk to you a little bit about the story of my life, now how I learned to understand myself, how I learned to understand how relationships worked, and go through some stories with some explanations about the outcomes of those experiences. The second half of the book is about how you can ask yourself the same questions In order to find the answers that you need in order to change your life. We had a question from one of the people watching early this morning on how we're able to do that, so I'm going to run through with you now the PEOPLE program, 6 parts, and just to tell you a little bit more about how you can start to ask yourself the same questions that I asked myself when I was writing the book. So The People Program is how to overcome your blocks to success by understanding what's really going on in your life, what's really going on in your mind, and giving you tips and techniques on how you're able to change that. As I said, the first part of the book is about my story, but we all have a story. It was only when I understood what my story was and the story I kept playing out that I was able to change what I was doing. The coach I had at the time told me that you keep telling yourself the same story, why don't you just start living something else? And that really helped me to understand that I didn't have to keep doing the same things over and over and over again. And ending up with the same results. I think that's Einstein's definition of insanity, right? So I decided to implement changes in my life which were able— enabled me to live the kind of life that I wanted to live and stop doing the things I was doing in order to keep me stuck in these really horrible spaces. So here is the People Program. So originally I started to write the book because being a transformational relationship coach, it was to look at the success of your relationships. So why you find yourself in toxic and unhealthy relationships, or pattern repeating and finding yourself in relationships you don't really want to be in. Then I realized as I was writing the book that Not only were my relationships affected by the way that I was thinking, but I realized it was also a barrier to all of my other issues in life and was stopping me being successful in any area. So when I was an athlete, I used to run for Great Britain back in my late teens and early 20s, I would completely self-sabotage my ability to be successful. And although I did reach that level of success running for the country, I could have run a lot faster. I would turn up to events where it was raining and really windy, and I'd run a really good time and have a really good race because there was no pressure on me to run well. But when I had ideal sprinting conditions, I would run like a bit of a sack, more or less running very similar times to the ones I was running in windy and rainy conditions. Because I would self-sabotage. I'd go down on the block sometimes and I would be singing songs in my head rather than focusing on the race that I was supposed to be taking part in. As Natasha said earlier on, top athletes, they replay the idea of winning and results over and over in their head in order to try and achieve those results. And then when they actually do do that, it's not such a surprise to their body. You've convinced yourself of what you're going to be doing, and you're just trying to tell your body to do the same type of thing. Whereas I was going down in the blocks telling myself, like singing little songs and thinking about what to have for dinner and all that kind of stuff, and therefore I'd run a really bad race. But when I ran a good race, I was completely focused on it because all the pressure had been taken off of me, or I should say I'd taken all the pressure off of myself. So the first P of PEOPLE Is your problem. So we can't even begin to understand what needs to be changed without first looking at the problems that we've got. I wouldn't take my car— well, I could take my car, I guess— and just say, I've got a problem with my car, can you just change this and change that and then see if hopefully it will work? We usually need to do a bit of a diagnostic. Once we find out what the problem is, we're able to put things in place. To be able to change those. I like to say that if you can understand, then you can accept. It's really hard to accept something if you don't really understand what the problem is. So if I was to have a conversation with you that you— and you didn't really understand it, it would be difficult for you to be able to do anything with it. But if we could have a conversation where you could understand And then you could learn to accept the things I was saying, then it's much easier for us to be able to move on. So when we're looking at the problems, what I would suggest that you do— so grab a bit of paper and pen if you haven't already got that— is just to write a list of the problems that you might have in your life. So the things that make you feel that there's something wrong. That you're unfulfilled, that you're finding it difficult, and just try and understand what the real problem is. Now, we're all under— there's a bit of an issue obviously at the moment with us being under lockdown, so that is a problem. But is that responsible for actually how you feel at the moment? What's the real problem behind it? What problem is it causing you? See if we can sort of break it down into smaller chunks, so then we can have a look at what those problems might be. I won't get you to do that now because it will take far too long, but just jot down that the first thing that we need to look at is the problem. The first E of the PEOPLE is the emotions. So as I said earlier on, if you were around for the bicycle effect, that we are driven by our emotions. I think it's Tony Robbins that says E-motion. The emotions cause motion. So if we have a feeling about something, then that will drive us to react in a certain way. And if we don't have an emotion to it, generally we don't really care too much. And it doesn't— we don't really want to do anything about it. With your emotions, what are you feeling? Are you able to recognize what your true emotion is as well? So I like to think of things like anger as a secondary emotion. You don't immediately get angry. You get angry about something, and the feeling that you're originally going to get will lead to you getting angry. Generally, that's something around about pain. Nobody likes to feel pain. And again, as I said earlier on in the bicycle effect, pain is one of the things that our brain likes to run away from. And if you can put a different mechanism in place to deal with your pain, then you will. So think about how you feel. So if you are angry about something, how do you really feel? What's triggering your anger? So really look at your own feelings. So when I got the road rage, I was angry, but it was because I was feeling disrespected. So see if you can figure out what your real emotions are. And why they're there. So the meanings. So again, this morning we talked about meanings. What meanings are you giving to certain situations which Cause these emotions to happen. Are you telling yourself that you're being disrespected, and therefore you're going to feel disrespected? So check in to see where the meanings are for the feelings that you get. The O of the People Program is operate. So how we act and why we do what we do. A lot of the things that we do which cause us problems might feel like a bit of a compulsion, and that's when the urge to do something overrides our kind of rational and stable brain to be able to stop ourselves from doing it. And then generally what we're doing that for is because there's a need that we've got. We are driven by our needs. And if those needs are maladaptive or unhealthy, then we will be driving ourselves forward to achieve things, to do things in order to meet those needs, even though they may be causing us problems. Our compulsion comes from the emotions and how we feel. So again, we need to tap into those emotions and then figure out how we are operating. What are we doing? How are we acting? What kind of actions are we taking that compel us to act in a certain way? If you can figure out how you operate, then we can have a look at the outcomes of those behaviours and see if they're actually suited, so serving you with a positive purpose or not. Something I touched on earlier as well was patterns. Now, patterns are really, really important to recognize because they are repetitive. They will lead us back to the same space over and over and over again. And if that space that we keep returning back to is unhealthy for us, makes us sad, unfulfilled, angry, disappointed, then what we need to try and do is have a look at those patterns to see what actually are we doing. And the patterns will lead us to experience the most negative outcomes in life. Generally, that's the case because it's a repetitive cycle. So the pain that you feel the first time then escalates the second time, the third time, the fourth time, and so on. So therefore, if you are on a repetitive pattern of behavior, each time that happens, you become less and less resistant to it, less and less tolerant of it. More and more pain builds upon more and more pain, and it can lead to the really the most negative outcomes that you experience. It all comes from our subconscious. So what we need to do is check into what our subconscious might be telling us. So is our subconscious telling us that we need to be on our own, which was my subconscious message? So was I creating these patterns in my life in order to get a certain result? So the message of being on my own was telling me that I needed to do that. You might find that you'll do different things, or different things will happen in your life which will lead you to the same Spot. It may not be exactly the same, but you might end up with the same emotions or in the same space, but the actions that you're taking are quite different in order to get you there. So do you find if you're going around in these patterns that you actually end up in a specific space, and can you figure out what that space is? So questions to ask yourself. Number 1, What are your triggers? So what sets you off on this path? What sets you off on this pattern? Are there things that people do, things that people say? Are there certain situations that make you feel a certain way, make you do certain things? So understanding what your triggers are. Does your behaviour trigger something in other people? So I spoke about this a bit in my book as well, that I would do certain things in order to get people to act in a certain way so that I could get back to my space. So if I was in a healthy, happy relationship, I would become a bit of an arse, and in order to push that person away from me, because I didn't really know how to handle the niceties of a relationship and how to be close to someone, So I would then act in a way which would push them away. So what does my behavior trigger in other people? Do I want people to care? Do I want people to be angry at me? What is it that I'm trying to achieve by the things that I do? And the routine that you follow— what routine are you following? Notice that you will follow the same type of pattern every time. In order to get to a certain result? Do you notice that it's after a certain amount of time that you put these things into place, so you're happy for maybe 3 or 4 months, and then after those 3 or 4 months comes in, that then your trouble starts? Is it when you have conversations with people about how well that you're doing that you then start to self-sabotage? Do you feel a certain connection to somebody and then want to back away? It's really important that you check out what that might be. And what do you need other people to do? So you're triggering other people to do certain things in order for you to feel a certain way. So you're acting out in order to get people to follow you, to follow what you want them to do in order to get you back to that space. So just check, do you notice a certain behavioral pattern in other people? Do you trigger things in other people that get you to return back to your space? And then what is it you think you're ultimately trying to achieve? So as I said before, my safe space was to be on my own. I didn't really know how to connect with people because it made me feel massively uncomfortable, and it was better, safer for me to be by myself. So therefore I would return to that space every time. So what would your space be? What ultimately is the result you're trying to achieve? So quickly go through the last couple of parts. The likelihood of things not being what they're going to— things are going to be like if you don't change. So what's your future going to be like if you continue to use the same types of strategies in your life? If you can future project, if you feel this way now, is it going to get any better unless you change things? As I said right at the beginning about the story, you're telling yourself a story based on all of your history and your experiences, and is it time for you to turn over a blank page and start to write something else? Can you change your story? Well, yes, you can. You can't change the past, but you can change the way your future works. So get a blank page, start writing your new story. Think about how you'd like things to be. What do you want for your life? How would that be different to what you've got and what you've had? And will you make the changes necessary to make this happen? As I said earlier on, again, with the bicycle effect, that we have this thing called resistance. It's when we put the brakes on when we, when we try and change things. because it'll feel too uncomfortable. One of the things I've got on my membership site is the cycle of change, and that really helps you to understand that in a bit more detail about the phases of change that we go through and why they— we might find that difficult at times. But will you make the changes? Although we can't go back and make a brand new start, we can start now and make a brand new ending. What is the ending that you desire, and how are you going to go about making that happen? And the last part of the PEOPLE programme teaches you how to put everything together. So once you've worked out what your problems are, what your emotions are, how you act, what your patterns are, and then you look to your future to see what the things might turn out to be and actually what you'd like them to be, we put it all together, consolidate the learning that you've got about yourself Enable you to put changes in place that makes your life the way that you want it to be. Remember to take one thing at a time. Don't try and change too much at once because generally that freaks your brain out and it really will hinder your progress if it makes it an overwhelming experience for you. Change can be difficult at the best of times. Small steps Equal a massive walk. So just think about that. You don't have to do all of this at once. You may have jotted down quite a lot of problems in your life, or maybe you've just got one or two. The changes that you need to make may seem overwhelming, but it's about taking this all one step at a time. And it's about consistency. Consistency is the key to change. You don't really learn how to do something new unless you put it into practice on a regular basis. So reinforce your knowledge. Keep reminding yourself of the changes that you want to make, everything that you want in your life, just to remind yourself what it is that you're looking for. And as I've already said, consistency is key. I'll talk to you about my cat in a moment. So what have we got today? So what I'm going to do is just quickly show you what we are actually offering. I mentioned to you this morning that we've got a membership page, and I'm just going to get that up on here. If you go to the John Kenny Coaching website, we have now got a membership page. So the membership site is all things coaching, all around the interpersonal relationship coaching approach. And as you can see, at the moment we are offering a special price, an opening offer of £49 a month with a minimum term of 3 months. Even though it says term, I need to change that. And/or if you wanted to book, join up for 6 months It's only £234, so you're saving £10 a month off the normal membership. The membership page here just tells you all about the membership. You're actually on the YouTube at the moment, and one of the videos in there will tell you all about the membership itself. Once you've joined up, let's open that up. Where are we? Is that gone? I can't see this. Maybe this one. Let's have a look. Bear with me for one second. Why is that not open? There we go, that's why. Sorry about that. Okay, once you've signed up to the membership site, you will get access to all of the content. So all you need to do is log in. So we've got an audio program here, the How to Create a Positive Mindset. In 3 weeks audio program, and then you've got your 6-week stress management video program. There's a copy of the People Program book, so you'll get a PDF version of that to download. There's the Bicycle Effect book and video, and on these, as you move down here, these are where your downloadable PDFs will be. So if you're looking to reach your goals and dreams, Then what we need to do is just click onto the goals page, and there you have a list. All of these things in blue here, they're all downloadable PDF sheets for you to be able to click on, download, read through, copy. Do what you want with them because they'll be yours. If you want to understand yourself a little bit more, again, just click on the page. There's the sheets here. All you need to do is just click on the list of sheets there. They're all exercises and coaching tips and tools and stuff that you can use. And then right at the bottom, there's a couple of hypnotherapy downloads as well. So how to manage your anger via hypnotherapy, and also helping you to sleep better via hypnosis. So you can listen to those whenever you need to. As I said earlier, we are doing the monthly membership at £49, and all you need to do is to go to www.johnkennecoaching.com/membership and They on on that page there you'll be able to have a look at the details of the membership, and then you can sign up for the six months at £234 instead of £294, which is how much it would usually cost for six months. Or you could sign up for the monthly membership, which is £49 a month, and you can gain access to all of the coaching on there. Not only that, we will be holding live Q&A sessions. So if you want to delve into the world of coaching and you're not really sure if you're ready to take the plunge in speaking to a coach themselves at the moment, then we will have live Q&A sessions running throughout the month where you can send in questions or come on live with myself, and we'll be answering questions around coaching, relationships, and everything that you need to know. And we will also be doing live webinars, so live webinar trainings will be included, and then they'll all be recorded and popped onto the website so you can revisit those anytime you like. If you are interested in one-to-one coaching and you'd like to know more on a more personal basis, then you can also contact me, John Kenny, at www.johnkennicoaching.com and just click on the contact button there, or drop me an email at john@johnkennicoaching.com, and we can talk about what the coaching that you need in your life And I also offer a 30-minute consultation for free. If you'd like a bit longer, then it does cost a little bit, but we can, we can have a chat about that once you message me. But if you would like to have a talk about the coaching, then just drop me a line and we can have a chat and book in a 30-minute consultation. Obviously, most of that stuff is now online at the moment, but when you are able to get back out. If you are local to the Hertford or Cheshunt area, then I do have offices there where you can come and do face-to-face sessions. That is it for me for now. I hope that you've made a few notes about the PEOPOL program and are going to start looking at the issues in your life that may be causing you problems and being able to think about it a bit more deeply And think about the things that you could do in order to turn your life around. Thank you for watching. I'm just going to close this up now. We'll be back in about 15 minutes or so for the next speaker. Go and grab yourself a cup of tea, whatever you want, and I'll speak to you again soon.

John, can you see me? Can you see me? Can you hear me? John, can you hear me? Done.

Done. Hello, and we are back live with Life Mastery: Find Your Path to Success. I hope you have enjoyed everything that you've seen so far and taken a lot of inspiration, motivation, and written a lot of things down about how you can put things into place immediately in order to help you in your life. Our next speaker coming up now is Jenny Varano, and she is a High performance coach. Super excited to have her here today, and I will just grab her from the waiting room. See where she is. Just waiting for Jenny to join the room. Seems to be a little bit of a delay there. Let's just see. Here we are. Hello, Jenny.

Hello.

How are you?

How are you?

Very good. How are you today?

I'm good, thank you. Can you see me well?

We can see you, yes.

Yeah, can you hear me?

Yep, loud and clear.

Awesome.

Great. Um, thanks very much for coming on today. I'm going to leave you to wow the people with your presentation, and I'll speak to you afterwards. Okay, you ready to go? Can you hear me? Can you hear me okay, Jenny? Yes, she's just doing it. Hello. Hello. What's happening?

Hello. Hi. Can you see my screen?

I can, yes.

Yeah.

Okay.

Is that better now? Yeah. Can you see it now as a presentation?

Yeah. You just carry on.

Okay.

Hi.

Hi, everybody. Thank you so much for Being here today. Okay, guys, I— this was replaying for some reason. Anyway, thank you for being here today. Thank you, John, for inviting me, for putting this event together. Um, and let's get started. My name is Jenny Verano. I am a high-performing coach. I help women and men to transform their lives. Thank you.

Are you having trouble with your slides, Jenny? Can you hear me?

I can hear you. What happens is that I speak and then it repeats what I'm saying, what I said already.

You've got it on somewhere. Have you got YouTube on somewhere?

Oh my God, yeah, must be that.

You've got it on in the background, you need to turn it off.

Yeah, yeah, no, the slides are fine. I was just listening to myself on YouTube as well.

Yeah, no problem, just, just, uh, just crack on again. You just need to turn the YouTube off in the background. Are your slides working okay? No. Just click on the slideshow and then from beginning it should just work.

Just the screen got too small.

Take a deep breath.

I can't share it. I can't see anything. It's black.

Okay, stop sharing your screen for a second and now click on screen share again. Okay, and then try again. You're up and running. Good. Is that gonna work? I can see your screen now and I can see your first slide.

Okay, yeah, okay guys, let's start all over again. I'm sorry about that. My name is Jenny Verano. I am a high-performing coach. I help women and men to transform their lives by developing success habits. Welcome. Thank you, John, for inviting me. Right, so Today I have a question for you. Do you want to build good habits or get rid of bad ones? You probably have heard it before: if you want to change your life, you need to change your habits. Why? Because 95% of everything that you think, feel, do, and achieve is the result of habits. And what is a habit? Let's start with that question. Habits are seemingly unconscious behaviours that get repeated enough times until they become automatic. You probably know someone that has the habit of getting back from work and watching TV. And maybe grabbing something to nibble while watching TV. The first time that happened, probably they had to think about, what am I gonna eat? Do I have something? The next time, they probably planned a little bit more, thought about it in advance, planned a bit, and got the nibbles beforehand. Eventually, after repeating that behavior several times, it just happened picking up the remote control and the pack of crisps was the same thing. They didn't even think about it, they didn't even realize when they were buying it, but they always had it there. Yes, so in short, that is how habits get ingrained in our brains and we don't realize it. And the fact is that the cost of bad habits is in the future. You don't see it. you, you don't notice the difference immediately, and the cost of a positive habit, you know, is now. Building a positive habit is more difficult sometimes, so this is why, um, today I want you to take you to think about your life, your— the life you experience today is the result of your habits. How happy you are, how successful you are or not, is the result of your habits. The body that you have— you might want to change the number on the scale, but what you need to change really is your eating habits. You might want to change the number in your bank account, but what needs changing is your financial habits. Have you tried the willpower game? You probably need want power instead. Yeah, the willpower, um, willpower doesn't last. You know, you probably have read many self-help books that say that, you know, uh, willpower is a muscle that needs to be trained, blah blah blah, but you still haven't got the results that you want. Right, and why is that? So yeah, you probably are thinking, what Cuba has to do with this? Well, I come from Cuba, from, you know, the land of adventure like nowhere else, and I was in that situation at some point in my life thinking, right, what have I done wrong? You know, that my life is nothing like what I want it to be. I was, by the time I was 24, I had managed to be in a few disastrous relationships. I was overweight and I was working in a job after 5 years at university and 1 year that I lost, a job that paid me $16 a month as a qualified accountant. So you can imagine my life was far from a dream. And I decided, I made a radical decision of changing my life. It took a lot of effort. I had to learn a new language to come to this country. And even so, when I got here, I couldn't speak. With a million accents that there are in England, that was Terrible, and it took me time and effort to. I embarked in a journey of personal development. I had to work on myself to get to where I am today. And one of the things that I asked myself was this: Why some people are more successful than others? What is it that makes some people just? Happy and successful, and I concluded that success is the ability to live your life the way you want, doing what you enjoy with the people that you admire and respect. For me, success is happiness. So today, in this time with me, I want you to learn the habits of the leaders and shakers. who are unstoppable, how to think more effectively, and how to make better decisions and take more purposeful actions. The key is in developing the habits that lead to the results that you want. Now you probably are thinking, so okay, Jenny, how long does it take to build these habits things that you're talking about? Well, there are several theories. Some people say 21 days, other people say 66 days, and it could really take you all your life because if you think about it, habit needs to be built constantly. The minute you stop, you lose the habit. So probably the answer is all your life, but there is a way how we can do it. It doesn't have to be a chore, and really the The time in building a habit depends on the intensity of the emotion that you feel when you are acting in a particular way. There are some low to medium complexity habits that I have mastered and can be achieved in anything, can be built in anything between 14 and 21 days. Some people take months, some people take years to build these habits, and some people never do, yeah, but you know, these could, could be habits to start with, a good, a good starting point, so for example, waking up early, that is a habit that you can develop that will help you a lot, exercising, attending meetings, being punctual, being on time, For meetings, going to bed at a certain time so you get a good night's sleep, so you can wake up early in the morning. Yeah, waking up early in the morning doesn't just happen. You need to have a good night routine in order to have a good morning routine. Making sure that you focus, you focus in one task until completion before you start another task. This is, you know, a million-dollar habit that will save you a lot of time and will help your productivity. And planning, planning ahead, planning the day before, planning the week before. I like planning my week on Sunday, or at least having a general idea of what I'm doing during the week. And then the night before, always set an intention. For my next day, what, what is it that I'm going to be doing on the day? This saves time, saves energy. So now, 5 steps I want to give you to create a new habit. Only 5. Yeah, it can be broken down in many more steps, but I want to make it, keep it simple for you. 5 steps that I do, I take myself when I, when I want to create a new habit. Number 1, decide and prioritize. Whatever your goal is, you need to decide that you are going to begin acting in a specific way 100% of the time, uh, whatever, whenever the behavior is required, and you don't confuse urgent tasks with important ones. As you can see in the, in the table, the Eisenhower box, you can have urgent tasks that are important and others that are not important, yeah, and they can be delegated equally, you know, you can have important tasks that are urgent and not urgent, so it's about deciding What you are going to prioritize in order to take your life to the next level. Number two, exceptions. Don't make excuses. Don't skip. If you are trying to build a new habit and you skip a day, that is danger dangerous because. it can affect, you know, your momentum. You have to really, at the beginning at least, I would say in the first— until you feel that you have developed the habit, until it's easy, until it becomes easy, until it becomes automatic. No skipping, you know. This is the thing, going to the gym once is not going to show results. But skipping the gym once can totally derail you. And, you know, while one workout doesn't, doesn't do much to your body, it does cast a vote for the person that doesn't miss a workout. Huh. Number 3, see it. You have to visualize what you want because this will keep you focused, will give you the motivation. will help you to stay on track. This is what athletes do. Serena Williams, always see myself in the top position. Of course, this is how they win. The same muscles are activated whether you are physically or mentally imagining a task. It applies to physical behaviors like sports or dancing. And I remember when I was a little girl that my grandmother used to tell me that I was— I didn't have any rhythm. She said to me, don't, don't even try to dance because you have no rhythm. And I felt like every time there was music— I love music, I love dancing— I avoided it because I was scared of looking ridiculous. And I did this for a long time. I totally avoided doing, you know, engaging in the behavior that could possibly you know, um, make me look silly, uh, you see. And, and I couldn't, I couldn't develop in that area because of that. And, and really, until one day I, I said one day, you know what, what if she was wrong? But not only that, I started visualizing myself dancing and visualizing myself following the music and the rhythm and listening to the beats. And I believe that that helped me to learn to dance because one day I went to dance and I was pretty good and, and I never practiced much, yeah, so all the practice was mentally and this is why I have added this book in here for you, The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, because this is what the subconscious mind can do. Your subconscious mind is incredibly powerful. It can help you to perform better, it can help you to heal yourself, it's incredible, so I really recommend this book to you. Number 4 is about saying it. You want to say what you want to say, you want to use affirmations to what it is that you want to achieve. Affirmations increase the speed at which new habits get installed For example, if you want to start waking up early, you can say this: I wake up and get up immediately at 6 AM each morning. I say things like, I'm strong, I am loved, I am calm, I'm courageous, I'm worthy, I am enough. I say these things all the time. I love myself because it really helps me to feel more confident. And number 5, Resolve, repeat, and reward. You really want to persist on that behavior that you decide to implement until it happens automatically, until, you know, it happens in a way that you don't even realize, you know, until you feel actually uncomfortable when you don't do it. I feel uncomfortable when I don't exercise. The day I don't train, it's not that, oh, I forgot I didn't train today, or I haven't been to the gym for days. No. I will, I will feel it. I feel like uncomfortable, you know, it's something that I need to do. It's that ingrained, you know, it's so, it's so automatic. Sometimes I, I am, um, working and I take a break, I put a, a workout video and I just do it. 15 minutes, 20 minutes, it doesn't matter. I just do it. It's just easy. Only you will know when you have made those changes, you know, and when that pattern is in place. And if you start skipping, like I was explaining before, you can create a different pattern, so this is why you have to be careful with that. And finally, reward yourself for practicing the new behavior. Why? Because, you know, each time you reward yourself, you actually reaffirm and reinforce the behaviour. Not only that, when it gets challenging, when, you know, obstacles get in your way, you can always, you know, reward yourself as a fun way of recognizing and respecting yourself for your hard work. Now, my top habits for success to help you think more effectively make better decisions and take more purposeful actions. Why? Because these things will make you feel like you are making progress, will make you feel happier, and this is why I want to talk to you about these habits. These are the habits that I use myself. I'm just checking the time. So, this is, you know, there are many more habits that you can implement, But these for me are my top 10 things that I would like to share with you. I'm going to talk about a few of them because I only have like 9 minutes to go. So the first habit is self-discipline. Self-discipline is probably the number one habit that you really need to master. Elbert Hubbard said, and this is a definition of self-discipline that I really like: self-discipline is the ability to make yourself do what you should do when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not. Self-discipline is the key to self-mastery and self-control. The more capable you become of disciplining yourself to do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not, the more positive and powerful you will feel. There is a direct relationship between self-discipline and self-esteem, meaning that the more you discipline yourself to behave the way you decided, the more you like and respect yourself, the more confident stronger and in charge of your situation you become. This is why the happiest, most successful, and most respected men and women in our society have great self-control, self-mastery, and self-discipline. Number 2, become a lifelong optimist. Optimistic? No, a lifelong optimist. So optimistic people, this is probably the most helpful habit you can develop because optimistic people are usually the happiest, the healthiest, the most successful, and most influential in every group and in society. These people, they think about what they want. They also think about where they want— they are going, where they want to go and how to get there. Yeah, so it's all positive. They also think about what makes them happy and positive, and just the fact that they are always thinking about what they want, this makes them feel more energized, more creative. It motivates them and stimulates them to perform at higher levels. Number 3 is to set goals and intentions for each day, and I mentioned this before. You know, this is a quality practice by successful people. When you set goals and intentions for your day, it gives you direction. You know where you're going. You have something positive to focus on. And, um, and I forgot to say, you know, because I was talking about the, the optimistic people, how they think about what they want. What do you think that the pessimistic people do? They think about what they don't want. They think about the problems they have. They talk about their problems. They talk about the people they don't like. They also look for who to blame for the problems. And when they think like this, guess what happens? They get more negative and they get angry. No wonder why all the, all the wrong things happen to pessimistic people, yeah? So, this is why, you know, when you are setting intentions for the day, you want to be optimistic and positive, you want to think about what you want to get instead of what you don't want to get. You know, daily goal setting can save you time and energy. You need to be very specific, and even though your goals are in the future generally, even short-term goals is usually, you know, something that you're going to achieve, you know, within a week, a month, 3 months, 6 months, a year, 5 years. Goals tend to be something that is going to be done tomorrow. But they need to be very specific. They need to be positive, personal, present tense goals and written down. And also visualize. Then you need to visualize your goals and make sure that— because when you do, when you visualize your goals, it actually activates your subconscious mind. And as a result, you start moving closer toward the achievement those goals, right? So the next one, next one in there is to identify key professional skills. Successful people know what are the skills that they need to develop in the field. Normally it's 5 to 7 skills that you need to really master, and the rule is that your weakest skill, your weakest key skill, determines the height of your results and your income. This is why you must develop the habit of continually identifying your, your weakest skill and working on that one. Next one is commit to lifelong learning, and I love this one because I'm all about learning and growing. Why? Because this is the key to develop self-confidence and optimism. A commitment to continuous growth is the way to become excellent at what you do. Reading one book every now and then is not gonna do it. Truly successful people embrace lifelong learning and, and grow their knowledge through, through different methods. 3 things that you can do to grow your knowledge is wake up an hour earlier in the morning and read literature in your field. Another thing you can do is learning from experts, attend seminars, webinars, And another thing that I always do is to listen to audiobooks in my commute, when I exercise, running. I cannot run without a book in my ears because I would stop after, after 5 minutes. This is how average people can become top performers in the field. You don't have to be born a genius, yeah, you can become a genius if you actually practice, commit to lifelong learning. This is what enables people to rise from poverty and frustration to affluence and success. Then the next habit, the next habit there is to take initiative. You want to take initiative because studies show that— studies conducted by the American Management Association concluded that it's not education, it's not experience, it's not background, it's not net worth or intelligence, the critical difference between success and failure. The critical difference from, you know, those managers and executives that are successful and those that fail is that they are constantly moving out of their comfort zone and taking initiative to try new things in new areas. Where the ones— those are the ones that succeed, while the ones that don't succeed, the managers that that are always, you know, passed over for promotion. They are continually waiting for someone to come and tell them what to do. Once they know what to do, they get on with the things and they are quite competent carrying out their activities and tasks and responsibilities, but they need to be told what to do. Initiative is alien to them. These are the people— this is the difference. Taking initiative is the difference that makes people more successful. And then another one in there is visualization. We already spoke about that one, but it's super important. That's why I have included it here again. Visualize how you want to look. Visualize how you want to perform. See yourself performing in that way in that moment when you want to do it. I visualize myself performing here on this presentation. I didn't visualize the Zoom going all crazy, but never mind. But I know that this is the way how I have mastered my physical body, because I did that in the beginning and I still do it. I still visualize myself in the best shape that I can have. I am already 40 years old. So anyway, the next one is to choose your connections. You want to choose your connections. You want to surround yourself by the right people. Why? Because people encourage you or take you down. You know how it is. Some people will be happy for your success. Some people will encourage you because they understand that we are all connected and we can all grow together. Other people might get jealous with your success. You don't want those people around you, so be very selective. With the, the connections that you choose. And meditation. Meditation for me is super essential, and there are many ways how you can meditate. You don't have to sit with your legs crossed and close your eyes. You can go for a walk, listen to music, draw, paint. There are so many things you can do as long as you can bring yourself to the present moment and you can be aware of your surroundings. and you can be a good listener. There are so many benefits in meditation. And finally, believe you can do it. And this is really the number one thing. Believe you can do it. Your belief is everything, and John was talking about it before. I think we have all spoken about belief today. This is why today I have nothing to sell. I have— all I have to say is that I want to offer you for being here, I want to thank you for being here, I want to offer you as a gift, um, a coaching session, coaching session with me to sit down and see how I can help you to advance in your life, to set the right habits, the right goals for yourself to be happier and more fulfilled. Because I believe that we are all connected, and if you are happy, I'm going to be happy too. Also, I believe that life wants you to win, but you have to believe you can and take action. Thank you so much for listening today. If you give me your email, take my email address, and if you give me your email address, if you email me, what I can do is that I can send you a worksheet with exercise, action exercises that you can do To help you get yourself, you know, a plan and get yourself organized to start achieving the things that you want to have in your life, start creating the life that you want to have. This is the perfect time to upskill, to work on yourself, and to start seeing what is happening as as an opportunity to grow and to be better, to come out of the crisis better than you were before. Thank you.

Thank you, Jenny. Let me just put my video back on, and when you're ready, you can stop sharing your screen. Everybody just jot down Jenny's email there if you're interested in getting in contact with her. Thank you very much. Great talk, very interesting stuff. I've got great— some great comments and feedback there. Love this, a couple of big kisses, that's fantastic. Awesome work, well done. Bit of a sticky start, the technology does get in the way, doesn't it, sometimes? Um, but good stuff.

Tell me about it.

Um, so you're offering that free session, so if anyone wants to get in contact, just give us your email again.

Yeah, my email is, um, how do I give you my email? Do I type in the chat?

No, just say it out loud, it's fine.

Oh, it's jennyv.coaching@gmail.com.

Awesome. If you want that free session from Jenny, do get in touch. Thank you very much, Jenny. You'll be back at 4 o'clock for some Q&A, so if anyone's got any questions— there's nothing here on the questions at the moment, um, so I will— got great talk, Jenny.

Did I take too long?

No, no, no, you keep the— someone's just commented there, say well done. Um, excellent. Okay, I'm gonna pop you back into the waiting room and we'll have a little bit of a break, and then we'll have Our final speaker for the day. So thanks again, and I'll see you back.

Thank you.

Thanks again to Jenny for that talk all about habit-forming. Hope you've taken a list of all of those things that she spoke about there and are going to put some of those into practice. And she said there's something I mentioned earlier on, consistency is key, so get these things put into place and practice and practice and practice. We're going to have a short break of around about 10 minutes or so. I'm just going to check the length of the time that we've been online, so I might need to come off of here. I think we'll probably just have time for Hannah to speak. Because I can't actually see how long this has been working for now, for Hannah to speak, and then we will actually— no, just tell you what, I'm going to stop this one now live on YouTube because we don't want to be chucked off again. I think it was around about this time that they did it last time. So if you're all willing to and happy to, we'd be really grateful if— I'm going to stop this for Now, and then I'll log it back straight back on. So come on to Life Mastery Part 4, and we'll see you there in a couple of minutes. Thank you very much.