Life Mastery Live May 2020 Part 2

Are we back?

We should be back. Let me just— let me—

It says live on YouTube.

I'll just— we will go back off my page. Okay, we are live. Let's go.

We're back.

Amazing.

So I'm so sorry about that, guys. There was some technical issue we, we don't know about, But something happened, but we are back. And so I am just going to continue answering that last question. So any of your other questions, because we don't have time for them now, I am going to come back at 4 o'clock, and I am more than happy to answer anything that you guys want to know. I am so excited to speak to you then. I am just going to answer the question I can fit in now, which is all about Instagram and how to grow it. So I did my following of 1 million, over 1 million people on Instagram in just over a year. Many methods that you can do to this, and I teach all of them. I have about 50 incredible secret tips of how to do it. And for now, I just want to explain to you one of the main ones. That's your content. So what you are posting and when. You need to think really carefully about what you are putting out there to the world, what your brand means, what your personal brand means, everything that is relevant to you. And I want you to really think about that, because if you are not putting out content that represents your brand, there is no point in putting it out. I want you to think about what you are putting out there so carefully. Is it a clean shot in the background? Is it really obvious what you are talking about? I really want it to be obvious of what you are selling and clean and professional. When you are building a brand, remember when you are trying to get that huge success, these things are so important at the beginning. The timings that you are posting. You want people to buy. So before 9 AM in the morning and after 6 PM, between 6 and 9 PM local time to whatever country you are in. That is the time to post away. Wednesday at 7 PM, Sunday all day are the optimum times as it stands in my eyes that I have studied on the algorithms of when to post. So make sure you guys are getting ready for those. My final tip quickly, because I wish I could get through all 50 now, is when you are posting and growing your brand and your page, you don't have to post every single thing about your brand. I want you guys to post things which are generic. Stuff which potentially could go viral. Do you know what that means? That means when thousands of people suddenly like your posts out of nowhere because it's hit the explore page. You know that little search bar sign? That's the explore page. So I want you to know you can get to that page when you've got loads of people flying in onto your photo or video. And to get there, you can post something generic. Such as cute animals, which always gets loads of likes and loads of comments. And that is the key thing. Why do you want the loads of likes and loads of comments? Because if you go to the explore page, millions of people can notice you. Right? The other thing to remember is your caption. What you are writing is crucial. Everything I write is all about what I put out there to the world. How to attract your dreams. And I teach you how to implement it. And Instagram is in fact one of the ways to attract your dreams. So I do teach that in all my courses. So you need to use your captions wisely. Always have a call to action. Go to my link in the bio now. And that is all we have time for today, guys. I am so excited to hopefully meet some of you guys and teach some of you guys online and get connected. So my name is Natasha Guarneri. It has been a pleasure talking with you guys here today.

Thank you.

with John Kenny, and I look forward to answering all your questions at 4 o'clock today. Please do come back and enjoy the rest of the day with all the incredible speakers that are lined up for you.

Thanks, Natasha. That was amazing. Sorry about the technical difficulties there. Um, we are back on YouTube now. I just need to try and find that other video link to just direct people across. But we've got it all now back up live, but we just had to restart it again. I think maybe we just went on a bit too long and we got cut off, but I'll check in with that. Thanks again for your amazing talk. I got a couple of great comments before we got cut off, which was one was a woo and loving your energy. So thanks very much for taking part, and I'll see you again later on at 4.

Fantastic. Bye guys, thank you.

Right, we're going to take a quick 5-minute break and then we'll be coming back with our next speaker, and I'm going to do a little bit of work on trying to see what happened with the other, with the other link. I'll speak to you soon. I've only got 6 people on live now. I need to get back onto that other, other video just to put a note in to say that we're back on. We're obviously only allowed to go for two hours then.

Yeah.

So I'll have to stop it every two hours. Yeah. We've only got seven.

It went left my screen.

I thought it was just my phone. No, it was here. I can't remember my password for for YouTube. Awesome. Excellent. Come on, what are you doing? Where's my lives? Oh no, where's it gone? Doesn't look like it saved the fucking video.

Hey?

Doesn't look like it saved the video. John Kenny thing. Oh, shh. I haven't had the mute button on. Hello, welcome back. We have had a few technical difficulties with us being chopped out of YouTube, so what we're going to do— let me just check— what we're going to do is after every speaker we will have a little bit of a break and drop the live feed on YouTube just in case we have any more problems. But just stay on YouTube and another live video will start. We have got our next speaker coming up very soon. I'm just trying to get my YouTube sorted out this end, so just bear with me for one second. Okay, here we go. Yeah, so sorry about that, really apologize. We are going to bring on our next speaker in a moment. This lady is the founder of Motivated Mummies, a confidence coach and author. We are going to now bring in— please welcome Tammy Rolfe. Hi, I'm Tammy Rolfe.

Hello.

Hello.

How are you?

I'm very good, thank you.

Happy to see you.

Thank you.

Sorry about the issue there with the, uh, the YouTube dropping out. So what I'm going to do is, uh, once we've finished speaking I will, I will drop off the YouTube Live and then we'll reconvene after a little bit of a break, just in case it's because we were going on for too long. But I didn't see anything when I was doing this about the terms around it being on for too long, so I apologize for the dropping of that out, and we can carry on now with the rest of the day.

Okay, cool.

I will leave you to it. I'll see you in half an hour or so.

Okay, so are we— am I just starting now?

You can do whatever you want, yes.

Okay, I'd better plug my microphone in then to make sure it's all good. So let's share my screen. So, hi guys, I am just sharing my screen with you, so let's, let's go through this. It's all a bit, all a bit new and exciting, isn't it? So, thank you so much for joining me today. I am, I'm Tammy, I'm the Motivated Mummies Transformation Coach, and I'm excited to be sharing some tips with you about how you can build your confidence today. So you have chosen to spend your precious time with us, and this is not taken lightly. We really appreciate it, and you are already a step above everybody else because it takes effort to, to try and put something in place at the moment. So well done for that. So today I'm going to teach you 2 important rules. Okay, only 2, but they are vital. So they're really important ones that can and have changed people's lives. So stay with me and get your pen and papers ready because this is going to be great. If you are feeling a little bit frustrated, a little bit stuck, or do you know what, even if you're feeling fantastic and you're raring to go, But for some reason something is holding you back and you just can't get going, you're in the right place. So I'm going to help you to take that action, whether you're feeling a bit down and a bit depressed or whether you're feeling awesome, these tips and strategies are going to be just right for you. So hopefully you should have your pen and paper because we have had some fantastic speakers on If you haven't, grab your pen and paper and let's get going. So I'm going to ask you a question: is your lack of action holding you back? Now, lack of action might show itself as fear, procrastination, overwhelm, lack of focus, Or just that you feel like you can't prioritize yourself. These are all ways that show themselves as lack of action, but also a lack of confidence. So our first way to to look at moving forward with this is let's look at rule one. Let's identify the problem. Now the problem at the moment is we have this huge uncertainty. You know, we've got the virus, but as well as having the uncertainty around our health, we've also got the uncertainty around our finances, our relationships, our whole daily routines. They're all up in the air, and for some people it has completely thrown them. Other people are getting along fine and they're loving life. They're living their best life because they wanted that time to themselves, they needed to press pause on the world, but still this feeling of uncertainty is causing a lot of people to have a lot of anxiety. Now, uncertainty can be surface level or it can be deeper, so for, for that I mean uncertainty can be a fear of, am I going to be able to cross the road without getting knocked down? That's a surface-level anxiety. A deeper one would be, am I loved? Am I enough? Am I good enough? That's a real deep level of uncertainty. So we're going to address that today. We're going to look at how you can create certainty, because just think about it for a second. If you are sat in your house, And your ceiling is starting to wobble, bits are crumbling down, and you look up and you think, is my ceiling going to fall down on me? Am I safe? There's no way you can be focusing on what I'm talking to you about today. There's no way you can be concentrating on anything else if you don't think that you are safe right now. So we have to have A degree of certainty in our life before we can achieve anything else. You know, if you don't feel safe, you're not going to be bothered about cooking dinner or finding food, even though food is essential to keeping you alive. You have to feel safe and secure first. So this is why some people are struggling to move on with their life at the moment. because they haven't got that foundation of certainty. So I'm going to teach you how to create that because it doesn't just pop up. You know, we have to create certainty sometimes. And once you can create that, you're then able to move forward and continue on with the rest of your life and build on that. So today we're talking about life mastery. How can you find your path? Well, I truly believe you need confidence to find your path, and you need certainty, because without that, you really are, you really are stuck without moving forward. So how, how can you create certainty when the world is so all over the place at the moment? You know, there are 2 2 ways. Let me just minimize this so you can see. There you go. So we have bad certainty and control and good certainty. Now remember, certainty means being safe, being in control, and there's 2 ways of getting that: the bad way and the good way. So let's look at some bad ways of control. These are, these are having obsessive behaviour, these are bossing other people around, these are being stressing, having worry, overeating. Who's been overeating and overdrinking at the moment? Definitely. And by understanding that that is a way of giving yourself control, you can then identify the problem And swap it over. So we want to be starting to look at good control. We want to look at positive routines and exercising and eating well, feeding your mind, faith. Faith and religion is a fantastic way of getting that control and that certainty that you really do crave for. So now it's your turn. I want you to have a look at your life and write down the ways that you are getting your certainty at the moment. Are you overeating? Are you being a bit of a control freak? You know, what are the negative ways that you're getting control in your life? And just by acknowledging them, You're going to be able to flip them. If you want to hold yourself accountable, then write it in the comments, because by joining in and telling other people, it instantly holds you accountable and it instantly helps you to take that action to turn your life around. So write down the negative ways. Let's go back so you can look at some of the ways that I've pointed out. So obsessive behavior. Bossing people around, stressing, worrying about things you don't really need to worry about. Now I want you to look at the good ways that you can get your control and your certainty. What can you incorporate into your life to build up those positive feelings, those safety feelings? Can you exercise daily? You know, it doesn't have to be big. You can do maybe 10 minutes in the morning of jumping around or go for that 10-minute walk around the block. Can you make a meal plan so you know exactly what you're going to be eating every day? You know what it's like between those days of Christmas and New Year where they're nothing days and you don't have a meal plan, you just eat scraps out of the fridge. You know, you eat the leftovers and everything is sort of up in the air. You don't have a set thing that you're going to do that day. This is what lockdown feels like for a lot of people. We're not having our routines, we're not eating healthily during the week, you know, we're not setting out our meal plans because we're going to the shops and grabbing whatever we can and then trying to make food from that. So can you switch that up and write yourself out A plan for this week coming of what exactly you're going to eat. And then the things that you're doing, can you put those into a routine? You know, can you incorporate those so they become a positive habit for you? Because that's really going to help you to move on and create that certainty that you are striving for. So that's your action plan. That's your first action plan, to write down how you are going to create the certainty in your life So that you can then move on, because we've had some great advice today so far. But if you haven't got that certainty, you're not going to action that, because you can't concentrate on anything our lovely speakers have told you. You can't concentrate on taking the action against their words if you haven't got certainty in your body at the moment. So I know what I'm talking about. I was the queen of bad control. For 20 years, I suffered with severe anxiety, social phobia, depression, everything. I had bad habits, really bad habits. This is a picture of me in 2010, and I hated how I looked. And I had to be drunk to go out, you know, I couldn't possibly go out without filling myself with alcohol. I hope my mum's not watching this. So because I just didn't feel, I didn't feel good enough because I wasn't in control of everything. So because on a day-to-day basis, I needed to control every situation to feel good, and that's impossible to do, isn't it? But I tried. Believe me, I tried. I tried to control absolutely everything. But then you get to the point where you just feel exhausted. So I needed to break free of that. But the only way I could break free was to be— was by getting drunk. Because if I was not in my right mind, then I couldn't control everything. And that was my escape route. Yeah, that was the time that I was like, oh, I don't need to be in control just for a few hours because I was drunk and I couldn't be in control. So that is just an example of a very negative way that life can be if you are following bad routines, if you are following bad control. And the worst part about all of it was I was teaching my children to be the same. Of course, I wasn't doing this on purpose, but They are sponges, aren't they? So my mission now, my mission is to reduce negative behaviours that are passed down onto our children. It's to help parents to be aware of their actions. It's to help parents to show their children how to behave rather than telling them. Because we all say to our children, don't we? Oh, you can do anything you want. You've got this. But if they're watching us not doing it, that is what they're going to copy. So when I was raising my children, I'm embarrassed to say that they were really shy. They were really shy. They weren't confident. They suffered with anxiety because that is what I was teaching them. You know, I didn't take them out to social events. I didn't take them to the classes that are available for a lot of children. They went to school, I picked them up, we came straight home, and I taught them to be a recluse because that's what I was doing. That's not good. But now, because of the way I've changed myself, my children are now 17 and 20, but they are freaking awesome. They're full of confidence. They're full of ambition. They go for what they want. They achieve great things. I mean, the little one's got 2 businesses and she's only 17. The older one went for her dreams and done a massive course and is really successful in her own career now. And they have everything they want because they believe they can get it because they've got that underlying confidence. And that comes from seeing me do actionable things. They see me have the confidence to do things like this, you know, when I was so nervous before, and they see me stepping out of my comfort zone. So my children grew up seeing me have a huge amount of anxiety. I had social phobia, which meant I couldn't go out of the house. I couldn't look at people in the eye. There's no way I could speak to a group of people. No way you would get me on stage. I would be shaking if I had to do anything in front of anybody. And that is what they grew up seeing. And it has only been 3 years since I turned my life around using the techniques that I'm teaching you today. So just in the short space of 3 years, their lives have turned around because my life has turned around. So it's your job to take the action, but I hear what you're saying. How, how do you do that when you're so crippled with fear that it's going to stop you from moving forward? And I always say to people, I am the confidence coach, but not because I'm the most confident person. It's because I understand how to take the action.

I understand The fear.

I understand all the thoughts that are going around in your head stopping you. Yet the strategies that I have learned and put into place are going to help you to move forward and take the action that you really want to take. So you may have been listening to some of the speakers today and thought, I want to do that, that sounds great. And then you have a little niggle. I can't do that. That's for other people. So I'm going to help you to overcome that so that you can take the action that you really do want to take. So this leads us to the second rule, the triad. This is one of my favorite strategies of all times because it literally turned my life around. Now, when I say to you that these 2 rules I'm teaching you today can be life-changing, it honestly is true because I went from not being able to speak to people to speaking on stage, you know. I went from not being able to go out the house because I just felt too damn ugly and not worthy enough to now being able to say yes to events, you know. I went from being not very good at school to, to writing a book. You know, to believing in myself that I could write a book even though I've got mild dyslexia that could have stopped me. I've used this triad to completely transform my life. And even though I am not the person that goes, oh yeah, I can do that straight away, I'm the person that goes, oh, that's very scary. But I'm going to say yes because I understand the benefits, and I'm going to use my triad To get me there. So let me teach you, let me teach you this fantastic rule. So the triad is made up of 3 sides. The first one is focus. Okay, what are you focused on? When you're feeling like you're too afraid to do something, or you're procrastinating, you're putting it off, you're finding excuses, what are you focused on? Now, at the moment with the virus and all this negativity, it's very common that you could be focused on loss of income, the fact that your children aren't being educated to the degree that they need to be. You might be focused on the fact that you're missing your loved ones. You might be focused on the news. You could be absolutely addicted to watching the news 3 times a day when you never would have dreamed of watching it before. So our focus is what we are attracting at the moment. The next part of the triangle is our physical side. You know, how is your body? You could be having tension headaches, you could be stressed, you could be holding yourself tight. We need to look at how our physical body is. Now, sometimes you may have been going to the gym 3 times a week before this happened. You might have been going to a keep-fit class in the evenings, and maybe you've stopped doing that because your routine's all out of whack. So it's important to look at the physical side of things, of what you're doing. And then the last point is self-talk. Now, you know that you can talk yourself into something, or you can talk yourself out of something. So it's really important to identify what you're saying to yourself. I'm going to get poorly. The economy will stop. I can't do this. I can't get my business online. I'm not good enough. I'm not like the others. I'm not a public speaker. You know, all these things that we tell ourselves, and it's all BS. You know, you can do whatever you want to do. I was telling myself for 20 years that I'm not good enough. I can't do that. I'm scared to do that. I'm ugly. I'm not good enough to do that. I can't do that. It's all I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't. And one of the biggest things now is I talk to myself like I actually like me. So we need to identify what that voice inside our head is actually saying. And sometimes people know straight away that they say these things to themselves, and other times they don't know they're doing it. So what can you do? You need to change one part of that triad. If you change just one part of that, you can change your emotional state. You can come out of fear and into positivity. So what if your focus was completely shifted To maybe concentrating on your children right now. How can you make your kids have the funnest day possible? How can you build a new career at the moment? You know, if you are an employed person and you're not working at the moment, you know, how can you start your own business? Maybe switch your focus on how you can make some extra money right now. So it's really important to have a really positive Big, good, happy focus. For example, with you today, I was nervous. You know, I haven't joined a Zoom and gone online before. I didn't quite know how the beginning bit of this would go, and that was making me nervous. My focus was on what if I can't join the Zoom call properly. I had to switch my focus to what can I give you guys today? What can I teach people that's going to benefit their life? So I had to take the focus off of me and onto you. The physical side of things, okay. If you are going into a situation that you are finding nervous, you need to move your body. There's a reason that I wave my arms around when I'm speaking. I have all this nervous energy built up. And by shaking yourself out, by moving your body, you are literally getting rid of all that nervous energy. So say, for example, you really want to do a live because you know it's going to help your business, or you just want to connect more with people, but you're terrified. You're absolutely terrified to go live. So my advice would be, before you go on, jump around, you know, put your favorite song on, have a dance around. Get rid of that nervous energy, get in some happy positive energy, and then go for it. Physically moving your body is huge. And you can do this by charging up a habit. So for example, if when we go back into the real world you have to do a meeting, you're not going to be able to jump around before you go into that. So at home, maybe you could do some fist pumps to your favorite song. You could high-five your kids. You could dance around. And then just before you go into that meeting, you could do a little fist pump and it brings back all those memories. Okay, so it doesn't have to be such a huge movement if you're in front of people. It could just be a little fist pump that reminds you of all that energy and that fun you had before you left the house. And then the last one is the self-talk. How would you talk to your child or your best friend if they were struggling? This is how we need to start talking to ourselves. So you need to start saying nice things to you. You need to start encouraging yourself. I'm great at doing lives. I'm an awesome public speaker. People connect with me. These are the things that you need to be reinforcing into your body. To start with, you might not believe it, but the more you say it, the more you will start to believe it. Because a belief is just something that you have heard over and over and over again. Think about it. If you believe that you have to work really hard for money, it could be because your parents have always told you that from a very young age. You need to work hard in life. You know, maybe every time at the dinner table they might say to you, you need to work hard. You need to work hard to get those A-levels. You need to work hard to build that business. You need to work hard to get the money in. And that's not true. As we've just heard, the law of attraction can bring stuff to us easily if we get our mindset right. But it's a belief that we've drummed into ourselves and our parents have drummed into us and the school have drummed into us. So we just need to be aware of that. So look at what you're saying to yourself. So what do you do next? Well, You take action, because self-help is only shelf help if you don't do anything about it. So you've had some fantastic advice already today, but if you just hear it and don't action it, it's pointless. You need to take action. So my suggestion to you is to devise a plan to change your triad. You know, write it down, write down the corners, write down how you're going to change your focus, write down how you're going to physically move, and write down a deep question that you're going to say to yourself, or a deep statement, or a question of positive, something that's going to make you feel good. My favorite is, you've got this, because it's empowering. You've got this. I say it to my clients, I say it to myself, I say it to my kids. Okay, so create your own triad. Look at how you're getting certainty in your life. Make sure you're implementing fantastic control. Put in positive routines. And if after then you feel like you still haven't quite got it and you need a bit of support, then use me. I'm offering you a free 30-minute clarity call. In that time, we can assess where you are now, where you want to be, and how you're going to achieve that. So if you'd like that clarity call, then take a screenshot of the, of the page, write down themotivatedmummies@hotmail.com, email me, and we can book that in. So if you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, or just even unsure of the way to go and you really want to be confident, motivated, fulfilled, and have this new path in life, then you need to take action. Okay, action conquers fear, so take action today, either by actioning what you've heard from the motivational speakers, or if you need some extra help, then book in your absolutely free Clarity call. Also, you can email me and ask for a digital copy of my book, The Motivated Mummy's Guide to Confidence. In this book, you will get 5 action steps on how to build confidence, and you can either use that for yourself or you can use it for your children. And it covers some of the stuff that we've talked about today and a whole lot more. So if you'd like that free digital copy, then email me and just ask nicely, and I will send that straight over to you. If you would like a clarity call and just have just that little bit of support and extra help, message me. Or if you know that you're ready to have a coach and you know that you have got these massive dreams that you know you can conquer with just a little bit of a push up the bum, Then I'm here for you for that as well. I coach people on a one-to-one basis, and I can help you achieve your goals. So remember, you have got this. You are awesome, and well done for joining in today. It was the first step, and now it's just a case of taking that further. So I'm really glad that I've been able to support you today. Drop some comments. In the comment box, tell me, you know, what is the thing that you fear? What is the thing that is holding you back and how you're going to attack that from today onwards? And then let us know, because that's going to help you to hold yourself accountable. As soon as you write that down and put it in the comments, you're then going to feel like you need to do that, and it's going to give you that push to carry on and take that action. So I'm going to pass you back to John now. John is coming back on.

Hello, hello, hello.

I'll stop sharing that.

Hi.

Hello, thank you very, very much. Awesome presentation, loads of great information in there for people to take away with them now and use immediately. Um, but obviously if they want to get in touch with you and take this a little bit further, they've got all your contact details I'll put a little, uh, in the comments box, we'll put your email in there as well so people can contact you. Thank you very much. You're very welcome.

I will carry on watching everyone else now.

Lovely. Thank you very much, Tammy. You take care, enjoy the rest of your afternoon. I'll see you back here at 4.

4 o'clock.

Lovely. I'll see you then. Cheers.

Bye.

Awesome, thanks again to Tammy for that. We're gonna have a little bit of a break because of the issues earlier on. We don't want YouTube to cut us off again because of the violation of the rules. All of the stuff that we've already recorded on YouTube has now been deleted. So unfortunately we can't rewatch the events from this morning, but it is recorded on Zoom, so as soon as it's ready we will put up everything that we've got onto the John Kenny Coaching YouTube channel, and the speakers, I will assume, will put up their own talks on their own stuff. So what I'm going to do is I'm just going to stop the live on YouTube just to make sure that we don't get cut off again. And I will restart it up in about 10 minutes' time, so go and grab yourself a cup of tea. Just at least stay where you are. All you need to do is just click back on again when it goes live at 1:15. So enjoy your next few minutes, and if you haven't— there's no questions for Tammy. Hold on a second. Okay, we've got a few questions just come through with Tammy after she left, unfortunately. So if you can come back at 4 o'clock to get those answered, um, we will get Tammy to answer your questions for you at 4 o'clock, along with the question for Lubna, which I've jotted down. So we've got that here as well. So I will see you back here in about 12 minutes' time. At 1:15. Speak to you soon.